All language subtitles for The.Big.Bang.Theory.S10E21.1080p.BluRay.x264-ROVERS

English - SDH

Hello.

I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

And welcome to a special retrospective,

where we will take a look back
at the history of Fun with Flags

on an episode we're calling...

"Fun with Flags, Behind the Flags,
A Retrospective."

Wondering how it all began?

You'll need a good attention span

For information and entertainment

That's equally effective

It's fun with flags, behind the flags
A retrospective

Flags

And mind you, when we say,
"Behind the flags,"

we don't literally mean these flags,
that's just where we have dinner.

Now, I'm sure many of you are wondering
how Fun with Flags began.

So let's hear from some people
who were there at the very start.

Howard, flashback sounds.

(PLAYING FLASHBACK MUSIC)

- I could've played that on my harp.
- Just roll the clip.

SHELDON: So tell us in your own words
about that magical moment

when Fun with Flags was born.

I honestly don't remember.

SHELDON". Well, sure you do.

I was telling you both the story

about how Haiti and Liechtenstein
discovered they had the same flag.

It was at the Summer Olympics of 1936,

and two plucky nations...

Wait, I remember.

SHELDON:
Yeah, and do you remember what you said?

Yes. "Please find someone who cares."

And that's exactly what I did.

I found a lot of someones.

Almost 200.

Many of them on purpose.

And now we're going to
turn it over to you, the viewers,

to call in and share your favorite
Fun with Flags moments.

And don't get discouraged if the
phone lines are jammed, just keep trying.

Oh, thank God! Welcome to Fun with Flags.

Hey, Sheldon. Hey, Amy. It's Bert.

What... Hello, Bert, and what is your
flag-related comment or query?

I have a girlfriend.

And what does that have to do with flags?

Nothing, I just wanted everyone to know
I have a girlfriend.

All right, Bert, you're tying up the line.

My apologies to all of you trying to
call in with legitimate flag comments.

All right, we have our next caller.

BERT". Her name's Rebecca.

(THEME SONG PLAYING)

Should we get lunch
or you wanna eat at the zoo?

"Oh, Howie, I don't need food
as long as I can look at my phone."

I don't like when you imitate me.

You wanna hear my Stuart?

"It's been a while
since I've gone on a date.

"You mind if we
watch the monkeys doing it?"

I said that to you in confidence.

If this is supposed to be
our family fun day,

what's so important on your phone?

I'm on the day care's website.

What... Stop looking at that.

The day care's great. It's on campus.

My office is two minutes away,
there's nothing to worry about.

What if she likes the people
who work there more than us?

She already likes soap bubbles
more than us.

When I go back to work we're gonna
leave her with these people.

We don't know anything about them.

I mean, they're highly-trained educators
with background checks.

They're even required to be current
on all vaccinations.

You leave her with me,
and I'm not any of those things.

Where's Howard?

He took the day off.

Oh, let's take advantage of his absence

and tell the kinds of jokes
only physicists get.

I'll go first.

Oh, hey, here. Heisenberg is pulled over
by a police officer.

And the policeman says, "Did you know
you were going 85 miles per hour?"

And Heisenberg says,
"Darn it, now I don't know where I am."

So Howard back Monday?

Yeah.

- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hello.

- Hey.
- You wanna join us?

(BLABBERS) But he's a geologist,
and I have more physics jokes.

Quick, sit.

So Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend.

Yeah, which he rudely announced
on my flag show.

People were so upset about it,

no one else called in
the rest of the night.

Sorry, I couldn't help myself.

I guess I just love love.

Well, I'm very happy for you.

We're all having dinner tonight,
why don't the two of you join us?

Yeah, hold on,
we don't know anything about this woman.

What do you wanna know?

Well, is she a geologist?

- No.
- Oh, great, see you at 7:00.

How about after this
we go see the exotic bird show?

Not a good idea,
my hair is a coveted nesting material.

Learning anything?

Well, sloth babies cling to their
mothers' bodies for almost a year.

I'm going back to work
after only four months.

So I've learned I hate myself,
I hate sloths,

and I hate you for bringing me here.

Me, I get, but that sloth is pretty cute.

It's not just the sloth.

Polar bears nurse their cubs
for almost eight months.

The orangutan mother builds her baby
a new home every night,

and what do I do?
I choose my career over my child!

Told you we should've gone to LEGOLAND®.

Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend
and I don't.

I thought you were taking a break
from women to focus on your career.

Oh, grow up!

(KNOCK ON DOOR)

Don't you have any friends he can date?

I already set up Howard and Bernadette.

It's your turn to
ruin some poor girl's life.

- Hey, guys, come in.
- Thanks.

Everyone, this is Rebecca.

- Hi.
- ALL: Hi. Hello.

She's younger
and far more attractive than he is.

(LAUGHS) They're copying you two.

What are you making?

Chicken. Birds mess with my hair,
I come back hard.

Finally get Halley down?

Yeah, eventually.

She's still not happy about
taking a bottle though.

Look, if you're not ready
to go back to work,

we'll figure something out.

No, I'll be fine.

It might be good for her.

Howard's mother
was around him all the time,

and he's a world-class mama's boy.

I mean, why would you say that?

Go ahead, have a tantrum,
that'll prove me wrong.

It would be nice to raise Halley to be
a little more independent than you were.

I guess.

It wasn't until college that I learned
you can put a thermometer in your mouth.

On that charming note, dinner is served.

So, is this your first time
dating a scientist?

'Cause I'm thinking of
starting a support group.

Actually, I'm not new to this.
I was engaged to a Scientologist.

Bert, Rebecca, I'd like to apologize
for my insensitive comment earlier.

Don't worry about it, it's fine.

See, it was fine, I didn't need a timeout.

(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
It wasn't a timeout. Let's get some food.

But you made me sit on the stairs
and think about what I did...

Get your food.

- So how did you two meet?
- Yeah.

Oh, it's such a cute story.

We met on a dating website.

Is that it?

Oh, sorry. "The end."

That's nice. I haven't had much success
meeting people online.

I didn't either,
until I revamped my profile.

What did you do, delete your photo?

- Go.
- Fine.

And don't you slam that door.

Oh, man.

Did I say something wrong?

No, it's always him.

So, Bert, you were telling us
how you updated your profile.

Right, I wasn't getting any responses.

And then I added,
"Recent $625,000 MacArthur Grant winner,"

and five minutes later,

- I met my soulmate.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)

I was wrong, you can come back in.

So, Rebecca,
how did you become a personal trainer?

I came to Los Angeles to be an actress
and things didn't really work out.

I'd say she's copying you again, but...

I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.

I'd love a personal trainer.

I haven't seen my abs since they opened
a Shake Shack on my drive home.

I could give you some free sessions.

Oh, is that offer for everybody?

(CHUCKLES) Nice try, I'm not going.

- Where's your bathroom?
- Just down there.

She's so perfect,
sometimes I think she isn't real.

And then she goes to the bathroom
and I know she is.

Aw. That's so weird.

I'm sorry, Bert, but aren't you worried
she's only with you for your money?

She better be.

On our first date,
I bought her an 80-inch flat screen.

Your first date? What...
Did you even measure her walls?

Yeah, on our first date,
Leonard used a coupon to buy me a pretzel.

And we lived happily ever after.

The end.

- Well, I guess I'm ready to go.
- Have a great first day back.

You have everything she needs
for day care?

Yep, all in the bag.

Okay.

Okay, sweetie, Mommy's going to go
to work now, so you have fun today.

I told her if day care's
anything like prison,

find the biggest baby and knock 'em out.

Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you.

(VOICE BREAKING) But I'll be waiting
right here tonight when you get home.

Stop, you're gonna make me cry.

Great, now everybody's crying.

At least Hailey's not.

That's good.

She's not gonna see us all day
and she doesn't even care!

- Who's ready to laugh?
- (WHINES)

Okay. So,

Feynman, Einstein and Schrédinger
walk into a bar.

Feynman says,
"It appears we're inside a joke."

Einstein replies, "But only to an observer
who saw us walk in simultaneously."

To which Schrodinger says, "if someone
is looking in the window, I'm leaving."

(CHUCKLES) That's actually funny.

(LAUGHS)
You should send that to Jimmy Fallon.

- Hey.
- Hello.

- Hey, Bert. Yeah.
- Join us.

Hey, sorry if last night was awkward.

Actually, it got me thinking that
I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love.

I might break up with Rebecca.

Wow, that's a big step.

I think it shows a lot of character.

I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find a
hot young blonde who likes me for me.

(LAUGHS) Good one.

Okay now, Leonard, you tell a joke.

- BERNADETTE: How's she doing?
- She's great. Here, look.

I see a wall, the floor,

some Asian baby.

There she is.

See? Nothing to worry about.

Thank you. Okay, I'm gonna try
and get some work done.

Yeah, me too. I love you.

Love you too, bye.

(PHONE BEEPS)

- STUART: How is she?
- (YELLS)

What are you doing here?

Can't a guy hang out at a college
he doesn't go to

and stare at a baby that isn't his?

I get it,
I haven't even made it to my office yet.

(CHUCKUNG)

Is it weird if we just stand here
and watch her all day?

Probably.

We should go.

Yeah.

(EXHALES)

Or we could take her to the aquarium.

I'll get her, you grab her bag.

Hang on, Halley,
we're busting you out of there!

What are you looking at?

Comments from our
Behind the Flags Retrospective.

Get this, people are calling it,
"The longest one yet."

- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- BERT: Hello? Anybody home?

Is that Bert?

It's Bert.

I think it's Bert.

Hey, what's up?

I broke up with Rebecca.

- Oh.
- Oh... Well, good for you.

No. I miss her.

I don't know why I listened to you.

He's not wrong.

It was your crackpot idea
that he deserves love.

You know, you need to start
raising your hand before you speak.

Yes, starting now.

Bert, you're a good guy,
you deserve a woman

who's interested in
more than just your money.

She was also interested in walking
around my house in her underwear.

Now the only one doing that is me.

If you're that upset, go get her back.

I tried, she's not answering my calls.

Which really hurts
because I bought her that phone.

I made a huge mistake.

No, you didn't, okay?

Look, Bert, when I had money,

I dated lots of girls
who weren't right for me.

And then I gave up my money,
and now I'm alone

and living with my friends and somebody
else should probably talk now.

Look, sweetie,
relationships aren't about money, okay?

It's about respect
and having things in common and...

Yes, Sheldon?

You and Leonard don't have anything
in common, maybe you should break up.

You called on him.

Guess who's home from day care?

It's Halley! Unless somebody else put
an "X" on the bottom of their kid's foot.

You realize they called when you took her.

Guess who's home from the aquarium?

Sorry again for barging in.

You don't have to go,
you're welcome to hang with us.

But, actually, our friendship group
is at capacity.

But if anybody drops out,
you are at the top of the list.

Well, unless it's Raj, in which case
we'll probably get a person of color.

You guys are nice,
but I'm just gonna buy Rebecca a jet ski

and see if that gets her back.

- (DOOR SHUTS)
- I feel bad for Bert.

Well, so he's using his money
to attract a mate.

Is that any different than me using
my intelligence to attract Amy?

Or Leonard using his power of groveling
to get Penny?

It's totally different.

Bert's money might run out,
but I can beg until the end of time.

All that and he's shorter than me.

Sheldon, what did Amy have
that attracted you?

So many things.

Her mind, her kindness,
and especially her body.

Really?

Relax, we're the same blood type.
He knew he could harvest an organ.

She does look happy.

See, this is the right thing for her.
Let's all just go to work.

Any time.

Let me just say goodbye.

Halley, look at Mommy.

Over here, honey.

Say goodbye to Mommy.

Look at me. Look at your mother!

(BABIES START CRYING)

Right, we can go.

Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.

And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.

Based on the glowing reception of our
recent Behind the Flags Retrospective,

we thought you might like to see
how it all came together.

So welcome to tonight's episode...

"Fun with Flags,
Behind the Behind the Flags.

"A Retrospective Retrospective."

- Oh, we already have our first call.
- Oh!

Hello, you're on Fun with Flags.

BERT". The jet ski worked, I got her back.

English - SDH