Original subtitles

[SIRENS BLARING]

OCTAVIUS: It's not that kind of suit, Mr. O'Hirn.

You will never be able to remove it.

But it's tough, right, doc?

Indeed.

But your skin will fuse to the armor.

A thick, titanium resin armor.

A permanent change.

Is it me, or is your boy trying to talk my boy outta this?

Look, O'Hirn.

You'll be tough.

Tough enough to bring down you-know-who.

Then what's the holdup?

[SCREAMING]

NORMAN: Let it finish, Otto.

You owe me a success.

No more flukes like the Sandman.

I need supermercenaries I can mass-produce...

no matter how many thugs we have to go through.

Or how many doctors.

[SCREAMING]

What's with the jungle look?

Uh, the animal kingdom offers many useful ideas.

That armor is a part of him now, a thick, impenetrable hide.

The extras up top there provide offensive capabilities,

making him unstoppable.

The good doctor has his quirks, but this approaches competence.

Your Mr. Lincoln will be pleased.

Ixnay, we don't ever use the L-word.

Call him the Big Man.

O'HIRN: What's goin' on?

HAMMERHEAD: Mind your own business, O'Hirn.

Right.

My business.

Better get to it, then.

[♪♪♪]

'Cause the Rhino don't wanna keep Spider-Man waitin'!

[CAR ALARMS SOUNDING]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Livin' on the edge Fighting crime, spinning webs ♪

♪ Swinging from The highest ledge ♪

♪ He can leap above our heads ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Villains on the rise And the city's victimized ♪

♪ Looking up with no surprise Arriving in the speed of time ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Ah, ah, ah Ah, ah, ah ♪

♪ Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular ♪

♪ Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

♪ Spectacular Spectacular Spider-Man ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Hit it, go ♪

Help, police!

Must be 2000 in here.

Score!

PUNK: Yeah, and Spidey's too busy

popping big bads to worry about us.

Ta-da!

Say my name, and I magically appear.

Okay, you should fasten your seatbelt.

And you should pull over.

Right, o-okay, yeah--

No way! [TIRES SCREECHING]

[SIRENS BLARING]

[GRUNTS]

Surf's up!

[TIRES SCREECHING]

Yee-haw!

EDDIE: So, uh, guess it's Fall Formal time in Midtown.

Pete ask you yet?

Pete says he isn't going.

Tell you what.

Let me be your date.

I'll even dance.

PARKER: Uh, you don't even have to dance.

Plus, if you say yes, I promise to stop asking.

Parker!

I pay you for front-page material.

This stuff belongs back with the funnies.

PARKER: So you don't want 'em?

Not the point. What is the point? Here's the point!

Quit harassing my secretary

and get me a Page 1 web-head blowout!

Trust me, Mr. Jameson, when Spidey goes into action,

I'll be there.

Listen, you insufferable whelp!

When your publisher--

You! Benny!

I said corned beef not pastrami!

What? You wanna give me gas?

You're only four years older.

When you're 70 and I'm 66, I'll seem quite the catch.

Ha-ha. All right, I'll think about it.

That's great!

You won't regret it.

It's just a maybe.

[INDISTINCT CHATTER]

[♪♪♪]

Wahoo!

I'm wearing her down.

Ha-ha. Goodness, what's this?

It's a great day.

For starters, I sold more pics.

Here's 90 percent to pay the bills.

And 10 percent for my new camera fund.

And that's not even the best news.

I'm going to the formal, Aunt May. I got a date.

Almost, for sure.

That's wonderful, Peter.

I had hoped you'd change your mind.

So I took in your uncle's tuxedo to save you money on a rental.

The corsage and car service will be expensive enough.

Oh, car service?

Ah, this'll barely pay for the corsage.

What am I gonna do?

I can't ask Betty to take the bus.

Betty?

Who's Betty?

[HORNS HONKING]

AUNT MAY: Miss Brant?

I'm May Parker, Peter's aunt.

Might I buy you a cup of coffee?

Well, it's official.

I'm going to the Fall Formal with Glory Grant. Ha-ha.

I can top that, I'm almost definitely going

with Betty Brant. Ha-ha.

Hey, Grant, Brant.

Our girls rhyme.

Puny Parker's got a date?

Right!

You wouldn't know her, Flash.

She's 20 years old and hot.

Come on, at least tell a good lie.

Bet you show up without any date.

Or you don't show up at all. I'll take that bet.

Loser dresses as a cheerleader for Halloween.

You're on.

Oh, look, my girl's texting me now.

[BEEPS] Having coffee with Aunt May.

Um, how old did you say your girl was?

[CHUCKLING]

I gotta go.

[TIRES SCREECHING]

No one goes up to the Bugle without a pass, sir.

Make an exception.

[ELEVATOR DINGS, MUSIC PLAYING]

Hit 22, please.

These don't work so good on the little buttons.

Actually, uh, 22's already pressed, uh, so...

You're going to the Bugle? Ha-ha.

Yeah, your name ain't Parker, is it?

Ha-ha. No point in paying the city prices,

when there's perfectly good coffee here.

I do appreciate a sensible girl.

[PEOPLE SCREAMING]

Bring me Peter Parker!

What does that awful man want with my nephew?

Shh. We'll ask Peter later.

RHINO: I ain't stupid.

Peter Parker takes all the web-creep's pictures.

[♪♪♪]

I've gotta hurry.

Before Aunt May destroys everything.

Who do you think you are?

Oh, or what do you think you are?

I'll give you 15 seconds to write me a check

for these damages or--

I-I mean, how may I be of service?

Peter Parker!

Now.

[♪♪♪]

JAMESON: Uh, don't-- Parker?

Uh, Parker the photographer?

Oh, uh, never met the guy. No address, either.

Only makes contact by e-mail.

[GRUNTS]

What a fine, brave man to protect my nephew that way.

I'm glad Peter's found such good people to work with.

But you're too old for him, dear.

[GASPS]

[♪♪♪]

What do you think, I'm stupid?

Well, you are dressed stupid.

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTING]

Put me down.

It's for your own safety, picklepuss.

What do you want with Parker?

You. Just you.

And payback for all the times you took me down.

O'Hirn?

Not anymore.

Call me Rhino.

Hey, watch it, glass doors are expensive.

[GRUNTS]

Your goop's useless now, creep.

First Marko becomes Sandman, now this?

What's the Big Man's next move?

Turning Flash Thompson into the Belligerent Bug-Zapper?

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

If I can't stop this bruiser, maybe 2 feet of concrete will.

[GRUNTING]

No!

[SIRENS BLARING]

[GRUNTING]

Ha-ha. Thrill ride.

Attention Rhino.

Lay down flat...

in your crater.

And keep your hands where we can see them.

You see 'em now?

[♪♪♪]

[ALL SHOUT]

[GRUNTS]

This one's mine, detective.

Hey, needle-nose!

The party's over here.

Ha-ha. You like being hunted, freak?

Would you please look who's talking?

I may be a freak, but I'm not a coward!

Even the old O'Hirn never ran away scared!

I'm scared all right.

Scared some bystander will get hurt.

Gotta lure rawhide someplace deserted.

Hurry up, hippo!

Whoa!

But where do you find deserted in a city of 8 million?

[GRUNTS]

Stupid truck.

Made me lose Spider-creep.

[CLEARS THROAT]

[YELPS]

[GRUNTING]

[GRUNTING]

Ugh. That's gonna leave a mark.

[GROANS]

[GRUNTS]

This always works in the cartoons.

Oh, television so cannot be trusted.

[GRUNTS]

Remember what I did to them bowling balls?

[♪♪♪]

Wait, wait.

What? Weight.

[GRUNTS]

Where'd you go?

[PANTING]

[GRUNTING]

How's that for confident?

He stops to satisfy before smashing me.

Unless it's not confidence.

Okay, break's over.

[♪♪♪]

Ha. You missed.

Over here, Moose.

Let's play follow the leader.

Think you can hide from me down there?

Think again.

Whew!

Hot enough for you?

Come on, you big lug,

let's go for a run.

[GROWLING]

[SCREAMS]

[GROANING]

SPIDER-MAN: Can't help noticing you've stopped spouting off.

[PANTING]

What's the matter?

Mouth a little dry?

[♪♪♪]

[CAR ALARMS SOUNDING]

See, my mistake was trying to crack open that hide of yours.

Ha. Nothing can do that.

Big Man's guys told me.

I'm impenetrable.

Too true. And if nothing can penetrate, you can't perspire.

Your face is sweating for your whole body.

It's probably enough under most conditions.

But in a steam tunnel...

I gotta...get outta here...

[PANTING]

Yeah, good luck with that.

[SCREAMS]

[PANTS]

[PANTING]

Come one, come all.

Before your very eyes,

the world's largest dehydrated turtle.

I swear I'm gonna crush you.

Promised Big Man I'd crush you.

Crush you...crush you...

I'll crush you...

Are we losing it a bit, Alexander?

Only Mama calls me Alexander.

You're not my mama.

Not my mama...mama...

Yes, I think we are.

Mama?

Do I have to go to school?

So, Alexander, tell Mama:

Who's the Big Man?

Ixnay.

We don't ever use the B-word.

Call him, Mr. Lincoln.

[GROANS]

You're gonna need a crane.

[SIRENS BLARING]

HAMMERHEAD: I'm impressed.

Rhino's still underground.

And OsCorp's already got the contract

to build his prison cell.

After our success containing Sandman,

whom else would the city call?

Meaning you get paid comin' and goin'.

Sweet.

Very. But these midtown brawls...

People are beginning to ask questions.

Best to let things cool off for a bit.

We cool off,

when the Big Man says so, see?

Or do you want people to know who created

Freak 1 and Freak 2?

Please, there's nothing to trace them back to OsCorp or myself.

Really?

Tell that to Dr. Octavius.

Hey, Dad, great news!

I got straight A's on my midterms.

I made the varsity football team, first-string.

I have a date to tonight's formal

with one of the hottest girls-- Harry.

Can't you see I'm in a meeting?

Get out.

Yes, sir.

Sorry.

Didn't mean to interrupt.

[♪♪♪]

JAMESON: That wall-crawler's as bad as the Rhino.

I'll sue 'em blind!

Is it, uh, safe to come out yet?

Peter, were you here this whole time?

I-i-i-it's okay.

I was hiding.

I-I'm good at hiding.

I can also be very heroic, honest.

Could we talk for a minute?

About tonight, I can't go with you.

I'm-- I'm too old for you, and it's just too weird.

You think I'm weird?

Oh, no, you're not weird, Peter.

It's weird.

I'm sorry.

Oh, dear.

How disappointing. I imagine you need some time alone.

I'll find my own way home.

PETER: I gotta make something go right.

Uh, Mr. Foswell?

Do you know anything about a Mr. Lincoln?

Our 16th President?

Uh, not-- Not that Lincoln.

This one might also go by the name, Big Man?

Bah. You must mean L. Thompson Lincoln.

Yeah, a rumor surfaces every few years

that he's some kind of crime lord,

but, hey, I checked it out.

Lincoln looks a little odd, but he's one of the good guys.

A true philanthropist. Straight as they come.

Hey, if there is a Big Man out there,

his name's not Lincoln.

[GRUNTS]

[LOUD THUD]

[JAMESON GROANS]

[BOTH GRUNT]

I'm here to see Mr. Lincoln.

Then you should make an appointment.

But perhaps we'll make an exception

for the hero of the day.

I am L. Thompson Lincoln.

Please, you're the Big Man.

In my life, I've been called many names.

My favorite is Tombstone.

Back off!

I just took down the Rhino.

A pale guy in a suit doesn't stand a--

[GRUNTS]

[GRUNTS]

Don't move.

Just listen.

And I'll teach you the facts of life.

The Big Man, whomever he might be,

has nothing against heroes.

No hero can thwart enough crime to dent his income.

But you--

You frighten criminals off the street entirely.

Except when you're off battling the likes of the Rhino.

Then the Big Man's profitable army of petty thugs

think themselves beneath the Spider-Man's notice.

So as long as I keep fighting crime,

you'll keep making bigger and ba--

Now, you're learning.

But there is a way out.

Come work for me.

You can still save the world like a good hero.

I'll even pay you.

All you have to remember is to look the other way on occasion.

On any occasion I choose.

I can't ever look the other way again.

Let's finish this.

[SIGHS] If you insist.

[BUZZER SOUNDS]

TOMBSTONE: Spider-Man has trespassed on my property,

assaulted my employees and threatened my person.

Wait.

You can't listen to him.

He's the bad guy. He's--

[GRUNTING]

Freeze, Spider-Man. You're under--

[GRUNTS]

I never ran from the cops before.

I mean, this reeks.

I've won all the battles

and never came close to winning the war.

But Tombstone did make one mistake.

Now I know there is a war.

So bring it on.

AUNT MAY: Oh, see?

A perfect fit.

But what's the point?

Betty said no.

Gwen's not home.

I already lost the bet to Flash.

Showing up alone would just make it worse.

Well, then isn't it lucky that Anna Watson's niece,

that sweet Mary Jane, is on her way over?

Miss Wonderful Personality...

[SHUDDERS]

...is coming here?

Now?

There she is.

Oh, my, what a lovely dress.

Here, I bought her corsage.

Couldn't afford the limousine, but--

You planned this?

Aunt May, you're an evil mastermind.

[DOORBELL RINGS] Just answer the door, dear.

[♪♪♪]

[GASPS]

You mean...

you're Mary Jane Watson?

Ha-ha. Face it, tiger.

You just hit the jackpot.

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪♪]