Original subtitles

START Online Premieres

Hi, I'm Lika. Lika Vershinina.

What else can I say about myself that isn't on my social network profile?

I guess, I'm quite pretty.

Although, only my granny said so.

So, I'm just an ordinary girl without any special features.

Well, not exactly. There's one little feature.

I weigh 80 kilos.

LIKA VERSHININA, 21. BIRTHDAY TODAY! HOORAY!

Oh, you saw it. 99 kilos.

But it doesn't bother me at all.

I haven't been always like this. Not so long ago I weighed 40.

But it was 15 years ago, actually.

ANGELICA

Lika!

Happy Birthday!

Today is my birthday, by the way. And this is my classmate Kristina.

Kristina asked to spend a night at my place once.

We've been living together for three years since then.

Kristina doesn't look great right now, but she's very pretty, actually.

Kristina is nice and funny.

But boys like her because of this.

Are you going to the university?

Lika, I'm paying for my tuition. I don't have to be there.

Now there's a line in university, too. Awesome.

Excuse me, one moment, please!

Sweetie, can you shrink a bit?

Come on, tuck your tummy!

Guys, let's help Lika. All together just push!

And one more time!

LYOHA MOLCHANOV, 21. A TROLL.

I'm sorry, Roman Alekseevich!

You almost killed Roman Alekseevich. Are you fine?

It's nothing.

ROMAN ALEKSEEVICH, 35. A PROFESSOR.

Next time do the same but harder and before the exams, my sweetie.

This is my university. I'm a third-year student of the department of journalism.

I have a lot of friends here.

ULYA, 21. B-B...ITCH.

You know Lyoha already.

And this is Zhenya, my best friend.

I mean, this is Zhenya. The monitor of our group.

ZHENYA BURDUKOVSKAYA, 20. A MONITOR.

She hasn't missed a single period for three years.

And I guess, she'll never miss one no matter what.

Happy Birthday, Vershinina. I'm not going to kiss you, and you know why.

Because about a thousand bacteria are transmitted through a kiss.

Vershinina, ten thousand bacteria! And Epstein–Barr virus as well.

Here, it's an invitation for my birthday party. Will you come?

If there's alcohol there, I won't.

Zhenya, if there's no alcohol, no one but you will come.

But if it is there, everyone will get drunk and start smoking.

If they start smoking, they'll open the window.

If they open it, I'll get bronchitis and pneumonia,

won't be able to attend the elective history of journalism

and I'll ruin my good relationship with the Dean. I won't graduate with honors

and get into a prestigious publishing house.

I'll face drinking, unplanned pregnancy, oblivion and a painful death in poverty.

Is this what you wish for me?

Put it away immediately then.

But Zhenya!

BEST STUDENTS OF THE DEPARTMENT OF JOURNALISM

ANGELICA VERSHININA - 3RD YEAR EVGENIYA BURDUKOVSKAYA - 3RD YEAR

Come to my birthday party!

Girls! It's my birthday today. Come to my party, it'll be cool.

- Katusha, come to my... - Damn!

- Sorry. - You should have a plate on your butt -

"Skidding is up to two meters."

Guys, I want you all to congratulate me.

I got my driver's license yesterday.

Actually, your father bought it for you.

So I'm having a party tonight, and I invite you all!

- What a big deal. - I disagree.

She tried to get it three times.

MARGARITA SERGEEVNA. THE DEAN. (SAYS SHE'S 35, LOL)

Good afternoon. Write down today's topic:

"The problems of modern journalism."

Damn, I hoped so much that he'd come to my party.

NIKITA, 22. CUTIE, ANGEL, SWEETIE, HONEY, CUPCAKE.

Nikita is the most handsome guy among all the third-year students.

He's so handsome that other guys don't get mad

if their girlfriends leave them for him.

Some of them are even proud of it.

Hello! I'm sorry, I'm a little late.

The reason is that there was no hot water at my place in the morning.

So I had to go and ask my neighbor for a saucepan.

- I don't have such things, you know. - He's so sweet.

Nikita, you may say whatever you want - we'll be listening to you forever.

- And not just us. - Hi, I'm Nikita Emelianov,

and you're watching Z-TV channel.

Nikita is the only one among the third-year students who works in our field.

And it's so cool, as I can see him on TV and then re-watch the show on the Net.

I ran out of hot water, and I was all covered in shower gel, and naked.

- It was a disaster! I thought... - Say no more, Nikita.

Come in and lie down. I mean, sit down.

Thank you.

He's just awesome!

Unfortunately, for all three years of studying Nikita looked at me only once.

MAY 14, 2012. LOOKED AT ME FOR THE FIRST TIME.

It was the best moment of my life anyway, because he looked at me.

That's enough for today. You may be free.

Roman Alekseevich, I'm so sorry. Again.

That's okay. Stepanov will just have to rewrite the essay one more time.

Or maybe just to print it out from the Internet again.

I've already told you, you have to kill him right before the exams, not earlier.

Ulya! Ulya, can I have a moment?

Why don't we merge our parties into one? My birthday and your driving license.

It's going to be fun: charades, quizzes, a cake!

Honey, I'd love to if I were five and just like you.

She's just a bitch.

Who needs her? This slim beautiful bitch with great legs.

But the most important thing isn't beauty,

it's determination - granny always said that.

Unfortunately, she didn't say where to find it.

Hello.

I'd like to invite you all to my party at my place tonight.

Another party? What's the occasion?

NOVEMBER 13, 2013. LOOKED AT ME FOR THE 2ND TIME

She probably has some extra food which she doesn't want to throw away.

Usually I don't have extra food.

Well, here.

There's my address here. I'll be waiting for you, okay?

Here. See you later.

Nikita looked at me for the second time.

He'll come and see that I'm funny, a great housewife

and I have an apartment downtown.

Zhenya, it's a pity you won't come. It will be awesome!

Everyone will come!

INVITATION FOR A BIRTHDAY PARTY

Kristina, hi. Where are you? The party is already in full swing.

Lika, I'm sorry, I can't come - my uncle died.

My father's cousin, actually. From Mytishchi.

Oh no, my condolences.

Why is there music there?

The traditions in Mytishchi are very odd.

Sorry, I can't talk. I need to say the last goodbye to my uncle.

Kristina!

Well, what a glorious birthday.

Only two friends and the email service congratulated me.

Actually, the last was the most sincere.

If my granny was there, she would say,

"Lika, keep going and you will succeed. But don't forget to put on warm tights!"

Well, do they want it or not?

No, I can't come to the party uninvited.

But I've brought you whiskey though.

Well,

if cow doesn't give milk but gives whiskey, it's a needed cow then! Welcome!

Come on!

Kristina?

Lika! I didn't recognize you. Hi! What are you doing here?

What are you doing here? And what about you father's cousin?

Oh, him! He's better now.

You said he was dead.

Alright, guys, how is it going?

Great! It's time to light up some fire in here.

We're going to play twister! Get it ready.

And our first participant is the most handsome, the most stylish guy.

He's the coolest guy, of course after me, my man Nikita!

Please put your hands together for him!

Great, we have Nikita, now we need more participants.

That's what I'm talking about.

Lika, look. It's Nikita! You should go!

Come on, you should play twister with him!

His touch is like a cake after a one-week diet.

I see we've got a new participant. Now no one will fit because of her.

So, Uliana, you're out.

Sorry, I just want to have a good laugh.

Your eyes are so beautiful.

Nikita, you're lucky she didn't kill you!

It doesn't matter. Nikita, I've filmed everything, can you believe it?

Now this video will definitely get 200K views!

- Be careful! - It hurts so much!

Careful!

Granny, what is wrong with me?

You were always saying that appearance wasn't important.

That I would be happy anyway.

But nothing works out for me in my life.

Nothing

works out.

I can't stand it anymore!

I can't!

Holy smokes!

Granny, granny!

Granny, dear, it's the best birthday present ever!

It's awesome! It's unbelievably awesome!

Thank you so much!

Thank you, granny, thank you!

Unbelievable!

My whole butt can finally be seen in the mirror!

Don't move! Who are you? Where's Lika?

- Kristina, it's me. I'm Lika! - Stop lying!

Lika couldn't have lost a hundred kilos in one day!

Actually, it's 50.

She wasn't able to lose half a kilo for ten years

- but managed to lose 50 kilos in one day? - I can prove!

- What can you prove? - I can prove it!

- What can you prove? - I can prove it!

You wear a push-up bra to make your breasts size C.

Only Vershinina knew about this!

- And she promised not to tell anyone! - Well?

It means she told everyone! That fat cow!

Listen, it's me! I'm that fat cow!

I mean, I'm not fat anymore. And why cow? It's offensive!

Fine. Your mustache bleaching agent is in our bathroom

- in the chocolate box. - Shut up, Vershinina!

- Vershinina? Is it you? - Yes.

Is it really you?

That is totally unbelievable!

Why are you so surprised? Yes, I lost 50 kilos, so what?

- 50 kilos! - 50 kilos!

Wait, why am I so happy?

- Now I'm the fattest in our apartment. - Yes, yes! Can you believe it? Hooray!

Sorry.

Wait, how did it happen?

It's magic. My granny's present.

What are you talking about? What magic?

Is it really magic?

Granny, dear, can I have bigger boobs?

- It doesn't work. - Kristina, get away from granny.

Listen, make us coffee, alright?

Coffee.

- You think, you can order now? - Yes.

Go and make some coffee.

Kristina! I need your clothes!

Hi, Zhenya. Did you get my text?

Now look at me with your own eyes!

- What do you say? - I can't share your joy.

I've checked the forums to find information about the symptom of sudden weight loss.

It's Сushing's syndrome - rapid weight loss and green urine.

Zhenya, I don't have any Cushing.

And green urine as well. It's magic!

- Now there're paranoid delusions as well. - Zhenya!

No disease can make a person lose 50 kilos overnight.

Let's assume that. But I advise you not to tell anyone about it.

Otherwise you can be kidnapped by some special services for experiments.

Or even worse - fat women will attack you and drink your blood to lose weight too.

Zhenya, you're the one having paranoid delusions.

- Hello. - Hello.

I guess, you're right.

It's better to keep it secret for now.

Vershinina, if you're going to eat so much, you will weigh 100 kilos again.

You are right.

It's Nikita!

Don't worry, he won't recognize you.

Unless you break his other arm.

Nikita, let me cut your chop. It's hard to do it with one hand.

Or I can feed you if you want.

Wow! I wish I had a broken arm.

You can ask Vershinina, she's a pro in this sphere.

A big fat clumsy pro.

Actually, she was pushed.

Where is this sound coming from?

Why are you defending this idiot? You weren't there.

Who are you, by the way?

I'm Lika.

I mean, I'm her sister - Vika.

Victoria. And Lika isn't an idiot.

She's nice and kind, right?

She's a bit plump.

But she's a beautiful girl anyway.

You can't understand it, though.

You don't care about a person's inner world.

The most important things in your life are to have slim legs and sexy butt.

So you and your slim legs may kiss your sexy butt.

- What? - Ulya, you promised to cut the chop.

Wait up.

Your eyes are so beautiful.

Have we ever met before?

Well...

Let's go see a movie then.

There's something about zombies now. Do you like zombies?

Yes, they are so cute.

I mean, they are cute when they don't eat people.

Well, I'm waiting for a text with your address then. I'll come at 7, okay?

- Okay. - See you then.

Bye.

It's so romantic that I want to puke.

It's your first date, so don't you dare

- sleep with him. - Kiss him.

- Well, you got this. Good luck! - Thank you!

And be sure to put antiviral ointment in the nose.

- Because if you don't... - Let's go!

Thank you, girls!

No. No, no, no, granny!

Granny, dear, it's just started to be alright, please!

Make me slim again, granny! Please, please, please, granny!

Today was the happiest day of my life!

I felt beautiful, wanted.

And I experienced one wonderful thing - I managed to use not the last belt loop!

I'm very grateful to you, granny.

You gave me one wonderful day.

Granny, I needed it yesterday!

But thank you anyway!