Original subtitles

-Did you see the concert?

-Yeah, didn't you go?

-No, I couldn't.

-Oh, he was so good.

-Oh--

-He was wearing these purple Spandex pants.

They were so--

-Oh.

-He looked so good.

[girls squeal]

-Eight o'clock?

-Yeah.

Yeah, sure, Johnny, 8:00'll be fine.

You gonna pick me up?

-Yeah, I'll pick you up.

-Like hell you will, pal.

-Something I can do for you gentlemen?

-Yeah, Johnny, you can go back to New Jersey.

-Actually, I kind of like the scenery here.

-Well, we don't like you, hot shot.

-Derek.

Go back to class.

-Yeah, Derek, why don't you listen you sister?

She's a very smart lady.

-Oh yeah?

Good comeback, Derek.

-Derek.

Derek!

Oh

DIRECTOR: Cut!

Print.

[bell rings]

[punching and grunting]

-Hey, hey, cut!

Cut!

-Well, I'm impressed.

He gets $4 million for that?

-That's the rumor.

-I don't get it.

Anybody can do that.

-Jeremy!

Break it up.

Come on, you guys, break it up.

Come on, come on.

-What the hell's the matter with you, man?

-You hit like a girl, that's what's the matter with me.

-Yeah, well, you and the horse you rode in on, pal.

-He's outta here.

-Jeremy, come on, man, it's the first day.

-Do it!

DIRECTOR: Wrap it up, Gary.

That's it.

-What, you guys are my bodyguards?

-Yeah, I'm Tommy Littlefield, this is Doug Simon.

-Rent-a-Cops, huh?

You guys like doing that kind of work?

-Pays the bills.

-Yeah, well, at least you ain't real cops.

I hate cops.

They're all fat and stupid.

-Fat and stupid?

-Yeah, fat and stupid.

All right, we blow out of here at 7:00 when they wrap.

Get me back to the hotel without 100 kids tearing my hair out

and I'll buy you dinner.

-Charming guy.

-Yeah, it's gonna be a lot of laughs.

[sigh]

[theme music]

THEME SONG: We never thought of finding

a place where we belong.

Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.

Don't need permission to decide what you believe.

Hoo!

I said, jump!

Down on Jump Street.

I said, jump!

Down on Jump Street.

Your friends'll be there when your back is to the wall.

You'll find you need us, 'cause there's no one else to call.

When it looks hopeless, a decision's what you need.

You better be ready to, be ready to jump!

21 Jump Street.

PENHALL: What a load of crap.

Captain, this is a bogus assignment, babysitting this--

this--

-Creep.

-Thanks.

That's the word I was looking for.

FULLER: Look, guys, Jeremy Woods has

been received threatening letters.

-Good.

Where do I send mine?

Movie stars get crank mail all the time.

I just don't want any part of him.

-Yeah, he is a bit of a, uh--

-Dink.

-Thank you.

That's the word I was looking for.

-Captain, why does the city want to spend

the public's hard-earned cash babysitting some Hollywood

flake?

-Look, this comes directly from the mayor's office

through the chief.

"These film companies are important to the city.

They spend millions of dollars on restaurants, hotel rooms,

goods and services," quote, unquote.

IOKI: You know, guys, this movie they're

making costs $15 million.

I saw a thing on the news last night.

-It's bull.

The whole movie business is bull.

Bunch of overpaid people standing around doing nothing.

FULLER: Yo, that is the gig, guys.

Unless you want to join the detail clearing

bums off the street for the pope's visit?

-We'll stick with the dink.

-Good.

Just keep in mind that Jeremy Woods

does have a penchant for getting into trouble.

Last year he busted up a maitre d' pretty good,

got himself charged with assault.

IOKI: Well, and one time he drove his Ferrari

into the swimming pool of the Beverly Hills Hotel.

He wanted to know if the lights work underwater.

-Did they?

-I don't know.

-So?

So tell me about him.

How's he look up close?

Nobody really has cheekbones like that.

Well, did you even meet him?

-Yeah, he's coming by for lunch.

-Morning, Captain.

So what's the movie about?

-It's junk, Jude.

I mean, look at it. "Streetwise.

The story of a tough kid from Jersey

who wrecks havoc on a nice suburban school."

-Sounds pretty good.

-He beats guys up and chicks fall at his feet.

-Sounds pretty good.

Oh, Penhall, you just don't like a movie

unless some muscle-bound fool is blowing away

cretins from outer space with a flamethrower.

-She got you there, Doug.

-Hey, I gotta believe what I'm seeing.

HOFFS: Well, I believe Jeremy Woods is totally fine.

He's hot.

I'd let the guy eat crackers in my bed.

Why didn't I get this assignment?

-That is why.

[door slams]

[buzz]

-I hear you got all your points off me, Teddy.

-Nah.

Not me.

-I heard that you were out of rocks.

No more inventory.

Kind of puts you out of business.

That's a shame.

-Only a temporary setback.

-I could help you out, if you're willing to pay retail.

-Sorry, Waxer.

I couldn't sell that bunk you call rock.

My customers hate running to the can all the time.

-Hey, get those cooks out of here, man.

-I'm sorry, man.

My nerves are kinda bad right now.

-I'll tell you what.

Why don't you stick with your customers,

and I'll deal with the ones who can read and write.

-You've got a real good sense of humor

for one of the stupidest gray boys I've ever met.

[PRISONERS SHOUTING AND CHEERING]

PRISONER: Come on, man.

-You had enough, Waxer?

-No, but he has.

[prisoners laugh]

-What are you looking for, Mr. Jackson?

Maybe I can help you locate it.

-You know what?

It's not enough for you to be scum, is it?

You gotta be scum with a big mouth.

-I'm not scum.

I'm a victim of my environment.

[laughter]

-Just ask the social worker.

She told me that yesterday.

-Who you kidding, Waxer?

You came from a better neighborhood than the one

I live in now.

-He's pretty bad.

-Get them into the dispensary.

This is gonna cost you some extra time, Mister.

-Yeah?

Well I got 50 witnesses that'll swear he started it.

INMATES: Yeah!

Yeah!

-Yeah, I know, you were just trying to enjoy your lunch.

-By the way, if you're looking to change neighborhoods,

perhaps I could arrange some financing.

[prisoners jeer and laugh]

[girls screaming]

-We were in the movie yesterday and we

were wondering if you would sign this.

-Sorry.

Guys, get them to pull the limo around, all right?

-What a mook.

You think if I killed him, there'd

be a jury in the world that'd convict me?

-Only if they were sitting in the box.

GIRL: Excuse me.

[clears throat] Hi.

HANSON: Hi.

-Um, I-- I saw you talking to Jeremy before,

and I was wondering if you could give this to him for me.

-Um, I'm sorry, miss, I can't accept that on his behalf.

-Please?

I've really come a really, really long way.

Please.

-I'm sorry.

-Hey!

Where the hell is the limo?

It's all clear, your majesty.

-Thanks for the ride, Jeremy.

-Oh, my pleasure.

-Let me ask you a question.

What's the big deal about signing an autograph or two?

-'Cause there's no such thing as an autograph or two.

I sign those, in 10 minutes there'll

be 150 kids climbing all over me.

Come on, guys, cocktail hour.

-Now I could go have a drink with him,

or I could go do my laundry.

-How many quarters you got?

-Exactly.

-You sure you don't want to have some dinner?

-Well, I've got a six o'clock call

and I should get some sleep, so.

-OK.

[shutter click]

[shutter click]

-Jeremy.

Jeremy!

[woman gasps]

-Don't do it, Jer-- you've got no right to do that!

-Yeah?

You think I got a right to smash this camera?

-Whoops!

Everything OK here?

-Yeah.

Next time I'll feed you the lens.

I promise.

-Good night, Jeremy.

Try and stay out of trouble.

-You OK?

-Oh, I'm fine.

Jeremy and I are old friends.

-Yeah.

-[sigh]

-I hate this dweeb.

-You must spend a fortune in smashed cameras.

-Hey, he has the right to photograph me

at a public gathering.

Since I live in this hotel and he doesn't, he

has no right to invade my privacy.

-Is that really legal?

-Hey, he sells that picture to some supermarket rag,

next thing you know, I'm having some secret affair

with Melissa Mason.

Not that I wouldn't mind doing the babe,

but my girlfriend might object.

Women.

You can't live with 'em, you can't shoot 'em.

-That's a funny line.

Steven Wright, huh?

-Yeah, so I'm a thief, too.

See what this business does to you?

-Nice.

-Yeah, make yourselves at home.

-(WHISPERING) This place must cost $300 a night.

-Try $1,500.

-Try $1,500.

-Oh, please, Mr. Woods, if you give me your autograph,

I'll let you do anything you want to me.

-Very funny, Jody.

-Just trying to make you feel at home, Jeremy.

Switching to boys?

That'll make a good story.

-Uh, Jody Kleinman, this is Littlefield and somebody.

-Simon.

-Right.

Uh, Jody's my agent.

-Nice to meet you.

Jeremy, put on something decent.

We have a charity benefit at eight o'clock.

-Pass.

JODY: Oh, you can't pass, Jeremy.

It's for a very good cause.

You're already committed, and it's part of your probation.

-Are you my date?

-Oh, don't get excited.

Besides, what would your girlfriend say?

Well, thank you very much, gentlemen, we

won't be needing you anymore this evening.

See, Jeremy's always on his best behavior when he's with me.

-What do you got, a leash?

JODY: Ooh, I like this guy.

Are you an actor?

-[laughs] No thanks.

-That's too bad.

Very cute.

[gulp]

PENHALL: Acting.

What a way to make a living.

Couldn't pay me enough to do that crap.

-Yeah.

-You think she'd go out with me?

-Who?

-That lady, Jody Kleinman.

-Hmph.

Too much car for you, man.

-So I told the boy to stay out of my face,

you know what I'm saying?

Are you listening to me?

There's gonna be a test on this stuff later.

[buzz]

-You want to see me?

-Yeah, I want to see you.

Sit down.

You're leaving Baintree, Waxer.

Sending you down to the central jail.

-You can't do that.

I'm under 18.

-OH, we can do whatever we like.

-You're transferring me to a maximum-security lockup,

an adult lockup, for getting into a fight?

-We're transferring you because you're

being charged with second-degree murder.

Teddy Baker died last night at 3:00 AM.

-Tough break.

-For you.

See, that's special circumstances.

When you're almost 18, that means

you get a new home, surrounded by the big boys.

-I'm worried.

Can you tell?

-I think you are.

You're going to do some hard time.

And you know you're going to be in for some real fun

down there.

-You really enjoy your job, don't you, Jackson?

Some days are more satisfying than others.

[spits]

[laughs]

-Enjoy the ride over, Waxer.

'Cause when you get there, you're

gonna be bunking two to a cell.

[laughs]

-(STIFFLY) You got some ID, punk?

-Cut.

[bell rings]

-He's terrible, Timmy.

What is he, your relative or something?

-Hey, would you relax?

We'll get the line from him.

It's OK.

Come on.

Go sit on the motorcycle.

We look terrific.

OK, gentleman playing the officer, relax.

Take it easy.

You're the law.

Look this guy right in the eye, say the line.

You hate him.

OK, let's go again.

-Quiet!

-And roll!

[bell rings]

-49 Baker, take 12, marker.

-And action.

-You got some ID, punk?

-Cut.

[bell rings]

-Let's do one more.

-Quiet!

-Settle and roll.

[bell rings]

ASSISTANT: 49 Baker, take 13, marker.

-All right.

Concentrate.

Action.

-You got some ID, punk?

-Cut.

[bell rings]

-Come here.

Yeah, you, Simon.

Come here!

Do this.

Do this line.

Go ahead, do it.

-Do what?

-Do this line!

Just say it.

He's perfect.

He looks just like a cop.

-Looks like a cop.

-Uh, I'm not an actor.

-Neither is he!

Look, just say the line, OK?

Don't try and act it.

Just say the line.

DIRECTOR: Don't even try and act.

-Uh, you got some ID, punk?

-All right, now say it again with a little attitude,

like you're really saying it to me, like you really hate me.

-You got some ID, punk?

-He's great.

-I'm in heaven.

-No, no, I told you already, I'm not an actor.

-Hey, you get $380.

-You got some ID, punk?

[spits]

Hey!

DIRECTOR: Cut!

Print.

[bell rings]

Don't kill the star.

OK, folks, we're in the wrong place.

Let's get moving.

PENHALL: So then everybody's watching, right?

Cameras are rolling, I'm standing across from the guy,

and I give him the line.

-What was that line again?

-You got some ID, punk?

-You said the line like that?

-No, I didn't say it like that.

I was acting.

I said it like I meant it.

I was pretty good, too.

I got some applause.

-Yeah, that's 'cause they wanted to go home.

-Well, the makeup lady said I was a natural.

You know something?

I think I know why.

I get this theory.

Want to hear it?

-No.

-See, I think we're all actors.

I mean all of us.

No, no, listen to what I'm saying here.

We go undercover all the time, right?

Now what is that?

That's playing a character.

What's that?

That's acting.

Sometimes we're the McQuaids, sometimes we're, you know,

preppies.

-Sometimes we're egomaniacs.

HOFFS: It's not exactly the same as being in the movies, Doug.

-You're right.

Being in the movies is easier.

Sometimes going undercover, we got guns pointed in our faces.

All they got is cameras pointed in their faces.

-What happened to the movie business being a bunch of bull?

You know, just a lot of overpaid people standing around all day?

-Well, that's behind the camera.

It's different when you're an actor.

HANSON: Oh, so now you're an actor.

He's a thespian.

-[laughs]

-You're just jealous 'cause they didn't ask you.

-You're right.

My big shot.

Maybe I coulda let him goober all over me.

-All I said was I was pretty good.

-So what's he like?

-Well, he's kind of gruff and all, but, uh, he's a star,

so people are always bothering him all the time.

SAL: Hey, Jude, here you go, kiddo.

-All right, Sal!

Thanks a lot.

-Don't worry about it.

-Hey, wait a second.

You said you were gonna give me a picture of Jeremy

Woods with his shirt off.

-That's Jeremy Woods.

It's from his first movie.

"Blood on the Beach."

-Oh, yeah, it is.

-Hey, I didn't know he was in "Blood on the Beach."

-That's all right, not a lot of people do.

He was like, what, 16 years old, just starting out?

I happen to be an expert in that genre.

-Was he any good?

He was great.

Chopped up by a psychotic lifeguard.

-Wait a minute, I remember that.

That was him?

-Yep.

Victim number four.

PENHALL: See that?

You didn't even know it was Jeremy Woods.

He was undercover.

He was acting.

I rest my case.

Hey!

I'm walking here!

WAXER: Why don't you save it, Montgomery?

-This is my last chance to tell you

exactly how I feel about you.

See, I think you're a waste.

-Who cares what you think?

-You tried to kill some kid with a speedball,

slug it out with an undercover cop,

then you get sent to Baintree.

-What are you, my biographer?

-Then you wind up killing some poor slob

over some fictitious territory.

-I've heard all this before.

-So why don't you listen?

-Why don't you kiss my--

-Hey, hey!

You want to keep it down back there?

[horn honking]

[tires squealing]

[crash]

[glass shattering]

[steam hissing]

[screams]

-Just be cool, lady.

-Yeah, you!

What you did sucks!

You listening to me?

-Give me a break!

-Yeah, I'll give you a break.

[crew groans]

-What's-- what the hell's the matter with you?

JEREMY: He's a hack!

He doesn't know what he's doing.

-Excuse me.

I'm going to have to ask you not to use that footage.

-Sorry, I can't do that.

-Look, Jeremy just got a little hot-headed.

-It happened, we saw it, and we had permission to be here.

-I want that tape.

Maybe we can make some sort of deal here.

-Absolutely not.

ANCHORMAN (ON TV): Police are seeking an escapee

from the Baintree Juvenile Prison.

Terrell Thompson, 17, accused in the murder of a fellow inmate,

was being transported to the Central Jail

when he apparently overpowered two officers

and made his escape.

One of those officers, Vincent Montgomery,

died this afternoon.

-Man, they're gonna be all over looking for your tail.

ANCHORMAN (ON TV): We'll be back in a minute with a report

from entertainment reporter Laurel Peterson, who

spent a very interesting day on a movie set.

-He dies in an accident, they're blaming me.

That gringo on the inside picks a fight with me.

I'm protecting my territory, I hit him, and he croaks.

They charge me with murder!

That idiot driver runs his bus into a ditch.

He's history, and gain, who's to blame?

Tyrrell Thompson.

ANCHORMAN (ON TV): Our own Laurel Peterson.

Laurel?

-They're gonna charge me again.

LAUREL PETERSON (ON TV): Thanks, Jack.

Hollywood bad boy Jeremy Woods was at it again today

on the set of "Streetwise," his new movie--

-I'm screwed.

DIRECTOR (ON TV): Gimme a break!

LAUREL PETERSON (ON TV): "Nightside Entertainment"

screw was on hand as the young actor and director Tim Habit

went at it in what can only be described

as a good old-fashioned Hollywood donnybrook.

Bodyguards had to restrain the two

as filming was suspended for the rest of the day.

-Bodyguards?

JEREMY (ON TV): I was acting!

-That's that cop, Hanson.

HOFFS: Boy, Harry, these messages for Hanson

are really stacking up.

IOKI: Anything important?

Let's see.

Let's see here, we got, um-- oh, the cleaners called.

-Mm-hm.

-Said he's got something in there for over a month.

Let's see, his mother called.

-Yeah?

-And here's a message from payroll.

-Payroll?

Now that sounds like it would be important.

-Yeah, I think we should get this message to Hanson

right away.

-Oh, right away.

-Mm-hm.

You want to drive?

-Sure.

You know where they're shooting?

-I got it off Hanson's report.

MAN (ON MEGAPHONE): Stand-ins, stand by.

-Who let you-- come on, Miss, out of the trailer.

-Johnny, we need to talk.

-Johnny?

What's your name?

-It's me, Annie.

Why haven't you written me back?

-Um, I been real busy with filming and all.

What do you want, Annie?

-You know all your movies?

I know they're about me.

About when we were in high school and stuff.

I just came all this way to say thank you.

-I appreciate that.

Listen, why don't we go for a ride?

-No.

Let's stay in tonight.

-We could go to that place we always go.

Remember?

Cabin by the duck pond?

From "Summer Dreams"?

We can take a limo.

-Yes, Jason.

-Bye.

-To the hospital, Tim, all right?

Get an AD to go with her.

Paranoid delusions.

She thinks we're stealing her life and making it into movies.

She's been writing me letters for months now.

-How'd she get in there?

--[sigh] That's your job to know, pal.

Where the hell were you guys, anyway, huh?

I got people wandering in and out of my trailer?

What am I paying you for?

What the--

-Sorry, pal.

This is one employee you can't push around, then fire.

-What the hell do you think you're doing?

-I'm trying to keep the garbage off the set.

-See, we're police officers, and we've

been assigned to you to keep you out of trouble.

-You guys are cops but you're pretending to be bodyguards?

-Yep.

Mayor's orders.

They wanted to make sure you didn't break anything.

-You guys are pretty good actors.

Look, about what I said about cops, I'm sorry.

-No you're not.

-Excuse me?

HANSON: You're not sorry.

You walk all over people and then you think "I'm sorry"

makes it OK.

-Can we take the cuffs off and talk?

-You don't owe us an explanation.

-Hey, half the stuff the say about me, I didn't even do.

The other half I wish I hadn't done.

-Very clever.

-I work hard, I catch a break, and I wind up a star-- luck.

What is it they say?

Don't wish to hard for what you want-- you may get it.

You guys want something to drink?

-Soda.

-Me too, please.

-Something you don't realize when

you dream about being noticed.

Once you are, you're never alone again.

I don't know why I'm telling you guys all this stuff.

But what the heck?

I might as well tell you why I'm such a creep, huh?

-Well?

We're listening.

-They were going through my fan mail about a month ago.

There was tons of it, been piling up for about six months.

Turns out there were two letters from kids

were getting ready to die.

-Let me ask you something.

You know when you drove that Ferrari into the pool?

Lights work?

--[snorts] It's the movies, man, the lights always work.

[knock]

What?

What?

What?

-We're looking for Tommy Littlefield.

-Who?

Look, I don't know who let you in here,

but why don't you just turn around and head for the street,

OK?

-They're OK.

What are you guys doing here?

-Hi, we-- we thought you might need these messages.

-Friends of yours?

-HT Ioki, Judy Hoffs, Jeremy Woods.

-Hi.

-Hi.

-It's a pleasure to meet you.

I love your movies.

-Thanks.

Look, I'm sorry I yelled.

You guys want to hang around and watch some of the shooting?

-We'd love to!

-Yeah, that'd be cool.

-Great, I'm gonna catch a nap.

I'll see you out on the set, OK?

-OK.

He's so nice!

-I just walk through?

That's all I gotta do?

-Yeah, just walk to the other end of the hall

and then walk down this way, like you're

going to your locker.

-This is so exciting.

-Yeah, a thrill a minute. (SHOUTING) All right,

ladies and gentlemen.

Get very quiet, walk away from what you are doing.

[buzzer]

-Quiet!

All right.

And roll!

[bell rings]

ASSISTANT: 42 Apple, take one, marker.

-Background action.

Action.

Cut.

[bell rings]

Print.

Moving on.

I need Jeremy.

-Jude, you look great.

-Think we better call Fuller.

I think I just saw somebody we know.

-You're kidding, man.

There's too many people around.

-We're not gonna do it here.

-I don't want any part of this.

-Well, get on, then.

[knock]

-Come in.

-Hey, they're looking for you.

-Let them wait.

-Officer Hanson.

Remember me?

-Tyrrell Thompson.

-Very good.

Uh-uh.

JEREMY: All right, Hanson, you got me.

That was very funny.

Come on, guys, I gotta get back to my script.

-Excuse me, but did I say you could speak?

This isn't a joke, Mr. Movie Star.

This is for real.

Come on, Hanson, you're coming with me.

You too, pretty boy.

-Leave him out of this.

-Hah.

That sounds like a line in a movie.

-Look, I'll go anywhere you want to go.

Just leave him alone.

WAXER: Aw, come on, Officer Hanson.

I never met a real live movie star before.

ASSISTANT (ON TV): 42 Apple, take one, marker.

DIRECTOR: Background.

And action.

HOFFS: The guy walked right by me.

There he is.

That's him right there.

PENHALL: Freeze that.

That's Waxer Thompson, all right.

-Who is this guy?

Right now, he's the man who's got your star.

PENHALL: He was Hanson's first case.

Put the guy away.

-Well, you guys did a hell of a job protecting my client.

-He's got somebody we like too, lady.

-What's he doing out?

-He killed a guard.

-All right.

I want current addresses on everyone he knows.

-I already know who he knows.

Hey, Ray, how you doing?

-I didn't do nothing!

-Where is Waxer?

-I don't know who you're talking about.

-Ooh, I was hoping you'd say that.

(SHOUTING) Does that jog your memory?

Huh?

-I don't know where he is, man.

-If my partner dies, I swear I will hunt you down

and I will cut something off.

[train horn blaring]

-What are we gonna do?

-Well, what did you do in your last movie?

Looked pretty simple when I saw it.

[toilet flushes]

-Now, where were we?

Oh yeah, "Fast Lane."

That was it.

That was the one I saw.

You beating up all those bad guys up there on the screen.

Hell, must've been what?

What?

10 of them?

You might be the toughest guy I ever met.

What do you think, Hanson?

-I think you're probably the toughest guy he ever met,

Tyrrell.

-[laughs] That's a good answer.

Yeah, big tough guy on the screen.

Big tough undercover man.

-What do you want?

-I want a little revenge.

-It sounds to me like you want to go away again.

-Well, you're gonna love this.

See, this is the part where the cop tells me not

to throw my life away.

That I can rehabilitate myself, learn a trade.

Isn't that right, Officer Hanson?

-[sigh] You're still a juvenile.

-Not according to the court.

They got me for two special circumstances.

Both guys are dead.

That means I got nothing to lose.

[ANCHORMAN SPEAKING ON TELEVISION]

-Yeah, I guess I blew it somewhere.

Maybe I can start over.

Maybe I can become a movie star.

You'll give me a part, won't you?

[whimpers]

-Won't you?

-Y-yeah!

-A big part?

Maybe a leading part.

Could I get a leading part?

-Sure.

WAXER: I want to play a good guy, though.

You know, and get the girl and all.

I don't think I'm right for a bad guy.

What do you think, Jer?

-I think you should let me go.

-Whoa.

Now that's not the right line for a hero.

You're supposed to say, um, I think you should let us go.

Go ahead.

Try it.

Let me hear how it sounds.

Come on with it.

-(WEAKLY) I-- I think you should let us go.

-OK.

It's time to go.

Who wants to go first?

Do you want to go?

Or do you want to watch him go?

-Why don't you back off of him?

-Why?

He's going to die anyway.

[laughs] I just want you to know that he got you into this.

Yeah, and he got me into this.

-[sobs]

-And he got you into this.

[laughs] Looks like the movie star's

gonna leave this world the way he came into it-- crying.

[laughs]

-We did it!

-And what part did Jeremy play in subduing the suspect.

-Uh, well, he was sort of there all the way.

I, uh-- [clears throat] I don't think

I could have done it without him.

-Would you call this a case of life imitating art?

-Yeah, sure, I mean, uh, Jeremy was

instrumental in subduing the suspect.

-Ah, what the heck.

It was no bid deal.

Actually, I think it was probably

all Officer Hanson's doing.

I'm just an actor.

He deserves all the credit.

[shutter click]

-We told you no pictures of the undercover officer.

-I gotta go.

-Thanks, man.

-Are you gonna make a picture out of this, Jeremy?

[cameras clicking]

-Well, I really don't know.

It's kind of been a traumatic thing right now.

I think I just want to go home and take it easy.

It's not every day that I almost get killed, you know?

-You got a picture with your shirt off, Hanson?

-Very funny.

-That's not the way it went down, and you know it.

-So what?

-So why'd you do it?

Why'd you make him out to be such a hero?

-Because he promised me a part in his next movie.

-JODY: Excuse me.

Um, I'd just like to thank you for all your help.

-Well, ahem, we're just doing our jobs, ma'am.

-Thank you, Sergeant Friday.

-Well, you do it very well.

[gulp]

-If you're ever in LA, I'd like to thank you personally.

-Excuse me, guys, I have to go phone the airlines.

[theme music]