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[You are not meant to see]
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What's going on, dad?
3
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Mr. Marsh you have to move, it isn't...
4
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Oh god... I'm... I'm so startled.
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Pandemic 2
The Startling
6
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My name is Craig Tucker.
7
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Last week was my bithday.
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My grandma gave me a check for a $100.
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I was so happy.
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But then four kids from school came to my house
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and said I should use my $100 for investment becoming...
12
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a peruvian flute band.
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They promised I would double my money in one afternoon.
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But the government arrested us
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along with all the other peruvian flute bands
16
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and took us to internment camp in Miami.
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We begged to go home but instead
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the government told us they were sending us to Peru.
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And so that is why I am in Peru.
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If I die, let in be known that it is because four guys I don't even like
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from school lied to me and took my birthday money.
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We didn't lied, Craig. It was a sweet idea.
23
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Yeah, how do we supposed to know that panflute bands would be an outlaw.
24
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I don't get it, they said the military would meet us here.
25
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This is where they told us to land. Can you get through to Washington?
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- I'm trying.
27
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This is Coner in Washington.
28
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Hey, Coner, the players at homeland security told us to start the operation.
29
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There's nobody here to meet us. It's like they sent us to no man's land.
30
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Jesus, they're everywhere.
31
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What are everywhere?
32
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So furry. They're attacking... every city...
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People dying... Guinea pigs... All over...
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Guinea pigs?
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Can't stop them... Need to get out...
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I just ate... a peanut... peanut now stuck in throat...
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Shouldn't eat peanuts... when scared...
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I've got the videocamera, got it turned on again.
39
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Okay. This is Randy Marsh, I'm shooting this video of myself.
40
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20 minutes ago some huge creatures attacked our town.
41
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It's still chaos out the window.
42
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I barely made it back to the house.
43
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Sharon is here with me. And there's Shelley. Wave to the camera, Shelley.
44
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Randy! Will you put down that camera? We need to figure out what to do.
45
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I don't know what to do. I'm so startled.
46
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We have to see what the news is saying.
47
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This is a shot of NYC where the giant guinea pigs have also attacked.
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Guinea pigs?
49
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Reports of attacks are coming from major cities all over the world.
50
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Jesus, the thing is worldwide.
51
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Look at that thing.
52
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Randy, what are we gonna do?
53
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Oh my god, oh my god, oh my god!
54
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Go, Randy, run!
55
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Gotta get out.
56
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Michaels? Harrison? Anybody?
57
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Nothing. L-Sat is down and no answer at RCU.
58
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Whatever's going on out there is huge.
59
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Aw, all right, just let me get this straight.
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The head of homeland security ordered you to fly us, five kids,
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to Peru, but had you land way up in Andes moutains of Peru,
62
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so that other government people could meet us and somehow tell us
63
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how to go to the capital of Peru way over in Lima. And take down their government.
64
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Yes, that was the order.
65
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And that makes sense to you?
66
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Nope, not at all.
67
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Actually the whole rounding up of the panflute bands didn't make sense any of us either.
68
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None of what that homeland security guy does makes sense.
69
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So could you just fly us home, please?
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You don't understand. The plan was to have refuelling truck meet us here.
71
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We don't have enough gas to fly anyplace.
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Aw, that's awesome.
73
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So, we've got to find another way out of here.
74
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It's starting to look that way, young.
75
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This is fun. Let's walk for miles through a spooky jungle.
76
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It just keeps getting better and better.
77
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You know, we're getting pretty sick of your attitude, Craig.
78
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[mumbles]
79
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Nobody likes hanging out with people who complain all the time.
80
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Look at that, no lights on, nothing.
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It's like humans have never been to this part of Peru.
82
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More guinea pigs seem to be moving in from all directions.
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We checked on wikipedia and found out that guinea pigs are from Andes mountains, here.
84
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What about the panflute bands? Are they on their way to the Guantanamo bay?
85
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Sir, we believe we have bigger problems right now than panflute bands.
86
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Have they been loaded on to the boats or not?
87
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No, sir. We diverted all the resources away from the panflute bands to deal with the guinea pigs.
88
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That wasn't order. The flute bands were to be put on boats to Guantanamo last night.
89
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I'm still in charge here! I want those panflute bands on the boats to Guantanamo!
90
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Yes, sir. I don't see why you have to yell at people.
91
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Where do we go, Randy?
92
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We've got to get out of town. Go through that way.
93
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- Oh, Jesus!
- Randy, run.
94
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Okay. We're running now.
95
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There's Sharon and Shelley running. Wave to the camera, Shelley.
96
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Dad!
97
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In there, in there!
98
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Oh god, oh god, I'm so startled. Are you startled, Sharon?
99
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Randy! Put down...
100
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It's gonna kill us.
101
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Just stay down, Shelley. It can't come in here.
102
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Hold on, hold on, I need to get a shot of it from outside.
103
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Randy? Were are you going?
104
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They look so good from outside the bus.
105
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Randy!
106
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What the hell are you doing?
107
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I've got really good shot of it, Sharon.
108
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I don't know, Lensky. This entire area of Peru isn't even charted on the maps.
109
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This whole walley is strange. Just look at the size of that fruit.
110
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Ain't that a peach? And how do you like them apples.
111
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Take a look at this.
112
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They look like... bee hive combs.
113
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Oh my god.
114
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Dude, what is this place?
115
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It's like an unknown walley that time forgot, where everything grows huge.
116
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That's a shock. I decided to follow you guys and now I'm in land of giants lost world.
117
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Craig, it isn't our fault. You make it sound like we was wanna be in situation like this, we don't have any choice.
118
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Yeah, stuff just happens.
119
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Stuff just happens.
120
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That's right.
121
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You just winded up being set by the government to take down the city of Lima
122
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only to wind up at land of giants lost world.
123
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That's right.
124
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You know what stuff happens to most kids? They fall off their bikes.
125
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They get in fights with their parents. They get sweddled out their birthday money.
126
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Look, wherever we are I think we better keep moving.
127
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[mumbles]
128
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All right, all right, here's Sharon and Shelley on the roof of BestBuy.
129
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We... we ran up here to get off the streets.
130
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We found the Stotch family hiding up here also.
131
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There's Chris and Linda, their son Butters.
132
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Hello.
133
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What is that? Chris, what is that?
134
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That's... that's a new sound.
135
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Oh god, look!
136
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Those aren't guinea pigs.
137
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Get off the roof.
138
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Go, go, go, go.
139
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We are now getting a report of giant bees.
140
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The giant bees have been seen at the US and Europe.
141
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Get away, there's bees everywhere.
142
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There's another one right there.
143
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Oh my god!
144
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It stung me, it stung me.
145
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Wow, that's startled me, that's really startling.
146
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I think we're just heading deeper into the mountains.
147
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Yeah, maybe we should start heading that way.
148
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[mumbles]
149
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Hey, have a look at this.
150
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What is it?
151
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I don't know. Looks old.
152
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Let's see what's in there.
153
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Let's see what's in there.
154
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That's why you guys get into this situations.
155
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Because when you come across a spooky ancient ruine, you say
156
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Let's see what's in there
157
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It might be way out, Craig.
158
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Yeah, mr. Complainy Pants.
159
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Wow!
160
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I don't think anybody's been here for centuries.
161
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[mumbles]
162
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You guys, look at this. It's a wall of ancient drawings.
163
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Dude, it's a peruvian flute band.
164
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I know, and look. Looks like the panflute music is driving away giant guinea pigs.
165
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Oh, no way, look. The panflute bands put in prison. Just like what's happened.
166
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And then the guinea pigs killing people.
167
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And then...
168
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Dude, it's Craig!
169
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What?
170
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That is Craig.
171
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Dude, Craig, what's going on?
172
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I've no idea.
173
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Well, do you mind telling us what you doing on ancient incan wall, Craig?
174
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I don't know.
175
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There's now word of huge bee hives forming in cities across the US and Canada.
176
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Europe and China are reporting deaths by guinea pigs in the tens of thousands.
177
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And how are the efforts to contain all this going?
178
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It's bad, sir. It seems we have no way of stopping it. We've lost complete control.
179
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Uh, sir?
180
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I'm sorry, I just thought of a funny joke.
181
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All right, get the jets ready. I need to get to Machu Picchu.
182
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Machu Picchu, sir?
183
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Yes, I need to be taken to Machu Picchu, have you lost your hearing?
184
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But sir, what could possibly be at Machu Picchu to help...
185
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Am I in charge or not?!
186
00:12:36,661 --> 00:12:40,272
We're in grocery store now. Some other survivors here.
187
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Can we get out through the highway?
188
00:12:42,769 --> 00:12:45,487
Highway's unreachable. There's guinea rats all over it.
189
00:12:45,487 --> 00:12:48,957
Guinea rats? What do you mean guinea rats?
190
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Look, there are guinea pigs but there's also guinea bees, guinea rats.
191
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I've even seen some guinea spiders out there.
192
00:12:55,485 --> 00:12:57,170
Randy, will you stop doing that?
193
00:13:00,078 --> 00:13:02,606
Look, I thing we need to find the way out under the city.
194
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In the sewers? It can't be safe down there.
195
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Oh god, what are we gonna dooo?
196
00:13:10,869 --> 00:13:12,755
Something's inside the store.
197
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Guinea rabbits, they're inside!
198
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Argh, they're everywhere... Help me!..
199
00:13:27,126 --> 00:13:29,603
No! Travis, no!
200
00:13:31,939 --> 00:13:33,373
Thare's something over there.
201
00:13:34,116 --> 00:13:37,626
- It's a guinea bear.
- No, it's a guinea mouse, stupid!
202
00:13:41,487 --> 00:13:44,164
Randy, the store room, we gotta get to the store room.
203
00:13:51,876 --> 00:13:53,541
Mom, I can't see.
204
00:13:53,541 --> 00:13:55,998
It's ok, Shelley. Daddy's gonna turn on night vision.
205
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There... there. Okay.
206
00:14:00,752 --> 00:14:01,674
AAAA
207
00:14:02,316 --> 00:14:05,024
- What, what, what, what?
- Nothing, sorry, I just startled myself.
208
00:14:07,200 --> 00:14:08,404
AAAA!!!
209
00:14:10,861 --> 00:14:12,485
Let's head over this way guys.
210
00:14:13,358 --> 00:14:15,524
- You hear that?
- It sounds like water.
211
00:14:15,524 --> 00:14:16,878
Yeah, it's coming from up there.
212
00:14:20,067 --> 00:14:21,471
Wow!
213
00:14:27,598 --> 00:14:29,123
Dude, that's awesome.
214
00:14:29,123 --> 00:14:30,045
All right, let's go.
215
00:14:30,717 --> 00:14:31,740
No.
216
00:14:32,412 --> 00:14:33,740
Wha... what do you mean no?
217
00:14:34,448 --> 00:14:36,544
I'm not following you guys anymore.
218
00:14:37,938 --> 00:14:39,352
Dude, we have to get check this out.
219
00:14:40,084 --> 00:14:40,706
Why?
220
00:14:42,752 --> 00:14:44,717
'Cause just... That's just the way it is.
221
00:14:45,088 --> 00:14:48,689
Everytime bad thing happens you guys end up putting yourselves
222
00:14:48,689 --> 00:14:52,269
deeper into the middle of it because "That's just the way it is".
223
00:14:53,021 --> 00:14:56,340
Hey, we aren't the ones on an ancient temple prophecy wall, buttwipe.
224
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I don't care. I've decided that I'm done.
225
00:15:00,101 --> 00:15:02,528
I'm choosing not to be a part of this anymore.
226
00:15:03,541 --> 00:15:05,136
How would you do that?
227
00:15:05,336 --> 00:15:07,011
It's easy, watch.
228
00:15:17,000 --> 00:15:18,475
Craig, dude, wait up.
229
00:15:22,716 --> 00:15:25,885
- Dude, Craig, we should go back now.
- No.
230
00:15:29,876 --> 00:15:32,454
- Hey, look, there's something here.
- Nope.
231
00:15:38,190 --> 00:15:40,868
Dude, this is boring, this is just a bunch of walking around.
232
00:15:41,610 --> 00:15:44,598
Yep. Nice and boring. Just the way I like it.
233
00:15:48,389 --> 00:15:52,110
It's been three days now since the guinea pigs and the guinea bees attacked.
234
00:15:52,441 --> 00:15:55,911
Guinea rabbits are still everywhere along with few guinea panthers.
235
00:15:56,583 --> 00:15:58,939
We've taken shelter at the outback stakehouse.
236
00:15:59,090 --> 00:16:01,717
There's Sharon and Shelley. Say "Hey", guys.
237
00:16:04,255 --> 00:16:06,230
What is that, what is that?
238
00:16:06,230 --> 00:16:09,299
I'm... I'm gonna take a look outside. What is it?
239
00:16:09,299 --> 00:16:11,535
It's a guineasaurus rex.
240
00:16:19,528 --> 00:16:22,005
- Oh my god!
- Oh no, I'm way too startled.
241
00:16:22,005 --> 00:16:22,958
Look!
242
00:16:28,494 --> 00:16:30,399
Jesus, they can't kill it.
243
00:16:31,733 --> 00:16:34,260
What do you think about the guineasaurus rex, Shelley?
244
00:16:37,399 --> 00:16:40,689
Oh, that's good. There's Shelley with the guineasaurus rex in the background.
245
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Don't get a ... Shelley.
246
00:16:43,637 --> 00:16:46,866
Oh, I know, hold on your palm so it looks like you're holding the guineasaurus rex.
247
00:16:47,468 --> 00:16:48,371
Shelley...
248
00:16:48,371 --> 00:16:50,948
Randy! I have had it!
249
00:16:50,948 --> 00:16:53,706
You are putting down that goddamn camera!
250
00:16:53,876 --> 00:16:56,975
Sharon, you gonna be really glad we have all this footage of the family some day.
251
00:17:04,065 --> 00:17:05,299
Wait here a minute.
252
00:17:11,146 --> 00:17:15,819
Behold! I am standing on your precious land.
253
00:17:16,160 --> 00:17:18,988
I've waited a long time for this.
254
00:17:26,379 --> 00:17:27,332
What's he doing?
255
00:17:27,813 --> 00:17:31,574
What are your prophecy now? Nothing can stop me.
256
00:17:36,067 --> 00:17:37,441
Craig!
257
00:17:38,343 --> 00:17:40,269
No! How did you get here?
258
00:17:40,580 --> 00:17:43,849
Hey, it's that asshole who sent us to the jungle with nobody to pick us up.
259
00:17:43,849 --> 00:17:46,306
Sir, is everything all right?
260
00:17:46,306 --> 00:17:48,522
- Shoot them.
- Shoot them?
261
00:17:48,522 --> 00:17:52,073
They're a peruvian band that escaped. We must keep them contained.
262
00:17:52,073 --> 00:17:53,457
No, no, listen to me.
263
00:17:53,457 --> 00:17:55,994
The peruvian flute bands were keeping the guinea creatures away.
264
00:17:55,994 --> 00:17:58,050
Whatever's happening to the world is happening because
265
00:17:58,050 --> 00:17:59,534
you guys got rid of all the panflute bands.
266
00:17:59,955 --> 00:18:01,199
I've said, shoot them!
267
00:18:01,319 --> 00:18:04,116
Go look, it's all an ancient incan prophecy.
268
00:18:04,558 --> 00:18:06,416
Maybe we should look at it, sir.
269
00:18:06,416 --> 00:18:08,416
Damn you, Craig.
270
00:18:08,416 --> 00:18:10,736
You just don't ever stop, do you?
271
00:18:11,789 --> 00:18:13,333
I didn't say anything.
272
00:18:12,571 --> 00:18:17,706
You see, for thousands of years hoard creatures have lived in the guinea valley of Peru.
273
00:18:17,706 --> 00:18:20,864
The Incas learned how to keep the creatures at bay.
274
00:18:20,864 --> 00:18:25,909
By playing panflute music. Guinea creatures hated even more than humans do.
275
00:18:26,140 --> 00:18:28,968
But the prophecy foretold that one day the creatures
276
00:18:28,968 --> 00:18:31,856
would be unleashed and I have made that happen.
277
00:18:32,177 --> 00:18:34,684
Incas predicted the world would be saved...
278
00:18:35,256 --> 00:18:36,349
by Craig.
279
00:18:36,861 --> 00:18:39,979
But that part of the prophecy will not come true.
280
00:18:39,979 --> 00:18:42,577
For you alone. Die on this mountain.
281
00:18:47,280 --> 00:18:48,775
You... you some kind of monster.
282
00:18:49,256 --> 00:18:51,081
Oh, I'm much more than that.
283
00:18:51,462 --> 00:18:54,702
Guinea bees, guinea rabbits, guineasaurus rexes...
284
00:18:54,802 --> 00:18:57,429
I'm something much more evil.
285
00:19:04,319 --> 00:19:05,282
Guinea pirate!
286
00:19:05,703 --> 00:19:07,282
Jesus Christ!
287
00:19:07,282 --> 00:19:11,619
Sir, I promise you, I'm not going to ruin your plan.
288
00:19:11,619 --> 00:19:13,967
I'll just walk away. See?
289
00:19:28,749 --> 00:19:31,799
Okay, now there's sparks shooting out of my eyes.
290
00:19:32,209 --> 00:19:34,656
Argh, curse you, Craig.
291
00:19:51,444 --> 00:19:52,888
My name is Craig Tucker.
292
00:19:53,680 --> 00:19:57,391
Last week I stopped a guinea pirate from taking over the Earth.
293
00:19:58,584 --> 00:20:01,362
All the peruvian flute bands were released.
294
00:20:01,703 --> 00:20:05,684
And drowe the guinea creatures to the Andes mountains.
295
00:20:08,151 --> 00:20:11,170
Many people had died but mankind had prevailed.
296
00:20:12,554 --> 00:20:15,312
All over the world survivors were found.
297
00:20:15,563 --> 00:20:18,391
Living witnesses to the terror that had been seen.
298
00:20:19,053 --> 00:20:22,462
You here, look, look. What the...
299
00:20:22,462 --> 00:20:24,729
Oh, didn't have a tape in it.
300
00:20:26,283 --> 00:20:31,498
The guinea pirate lived but was taken to prison to live out the rest of his days.
301
00:20:32,120 --> 00:20:37,455
And people all over the world learned to support their local peruvian flute bands.
302
00:20:37,455 --> 00:20:39,455
And buy their CDs.
303
00:20:39,772 --> 00:20:41,928
For they protect us from the guinea creatures.
304
00:20:43,382 --> 00:20:47,083
As for me I was returned home by the homeland security.
305
00:20:47,083 --> 00:20:49,319
My parents were so happy.
306
00:20:50,392 --> 00:20:54,263
I realized that we don't always have control over what happens to us.
307
00:20:54,263 --> 00:20:56,650
We are but players on the stage of life.
308
00:20:57,643 --> 00:21:01,875
And I also learned to never listen to people come asking you for money.
309
00:21:06,067 --> 00:21:07,381
That guy's an asshole.
310
00:21:07,481 --> 00:21:08,674
Yeah, what a dick!
311
00:21:08,795 --> 00:21:10,179
[mumbles]
312
00:21:15,965 --> 00:21:18,011
Sir, sir, we have a problem.
313
00:21:18,111 --> 00:21:19,154
What now?
314
00:21:19,535 --> 00:21:23,477
The former director of homeland security that turned to be a guinea pig,
315
00:21:23,828 --> 00:21:26,475
it attacked the guards, got out of its holding cell.
316
00:21:28,010 --> 00:21:29,534
My god, you telling me...
317
00:21:29,734 --> 00:21:32,432
Yes sir, it broke out of prison...
9999
00:00:0,500 --> 00:00:2,00
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