All language subtitles for 21.Jump.Street.S02E01.In.the.Custody.of.a.Clown.576p.AMZN.WEB

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Original subtitles

[chatter]

-Hey, Brian!

-Come on!

-Man, what are you packing in here?

This thing weighs a ton!

-Give it back, McFarlane.

-I forgot to do my homework last night.

Would you mind if I have yours?

-(SHOUTING) I said, give it back!

-Whoa!

Would you like a bag?

-Come on, Brian.

Come on.

BULLY: Hoo hoo!

-Wooo!

BRIAN: Come on!

-Hey, come and get it!

Come on, come on!

[kids cheering]

-All right.

All right!

Jeez, you little dweeb.

Next time, don't get yourself so worked up, Sheffield.

We're just playing with you, man.

How'd you ever make it to the ninth grade, anyways?

-Way to go, boy.

Homeroom in five, Sheffield.

I got the clock on you.

[car revs]

-(SHOUTING) Hey!

No!

Come on!

Come on!

Help!

Help!

Help, help!

-Man, that guy jumped Brian!

-(SCREAMING) Help!

Help!

Help!

-Hey!

BRIAN: (SCREAMING) Help, help!

Help!

-(SCREAMING) Hey!

[tires squeal]

[theme music]

THEME MUSIC: We never thought of finding

a place where we belong.

Don't have to stand alone, we'll never let you fall.

Don't need permission to decide what you believe.

Hoo!

I said, jump!

Down on Jump Street.

I said, jump!

Down on Jump Street.

Your friends'll be there when your back is to the wall.

You'll find you need us 'cause there's no one else to call.

When it looks hopeless, a decision's what you need.

You better be ready to, be ready to jump!

21 Jump Street.

-You guys remember, uh, Spencer Phillips?

-FBI, right?

Never forget a haircut.

-A kid was grabbed from Lafayette High this morning,

Brian Sheffield.

Possibly a kidnapping.

Although parental abduction is not out of the question.

-His parents are divorced and there's

a history of custody violations.

We want to establish the extent and nature of the crime

before the Bureau gets involved.

-So you just want us to keep this warm for you.

-Do you have a problem with my handling of this situation?

-We don't have any problems here, Phillips.

PHILLIPS: Good.

These things usually clear themselves up in 24 hours.

Captain.

-Ahh, I hate these emotional types.

-Attitude aside, Phillips might be right.

Parents don't get what they want in court,

they take it to the street.

Let's hope that's all it is.

HANSON: Has Brian ever run away before?

-Of course not.

This is his home.

He has everything he needs.

Oh sure, sure, his father's a lot of laughs

and I'm the bad guy, right?

The disciplinarian.

-Why do you think your husband has abducted your son?

-Because he's tried it before and I caught him.

-Big deal.

Let me tell you something.

I take my son to Dallas on a business trip

and she hires a private detective to follow me.

-Under your custody, Mr. Sheffield,

taking Brian across state line is a violation of the law.

-Come on, man, he's my son.

You're making it sound like I'm some kind of criminal.

-I didn't say that.

-I did.

And OK, maybe it wasn't blue, but it was definitely dark.

-So we're talking a dark '72 Lincoln something.

-'77.

The guy was 72.

-He wasn't that old.

He moved too fast.

And he was wearing a clown mask.

-A clown mask?

-Just like that sneak.

Well, let's see how he likes visiting Brian

from behind bars.

-Well, we can't arrest your husband just off

of these photographs.

-They're photographs of him and my son in Dallas.

Obviously he's been planning this for months.

-Look, I've hardly seen the kid in months.

Those pictures were from a birthday party.

I don't even have a say in how he's raised.

I mean, come on, let the kid out a little.

Let him make some mistakes.

Let him have some fun.

-Totally irresponsible.

He lets Brian drive the car.

-Has Brian seemed anxious lately?

-Very.

-Not at all.

-Kinda.

-Well, what was Brian "kinda" doing right before it happened.

-Uh, we were knocking him around a little.

Teasing him, you know?

It was no big deal.

Hey, it's my fault some perv grabbed him?

-I shouldn't be surprised that he'd stoop this low.

He gets a little lucky in business, and all of a sudden

he's invincible.

He wants the house.

He wants Brian.

-She wants everything.

We're in the middle of a property settlement

and there is nothing-- nothing-- she wouldn't do.

She won't even let me come to the house and pick up my stuff.

-What kind of stuff?

-You know, stuff.

Tapes, a couple pairs of jeans, right there in his knapsack.

-Even his toothbrush is missing.

-All right, Ms. Sheffield, I guess that ought to do it.

-We appreciate your time.

-If you think of anything else, you

can contact me through your principal's office.

-You've got to get him back, Officer.

His father is bad for him.

He hates his father.

-It's his mother he hates.

You can ask him that yourself.

-No, we, um, can't.

He's missing.

[keys jingling]

-Guys?

Mom!

MRS. HOFFS: Hi, Sweetie Pie.

Oh.

-I'm sorry!

I must have lost a week somewhere.

I could have sworn it was next week you guys were coming.

Where's Daddy?

Lying down?

-No, honey, I'm sorry.

He couldn't make it.

-You're kidding.

-Oh, well, he's disappointed, too.

But if we aren't more careful, we

are liable to have more fun without him.

[both laugh]

-You haven't eaten yet, have you?

-No.

-Good, because I have been waiting for you

so I could take you out to dinner.

Ta-dah!

-Mom!

-After all these years, I finally got my own card.

Hm, they tried to give me your father's line of credit,

but I didn't want his.

I wanted my own.

$400.

It's psychological, I'm sure, but every meal I buy with this

just seems to taste better.

[laughter]

-Well, that's great.

Just give me one sec, OK?

-OK.

HOFFS: You know, Mom, I've been meaning

to talk to you about that.

Very important that women establish

their own line of credit, you know?

-Exactly.

HOFFS: I mean, it's nothing against Daddy.

It's just the responsible to do.

-Well, I guess a lot of it's my own fault.

I let things get way out of hand.

I was suffocating in the shadows of Dr. Anthony Hoffs.

HOFFS: Suffocating?

-The slightest deviation and your father can't accept it.

The man's intolerant, judgmental.

[sigh]

-Mom, is everything all right with you and Dad?

-Now Judy, you know your father and I would never do anything

without first giving it a lot of thought.

So there's no reason for you to be upset.

We've decided to separate.

PENHALL: The dark blue, possibly brown Lincoln,

built sometime in the '70s, driven by somebody

from this planet.

-Hm.

How long as Sheffield had his apartment in Dallas?

-Oh, just a couple of months, Captain.

Dallas police got in for a look.

No Brian, but an awful lot of his clothes.

-Penhall.

Captain, speaking of it.

-Yeah, Fuller.

Yeah, give me 15 minutes.

I'll meet you at the house.

School janitor just turned up a ransom tape.

BRIAN (ON TAPE): They won't let me sleep.

I stand for hours at a time, with almost nothing to eat.

You have to get $75,000 in cash.

-Huh.

They must have grabbed the wrong kid.

BRIAN (ON TAPE): You have 24 hours.

-Would you shut up?

BRIAN (ON TAPE): At which time you'll

receive delivery instructions.

Do not involve the police, or they'll kill me!

-You work hard, you pay outrageous taxes

so he can go to a decent school where he's grabbed by some nut?

All right.

All right.

[sigh] All right.

Uh-- [frustrated groan]-- $75 grand, huh?

-Where are we gonna get that kind of money?

-We're going to have to mortgage the house, dear.

-My house?

Who's going to make the payments?

According to your attorney, you're broke.

-Have you got a better idea?

-I know that you two are upset about your son,

but we'll handle the money end of this.

-All right.

Just let the man do his job, OK?

-Look, I think we make a big mistake meeting any demands

until we're sure Brian's OK.

-That's not your decision.

-Look, folks, your son has a much better chance

if we buy some time while we try and locate him.

-But the tape said no police.

-Well, what are you going to do, huh?

What, are you going to fight this thing alone?

-So what do you think?

-I think someone grabbed a kid from a nice neighborhood.

You?

-I think I want to know a bit more first.

I'll have one of my guys trace this tape's lot number,

find out when and where it was bought.

-That won't be necessary.

I'll swing by in the morning.

You can turn the file over.

-OK, let me put it this way.

A kid is grabbed from one of my schools,

I make it my business to find him.

-Legally, after 24 hours, transportation

across state lines can be assumed.

Then it's my business.

-24 hours ago, this thing was going to clear itself up.

-Evening.

How long you planning on staying?

-Oh, a couple of days.

Depends on the fishing.

-Can I see your fishing permit and driver's license?

-Oh, certainly.

Here you are.

-Lot of equipment for just a couple of days.

-You should see what I have in the trunk.

-Where's your plate?

-Oh.

Oh, I have it here somewhere.

Here it is.

Keeps falling off.

I'm gonna wire it on with a coat hanger, first chance I get.

-$7 a day.

Pay when you leave.

You're in space G.

You're in space G.

OLD MAN: Come on, get out of there.

Let me get a good look at you.

-We did it, Grandpa.

-Yeah, we sure did.

Now let's drop a line in the water,

'cause the sun is falling and I'm getting very hungry.

BRIAN: They'll kill me, I swear they will.

If you don't follow these instructions exactly,

you'll never see me alive again.

-You don't think you sound too frightened?

-Grandpa, I've been kidnapped, OK?

Heavy-handed stuff works.

This is not ween out.

-Edison Coulter does not "ween out."

[owl hoots]

-Yeah. [chuckles] We're gonna be fine here.

Hey, and once we get settled up there, why, we can eat dinner

out under the stars every night, if we want.

Oh, you see these firs?

We had those all over our property.

And you see that right there, that clearing?

That's where the dock and boat landing will go.

And right behind it, up there, is

where you and I are gonna build that tackle and bait shop.

-How long do you figure it'll take?

-Oh, working after school and on weekends?

We ought to be in business by this time next year.

-Next year?

Forget it.

We're hiring help.

-With what, son?

-We're budgeted right to the penny.

-So up the ransom.

-No, no, no, we figured exactly what

we needed, no more, no less.

You get greedy on me, son, I'm gonna have to whop you.

-All right, all right.

-We don't have to do this, you know.

We can stop whenever you want.

-I don't want to stop.

I'm in their way.

I'm not gonna live with people that hate me.

-Oh.

Oh, Brian, you're wrong.

They don't have you.

They hate themselves.

[beep]

MAN (ON ANSWERING MACHINE): Hi.

Guess who?

It's Robert.

I'm just calling to say I hope you're

having a nice visit with your daughter,

'cause I miss the sound of your voice.

I'll talk to you soon.

Bye.

[beep]

[tape rewinding]

-Who's Robert?

-A friend.

-My friends don't miss the sound of my voice

after just a few days.

-He's someone I met at the bookstore.

-When?

Delores Hoffs, don't walk away from me

when I'm talking to you.

I asked when, before or after this decision of yours?

-Judy, don't you have any male friends?

-Well, if he's just a friend, then why has Daddy left you?

-Because 26 years into a perfectly good marriage,

your father suddenly decides he doesn't trust me anymore.

-Are you sleeping with this man?

BRIAN: Vo: Just across the footbridge,

you'll see a statue.

You are to be standing at the base of this statue at exactly

6:00 PM.

My parents are not to make this drop themselves.

IOKI: Hello?

Hello?

-All right, Ioki's in place.

You ready with that?

-Yeah.

-Pick up the walkie-talkie at the base of the statue.

-All right, we're up.

Let's go.

Go around to the left and keep your eyes open.

-Now look behind the statue.

See that life preserver?

Put it on-- and I mean on.

Zip it up tight.

Now head towards the waterfall.

[shutter clicks]

-What would your parents do?

Would they pay $75 grand to get Doug back?

-Doug who?

-Just to the right of the waterfall is a small pine.

See it?

Put the money on the ground and cover it

with the needles from that pine tree.

All right, now set the walkie-talkie down.

Turn around.

Now carefully, very carefully, feel

the lining of that life preserver.

What you're feeling is enough explosives

to blow you into the next county.

You understand?

-Call the bomb squad!

-Ioki's in trouble.

Come on.

-All right.

Now slowly, very slowly, walk back to the statue.

Now don't-- repeat, don't-- turn around.

FULLER: (SHOUTING) Ioki!

HANSON: Excuse me, folks.

I'm a police officer.

You're going to have to leave the park right away

FULLER: Get them out of here. [inaudible],

clear the whole park.

Everybody just stand real still.

Don't-- Brian.

Brian?

Just do exactly what they say, Brian.

Take it real easy and move real slow.

-Ioki, bomb squad's on its way.

Stay real still.

-$600?

They need more time.

What's the matter, he couldn't sell his golf clubs?

-Aw, $600 will still go a long way.

-Grandpa, we've been jacked.

-Some bomb.

Four road flares and some telephone wire.

-You get a feeling there's something vaguely

amateurish about this?

-Captain, we've got something on those ransom tapes.

Both plot numbers trace back to a drugstore in Michigan.

-According to Hoffs, Mrs. Sheffield's father

rents a cabin up there every summer.

-The boy's grandfather?

-That's right.

Mom, I'm really sorry, but things are just crazy today.

-It's OK, honey.

I like it.

And I like what you're doing.

[phone ringing]

-Hoffs.

Great, put him through.

Dad.

What a surprise.

-We don't have time to waste on 100-to-1 shots, Captain.

-Time my unit bought, Phillip.

Hoffs!

-Dad, hold on.

Mom, I gotta go.

Take down his flight information.

-Go ahead, Anthony, if you think you

can trust me to get it right.

-When was the last time Mrs. Sheffield talked to her father?

-About a year ago.

They had a big falling-out when Mr. Sheffield wouldn't

let Brian go to his grandmother's funeral.

-All right, give me everything you

can on the father-- pics, prints, the works.

-OK.

-I haven't given you the go-ahead to proceed, Captain.

-And I didn't ask you, either.

Brian hasn't crossed any state lines yet, Phillip.

-All you've got to show for 36 hours' work

is a recovered walkie-talkie with your unit's fingerprints

on it.

-Why don't you take that walkie-talkie and--

MRS. HOFFS: Judith Marie Hoffs, how dare

you put me in that position?

[clears throat]

-Everyone.

I'd like you to meet my mom.

-Ma'am.

-Hello.

-Hey.

MRS. HOFFS: Nice to meet you all.

-You've raised a fine young lady there, Mrs. Hoffs.

-Oh, thank you.

Oh, excuse me, Officer.

-Who me?

I'm a maintenance engineer.

-Why don't you take that walkie-talkie,

have your lab dust the batteries?

My money says the prints will match the grandfather's.

BRIAN: Where have you been all day.

I thought they nailed you for sure.

-I'm doing a little research, son.

We need a game plan before this thing unravels any more on us.

-All this stuff's about other kidnappings.

-When you've got a problem, you turn to the experts.

Here, I thought you'd get a kick out of this.

-"Brian Edison Sheffield, born to Mr. and Mrs.

John Sheffield of Huntington Park.

8 pounds, 6 ounces."

-See?

You didn't start off small.

-What were they like back then?

-Oh, like ants in the pants, son.

Worst case of youth I ever saw.

Selfish, self-centered.

Even tried to elope once.

Would have made it, too, except that idiot father

of yours forgot to bring a ladder.

So that night, we all sat down in the kitchen over cocoa

and planned us a wedding.

You doing all right here?

-Yeah.

I'm doing fine.

So, could we use any of this stuff?

-One of the most successful crimes in history.

-What?

-The Getty kidnapping.

Paid almost $2 and 1/2 million for the return of his grandson.

-Let's do what they did.

-They lopped off his ear.

-Let's find something else.

-Relax.

I like your ear where it is.

But you know, I think I've found a way of letting

them know how serious we are about this.

$600 we gave them, a note saying it's

not enough, and Bozo's ear?

--[laughs] I told you your father was nuts.

Ever since her mother died, he's been totally out of control.

-I can't believe my dad would do anything to hurt him.

-Yeah, well, he's in control enough to steal from the best.

The instructions, the ear?

Right out of the Getty kidnapping.

-Isn't there something that we can do to stop him?

-Are you up to following these instructions?

Because he wants you to deliver the ransom this time.

-Whoa, whoa, whoa.

-I'm not having her drive back roads

tossing money out of windows.

-We may not have to.

How good is your father's eyesight?

-They don't pay me enough for this.

-Yeah, pantyhose are so expensive.

-All right, keep your heads down, guys.

Got someone coming up behind us.

I'm doing 30 and he's still not passing.

All right, there's the lights.

Grandpa at six o'clock.

-All right, this is Fuller.

Give him a half a mile and then close it up.

-Get ready, guys.

[tires squealing]

PENHALL: Let's go, Harry!

[brakes squealing]

[guns cocking]

-All right, come on out of the car, Grandpa.

Come on out.

EDISON: All right, all right.

Put those things down before you hurt someone.

-Spread 'em.

-All right, OK.

Would you mind if I sat down, huh?

Are you finished?

-Yeah.

You OK?

-Yeah, I'm fine.

-Well, at least I've got something

to tell them back in Washington.

You think you can handle a conviction?

Or do you want to turn Bozo's ear over to me?

-It could've been worse, Phillips.

-Yeah.

They could have sent his nose.

EDISON: So my friend is holding me up on top of the shoulder,

see, and I'm hanging out way out over Waveland Avenue, outside

of, uh, Wrigley Field?

Now bases are loaded and upcoming

is Big Bill Nichols, right to the plate.

Oh, what a hitter.

And they used to call him Swish.

Anyway, Leo Durocher is managing the Dodgers.

-Leo the Lip.

-Right, Leo the Lip.

Now the Lip lives in mortal fear of Nicholson.

So get the picture-- I mean, top of the ninth, 3-2 Dodgers,

bases loaded.

And Durocher orders the pitcher to walk in the tying run,

because he's afraid to pitch to the Swish. [laughs] True story.

I was there myself.

[laughter]

[clears throat] That still doesn't

excuse what you've done, Mr. Coulter.

Kidnapping is a very serious offense.

-Mr. Coulter, you'd make things a lot easier on yourself

if you'd give up the boy.

-Not until I have my say in court.

-You understand that these are felony charges being brought up

against you?

-All right, I broke the law.

I desecrated a clown mask.

What do I get for that?

Three to five?

-This isn't a joke.

-You're telling me, son?

All right, I may be facing life, but if I didn't do something,

my grandson would be facing life with two people that

don't care a thing about him.

And to me, that's worth it.

-Please, tell us where he is.

-I told you, he's fine.

HOFFS: What he is is alone.

And probably scared half to death.

-Hey!

Who are you guys?

Let me out of here!

-Got anything to eat?

-We'll get you something downtown.

-Is my grandfather all right?

-Yeah, he's fine.

-Is he going to jail?

But we planned it together.

-I'm sorry, Brian.

Minors can't give legal consent.

-Am I going to jail?

-No, you're gonna go home, 'cause we, uh, saved your life.

-No more star-filled nights, no more rainbow trout

over the open flames.

The nightmare's over, Brian.

-Come on, you guys.

Don't you understand?

My grandfather and I need each other.

We're the only family we got, and you're ruining it.

Don't make me go back to my parents.

-Well, your parents deserve to know you're OK.

-I don't care what they know.

And I'm not going back to them, either.

If Grandpa's doing time, I'm doing time.

-Look, Beav, ease up on us, will you?

We're just doing our jobs.

-Do your job, OK?

Stick me in a home where I'm not wanted and don't belong.

And don't shoot me in the back, either.

I'm not armed.

I'm not even tall.

-Brian.

Well, I feel like hell.

How about you?

-I don't get paid to feel like hell.

It just works out that way.

HOFFS: Daddy, you're not listening.

MR. HOFFS: Oh, I see.

You approve of your mother's boyfriend?

-Tony, he is just a friend.

-He's a boy and he's a friend.

Yes, Delores, I know how that goes.

And you spend an incredible amount of late hours

with your friend.

-We go to the theatre.

We have a drink afterwards and we talk about the play.

-There isn't a play in the world that

can't be thoroughly thrashed and analyzed by midnight.

-Aren't you guys being a little unreasonable?

BOTH: Unreasonable?

-Your credit card bill?

Thursday the 18th, a charge for $135 at the Palmer House Hotel?

The cost of a suite?

Is that reasonable enough for you?

[horn honks]

-Delores, it's him or me.

You can't have it both ways.

-Which means I have to have it your way.

-Call me old-fashioned, but I still believe in fidelity.

-Tony.

Those charges were for lunch at the restaurant.

There were four of us.

I didn't have enough cash, so we put it on my card.

HOFFS: You expect for me to believe that?

-Believe whatever you want.

But it felt great.

-Oh, will you guys grow up?

BOTH: That is not the point.

-Then what is?

-If your father distrusts me this much after 26 years,

then this marriage isn't even worth saving.

-Oh, terrific, then go marry that new best friend of yours.

-I thought you were my best friend.

Nothing happened.

-Well, then what's with the aerobics,

and then going to plays, and your credit card?

-Tony, I have to have something that is mine.

There's ours, there's yours, but there's no mine.

And I don't need any ultimatums.

What I need is room.

-You think that card of yours can handle dinner

for three tonight?

-[relieved sigh]

MR. HOFFS: Come on.

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

-Sorry, excuse me.

Mr. Brabeck, we're the arresting officers in this case.

-Hey, not to worry.

Conviction's in the back.

-You sound pretty sure of yourself.

-I know Judge Simon.

We give her a clean felony bust, she gives us a conviction.

-Yeah, yeah, but there's some extenuating circumstances here.

-Relax, will you?

Simon's the original hanging judge.

She'd send George Burns away for smoking in an elevator.

[laughs]

-Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

Excuse me.

Sorry.

-Excuse me.

Oh!

Excuse me.

-Excuse me.

Sorry.

Sorry.

BAILIFF: All rise.

The Honorable James Desmond presiding.

-All right, all right, all right, sit down.

Sit down, sit down, sit down, sit down.

We all know the routine.

Uh, Judge Simon is, um, having root canal this morning,

and uh, I'll be sitting in her place.

All right?

[clears throat] Let's get this thing started, OK?

-I object.

-Mr. Coulter, you can't object.

The trial hasn't started yet.

-Look, I don't care if he's on his lunch hour.

Tell him I gotta talk to him and it's important.

-I object!

Mr. Coulter has the right to refuse counsel,

but-- but not to badger Mr. Sheffield

with relevant questions.

-Mr. Coulter, if you have a point to make,

make it before Brabeck here has a stroke.

-We doing all right here, Jack?

-Fine, Dad.

Just fine.

-Jack, do you mind telling all these people why you wouldn't

let your son attend his grandmother's funeral?

--[laughs] Uh, well, because that particular weekend was

my weekend.

-Your weekend?

MR. SHEFFIELD: Yeah, I get Brian two weekends out of the month,

and I had tickets to a ball game.

-Ah.

Tsk, tsk, tsk.

Too bad she couldn't have died during a road trip.

BRABECK: I object.

-Don't bother.

I'm done with this guy anyway, Judge.

BRABECK: And after Captain Fuller

informed you that the abductor was in fact your own father,

did you feel a sense of, uh, relief?

-I felt better, yes.

-But not relieved?

-No, I was still worried.

That's all, Your Honor.

EDISON: [whistle] Hold it.

Where's she going?

I got a couple of questions, Your Honor.

Hiya, Kitten.

-Hi, Dad.

-We doing all right here?

-Yeah.

-I spoke to the lady up at the state custody office yesterday.

She was telling me that Jack requested

a third weekend of visitations.

You turned him down.

Why?

-Because he's taking him to these power clinics.

Brainwashing is what it is.

-Whoa, whoa.

I'm trying to get the boy out of himself.

You've got his nose buried in a book 24 hours a day.

[gaveling]

-You're out of order.

-Did you ever think that he might

want to go to those clinics?

-Yeah.

-And did you ever think he might not want to go?

-Yeah.

MR. SHEFFIELD: He never told me he didn't want to go.

He never said a word to me about that.

-Look, I don't care what he wants.

That man is not taking my son to those meetings.

-No further questions, Your Honor.

Your Honor, that is my grandson, and I do care what he wants.

He's not a javelin for these two to throw back and forth

at each other.

So pardon me for stealing him, but that's the way I feel.

You have a Rolaid, Your Honor?

I didn't have any breakfast.

-Your Honor, Mr. and Mrs. Sheffield

are Brian's biological parents, yet we're subjecting them

to cross-examination when he's the one that

committed the crime.

-Counselor, this is a hearing.

And that's what we're doing.

We're hearing.

-Thank you, Your Honor.

-Don't mention it.

-If there's anything you would like us to hear,

this would be an excellent time.

-Yes, Your Honor, as a matter of fact, there is.

The ransom tapes.

They're being transported by a bonded justice

courier from Jump Street.

Now if you allow them into submission,

I believe I can get this hearing back on track.

-Good.

Is that evidence here?

-Yo, somebody waiting for this?

[laughter]

-And you are?

-Sal Banducci, Your Honor.

I don't believe we've met.

[laughter]

-You have the evidence Mr. Banducci?

-Yep, and it's all here, too.

I double-checked it on the way over.

But I gotta tell you, this is pretty funny.

Look what I brought to a hearing.

[laughter]

[gaveling]

-Are you a bonded justice courier, Mr. Banducci?

-Nah, I'm a maintenance engineer.

[laughter]

-Counselor, you realize, of course,

that I have to rule this evidence inadmissible.

-Your Honor, please--

This man is a janitor.

-I object!

To the term "janitor."

-You can't object.

Sit down.

-Uh, approach, Your Honor?

-Approach.

-I still think I can bring a judgment against him,

Your Honor, even without the evidence.

-I doubt that, son.

You weren't doing a very good job out there.

And, uh, unless you are hellbent on putting this gentleman away,

this brings us back to a misdemeanor, hm?

Now step back.

All right now.

I'll tell you what we've got here, and it isn't felony.

We've got a mess.

Will the family approach the bench?

I find the defendant, Edison Coulter,

guilty of illegal restraint, a misdemeanor.

On the charge of abduction with the intent

to hold for ransom, due to a lack of evidence,

the charge will be dropped.

Mr. Coulter, you unlawfully took your grandson

without legal right or authority.

And even though this is only a misdemeanor,

I'm going to be very hard with you.

I'm giving you two years.

Imposition of sentence is suspended.

The defendant will be placed on six months' probation

under the following terms-- that during that six months,

you will be under a restraining order

and aren't to go within 70 feet of Brian or his home.

-70 feet?

40 feet.

[laughter]

-60.

-50 feet.

[laughter]

-You got it.

Brian will remain in the custody of his mother.

-Thank you.

-I hope you all understand me clearly

and have learned something from this.

I don't want to see any of you in my court again, hm?

And that goes for you too, Mr. Banducci.

-I hear you, babe.

-And that is contempt of court.

That will cost you $25, Mr. Banducci.

Any objections?

-How about $10?

-It is now $50, Mr. Banducci.

Any further objections?

-None, Your Honor.

-And, uh, Edison--

-Oh, thank you, Your Honor.

-Next time, think things through a little better, hm?

-I will, Your Honor.

-This court is adjourned.

[gavel]

-You doing all right?

Huh?

Come on.

-I like to see my guys happy.

Get your smiles in now, fellas, 'cause when we get back

to the chapel, there will be none.

-Sal Banducci?

What do you do for a living, Sal?

-I'm a maintenance engineer.

-Not a bonded justice courier?

-Oh, no, sir.

But it does seem like an interesting line of work.

-Listen up.

You ever interfere, participate in, or even get

too close to any police activity around here again,

and I will personally see to it you

are the maintenance engineer at San Quentin.

Is that clear?

-Very clear.

About that $50--

-Get out of my office!

You broke the law, guys.

You obstructed justice.

You tampered with evidence.

-Hey, what's good for the president--

-Stow it, Penhall, this isn't funny.

You knew what you were doing, and you knew it was illegal.

-Sir, I'm not trying to justify what happened,

but could you send that man to jail for what he did?

-Hanson, I understand what you're saying,

and I want you to understand that I understand.

But sometimes you have got to play by the rules

even when they don't sound right.

Am I understood?

BOTH: Yes, sir.

-Good.

Now get out of here.

Oh, and guys?

That's a two-day suspension without pay.

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