Original subtitles

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I need to tell you something.

Relax. I know everything.

How?

It is all my excessive observation and love for detectives.

You have too many books about weight loss, but you are not fat.

Either you gained 200 grams of weight and freaked out

or these books belonged to someone big and beautiful.

I found something.

Have you photoshopped yourself?

No. It is...

It is my sister. Wi...

Ly... Willy!

My cousin from Estonia.

This is the same wonderful girl.

I do not know what is happening to her.

But I do know that I love her.

Elementary, my dear Watson.

ANGELICA

Big Lika is with us again.

When did you transform?

It happened when something happened between me and Kirill.

I think now I become fat because of Kirill.

Why Kirill? Maybe it is because Nikita.

Cheated on a guy, cheated on the body.

No. There is no connection with Nikita anymore.

I think I transform because of Kirill.

By the way,

he said yesterday that he loves me even when I am like this.

I think I am falling for him.

Or maybe I just want to forget Nikita.

Girls, I am confused! What does Kirill mean to me?

Do I still have feelings for Nikita?

If we discuss everything now, we will be bored at the lecture.

- See you in class. - What class? Lika is on the vacation.

That is why I do not paint my nails.

Formaldehyde destroys gray matter, especially when there is little of it.

Zhenya, can you tell in the class that Lika has ARVI?

- I do not like lying. You know it... - Zhenya.

I think I have lost one of my abs six-pack.

Fine, I will tell. Bye.

I will take you to Vershinina in the evening.

We are strong women. We can move the stuff.

- We can handle with cheating. - Thank you, Margarita Sergeevna.

I do not like the idea of ruining my shoes with heavy bags.

Good morning, girls. Eat well.

We do not need a prelude, though.

Mom, give me money for the cafeteria.

Mommy?

I am not asking money for gambling.

However, eating in the cafeteria is risky too.

Kristina, do you know

why is this idiot with a nest on the head walking around?

What do you mean? I do not see anybody.

Is this because of that girl?

You left this pretty man alone, and, of course, she threw herself at me.

So, is it our fault that you let your testosterone out?

Well, yes. Maybe I did not resist for us.

I was freshening our relationships.

- Maybe I should refresh them too. - Yes.

No problem. I am not going to complain like you.

- I give you my cat word. - If it is a cat's word, we will see, then.

- Is it you? - No.

It is united, decent

average, Russian family.

Hello, Angela.

Ivan Davidovich needs to make a campaign commercial.

But we can not do it at our home.

Yes, because the phrase "We are united, decent, average family."

sounds bad when there are gilded baseboards.

You could have said that all people will live like that soon. In 300 years.

Well, it is modest and poor,

but classy.

Thank to you each Russian will understand that soon

he will be happy, modern

- And well-fed. - Of course. Tell me, the word average...

Quick, quick.

Look, Zhenya. Where is Lika?

- The ARVI is an official version. - What about not official?

I wanted to take her to the musical.

She is on the vacation since yesterday.

If you know what I mean.

Thank you.

Students have the legal basis of journalism now.

Not basis of serfdom.

You do not have a workshop on how to stick your nose where one does not belong either.

According to the Article 50 of Education Act

you can not to make students to do such kind of actions.

And so you can continue to show off here,

according to the Russian federation labor code,

you have to complete a probationary period.

It is not me who says so, it is your favorite code.

For that matter,

let's put our complaints in a writing form

and send them to the Department of Education.

Do you like the idea?

Very nice. Everyone go to the lecture!

Excuse me, does this act have an article

that forbids students to come if they do no want to?

What a nasty woman.

We need to erect a statue of her.

The first person who knocked the dean out.

- We will get along with Zhanna Federovna. - You have something in common.

Burdukovskaya has the same taste as you. She likes you ex too.

Zhanna and I are divorced. It is all in the past.

- I will explain Zhenya everything tonight. - You better hope she won't hang you.

Instead of Gandalf.

Well. We have one minute.

Try again, raise it up.

Take a piece of the Russian loaf,

smear butter

and above...

What is it above? Just butter?

Just butter.

Just butter.

Luxury foods are for other

other entrep...

- Entrep.... - Entrepreneurs?

- Other candidates. - Other candidates!

- Write in Russian. - All my average family just loves Kirill.

He is perfect. Maybe I will love him someday too.

After Diana's words, "Daddy often comes home tired"

your line is "But even at home

he thinks about problems of housing and community amenities."

Housing and community amenities.

- Understood? - Yes.

Camera, action!

Shults. Truth, family, Russia.

Scene one, shot one, take one.

- Go! - I am a son of the nation.

And I can say without shame

that we live simply

but united.

You know, we ask neighbors for salt

and borrow money until the salary.

I wish I could thrown Nikita from my heart, and put Kirill there.

He is honest, caring and a good kisser.

Not as good as Nikita, though. Stop it!

No more thoughts about Nikita. What is so special about him?

- He comes home tired. - Damn cheater!

What?

- Even at home he thinks about problems. - Stop it!

The lecture is going to be held. Go in the classroom.

What do you need here?

Do not tell me you got this job for money.

There is something more important than money.

Love, for example.

- That is still there. - I do not have it there.

And lived we not long and not happily.

Until divorce certificate got us apart.

Divorce certificate, I do not remember this.

- Do you have it, by the way? - It is in the registry office.

I have not got round to getting it.

But I will get in the near future.

I will hang it next to diplomas and will enjoy it.

The thing is you can not get something which does not exist.

I called it off.

So there are no divorce records.

Romochka, we are still

husband

and wife.

Congratulations.

Should I make out with Nikita? He is pretty and single.

He is my friend. No friends and friends of friends.

The librarian.

He is not going to agree. You did not return books.

Yes, you did not return.

Guard Gennady. I like men in uniforms.

Kiseleva, you are....

How did you like me? Your taste is awful.

That is why I liked you. Wish me luck.

Will you pay?

Friends, I am terrified from prices as well.

I needed bread yesterday, went to the store.

Brown bread costs 22 rubles.

And I get stand on my own two feet.

I can not imagine what young families feel.

I am going to support,

and I supported,

new social units.

It would be more compelling if there would be a partner for the old daughter.

Who are you?

Partner of the old daughter.

Why did not you tell me that you family is this big?

Put him in the scene.

You will be husband and wife.

Congratulations.

New deputy dean is so cool.

To give this succinct lecture

and to put the dean in her place.

High IQ and beautiful.

I would not say so.

- Just a usual teacher. - It is good you think so.

What if I get jealous.

I do not want to go to the department every minute.

I am kidding.

- Register! - Zhenya, I am...

I do not see spilled coffee, it means you did not tell her.

I decided to wait.

Also Zhenya has a birthday tomorrow.

Yes, she won't like this present.

The happiest moments are

when all family

go to Istra on the train.

I am picking up the mushrooms. My wife is cooking ukha.

Daughters and son-in-law are singing Russian songs.

So heartwarming.

I remember we were singing a song at the Angela and Kirill wedding.

What wedding, Lika? What is going on?

Can you be quiet?

Why is an unauthorized person on the set?

What? You are an unauthorized person. Lika!

I am sorry, he came to me.

Break!

Hi.

I told you to stay away from me.

Roma, I just want you back.

I mean I want to give back your stuff. Here a few of your books, a charger.

The ties I gave you.

I left them on purpose.

Look. You definitely remember all this.

Do you remember how happy you got when you were looking at wedding photos?

If you ever again...

Nikita, it was just a commercial!

By the way, you lost your right to get mad a few months ago.

Why did you come?

Not to fight for sure. I wanted to take you to the musical.

We can still be friends, I have two tickets.

Why not three? Is Ulya not coming?

I do not know, maybe with someone else. I broke up with her.

Really? Do you know what?

I will go to warn my neighbor downstairs

that I am going to flood her with tears of happiness.

Wait. How did you do it?

I should not have transformed.

You can not control me anymore.

How could you do this to our wedding book?

Why did not you flush it down the toilet?

- Roma! - You always get good ideas too late.

Right. It is not only our memories.

Other people would be interested to see it as well.

Trying to blackmail me.

Stand watch for Gena and me.

Are you serious?

Of course. I take our open relationships very seriously.

I am not going to let you down. Gena?

Are you crazy?

Just play along and I will send you photos of our drunk students.

Got it?

- Come to me, my zebra. - Are you insane?

Not impressive.

Gena, bite her earlobe. She loves it.

It worked.

Well, enough.

Kris, do we call it even?

- Yes. - Come out, then.

I am not talking to you.

- Stop it. - Gena!

Get your teeth off her!

You posted it on my page!

It says that we are dating on my page. What will my bros think?

Damn, two likes already.

Get off her!

Fire! They won't give me bonus.

Fire! Escape!

You have to become fat immediately!

So we can finish this commercial.

Mom, I can not.

- The last time I did this when Kirill... - What?

Kissed you?

Not just kissed.

That night with Kirill was a mistake.

I think I do not love him.

I am sorry we did not offer you tea. Lika and I have guests.

I do not get it. Where is everybody?

Friend, how did you cope with Lika's transformations?

I can not get used to it.

We need to buy a new bed, the old one is almost broken.

- It is not about the weight, you know. - Jerk!

Freshmen again.

The first year students must have burned the register.

Who would have thought.

Congratulations! Live happily ever after.

They have known each other for two days and already got married.

Well?

Call me when you insert the implant.

And prepare money for the second shooting day.

Hey you! Do you know how much money I have lost?

Let's go.

Get off the way.

It is like you have the need to destroy everything.

You should be isolated from people and wear a sign.

Be aware of Nikita who screws everything up!

Go away, please.

Do not come again.

You have just proved that our breakup is for the best.

I understood what an idiot I was.

Kris, I love you.

What are you whispering?

I am not whispering.

I...

Kris, you heard me.

- I thought she would leave before... - Before you make me look like a fool?

She is your ex wife. I would understand everything.

Not exactly.

It turned out she is my wife now.

She messed up with documents and...

Why is there no a cure from love?

Some antilove. Or antinikitin for me.

So I could stop suffering because of this jerk Nikita.

Kirill is so good and caring.

Maybe I just need more time?

Owlet, remember. Love does not come immediately.

It is only on its way. Go for it.

Owlet, remember.

Love does not come immediately. It is only on its way.

Are you crazy? Have you lost your mind?

Who is going to conduct the morning broadcast?

Go home! You are jerk from....

What is wrong with you?

Vyacheslav, I...

I am sorry...