Original subtitles

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- Good morning! Does owlet live here? - Hi.

Yes, how can I...

- Who? - There's a letter for Vershinina Angelica.

"To Angelica Vershinina, my owlet".

Grandma?

That's her handwriting.

Thank you.

What's wrong? I'm Angelica Vershinina.

And I'm Sponge Bob Square Pants.

Passport.

A minute.

I'm not Angelica.

I'm Vika, her sister.

Angelica's not home, I can get it for her.

That's against the rules.

We're sisters. We do stuff for each other.

I used to go to PE lesson for her.

- She used to go to cafeteria. - I see that.

When will Vershinina Angelica

get back home?

In two hours. Could you get back? It's just...

- There's something urgent for sure. - Okay.

- I gotta things to do in your area anyway. - Thanks.

Let me finish watering that garden-bed.

- And you can jump on me. - Why would I do that?

Do you think I don't see how you miss me?

Even kissed your ex yesterday.

- Of longing. - Molchanov.

If you so desperate pull a horse's tail,

loss of libido for a week is guaranteed.

Kristina, look who's here. That's Gosha.

- Hi. - What's up, thanks.

Aunty Olia,

I came to propose to Kristina.

Set the table to talk it through. Kasimir,

Listen, Kristina, if you go with him now

I get my stuff and leave this place.

You'll never see me again.

You'll regret it.

Damn, Kristina, I was just kidding.

Moving to another classroom?

Yeah, another classroom

in another city.

It is called Saint Petersburg.

After erotically inclined open lesson

rector joined the

Get Zhanna out of the uni club.

Why Saint Petersburg?

They offered me a job there.

Right.

If you have no family, no job here

that's the right decision. You gotta leave.

Actually I have a husband in Moscow.

Okay, breath out.

In three hours

you'll get a divorce.

I set it up. They're waiting for us.

First, online, now a letter, what's next?

Maybe grandma simply wants

nobody but me to read the letter.

I'll get that letter.

Should we ask the working hands

to join us?

He hasn't done enough for it.

Well, then...

Babe, you know my motto.

Walk through life smiling, slug the bug

and keep you head high.

And I wanna spend the jail time

I get left with you.

Whatever happens, I promise

you'll be feed and safe!

- Marry me. - Gosha,

it's been three years since we separated.

Not really.

Here,

I, Kiseleva Kristina, promise

to marry Gosha Shilov

a.k.a. cockatoo.

Only if he, me,

will pay my uni fees.

Date, signature.

And these are receipts for three years.

- All done. - Gosha, I haven't got my diploma yet.

It's two more years.

I'll take you without it.

I need a heir, I see no reason to delay it.

Then look here.

I'm Molchanov

Arison Anatolievich.

Slow down, coxcomb. Done with garden-bed?

Kasimir, your boy went nuts.

I'm not his boy.

I'm Kristina's boy. I'm against a wedding.

We're going to Moscow.

You walked into the wrong bloody life, boy.

And you better watch your mouth.

- Let's talk man to man. - Let's.

I have the muscle to back it up.

I'm not a pussy.

Life is like a stewed tea.

And become a real dude,

do you copy that?

I feel so bad for yesterday.

I'm not saint too.

I know how hard it was for you.

I know Zhanna well and I'm surprised

she's okay with being ex wife.

- Ex wife? - Tonight I'll become

the most eligible bachelor in Russia.

Zhanna agreed to divorce.

I never thought I'd say it

but I wanna hug Zhanna.

I ate that lunch and now I've diarrhea

but Nikita Emelianov has a pill

Stop Diarrhea Extra.

- What's up, bro. - Bad news.

Lika got a letter from her grandma.

- From? - Can you imagine?

I didn't read it but I think

grandma can expose us somehow.

What a freaking letter?

A letter, handwritten with words.

She found out we're monitoring email.

You gotta get that letter from her.

If I can't do that do I make Lika blind?

If it what it takes, yes. Goa sky is nicer

than sky above the Khimki forest.

Chegid's people went back.

Recalled our debt.They gave us a week.

Hurry up with the fat werewolf otherwise...

- Let me take a look real fat. - Kristina.

- The grooms ran away. - Gosha seem to think it's 90's again.

If Molchanov knew who

he was messing with...

- Grandpa, open the gates. - Okay.

Sexiness

If I was a postman, I'd give you letters

and a parcel. Very sexy.

Kirill, hide in a room, okay?

He'll think you're my boyfriend

and being sexy won't help.

Naughty boy.

- I'll punish you for being... Hello? - Hello.

Sorry for bothering. We all got work to do.

Does Angelica

Vershinina live here?

If you were divorcing tomorrow

this vehicle would be just fine.

You won't make it till 4 pm.

So put it in a trunk. I'll give you a ride.

Can wait to get a divorce?

I was a real man when she was with me.

And now I'm stampeding all over the scene,

can't get things done.

Same shit.

Without her, my music is bullshit.

Can't eat anymore.

I can't even look at other girls.

Actually you're the man.

- Gosha, - Don't interrupt me!

Why would a wolf like me get between you?

Get Kristina.

I'm done.

What did you do? He let you go

- and after that he may not remember it. - Idiot,

I hit him so he wouldn't kill you.

Welcome to Saratov, baby!

He was waiting for his pals to end you.

What pals? He opened a brit can with it.

Gosha, bro, wake up! Come on!

His friends are here. Hurry, come on!

Kirill, a postman came.

I mean postwoman.

If I knew, I wouldn't wash my hair.

And you'd be

the prettiest anyway.

Kirill, could you please help me?

Use your charm and get the letter, please.

Unfortunately, Angelica's not home

and God knows when she's coming back.

Sorry for bothering.

Let's make her come for it herself.

You're right. It's crazy

to go down and up stairs all day.

Nice plan if it was not getting the letter.

- Where are you going? - I think you said

Kristina got you a baseball bat.

- Yes, to fight back the hooligans. - Get it, it's time.

If they ask why we're divorcing,

I'll tell you can't change a tire.

Shit, registry office closes at 4 pm.

Damn.

Hello, can I get a taxi to...

- What street is it? - Shkolnaya street.

Shkolnaia street, right now, ASAP.

No, an hour is too long. I gotta go to

a registry office. It's life changing.

No, I gotta go to maternity hospital.

I gotta go to maternity hospital.

I'm giving birth. Right now.

Do you hear it?

I'm sorry, bye.

There are no available cars anyway.

My bike. We'll get there fast through park.

- No. - Yes.

You're frail, can you not being a sissy?

Can you not being a bully and cheer me up?

You've my superhero, my sunshine, I know

you're the best. Can you please get here?

Faster, you, sissy!

We're done, boy. Good-luck in ambulance.

Four flats on each floor

and hence twenty mailboxes. Three seconds

throw in each receipt.

So she's coming in three, two, one.

- It's time. - Should I hit hard?

For dear life. Do it!

- Hello. - Hello.

It's like that every night.

- What are you doing? - Pal, what are you doing?

That's where we took pics on our wedding!

Let's stop for a second! Come on!

Just for a second! Stop!

Let's do first even photos on a divorce.

Divorce album?

- I wouldn't ruin it for sure. - I knew. Come on!

- Excuse me! Could you take a photo? - Sure.

Get on your knees. Come on!

We gotta run!

Got it? You messed with the wrong girl. I

have been a mail woman for five years.

Banditry is in broad daylight.

- Kirill, are you okay? - Here's the accomplice.

That's okay. There's place for you in jail.

Especially for you.

This woman brought us letter and

stole an expensive clock. We want it back.

- What clock? - Golden, 19th century with angels on it.

Take it out of your bag and we'll see.

Can you do that for experimental purpose?

What a thief!

Let's make her come for it herself.

- He dropped it to me. - Really?

And I'm missing my TV.

I thought Vova did it. Call the police.

Don't call anyone!

I could start with that.

I never got tased before. Wanted to know

what its like.

Thank you and I'm sorry for all that but

my life depends on this letter.

Hi, mom!

Me and Roma made peace.

I wanna a romantic dinner for him.

And I let you dad know that

we're staying at grandma's place tonight.

Gosha, you're not God father!

We broke up, what else? Let us go.

Okay, pay me what you owe me

and get off to Rio De Janeiro or whatever.

I should have hit him harder.

- Where can I get that money from? - You should have thought before,

apple of my eye.

- Going to the registry office tomorrow? - Yes, tomorrow.

- What? - To the DMV.

Get my car. It's around three million.

Molchanov, slow down. Let me marry him.

He'll get killed if not now, later.

Crazy? That's you dad's car

He'll kill you.

I don't care as long as I'm with you.

If you want that, of course.

Gosha, untie it.

Romeo passed the test.

If he's ready to die for his Juliette,

we can save him today. I forgive you.

Was that a test?

- Stop! - I'm becoming Othello or whoever

strangled his chick. Gosha, untie me!

Nah, a bogus ended up a second ago.

- Now it's real. - Gosha, stop improvising.

Can you imagine? I fell for you again.

And I won't let you go. We're gonna live

happily ever after the end of my jail time.

Come,

- where? - Come on! Do it!

- What are you saying? - It's not pouring rain.

Zhanna, stop! You'll get wet.

A sick list instead of divorce papers?

I thought you wanted to get rid

of your wife's tyranny.

You're not a tyrant, Zhanna.

The rain is so warm.

Remember? Just like in Odessa that time.

When you said kissing on the beach

was indecent, and then said we didn't

need to go to our room?

Listen, featherless cockatoo,

untie us now! I said now!

Relax, you gotta give birth to my kids.

I will let me just discuss with my friends

what to do with your Moscow boy. Leave or

make fish food out of him?

It's pretty obvious!

Untie them.

I will not let my granddaughter

marry such a bastard.

Kasimir, put your rifle down.

I said untie them.

My fingers can cramp

and you'll get a hole in your head.

- Crazy idiot! - Shut the f*ck up. It's alright.

Problems are canceled.

He knows the whole Prosecutor's Office.

We don't need problems. Hurry!

- Let's saddle up, boys. - Hurry!

God forbid I see you in my dreams!

- Grandpa, how did you find us? - I didn't.

Your fear stinks.

Okay, guys, my moped is around the corner.

I'll get back by feet.

- Leave as soon as you pack your stuff. - No.

You bastard, make her cry once more and

I'll get to Moscow and kick your ass.

It'll be fine, grandpa. You have my word.

Do it.

Yalta? Grandma went to a boarding house.

When she got back she was angry for coming

back faster than this postcard.

It's been seven years. Russian post.

I miss you too, grandma.

Congrats to my loved divorcee.

I hope new stamp in your passport

left place for a wedding stamp.

Zhenya, I'm sorry.

We should live separately for some time.

Thank you.

- I'm sorry. If I knew it was a postcard. - Even in that case

I'd do everything I can for you to get it.

What did a grandma write to her monster?

Asked you to f*ck off, idiot.

- Did someone call? - No, it's reminder for me

to kiss you.

- I'm sorry, couldn't stop myself. - Am I changing because of your kisses now?

So let's kiss after 6 pm.

How am I suppose to take examinations now?

Sorry but I gotta kiss Nikita.