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English - SDH
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Hello.
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I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
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And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
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And welcome to a special retrospective,
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where we will take a look back
at the history of Fun with Flags
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on an episode we're calling...
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"Fun with Flags, Behind the Flags,
A Retrospective."
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Wondering how it all began?
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You'll need a good attention span
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For information and entertainment
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That's equally effective
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It's fun with flags, behind the flags
A retrospective
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Flags
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And mind you, when we say,
"Behind the flags,"
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we don't literally mean these flags,
that's just where we have dinner.
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Now, I'm sure many of you are wondering
how Fun with Flags began.
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So let's hear from some people
who were there at the very start.
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Howard, flashback sounds.
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(PLAYING FLASHBACK MUSIC)
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- I could've played that on my harp.
- Just roll the clip.
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SHELDON: So tell us in your own words
about that magical moment
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when Fun with Flags was born.
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I honestly don't remember.
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SHELDON". Well, sure you do.
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I was telling you both the story
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about how Haiti and Liechtenstein
discovered they had the same flag.
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It was at the Summer Olympics of 1936,
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and two plucky nations...
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Wait, I remember.
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SHELDON:
Yeah, and do you remember what you said?
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Yes. "Please find someone who cares."
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And that's exactly what I did.
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I found a lot of someones.
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Almost 200.
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Many of them on purpose.
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And now we're going to
turn it over to you, the viewers,
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to call in and share your favorite
Fun with Flags moments.
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And don't get discouraged if the
phone lines are jammed, just keep trying.
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Oh, thank God! Welcome to Fun with Flags.
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Hey, Sheldon. Hey, Amy. It's Bert.
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What... Hello, Bert, and what is your
flag-related comment or query?
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I have a girlfriend.
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And what does that have to do with flags?
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Nothing, I just wanted everyone to know
I have a girlfriend.
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All right, Bert, you're tying up the line.
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My apologies to all of you trying to
call in with legitimate flag comments.
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All right, we have our next caller.
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BERT". Her name's Rebecca.
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(THEME SONG PLAYING)
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Should we get lunch
or you wanna eat at the zoo?
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"Oh, Howie, I don't need food
as long as I can look at my phone."
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I don't like when you imitate me.
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You wanna hear my Stuart?
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"It's been a while
since I've gone on a date.
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"You mind if we
watch the monkeys doing it?"
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I said that to you in confidence.
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If this is supposed to be
our family fun day,
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what's so important on your phone?
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I'm on the day care's website.
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What... Stop looking at that.
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The day care's great. It's on campus.
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My office is two minutes away,
there's nothing to worry about.
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What if she likes the people
who work there more than us?
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She already likes soap bubbles
more than us.
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When I go back to work we're gonna
leave her with these people.
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We don't know anything about them.
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I mean, they're highly-trained educators
with background checks.
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They're even required to be current
on all vaccinations.
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You leave her with me,
and I'm not any of those things.
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Where's Howard?
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He took the day off.
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Oh, let's take advantage of his absence
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and tell the kinds of jokes
only physicists get.
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I'll go first.
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Oh, hey, here. Heisenberg is pulled over
by a police officer.
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And the policeman says, "Did you know
you were going 85 miles per hour?"
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And Heisenberg says,
"Darn it, now I don't know where I am."
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So Howard back Monday?
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Yeah.
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- Hey, guys.
- Oh, hello.
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- Hey.
- You wanna join us?
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(BLABBERS) But he's a geologist,
and I have more physics jokes.
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Quick, sit.
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So Sheldon says you have a new girlfriend.
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Yeah, which he rudely announced
on my flag show.
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People were so upset about it,
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no one else called in
the rest of the night.
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Sorry, I couldn't help myself.
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I guess I just love love.
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Well, I'm very happy for you.
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We're all having dinner tonight,
why don't the two of you join us?
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Yeah, hold on,
we don't know anything about this woman.
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What do you wanna know?
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Well, is she a geologist?
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- No.
- Oh, great, see you at 7:00.
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How about after this
we go see the exotic bird show?
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Not a good idea,
my hair is a coveted nesting material.
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Learning anything?
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Well, sloth babies cling to their
mothers' bodies for almost a year.
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I'm going back to work
after only four months.
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So I've learned I hate myself,
I hate sloths,
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and I hate you for bringing me here.
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Me, I get, but that sloth is pretty cute.
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It's not just the sloth.
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Polar bears nurse their cubs
for almost eight months.
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The orangutan mother builds her baby
a new home every night,
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and what do I do?
I choose my career over my child!
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Told you we should've gone to LEGOLAND®.
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Can't believe Bert has a girlfriend
and I don't.
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I thought you were taking a break
from women to focus on your career.
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Oh, grow up!
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(KNOCK ON DOOR)
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Don't you have any friends he can date?
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I already set up Howard and Bernadette.
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It's your turn to
ruin some poor girl's life.
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- Hey, guys, come in.
- Thanks.
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Everyone, this is Rebecca.
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- Hi.
- ALL: Hi. Hello.
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She's younger
and far more attractive than he is.
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(LAUGHS) They're copying you two.
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What are you making?
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Chicken. Birds mess with my hair,
I come back hard.
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Finally get Halley down?
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Yeah, eventually.
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She's still not happy about
taking a bottle though.
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Look, if you're not ready
to go back to work,
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we'll figure something out.
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No, I'll be fine.
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It might be good for her.
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Howard's mother
was around him all the time,
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and he's a world-class mama's boy.
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I mean, why would you say that?
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Go ahead, have a tantrum,
that'll prove me wrong.
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It would be nice to raise Halley to be
a little more independent than you were.
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I guess.
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It wasn't until college that I learned
you can put a thermometer in your mouth.
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On that charming note, dinner is served.
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So, is this your first time
dating a scientist?
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'Cause I'm thinking of
starting a support group.
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Actually, I'm not new to this.
I was engaged to a Scientologist.
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Bert, Rebecca, I'd like to apologize
for my insensitive comment earlier.
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Don't worry about it, it's fine.
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See, it was fine, I didn't need a timeout.
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(CHUCKLING NERVOUSLY)
It wasn't a timeout. Let's get some food.
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But you made me sit on the stairs
and think about what I did...
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Get your food.
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- So how did you two meet?
- Yeah.
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Oh, it's such a cute story.
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We met on a dating website.
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Is that it?
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Oh, sorry. "The end."
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That's nice. I haven't had much success
meeting people online.
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I didn't either,
until I revamped my profile.
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What did you do, delete your photo?
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- Go.
- Fine.
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And don't you slam that door.
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Oh, man.
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Did I say something wrong?
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No, it's always him.
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So, Bert, you were telling us
how you updated your profile.
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Right, I wasn't getting any responses.
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And then I added,
"Recent $625,000 MacArthur Grant winner,"
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and five minutes later,
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- I met my soulmate.
- (BOTH CHUCKLE)
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I was wrong, you can come back in.
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So, Rebecca,
how did you become a personal trainer?
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I came to Los Angeles to be an actress
and things didn't really work out.
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I'd say she's copying you again, but...
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I'm getting tired of sitting in the hall.
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I'd love a personal trainer.
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I haven't seen my abs since they opened
a Shake Shack on my drive home.
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I could give you some free sessions.
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Oh, is that offer for everybody?
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(CHUCKLES) Nice try, I'm not going.
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- Where's your bathroom?
- Just down there.
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She's so perfect,
sometimes I think she isn't real.
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And then she goes to the bathroom
and I know she is.
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Aw. That's so weird.
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I'm sorry, Bert, but aren't you worried
she's only with you for your money?
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She better be.
182
00:11:02,520 --> 00:11:05,251
On our first date,
I bought her an 80-inch flat screen.
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00:11:07,040 --> 00:11:10,726
Your first date? What...
Did you even measure her walls?
184
00:11:16,920 --> 00:11:20,766
Yeah, on our first date,
Leonard used a coupon to buy me a pretzel.
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And we lived happily ever after.
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The end.
187
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- Well, I guess I'm ready to go.
- Have a great first day back.
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You have everything she needs
for day care?
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Yep, all in the bag.
190
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Okay.
191
00:11:39,000 --> 00:11:42,447
Okay, sweetie, Mommy's going to go
to work now, so you have fun today.
192
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I told her if day care's
anything like prison,
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find the biggest baby and knock 'em out.
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00:11:49,280 --> 00:11:51,965
Bye, cutie. I'm gonna miss you.
195
00:11:52,960 --> 00:11:56,407
(VOICE BREAKING) But I'll be waiting
right here tonight when you get home.
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Stop, you're gonna make me cry.
197
00:12:01,800 --> 00:12:03,564
Great, now everybody's crying.
198
00:12:04,960 --> 00:12:06,485
At least Hailey's not.
199
00:12:06,640 --> 00:12:07,801
That's good.
200
00:12:08,440 --> 00:12:11,046
She's not gonna see us all day
and she doesn't even care!
201
00:12:14,400 --> 00:12:16,004
- Who's ready to laugh?
- (WHINES)
202
00:12:16,640 --> 00:12:17,971
Okay. So,
203
00:12:18,240 --> 00:12:21,642
Feynman, Einstein and Schrédinger
walk into a bar.
204
00:12:21,920 --> 00:12:25,242
Feynman says,
"It appears we're inside a joke."
205
00:12:25,400 --> 00:12:30,042
Einstein replies, "But only to an observer
who saw us walk in simultaneously."
206
00:12:30,280 --> 00:12:34,569
To which Schrodinger says, "if someone
is looking in the window, I'm leaving."
207
00:12:38,520 --> 00:12:39,885
(CHUCKLES) That's actually funny.
208
00:12:41,680 --> 00:12:44,081
(LAUGHS)
You should send that to Jimmy Fallon.
209
00:12:46,200 --> 00:12:47,247
- Hey.
- Hello.
210
00:12:47,400 --> 00:12:49,129
- Hey, Bert. Yeah.
- Join us.
211
00:12:49,280 --> 00:12:51,521
Hey, sorry if last night was awkward.
212
00:12:51,680 --> 00:12:55,571
Actually, it got me thinking that
I shouldn't flaunt my money to find love.
213
00:12:55,800 --> 00:12:57,370
I might break up with Rebecca.
214
00:12:57,920 --> 00:12:59,046
Wow, that's a big step.
215
00:12:59,200 --> 00:13:01,043
I think it shows a lot of character.
216
00:13:01,440 --> 00:13:05,525
I'm gonna hold out and see if I can find a
hot young blonde who likes me for me.
217
00:13:05,840 --> 00:13:07,808
(LAUGHS) Good one.
218
00:13:12,680 --> 00:13:14,080
Okay now, Leonard, you tell a joke.
219
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:21,244
- BERNADETTE: How's she doing?
- She's great. Here, look.
220
00:13:22,320 --> 00:13:25,130
I see a wall, the floor,
221
00:13:25,560 --> 00:13:26,800
some Asian baby.
222
00:13:27,800 --> 00:13:29,131
There she is.
223
00:13:29,440 --> 00:13:31,408
See? Nothing to worry about.
224
00:13:31,600 --> 00:13:34,206
Thank you. Okay, I'm gonna try
and get some work done.
225
00:13:34,520 --> 00:13:36,602
Yeah, me too. I love you.
226
00:13:36,920 --> 00:13:38,251
Love you too, bye.
227
00:13:38,480 --> 00:13:39,481
(PHONE BEEPS)
228
00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:47,240
- STUART: How is she?
- (YELLS)
229
00:13:51,720 --> 00:13:52,960
What are you doing here?
230
00:13:53,280 --> 00:13:55,681
Can't a guy hang out at a college
he doesn't go to
231
00:13:55,840 --> 00:13:57,240
and stare at a baby that isn't his?
232
00:13:59,680 --> 00:14:03,651
I get it,
I haven't even made it to my office yet.
233
00:14:04,440 --> 00:14:05,566
(CHUCKUNG)
234
00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:12,764
Is it weird if we just stand here
and watch her all day?
235
00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:14,321
Probably.
236
00:14:17,720 --> 00:14:18,926
We should go.
237
00:14:19,160 --> 00:14:20,207
Yeah.
238
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:22,125
(EXHALES)
239
00:14:22,600 --> 00:14:24,887
Or we could take her to the aquarium.
240
00:14:25,120 --> 00:14:26,963
I'll get her, you grab her bag.
241
00:14:27,560 --> 00:14:30,962
Hang on, Halley,
we're busting you out of there!
242
00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:34,440
What are you looking at?
243
00:14:34,760 --> 00:14:37,286
Comments from our
Behind the Flags Retrospective.
244
00:14:37,480 --> 00:14:40,643
Get this, people are calling it,
"The longest one yet."
245
00:14:43,520 --> 00:14:45,682
- (KNOCK ON DOOR)
- BERT: Hello? Anybody home?
246
00:14:45,840 --> 00:14:46,887
Is that Bert?
247
00:14:47,040 --> 00:14:48,087
It's Bert.
248
00:14:48,280 --> 00:14:49,691
I think it's Bert.
249
00:14:51,520 --> 00:14:52,806
Hey, what's up?
250
00:14:53,400 --> 00:14:55,129
I broke up with Rebecca.
251
00:14:55,760 --> 00:14:57,728
- Oh.
- Oh... Well, good for you.
252
00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:00,282
No. I miss her.
253
00:15:00,520 --> 00:15:02,124
I don't know why I listened to you.
254
00:15:03,280 --> 00:15:05,009
He's not wrong.
255
00:15:06,320 --> 00:15:08,971
It was your crackpot idea
that he deserves love.
256
00:15:11,360 --> 00:15:13,840
You know, you need to start
raising your hand before you speak.
257
00:15:16,400 --> 00:15:17,686
Yes, starting now.
258
00:15:19,560 --> 00:15:21,280
Bert, you're a good guy,
you deserve a woman
259
00:15:21,360 --> 00:15:23,160
who's interested in
more than just your money.
260
00:15:23,320 --> 00:15:26,369
She was also interested in walking
around my house in her underwear.
261
00:15:26,520 --> 00:15:28,363
Now the only one doing that is me.
262
00:15:32,240 --> 00:15:34,322
If you're that upset, go get her back.
263
00:15:34,880 --> 00:15:37,929
I tried, she's not answering my calls.
264
00:15:38,200 --> 00:15:40,726
Which really hurts
because I bought her that phone.
265
00:15:43,120 --> 00:15:44,804
I made a huge mistake.
266
00:15:45,040 --> 00:15:46,769
No, you didn't, okay?
267
00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:49,122
Look, Bert, when I had money,
268
00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,120
I dated lots of girls
who weren't right for me.
269
00:15:51,240 --> 00:15:53,322
And then I gave up my money,
and now I'm alone
270
00:15:53,480 --> 00:15:57,201
and living with my friends and somebody
else should probably talk now.
271
00:16:00,200 --> 00:16:03,363
Look, sweetie,
relationships aren't about money, okay?
272
00:16:03,560 --> 00:16:06,530
It's about respect
and having things in common and...
273
00:16:07,400 --> 00:16:08,526
Yes, Sheldon?
274
00:16:08,680 --> 00:16:11,889
You and Leonard don't have anything
in common, maybe you should break up.
275
00:16:14,400 --> 00:16:15,640
You called on him.
276
00:16:19,920 --> 00:16:22,685
Guess who's home from day care?
277
00:16:24,560 --> 00:16:29,043
It's Halley! Unless somebody else put
an "X" on the bottom of their kid's foot.
278
00:16:30,480 --> 00:16:32,403
You realize they called when you took her.
279
00:16:35,520 --> 00:16:38,364
Guess who's home from the aquarium?
280
00:16:42,480 --> 00:16:43,970
Sorry again for barging in.
281
00:16:44,120 --> 00:16:46,096
You don't have to go,
you're welcome to hang with us.
282
00:16:46,120 --> 00:16:48,930
But, actually, our friendship group
is at capacity.
283
00:16:49,080 --> 00:16:52,243
But if anybody drops out,
you are at the top of the list.
284
00:16:54,080 --> 00:16:58,688
Well, unless it's Raj, in which case
we'll probably get a person of color.
285
00:17:01,960 --> 00:17:04,770
You guys are nice,
but I'm just gonna buy Rebecca a jet ski
286
00:17:04,960 --> 00:17:06,724
and see if that gets her back.
287
00:17:08,680 --> 00:17:10,444
- (DOOR SHUTS)
- I feel bad for Bert.
288
00:17:11,120 --> 00:17:13,282
Well, so he's using his money
to attract a mate.
289
00:17:13,600 --> 00:17:16,410
Is that any different than me using
my intelligence to attract Amy?
290
00:17:16,560 --> 00:17:19,803
Or Leonard using his power of groveling
to get Penny?
291
00:17:21,640 --> 00:17:22,971
It's totally different.
292
00:17:23,120 --> 00:17:27,045
Bert's money might run out,
but I can beg until the end of time.
293
00:17:28,720 --> 00:17:31,564
All that and he's shorter than me.
294
00:17:34,840 --> 00:17:37,889
Sheldon, what did Amy have
that attracted you?
295
00:17:38,480 --> 00:17:39,641
So many things.
296
00:17:39,800 --> 00:17:44,328
Her mind, her kindness,
and especially her body.
297
00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,161
Really?
298
00:17:46,400 --> 00:17:49,927
Relax, we're the same blood type.
He knew he could harvest an organ.
299
00:18:01,320 --> 00:18:02,731
She does look happy.
300
00:18:03,280 --> 00:18:06,887
See, this is the right thing for her.
Let's all just go to work.
301
00:18:13,880 --> 00:18:15,325
Any time.
302
00:18:17,200 --> 00:18:18,690
Let me just say goodbye.
303
00:18:20,080 --> 00:18:22,606
Halley, look at Mommy.
304
00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:25,765
Over here, honey.
305
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,042
Say goodbye to Mommy.
306
00:18:30,880 --> 00:18:33,360
Look at me. Look at your mother!
307
00:18:34,520 --> 00:18:36,568
(BABIES START CRYING)
308
00:18:37,320 --> 00:18:38,651
Right, we can go.
309
00:18:42,720 --> 00:18:45,041
Hello. I'm Dr. Sheldon Cooper.
310
00:18:45,360 --> 00:18:47,044
And I'm Dr. Amy Farrah Fowler.
311
00:18:47,360 --> 00:18:51,251
Based on the glowing reception of our
recent Behind the Flags Retrospective,
312
00:18:51,480 --> 00:18:54,051
we thought you might like to see
how it all came together.
313
00:18:54,400 --> 00:18:56,562
So welcome to tonight's episode...
314
00:18:58,040 --> 00:19:01,010
"Fun with Flags,
Behind the Behind the Flags.
315
00:19:01,200 --> 00:19:03,202
"A Retrospective Retrospective."
316
00:19:05,520 --> 00:19:07,761
- Oh, we already have our first call.
- Oh!
317
00:19:08,960 --> 00:19:11,167
Hello, you're on Fun with Flags.
318
00:19:12,000 --> 00:19:13,923
BERT". The jet ski worked, I got her back.
319
00:19:43,600 --> 00:19:44,601
English - SDH