Original subtitles

Hello, I'm Murphy Brown, and you must be my new... Ms. Brown, I'm Chip Clark.

I just want to say that I'm an extremely qualified secretary with excellent

skills, although I've never been able to hold on to a job, and I don't know why

that is.

Gee, Chip, this is just a shot in the dark, but do you suppose it could have

anything to do with the hairstyle or the mustache?

In what way?

Did you happen to read the copy of Will's book that Corky gave you? Will's

You mean the story of a little Dutch boy so full of love he gave Paul Revere's

horse the will to live, thereby sparking the American Revolution?

I'd rather pass a kidney stone.

I was desperate for something to read last night. It was either this or the

Ollie North book, and I thought this would be more believable.

I got so caught up in the story that I had to force myself to stop reading at 3

a .m. Does anybody know how it ends? I can't help you, Murph. I'm using my copy

as a bumper guard in my garage.

If I hit the book, I know I'm too close to the wall.

Good morning, news brethren.

Before we start our busy day... You didn't happen to read Will's novel, did

No. Audrey's using it to press Maple Leafs.

Now, before we start our morning meeting, I just want to take a moment to

a few thoughts I had on my way to work this morning.

Now, I was thinking about our parents and how hard they worked and how much

fortunate we are to have a job we love and to be paid so well. Hold on a

He's up to something.

Look at my business.

Dear Lord, it's the annual sponsor's mixer.

I knew it. I knew it. I should have gone with the good news, bad news routine,

but I tried something a little different. So sue me, okay?

Look, the mixer is this Sunday night, and attendance is mandatory.

We are in a recession, and it's important now more than ever to keep our

sponsors happy.

Which reminds me...

No horsing around with the sponsor's products like you did last year? Hey,

not my fault. You put me, cat food, and pate in the same room and something's

bound to happen.

Miles, I'm so sorry I'm late for the meeting, but security just called and

my husband's on his way up.

I thought Will wasn't due back from his book tour until tonight.

He's surprising me. Isn't that sweet?

We haven't seen each other for six weeks.

I have such a romantic evening planned.

Soft candlelight.

Something frilly from Victoria's Secret?

Pork chops.

What do you do with the pork chops?

Special delivery from Miss Sherwood Forrest.

Bunny Buster!

Hi.

Well, hi. Long time no see.

Great book. How does it end?

Oh, sweetheart, this is such a wonderful surprise. Oh, I just couldn't wait to

see it, so I took an early flight. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Big surprise. We're all

thrilled. What about it?

Oh, hi, Murphy. What about it? How does it end?

Well, the Americans win the revolution.

I know that. What happens to the horse? Oh, sorry, Murphy. I'm not getting away

with the ending. You'll just have to read it yourself.

Or wait for the movie to come out.

The movie?

Warner Brothers decided to make a movie of it.

explain to you why I have to catch another flight for L .A. this afternoon.

See, they want to meet on this first thing in the morning. They're making

film their number one priority.

Sweetheart, they're talking Macaulay Culkin for the role of Honus, the little

Dutch boy.

But, Will, I had a big night planned.

Candlelight. And pork.

I know, sweetheart, and I'm disappointed, too, but it'll just be a

weeks and then i i promise our lives will finally be back to normal really

you've been promising me that for over a year first you had to finish your novel

then you had to find a publisher then the book tour happened now it's

This is the biggest break of my life.

You have your career. Why are you trying to stand in the way of mine?

I'm not standing in your way, Will.

I was just hoping to get a little bit of your attention.

But I guess you've made your choice.

Corky.

with you people. Why are you just sitting here? The sponsors are going to

you don't care about them. They're right.

I'll mingle for a while, Miles.

Thank you, Corky. You see?

And a child shall lead them.

So what are you doing? Get out there and schmooze.

Dear Lord, Miller Redfield. I heard he was back at the network. Back

like a bad flu. Not only is he back, He's living my worst nightmare. He's

the weather on the morning show.

Serves him right. You cross picket lines and steal anchor jobs and you get what

you deserve.

It gets worse. I hear he's working with a puppet.

A dog wearing a sombrero called Señor Cold Front.

Maybe he'll have some fun at this party after all.

Oh, Miller, over here.

Well, well, well.

If it isn't Tweedledee and Tweedledum and somebody else.

wanted to congratulate you on your new job. And your new partner must be quite

challenge working with Felt. Who's your agent?

Geppetto?

Hi, Steve Arnold, Ace Parkluck. How are they doing?

You're Miller Redfield, aren't you?

Yes, I am.

Perhaps you saw my special report on the aphid crisis in Kuala Lumpur.

No, but I love your puppet.

Where is he? Yeah, where is he?

Oh, he's...

He's here, but this really isn't a good time. He's sleeping.

Come in.

I spend $14 million annually advertising on this network.

Wake his fuzzy little dog butt up.

Whoops, I think I hear him stirring.

Over here.

Here they are, guys.

I want you to meet one of FYI's newest sponsors.

Mr. Charles Calaruso, founder of Sparkle Flush, the nation's number one toilet

bowl cleaner.

Mercy Brown, I'm a big fan, big fan. I wonder if we might have our picture

later. Well, certainly, Mr.

Calaruso, was it? It would be a pleasure.

Yeah, pleasure, all right.

Captured on film for eternity with Mr. Toilet Bowl Cleaner. A hair like that,

should be Mr. Toilet Bowl Scrubber.

Boy, she really is pregnant.

Pregnant and unmarried.

Maybe I'd better buy time on Quantum Leap instead.

Corky, hi.

Miller Redfield.

We worked together once.

Like I wouldn't remember.

You're too kind.

Mind if I join you?

Yes. Thank you.

How come you're here by yourself tonight?

I'm not even supposed to be here.

I should be having a romantic dinner with my husband right now.

Instead, he's in Hollywood and I'm alone.

Being alone is lonely.

I know.

Here I am in Washington and all I have is this puppet.

It's really not the way I thought my life would go.

Seems like nobody gives you the chance to be something you're not, but you know

you could be if you weren't stuck being what you already know you are.

I know exactly what you mean.

People think they know how you are, so you never get to be what they don't know

you are.

Boy, you can say that again.

People think because you're on TV, your life is one big party.

Some party. You know what I did last Saturday night?

I refilled all the little shampoo containers in my travel kit.

You know, sometimes being alone with someone makes being alone not so bad.

That's very profound, Miller.

Did you just make that up?

Yeah.

Boy, that did sound good.

Try to remember. You might want to use it again.

Sometimes being... Sometimes when... No, it's gone.

5 % as a five -year guarantee.

You wear it out, we replace it free of charge.

I'll bet I could go broke with you.

Five -year guarantee, you say?

Oh, great.

Another sponsor coming on to me.

Don't do it, Fontana. Remember what happened three years ago with the Jiffy

lady?

We have regular, firm, and extra firm.

You've got extra firm written all over you.

Dear Lord.

Any minute, the woman's jaws are going to unhinge and she'll eat me alive.

I have a factory showroom not far from here.

Maybe you'd like to drop by later for a little midnight madness sale.

Oh, God.

It's the Jiffy Lube lady all over again.

And five Saturday nights ago, I cleaned out the grill under my refrigerator.

Five Saturdays ago, I... Oh, yeah.

Never mind.

Don't laugh, all right? I rented a movie.

Old Yeller.

I love that movie!

Maybe because when I was growing up, I couldn't have a dog.

My sister was allergic.

Oh, see, I never had any brothers or sisters. That's why I've always wanted

have a family. Two kids. A boy and a girl.

Wow.

Out of all the combinations you could possibly have, we both want the same

thing.

She's looking at me.

Do I have food on my face?

Now let's see him do the barometric pressure in Portland while you drink a

of water.

No problem.

Oh, senor, what do you have to do to get a drink of water around here?

Set yourself on fire?

They love that.

Puts.

Why did we all hate him so much?

I can't believe I've been talking to Corky for hours and she hasn't gotten up

and left.

I feel like I can tell her anything.

Just don't be an idiot and tell her you had your gin done.

Gee, it looks like everyone's left.

I guess I should be going. I don't want to keep you.

But maybe there's time for one more cup of coffee.

Oh, gee, where did the evening go?

We'd like to go on playing all night, but unfortunately this is going to have

be our last dance.

Disco Inferno.

That's my song.

I love that song.

I got to dance.

You too, Corky.

Miller's a terrific dancer.

He knows all the good moves, and it comes so easily to him.

And pivot, and turn, and two, and one, and point, and turn.

That's okay.

I'll just leave her a note.

Did we go to school together?

Bella, what are you doing here?

Corky, we have to talk about the kiss.

It was a terrible thing.

I was up all night thinking about it.

All I can figure is that I was feeling hurt because of my fight with Will, and

threw myself at you.

No, no, no, Corky, this is all my fault. I don't know what came over me.

You have to believe that I would never make a play for another man's wife,

especially if she's married.

So we both have excuses.

That still doesn't make what happened right.

No, no, it doesn't.

But all we did was kiss.

It was just one kiss.

And we were standing at the time.

That's true.

A standing kiss isn't the worst in the world.

You know, it can be our secret.

Friends should have secrets.

That is, if you think we can still be friends.

It would seem silly not to.

To friendship?

Friendship.

Corky and me.

I. Me.

But in my office, that makes it about me. I. Me.

Corky, I love you. Stop that!

That second kiss said it all. Tell me you didn't feel it, too.

I don't know how I feel.

My head is spinning.

It's probably so repulsed it's trying to twist itself off your body.

Corky, we have to talk.

Things can change.

What if she weren't married?

Murphy, I know you don't understand this, and I'm not sure I

do either, but that second kiss must have meant something,

and I think I owe it to myself to find out what.

That's why I have to go with him now.

Read it and weep.

Let's get out of here, Corky.

We'll take a drive up the coast.

Is there a coast around here anywhere?

God. I'm two chapters away from the end of this book, and I'm never going to

find out what happens to the damn Porsche.

Corky, what are you doing here?

Murphy, you have to help me.

Why do I have to help you? Ever since you left my office, I've been haunted by

the image of you, Miller, and that puppet in some sort of grotesque menage

trois.

Nothing happened between us, Murphy. Neither of them laid a hand on me.

But I feel so guilty because something could have happened.

except the word affair and puppet.

Two words I never even thought I'd use in the same sentence.

I'm so confused.

I'm married.

How can I be attracted to someone else?

I don't know, Corby. I'm not good at this stuff.

Isn't there some all -night radio show you can call?

Excuse me, but the woman is in pain here.

Now, it seems to me that if you're attracted to someone else...

There must be something missing in your life, like a passion or a feeling of

discovery that's obviously been lost from your marriage, if it was ever

It was.

Well, then you have a decision to make.

Now, I've only met your husband once, and I don't even know this Miller guy,

I would have to say the most intriguing choice here is the puppet.

Can you forget the puppet? Look, Corky, what you're experiencing is some

irrational craving.

It's like me and Almond Rocha. I know it's bad for me, but some days I just

to have it. It's the same with you and Miller.

The momentary pleasure would be great, but then all you're left with the next

morning is a bunch of empty wrappers and a bed full of crushed nuts.

Okay.

I'm going to end it with Miller.

You see? That wasn't so hard.

But there's just one thing.

Will you tell him he's out in the car?

What?

I can't do it. I'm weak when I'm around him. Oh, come on, Corky.

He's going to take it very hard.

It might even destroy him.

Oh. Well, why didn't you say so? Let's get the old boy in here.

Excuse me.

Excuse me. But if you really want to help, you should stay out of it. You

it's very important that she tell him herself.

Otherwise... She's not confronting the problem. She's just painting over bad

plaster.

He's right.

I hate that.

You have to do this on your own, Corky.

But it's my house. I get to watch.

Oh, Miller, could you come in here for a second?

He's at the curb playing I've Got Your Nose with the cat next door.

That's far enough.

I have rules about my house.

No smoking, no eating anything that could stain my carpet, no Miller in the

public area. Murphy! Oh, okay, but only as far as the foyer.

Miller, I have something very difficult to tell you.

Something you may not understand.

Does it involve math?

No, Miller.

I really like being with you.

But the past 24 hours have been very confusing.

I've said certain things.

Certain things that with a clearer head, I never would have said.

Do you sort of understand what I'm getting at?

Yeah, sort of.

No.

She wants to save her marriage and she wants you out of the picture.

But you have to tell him.

I'm sorry, Miller.

But when I got married, I took a vow.

For better or for worse.

And even though things now seem worse with Will and better with you, if I'm

going to be true to my vows, then to be worse with Will is really better than

being better with you.

What?

I understand.

What the hell was that?

Esperanto?

Corky, I wish I could think of something to say that would change your mind, but

for the first time in my life, words fail me.

So I'll give you what you want.

I'll go. Bye -bye.

But before I go, I just want to say that I know in my heart of hearts someday

we'll be together.

And until that day comes, I'll be waiting.

I'll wait for you as long as it takes.

I'll wait until the Berlin Wall comes down if I have to.

You did the right thing.

Did I?

I always believed that when you got married, you'd never be attracted to

else. But I was.

And how do I know it won't happen again?

You don't. There's no guarantees in life.

It isn't easy being an adult.

I'm just glad I have a friend like you.

You don't have to thank me.

I'm just glad that in some small way, I was able to help.

Well, what do you say we call it a night?

Oh, Murphy, I need a ride home.

Oh, for God's sake, are you trying to suck me dry?

Oh, all right.

Jeez, when he said he'd wait for you, he really meant it.

I don't know.

Let's give him a few minutes. Maybe he'll forget why he's out there and

So, Corky, it looks like I'm not going to finish Will's book tonight, and I'm

dying to know what happens to the horse.

Why don't you just tell me?

Are you sure you don't want the pleasure of reading it yourself?

No, I want to know now.

What happened to the horse?