Original subtitles

Yes, yes.

And what did the cops say?

Yes, yes. Yes, I know.

Yes.

He didn't even leave a message?

No, I can't right now.

And how about Louis?

Wait. I've got to go. I'll call you at seven, OK?

Did he have any money?

What have they done to him?

Yes.

Yes.

Hey, Montei!

Wait!

Hey, want to know how much they're offering?

150, but without expenses.

But if we do Belgium, I get an extra 20,000, undeclared.

I know, it's against union rules, but what can I say?

What's wrong?

Let me explain. The man sees these historical figures.

He's a historian and he sees them

in surroundings he dreams of every night.

- I'm not saying it's brilliant... - Silence!

- Be quiet, for God's sake! - OK, so you stand over there.

OK, can we start?

Now, listen to me. When I do this, you look at each other.

Slowly. Is everything OK?

- Yes, yes. - OK, let's get started. Hurry.

- OK, ready? - Ready when you are.

- Action! - Camera!

"No History". 247. First take.

Roll.

Look at each other.

- Oh, good grief. - Cut. Cut.

What's going on?

- I can see smoke in the shot. - Show me.

Bloody hell.

Doesn't he realise how far it is to the Invalides?

And all this for one scene with the second camera crew.

- Where shall I drop you off? - At the station.

- Why are you still in the wig? - They've given me just 25 minutes.

- Remember to take your watch off. - Yes, don't worry.

Bye.

Look.

Have you seen that guy?

It's nothing.

Nothing? Let's check.

- Look at my rear lights. - I'm an actor.

- I'm shooting a film. - Well, come and have a look.

Hey, get out of the way, Louis XVI!

- Am I late? - Ask Zeller if you're late.

- Where is he? - On the phone.

There he is! You don't give a damn! You turn up when you feel like it!

I had to come from Versailles. I had a car accident.

Know what? You're a bastard! How much do I owe you?

- Eight francs. - That cost us 500,000 francs!

- What's your name? - Montei.

Bastard!

You can return your costume. Let's get going!

- Where can I make a call? - Over there. No need for tokens.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

- No, no. - Guess what?

Gaumont left my name off their poster.

- Shh. Be quiet. - Don't fret over it.

Easy for you to say. Your name's on it.

Yes.

Look!

- Do you have a light? - Of course.

Thank you.

- What a man. - No, what a cigarette.

It's an Angola.

Angola, the cigarette for men who arouse women.

Angola.

Amazing! No, seriously. Isn't he?

- It's just a commercial. - No, it was really good.

No, it was great, Clément. Besides, you're very handsome.

- They might make 15 of them. - What time is it?

What do you think of the gloves? Was that a bit much?

- I'll make coffee. - What about the gloves?

Not at all. It's managerial.

I found it a bit... Didn't you?

Because, with commercials -

Hello? Yes. I'll call you back. Nicolas is off now.

We've just finished dinner. OK, fine.

- I'll boil the water. - No, we don't have time. Clément.

Can you write out that cheque for the insurers?

Oh, Nicolas. Look, it's her.

- Franca. - Wasn't she in your act

- when you first came to France? - Yes.

She's aged a lot in ten years.

- Have I? - You...

- I don't want to rush you, but... - OK, ciao.

- Are you all right? - Yes.

How long has he been gone?

One day and one night. He didn't take his moped.

Where can he have gone?

Are you crazy? What an arsehole!

Hey.

Montei and Chamfort on stage now, please.

- Hi. What's the audience like? - Tough crowd. Worse than Monday's.

What a rotten lot. What a rotten lot.

It's as if the lights made noise in the water.

Police. Inspector Garizoni. Nobody move.

- Who did this? - It wasn't me, boss.

- Raise your hands higher. - They're all here.

Don't shoot!

You fool. Where are the cars? Who gave him the gun?

A murder, you fool! Any idea how long you'll be in jail?

You idiot. A murder!

A murder!

Garizoni, of all people.

You won't find your son by swallowing pills.

It has nothing to do with that.

It's because I keep having bad dreams.

- The cars aren't here yet. - We'll wait for the police.

Maybe I shouldn't smoke American cigarettes.

They say American cigarettes contain opium.

He was here today.

Because he came to see Bella.

- But... Bella... Bella. - Yes.

- Nicolas. - What?

- Why don't you call the police? - I'm afraid of what they'll say.

I'll be back.

Count up to a thousand dollars, and I'll be back.

- Evening, you fags. - Evening, René.

Stop!

How old is he now?

Fifteen.

Yes. What about his friend?

Berthelot.

- You OK? - Fine. You?

- Hi, Nicolas. - We're late.

- Just a second. But... - We've got work to do.

- Yes, yes. - Hurry up.

It isn't easy, you know?

Silence!

They've just come back from Japan.

America is impatient to see their act.

Who are these two gentlemen?

If you've lost your illusions, they'll recover them for you.

Wrapped up in their shadows, they're back from Japan.

The incomprehensible Mysterious Boys.

- Hop. - Hop.

Hop.

What's with the cane?

No, no, no, no. You're out of your mind.

The rabbit trick.

The rabbit trick.

You don't even know.

The rabbit is stuck.

You're hoping you can get away with murder -

- We are very sorry. - We'll fix it.

It's a question of a few seconds.

You wouldn't have any pliers?

- Yes, I have. - Because it's stuck, so...

- OK. - I apologise for this.

It almost never happens.

Have you a drop of oil, my dear?

A drop of oil? Sure.

- Be patient. - Do you have a bolt?

Oh, yes. I have.

Just a second.

That was the Mysterious Boys.

Believe me, I'd pay you four times that amount.

- Don't make me laugh. - We're not asking for extra money.

- We just want to be paid. - There's no money.

Have I made myself clear? There's no money.

Check the safe. Here, have a look.

- But you get clients at night. - During the day, too.

There's the trading tax, charges, bills, copyright. I'm skint.

We've made 900 francs.

Once I've paid for the drinks, that fool and his orchestra...

I'm not counting Mimi, cos Mimi... But If I have to pay you as well,

I'll have to shoot myself. Bang! Bang!

Good evening, darling.

Good evening.

Look at this.

Do you like it?

Who gave you that?

I bought it off some guy. I thought it would amuse you.

Don't walk barefoot on the floor tiles.

I'm losing my eyesight. I'll buy some glasses tomorrow.

- You saw her again? - Who?

Please, Peggy.

Do you know how late it is?

No, but you saw her again.

Please, darling. This isn't the time for it.

This really isn't the time...

This really isn't the time... I caught a chill.

- I know. - What do you know?

Well, I'm going to bed.

Did the radio call regarding Catherine de' Medici?

No.

Know what?

Cut!

- You all right? - Save the dog!

- It'll be fine. - Give me your hand.

And keep your hand down, or I can't see you.

- But the hat will blow off. - Who cares?

I'd rather that. Come on, let's go again.

Half the day's gone and we've got nothing.

Hurry! We're wasting time here.

As for you, kiddo. I think it's fine.

Back to your places.

- The dog's all wet. It'll show. - Then get rid of him. Who cares?

Cast it!

Let's go! Action!

Go! Go!

Cut! No, no! Too soon!

You keep pitching the fisherman into the water!

I hired you because you said you could row.

- It's my son. - You're shivering!

Jeanne, get me a Thermos.

You OK? When you're in the water, don't move too soon.

The fisherman is startled. Put yourself in his shoes.

Where have you been?

I slept in a park.

- But why? - I don't know.

What do you mean, you don't know?

Have you told your mother?

No. I came here.

I phoned you and came here.

- Take your places! - Get ready, Montei.

Come on! Is the camera ready?

Action!

That's good!

Very funny. Yes, that's funny.

Cut! I said, cut!

Let's do it again.

Duck back into the water. Duck!

The two of them were with a friend. Some idiot.

They stole three cameras and instead of going home...

- He got scared. - He denies that.

- What did he say? - Nothing.

- Were you able to reach her? - No. The line's busy.

I've still got work to do. But I'll see you later.

Would you like some baba?

Eat.

I don't know...

You didn't even think we'd be worried.

If you wanted to buy a camera, you could have asked me.

If you want to be a thief, just say so.

- It wasn't about the cameras. - Then why?

Is it because of me?

I read about that.

Absent fathers make children go off the rails.

- It was in "Marie-Claire". - I don't know.

Listen, I don't want to talk about your mother and me.

But it's not the same for me.

While you were sleeping in the park I was playing Mazarin on the radio.

Maybe I should have stayed at the puppet factory.

Making the costumes with your mother.

I've this accent... This accent which...

You were great as Pantaloon.

Yes. Yes, but...

Why did you take off like that?

Tell me! Tell me why you took off like that!

Tell me! Answer me! Why did you take off like that?

Tell my why?

- Is Mum home? - Yes, yes.

- Where were you? - Leave me alone.

Tell me. Where were you? Tell me.

- Hello, Mrs Gromoff. - Hello there.

It's Mr Montei.

- Hello. - Hello.

- Is my wife here? - She's in the kitchen.

She's making tea.

- How beautiful. - Tell me something.

Tell me. I haven't seen you for two days.

- Who's that for? - They're remaking "The Balcony".

You know Berthelot? He broke three of his teeth.

Want to know how? With a pétanque boule.

- So, where were you? With women? - What?

- Women. Did you sleep with one? - Leave me alone.

Well, did you? Answer me.

I saw you through the window.

- Where did you find him? - He came to me. I was on set.

Where did you sleep?

In square Lamartine.

Have you seen Gogol's "The Gamblers" on TV?

No, I haven't seen it.

Mr Montei played in it in Strasbourg.

- Was it Strasbourg? - Yes, it was.

He was so handsome,

so elegant.

He was so slim in those days.

We made him a navy velvet jacket.

And when he made his entrance... everyone fell silent.

Whereas the other one...

He's not bad. One could say he's a very good actor, but...

He doesn't fit the part.

No, no.

Especially in the second act. No, no and no.

Dad, don't bring any more Dubonnet.

- Louis! - There's no room in the cellar.

Don't fuss. They no longer want me.

- You no longer work for them? - Hadn't you noticed?

I'm no longer a waiter.

Mrs Gromoff.

Goodbye.

I get a kiss today? What's going on?

- What about the lunch money? - No...

Dad. Can I have 78 francs for the school meals?

- Ah, yes. - We'll sort it out.

- Go. Don't worry about it. - No, seriously. How much?

7,800 francs. Old francs.

How's Peggy?

- Nicolas! - What?

- Wait. I'll get the cameras. - What cameras?

They're fabulous. I can see why he was tempted.

You understand everything, don't you?

Give them to me.

- Has he ever stolen before? - Once, in Deauville.

But it was only worth 1,000 francs.

You went to Deauville? With whom?

With a young man. He was English.

Completely naked.

Stop it. Go home.

- Ciao. - Ciao.

- Who is it? - Tintin.

This thing... belongs to Clément.

He forgot his cameras in my car, so I'll bring them to the theatre.

I was afraid they'd steal them from the car.

That's why I brought them up.

I don't know why he needs three cameras.

I'm not asking questions.

Why did you say, "Who is it?" when I came in?

Does someone else have the key?

Jacowski phoned. He's awaiting your reply.

The TEP also called, for the Feydeau play.

And you won't be playing Galileo. They cast Negroni.

- Won't you sit down? - I don't care.

Galileo or Copernicus...

Copernicus has eight fewer lines. It's no great loss.

Pronto? No, he's not here. He's gone out.

The fool's speaking Italian. No, I know nothing.

I don't have a pen. Thank you, sir. You're welcome.

Goodbye.

It's that guy about the posters. I don't know what to tell him.

- You're going out? - Yes, I've got rehearsals.

What can I say?

Annie is pregnant. Had I told you?

They've replaced her with a very talented actress.

She has quite a husky voice.

She's very good.

I don't know her name.

So...

You dropped by to drink a glass of white wine?

Darling, listen...

Monday, come rain or shine, we'll be in Cabourg.

We'll go to the beach. We'll make love.

- We'll make conversation. - When you come home, later,

you'll talk to me.

About what?

Hello?

I don't know.

I don't know.

He's a problem child. It's just the two of us.

His mother is in Lebanon.

It's just the two of us.

He was hit by a bike when he was five.

He was hit by a motorbike when he was five.

He's a problem child. It's just the two of us.

His mother is in Lebanon.

That's no excuse for stealing.

Must admit, when you called earlier, we rushed to the shop window.

- We hadn't noticed a thing. - What difference does that make?

But... But...

He was hit by a tram when he was five.

- That's it. That's it. That's it! - What is it?

The Corpse of Miss Armstrong. It's him!

He's the priest who flung her in the Thames.

That's it. I've been trying to figure it out since I saw you.

- Did you see it in colour? - I don't like TV.

He watches it. I don't.

That scene with that firecracker hidden in the Bible...

You bastard. But you were good in it. Very good.

Except the ending wasn't believable.

- What's your name again? - Nicolas Montei.

Well, I have to go. I'm performing in a play.

Ah, the theatre is great.

Wait a minute. Wait.

A camera case is missing. The Leica had a case.

- Don't you have it? - No, but...

I can... How much is it?

- I don't know. - We'll sort it out.

- Follow me. - Go ahead.

Good evening.

Police. Inspector Garizoni. Nobody move.

- Who did this? - It wasn't me, boss.

Raise your hands higher.

Raise your hands higher.

- Nice haul, boss. - Hice baul, noss.

- They're all here. - Don't shoot!

You idiot. Where are the cars?

- They clapped when we came in. - It's my wife's parents.

They arrived this afternoon.

..in jail. You fool!

- What about your kid? - He came home.

Where was he?

Shit. I got a splinter.

- What? - I got a splinter.

- Show me. - Count up to a thousand dollars...

Yes, I see. It's nothing.

..and I'll be back.

Overacting a bit tonight.

- You fags. - Evening, René.

Good evening, Plaza Athénée.

- The Ribeira reception, please. - Do you have an invitation?

- No, I'm performing an act. - It's the door on the right.

Thank you.

Oh, Clément!

- We're not going on. - What do you mean?

They'll pay us, but we're not going on. They'd rather dance.

- One cheque or two? - One each, if you don't mind.

- What's the name? - Write "to the bearer".

Haven't you had your pâté and champagne?

No.

- It's very good. You'll see. - Bring this to table three.

- He's dealing with table five. - Wait, I'm an artist.

I'm an artist. Are they nuts?

Nicolas.

I'm selling my feathers. Who'd like them?

- They're going cheap. - How much do you want for them?

- Twelve peanuts. - Twelve peanuts?

- For each feather? - Yes, for each.

In old peanuts, that's...

1200 peanuts.

- That's expensive. - Ten peanuts, then.

I'll buy them. I need them for a drawing.

- What are you going to draw? - A blue, blue, blue lake.

- To swim in. - A swimming rabbit?

Be quiet, you stupid turtle. Mind your own business. Shit.

Can't we change that stupid turtle's line?

It gets to me every time. Seriously.

Let's take a break. We'll start again in five minutes.

Good idea.

Tell me, Régine, from the Comédie Française,

- would you have a... ? - Cigarette?

- Clément. - Yes, ma'am?

It's fine, but could you sound less like a bear, please?

You want the bull to sound less like a bear? Yes, ma'am.

- Any advice for me? - You? No. Enunciate.

Anyway, I'm shutting shop on the 15th.

The great actor is bowing out.

- What do you mean? - I'm going to work for Panzani.

You know, the position he promised me? I'll deal with PLV.

- What's that? - Point-of-sale promotion.

- It's great fun. - Yes, but you could have told me.

I'm telling you now.

Close the door. There's a draft. Shit!

- What's up with you? - I'm 43. I'm playing the clown.

And I'm tired. We discussed it. This isn't new.

A starter salary of 380,000 francs a month. A car.

Free petrol and annual bonus. What do you want from me?

Hadn't you told me you got the part as the husband in that play?

I'm 43, Nicolas. What do you want me to do? Go to drama school?

Can we start? Everyone ready?

Whenever you want. We're ready.

Excuse me.

- What are you doing? - Rehearsing for the gala.

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

Why do you ask?

- What's wrong? - Nothing.

You?

Clément, you really don't like it any more?

- Acting, I mean. - Acting never really liked me.

He's bitter. I don't like bitter types.

- Why the sudden decision? - It's no longer fun.

I get up at dawn, voice a bull, which I'm happy to do,

I change persona, go and have lunch, dress up as a clown at 4:00pm,

I'm on the radio in the afternoon,

"Death to Barabbas!" I change persona.

Later, at the theatre, "Hands up", bang, bang, bang.

At night the Mysterious Boys.

And it no longer gives me any pleasure.

Suddenly.

- He's bitter. - You should talk.

You're being hard on Nicolas.

He likes acting. It runs in the family.

- How is that? - All the Montei are actors.

His children. The mother of his children.

Everyone. But he's the star.

Could you bring me a coffee, please? Want one?

What's going on? The children, the mother. I don't understand.

- What's it called? - What?

That trick they all pulled yesterday?

The runaway son, the crying mother,

and Nicolas Montei looking miserable.

Thank you, but I don't understand a word you're saying.

What's going on?

Yeah, right.

- Put it on my tab! - Yes, ma'am.

Your son never ran away.

She cooked up quite a melodrama.

You were great, anyway.

So was she. Very moving.

- She deserves you, you know? - She...

Who do you mean?

Nicolas, hey...

What's all this about, Peggy?

Well done. Want to know where the reels ended up? In Dijon.

- What can I do about it? - Oh, well, if nobody cares...

- Hiya, artist! - Peggy!

What's all this about?

Peggy! Who told you this? What does it mean?

Did you enjoy that little drink together?

How do you know about that? How do you know?

I know.

Who told you he didn't run away? It's not true!

I know.

You really are ridiculous.

# Feathers # Moo

# Feathers # Moo

# Feathered rat # Moo, moo, moo, moo

# The bird brains act as ninnies in the sprigs

# Nature's concerto is lovely #

Cut.

Sorry. It's my fault. Start again.

What does "sprigs" mean?

Shrubs. It's literary, kiddo.

Don't leave me.

We'll do this live. Drop the headphones.

- Ready? - I'll meet you in costumes later.

- They left this for you. - I was waiting for this. Thanks.

DEELEY'S PART, OBVIOUSLY.

What did you tell her exactly?

Nothing much.

Thank you.

I don't know. I simply told her your son had left and come back.

What else was I supposed to say?

And that's why you were a bit...

out of sorts.

Mrs Elshigarai, the helmet, seriously...

She called me four times last night.

I was home by the fourth call, but... It's not easy, you know?

- I'll get you another one. - That would help.

- How are the boots? - Yes, they're fine.

Take a few steps, so I can see.

Good. He's so handsome.

Was it you who told her they'd made it all up?

Are you out of your mind?

Still, why didn't you tell her anything?

I don't know.

You know, Peggy is...

Do you think they did all that so I'd come back?

You know me. Women...

He must have stolen the cameras, since you brought them back.

Whether or not he ran away, I don't know.

I really don't know.

No one would do something like that.

- Mrs Gromoff. - You scared me.

- What are you doing here? - I've come to see the kids.

- Ah, you've had your hair curled. - It's a wig.

The kids aren't here. They've all left.

- What time will they be home? - They're on holiday.

Mrs Montei took the car this morning at six and they left.

But... on holiday?

Don't make me laugh. I know nothing.

She was meant to leave on the 30th, as she told you,

but Mrs Moulian lent her the car eight days early

because she'll need it back eight days early.

- You know Mrs Moulian, don't you? - Yes.

- Another Armenian... - I don't know. Uh, yes.

Tell me, when did she decide to leave?

Yesterday. But you're impossible to reach.

One can't even call you at home.

Mrs Montei called the theatre. Didn't they tell you?

No. Wasn't Louis meant to go to school?

Oh, he'll catch up next year.

But where are they? They didn't tell me a thing.

I don't know. It seems to me your accent has got thicker.

- Or perhaps you're tired. - Mrs Gromoff.

Yes?

Did Rodrigue really run away from home?

- Tell me the truth. - Mrs Montei said he did.

Is that a play? Are you in it?

Yes, but only as an understudy. So I said no.

- Goodbye. - Goodbye.

Like the sea, you come, you go.

You'll never change. You're all froth.

And you ramble on in French. That's why I can't...

Oh, Nicolas. It doesn't matter where you go.

You'd be a stranger even in Rome.

Why didn't you tell me about your son?

Who told you he never ran away?

Why didn't you tell me about it?

If you could see your face when I talk about home.

Home.

Your home is with her.

But for her, my home is your home.

You're always acting, Nicolas.

And you're a bad actor.

You left your wife three years ago, but you still fear she'll leave you.

You fear your children when they raise their voices.

With me...

Nothing scares you when it comes to me.

As my mother says, when she sees you on TV,

"He has such great presence."

That's all she can find to say.

Oh, Nicolas, you're so absent.

You are not there for anyone.

- And you're unkind. - You no longer love me.

You no longer love me.

- Was that good? - Perfect.

Perfect, yes.

Forward!

Hey, what are you playing at?

He said, "Doctor, I have three balls."

"Three balls? That's great!"

"I've always been self-conscious about it."

"Why? It's a privilege."

Oh, it stung me. Right there.

- He's happy-go-lucky, smiling. - Yes.

- Do that for me. - I'll start over.

- Smile. Smile throughout. - Yes.

The beauty of it is that one must treat this woman like a colour.

When she changes hue, you must change your tactics.

September is such a strange month.

- Good afternoon, Doctor. - Ah, old Rosemond.

- You stand up at this point. - Ah, old Rosemond.

- Is this your daughter? - She's my youngest, Bérénice.

Right! I've got to go.

- I think it's... - It's OK.

I don't like his accent. But physically, he's perfect.

Yes. We'll sort something out. Montei!

Yes, ma'am?

- What are you doing at the moment? - I'm in that American play...

- At the Gymnase. - Yes, but it ends Sunday.

They've offered me a Pinter play, but I said no.

- Can I see you now in my office? - Of course.

- He could fit into these? - Clément was slim.

He was - how would you put it? - svelte.

- How old is he? - Oh, he was young.

- What's wrong? - I'm tired.

- How long have you been here? - Nine, ten days. I don't know.

Come on, get dressed.

- The collar's too tight. - September is such a strange month.

September is such a strange month.

September is such a strange month.

September is such a strange month.

- Good afternoon, Doctor. - Ah, Lady Rosemond.

- Where do I go? - Up to him.

- Is this your daughter? - She's my youngest, Bérénice.

Shit! Not like that, for Chrissake!

For shit's sake! Are you doing it on purpose? Shit!

I told you to give a hint of a curtsey.

Must I sing it to you?

Stupid bitch!

I don't know to get it through her head. Go and get her!

Stupid bitch!

She pisses me off.

Stupid cow!

I can't. I'll never be able to do it.

I don't understand what he wants.

My mind goes blank.

Don't say that. Listen to me.

- Yes, sir. - Don't call me sir.

Just do what I say.

See? I've never loved anyone like you.

Except for my grandmother.

My grandmother would take me in her arms for hours.

It could last for hours. She'd tell me fairy tales,

Snow White, everything, until I'd fall asleep.

I can still see her now. She smelled of cinnamon.

Do you know what cinnamon smells like?

And she kept making me bread and jam.

Oh, it went on forever.

Arlette, eat your bread and jam. Arlette, eat your bread and jam.

The house wasn't very big, but if you took the rooms -

Darling, what if you kept quiet for a minute?

- You make me dizzy, you know? - Really?

So he said, "You've got two nude scenes."

So I replied, "It depends. Is there dialogue? I'm an actress."

I mean, I'm not a stripper.

I don't see why I'd strip off just for the hell of it.

I mean, it's gratuitous. It's OK if my nudity leads onto something.

That would be fine. But...

So he said, anyway, we could cut those bits out.

what if you kept quiet for a minute? You making us dizzy, you know?

Really?

I can go wait for you in the car. That way I'll see to my broken heel.

- The shop is almost opposite. - Run along, sweetie.

- Goodbye, Clément. - Bye, dear.

See you.

She is very sweet.

She's very, very sweet.

- How's life otherwise? - As you can see, life's good.

It's good. How's real life treating you?

It's great. By the way, I mustn't forget.

I couldn't give it to you in front of her.

- Why did it come to your house? - She doesn't know where you live.

"Two men and a woman on a boat. Kisses."

- They're sailing? Where? - How should I know?

- Haven't you read the card? - Of course I did.

Isn't there a postmark?

Lyon. Who goes sailing in Lyon?

And the picture is of Toulouse.

How about Charles? When will you be starting up the act again?

- We've already started. - How's it going?

- He's not drinking too much? - Not for the time being.

No, no. Let me get that.

Expense account.

Do you have time to come to see the new "angel's hair" campaign?

- What? - It's vermicelli.

I set up a stall. I place a few products around and they sell.

All you need are a few ideas.

Nicolas!

Here we go. This is it.

"Angel's hair" a gift from heaven.

Hi, you fags.

René!

- See? They chose me. Thank you. - It's the least I could do.

- I'm glad. - Father Christmas? It's July!

No, no. It's for the launch.

See? Father Christmas is the incarnation of presents.

And what comes down from heaven?

- Well? I'm asking. - Father Christmas.

If you'll excuse me.

The silent Father Christmases walk around the display.

Lift up your lanterns. We got them in for a reason.

The tall one, over there. Remember the kids.

You're descending from heaven.

- How are things with you? - I'm fine.

- Oh, Father Christmas. - Want my picture, arsehole?

I'm either losing my memory or you're losing your mind.

Bérénice loves you.

No,

when she'd look at me, I'd see your eyes.

And when she'd touch me, it was your hand I felt on mine.

Stand up, kiddo. Stand up.

No, she wasn't love. She was only a pale imitation.

Walk towards the tree. Walk towards the tree...

And remember to own this space.

That's good. Very good.

..or you're losing your mind.

- Bérénice loves you. - No.

When she'd look at me, I'd see your eyes.

And when she'd touch me, it was your hand I felt on mine.

No, she wasn't love. She was only a pale -

No! It's too soon for the fan. Wait until you reach the tree.

I didn't dare say anything, but it bothered me.

- It's true. It... - Let's take it again.

"Or you're losing your mind..."

Those birds are too loud! Shit!

- Lucienne, my darling. - Either I'm losing my mind, or...

I've lost track. What's my line?

- What's her line? - Bérénice loves you.

- Bérénice loves you. - No.

When she'd look at me, I'd see your eyes.

And when she'd touch me, it was your hand I felt on mine.

She wasn't love. She was only a pale imitation.

Yes. Well, no. See? It's not your fault, Nicolas.

I'm the one who... I don't know. I don't know.

Couldn't you make him seem demoralised instead?

I'm not sure about the moustache. What do you think, Lucienne?

I don't like it.

OK, well, let's get rid of it.

I'd rather you did something with your hair.

I don't know. A white streak.

He's still handsome, but he's aged a bit. See what I mean?

- Yes, I do. - See what I mean?

- Yes, a... - It'll be beautiful.

Won't it? Let's do it again.

Bérénice kind of likes you.

No, that's not it. No. Sorry. Bérénice loves you.

No, no, no.

When she'd look at me, I'd see your eyes.

And when she'd touch me,

it was your hand I felt on mine.

She wasn't love. She was only a pale imitation.

You've nailed him! That's it!

That's it! Don't change a thing. Forget everything else.

But... You really want me to it this way?

You've nailed him. That's it! Perfect! Don't change a thing.

Arlette!

Are you coming?

Can't you hear me?

When you said your wife died in a shipwreck ten years ago...

Uh, yes?

- Along with your two children? - It was a tragedy, yes.

They must have swum back to shore.

- The caretaker brought this up. - Why didn't he give it to me?

Because I happened to be passing.

What are they doing in Egypt?

It was sent from Carcassonne. And why was it sent here?

Oh, I see. Clément forwarded it.

Jador waffles are dropping us, after eight years.

- Anyway, that's the way it is. - What are Jador waffles?

If you'd heard how he'd spoken to me! He's so vulgar!

Anyway, that's the end of our production.

But... the end of... but we...

- Aren't we going to do it? - Do you have the money? I don't.

I can't even pay you for rehearsals.

Corneille, be quiet. Simon! She's thirsty.

Give her something to drink, please.

But it'll happen, Montei.

Not this year. But in two years, in five years.

But it'll happen. I'll fight for this!

My theatre won't become a parking lot. It won't!

Automatic gearbox. Front camshaft.

I wanted you to take a spin in it. What do you think?

Yes, very nice.

And... look.

- Where shall we go for lunch? - I don't mind.

- How's the chatterbox? - It's over.

When's the play starting?

- Not for a while. - What's it about? I never asked.

It was a guy...

It's a guy, a doctor. Women like him.

It takes place in a small town by the sea.

- You hear a lot of birds. - Talking of birds.

Tell me what you think. We're doing something on French birds.

Have a look back there.

- Pasta shells? - Yes, but also vermicelli.

If you buy ten packs of 500 grams and cut out the label,

you get 12 posters of birds, from the oriole to the harrier.

The wren. It's pretty.

Why French birds?

It was my idea. Why? Would you have preferred birds from all over?

No.

- Tell me what you really think. - I mean it. I'm bowled over by it.

I'm an idiot. I keep forgetting things.

What do you want me to do with all this?

It's not for you. It's for the kids.

- Run along. - Bye.

Thank you.

- Goodbye, Mr Montei. - Goodbye.

Dad!

Here.

- Hi, Dad. - How are you?

- I'm fine. You? - Fine. When did you get back?

- Two days ago. - You look well.

- Is Mum here? - Yes.

- Ciao. - Ciao.

I'm all wet.

- You look beautiful. - Yes.

Where's the spoon?

Bravo.

Shall I chop up a lot of it?

- Shall I chop up a lot of it? - Yes, keep chopping.

- Is that enough? Look. - No, more than that.

Fill the plate.

Shall I grate the whole piece?

Yes, all of it.

Yes, but that's too little. All this gets cut off.

Do it like this.

It's good.

Why are you all laughing?

What is it?

Now, go to bed. What time do you get up for school?

School? We're still on holiday.

- Come on. - It's late.

- Good night, Dad. - You too.

- Good night, Mum. - Good night.

- Good night. - Good night.

I have to tell you something.

- I'm no longer living with Peggy. - I know.

How do you know?

I know. You're staying at a hotel.

- You're changing the curtains? - Yes.

The ones overlooking the street.

You know, over time, I've...

- Changed? - Yes.

Why are you laughing?

What can I say? I'm a cheerful sort.

Don't get ahead of yourself.

That's not how things work.

But sometimes I wonder...

why wouldn't we see... why wouldn't we try to...

You want to come back?

I don't know. We're just talking.

Of course we are, but...

But what?

- Aren't you single? - No.

At least...

No.

Tell me.

I'm expecting a little baby.

Well, a little... A baby.

- Stop teasing me. - It's true.

No, they know.

They're happy about it.

So am I.

Did you tell them who the father was?

- They didn't ask. - That's impossible.

- What did you tell them? - I promise you.

- Then I want to know. Who is it? - You left over three years ago.

You're not going to lecture me, are you?

It's not true.

- It's a joke, right? - No, it's true, Nicolas.

- When will it be born? - In December.

Who is it?

A Canadian. A friend of a friend.

A friend of Claude's. He's gone home now.

I don't even know his address. It doesn't matter.

What's his name?

Paul Morgan. No, Mordon.

No, no. Morgan.

You can come back if you want, Nicolas.

And after dinner, she came out with that.

It's not... it's not possible.

- You laugh, but it's tragic. - Yes, but... Forgive me.

I can't help laughing.

Then what did you do?

I went back to the hotel.

Have you seen Peggy?

Playing the sad clown...

Poor Punch.

You're being nasty.

I'm sorry.

But...

I'm laughing because I love you.

Nicolas!

Nicolas, listen to what's happened to me.

- Tuesday... Are you listening? - Yes.

I was in Vélizy, at the supermarket.

Suddenly, someone taps my shoulder, I turn around...

- Chabrol. - Claude Chabrol?

Yes, sir. Guess what he said.

"Excuse me, sir. I'm shooting a film."

- He recognised you? - No.

"I don't want to use actors, but people selected at random."

Would you believe it? Just when I gave up,

he picked me out of 2,000 people. Incredible, eh?

My only fear is that he'll find out I was an actor.

- So you'll do it? - Of course.

Two months of shooting, two important roles...

Careful, they say he's a joker.

- Claude Chabrol? - Don't worry.

Why are you laughing?

I'm tired.

- You're so beautiful. - I was meeting up with you.

I made an effort.

- Am I late? - I'm the one who's late, Peggy.

- I know that man. - Really? Go on.

- I know him, I tell you. - Well, go on.

OK, I will.

I've changed a lot, you know.

Life, sorrow, time...

So I called you because...

Well, I've changed. And so have you, I suppose.

No, I've done the opposite.

I've retraced my steps.

- I went back to Saint-Germain. - To your husband?

May I have your autograph, sir?

Of course.

Thank you, sir.

So, do you love him? Are you together again?

When I'm alone at night, I can't sleep.

I've been thinking of something we've never had, you and I.

A house. Not a big one, but...

No, it would be too complicated now.

- How about Elizabeth? - Ah, Elizabeth.

- Do you want me to tell you? - Yes.

Nicolas Montei.

I didn't even know that was his name.

And after dinner, she told me that.

I'm sorry.

It's a great story.

You're heart is made of stone.

I feel sorry for your husband.

The day you told me my son had never left home...

Was that true?

You didn't ask Elizabeth?

I didn't dare.

No, I made that up.

Because I was in love with you.

So why are you telling me now?

Because I no longer love you.

- Children belong to everyone. - That's not true.

I mean, he's not mine, but at least he's yours.

I love you. When will he be born?

- December. - He's not mine, but he will be.

This is just the beginning for us.

Cut! Let's do it again! Same scene!

- Children belong to everyone. - That's not true.

I mean, he's not mine, but at least he's yours.

I love you. When will he be born?

- December. - He's not mine, but he will be.

This is just the beginning for us.