Original subtitles

Jakarta is flooding

There's a raging wind in Bogor

My house is on fire

Because the stove exploded

I get up and go back to bed

I sleep all the time

Even though my house is on fire

Thanks to the exploding stove

Hey, get up!

Be careful of the stove

Why put on such a long face?

Why are you so quiet?

I am your friend

Not your enemy

My house is on fire

Thanks to the exploding stove

Hey, get up!

Be careful of the stove

Hey, guys! Who ordered Mama Pizza?

That's mine.

- Why is it so small? - I don't know.

Why did you only bring me two boxes?

You wanna fight?

- No. - With this guy?

- No. - Because I'm scared of you.

Me too.

That's enough.

Don't worry,

I'll bring them home.

In time, we will all have to come home.

Lunatic.

Hey, come here.

- Are you talking to me? - Yes, you. Come here.

- What do you want? - Give me your money.

How much?

- Twenty thousand. - Come on.

My allowance is only 10,000.

Fine, give it to me!

You're too late, sir. You should have asked for it this morning,

when I still had it.

I only have 2,000 left.

Fine, give it to me!

Here's the thing, though.

I live far from here,

about four blocks away.

I have to take two buses to get home. Each ride costs me 2,500 rupiahs.

So I need double that amount.

- How much? - Five thousand.

- Do you have it? - I think so.

Give it to me

- and I'll give the rest of my allowance. - Okay.

Thanks, sir.

This is not bad for head lice.

Do you have lice?

- How much is this? - Two thousand. Take it.

Hey.

Someone extorted me, but I made a profit.

- Where? - The big guy over there.

Come on, let's go!

Hey, big brother. Please extort us.

Like you extorted money from our friend.

I'd like 10,000 rupiahs, please. Wait, brother.

Bang Jali

He loves to move his body

Bang Jali

Won't you share your tips with me

- Brother. - Hey.

Your dancer is not bad.

Isn't he great?

I want to take him home.

Find someone else.

He's mine.

Is this real money?

Don't touch my money!

You might be tempted to steal it from me.

Don't even try. What about you?

- Do you have any money? - You know I don't have a stable income.

The bitter truth of a street fighter's life.

Full of violence.

I took a lot of hits today

from the kids.

I have five buckets worth of cash.

- Large buckets. - Let me see.

Not now. I don't have it on me yet.

We need to rob a bank first.

Really, I want to rob a bank.

- Are you in? - Wow.

It sounds exciting.

I'm really good at robbing and stealing.

Without a professional like me, your plan would be screwed.

I'm definitely in for this job.

So which bank do we want to rob?

What if we rob Bank INI?

Don't rob Bank INI. It belongs to my neighbor.

How about if rob Bank ITU?

Too many security guards at Bank ITU.

How about if we rob Bank SITU?

Too many ghosts at Bank SITU.

How about if we rob Bank INI?

But you said it belongs to your neighbor?

Well, he's an arrogant neighbor. Never says hi to me.

- I think it's okay to rob him. - Okay then.

- We have a deal to rob Bank INI? - Deal. So it's settled. Fine.

What are you doing with a bicycle gear?

We're not going to fight students.

Why would you bring that thing with you?

That's embarrassing.

You're acting like students.

You think a metal detector won't catch your gear?

You know there's metal detectors to get inside the bank, don't you?

Hey, listen up!

We never had so much money in our life.

We can go into shock and faint having so much money.

They will take us to the ER with no happy ending.

- There are steps for everything. - Yes.

Step by step... and you'll get hurt.

- Here it is. - What is it?

Here's one for you.

And for you.

And here.

Hide them now.

- Can I bring this, too? - Leave that.

- No need, we got a gun. - Throw it away.

What is this?

Did you steal it? Throw it away!

Let's go.

Everyone stay on the ground!

Do not move!

Take out your wallets and cell phones!

Hurry!

Put it all in the bag! Hurry up! Quickly!

Here. Everybody down!

Don't be afraid, ma'am.

Everything's going to be okay.

What the hell?

You're a useless fatso!

You don't even have big balls!

- But my balls are big, you know. - Show me! Fatso!

Hey!

What the hell are you doing?

Come on, dance with me, sir!

What the hell? You wanna die?

Don't shoot. I'm just the entertainer.

What show?

I swear I'm an entertainer.

All I do is dance.

Stop dancing! Do you think you're on some corny TV show?

- Get down! Or I'll kill you! - Don't hurt me.

Get down!

That's more like it.

What's taking you so long?

Why is this one still on her feet?

Hey, get down!

But you told me not to move, so I didn't move.

Do you want to die?

- I'll shoot you in the head. - Wait.

What are you doing?

Don't threaten a beautiful girl like this.

You need to aim your shot until you reach a climax.

I don't get it.

You talk like you're such a playboy.

I'm sure you can't even keep it up for long.

Hey, asshole. You trying to piss me off? You want me to take a shot at you?

- Go on and do it then. - Can you do it?

Hey!

Remember! There are three things that can divide us.

Money, power and women.

So, chill out.

Focus on our work.

Everybody get down!

Someone left their phone.

I wonder who it belongs to.

Why would anyone leave their phone?

Everybody get down!

Hey!

Hey! How dare you rob this bank?

Come on and fight me. Come on!

See? He's using a bicycle gear. You didn't believe me.

How dare you?

Come on!

Do I think you're afraid of me?

Back off!

I come to you or you come to me?

Come on. Try and kill me.

How dare you? Come on!

What are you doing?

Did I tell you to lay like that? Face down, now! Like a komodo!

Please have mercy on me.

Where's the security guard?

I don't want to die.

Get ready.

I'll give you a code, you attack them while I steal their money.

I will go around the back and we'll have them surrounded.

- Okay? - Okay.

Hey, Camel. Get on your computer now and hack the safe.

Why are you being a racist?

- Because I'm an Arab? - You want me to use your real name

so everyone knows our names?

Do your job. You're a camel,

he's blackie and I'm a superstar. Go on, now.

That's not right. How come you get the great nickname?

If I'm blackie, you're slanty-eyes.

He's right. You're slanty-eyed.

Whatever.

Just hack the damn safe already.

Ri!

Stop it!

It's too quiet here.

I get lonely and bored.

But why waste all our bullets?

Don't be so stingy with the bullets.

I have to.

- Who bought those bullets anyway? - Tell me.

We all chipped in.

What is the purpose of life?

Stop talking about the purpose of life.

No, listen to me.

I read somewhere that in life we need to be happy.

I've never been happy living the life of a criminal.

Then what do you suppose we have to do?

Maybe we should quit this job

and get a decent one.

What, you think it's easy to find a decent job?

- What kind of job will you get? - Whatever.

You tell me!

You're good with knives, you want to circumcise people?

If it's a decent and legal job, I don't mind.

Can you recite the prayer?

What kind of prayer?

People even pray before they eat, so they have to pray before they cut...

Listen.

Don't think about the work we do.

Are you listening to me?

You were born a criminal. Accept it.

Okay, my man!

Hi!

Here's your lunch.

Go and play with your friends. I'll wait here.

You don't have to stay, Mom.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

Seriously, you can leave.

I think I should stay.

No, it's okay, Mom. I can take care of myself.

Besides, my friends will take me home. You can go now.

What time will you be done?

Shall I pick you up?

No, you don't have to do that.

Just go home.

- The boys will take me home later. - All right.

Remember, don't squat on the toilet seat.

And never do drugs.

Wow. You're really annoying.

Don't you ever talk back to your mom!

You wanna be an insubordinate kid?

You wanna be a stone?

No. I'm sorry.

Fine. Eat your lunch and finish it.

- I will. - Kiss my hand.

Hey!

What are you doing?

Leave now.

Bye.

- Be careful. - I'm leaving.

- Peace be upon you. - Upon you too.

I can't believe she gave me this.

Hey, what are you doing?

This is your mother's hard work.

Is this your gratitude? You wanna be a stone?

Maybe he hates the lunch box.

He prefers a Hello Kitty.

Keep talking like I'm not here.

I will shoot your heads. You want that?

We're just joking.

Kemal! Why did you throw away your lunch?

I didn't.

I dropped it.

Let's go.

Kemal, where are you taking us?

You ask too many questions.

I have a meeting to go to.

Don't you act like a big shot!

You're just a curly gangster.

Hurry up, it's quite heavy.

Stop asking questions, just trust me.

If I didn't trust you, I wouldn't be here.

Tell us.

Yes, tell us now, before your lunch goes bad.

The two of you talk too much.

Fine, come here. Hurry.

Here.

Now, both of you look at what's behind me.

Hurry.

Damn it.

I told you not to gawk at it.

It's dangerous. We could die.

You told us to look.

Yes, but do it subtly.

Let's try again. This time, pretend like you're chatting or laughing.

Come on.

Stop.

That's enough. You were awful.

You should both take acting lessons.

What's really going on here?

So, here's the thing.

In that house,

lives the most dangerous drug kingpin in Tanjung Priok.

This place is on the rise.

- What rice? - Stop joking or I'll shoot you.

How do you know about this place?

I know a guy on the inside.

I always buy my stash from him.

He told me there's a lot of cash inside and we should steal it.

Wait.

So you buy drugs from that guy?

Well, that's the problem.

- I can only get my drugs from him. - Why is that?

When I try to buy from another dealer, they always say,

"Hey, Arab, you have no sins!

Get out!" Like that.

But not all Arabs are clean and saint-like.

Take me, for example! I'm so dirty, I can't imagine being clean.

I even eat cannabis leaves with rice, as a meal.

- Awesome, you're into vegetables. - Yeah, organic vegetables, too.

So cool.

That's why I want to be a criminal.

You want to be a criminal and he wants to quit being one.

You should marry each other!

Marry him? What for?

I'd rather marry his mother.

Go on. Keep talking about my mother!

I'll kill you right here and now. Seriously.

- Try and shoot me. - Fine.

Hey!

Do you still want to work?

- What do you think? - Tell me!

- I want to work. - Me too.

Then let's get to it.

See? They're all dead.

One, two, three.

That's it?

We wasted all our bullets on three people?

It felt like much more than three.

Yes, it felt like way more.

At this rate, we'll be losing more than we gain. What are you doing?

This is a robbery, not some sleazy shop in Mangga Dua.

Shut up. You're out of bullets.

Go and find yourself some other gun.

Wow, a Magnum!

This is the perfect weapon for me.

Arab men are known to have big guns.

I can't wait any longer. Let's go find the boss man.

Fine. Let's go.

Let's go.

This way!

He told us to go in, right?

Let's go.

This is a really fancy house.

In Arabia, it would be considered a great sin to waste money like this.

Oh, my God.

Let's just sit.

Ask him!

So, we're here...

So we're here because...

- Sit tight! - Let me go!

So...

Are you...

done playing with guns?

Of course not.

Why did you shoot him?

He asked me if I was done playing guns

and I wasn't.

But he's the only person who can lead us to the money.

God forgive me!

- I totally forgot. - See what you did?

Get up. We'll find it.

Come on, leave it. We search the house.

God forgive me!

I can't believe you killed him

before we could get him to show us where he kept the money.

It's no use apologizing.

Look, if we can't find the money, it's fine.

I think I know how we can find even more money.

Listen here. One robbery.

Bank INI. We'll be very, very rich.

Here's the same plan for the robbery.

Look here. The whole robbery plan is set.

Complete with the strategy.

We've hit the motherload.

Let's rob it.

We can get more money this way.

I can open my own restaurant.

I agree.

I can go Umrah.

- Perfect. - What do you think?

Great. Take the plan.

Saudi Arabia, here I come!

Now, here's my spot.

Honey, I'll get you open soon.

Time to get to work.

Not bad. I can use the money to pay my bills.

And go on with my spiritual trip. Here we go.

Okay.

Don't do it.

It's an alarm.

- Hey. - It's an alarm.

Don't. You want to die?

It's safe. It's okay.

You want me to shoot you?

Don't do it.

Are you a cop?

Are you a cop?

- What? - Are you a cop?

What did you say?

You're cool.

- What? - You're a deaf cop!

You're handsome.

Check, check. Excuse me. Good morning, ladies and gentlemen.

Please allow me to sing you a song.

Hey, old man. I'm sorry.

I forgive you.

My name is Mbah Kusno and my age is 63,2 FM.

I want to give you a song because I can't give you rice.

It's too expensive.

Cool. We don't wanna be rude, but your timing is wrong.

- Look! - I can sing you a great song.

Who's your favorite band Bon Jovi? Metallica? Air Supply?

He's right. We can listen to one song for fun.

It's boring here.

Okay? What would you like to hear?

Bon Jovi!

- I can't sing his songs. - Metallica.

If I can't sing Bon Jovi's songs, you think I can sing Metallica's?

Hurry up, old man.

I'll sing you an international Indonesian song.

Ready? Let's hear it!

I've heard this one.

- What do you mean? It's not a song. - Enough, old man.

Enough.

Don't be like that.

Give him a chance.

- This is a good kid. - Can't you give him one chance?

Whatever.

What's with all the noise?

They're disturbing me.

You're a good kid.

You will lead the nation one day.

Not like that kid there.

He should know not to yell at an old man.

One day when he goes to hell, he'll know what real pain is like.

- I've had it with you. - Relax.

Why do you have to be so rough with me?

He's an old man.

Respect him. Hey, what's going on?

Hey! What are you doing here with a gun?

Guys, we have a cop. I'll kill him.

- Which cop? - Hey, who the hell are you?

Who wants to know?

Drop the gun. You better drop that gun! Or else I'll shoot your chubby face!

We should have done this like in the movies.

You're a cop? Shoot me. Make a scene.

Hey, idiot. They're not. Cops don't wear masks.

Everyone calm down.

Help is on the way.

I already hit the alarm button.

Who said I was a cop?

I told you not to press that button.

- I'm going to kill you! - Don't do it!

Are you using a spray gun?

The water tastes salty.

Can I ask for some of your water?

It's dirty.

It's okay. Don't worry about it.

So this isn't a real gun.

Might as well be. I'm thirsty.

It's spicy.

Ta-da!

Hello, I'm so cute and tiny.

Take a picture with me?

Come on. Don't be shy.

POLICE

Where are they?

Speak Indonesian, please!

Don't move! You're all surrounded.

JOE TARLING POLICE CHIEF

- Yes. - We've surrounded the bank, sir!

Permission to attack.

The robbers are on target

and all the hostages are safe on the ground.

Go get them!

Yes, sir!

Thanks, love.

There's a lot of money here.

Not bad.

Don't move!

Fire!

Fire!

TO SERVE AND PROTECT

Arie, the weapons!

Now you're dead!

- Catch them! - Thank you!

Finish them!

Again!

Whose phone is ringing?

I told you to turn off your phones!

Whose phone is ringing? Turn it off!

Where is it coming from?

Perhaps from the painting.

- What painting? - Over there.

- That's a banner. - Right, behind the banner.

Hey!

Come out and show yourself!

Sorry. I didn't mean it.

Come here.

- Front and center. - I'm sorry.

I didn't mean to disturb you. Wait. You're the comedian, right?

- Indro? - Yes.

It is you! Oh, my God.

I'm so happy to see you.

What an honor for me to see you here.

Your movies are very popular in Eastern Indonesia.

They're the best.

We remember you from our childhood.

See, now you're making me cry.

He's a celebrity?

- This is Indro. - A comedian?

- A famous comedian. - I see.

- You don't know him? - Fine.

Okay, let's do this. Tell him to tell a joke.

I'll count to ten. If it's not funny, shoot him! Okay?

Wait. Why shoot him?

If you shoot him, I'll blow your head off!

Why are you aiming it at me?

You were going to shoot my idol. Drop the gun.

Nobody's going to shoot anybody.

Just relax.

Look out there! The cops have surrounded you.

They're different. Not like the old days when you acted in Chips.

That was cool.

Now the police are lame,

contaminated by K-pop culture.

But one of your movie by the title Chips was great. It had a good story, original.

Yes, that was my idea.

It's a very original idea.

We also love Chips.

What I love about your group is the solidarity and unity among members.

That's why your group remained solid.

That's the key.

To stay solid.

To unite.

All I know is that for a group

to succeed, you need to work as a team.

And help each other out.

Why don't you set up a council, MPR?

What kind of council?

A special council to take charge of the governing of...

Thieves?

Exactly.

Or a group of representatives, DPR?

Yes, that also works.

Representative council of thieves.

So cool!

That way, we can share everything.

No need to shoot anybody.

I agree with the comedian.

He's right. Rather than killing, we become representatives.

But we have to be united.

If anyone asks, I'm the leader.

Wait! Why are you the leader?

You're getting on my nerves.

You make me the leader or I'll blow myself up.

What do you say?

Stove's too hot.

Hey, Arab.

You're not a terrorist.

It's just a conspiracy. We want to rob a bank!

It's not political diversion!

Or would you rather blow yourself up to pieces?

Excuse me. Sorry.

Facts have shown that a robbery done in the spirit of togetherness

tends to work miracles for the robbers.

So, let's not play with fire.

Let's keep the bombs under wraps.

Yes, please, button your jacket!

Honey!

We're running out of ammo.

Here, I'm returning the money.

Let's split it up evenly.

There.

Good stove.

We're willing to share if you're willing to work with us.

Besides, we'll make your group stronger.

He's got a point.

Get up. Hurry!

Get back. All of you. Or I'll kill the hostages.

You want to see a fresh corpse? If so, come forward.

Come on.

Come forward. I dare you.

I have plenty of hostages.

Back off! Whoa. Wait. Why are you taking your clothes off?

Oh, my God.

Damn, I have to take a full shower again.

What's wrong with him?

You know.

Premature ejaculation.

Sorry, I have a psychological problem.

I tend to take my clothes off when I panic.

- Sorry. - Put your clothes on now!

- It's okay. I got you. - I'm so embarrassed.

What's going on?

It's all right. I got you.

Go over there.

Please don't do anything foolish!

I need a guarantee that all hostages

are alive and well.

All hostages are fine!

That was just a warning!

Don't mess with me!

Come on. All of you, come with me.

Edi, watch here.

Are you the leader?

I am a member of the Council.

Council of what?

Representative Council of Thieves.

Fine. My name is Bunga. I am with the police.

I'm calling you from the caravan

parked right in front of Bank INI, at twelve o'clock.

Twelve o'clock.

Okay.

And we're watching your every move.

Yes, put her on speaker.

So we can hear the conversation.

Good.

The rules are pretty standard.

All hostages won't be hurt

as long as you do what we say.

My order is to keep all hostages safe. That's the most important thing.

Good, so we don't need to negotiate.

All hostages are safe.

We need you to give us what we want.

Deal. What do you want?

I'd like...

Let me go first.

Listen carefully, Captain.

I'd like the nation's capital to be moved to Papua.

Because the panoramic views are wonderful in Papua.

The air is clean, unlike Jakarta.

It's too crowded here.

Traffic jams! Too much pollution.

The rivers are dirty,

full of dead cats.

So I request that the capital be moved to Papua.

- Move the capital to Papua. - Shut up.

I don't want much.

I just want a front-row seat ticket to watch a girl band concert.

That's all.

Ask her for some kurma, too.

Damn right. And some kurma, please.

- The whole plantation if you will. - Good job.

Me, I'd like for you to free the country of adultery,

sin and gambling.

Damn it.

Let me talk.

Hello, Captain. I'd like someone to love,

someone who can make me feel great.

Step aside. My turn.

Finish the monorail.

The project causes terrible traffic and the city not flooded anymore.

So my poor mother won't have to save her bed every day.

I won't ask for much.

I just want your BlackBerry pin number. Can I have it?

But don't forget to follow me back if I invite you.

I'd like some pizza. The hostages are also pretty hungry.

With some cheese and beef toppings.

Enough. Captain, we want one minibus

parked in front of the door with a full tank.

- Deliver the pizza quickly. - Two, please.

- A lot of pizza, please. - Fine.

We'll see what we can do...

with your demands...

Look, to show us your good intentions...

we ask you to release some hostages

while we process your demands.

- Hostages? - Guys.

Excuse me.

As someone who has a lot of life experience,

I want to tell you

that it's important to show your goodwill to others.

You have too many hostages here, anyway.

Especially that one, who keeps taking her clothes off.

It also makes your friend go to the bathroom.

Am I right?

Moreover, I have to be at a film location at 4:00.

So I think you can spare at least one hostage. Right?

Perhaps two or three.

- I'd like to go with you, sir. - Hey, shut up!

I agree with Indro.

We should release him.

He's the last surviving member of Warkop DKI.

We should preserve him.

They think I'm an extinct species?

Let's release him.

So he can continue the good work of inspiring the nation.

He's seen our faces.

It's okay.

Even so, he's the kind of man

who knows how hold to his promises.

I'll hold it with two of my own hands.

Fine.

For the sake of Indonesian comedy.

"Laugh your heart away."

- Come back here after the shoot. - Of course.

I'll come straight back.

- Ask someone to pick me up. - Sure.

- All right, go. - You too.

Your psychological issue distracts my teammates. Get out now.

How about that old woman?

Can we let her go?

I feel bad for her.

Fine.

Now.

What's going on here?

You want to trick me so I'll let you go, too?

You want to die? Get naked, and I'll send you in a coffin.

Get dressed!

Sit down!

Get dressed, all of you.

Face the wall!

Relax.

Everything is under control.

Relax. Okay?

What does he think he's doing?

And I finally fall in love with you

I finally falling in love for you

Come here.

Stay here with me.

I'll keep you safe. Okay?

Open the door!

Ta-da!

Ta-da!

Red represents crime.

Blue represents the wild ocean.

If you mix the two colors, you end up with purple.

And the color purple signifies a widow,

a deep, meaningful crime.

Who dares mess with such a purple widow man?

- He's cute. - Finish him, boss!

Great body.

I'll show you what it's like to fight the leader of our group of Purple Axes!

Here, boss. Use mine.

Here!

I'm not afraid.

You die!

Are you proud of your position as a leader?

You should know your rank and position is just an illusion...

which blinds your heart

and renders your life meaningless.

Master!

This guy is our new master.

What just happened?

Gather all your stolen items.

Everybody, gather all the stolen items!

Quickly! Everything!

- Is this everything? - Yes, boss.

Master. Please forgive us.

Now you may leave.

Listen, from now on, we will be good people.

Come on, let's go!

How long have you been sucking on that bullet?

Half an hour.

I MISS YOU MOM ORPHANAGE

Oh, my God.

I'd love to give them more money.

I feel bad for them.

May the prayer of a lost soul be realized. Amen.

I have an idea.

What if we rob a bank?

- What do you think? - No.

Why?

We may be better off robbing the bank robbers!

Agreed?

We're like a duet.

Robin Hood and Si Pitung.

We steal for the sake of the lost children

who live in orphanages.

We're thieves.

But we steal from other thieves.

I love the way you think.

But don't you feel bad

about giving the money away to orphanages?

It's hot money.

They all might get burned by it.

Just eat, stop talking.

You think the money here is legal?

Who are the real thieves?

Us, who take away small change at the bank

or corruptors who are still roaming the earth?

More than 200 million people in Indonesia

There are Padangese

There are Javanese

Javanese, Javanese, Javanese

You make fun of me because I'm Javanese?

You keep repeating the word "Javanese."

But Javanese is the key.

That's true.

- Sing another song. - Okay.

I used to like you...

Now I don't want to...

There are Padangese

There are Sundanese

Sundanese, Sundanese, Sundanese

Where's the Javanese?

I said it before.

But be fair! Sundanese, Javanese, what about the others?

What about Manado?

- Can we try Manado? - Let's give it a try.

There are Sundanese, Manado

It's not good.

There's Mana... do

- The rhythm doesn't sync. - Try again.

One more time.

There are Javanase, Ma... nado

Still falls flat.

Just finish it. I'm going to go.

I wanna go meet my boyfriend.

- Poor him. - I feel bad.

Ta-da!

Hi, may I know your name?

My name's Mongol.

My friends usually call me Mungil.

I brought you pizza.

I wanted to see if you're okay after I hit you.

I'm sorry.

Oh, come on. Play nice.

Kemal, hurry up.

Just enjoy it.

And I want to apologize for taking your stolen things.

Here's your pizza.

I brought it especially for you.

Take it, please.

You're insane.

Don't walk away from me.

Bastard, I'm going to take you out.

Really? Please do!

I want you to take me out! Please.

Are you really going to take him out?

Yeah. And then? Okay. Thanks.

Capt, come here, Capt.

What is it?

Pay careful attention to these pictures.

They all wear identical steel bracelets.

Wait, look at that one. What's that symbol?

Can you check it out?

LOVE SANE MENTAL HOSPITAL

That's the logo of a mental hospital.

There's a big possibility that they're all escaped patients.

But our headquarters have been calling up the hospital,

and the doctors are on their way here to meet us.

Mental hospital patients?

No wonder.

Why are you always the one to pick up the phone?

I'd like to do it, too.

Put it down.

- Call back. Someone wants to pick it up. - What? Hello?

Someone's calling us.

- Hello? - So what's the deal?

I still haven't received your BlackBerry pin number.

I don't use BlackBerry, I use WhatsApp.

Greetings.

Greetings.

Who's this?

My name's Fico. What's yours?

Yes, Fico.

There's someone here who wants to talk to you. Please hold.

Hello, Fico. This is Dr. Pandji.

Oh, Dr. Pandji.

How are you?

I'm well. And yourself?

I'm also well. Wait.

Who's Dr. Pandji?

Why are you talking to a doctor?

- Hello. - Yes, who's this?

Is this a doctor? Not the police?

Is this Bintang?

He knows my name.

Come on, tell your friends to come home.

Home where? Are you crazy?

Let's think about it. Who's really crazy here?

Who walked out of the mental hospital?

Out of where?

Do you think I'm crazy?

I wouldn't call you that.

I think you just need to get your head fixed.

Let's go home...

to Cinta Waras Mental Hospital.

- This guy's crazy. - Why?

He thinks we're all crazy.

He told us to go home to a mental hospital.

- He's crazy. - How's it possible?

Are you crazy?

He's nuts.

Time to take my medicine.

Let's get back to work.

So we're dealing with eight mental hospital patients?

It seems that way.

I've been looking for them all week.

They came into the hospital at around the same time,

several weeks ago.

And they all have a violent background.

How do we deal with people who have no logic?

GOD NEVER CREATES FAILURES

WE'RE ALWAYS OPEN FOR YOUR MENTAL HEALTH

DR. PANDJI - PSYCHIATRIST

Excuse me, Doctor.

Here are some files for...

And there's also a package...

- Leave it there. - Okay.

- I'll leave you to your work. - One more thing.

Order me some fried noodles.

- Boiled or... - Fried.

The water. Do you want boiled water, or...

- Yes. - Okay.

And add some eggs.

You want the soup separated, or...

I want fried noodles! Fried!

Okay.

Fried noodles?

I mean, honey.

Come to my room, please.

Bring Agung with you.

We'll have a meeting.

Okay.

Hey, the boss needs you.

I think we can execute plan for Bank INI.

This bank is what bank?

That's the name. Bank INI.

We can use these eight people as our assets.

Look at their history.

Most of them, if not all...

have had experience using firearms.

Gung.

Hey. Gung!

Start brainwashing them.

Okay, fine.

So what's our plan?

We'll split them into three groups...

and then we'll program their minds with our robbery strategy...

and we release them on D-Day.

Wait until...

Is it hot in here?

Then we wait for chaos. Okay?

Afterward, we'll reap our rewards.

You'll get in...

to ITU Bank as a teller. Okay?

Why suddenly change to Bank ITU? You said Bank INI earlier?

Yes, I mean, That Bank is This Bank...

Just wait for chaos, okay?

Wait for chaos.

Until they kill each other if it's needed.

Then you take the money.

Here's the bank's floor plan.

There's an old tunnel underneath...

and that's your way out.

Okay, you can get back to work now.

All right, fine.

Please order me an iced tea.

It's hot in here.

Here's your noodles

as ordered.

Excuse me.

I asked for fried noodles!

You are professional criminals.

You were born...

and trained

to be the best criminals in the country.

You are amateur criminals.

You have no skills.

You have no instincts.

You were born to be regular people.

You are the strangest criminals.

Normal is something that confuses you.

When you rob the bank,

be as violent as you can be

and act as though you've been doing this for years.

When you rob the bank, show your stupidity.

You are not solid.

You're full of doubts.

And sometimes you don't know what you're doing.

And when you rob the bank,

you will do it out of some idealism

because you are the strangest criminals

the world has ever seen.

Open and drink it.

Happy now? Are you done playing guns?

Are you done playing guns?

You don't believe me? Here.

Is this real money?

Is this real money?

Let's go, guys.

Let's play, guys.

So? Are they ready?

What do you think?

So? Are they ready?

They are. Agung says they're ready.

Okay. Let's go.

Keep watching them, Gung.

Mr. Lontong?

That must be your pseudonym right, sir?

I prefer arem-arem than Lontong. It has filling.

Lontong is empty.

Are you saying I'm empty?

And are you referring to my brain...

or my heart?

Because if you are referring to my heart...

then you have a point.

Don't be so sensitive, sir.

When you're this sensitive, you're just like Nikita's ass.

There's something I want to talk about.

I've already prepared everything for our Bank INI project.

We're ready to go.

We have the people.

We just need to process the whole thing and decide the date.

That's great.

Really. It's an awesome job.

- I'll send you the whole plan soon. - Sure.

Don't forget the downpayment.

To buy a lot of ammo.

Fine. Deal.

Great.

Hey! Come here!

Come with me! Quiet!

Easy, Mongol. It hurts.

I know!

Get up now. Hurry!

Hey. Quiet!

Hey, get up!

You're too slow!

Hey!

These hostages are our living fence!

If they die, it's on you!

What is it?

What the hell is this?

What are you doing?

Your time's up, Captain.

We will start killing the hostages. Where are our demands?

Your demands...

Look, just relax.

Don't act rashly.

Bullshit. You're too slow. What have you been doing?

Why haven't you moved the capital city to Papua?

Well, your request has to go through a process...

involving the President...

and his ministers.

Be patient, okay? We're taking care of it.

Even the ministers are holding a really important meeting

to talk about this matter.

You're a liar.

That wasn't my only request.

We have lots of demands. Where is it? Have you?

The monorail is already under construction...

and is in the finishing stages.

Some of the materials are on the way here from Gresik.

What are you talking about?

The monorail has failed.

Even the steel got stolen.

It's on Twitter. Kuningan is jammed. Don't lie!

- She lied to us? - Yes.

Hey, why did you lie to us?

Hold on.

You are pulling our legs?

You think we're kidding?

Just so you know,

the color of blood is red, General!

- What's her rank? General or Captain? - Captain.

The color of blood is red, Captain!

I'll start killing the hostages.

Stop talking now. We're going to finish them!

Damn you, Twitter!

Ladies and gentlemen.

We need a volunteer to be killed. Please come forward!

- Thank you for your participation. - I didn't do it.

He raised my hand.

Pick him up.

- You must be a thug! - Please, have mercy on me.

Okay, kill that one!

I'm still single, sir. A virgin.

That's your problem.

Why didn't you get married?

- Do it right away! - It's better than committing adultery!

I didn't like his face from the first.

- Shoot him. - Please don't!

You want to smoke?

- Can anyone give him a cigarette? - Shut up!

- What's this? - Use it.

- Stand there. - What's your plan?

Shut up!

Quiet!

Just step back lest you get blood all over you.

- Where should I go? - Stay there!

Hold on!

Our head is hot, our heart should be chill.

What's the problem? Everyone has a problem.

Some have financial problems, family problems, or love problems.

What's yours?

If it's a love problem...

I only have one problem.

- What is it? - You talk too much!

Please, let me say a last word.

No.

Why is it so hard to kill a person?

Stay still! I can't aim!

If I miss, I'd have to shoot you again.

Relax.

Can I hold this while you take a shot at me?

We're not taking a damn picture!

Stay still!

Are you ready?

One, two, three.

This can't happen again.

Find a way in! Try going in from underneath. Find something!

Or call a seer if you must!

Find a way into the bank now!

What?

Really?

Hey, guys.

I know the way out.

- Are you sure? - Yes. There's an exit at the back.

No, there isn't.

I've seen the floor plan.

Our only exit is the entrance, the front door.

Yes, there is. This is an old Dutch colonial building.

There's a secret tunnel all the way to the parking lot.

How do you know that?

Mickey says so.

Oh, dear. Put me down, please.

Relax. I'm here, baby.

Just follow the mouse.

Okay, let's go now.

Fine, I'll come.

And I'll watch your back.

Can I come with you?

Of course, honey.

Come with us.

Wait. Don't take her. What for?

- She'll slow us down. - Don't you need a hostage

to guarantee your safety?

She's right.

All right, take her.

Are you seriously going to listen to a mouse?

Let's just follow it. What if the mouse is right?

What if the cops see that the thieves are gone?

Please hand me my gun.

Remember.

If you move even slightly...

boom! You're all dead.

I'll wait until The Camel finishes hacking the safe.

The rest can go follow the mouse.

I'll stay by your side forever.

- Go now! - Let's go!

Hurry!

Kemal, take care of the safe.

We should go this way.

Straight ahead. Right?

Ask the mouse to be sure.

Is it fact or just gossip?

It is true, he goes this way all the time.

We can't go through here.

It's a dead end.

Hey, Mickey, which way should we go?

- Hurry up! - Relax. It'll be done in a minute.

- He's very sweet on you. - Shut up and just hurry!

He really is sweet on you.

The mouse tells us to destroy the wall.

How are we going to do that?

All I have to do is press "Enter" and we're done.

There, see? Done.

Where?

What's done?

- It's still locked. - Wait, what?

- It's simple. Let me do it. - Don't ruin it.

- Seriously, I can help. - Help with what?

Let's use this, guys.

Ouch!

What is that?

Let's follow the mouse.

He knows the way.

Okay, I trust you.

We'll keep going.

Wait, the bomb's activated.

- What is going on? - Come on.

Leave it there. Let's go.

What's going on?

Leave it there.

Let's go!

What's going on?

Where is the mouse taking us?

Here.

The mouse is telling us to destroy this door.

- Are you sure? - Yes.

Let's do it. We'll see where it leads us.

Step aside!

- Don't move! - What is it?

Don't move! Drop your weapon!

Drop your weapon?

Drop the price of fuel.

Then we'll drop our guns.

And drop the price of chili peppers, too.

Drop your weapons now!

Or drop your tones, to G major like this!

Stop doing that! It's giving me a headache!

Damn! She's hot, all right!

Are we in heaven?

Money!

- We're rich! - Is this money?

What's going on here?

Don't play dumb!

Carry the money into the car!

What hole is that?

Hurry!

Whoa. Hey! Here's our money! We are rich!

Hurry, take the money to the car!

Let me handle the cops. Step aside!

Come on, hurry!

I've got a lot of money!

Stop!

We have so much money!

Come on, hurry!

Watch out!

The cops are after us!

Move a little, please.

Where are your guns?

Go and shoot the cops!

But you only told us to take the money, not the guns.

You're all idiots.

Who are you, anyway? Why do you keep on telling us what to do?

Ouch. Don't touch me!

Damn, I have to take a full shower again!

The cops are getting closer. Faster.

Wait. The guitar. You can shoot them with it.

I told you we're out of bullets.

All we have left is just the guitar.

Dear God...

Get closer.

Get even closer!

I have an idea. I'll make bombs out of this.

Like in the movies. Give me a minute.

Ellya Kadam, WD Mochtar, Muchsin Alatas

Eva Arnaz, Barry Prima, Advent Bangun

Sally Marcelina, Roy Martin, Ahmad Albar

Sally Marcelina, Roy Martin, Ahmad Albar

Zainal Abidin, Si Mandra ala Damsik Damsik Damsik

Use it now.

Hurry!

Eat this! The bomb from Eastern Star!

So blackie has been keeping a grenade all along.

Why didn't you tell us? Is it for your collection?

Do you know how to use it?

Here. Press the button here.

And pull the trigger. You're done.

Throw it out now!

Zainal Abidin, Si Mandra ala Damsik Damsik Damsik

We're rich.

Let's go find another way!

Who are you?

Time to sleep.

- Yes. Oh! - We'll go to Maldives.

Turn them in.

And let the cops do to them what they will.

- Hold on a minute. - Okay.

Good thing you're not a driver.

Where did they go?

Captain.

- Good afternoon, everyone. - Hello.

We've managed to catch the perpetrators. They went back to the hospital.

Just so we are clear,

these are indeed the patients who ran away from our facilities.

The rest is up to you and the law.

You don't need to remind us of that.

And we know you want your patients back at the facilities as soon as possible.

But there is a due process they need to go through.

We need to make sure they did this intentionally

or because they have psychological problems.

So we caught all the bad guys?

- Yes, sir. - Good.

I'm happy. Congratulations.

Who's that?

I'm Dr. Pandji.

I'm the head of Cinta Waras Mental Hospital.

Actually, I was the one who caught them.

The police are obligated to catch the bad guys,

but civilians like you also have the right to do the same.

But you have to release those bad guys into our custody.

Don't be a vigilante.

You're a doctor, not Batman, right?

But you do have the right "heels"?

How high is my right?

You wanna wear woman's shoes?

You have the right "heels."

Is that a joke? You're funny.

- Don't forget what I'm telling you. - Yes, sir.

I've got no time. I've got a lot of work.

Okay.

Wait.

Doctor, have you retrieved the bracelets?

Who is this?

USB drive?

Let me have it.

See what's on this. Now!

Don't go anywhere. Stay here.

That's a hoax.

Do you know Photoshop?

Those photos are Photoshopped.

Watch him!

Let me go.

- Here's the data. - Okay, thanks.

That isn't me.

I know what you think

but that guy isn't me. He just looks like me.

You know how people seem to resemble others?

Well, that's what you have here. That's not me.

It can't be me.

I don't look like that.

Lots of people look like me. I'm not that fat.

Okay, stop!

- Just take him to his holding cell. - Wait.

- Now! - I can explain. I'm a doctor. Hey!

Who are they?

It's true that speaking English will make you sound cool.

But for the tenth time, I'm telling you, we live in Indonesia.

Sorry, Cap.

I meant the signal makes it look as though the perpetrators are on the move.

Very special.

- Nikita baby. - Hey, what?

You want to touch me?

Don't you dare.

You can look, but you must pay to touch.

Mind your manners.

What did you say?

All right, enough.

Get down, all of you.

Can you even talk?

Half of the money is for us

and the other half is yours.

- Really? - Yeah.

- Seriously? - Yes.

You're surrounded!

Do not move!

How did you know...

Hey, did you betray me? Did you?

Bring the evidence.

I'd like to report to you that the frequency signal

came from a car used by the robbers.

And we managed to catch them

right before they handed the money over to Cak Lontong.

Cak Lontong?

Yes. The criminal kingpin we've been looking for.

Okay, we're on our way.

So the mastermind behind all this is Cak Lontong.

The question is...

who gave us this data and the flash disk?

How was your vacation?

- Fun? - Yeah.

It's more fun catching bad guys.

Yeah. Give us more bad guys.

We're really ready.

I have two major jobs for all eight of you.

Good evening!

Is that your son?

He's my assistant, my right-hand man.

Quiet, Big Daddy wanna start the meeting now, okay?

There you go, it's his son.

First...

I'm going to hypnotize you.

You'll fall asleep on there.

One, two, three.

I'll send you to a mental hospital...

...where it is suspected that there's an exploitation of patients

to become crime workers.

Their crime is controlled by perpetrators

inside the hospital.

You might get brainwashed there

suggesting a false reality

under pretenses,

replacing the memory of your own life.

But don't worry, it's only temporary.

Remember, you are still under my hypnosis.

I'll also put cameras there.

It's predicted that all of you will be signed in to carry out their next crime.

From there, we'll just go with the flow.

My right-hand man will watch you from a close distance.

Okay. Eight.

- What's this? - You'll fall asleep in three.

One, two, three.

You won't remember what is happening.

All you will remember when you wake up is the journey

to take eight patients to the police.

One, two...

And at the right time

I will wake you up from your hypnosis

to carry out the next job.

Here.

Your next job is very interesting.

Cool.

But also very difficult.

You will go undercover as stand-up comedians.

You will enter their daily lives.

Stay with them.

Monitor their struggles.

Among them there's one particular comedian who is most sought after and dangerous.

So, play nice.

Uncover their identity.

Are you ready to be a comedian?

When have we ever not been ready?

Are you all ready?