Original subtitles

NARRATOR: Previously on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills--"

I miss my husband.

I'm not used to working out without him.

I always want to stay on the tip of my toe to be

in the best shape I can be.

I want to be married to him longer

than any of his ex-wives.

Brandi, what really did go down between you and Adrienne?

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Adrienne thought

that I was her little whipping girl, but guess what?

I'm not your puppet, bitch.

I flat out told her that she was completely out of line.

She got very upset with me.

You deserve all of that.

Shut the [BLEEP] up!

Hey, Kyle.

You know Mauricio and I had an issue the last time

we saw each other.

And I just want to know that moving forward we're

in a good place.

My allegiance is, of course, to Adrienne,

but I have been working on my friendship with Brandi.

It's a balancing act.

You know what?

Don't worry.

I really don't hold a grudge.

I have a little Vegas trip coming up.

And I would love for you to come.

And I know that you're probably weary about spending

a couple days with me.

We don't want to come.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Life isn't all diamonds and rosé,

but it should be.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Money doesn't give you class.

It just gives you money.

ADRIENNE MALOOF: Know your friends.

Show your enemies the door.

TAYLOR ARMSTRONG: I fought too hard for this zip code

to go home now.

YOLANDA FOSTER: I like to have fun, but I don't play games.

KIM RICHARDS: Life is a journey.

And I'm finding myself every day.

KYLE RICHARDS: I'm born and raised in Beverly Hills.

This is my town.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

It's really important for me to live a healthy lifestyle.

In Beverly Hills, ageing is a huge thing for the women.

They shoot up their face with Botox,

and, you know, pull the face.

And they don't look any younger.

They just look more pulled.

So why not embrace ageing?

Let's just hold onto it gracefully.

Hi.

Hi, honey.

How are you?

Good to see you.

My beautiful friend.

How are you?

You look so gorgeous.

Look at yourself.

I've known Suzanne Somers for about six years.

And I've heard about "Three's Company,"

but I've never seen the show.

How is everything?

Great.

You see, that's the great thing about you.

You always say great.

I see the glass half full.

I just am always in a state of feeling uplifted.

And I think that's why.

Let's go in and learn about hormones.

Come on.

My hormones are raging.

Hey, girls.

You're here.

And on time!

Yeah.

Oh, my god.

That is great.

It wasn't me that was late that time, remember?

Hi, darling.

I'm teasing.

How are you?

Girls, I wanted you to meet Suzanne.

Hello, how are you?

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Nice to see you.

How are you?

Nice to see you too.

Would you like-- you guys like a real European Bellini?

Yeah, absolutely.

I made the peaches myself this morning.

Here I am having lunch with Lisa,

Yolanda, and Chrissy Snow.

Cheers, girls.

Cheers.

Who's Chrissy Snow?

Cheers.

Thanks.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Look at this.

Oh, my goodness.

It's a little chilly-- it's a little chilly today.

It's Maliby.

It's fabulous.

I hope you all like chicken.

I made my favourite--

Did you make this?

Yes, I made my favourite salad.

Great.

Yum.

All the yummy things.

And beautiful.

She has a sense of aesthetics that is just

beyond what most people have.

Oh, you're so cute.

No, it's true.

The greatest event I ever went to

was her wedding, walking from tent to tent.

And just when you think Botticelli is the big thing,

you look behind you, and it's Mohamed Ali.

Anyway, enough about me.

I just wanted you guys all to meet,

and I thought it'd be fun.

I am actually a very big fan of Suzanne Somers' books.

I'm interested in the topic she talks about.

She says, basically, that if you eat the right foods,

you take the right vitamins, that you can live forever.

I just never thought at my age that I

could feel this good or--

Look this good.

Look at her.

She's better than ever.

[LAUGHS] Well, I do this a lot.

- That's all anti-- - I do these.

WOMAN: Oh, Lord. - --anti-ageing?

No, but I couldn't take 40 pills a day.

I plan to live to be 110.

Yay!

I honestly do.

Me, too!

LISA VANDERPUMP (VOICEOVER): There's no way I can swallow

that many pills in one day.

I'm not good at swallowing things-- just ask my husband.

If your brain is working, and you've got energy--

and you're sexual, and there's nothing wrong with you--

You want to be sexual at 110?

Yes.

Oh, good Lord.

KIM RICHARDS: Yeah, there's a new way to age.

My grandmother lived till she was 100.

But the thought of having sex? KIM RICHARDS: Well, but that's--

[LAUGHS]

I think-- [INAUDIBLE].

Nobody wants to think of their grandmother having sex.

You need hormone replacement, Lisa.

I do not need h--

I'm running perfectly.

I've always felt like--

Yeah, you have a high sex drive?

I don't know.

Compared to?

CAST MEMBER: Come on-- tell us the truth.

[STUTTERS INCOHERENTLY]

It's working, guys.

If it ain't broken, don't try and fix it.

I don't even know.

I wouldn't even know.

I don't have any symptoms.

Oh, come on, Lisa.

You better get some of those pills, Lisa.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Give me the whole bag.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): I was asked to host

Brandi's Night School 4 Girls--

stripper classes and burlesque classes--

party party.

Hi!

- I'm Brandi [INAUDIBLE]. - [INAUDIBLE]

So nice to meet you.

Wow, you are tall and beautiful.

Aw, thank you. I'm so excited!

Yeah, so.

All right, let me get naked.

Yeah, get naked.

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): I was never a stripper,

but my ex-husband bought me a pole for our bedroom--

trying to save the marriage at the stripper pole.

So stupid.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So I'm doing these things in Vegas,

and I'm doing these parties.

And part of the parties are pole dancing.

And I'm thinking-- they have, like, Las Vegas

people teaching the classes.

Absolutely.

But I want to not be an [BLEEP]..

I want to be able to do a little bit of stuff.

TEACHER: Yeah.

Like, show me a couple moves today that'll be like, oh, I

bet she's a freak behind doors.

TEACHER: Yeah.

And then really not.

I just want to look good, but I really need

to have a little bit of sass.

TEACHER: [INAUDIBLE]

You know?

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): It is my first time

I'm going to be kind of financially independent,

so I have to do things that are going to make me be OK.

So this came along, and I said yes.

Well, let's get warmed up. BRANDI GLANVILLE: OK.

Because the first thing you have to do is you

got to get your sexy on, and you got to get your body moving.

And when the female body moves into the integrity

of her body-- oh, there's nothing more beautiful.

OK, first thing I want you to do--

look at how I'm rippling.

I'm taking my back, and I'm concaving it--

yes!

Stretch it like a kitty cat, and then inhale--

come forward all the way.

Lift those gorgeous curves--

beautiful.

Lift your face up, Brandi, and then come around to the left--

a big, slow, yummy circle.

And then exhale all the way back.

So like-- I love that-- let your leg

lift-- let everything ripple.

You should just move like--

hilarious.

[LAUGHS]

When you give your body over to the pole, boom!

It just shows off the beauty of your body.

I want a pole to give my body over to, like a real one.

Yes!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Whatever!

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): I think that

by inviting the girls to Vegas and showing them a fun time,

like, I want to show them all the sides of Brandi.

What!

Hello, merry Christmas!

I am fun, but I can also be sophisticated at the same time.

I definitely let all of my inhibitions go.

Hip out-- yeah!

OK.

OK, suckers.

Now, that's going to be killer.

I found my mojo--

a little.

Look at that!

Yes!

Wow!

That was hot!

Yo-ho!

We're done!

Thank you again!

Super super fun.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Everybody come downstairs!

Sophia?

I'm already down here!

Oh, OK-- Alexia?

KYLE RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): Today is Sophia's sixth grade

graduation, and we're celebrating

with family and friends.

I'm so proud of her.

She's growing so fast, and next year's already her bat mitzvah.

How cute is this?

That's beautiful.

KYLE RICHARDS: Auntie Faye!

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[DOORBELL RINGS]

[KNOCKING]

Hello!

Yay!

You made it.

Oh, my Gosh.

Mmm.

CAST MEMBER (VOICEOVER): I do need support from my friends,

and a few have reached out.

Come on in and grab plate.

Where's the girl?

CAST MEMBER (VOICEOVER): Kyle and Mauricio--

Faye-- Camille and Kim have been very supportive.

I wouldn't expect Lisa to, and I wouldn't expect Brandi to.

Hi!

Sit next to Adrienne.

Hi, pretty.

Hi, [INAUDIBLE]!

How are you?

I miss you!

The situation with Brandi and Adrienne

is just hanging over all of us.

You want chicken?

Here-- this piece--

I got it.

OK, just p--

I got it.

Jesus, here we go again.

Even if we're not talking about it,

it's just there lurking in the corner.

I wouldn't mind being on a deserted island at this point.

Why do we want a vacation?

Don't we know anyone who owns an island, for God's sake?

We do know somebody who owns an island.

That's what she said.

I knew you were going to say that.

Richard Branson-- but his house just burned down.

Farrah's father-- we could use his house in Bali.

It's beautiful-- huge.

Where's your sisters?

[SIGHS]

I though you said--

They were supposed to be here.

Kim couldn't end up coming, 'cause Chad got sick.

And she had to take care of him.

And then Kathy--

I don't know.

She hurt her tooth or something.

Thank you, by the way.

I wanted to tell you that.

Well, I told him that you were very defensive

and had their back.

From what I've seen from you, Brandi, is a lot

of really cruel behaviour.

And I think you viciously attack people.

I don't viciously attack people.

FAYE RESNICK: Well, you do

I don't attack people viciously for no reason.

I come back at you.

Some people stab you in the heart

and then say, oh, I'm so sorry.

KYLE RICHARDS: Yeah.

Did that hurt?

Well, Faye was on fire at that dinner.

When Faye is on fire, she's at her best.

Because it means that she really believes in something.

Well, Faye is a passionate person,

and she gets very defensive when she cares about somebody.

No, when she believes in--

KYLE RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): Saying

negative things about someone affects them

in all areas of their life.

Not only that, though-- this is a private family matter

that nobody should know about.

It's nobody's business.

When you see somebody that you care for attacked,

of course you can't let that go on if you're a caring person.

PAUL NASSIF (VOICEOVER): Faye did what was right.

I'm glad that Brandi heard a mouthful.

I mean, you know what?

Hey, it happens.

That's too bad.

Just deal with it like we have to.

I'm happy to see you feeling better.

Let's go, my darling.

Thanks.

[KISSES] I love you guys.

Thanks for everything.

KYLE RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): Adrienne

and Paul have to leave early.

It's actually fine, because of course, the fight came up

and Brandi again, and this isn't about Brandi today.

It's about Sophia.

KYLE RICHARDS: Bye, guys!

I'll see you later.

NARRATOR: Coming up.

Darling, you don't need lessons at pole dancing.

Yeah, there's life in the old dog, yet, right?

Exactly.

But save it for me.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Can everyone come in the living room?

[INAUDIBLE] come in here.

Honey?

Sophia?

We're all going to go in the living room for a minute.

Let's go in the living room, guys.

OK.

Anyway, we all obviously are here to--

Well, where's my dad?

Oh, here he is.

KYLE RICHARDS: There's your dad.

Everybody's here.

Anyway, we all are celebrating Sofia today, who

graduated elementary school.

She's been going to the same schools since she was a baby--

as far back as you can remember.

And I know that you have a lot of exciting times

coming up at your new school, and you're a big girl now.

And I love you.

I love you so much.

[KISSES]

I love you, too.

GUEST: Yay! [CLAPPING]

GUEST: Good luck to you, Sophia.

My kids are just growing so quickly,

and I really want to enjoy every moment.

You know, it really touches me from the bottom of my heart,

and I get very emotional to see my grandchildren grow

and graduate and be such fine individuals.

Not everybody has the fortune to have their grandparents,

and I want you to know that I so much appreciate

seeing all of you guys.

Congratulations, and please continue the good work.

Thank you.

I love you.

And speaking of grandparents--

[GUESTS EXPRESS SYMPATHY]

(CHOKING BACK TEARS) Even though my mum and dad aren't

here today, they are in spirit.

And my mum and dad would be so proud of you.

Thank you for coming, everybody.

I appreciate it.

MAURICIO UMANSKY (VOICEOVER): Sophia is a princess.

To watch my daughter, who has just grown up

to be such an unbelievable girl, graduate from the same school

that I graduated from-- there's going

to be tremendous excitement.

She's the best.

GUEST: Yay.

GUEST: Good luck to you, Sophia.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

KIM RICHARDS: So excites I finally get to,

like, hang pictures in my own house again.

So this is Kimberly.

If we don't put this in the hallway--

let's get a little stack of Kimberly.

Kimberly-- Whitney--

Whitney-- mmm, my Brookie.

Oh, my gosh.

Look at Brooke.

MILTON: Mmm.

Look at Brooke.

Is that a face?

Beautiful.

KIM RICHARDS: I know, right?

Just like Mum.

Do you think she looks like me?

She looks beautiful.

KIM RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): I look at myself in the mirror

sometimes, and I feel like there's all these changes going

on inside my body-- and in and outside

and all around my life-- and I've decided

I'm going to do my nose.

The second row here-- we'll start with this.

Yeah.

And we're going to start the rest, right?

You want me put that right there?

We'll start that in the centre.

I took a friend for a consultation

to Dr. Grigoryants, and while I was there,

I said, hey, I'm glad kind of the mood to do something.

And he said, well, what do you want to do?

And I said, what about this?

And he said, I just--

I can't.

Really, you're flattering me.

But don't.

Really-- I'm old.

And he said, you are not old!

And I said, could you do something?

What about just the eyes?

And he said, I really can't.

It's not right.

And it's-- mmm.

What about my nose?

And he said, your nose, I could do.

[INAUDIBLE] look what a ham she is.

She was always [INAUDIBLE].

All my kids are hams.

Jeez, what did I do?

And I'm like, hmm, OK, nose got to go.

I don't know about this.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[KNOCKING]

- Hello! - Hello!

- How are you? - I'm good.

And you? - Ugh!

It's good to see you again.

You, too.

I'm so glad you're here.

I need help packing desperately.

OK, well, you know me.

I love clothes.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: I'm just trying to figure

out what I'm taking for Vegas.

This is cute, right?

For a cover-up?

I do like that.

And this is a really cute cover-up up, too.

So what do you ladies have on the itinerary for Vegas?

We're going to eat and drink and pole dance

and have sex with strange men.

No, I'm kidding.

I just have to practise hosting this event,

which I've never done before.

So I don't really know what I have in store.

Do you know what I mean?

Yeah.

Oh, these could be cute--

my sober pants.

Remember your scallop skirt?

Yes!

At least I've never changed since I was 19.

I'm still a hoochie.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You want to come help me pack?

OK.

I'll help you pack, but I want to be able to go

through your closet for once.

And I want to throw some things away.

Will you let me do it?

What?

Please don't take this.

This is hideous.

It's absolutely hideous.

- You're crazy. - Look at this.

It's cute.

GAYLE LINER: It looks like Mother Hubbard.

No, stop.

Honey, please don't take it.

It's really awful.

You look like somebody from, like, out in the boondocks.

MARISA ZANUCK: Oh, my God.

That's a boondock type of dress.

Tell me how much it was.

No.

Oh, my God. $20 is more than it's worth.

$20?

It was like 600.

I could find that in a secondhand store for you

for 10.

I like it.

Oh, honey, I swear to you it's ugly.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Shall I take my thong and my high heels

for a little pole dancing?

Darling, you don't need lessons at pole dancing.

could show them all a thing or two.

I probably could, actually.

There's life in the old dog yet, right?

Exactly.

But save it for me.

LISA VANDERPUMP (VOICEOVER): I do not

want to wrap my legs around anything in Vegas--

not a Chipmunk or a pole.

[DANCE MUSIC PLAYING]

Brandi's, like, practicing on us--

hosting something about empowering women.

I don't understand empowering women.

What's that mean?

I think it's got something to do with-- wait for it--

stripping.

If it involves stripping, I don't think

you should go anywhere near it.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Mum, you don't like anything cool.

You only like that.

I know, I know.

Well.

I mean, you've had the same style for 30 years.

I know, and I wear my hair the same way for 30 years.

- Yeah, I know. - But you know what?

But you got to branch a little bit.

People give me compliments, and they love my hair.

Why would I change my hair?

MARISA ZANUCK: Mum, we know.

GAYLE LINER: Oh, what hotel are you staying at?

We're staying at the Four Seasons.

Well, that's great.

Brandi said it's attached to the Mandalay Bay.

Right.

I stayed at the Mandalay about four years ago.

Yeah?

Listen, I haven't been there since.

That's why I thought if you would invite me, I could go.

Mum, come on.

I'll pay for myself.

I'm going with all these girls.

No, I could go in another plane.

No, it's weird.

You don't even have to talk to me there.

Please!

All right, dresses--

underwear.

Oh, I don't need underwear in Vegas, do I?

You need the big, thick, brown underwear.

The iron knickers.

KEN TODD: Yes.

You're not staying at the palms?

LISA VANDERPUMP: No.

KEN TODD: [LAUGHS]

Don't even go there.

It's all looking very pink.

I wonder why.

NARRATOR: Coming up.

Your husband is more in love with you than you are with him.

[DRAMATIC MUSIC PLAYING]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Excited?

- Yes! - Whoo!

Sometimes I get sick.

I'm going over here.

This is it.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

Everybody say, penis!

Why?

Oh, my God.

Why?

Why would you say that?

Because they weren't smiling.

You need a reaction for the picture.

Have you ever heard of cheese before?

We're going to have real Vegas showgirls showing us

how to pole dance a little bit.

CAMILLE GRAMMER: Wait, do we wear stripperwear?

- So excited. - Whoo!

U-huh, uh-huh.

CAMILLE GRAMMER (VOICEOVER): And I'm looking forward to support

brandy in her new ventures.

It's time for her to move forward--

heal-- move on with her life.

Now, are you going to be dancing on the pole?

Oh, yeah.

Of course, it's never going to happen.

Oh, yes, it is.

Unless they've got a pole in Gianni

Versaci and Hermes [INAUDIBLE]

CAST MEMBER: So are you excited?

CAST MEMBER: Yes. CAST MEMBER: Whoo!

Vegas.

Welcome to the Four Seasons Hotel, Las Vegas.

Oh, wow.

It's so pretty.

This is our 180 degree strip view suite,

so you'll have a panoramic view of the Las Vegas Boulevard.

Did you say strip?

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): Jen is my best friend.

She's my rock.

She just there for me.

She's like my other half.

She's like my husband.

This room is gorgeous.

Oh, wow.

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): Like, I really just

want to see the fun side of all the girls,

and I want them to see the fun side of me.

I don't want them to just think of me

as the girl that says, shut the [BLEEP] up, all the time.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Thank you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

You want a little tomato?

OK, well, that's why you make extra.

So if you ruin one, you got an extra one.

Ow, I should have worn shoes.

Ow!

Now I'm going to have to give you a piece of chicken

when you get up there, right?

YOLANDA FOSTER (VOICEOVER): Let's get

it straight-- men love beautiful women,

and beautiful women love rich men.

Still [BLEEP] your husband for a Chanel bag.

There is temptation everywhere.

A woman can get hit on in the grocery store.

A guy walks on the Sunset plaza, and there's beautiful women

trotting up and down.

But if you really found your true love, I mean,

it should be easy.

Hi, baby.

YOLANDA FOSTER: Hi, my love!

[KISSES] How are you?

Are you tired?

Exhausted?

I am tired.

Hi

Hey, baby.

I love you.

I missed you.

I missed you, too, baby.

- I'm happy you're home. - Let me just put this here.

YOLANDA FOSTER (VOICEOVER): I absolutely

cater to my husband's needs, and I love doing it.

You know, my husband is king in my house,

and I think that's the way it should be.

That's what keeps two people together.

OK, come on.

I have a beautiful dinner waiting for you.

You do?

Yes.

Come!

I made you your favourite chicken--

potatoes-- gravy.

DAVID FOSTER: Mmm.

And I tried to make you a chocolate souffle.

I made two sets.

One-- and I screwed them up-- both sets.

These didn't come up.

Those look OK.

Let me taste it first.

Yeah, of course.

It's yours.

Not good, no?

No, it's good.

I think that men are really simple beings,

if you really think about it.

The most important thing is that they're acknowledged as a man.

The sex is very important, and feeding

them-- and you know, cook them a dinner once in a while.

I think, for a guy, that's really important.

And why not?

Are you very hungry, my love?

Yeah.

You want me to me help you?

Let me just wait on you.

Is it good?

They're my favourite.

I love the fact that you make two of everything

in case one ruins.

And people don't believe you.

This was right from the first second, and it stayed right.

Unless she kicks me to the curb, I'm a lifer.

I'm a Yolanda lifer.

Well, I missed you.

I missed you too, baby.

I don't think we ever need to be apart.

Who was I telling?

Somebody that's married or lives with a rock and roller,

and they're, like, two or three months apart.

I said, you know, my wife's rule is

no more than two weeks apart.

- Yeah. - Ever.

Not even two weeks.

I mean, eight days is the maximum.

Two weeks is a long time.

- Eight days? - Yeah.

Wow.

Most of my friends have been divorced

at some point of their lives.

Like, you know Heidi and Seal, I mean, it's heartbreaking.

But 95%, for sure, I think this is it for both of us.

And you know, God willing, it's going to stay as great as it's

been the first six years.

Wow.

Isn't that pretty?

YOLANDA FOSTER: It's gorgeous.

DAVID FOSTER: Yeah, it is.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Oh, perfect.

We'll leave the wine list for you ladies here.

Do you guys have a bottle of rosé that's--

We sure do, miss. I'll [INAUDIBLE] right there.

Let me see.

I have a specific one.

Do you have a rosé that's not sparkling?

No rosés.

[INAUDIBLE]

OK.

So all right.

So do you have, like, a sauvignon blanc?

I don't know.

I don't know these two.

You guys, we're not buying a house.

Pick the wine.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

LISA VANDERPUMP: They're all sounding better by the minute.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Yeah. CAST MEMBER: Thank you.

So Kyle, tell us about your store.

Are you going to do a big party?

I am going to do a big party, and you'll all be invited.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Oh, please.

KYLE RICHARDS: What?

LISA VANDERPUMP: Not everybody-- come on.

Yes.

Everyone's invited.

I'm really excited.

It's going to be fun.

I'm excited.

I can't wait to shop there.

Oh, my God.

This is like a big gulp.

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Good evening.

Welcome to Charlie Palmer Steak.

Everything on our menu is served a la carte.

On the left hand side, we have a nice variety of appetisers.

You'll find plenty of fresh seafood.

We have great steaks.

We have both wet and dry aged beef.

And at the bottom are vegetables,

starches, and the sauces.

CAST MEMBER: Thank you.

We'll let you have a few minutes with these,

and we'll come back and answer any questions for you.

CAST MEMBER: Thanks.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: So I just wanted

to say thank you to all of you beautiful women for coming.

CAST MEMBER: Thank you for having us.

And I'm not even sure exactly what it is,

and it's a test run tomorrow.

But I'm so glad that we could all

do it together and hopefully have a little fun

and get to know each other a little better.

Wait, is Yolanda coming?

I liked her the other night.

Is she coming?

CAST MEMBER: Yolanda's coming tomorrow.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Yeah.

Yeah, she's coming.

Marisa, you're so mellow.

I know.

I'm just-- - What?

Are you missing your husband?

I got to [INAUDIBLE]-- no.

Are you missing your man?

No.

Your kids?

I miss my babies.

Oh!

Not the husband, but the babies.

But I say to you, Marisa--

your husband--

Mm-hmm.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: --is more in love with you

than you are with him.

But that was that night at dinner.

I don't know.

I almost felt bad for him.

It's like I ended up marrying exactly opposite

of what I'm interested in.

The thing with us is we kind of

had this banter that goes back and forth,

and I think it can be read wrong.

But he is the most wonderful man ever.

I kind of want to shake her a little bit and be like,

if you really love this man, you'll shut the [BLEEP] up.

I'm very, very lucky.

I really am.

I mean, we've been together--

Don't you forget that.

--for 16 years.

No, I'm super lucky.

It gives me the chills!

Like, I want that.

I love weddings.

I love love.

I do.

I love love.

But right now, you guys know me as,

like, the tough girl that always fights back-- and yelling.

You don't need to be the tough girl all the time.

I have to be. I have to be.

That's what you guys don't understand.

I have to be, because I have to be strong for my children.

CAST MEMBER: Yeah. [INTERPOSING VOICES]

LISA VANDERPUMP: But that's not the tough girl.

[INAUDIBLE]

CAST MEMBER: You have to be strong with your children,

but that doesn't mean you have to be the tough girl.

Exactly.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Well, it's HARD with this group.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Cheers.

Maybe if you trusted more of showing that softer side,

you would bring out the softer side of everyone else.

They need to see, like--

[INAUDIBLE] say, oh, she's fun.

[INAUDIBLE] But I'm waiting to see that side.

I know. I get it.

I mean, I don't think we've actually seen the best sides

of one another, to be honest.

Right.

It's been kind of, since we've met, a train wreck.

We both have very strong personalities.

Yeah.

I just don't want to fight with strong women.

I don't want to fight with strong women, either.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: I know. It's scary.

But I'm also very defensive.

You know? BRANDI GLANVILLE: Yeah.

So.

No, me, too.

And that's the thing.

Because I have had to be.

Do you know what I mean?

Like, I've been fighting for a few years now,

and I feel like, gosh, I can't stop fighting.

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): I really want Kyle to understand

that it's been [BLEEP] hard.

It's been really hard.

And I think because she's been married

before, maybe she can find a little soft spot

in her heart for me.

For two years straight, I was a train wreck.

I was depressed.

I was sad.

[INAUDIBLE]

Well, when your husband leaves, you are.

I mean we were both-- - Right.

- --you were devastated. - Right, right.

I mean, that's a horrible thing to go through.

I was in love with the life.

I thought I ha--

You know what I mean?

It wasn't what I thought it was.

I care about him still.

I love him, because he's the father of my children.

But I'm also--

I'm so-- I don't know if it's hate.

I think it's like--

There's so much animosity.

That's what it is.

And it never goes away, though.

KYLE RICHARDS: You know what?

One day when you find someone else that you're love with who

treats you the way you deserve to be treated,

that will go away.

But that's it.

If you hold on to the anger, you just stay angry,

and it just makes you sick.

CAMILLE GRAMMER (VOICEOVER): Brandi

and I shared a similar experience,

having both of our exes leave.

I empathise with her.

It's a tough thing to go through a divorce--

and watching your ex-husband with his new wife.

Speaking of exes, how long did you not have intercourse for?

There would be times where there-- months would go by.

[INAUDIBLE], you lucky thing.

CAST MEMBER: Brandi's like--

oh, my God.

CAST MEMBER: Oh, my God!

That's insane!

I didn't know if I knew how to want it anymore.

CAST MEMBER: Brandi actually shed a tear over that one.

Did I lose it?

Do I still have it?

CAST MEMBER: Yeah, you lose it.

So do you have it?

You have it.

You know you have it, right?

Well, it was painful, because it was--

[INAUDIBLE]

CAMILLE GRAMMER (VOICEOVER): During my marriage with Kelsey,

I guess we lost our intimacy there for a few years.

And I was afraid that I lost it, but I have found it.

And it's better than ever.

I'm tough, though.

I mean, now I don't like to go back.

I don't like to go--

even talking about it puts a pit in my stomach.

Because he was the love of my life, and so to have had that

and then to have lost it and then to be

back where I am right now?

I feel so blessed.

I have to say that, you know, I mean, I'm so in love

with my husband and our family and what we've created

that if that happened to me?

Oh!

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Your kids would save you.

I could never--

I don't even think I could move on.

I really don't - Your kids would save you.

They would, though. That's what I'm saying.

Yeah, but it feels like that my mind.

- I know. - I don't think I could go on.

So when I hear you talk like that?

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Yeah. - I get it.

I don't know what I would do.

Isn't it weird how the person that

loved you the most in the whole world could hate you that much?

Ugh, it gives me a stomachache, honestly.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Did he leave and go to LeAnn Rimes?

I said, I'm going to Beverly Hills Hotel.

I go, you have to get your [BLEEP] out--

I'm done.

That day, my friend that worked at "Us Weekly"

called me and said, Eddie's in Malibu with LeAnn

Rimes on his motorcycle.

KYLE RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): To be pregnant and have your husband

cheating on you and leave like that

and marry someone else is devastating.

I can only begin to imagine how bad that would feel.

[INAUDIBLE],, thank you for sharing that.

Yeah.

I think I like this softer side.

Good.

Let's make out.

I'm kidding.

[LAUGHS] I'm just kidding.

[LAUGHTER]

But you know what I find is interesting is

LeAnn has the body of you.

CAST MEMBER: Oh, she wishes!

No, she gets with this guy, and now

she wears these skimpy little shorts

and these little outfits.

She could never dress like that.

She has the same car Brandi has.

She has the same bag Brandi has.

She has the same shoes Brandi has.

She has similar bathing suits-- cover-ups are similar.

She-- does that woman own any clothing?

Put some frickin' clothes on.

It kind of makes me laugh.

CAST MEMBER: She dresses like you.

She chose the same wedding dress designer.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Yes. Yeah.

Are you kidding me?

And she was a friend of yours?

She chose the same man!

That is bizarre.

NARRATOR: Coming up.

CAST MEMBER: That is so nasty.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: But you have to do it.

Oh, for God's sake.

Ugh!

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

They say the proper word, Mommy, is blah blah blah.

Vagina.

Jakey calls it B-A.

- So does Portia. - "Bagina."

[LAUGHS]

So does Portia. LISA VANDERPUMP: Oh, God.

Is that your "bagina?" I'm like, yes.

Can you use another word?

I don't even like that word.

Anything that doesn't sound pretty and pink--

even though a vagina, it could be pretty in pink--

[IMITATES LISA'S ACCENT] you can't say it.

And that word's ugly.

I don't want to hear it.

Vagina.

Vagina-- I mean, it just sounds awful.

- "Vageen," "vageen." - "Vageen," vagina, "vajayjay."

I don't like it.

I think there are other nice words, like pussy or "peachy."

He said, why does your "bagina" have a tail?

Because I had a tampon.

Oh, God!

Oh, my God!

No!

I don't even want to hear it.

Well, I will say that Alexia, when she was little,

said to me, why does your pee pee have a price tag on it?

Yeah, but why would it have a for sale sign on it

as well, though?

CAST MEMBER: Now it's set for lease!

[LAUGHTER]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Well, thank you for listening.

I'm not a whiner, and I don't want to go backwards.

CAST MEMBER: No.

But I want you guys to kind of understand my journey.

So this is why this branding company came and found me,

and they said-- you know, my divorce was so public,

and they saw how I kind of overcame it and fought back.

And they approached me for this thing

tomorrow, so it kind of goes hand-in-hand with it.

And that's why I'm just like, sure--

party and I get paid and it's for women?

Let's do it. So.

But anyway.

But I'm over him, and we're having fun.

So that's what matters.

Thank you.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

CAST MEMBER: No!

CAST MEMBER: No, I'm good.

CAST MEMBER: Clam?

Oyster?

I can't do a clam, but I could do this one.

You love those clams.

I am doing an oyster.

Oh, God, no.

That is so nasty.

Well, it tastes like a vagina.

CAST MEMBER: No, it doesn't taste like it.

It looks like it.

Well, how do you know it [INAUDIBLE]

It feels like it.

[LAUGHTER]

I mean, I think.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: I want everyone to do it.

You have to do it.

CAST MEMBER: [INAUDIBLE] There is

no oyster going passed my lips.

Come on-- what if I throw it down your throat?

Oh, for God's sake.

OK, I'll do it. - No.

I cannot put an oyster in my mouth.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Hey, it's going to be really good.

CAST MEMBER: Oh, she's gagging.

Oh, you're gagging, and you want to feed to me?

You bitch!

Ugh!

BRANDI GLANVILLE: We're going to do it.

All right, hold on.

Get this.

[INTERPOSING VOICES] - Are you doing it as well?

Are you all gagging and looking at it?

BRANDI GLANVILLE: I'm going to do it.

I'm not doing it. I'm going to throw up.

Yeah, you're going to do it.

We're going to do it. [LAUGHTER]

[INAUDIBLE] Open your mouth. - You're such a liar.

Open your mouth. Open your mouth.

What is it? Oh, my God!

[INAUDIBLE]

CAST MEMBER: Yay!

CAST MEMBER: [INAUDIBLE] - Did you swallow?

CAST MEMBER: Swallow-- don't eat it.

Don't chew. Don't chew.

CAST MEMBER: Swallow, swallow, swallow.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

I feel like I'm on "Fear Factor."

KYLE RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): I don't

like slimy, squishy things that are in that shape.

Why would anybody want to do that?

I know, right?

I'd rather have a hot dog.

So that was your first?

Yeah, that was my first experience.

Wow.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

[CHATTER AND LAUGHTER]

No, honestly, I was so happy we did this tonight.

And it was, like, serious and not serious.

But I feel like we're going to have a good time.

We'll be there to support you, but I'm not swinging

around the bloody pole. - Oh, you are.

LISA VANDERPUMP: No, I'm not. - Yeah, you are.

LISA VANDERPUMP: No, I'm not.

Lisa is very, very adamant about not

wanting to pole dance.

But I think that Lisa would be really good on the pole.

We're going to teach you some moves, Lisa.

[LAUGHTER]

Oh.

I'm going to get the dinner tonight, because really--

I got it.

No, I already paid.

My credit card is [INAUDIBLE]

KYLE RICHARDS: [INAUDIBLE]

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hi.

Hi, good morning.

- [INAUDIBLE] - How are you?

Good. Kim Richards.

- For Dr. Grigoryants? - Yeah.

OK.

I really just decided I wanted to do my nose

in these last few months.

I want to put a change with the change--

a change with the change--

I don't know.

I don't know-- a new me.

Hi, Kim.

- Hi! - How are you?

Good to see you.

Nice to see you, too.

How have you been?

Good. And yourself?

You look great. - Good.

Thank You.

Thank you.

Oh.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: All right, Kim.

Well, how can I help you today?

Well, I'm just kind of thinking I'd

like to do a little makeover.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: Mm-hmm.

I thought maybe my nose.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: OK.

My sister brought up doing my nose

over the last couple of years.

You need to make over.

So it's my nose you really want to go.

Well, that's like one of the main things.

If you had a magic wand, how would you change your nose?

Maybe just-- not much.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: Mm-hmm.

'Cause I like my nose. I like my face.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: You want to keep it natural?

OK.

Actually, I know I joke about changing things,

but I like me today.

I love who I-- how I am.

I just think that--

maybe just take down a little bit right here.

OK.

The reason why I'm not asking Paul to perform the surgery--

if for some reason I wasn't happy with my surgery,

I don't want to look at Paul every day

and just go, oh, you know what?

You're my friend, and I can't believe you let me do this.

It seems to me that your tip is well shaped,

so there is not much that needs to be done with it.

Maybe we'll just lift it a little bit

to just give it a little bit of a more youthful look.

Does it hurt-- this surgery?

You know, most of the swelling that

takes place the first couple of days will probably scare you.

But it's not a very painful surgery.

KIM RICHARDS (VOICEOVER): Dr. Grigoryants-- he

specialises in beautiful noses.

I know he knows about noses.

But I heard you're amazing, so I know [INAUDIBLE]..

Well, you know, no one's perfect.

Thank you. - All right.

VLADIMIR GRIGORYANTS: All right?

OK.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

Hello, girls.

CAST MEMBERS: Hello!

Oh, you guys are matching.

Yeah, yeah.

Kind of, yeah.

I had so much fun last night.

KYLE RICHARDS: I did, too. - It was fun.

It was really fun.

Well, you have to save a little for tonight.

I know. Tonight--

Thank you.

You'll see a happy Marisa.

Hello. CAST MEMBER: Hey, girls!

Hello. - Good morning.

CAST MEMBER: Good morning!

Wasn't that fun last night?

One too many margaritas, maybe.

CAST MEMBER: Thank you.

Perfect.

Oh, my goodness.

Alcohol?

CAST MEMBER: We're in Vegas.

CAST MEMBER: [LAUGHS]

So hold on a second-- you've got a bug in your hair.

CAST MEMBER: OK. - You're real funny.

- You have. - Shut up, Lisa!

Get it off her. Get it off her.

If you're lying to me, I'm going to be really mad.

Is it a bug? - Yes, yes.

Stop it!

Get it off my hair! - It's off!

It's off!

CAST MEMBER: What kind of a bug was that?

Spider? [INAUDIBLE]

It was not a little mini little thing.

It was a big, fat, hairy bug.

CAST MEMBER: She's so cute, this one.

She's always wanting to start a little trouble.

I'm going to squeeze her.

LISA VANDERPUMP: I'm going to go shopping.

I can't sit in this seat.

No, now we're going to get on a pole.

No, we're not.

KYLE RICHARDS: Oh, here's Yolanda.

Hello!

Good morning!

KYLE RICHARDS: How are you?

YOLANDA FOSTER (VOICEOVER): David was only in town for one

night, so I needed to be with my love.

I mean, he's my best friend.

He's my love, my life, my happiness-- and no girlfriend

can even come close to that.

I wish I could eat this [BLEEP] all day long.

LISA VANDERPUMP: Who says that?

- Brandi does. - Brandi.

Brandi does.

Ladies, I have a carrot with spinach juice?

What the hell is that?

It's like green slime.

I mean, come on.

Let me just have a sip.

Just be a big girl.

Have a sip.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: It's green-- not pink.

She can't drink it.

Oh, it's not good.

I'm being honest. It's not good.

Put a little tequila in it.

Exactly, right?

You knock it back at once.

You are what you eat or what you drink.

When you're past 45, things just don't

stay in shape eating bacon.

Wimpies!

Beverly Hills wimpies here.

NARRATOR: Coming up.

I'm going to ask like a difficult, disgruntled student

and see how you handle it.

"Act--" she's going to "act" like that.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

So Brandi, tell us--

so what are we doing?

CAST MEMBER: You look frightened.

No, I'm just excited.

You know, any big hurdle in your life-- or whether it be--

But isn't Adrienne really upset

that you're not supporting her business

by stripping at the bars?

You girls are bad.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

YOLANDA FOSTER: Oh, we're here, guys-- soundstage one.

Hello!

Hi!

Oh, wow, how cute.

Hi, honey.

How are you?

Oh, my God, you look so adorable.

This is Night School 4 Girls.

We are a pole dancing and burlesque class.

You're not going to come out this

being a professional stripper.

It's all about having fun.

You know, I'm not really feeling this.

I'm here to support my friends.

You'll get on it.

Don't worry.

I'm going to act like a difficult, disgruntled student

and see how you handle it.

"Act--" she's going to "act" like that.

And I'm going to see how you handle it.

[INAUDIBLE]

BRANDI GLANVILLE (VOICEOVER): It's my moment right now to get

up and talk, and I am a wreck.

[MUSIC PLAYING]

OK.

So in the spirit of practicing for this, I just want to say

thank you all for being here tonight.

I'm really happy that you guys all came out support me.

And whatever you guys are going through-- whether it be--

Life?

Divorce?

Divorce-- marriage--

just anything that--

This is about you finding yourself, because--

I'm horrible!

LISA VANDERPUMP: [INAUDIBLE] You're doing good!

Because you need to empower yourself.

You need to find your inner sexy.

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

LISA VANDERPUMP: Come on!

Find your inner sexy!

Come on, Brandi!

Yeah, that's a lot how it is.

It's not judging.

It's not what you look like.

It's not how tall you are-- how much

you weigh-- how old you are.

It's not if--

LISA VANDERPUMP: Thank God for that.

--you're married-- divorced.

No, I wasn't talking to you.

It's just about not judging and feeling beautiful and sexy

for that moment with your friends in the safe environment

with a couple of drinks.

Because we're all braver with drinks.

And just having a wonderful time, celebrating other women--

and just have fun, because life is short as we all know.

And it's really important.

So party, girls.

CAST MEMBER: Yay!

[INTERPOSING VOICES]

It's hard for me to find my words sometimes.

And then I got some support from my friends,

and I realised you can't be wrong when

you're just speaking the truth.

Brandi, good job, Brandi darling.

BRANDI GLANVILLE: Come on down, ladies.

Work it out.

[CLAPPING]

NARRATOR: Next time, on "The Real Housewives

of Beverly Hills."

CAST MEMBER: Whoo!

CAST MEMBER: Oh, my God!

Oh, she's been practicing-- you big liar!

[SERIOUS MUSIC PLAYING]

[INAUDIBLE] my sister, don't forget about me.

LISA VANDERPUMP (VOICEOVER): Kyle stands up for everyone--

but me.

You try to be loyal to somebody who's a friend,

and that gets chipped away.

She ought to have a lesson in what a true friend is.

This is not my battle.

This is not my fight. - It is.

You choose to make it your battle.

I agree!

[INAUDIBLE]

That's the point, Yolanda!

Shh.

Do we talk about who owns your restaurants?

I own my restaurants.

No, you don't, no sir.

[INTENSE MUSIC PLAYING]

NARRATOR: To learn more about the housewives,

go to bravotv.com.

[MUSICAL FLOURISH]