Original subtitles

Hello, good evening, and welcome.

This, of course, doesn't mean that the pound in your pocket has lost its value.

There's some people on the pitch.

They think it's all over.

It is, though!

Thank you.

I think.

Don't be such a wimp.

Good heavens.

Jeremy Coward. Those things are bloody lethal.

Ah, poor didn't.

Lucky for you, they're not.

Well, the good news is I'm dead. Can I go, please?

No. Go to the neutral zone and tell them you've been eliminated along with the

rest of your crowd.

At least the chaste Manhattan put up a bit of a fight.

Bye.

For God's sake.

You're supposed to be dead.

That makes two of us.

Get a bunk off for a spot of lunch.

I dropped in, luckily.

But it's time we won't lodge something that really matters, eh?

Forget all that, Sean. It's the weekend.

Say it again.

Right. Get them in before we go on strike, then.

Eterne via reacina.

Bit of a conundrum, old chubby.

I think nobody's interested.

I must make the lads an Harvey Braithwaite see that.

It's his fault.

He's like Victor.

Anyway, eat your pie up before it gets cold.

I think things are coming to the crunch.

Bob, tomorrow's leave the table and now he's finished.

Bloody hell, Sarah.

What is this?

Decorations for a propaganda film about the English?

They wouldn't have sealed this room and kept it a secret.

I know

him.

Who is he?

Come on, Georgie.

Rise and shine.

Breakfast?

Oh, no.

Coffee.

What are these people wittering on about?

Silage. Absolutely fascinating.

I think I overdid it a bit last night.

I didn't say anything indiscreet, did I?

Afraid so.

Confessed you'd fancied me for months.

Said I was the hottest thing in pants in the city.

No, seriously, Jeremy, business -wise.

I've an awful feeling I said something I shouldn't have. No.

Do you know how silage is made, by the way?

rates as a family firm.

Family? My arse!

I know, yes, I notice, I notice that Mr Harvick and his stuck -up office lot

don't have to clock on like we do.

Or have to pay up if they're a couple of minutes late.

And I'll tell you this, if our demands are not met in full, then

we strike.

his interest.

It must be, it must be a last resort.

A large gin and hit, please, my good man.

A large gin and hit, please, my good man.

I am the very model of a modern major general.

I have information animal, vegetable, and mineral.

Good morning, Serena.

Come for your white feather, Jeremy. Thanks

to wimps like you. Never mind, it's only a game. Come on, it's business.

Now, what's worldwide resources rating at the moment?

Moody classified it at A3, a real dog.

Even the bucket shops won't touch it. Reason B?

A general world recession.

And they're currently facing a multi -million dollar lawsuit. What if there

no... and worldwide it has made a huge oil strike in Alaska.

Totally different.

And that's what's happened.

When New York opens this afternoon, Barker Isaacs will be flat out at the

of the market.

Their Wall Street office will be making a dawn raid. Unless we ramp the market

here first.

Precisely.

Very sharp.

Quite something, isn't he?

Razor sharp.

Word of advice.

If you don't want to get hurt, you could strictly business with JC.

This should be their diapason.

Check it out.

Yes. We meet again.

I knew who they were.

But something strange is happening here.

Andrei Zorin.

He was the head of the department here.

Everything is here. Documents from the army, official affairs.

It's easy to find him.

Sorin. Sorin.

I remember this surname.

Yes. But what about these two?

Vladimir Zelensky.

Sergei Rublov.

They are also from KGB.

But they have no data after 1966.

An old clip of Colin Bell on the telly last week.

All right.

Fabulous footballer.

Ever see him play?

I'm a season ticket holder.

Great side in those days.

Bell, Lee, Somerby.

Ah, football with football, then. Exactly.

But what happened, Albert?

I'll tell you.

Greed.

Greed's killed the game.

People nowadays are never satisfied with what they've got.

Oh.

One of Arthur's better days.

I was in old Bob's den the other day. He lets me knock in the odd chive and

keystone.

Ah. They rolled him in a barrel and baptised him into the Guild of Coopers

before you were born.

He's never seen us strike at Braithwaite's. The lads only want to

inflation. Listen to me, Robinson.

Really, employees are ruining football.

They're ruining the country.

But I'll see you all spazzed before you ruin Braithwaite's!

You have a distinguished visitor.

A major in the KGB, no less.

Hello, Andriy.

The joke is over.

The directorate thought we better have a little chinwag.

Rumbling under blackened girders, middle and bound for Cricklewood, puffed its

sulfur to the sunset where that land of laundry stood.

This dispute was really hurtling, you know.

It's always been such a friendly place.

Look how we all work together for the chalice.

I don't know what it is nowadays.

People like to be trusted.

What do you mean?

Well, clocking on machines.

Normal industrial practice?

Japanese are shown some way. There's no difference there between management and

men. Everyone's treated the same.

Are you telling me that if we all wear regulation boiler suits and do jiu

in the canteen, you'll drop the bloody clay?

No.

Look, Matt, if you make some sort of gesture and say...

Got rid of the clocking on machines.

My memories might temper their demands.

1966.

The British had a general election.

Was this something to do with that?

So long ago.

So long ago.

Harold and George on a hostage for Alec and Quentin.

All so long ago.

What is the significance of Al's wingless wonder?

Good old Bobby, good old Novy.

We think these two young men are agents.

Vladimir Zelinsky and Sergey Rublov.

The secret was 4 -4 -2, you see?

Only two up front, that's the key.

We are gravely concerned about them.

All day Ljubljana records have been erased.

Do you know anything about that?

The checkout said it couldn't be done. Joe Stalin said it couldn't be done. But

I did it, Toki. I did it.

Did what?

What did you do?

What the hell was it all about?

It has been a hard day's night.

I've been working like a dog.

It's been a hard day's night.

I should be sleeping like a log.

Let the bugger out, lads. Let the bugger out.

I don't know what they're smiling for.

We didn't get that 12%. Not far off.

Still a good deal, though. You know, he's a crafty bugger getting rid of

things. There'd have been a strike, but for that... No, I haven't, so...

you suggesting, Alison?

I know who your B .I. mole was.

Georgie Porgie Pudding and Pie.

Kissed the girls and made them cry.

Definitely heard a funny noise up there, Albert.

I got the ladder out to have a look. It's a tank. Or a mouse or something.

I bet there's nothing up there except a great big green scaly red -eyed monitor

mouse who's going to gobble up little shuddy -wuddy squidgy face.

That's a funny nose.

Just like that.

Incredible.

One of the transmitters, and everything works.

Incredible. You're sure of that?

Wait.

I hear something.

Here.

This is ALF 442.

Identify. Identify.

This is

ALF.

It's time you were in bed.

Hey, you get snuggled up. I'll come back and read you a story in a minute, all

right?

Who is this comrade Dorin?

In my opinion, he's not as crazy as he seems.

Have you ever heard of Idylenkova or Rublova?

No.

There was an interesting story here.

Yeah.

So I understand you.

I'll swing this what?

Who the hell is this?

It's Vladimir.

Vladimir Zelensky.

They don't have a right to move, do they?

But not at all. Not at all.

When in Rome, do as Romans do.

And don't lie to me in any language.

I said it was urgent.

Great run, great run. How about that?

Give me some goddamn skinny core.

My old russians.

I didn't expect you to look like something out of Disneyland.

Hi.

I'm Victor Chekov.

No relation.

I would appreciate your undivided attention.

Leave us.

So? Do the names Vladimir Zelensky and Sergei Rublev mean anything to you?

Sure. Weren't they a couple of jugglers?

In fact, didn't they top the bill at Sunday night on the Moscow Palladium?

I would advise against flippancy.

And I would advise against the KGB walking into Highgate like it was

Afghanistan. In fact, you ever walk into my office again like that, I'll throw

you out on your butt.

Got that, comrade?

Moscow has lost two agents.

They are broken out of control.

This is serious and urgent matter, and I'm in charge of it.

Got that?

No.

Now, these two jokers don't mean a thing to me.

Andres Zora and I didn't.

Bit of a guru in your branch of the KGB.

Until it was decided he was ideologically unsound, then he got a one

to Palookaville.

Gorky, in fact.

Same thing.

Okay, Major, leave this with me.

Thank you.

I really appreciate your help.

Anytime.

Have a nice day.

It seems a bit of a handful.

Anything of interest?

Once upon a time, a secret room was discovered in the Kremlin, revealing

two agents have been missing for 25 years.

How's that grab you?

Well, totally implausible.

It's probably true.

Yeah.

But she's KGB.

So what's she really up to?

I'll bet them union organisers down in London are going to be proud of you, the

way you handle Braithwaite.

Aye, maybe.

Now, you know where the Billings Society book is, don't you?

Albert. I think I haven't managed to cope without you for a couple of days.

Yeah, right.

But if you do need it, it's in the sideboard.

Go on with you.

You'll be late.

See you, Gary. Wayne.

You come up.

Bye, Dad. See you, Dad.

Here's a bit of extra pocket money for you. Oh, great, Dad.

Take care of your mother, will you? OK.

See you. See you.

You are a big dot, Leander.

Where's our Sharon?

It's up there. It's locked the bloody monkey.

I'll say goodbye for you.

No, no, I'd better.

You're not going to meet the fancy woman.

Eh? Oh, you've got to look for a partner.

Oh, no.

Just a couple of months.

Oh, we're only joking.

Is anything wrong, Albert?

Of course not.

I love you.

You are a good girl.

Them carrots will be boiling over.

Why are you talking at your ass, Carl? He was a lousy quarterback.

Bradshaw for the Steelers. That was the man.

Both yesterday's men.

Victor, what's on your mind?

Well, it's a bit embarrassing, really.

We lost a couple of our agents.

How lost?

Lost, lost.

We don't know where they are. Lost.

Disappeared lost?

The UK?

Yeah, maybe.

When lost?

1966.

You've got to be kidding me. And you're only just missing them? Yeah, well, I

said it was embarrassing.

And, look, listen, Carl, look, look.

If those guys are here, we've got to find them.

They were programmed back in the Cold War. We don't know whether they're

in our interest or anybody else's.

Names? Vladimir Zelensky, Sergei Rublev.

Look, uh...

If they have defected or you had them eliminated, you know, just let us know.

I'll check it out, but no favor.

And we'll expect something in return.

Oh, yeah, sure.

For instance, would you be prepared to tell the CIA what a Major Grishner of

KGB is doing in town?

Well, that's news to me he is, Carl.

A lot of things I don't know, but I can tell a he from a she. Oh.

I have to look him broad, too.

Did you get it?

It was a bit shitty, but it'll scribble me something in the end.

I can't believe that you guys in MI5 have to beg for a goddamn receipt for

cups of tea in a Milky Way.

Yes.

You and your bloody glasnost. Hold this a minute.

Now we're all chums.

Cutbacks are really... It's hurting us all, George. It's hurting us all.

Anyway, look, the thing is this.

It could be important that we trace these guys.

It's a bit tricky. Don't miss it in 1966.

I was only four at the time.

Yeah, well, I had already ruled you out as being personally responsible, George.

Of course.

In the 60s, we tended to lose our chance to you rather than vice versa.

Yeah, good old days, huh?

Good old days.

Oh no!

It is you.

Amazing. It's been a long time.

It really is you, isn't it, Sergey?

You haven't changed at all. You put on weight.

Yeah.

Sorry I'm late.

Had a bit of trouble with the car. Really?

Incredible.

More than 20 years.

If it's not a silly question, comrade, might one ask what you're doing with a

monkey?

You've talked to the other side?

Yeah, well, the Cold War is over, honey.

We now have an arrangement with the West for mopping up spillages.

Hardly anyone in Moscow knows about this. And you've talked to the CIA and

Just the essentials. Look, in the long run, it'll save time. Let's just see

they come up with. And meanwhile?

Well, whatever you like.

Your first visit, why don't you take in some sightseeing?

There's some excellent theater in London.

Yeah, and I guess you're anxious to check out Harrods.

I'd like to follow another line of inquiry and have a look at the archive

records of all London -Moscow traffic during the mid -sixties.

Well, if you can't be bothered, Kostov will arrange it for you.

Don't worry about that.

I've already talked to your charming archivist.

Those KGB bastards dream up the biggest fairy store in the world just to get

their noses inside our records.

You stay very close to her, Kostov.

The Lenski and Rublev don't exist, sir, and never have.

Not only do we have no data on them, but neither does the Lubyanka.

I know because we've hacked into their mainframe.

Oh, this... Myth and agent crap is just a front.

Affirmative.

Why is this Major Grishna really here?

Well, that's difficult to say right now.

Okay, Carl.

Stay close to it.

Oh, and, uh... Naturally, don't let the Brits in on this.

Hmm.

These luncheon expenses seem to be on the steep side, George.

Burger King, sir.

I thought it was rather good value.

What's wrong with the staff canteen, Mayor?

I was telling the Bulgarian cultural attaché, sir.

Stick to coffee.

I want a bit less of these flame -grilled whoppers.

There's a good chap.

What's happening on the Russian front?

I've thwarted right through the record, sir, and can find absolutely no trace of

Chekhov's so -called missing agent.

So, the playwright is deliberately trying to mislead us, hmm? I'm not sure,

something's going on, sir.

It was certainly Moscow.

Well, in Russian anyway, but he didn't use the locking code.

So, what now?

Well, I think we should use the emergency code and contact IGA.

Don't you?

Yeah.

Definitely.

What are you doing?

I thought we'd find a box, but I'm having a little chat.

Thought they'd forgotten all about it.

I'm glad they haven't.

Oh, hi.

I mean, they're taking their time, that's all.

Yeah.

Hardly touched me breakfast.

I'm famished.

I could murder a barm cake.

Tell me, what have you done with the transmitter?

Sent me back.

I signed for it.

You know what they're like. Yeah, indeed.

I reckon they'll send us back home.

Well, I hope so.

I've had this country up to here.

By the way, how did you get my number?

Well, it wasn't easy.

I knew your alias and I knew you lived in a place down south.

Ah. Luckily, it's not all that common a name.

I eventually dragged the list out of directory inquiries.

Five years of secret training, 20 -odd years hibernation, and you get my number

from directory inquiries.

Superb, isn't it?

Did you write it down anywhere?

I may be rusty, Sergei, but I am a trained agent.

I found the mouse trap.

Great disappointment.

But cats, I've been to see three times.

Really?

What does this play reveal about British characters?

I don't know. It's just an entertainment, a musical.

About cats.

Musical cats.

And people queue up to see it.

Extraordinary.

Very little on Zorin.

But there might be something here.

He apparently requested a surveillance film to be shot over here.

30th July, 1966.

Is there a film archive here?

I suppose it'd be easy for you.

No attachments.

You shouldn't have got involved, for Christ's sake. I know, I know.

I didn't for years.

Then I met Sandra, and it was like... Well, there'll never be anyone else.

And the kids... If you haven't got any, you just don't know.

Tell them off when they're naughty.

Sit up nights when they're ill.

I have such high hopes.

I always think they're the best kids in the world.

I'll never know why I left.

They'll always hate me for it.

If you're going to shoot me, at

least look me in the eyes.

What do you think you're playing at?

I'm not going in.

No attachments?

I'm on 300 grand a year.

I've got a flat in town, a cottage in the country, a string of girlfriends and

half a bloody racehorse. What the hell do you mean by no attachments?

Oh? Think I'm going to give it all up for a bowl of red cabbage in a bedsit in

Vladivostok?

Fancy a pint?

The only thing I can find that's significant for July 30th, 1966... The

Cup final.

The German Federal Republic have just taken the lead. Will you sit down?

I'd rather go in than have them come and get me. I don't want my family put at

risk. Look, I don't even know where Eccles is.

How the hell are the KGB going to find you?

That radio call was random. They've sod all to go on. But trust me... That's a

lie. You came here to kill me.

How many more times?

I'm sorry.

All right.

We set time and ignore it.

I hope you're right. 25 years, haven't got a chance.

You're really dragging 300 grand a year, sir, OK? Give or take, yeah.

We'll get him in again, you overpaid, stubborn smartass.

Ah, great ball, Nobby. Good shot, ah!

Look at the camera work. Every time something exciting happens, there runs a

crowd.

Wait a goddamn minute.

Will you look at that?

This is dynamite.

Did you see that?

A close -up of where the ball actually landed. That goal has been argued about

for years.

Patriarch! Patriarch!

No! Freeze the frame!

Look. Look at the crowd.

It's them.

I know it's them.

Sorry. Don't worry.

It's only a 500 quid suit.

Right, lad.

On the count of three.

One. Oh, no. Just chuck it in.

Let the boogers try and find us now, eh?

Right.

Hold it there.