Original subtitles

All

right, everyone.

I'm heading out early for my dentist appointment.

Hey, guys, I just forgot my wall.

Do you guys ever work even a little?

You know, in many ways, this is your fault for trusting us.

Okay, one more thing.

I have noticed that some of our adoptable cats are getting a little bit chunky.

Okay, let's not buy to shame the animals.

Trust me, the shame is not with the cat.

Okay, I may be adjourned unless anyone has anything else.

I guess of them.

Why are you drinking treads coffee?

Oh, whoops, a doodle doo.

I must have picked up the wrong drink in the kitchen earlier.

Yeah, yeah.

Yeah, good looking all over for this.

Let's get these cookies off.

I forgot I ordered six shots of espresso.

Yeah, so good.

Now you remember it.

Okay, we're done here.

Frank, I still need your paperwork for the

24 animals you brought in for the Jack Bauer.

I would do it, but scalar's broken.

Okay, you have been making excuses not to do this paperwork for weeks now.

Each moment I waste on paperwork, another animal dies.

You're making this office into a Sarah McLaughlin commercial.

That's inaccurate and also very dark for 8 a.m.

I just need the paperwork by the end of the day, please, and find another stapler.

Wait, wait, you don't think I've thought of that?

Because they're all broken.

That's not possible.

Oh, my God.

This one just a talk.

What are you guys doing to these things?

Okay, well, you don't need a stapler to finish the paperwork,

but I will put in a written request to the supply warehouse.

Can't you see?

We are hostages to bureaucracy filling out

forms to get stuff we need to fill out forms.

We don't want to.

We can't live like this.

We have to rise up.

Who is with me?

I'm not with you because it's a stapler.

Just do your paperwork.

I'm in.

You miss the moment.

I mean, we had momentum.

Look at that coffee cups, nephew.

Wait to close.

Yes, listen.

Next time, I'll make sure they don't write my

name on both coffees when we have a sleepover.

I am just really scared that we're going to get

sloppy and then people are going to find out.

And then I'm going to have to wear the Scarlett P for power dynamic and balance.

Okay, hey, you're spiraling a little bit.

It might be the gallon of coffee you drink every day, huh?

I'm literally vibrating right now.

This is your candy-ass green tea boy.

I'm so sorry.

I think I'm in withdrawal.

It's okay.

Victoria's the only one that knows and she's evolved.

Yes, but that's only because she doesn't have anyone to gossip with.

I mean, it's the exponential rule of gossip.

When two people know something, they talk someone

over here and the rumor mill is fully operational.

Oh, God.

Hello.

What the hell was that coffee cup for you?

I might as well take your tops off and mowed about each other.

You guys are so lucky that I have no one to talk to about this.

If I could, I would have been yet then.

What did I just say?

exponential rule of gossip.

She did just say this.

Lock it up.

Stagger, you exits.

Yeah, we're not that sloppy.

Hey, Tricky, I just got a call from Wellington Prep and mate.

Do they want my blood?

I paid my tuition.

I know I did.

Actually, there's a loose squirrel in the building.

Oh, well, how did the squirrel get in for free?

Dude, talk about something else, please.

Let it go.

Yeah, but I know that's your kid's school.

Do you want the call?

Or is that weird?

No, I want it.

That's because I can't wait to go and see that.

Ready?

No, got no.

Did you can in?

But they fired noon.

Great, they should point it at the squirrel and save us a trip.

But then we'd want to see that too, wouldn't we?

That'd be nice.

Probably got the rhythm for this whole movie.

Yeah, watch this.

So you're still on hold of supply warehouse?

Supply warehouse?

No, what are you doing?

We're cutting through the red tape of bureaucracy

with a 10-year-old pair of rusty safety scissors.

You do not call the supply warehouse.

OK, Arnie, the warehouse manager has to be handled very

delicately, or he buries your request at the bottom of the pile.

I'm going to get this done.

That's why he brought me in.

I didn't bring you in.

Jiminy crickets, I am this close to getting the

Scandinavian label maker that I requested four months ago.

It does fonts.

And are we in Blue Man Group?

Could you just stop drumming, maybe?

Sorry.

I forgot I was doing it so... 1038.

Good time for a second lunch.

Play me out, then follow.

Wow.

This place is so nice.

All of the toilet stores still have their doors.

Vice Prince Richardson, hello.

Nice to see you.

Don't worry, we've captured this interloper.

You, straight to detention.

Here's to Patel, I'm glad you're here and not just for the rapid squirrel.

Oh, no, this squirrel isn't rabid.

She's just in heat, probably ran in here to hide from all the mouths.

I wanted to express my condolences on the loss of your uncle.

I hope, Addie's back in school soon.

But thank you so much for saying that.

I'll pass it on to her.

Good seeing you.

I didn't know your uncle died.

I'm so sorry.

Oh, he's perfectly alive.

I just didn't want her to know that I'm raising a filthy little liar.

No.

Mm-hmm.

She said I'm off her shot that little... No, it's moving.

She said a boutique.

Addie's skipping school to go shopping.

Maybe I do like her.

No, I don't.

So I had a crazy idea.

For lunch, instead of going to a bar and watching TV like we usually do,

we get a booth, maybe make a little icon tag.

We're not going to lunch.

We have our most dangerous assignment.

Acquiring a state issued $8 state play without paperwork.

Emily specifically said not to talk to Arne.

You know, blind devotion to me is to be your greatest quality, but something changed.

Something shifted.

Like when did you start drinking espresso?

I'm very cosmopolitan, actually.

You think that focaccia is a country?

Six espresso shots is an Emily's unhinged order.

No, no, no.

To his butte barista's error.

But in another thing, you used to spend I'd say 80% of our truck rides pining over

Emily, but now that you're feeling single, not a peep.

No.

No, I'm just over her, man.

Okay, like I watched your blower nose and look at his freaking groves.

Is this espresso making sweat?

Is that... What?

What'd you get that?

From hope.

That's like an adult regular bandage.

You only wear ninja turtles.

Okay.

Who's is that?

Fine.

Emily's.

You're having secret sex with the boss.

I'll take that as confirmation.

Hey, thank you for picking me up.

I've heard a lot more than I thought it would.

All right, here's the deal.

I'm gonna need you to not say anything about me in Emily.

You are underestimating just how disinterested I am in your love life.

Yeah, brother.

I need you to shake that sarcasm sword, and I

need you to promise me you won't tell anybody.

Especially Emily, this whole thing's already got her on edge.

Oh, I won't tell.

I mean, if you go to the warehouse with me.

Frank.

Black bail.

Come on.

You better than that.

I'm not.

All right, Frank, sure I'll be seeing 22.

So I'm taking long, just need a box of false trip staplers and tundra gray.

Interesting.

I didn't see a requisition form come through.

No, I didn't submit one.

I really paid work, kind of guy.

That's unfortunate.

Yeah, isn't necessary.

It's just a stupid piece of paper.

Now you and saw my forms.

I'm going to have to politely ask you to leave.

Or...

Or... I'm sorry, this is kind of freaking me out.

Can we just leave and maybe I'll buy you a steak please?

I'm in the middle of a staring contest right now,

and you just made me realize how dry my eyes are.

Damn it.

Let's go.

Are you sure she's here?

Because these clothes are quite cold.

See that blue, so interest up.

I'm in.

Can I offer you something from our you should be in school collection?

I knew I should have left my phone in my locker.

You tell me why you're not in school right now.

I'm coming to do the kpop dance right here for everyone.

Well, you don't... No, my God, stop!

Fine.

I'm being bullied.

Hey, Zoe.

She's like the most popular girl in school.

Dad, her mum lives in France.

Yeah, and I live in constant fear that your

pants are on fire, because you are a liar liar.

Yeah, she is.

But I can see exactly what you're doing.

Stay there.

I think, yeah.

He's a lovely aunt.

Eddie's 100% getting bullied.

Oh, don't be a sucker.

She just wants to waste my money in a different location.

You want to know how I know this?

And it might blow your mind.

I was bullied.

Yeah, that's... And I would have gone after Eddie on day one.

Look at her.

Yeah.

She's wearing both halves of a best friend's necklace.

And I just see a really normal girl with a really hot dad.

Okay, I know what I'm talking about, because I was a monster.

They wanted to make a documentary about me.

Yeah!

Yeah, that's a tough break.

But hey, let's go get that brokerage.

When I go on a lunch until I pry up in the window of

government and efficiency and take what I deserve.

Wait, are you talking about breaking and entering?

A B&E?

Are you talking B&E's right now?

I can't do a B&E, Frank.

Oh, yes, you can.

Unless you want me to tell you're a very neurotic girlfriend

that I know is secret that'll rip her world apart.

What is your endgame, Frank?

I mean, let's say you get this staple.

You're still gonna have to do that paperwork.

No one.

We got thousands of excuses.

Hand cramp, religious holiday, back cramp.

I can kick this down the road until retirement.

You're insane, brother.

And it sounds like you're cramping a lot.

We gotta get you some potassium supplements or something.

What I gotta get is an accomplice.

Fine.

Let's get this over with.

Okay.

You got this kid.

You got that.

All right.

Let's taste your heart.

No.

Yeah.

I really hope she crumbles because if she transfer schools, I say so much money.

You don't know what Zoe could do to her long term.

To this day, I still get messages from women

saying that little Vicki ruined their lives.

Well, I certainly don't want that variety.

Yeah.

God, you know, it just wrecks me that all the swagger, like skip the generation,

right?

So are you.

We're getting fire.

That must be it.

You know what?

I'm going to talk to the vice principal, ask her to make an announcement.

Stop.

It's an entire swing, then they all find out.

It is like you have a playbook on how to create scaring memories.

You've got to stop.

I'll talk to Zoe.

Cool girl to cook, you know.

Hi, girl.

You are so dope.

I love that bit.

Question.

And this is super cringy.

Do you think you could be like, chiller to Eddie?

Are you somebody's mom?

Is somebody missing her mom?

No, I'm not there much older than you.

I'm like, borderline big sister age.

Maybe you need to spend less time looking up teen slang

on chat, GBT, because it's giving you a technique.

Wrinkles on the front.

Pump in the back.

You're a humpback.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come back.

Come on.

You've got to push.

You've got to push.

Put your hands above your head.

I am.

Perfect execution.

Okay, I'm up here.

Brinkles your head.

Break your head.

My relationship's exposed.

I'm being blackmailed, committing a crime.

Caffeines that can't wait to drop for you.

Oh, here they are.

This is it.

And preloaded.

Frank, that was too close.

We can't keep going.

Stop.

Stop, I can't stop.

I asked you to leave.

We asked you to leave.

Now you don't get to leave.

No, you don't get to leave.

Johnny, let me have my moment.

Now you don't get to leave.

And swarm.

Unbelievable.

Frank.

All I wanted was a little bit of lunch with my bro soup.

Half this sandwich.

Regular stuff.

And now I'm here.

Prisoner of a war I wanted no part of.

We are all prisoners in the war against bureaucracy.

I'm glad you're finally figuring that out.

Look upon my things.

Look upon my beautiful things and despair.

I'm pretty sure this town is kidnapping.

I mean, I don't want to victim blame, but we did break it.

It's kind of illegal why.

I squeaked this dry erase markers.

Magnets so strong that could hold up even your ego.

It could have opened yours.

If you'd just filled out the proper paperwork.

Arnie.

Emily from Precinct22.

Thank you so much for calling me instead of the police.

And I'm so sorry about trying to Frank.

It was disappointing.

Oh, it is definitely disappointing.

And I certainly hope it won't affect what I feel is a wonderful working relationship.

You put in for the Copenhagen label maker, didn't you?

Oh, yes, I did.

And I am excited.

Yep, that's the one.

That's me.

I filled it out in a blue ballpoint ink, just like you requested.

Realistically, I'm looking at 2027, aren't I?

Things break your way.

Well, that girl was mean.

Are you... Trying to fix my hump?

Yeah, I am.

Zoe destroyed me.

And now I know what all the girls I told me didn't felt like.

First time experiencing empathy?

From the safe ward, I'm turning over a new leaf.

I'm never going to be me, never again.

Well, you can't become a better person just yet.

We still got to figure out what to do with Zoe.

No, I'm out of the game.

It's just... it's not who I am anymore.

If she's making you feel like this, imagine

what she's doing all those kids at Wellington.

We need to stop her for Addie.

Yeah.

Okay, well, maybe we need to do this for all the kids tormented by little Vicky.

So what do you say?

One last drop.

Why do we need to find Zoe's car?

How about we leave the revenge to little Vicky?

Got it.

Now what?

Okay, I don't even have to break in.

Wait until the male squirrels get one of these pheromones.

That's not going to... Come and get it, boys!

You're a sick genius.

Real pranks on these warning, boys.

All that anticipation to stand up alone with a towel.

Get me too close to her?

Oh, yeah.

You know, I expected this out of you, Frank.

You expected us to get kidnapped when office applied warlord and pleaded pants?

Never mind.

But Shred, I am really disappointed in you.

I have been working my tush off for months to get that label maker and you know it.

My drawers, they're unlabeled.

My file folders, they're handwritten tabs.

The spot on my desk where a label maker should be, that's empty Shred.

There's nothing there.

Emily, he knows that I'm...

You're bossing your my employee in a normal working relationship.

Yeah, Emily, he knows we're star-crossed ladders.

Why, you... you told him?

Oh, I didn't tell him he figured it out.

He's too good at noticing.

Well, okay.

That's that.

Everybody's going to find out.

And oh my god, I am the Harvey Weinstein of Seattle government.

So I am so glad that I have a pre-written apology to the city on my notes app.

No.

Oh my god.

Hey, no.

If you go down, I'm going down with you.

Although I don't, I don't think we should use

the phrase going down in any official capacity.

All right, guys, guys.

I'm not going to tell anyone.

As long as... As long as what?

Don't take the bait, Emily.

Okay, it's a slippery slope.

He never stops taking.

I'm a man of honor.

And I would never abuse this new power.

He says stuff like that and he does it.

He does it.

Quiet.

The big boys are talking.

All right, Frank.

Name your price.

Remember, those have my name on them so half-ass at the same way I would.

Wait, remind me, why are we doing Frank's paperwork again?

Yeah, well, you know, Frank's rescues really benefit all of us.

It only makes sense that we should all share in the act

of, look, I don't know, I'll just buy you guys pizza, okay?

For myself, I will have a green goddess salad with dressing on the side.

Uh-huh.

Mm-hmm.

That he says the whole school thinks Ice World Zoey's car.

So now I'm cool.

We did it, we did it.

Take that, Zoey.

I'm being popular as the best.

It's like being mayor, but you've had actual power.

Good thing high school goes by prison rules.

Whoo!

Ah!

Ice won't let it look between you and your friend and Emily.

I know you, though.

I know nothing.

Right, yeah, I forgot you're a terrible detective.

You'd never be able to piece that together on your own.

Okay.

I knew for months before they told me, but that's not a confirmation.

You have to gossip with me because I have had nobody to talk to about this.

And you still don't?

No, you're not fun.

All right.

Yeah, they're not the worst couple in the world.

Wow, that's so lovely, but your best man's speech will have to be better than that.

Well, obviously, I would be the efficient.

I mean, if they make it that far, but office romance is never in well.

I think if it's for the right person, it's worth the risk.

Imagine risking it all for shredding.

I'm sensing a little bit of jealousy, age hours.

I could steal him from her in a heartbeat.

Only if you're willing to do what Emily does with him.

Which I'm assuming is some very intense handholding.

See you, Sansa.

I love your best hand.

What time do you jump?

Yeah.

Hey.

Uh... I was hoping I could have all.

I know what you're doing.

You're going to blackmail me to get what you want forever.

Great.

You get it.

So, about the next 36 Fridays.

See, that's where you're wrong because I am in fact reverse blackmailing you.

Shred, let's!

Sorry, Frank, but also... Ha ha!

The greatest munchies shouldn't have something to learn.

From Mr. Mustafa Lee's magical turn.

Oh, well, another one of the hell.

Well, I can't so clever as magical, Mr. Mustafa Lee's.

Oh, well... Very good.