Original subtitles

- PREVIOUSLY ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- SO WHAT'S THE LATEST WITH YOUR LITTLE COMPANY?

- I WOULD LOVE IT IF YOU WOULDN'T CALL MY COMPANY LITTLE.

- I WOULD SAY OUR MARRIAGE

IS ABOUT 80% BUSINESS AND 20% ROMANCE.

- WHY DON'T I START GRABBING SOME SHIRTS

OUT OF THE CLOSET FOR YOU?

- ALL RIGHT, SURE. THANKS.

- I'M USED TO KELSEY GOING AWAY FOR TWO WEEKS.

NOT A WHOLE YEAR.

- BYE, BABE!

- BYE.

- I JUST DON'T LIKE THE FACT

THAT YOU DON'T SUPPORT ME IN CERTAIN THINGS.

- OH, MY GOD. YOU JUST WANT YOUR KIDS WITH YOU

BECAUSE YOU DON'T WANT TO BE BY YOURSELF.

- THAT'S NOT TRUE.

- IT MAY LOOK LIKE I HAVE IT ALL,

BUT I WANT MORE.

- IN BEVERLY HILLS, IT'S WHO YOU KNOW,

AND I KNOW EVERYONE.

- MONEY IS WHAT I HAVE, NOT WHO I AM.

- I WAS A CHILD STAR,

BUT NOW MY MOST IMPORTANT ROLE

IS BEING A MOTHER.

- IN A TOWN FULL OF PHONIES,

I'M NOT AFRAID TO BE ME.

- IT'S TIME FOR ME TO COME OUT OF MY HUSBAND'S SHADOW

AND SHINE.

- ARE YOU READY?

- I DON'T KNOW. IT'S BEEN A WHILE.

- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

- SINCE KELSEY LEFT.

I HIT A LITTLE, BUT I DIDN'T PLAY A GAME OR ANYTHING.

WHEN KELSEY'S AWAY, I TEND TO HANG OUT

WITH GUY FRIENDS WHO ARE VERY ATHLETIC, YOU KNOW.

- SO WE'LL JUST GO NICE AND EASY.

- I'M GONNA GO--YEAH. - NICE AND EASY.

- AND THEN MOVE UP TO THE...

I PLAY TENNIS WITH NICK,

AND HE'S ONE OF MY DEAREST, CLOSEST FRIENDS.

SHOULD WE STRETCH OUT OR ANYTHING?

- ARE YOU GONNA STRETCH?

- YEAH, JUST A LITTLE.

- STRETCH THOSE GLUTES.

- I KNOW.

- SHOULD I STRETCH?

- YOU MADE A PROMISE

YOU'RE GONNA PLAY NAKED WITH YOUR JOCK STRAP.

NICK AND I ARE A BIT FLIRTY,

BUT IT'S JUST A FRIENDLY FLIRTATION.

NOTHING NEFARIOUS.

- DO WE NEED TO OPEN UP MORE BALLS,

OR DO YOU THINK WE GOT ENOUGH BALLS?

- WHAT? - WE GOT ENOUGH BALLS, OR...

- UM... - WE'LL SEE HOW WE GO SO FAR.

- OKAY. YOU'VE GOT PLACES TO STORE ALL THOSE BALLS, NICK?

- I GOT PLENTY OF SPACE.

- KELSEY'S FINE WITH ME HANGING OUT WITH HANDSOME NICK

WHILE HE'S AWAY.

IT'S ONE OF HIS BEST FRIENDS.

- READY? - OKAY, GO AHEAD.

SORRY ABOUT THAT.

- GO BACK. HERE WE GO.

- WHOO. [laughs]

- GO. RUN.

- I'M A BIT OF A TOM BOY. I LIKE SPORTS.

SHOOT. OH, MY GOD.

KEEP 'EM COMING.

I FEEL COMFORTABLE HANGING OUT WITH MEN

THAT EITHER I WORK OUT WITH, OR TRAIN WITH,

OR DO, YOU KNOW, PADDLE BOARD

AND DO SPORTS WITH.

ALL KINDS OF SPORTS WITH--NO!

OOH, I'M NOT GONNA GET BACK IN TIME.

- THAT'S ALL RIGHT.

- THAT JUST SOUNDS SO BAD,

THE WHOLE GUY THING.

I NEED A SEC.

I DON'T KNOW IF IT'S YOUR SHEER HOTNESS, OR...

- OR YOU'RE JUST OUT OF BREATH?

- I'M REALLY WORKING UP A SWEAT.

- OR YOU'RE JUST PANTING?

IS THAT IT? YOU WANT TO HIT A COUPLE SERVES?

- JUST SHOW ME THE FORM,

AND THEN WE'LL WRAP IT UP.

- OKAY, READY?

- PERFECT.

- JUST LIKE THAT. ONE MORE.

- THAT WAS PERFECT, NICK.

GORGEOUS.

HE'S HOT. NICK IS HOT. HE'S A STUD.

THANKS.

YOU KNOW, IF KELSEY WAS HERE,

IT WOULD BE KELSEY AND I DOING IT,

BUT NICK HAS KIND OF TAKEN ON THAT ROLE IN MY LIFE.

IT WAS FUN. AH, I'M SO TIRED. AH.

[phone rings]

- HEY, PAUL.

PAUL.

PAUL!

- YEAH?

- COME INTO THE LIBRARY.

- UGH.

YES, MY DARLING.

- GUESS WHAT?

JAY-Z's GONNA BE AT THE PALMS,

AND I WANT TO GO AND I WANT TO TAKE THE GIRLS.

- WITH THE GIRLS.

- YEAH, I WANT TO TAKE 'EM TO VEGAS.

WHAT ABOUT THE GUYS?

YOU GUYS ALREADY HAD YOUR TIME IN SACRAMENTO.

YOU KNOW, LET THE GUYS COME AND HAVE A LITTLE FUN.

- I DON'T KNOW.

- I MEAN, I THINK IT'LL BE NICE. I MEAN, I LOVE JAY-Z.

- PAUL JUST WENT WITH ME TO VEGAS, SO, YOU KNOW,

I'D PLANNED TO MAKE IT A GIRLS' TRIP.

- WE CAN LISTEN TO A LITTLE BIT OF MUSIC.

I THINK THAT'D BE GREAT. - YEAH.

HE WAS SO PERSISTENT,

I GUESS THE GUYS ARE COMING.

- SO HE'S PLAYING AT THE PEARL?

- I'M SURE IT'S ALREADY SOLD OUT,

BUT I HAVE SOME CONNECTIONS THERE.

- YOU'RE THE RIGHT PERSON TO GET GOOD SEATS.

- I, ALONG WITH MY FAMILY, OWN THE PALMS CASINO IN LAS VEGAS,

SO WHEN WE GO I'M ABLE TO PULL A FEW STRINGS

AND GET A LITTLE SPECIAL TREATMENT.

DO YOU WANT TO CALL THE GUYS?

AND I'LL CALL THE GIRLS.

- YEAH, IT'D BE NICE, ALL OF US GETTING TOGETHER.

I THINK THAT'D BE FUN.

ALL RIGHT. YOU NEED ME FOR ANYTHING ELSE?

- UM, NOT AT THIS POINT.

- ALL RIGHT. I'LL SEE YOU IN A COUPLE HOURS?

- ALL RIGHT.

[shoes squeaking]

WOW, THOSE SHOES MAKE A LOT OF NOISE.

[squeaking continues]

[phone rings]

- HEY. - HI.

- OH, ADRIENNE, SO GOOD TO HEAR FROM YOU.

HOW ARE YOU?

- OH, MY GOSH, I MISS YOU.

- UGH. I MISS YOU TOO.

- I HAVE AN IDEA.

I'M THINKING ABOUT, LIKE, INVITING ALL THE GIRLS TO VEGAS.

- OH, I LOVE IT. THAT'S A GREAT IDEA.

- I KNOW KELSEY'S GONE.

- CAMILLE AND I HAVE BEEN FRIENDS FOR A WHILE.

SHE USED TO LIVE IN OUR NEIGHBORHOOD.

AND I KIND OF WANTED TO INCORPORATE HER

WITH THE REST OF MY FRIENDS,

BECAUSE I FELT LIKE SHE WAS A LITTLE LONELY.

I THOUGHT YOU MIGHT ENJOY, YOU KNOW,

GETTING AWAY FOR A WEEKEND WITH THE GIRLS,

AND THE HUSBANDS ARE GONNA COME TOO.

- AND SPEND THAT TIME WITH YOU AND PAUL?

OH, GOD, YOU GUYS ARE A RIOT.

I'D LOVE IT.

YOU KNOW, KELSEY'S AWAY DOING HIS OWN THING IN NEW YORK,

AND I THOUGHT, "WHY NOT?

WHY NOT DO SOMETHING FOR ME?"

YOU KNOW, I'M ALWAYS DOING EVERYTHING FOR EVERYBODY ELSE.

I CAN'T WAIT TO SEE YOU.

THIS IS GONNA BE GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- ALL RIGHT. - OKAY, SWEETIE.

- TAKE CARE. - TALK TO YOU SOON.

BYE-BYE. - BYE.

- HEY, GABE.

- HEY, LISA. HOW ARE YOU?

- GOOD. OOH, THAT LOOKS GOOD.

WHAT IS IT?

- UH, THAT'S A LITTLE RISOTTO.

- OH, YUMMY. HEY, FRANCIS.

- WHAT'S UP, LISA?

- EVERYTHING GOOD?

- EVERYTHING'S FANTASTIC.

- KEN AND I HAVE TWO RESTAURANTS.

WE HAVE SUR IN WEST HOLLYWOOD,

AND WE HAVE VILLA BLANCA, WHICH IS IN BEVERLY HILLS.

OKAY, SO WHAT HAVE YOU GOT TODAY?

- FIGS WRAPPED WITH PROSCIUTTO.

- OKAY, GOOD. - WITH PESTO SAUCE.

- 'CAUSE, YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT TO BE, REALLY, LIKE,

EASY ON THE CARBS FOR THESE GIRLS. YEAH, YEAH.

I TRY TO SPEND QUITE A LOT OF TIME AT VILLA BLANCA.

IT'S MY BABY, SO I HAVE TO NURTURE IT.

I HAVE TO FEED IT EVERY FOUR HOURS.

I DO HAVE TO GO IN AND REALLY WORK IT.

LOBSTER TACOS?

- LOBSTER EMPANADAS.

- OH, OKAY, THAT'D BE GOOD.

- WONTONS... - ALL RIGHT.

OKAY, SO PLATE IT BEAUTIFULLY.

- OKAY. - PUT THE ORCHIDS ON.

- ORCHIDS. - LET US SIT DOWN,

HAVE A DRINK, AND THEN BRING IT OUT.

AND COME OUT AND SAY HI.

DON'T SEND SOMEBODY OUT. COME OUT AND SAY HI.

- ALL RIGHTY. - ALL RIGHT, DARLING.

- HAVE A NICE AFTERNOON, LISA. - OKAY, BYE.

IS THAT THE DOM PERIGNON ROSE?

- YEAH. - LOVE IT.

CEDRIC. - YEAH?

- CAN YOU MAKE SURE THERE'S SOME WHITE WINE ON THE TABLE?

- WHICH WINE? - VILLA BLANCA.

SAUVIGNON BLANC. - OKAY.

- AND PUT SOME ICE IN THE ICE BUCKETS. HELLO.

SO, UM, YOU HAVEN'T MET RUSSELL?

- THAT'S TAYLOR'S HUSBAND, YEAH?

- YEAH. I HAVEN'T MET HIM EITHER,

SO I DON'T KNOW WHAT HE'S GONNA BE LIKE.

I WANTED TO GET THE GROUP TOGETHER

BEFORE WE WENT AWAY TO VEGAS.

CHEERS.

MM.

I'M LOOKING FORWARD TO GOING.

- HELLO, HELLO, HELLO.

- HELLO, DARLING. OH, YOU LOOK GORGEOUS.

JUST LOVELY. I LOVE THAT.

HOW ARE YOU?

MWAH.

CHEERS, DARLING.

SO WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO IN VEGAS?

- I WANT TO GO TO THE CONCERT. JAY-Z.

- GAMBLING?

- YEAH, WE'RE GONNA DO GAMBLING.

- WELL, I'VE BEEN TO VEGAS 100 TIMES,

BUT WHEN YOU GO WITH MISS MALOOF,

IT'S A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE.

SHE OWNS HER OWN HOTEL.

I MEAN, SHE REALLY OWNS THE TOWN.

I MEAN, SHE ACTUALLY DOES OWN THE TOWN.

- HEY. - HI.

IT'S A GOOD-LOOKING CROWD. HOW ARE YOU?

THIS IS RUSSELL.

- YOU MUST BE RUSSELL.

- RUSSELL, YES. NICE TO MEET YOU.

- HELLO, HI. LISA. HI. HI.

- LISA, NICE TO MEET YOU. - NICE TO MEET YOU TOO.

ALL I'VE HEARD FROM TAYLOR

IS THAT RUSSELL IS THIS BIG, SEXY,

TEXAS COWBOY, AND THEN IN WALKS RUSSELL.

- YOU LOOK GREAT, AS USUAL.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR HAVING US.

GORGEOUS RESTAURANT.

- LOVELY.

- MWAH. MWAH.

- THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- BEAUTIFUL, BEAUTIFUL.

- GOT TO LOVE THE AIR KISSES.

- I KNOW. both: MWAH. MWAH.

- I LOVE BEVERLY HILLS,

BUT THERE'S CERTAINLY A LOT

OF SUPERFICIAL KIND OF ATTITUDES HERE.

- MWAH. - YOU LOOK LOVELY.

- MWAH.

- JUST, LIKE, A LOT OF AIR KISSING.

- MWAH. MWAH.

- IT'S VERY DIFFERENT TO WHERE I COME FROM,

BUT I WOULDN'T LIVE ANYWHERE ELSE.

- LOOK WHO'S HERE. - HEY, KIM.

- NICE TO SEE YOU AGAIN. - NICE TO SEE YOU.

- HEY. LOVE YOU.

HI. - SHALL WE GO SIT DOWN?

- YEAH, LET'S GO SIT DOWN.

- IS THERE ENOUGH ROOM FOR US GUYS?

- YEAH, JUST. A LITTLE SPACE ON THE...

CAN YOU BELIEVE I JUST WENT TO THE BATHROOM

AND SOMEBODY AGAIN HAS STOLEN A MIRROR OFF THE WALL?

- OH, COME ON. - HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?

- IS IT ONE OF YOU GUYS? GIVE IT BACK.

[laughter] - SORRY.

- I'M SORRY.

- THAT'S WHY I BROUGHT THIS BIG PURSE.

- HI, HOW ARE YOU?

SO GOOD TO SEE YOU. NICE TO SEE YOU.

- SO THIS IS SMOKED SALMON SASHIMI

WITH A LITTLE VEGETABLE CAVIAR.

- MM.

- AND THEN CEDRIC IS HOLDING AHI TUNA SASHIMI

WITH CRISPY ONIONS AND PONZU SAUCE.

- MM-HMM. - WOW.

- AND I'LL SET THAT DOWN ON THIS SIDE OF THE TABLE.

- GOOD SPOT.

- I'M GONNA DIG IN.

- WELL, HERE'S DINNER. - I KNOW.

- FOR VEGAS. THAT'S IT.

- LISA AND KEN, THIS FOOD IS SO GOOD.

KIM HAS A DATE TONIGHT.

- OH!

- WHAT IS HIS NAME?

- OKAY, HOW DID YOU MEET HIM?

- IS HE CUTE?

- AND WHERE ARE YOU MEETING HIM TONIGHT?

'CAUSE WE'RE ALL COMING.

- HAVE HIM COME MEET YOU HERE

AND WE'LL ALL CHECK HIM OUT.

- THAT WOULD BE FUNNY.

- YEAH, MEET ALL MY FRIENDS.

- I THINK HE NEEDS OUR STAMP OF APPROVAL.

- ABSOLUTELY.

- YEAH, SEE IF HE CAN PASS THE TEST.

- HOW ABOUT I MEET HIM FIRST...

[laughter]

AND THEN I'LL INVITE YOU GUYS.

- WE'LL DECIDE WHETHER YOU LIKE HIM OR NOT.

NO OFFENSE, BUT YOUR PAST CHOICES, MM....

- I BEEN MARRIED THREE TIMES.

WELL, I BEEN MARRIED TWICE, ACTUALLY.

MY FIRST HUSBAND, WE WERE JUST TOO YOUNG.

MY SECOND HUSBAND WAS A GREAT GUY,

AND THEN ONE DAY JUST FLIPPED.

- I THINK YOU'RE BETTER OFF LETTING ME CHOOSE YOUR HUSBAND.

OR WHOEVER.

- I'VE BEEN REALLY HAPPY BY MYSELF.

- YOU KNOW, MY SON'S HAD THE STOMACH FLU THE PAST TWO DAYS,

AND IT'S ALWAYS BETTER WHEN YOUR HUSBAND'S AROUND

TO HELP YOU OUT WITH THAT.

- THOSE ARE THE LITTLE THINGS, HONESTLY, I THINK...

- THAT YOU MISS.

- BUT THEN KELSEY TAKES OFF AND DOES A PLAY FOR A YEAR,

AND I'M WITH THE KIDS, SO...

- RIGHT.

- I MEAN, I DO HAVE HELP. THANK GOD.

- CAMILLE WAS SAYING HOW HARD IT'S GONNA BE

FOR HER BEING A SINGLE MOM WITH KELSEY GONE,

RAISING HER KIDS.

WITH THE FOUR NANNIES.

MUST BE VERY HARD.

- I'VE BEEN DOING THIS A LONG TIME BY MYSELF.

- I GIVE YOU A LOT OF CREDIT.

I RESPECT THAT. THAT'S A LOT OF WORK.

GOOD JOB. GOOD JOB.

- YEAH. - GOOD JOB.

- THANKS.

- THANK YOU ALL FOR COMING.

- I REALLY AM LOOKING FORWARD TO VEGAS...

- OH, WE'RE GONNA HAVE A BLAST. ARE YOU KIDDING?

- YEAH.

- WHAT I LOVE ABOUT VEGAS IS THAT ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

AND YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GONNA HAPPEN WITH THIS GROUP.

THAT'S FOR SURE.

- TO VEGAS.

- VEGAS.

- WE'RE GONNA HAVE SO MUCH FUN.

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- YES!

- TO SEE ALL THESE WOMEN IN HIGH HEELS AND PLAYING BASKETBALL,

HILARIOUS.

- WHAT?

- I GIVE UP.

- I THINK I'M GONNA TAKE THIS DRESS.

- THIS ONE TOO?

- YEAH, YEAH. LET'S TAKE THAT.

KEN, CAN YOU COME IN A SECOND?

- YEAH?

- SHALL I TAKE THIS ONE? DO YOU LIKE THAT?

- I THINK I'D WEAR THAT ON SATURDAY.

- DO I WEAR THAT TO THE CONCERT?

- YEAH.

- PACKING FOR VEGAS? EASY.

DRESSES, HEELS, GLITZ.

WELL, MAYBE I'LL TAKE THAT AS THE RESERVE.

- THAT'S ONE OF MY FAVORITES.

- YOU KNOW, I KNOW ADRIENNE'S GONNA GO ALL OUT,

'CAUSE SHE'S MISS VEGAS,

SO WE HAD TO KIND OF STEP IT UP A NOTCH.

CAN YOU PUT THESE IN A LITTLE BAG?

YOU KNOW, LIKE THE LITTLE SHOE BAG THING.

- YOU HAVEN'T GOT MANY SHOES HAVE YOU?

- OH, STOP IT.

WOMAN CAN NEVER HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

THAT'S FOR SURE.

- SO SHALL I GO AND START MINE, OR--?

- YEAH. YOURS IS ALL THE SAME ANYWAY.

EVERY TIME WE GO AWAY, YOURS IS BORING.

IT'S, LIKE, BLACK JACKET, WHITE SHIRT, AND JEANS.

DARLING, DO YOU NEED MY HELP?

- HAVE YOU...

YOU KNOW, I'M USELESS AT THIS.

- HOW MANY PAIRS OF UNDERPANTS DO YOU NEED?

- THREE.

- YOU NORMALLY WEAR ONE A WEEK.

JUST KIDDING.

OKAY.

- GONNA MISS YOU. - TOY.

- UM, YOU KNOW THAT WE'RE GOING TO SEE JAY-Z.

- DO YOU EVEN KNOW A JAY-Z SONG?

- NO, BUT I KNOW THAT HE'S COOL.

AND I KNOW THAT HE'S MARRIED TO BEYONCE,

AND THAT'S ALL I CARE ABOUT.

I ONLY KNEW WHO HE WAS BECAUSE OF FARRAH,

BUT I WAS EXCITED ANYWAY.

- HONEY, I'M HOME.

- HI. [dog barks]

- SHH. CHLOE.

- HI, GIRLS.

[baby laughs]

- HONEY, I JUST WANT TO SAY ONE THING.

- YEAH.

- I DON'T WANT ONE COMMENT ABOUT THE AMOUNT OF STUFF.

- HONEY, YOU'RE GOING FOR TWO DAYS.

- I'M SERIOUS.

- TWO DAYS.

- I HAVE TO HAVE AT LEAST THREE OUTFITS A DAY,

AND I HAVE TO HAVE BACKUPS.

'CAUSE IF IT'S COLD, IF IT'S HOT,

DEPENDING ON MY MOOD,

IF I FEEL CHUBBY THAT DAY, YOU KNOW,

THE OUTFIT CHANGES.

IT LOOKS LIKE I'M MOVING THERE,

BUT I'M JUST...PREPARED.

OKAY, NO ROOM FOR DAD.

- RUSSELL.

HONEY, YOU KNOW, WE'RE LEAVING FOR VEGAS.

YOU NEED TO PACK, SWEETIE.

I KNOW YOU'VE GOT A MILLION THINGS GOING ON,

BUT YOU'RE GONNA BE NAKED IN VEGAS.

YOU'RE A LITTLE TOO OLD FOR THAT, I THINK.

[laughs]

I STARTED PACKING FOR RUSSELL

WHEN WE FIRST STARTED DATING,

I THINK, JUST AS A SWEET THING TO DO FOR HIM.

YOU WANT TO TAKE THIS? LITTLE CASHMERE?

OKAY, GOOD. LOOKS GOOD ON YOU.

BUT AS IT IS IN MOST MARRIAGES,

AS SOON AS YOU SHOW SOMEONE THAT YOU CAN DO SOMETHING FOR THEM,

IT BECOMES EASIER FOR ME TO DO IT

THAN FOR HIM TO DO IT.

- AND MY BLACK SHIRT.

- OH, THAT-- YOU ALWAYS LOVE THAT.

THE BLACK SHIRT. IT GOES EVERYWHERE WITH US.

UM, LIKE SATURDAY DAY WE'RE GONNA BE AT THE POOL.

- I HAVE TO GO TO SCOTTSDALE ON SATURDAY.

- WHAT? - JUST FOR THREE HOURS.

- HONEY.

- THOUGHT I WOULD KIND OF SQUEEZE IT IN

BEFORE WE COME BACK TO LOS ANGELES.

- OKAY.

YOU'RE SQUEEZING IN WORK

IN THE MIDDLE OF OUR WEEKEND AWAY?

- JUST A LITTLE PIECE.

- HERE WE ARE PLANNING THIS GREAT WEEKEND

AND IT'S A BIG COUPLES GETAWAY,

AND NOW, AS USUAL, SOMEHOW BUSINESS

IS GETTING SLIPPED INTO THE MIDDLE OF IT.

OKAY, SO FORGET DAYTIME SATURDAY FOR RUSSELL.

- I NEED MY LAPTOP.

I NEED MY SUNGLASSES. SOME WORKOUT CLOTHES.

MAYBE A PAIR OF JEANS AND A PAIR OF SLACKS.

AND THEN A COUPLE OF DRESS SHIRTS.

- OKAY. - OKAY.

- DONE.

CONSIDER YOURSELF READY TO FLY.

- PERFECT. - THANK YOU.

[exhales]

- THERE'S MY BAG.

- DON'T GET IT. LET THE GUYS GET IT.

- THAT'S MY MAKEUP. THIS IS JUST MY MAKEUP.

- THAT'S JUST SHOES.

- LISA'S PANTIES ARE IN THAT BAG.

- WHOO-HOO! THIS FEELS LIKE VEGAS, BABY.

- YEAH.

- REMEMBER, WHAT HAPPENS AT THE PALMS

DOESN'T STAY AT THE PALMS.

[laughter]

- WHO'S GONNA GET MARRIED AT ONE OF THOSE CHAPELS?

I'VE ALWAYS WANTED TO GO TO ONE OF THOSE OLD CHAPEL WEDDINGS.

- I WAS NOT BUMMED OUT THAT KELSEY COULDN'T BE THERE.

EVERYBODY WANTS TO KNOW HIM.

THE ATTENTION ALWAYS GOES TO HIM.

SO I'M HAPPY TO BE THERE

WITHOUT THE CONVERSATION BEING ALL ABOUT MY HUSBAND.

I LIKE THAT.

- HI.

HOW ARE YOU DOING?

- GOING TO VEGAS WITH ADRIENNE

IS ALWAYS A BETTER TIME THAN GOING WITHOUT ADRIENNE,

BECAUSE OBVIOUSLY THERE'S DEFINITELY SOME PERKS

IN HANGING OUT WITH THE OWNER OF THE CASINO.

- I WANT TO SHOW YOU THIS VERY, VERY COOL SUITE

CALLED THE HARDWOOD SUITE.

ACTUALLY, LARRY, YOU'RE GONNA TAKE US, RIGHT?

- I'M GONNA TAKE YOU TO THE HARDWOOD SUITE RIGHT NOW.

- I'M NOT ONE TO REALLY SHOW OFF.

THAT'S NOT REALLY MY STYLE.

BUT WHEN I TOOK THE GIRLS THERE,

I REALLY WANTED THEM TO SEE THE HARD WORK WE PUT IN

TO MAKING IT A SPECTACULAR PLACE.

- OH, MY GOD. LOOK AT THIS.

- OVERSIZED BED FOR A BASKETBALL PLAYER.

- MAKES YOU KIND OF FEEL LIKE YOU'RE IN A RAP VIDEO.

- THIS IS A GOOD PLACE TO HAVE A LITTLE PARTY.

- WE DECIDED TO DO A BASKETBALL SUITE,

BECAUSE WE'RE IN THE NBA BUSINESS

ON THE SACRAMENTO KINGS.

WE WANTED TO DO SOMETHING A LITTLE DIFFERENT, UNIQUE,

SOMETHING YOU'LL NEVER EXPERIENCE IN YOUR LIFE.

- ARE YOU SERIOUS? THERE IS A BASKETBALL COURT.

- I KNOW. - THAT'S OUTRAGEOUS.

- WHAT I LOVE ABOUT ADRIENNE

IS THAT SHE'S SO HUMBLE AND LOW KEY,

YOU WOULD NEVER KNOW

THAT SHE OWNS THIS GORGEOUS HOTEL AND CASINO.

- OH, MY GOSH.

WE'RE HAVING A PARTY IN HERE TONIGHT.

- YES!

- TO SEE ALL THESE WOMEN

IN HIGH HEELS AND PLAYING BASKETBALL,

OH, MY GOSH.

HILARIOUS.

- OKAY.

- OH, LISA.

- OKAY, IT'S TIME FOR A DRINK. I GIVE UP.

- THIS IS A GREAT VIEW.

- WELCOME TO VEGAS. WHERE'S THE MINI BAR?

- [laughs]

OH, THIS IS A GORGEOUS ROOM.

WE CAN WATCH THE SUNSET WHILE WE GET READY.

- LET'S FIND THE MINI BAR AND THEN GET NAKED.

- [laughs]

WELL, I MISS OUR LITTLE GIRL,

BUT IT'S KIND OF NICE JUST TO GET AWAY,

JUST THE TWO OF US.

I SO RARELY HAVE YOUR UNDIVIDED ATTENTION

AWAY FROM THE OFFICE.

- IT'S GONNA BE NICE. - YEAH.

- A WEEKEND WITH NO KIDS? - I KNOW.

AND NO WORK?

- HOW LONG HAS IT BEEN?

- YEAH.

- MAYBE A LITTLE WORK.

YOU'RE GONNA MAKE IT BACK

IN TIME FOR THAT CONCERT THOUGH, RIGHT?

- OH, YEAH. ABSOLUTELY.

- ALL RIGHT.

I TRULY WANTED TO MARRY SOMEONE FOR LOVE

AS OPPOSED TO JUST MARRYING

TO GET TO WHERE I WANTED TO BE IN LIFE.

- SO YOU ENJOY THE SPA.

BY THE TIME YOU GET OUT, I'LL BE BACK.

- ALL RIGHT. - ALL RIGHT?

- OKAY.

UNBELIEVABLE.

BUT I KNEW WHEN I MARRIED RUSSELL

THAT HE WORKED NONSTOP,

THAT HE WAS SOMEONE WHO WAS NOT GONNA BE THERE

HOLDING MY HAND AND, YOU KNOW, BE BY MY SIDE

24 HOURS A DAY.

'CAUSE THAT'S ALWAYS BEEN THE WAY IT IS.

OKAY.

I HOPE IT WAS THE RIGHT THING TO DO.

COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- CAMILLE'S DANCING WAS, LIKE,

SHE WAS REALLY SHAKING IT AND MOVING IT.

I THINK ALL THAT'S MISSING WAS A POLE, REALLY.

- MONEY? I MEAN HONEY. COME ON.

THIS IS CUTE, ISN'T IT?

- I LOVE IT. LOOKS GOOD.

LET ME SEE.

YOU LOOK HOT.

- [sighs]

HERE I AM IN THIS BEAUTIFUL HOTEL ROOM ALL BY MYSELF.

LONELY.

KIND OF SAD.

I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE ANYMORE.

I SEE MY SISTERS, AND THEY HAVE THEIR WONDERFUL HUSBANDS,

AND I WANT THAT FOR ME NOW.

I DO WANT TO FIND SOMEBODY THAT I WANT TO GROW OLD WITH.

- HI, IT'S KYLE.

PLEASE LEAVE A MESSAGE. [beep]

- HI, IT'S ME. I'M IN MY ROOM.

IT'S SO BEAUTIFUL.

WANT TO SEE IF YOU'RE IN YOURS YET.

UM, OH, MY GOSH, THERE'S A FIRE ON.

ANYWAY, CALL ME BACK. LOVE YOU.

OH, AND I WANT TO FIND OUT FOR SURE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING.

LOVE YOU.

- HI.

- THE ROOMS ARE SEXY ROOMS, AREN'T THEY?

- YEAH.

- OH, I LOVE MY ROOM. - YEAH, THEY'RE GREAT.

- COCKTAIL FOR THE LADY?

- I DON'T DRINK, SO...

- I HAVE FLAT WATER FOR YOU.

I CAN GET SPARKLING WATER FOR YOU.

- NO, WE WANT A FUN DRINK.

CAMILLE, A FUN DRINK.

- WHAT KIND OF FUN DRINKS DO YOU HAVE?

- PICKLE JUICE MARTINI IS DELICIOUS.

- LET'S GO FOR IT. WHY NOT?

I'M NOT A BIG DRINKER.

I'LL NURSE ONE DRINK ALL NIGHT,

BUT I BARELY DRINK ANY OF IT.

SO IF I DRINK ANYTHING, YOU WILL BE CARRYING ME HOME.

- THAT'S THE PLAN.

- A LOT OF THE GIRLS ARE ALWAYS TRYING TO GET ME DRUNK,

BUT THAT'LL NEVER HAPPEN, BECAUSE I JUST--I DON'T DRINK.

- EVERYBODY REAL QUICK, THIS IS CHEF GINO.

- HEY, CHEF GINO.

- CHEF BARRY.

- BUTTERNUT SQUASH RISOTTO WITH SOME BASIL OIL.

PARMIGIANO-REGGIANO,

LITTLE TOUCH OF MASCARPONE CHEESE, OKAY?

- NICE - GORGEOUS.

- WOW.

- RESTAURANTS, I'M ALWAYS THE ONE THAT'S KIND OF IN CONTROL

AND, YOU KNOW, ORGANIZING EVERYTHING,

SO IT WAS REALLY NICE TO ACTUALLY GIVE UP

AND LET ADRIENNE RUN WITH IT.

- CHEERS, EVERYBODY. - CHEERS.

- NICE TO HAVE ALL OF YOU.

- PAUL, THANK YOU FOR HAVING US.

- RUSSELL, NICE TO MEET YOU.

- TO A VERY FUN AND WONDERFUL EVENING.

- TO OUR HOST.

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR A WONDERFUL WEEKEND.

- THANK YOU.

- WOW. BEAUTIFUL.

- THE, UH... - THE LUMP CRAB.

- YEAH. - I GOT SOME FOR YOU.

- THAT'D BE GREAT.

- EVERYTHING IS SO GOOD. OH, MY GOD.

- THANK YOU.

- I GOT ONE QUICK FUNNY STORY ABOUT ADRIENNE.

SO, YOU KNOW, WHEN I MET ADRIENNE,

SHE SAID, YOU KNOW,

"I WANT TO COOK YOU A BEAUTIFUL DINNER TONIGHT."

SHE COMES OUT WITH THIS PIECE OF CHICKEN

WITH NOTHING ELSE.

PIECE OF CHICKEN ON A PLATE.

AND WHAT SHE DID WAS,

SHE GOT A FROZEN BREAST. - COME ON.

- COOKED IT FOR FIVE MINUTES AND GIVE IT TO ME.

- NO, ON BOTH SIDES.

- YEAH, BOTH SIDES.

AND SHE HAD HER LITTLE DOG, A LITTLE MALTESE,

AND THIS DOG WAS BARKING NONSTOP.

- AND I'M SITTING THERE GOING, "OH, MY GOD."

AND SHE'S SITTING THERE READING A BOOK, RELAXING.

AND I'M SAYING, "OH, MY GOD. HOW CAN YOU DO THIS?"

AND I SAID, "SHE'LL BE AN INCREDIBLE MOTHER."

- LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

THAT REASON ABOUT BEING THE GOOD MOTHER

IS THE EXACT REASON THAT I MARRIED KYLE.

BECAUSE WHEN I MET HER SHE HAD FARRAH,

AND I GOT, LIKE, AN OPPORTUNITY TO SEE, LIKE...

- LIKE A GLASS BALL, YOU GOT TO SEE THE FUTURE.

- IT WAS REALLY COOL, AND IT WAS IMPORTANT.

- BEFORE THE TRIP, I THOUGHT,

"OH, I'LL BE THE ONLY ONE ALONE AGAIN."

I THOUGHT, "I'LL BE FINE."

BUT HONESTLY TO BE ALONE WAS,

YOU KNOW, REALLY DIFFICULT FOR ME.

[laughter]

- I WANT TO HEAR ABOUT CAMILLE AND KELSEY.

- UM, HIS AGENT SET US UP.

HIS AGENT WAS A REALLY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE.

AND HIS AGENT SAID, "WHY DON'T YOU COME TO NEW YORK WITH ME?

"I KNOW A GIRL IN NEW YORK THAT YOU'D REALLY LIKE,

AND I THINK YOU MIGHT EVEN MARRY HER,"

AND SURE ENOUGH WE MET.

IT WAS A BLIND DATE.

- AND THE REST IS HISTORY. - AND THE REST IS HISTORY.

- WHAT DID HE TELL HIM ABOUT HER

THAT MADE HIM WANT TO FLY ACROSS THE COUNTRY?

HMM.

AND WHAT ABOUT-- WHERE'D YOU GUYS MEET?

- I HAD MY ATTORNEY CALL HER ATTORNEY.

[laughter]

- AND THE PRENUP WAS WRITTEN. NO, NO, NO.

- WELL, NO, THE PRENUP WAS ALREADY, UM...

- YES, ESTABLISHED.

- WE MET IN A RESTAURANT WAITING FOR A TABLE.

AND I SAW HIM FROM A DISTANCE AND DECIDED THAT--

I SAW HIM FROM A DISTANCE,

AND I JUST KNEW I WAS GONNA BE WITH HIM ONE WAY OR ANOTHER.

- [clears throat]

I JUST DON'T BELIEVE FOR A SECOND

THAT TAYLOR WOULD SEE RUSSELL ACROSS THE ROOM.

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?

- AND HE AVOIDED ME LIKE THE PLAGUE.

- WAIT A MINUTE. USUALLY IT'S THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

- I RAN FOR THREE MONTHS.

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU? SHE'S GORGEOUS.

- I RAN. - I HAD TO CHASE HIM FOR MONTHS.

- WHAT? - WAIT A MINUTE.

- WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

- I WAS JUST HAPPY BEING SINGLE AT THE TIME, AND...

- TAYLOR, LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT.

YOU HAD YOUR EYES ON HIM? - YEAH.

- ...SUCH A GREAT CATCH.

NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH THIS PICTURE?

- I WOULD LIKE TO THINK THAT HE WENT ON BENDED KNEES

AND CRAWLED A THOUSAND MILES TO GET THAT GIRL.

I MEAN, TAYLOR'S A BRIGHT, VIVACIOUS, ATTRACTIVE WOMAN.

EVIDENTLY, OPPOSITES ATTRACT.

IN VEGAS, THE NIGHT NEVER ENDS WITH DINNER,

SO WE WENT TO ADRIENNE'S CLUB IN THE CASINO.

- YOU GO, GIRL!

THE WAY CAMILLE MOVES WHEN SHE'S DANCING,

I CAN SEE WHY KELSEY MARRIED HER.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW, SHE'S VERY SEXY.

- OH, MAN.

- WHOO!

- ALL OF THE HUSBANDS,

EVERY ONE OF 'EM WAS UP AND DANCING,

AND THE SURPRISING THING TO ME

IS MY HUSBAND DIDN'T EVEN DANCE AT MY WEDDING.

SO THIS WAS A FIRST FOR RUSSELL AND ME

TO GET UP AND DANCE TOGETHER.

- WHOO!

- I THINK ALL THE GIRLS LET LOOSE IN VEGAS.

THEY ALL HAD A GREAT TIME.

- CAMILLE'S DANCING WAS, LIKE,

SHE WAS REALLY SHAKING IT AND MOVING IT.

I THINK ALL THAT'S MISSING WAS A POLE, REALLY.

- IT'S NOT THAT I DON'T TRUST MY HUSBAND.

IT'S THAT I DON'T TRUST OTHER WOMEN.

WOMEN ARE BARRACUDAS.

YOU COME NEAR MY HUSBAND, AND I WILL...[hisses].

COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- ON THE OPERATING TABLE,

THE DOCTOR SAID, "I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU,

'CAUSE YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL BREASTS."

- OH, REALLY? - YEAH.

AND KELSEY SAT IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE AND WENT, "NO!"

[laughter]

- ANY TRICKS IN THOSE BAGS OF YOURS, LADIES?

- WELL, NEVER HURTS TO HAVE A LITTLE EYELINER.

- ALL RIGHT.

- YOU DON'T NEED MAKEUP.

THAT'S THE SAD TRUTH OF IT, MISSY.

- NO, I DO. I DO.

- OH, I DO LIKE THIS BLUSH, THOUGH.

WHAT'S IT CALLED? - ORGASM.

- MM, WHAT A COINCIDENCE.

[laughter]

- NO WONDER I WAS ENJOYING IT SO.

MY CHEEKS HAVE NEVER BEEN SO HAPPY.

WOULD YOU LIKE SOME?

- NO, THANK YOU.

I'VE HAD ONE ALREADY TODAY.

- OH, I SEE. [laughter]

- WHAT A BEAUTIFUL DAY, HUH?

- YEAH.

- I LOVE IT. NICE.

WHAT A NICE DAY.

- OKAY, GREAT. THANK YOU SO MUCH.

- ALL RIGHT.

- OH, IT'S PERFECT.

- IT'S BEAUTIFUL OUT.

- ARE YOU HUNGRY? DO YOU WANT TO EAT SOMETHING?

- I ACTUALLY DO WANT TO EAT SOMETHING.

- DID YOU EAT THIS WEEK?

- NO, I WAS TRYING NOT TO EAT THAT MUCH

SO THAT I WOULD FEEL GOOD FOR VEGAS.

- WELL, WE FEEL REALLY GOOD

UNTIL CAMILLE WALKS IN. - YEAH, EXACTLY.

WE'RE GONNA HAVE TO PUSH CAMILLE IN THE POOL.

- THAT'S A FANTASTIC IDEA, AS LONG AS YOU DO IT.

- GOOD MORNING, GUYS. - HEY.

- HI.

- HELLO, LADIES. GOOD MORNING.

- I WAS A LITTLE CHILLY, SO I HAD TO COVER UP A LITTLE.

- OH, YOU WAIT TILL CAMILLE TAKES IT OFF.

YOU KNOW IT'S GONNA BE SPECTACULAR.

- YOU LOOK GREAT. - THANK YOU.

- HOLY TOLEDO.

I WOULD BE RUNNING AROUND WITH A NAPKIN ON

IF I HAD HER BODY.

- WHERE SHOULD I PUT MY ROBE?

- WE HAVE THE SAME SHOES ON, CAM.

- DO WE?

- I KNOW. WE ALL HAVE THE SAME SHOES.

WE'RE ROCKING THE SAME SHOE.

- HI, GIRLS. - HI.

- HI, DARLING. - HELLO, EVERYBODY.

- I FEEL MORE COMFORTABLE HANGING OUT WITH MEN THAN WOMEN,

BECAUSE I THINK WOMEN CAN BE VERY CATTY,

AND I DON'T LIKE CATTINESS.

YOU'RE GONNA MOVE ME? - YEAH.

- GET--OKAY. [laughs]

I'M ALWAYS IN THE MIDDLE OF THE MEN.

THIS IS GONNA LOOK REALLY BAD FOR ME.

- I LIKE SPORTS AND ENJOYING MYSELF.

LIFE'S TOO SHORT.

- YOU GUYS WANT A SHOT?

- I'LL TAKE A SHOT.

- WHAT DO YOU WANT?

- BUT ONLY IF SOMEBODY KEEPS ME COMPANY.

- ALL RIGHT.

- OKAY, I'LL HAVE A TEQUILA SHOT.

- YES! - OH, YAY!

- YES.

- OH. OKAY, YES.

- THE GUYS ARE SO MUCH FUN.

- MR. MEXICO.

- AND YOU KNOW WHAT?

THEY DON'T EDIT THEMSELVES.

THEY JUST SAY WHATEVER'S ON THEIR MIND.

THEY FEEL, THEY SAY IT.

THE WOMEN ARE STILL EDITING THEMSELVES.

[speaking Spanish]

- "UP AND DOWN AND THE CENTER AND IN," RIGHT?

- AND THEN YOU TAKE A LITTLE SALT,

A LITTLE TEQUILA, AND A LITTLE LIME.

- WHAT ARE YOU SIPPING IT FOR?

- CAMILLE, YOU'VE GOT TO DO IT DOWN IN ONE,

OTHERWISE YOU'RE NOT GONNA DO IT.

GO ON.

- YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ME TO DRINK.

YOU GUYS ARE TRYING TO GET ME TO DRINK.

I LIKE THIS TECHNIQUE BETTER.

- THIS ONE'S BETTER, RIGHT?

- CAMILLE HAS ADMITTED THAT SHE IS A GUY'S GIRL,

NOT A GIRL'S GIRL.

- MM.

- AND I THINK THAT'S OBVIOUS.

- I WISH I NEVER HAD THEM DONE FROM THE BEGINNING.

ON THE OPERATING TABLE, THE DOCTOR SAID,

"I SHOULD HAVE LISTENED TO YOU,

BECAUSE YOU HAVE BEAUTIFUL BREASTS."

- OH, REALLY? - YEAH.

- YOU TOOK THEM OUT?

- YES, AND I TOLD THE DOCTOR

THAT I DON'T WANT IMPLANTS ANYMORE.

I'M DONE. I'M DONE. I'M FINISHED.

I CAN'T PLAY GOL-- YOU KNOW, I WANT TO SWING,

I WANT TO PLAY GOLF, I WANT TO DO THINGS.

THEY GET IN THE WAY.

- CAMILLE WAS SITTING THERE TALKING ABOUT HER BREASTS,

AND KELSEY SAT IN THE DOCTOR'S OFFICE AND WENT,

"NO!"

- AS IF MY HUSBAND NEEDS HIS ATTENTION DRAWN TO HER BREASTS.

NO, THANK YOU, CAMILLE.

- I WONDER WHERE RUSSELL IS RIGHT NOW EXACTLY.

- IN PHOENIX.

- BUT WHAT IS HE DOING?

- PLAYING GOLF.

[laughter]

- CLOSING A $25 MILLION DEAL.

- YEAH, ON THE GOLF COURSE.

- WELCOME BACK.

- I HAVE NO IDEA WHERE RUSSELL WENT,

BUT I FELT BAD FOR TAYLOR.

I COULD TELL SHE WAS EITHER EMBARRASSED,

OR FELT SAD THAT HE LEFT.

I FELT BAD.

- RUSSELL'S NOT HERE.

- I KNOW. HE'S IN PHOENIX, RIGHT?

- YEAH.

- I WAS REALLY IRRITATED AND DISAPPOINTED,

BECAUSE I WANTED TO SPEND TIME WITH HIM,

AND I WANTED HIM TO HAVE A CHANCE

TO BOND WITH MY FRIENDS AND THEIR HUSBANDS,

AND HE WASN'T THERE.

- SO I'M GONNA HEAD UP,

BECAUSE I GOT TO GET READY.

- ACTUALLY, WE HAVE TO GO ANYWAY,

'CAUSE WE HAVE TO EAT DINNER BY 5:30.

WE'RE GONNA EAT BEFORE THE CONCERT.

WE SHOULD GO, BECAUSE WE'RE NOT GONNA HAVE A LOT OF TIME.

- WHAT IS EVERYBODY WEARING?

- DRESSING UP, I THINK.

- I'M WEARING WHITE JEANS.

- YOU'RE GONNA WEAR A WHITE ELVIS SUIT,

IS WHAT YOU'RE GONNA WEAR.

- HELLO. HOW'S IT GOING?

- HELLO. - HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- THANK YOU. - THANK YOU.

IT'S BEAUTIFUL.

- OH, I LIKE IT.

- LISA, YOU SIT THERE, KIM, YOU SIT THERE,

I'LL SIT HERE, AND THEN THE GIRLS WILL GO THIS WAY.

- ISN'T THAT A BIT SELFISH?

JUST PLUNK YOURSELF IN THE MIDDLE OF THE TABLE.

- WELL, WE ARE THE FIRST ONES HERE, AREN'T WE?

- ALL RIGHT THEN. [laughter]

- WE WENT TO AN EARLY DINNER.

VERY EARLY DINNER.

FELT MORE LIKE BREAKFAST TO ME FOR VEGAS,

BUT WE HAD TO MAKE IT TO THE JAY-Z CONCERT.

- I'M GONNA STICK WITH A MARGARITA ON THE ROCKS.

HONEY, WHAT KIND OF TEQUILA DO I LIKE IN THE MARGARITA?

- STRAIGHT FROM THE BOTTLE?

- PATRON.

- UH, WHAT KIND OF VODKA DO I LIKE?

- BELVEDERE.

- WHY DO WE NOT KNOW OUR OWN DRINKS?

- 'CAUSE WE NEVER ORDER THEM.

- THAT'S WHAT YOU HAVE HUSBANDS FOR.

- THAT'S WHAT WE'RE FOR. EXACTLY.

- HELLO.

- HEY. - HEY.

- ALL RIGHT.

HOW WAS YOUR TRIP?

- DID YOU GO TO PHOENIX?

PHOENIX AND THEN TUCSON.

[laughs]

- HOW'D YOU MANAGE TO DO THAT?

- UH, VERY QUICKLY.

[laughter]

- THAT'S FUNNY. - HEY.

- HI. - HI, EVERYBODY.

- WOW.

- I LOVE THAT.

- YEAH, WE'RE PROBABLY A LITTLE OVERDRESSED,

BUT WE'RE REPRESENTING BEVERLY HILLS,

SO COME ON, BRING IT ON. HERE WE GO.

- HELLO. RUSSELL'S BACK!

[laughter]

HOW WAS THE GOLF GAME?

[laughter]

- HONEY, THE JIG IS UP.

- THE JIG IS UP.

- EXCELLENT.

- CAN'T WAIT TO TRY IT.

- EATING TOO MUCH THIS WEEKEND.

- OH, MY GOD.

- HI. HOW ARE YOU?

HOW ARE YOU?

HI. HOW ARE YOU?

- HI. - IT'S NICE TO SEE YOU.

- I'M SO SORRY TO INTERRUPT. - WHAT ARE YOU DOING HERE?

- TRISHA AND I HAD SOME BUSINESS TO DO IN VEGAS,

AND I THOUGHT I'D COME AND SAY HI.

- I'M SO GLAD. ARE YOU GONNA HANG OUT WITH US TONIGHT?

ARE YOU FREE?

- I'M FREE FOR, LIKE, COUPLE HOURS.

I'LL BE YOUR DATE FOR THE...

- OH. [laughter]

I'VE BEEN SO LONELY.

- ARE YOU KELSEY?

- I'M NOT KELSEY.

[laughter]

- NO, KELSEY IS A VERY GOOD FRIEND OF MINE, SO...

- KELSEY PROBABLY SENT HIM TO SPY ON ME.

- THIS MAN IS VERY, VERY HANDSOME.

I THINK CAMILLE THOUGHT KELSEY HAD SENT HIM

TO KIND OF KEEP AN EYE ON HER.

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S THE RIGHT GUY TO BE SENDING, THOUGH.

- HI. - HI.

- THE GIRLS ARE ALL LIKE, "YOU CAN STAY HERE."

- YEAH.

- I DON'T WANT TO CRASH. - OH, PLEASE CRASH.

PLEASE CRASH, RIGHT?

- ARE YOU SURE? IS THAT ALL RIGHT?

- DID YOU SEE ALL THE MEN? THEIR FACES?

LIKE, "WHO IS THAT?"

- THAT'S A GOOD LOOKING GUY,

THE SON OF A GUN.

I'M JEALOUS.

- HEY, THAT'S NOT FAIR.

YOU GUYS HAVE YOUR WIVES.

AND I DON'T HAVE A HUSBAND,

SO IT'S MY RENT-A-HUSBAND.

- RENT-A-HUSBAND.

- OH, OH, OH, WAIT.

- OH!

- WE HAVE TO GET YOU A RENT-A-HUSBAND.

- I LOVE NICK.

- OH, LOOK AT THIS.

- I MEAN, I WOULD NOT KISS MY FRIEND'S HUSBAND

ON THE LIPS HELLO.

BUT, HEY, TO EACH HIS OWN.

RAWR.

- EVERY COUPLE MONTHS.

WE JUST KIND OF-- OVERNIGHT.

- YOU HAVE GREAT SEX.

[laughs]

- YEAH.

- OH, WOW.

LOVE THAT.

- AND THEN DESSERT ARRIVED.

- FABULOUS!

- THERE WAS, LIKE, DING DONGS AND HO HOs

AND COTTON CANDY.

IT WAS AN INTERESTING ARRAY OF DESSERTS.

- TAYLOR WAS PLAYING WITH THAT COTTON CANDY.

SHE WAS KIND OF LICKING IT AND CHEWING IT.

DOING THINGS THAT I ONLY READ ABOUT IN BOOKS.

[laughter]

- YOU'RE MISSING JIGGY, AREN'T YOU, LOVE?

- THAT LOOKS LIKE A LITTLE POODLE.

- I'M JUST SO ATTRACTED TO IT.

I CAN'T--I CAN'T HELP MYSELF.

- WHO WOULDN'T WANT TO GO SEE JAY-Z?

HE'S FABULOUS. AN AMAZING PERFORMER.

- I LIKE JAY-Z.

I DON'T KNOW ANY OF HIS SONGS

EXCEPT FOR THE NEW YORK SONG.

I DON'T KNOW IF THAT'S THE NAME OF IT,

BUT SOMETHING TO DO WITH NEW YORK.

THEY SAID IF IT'S TOO LOUD, YOU'RE TOO OLD.

I'M TOO OLD.

WHEN THEY'RE RAPPING,

THEY'RE SAYING ALL THESE THINGS AND DOING IT SO QUICKLY,

AND I JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND A WORD HE'S SAYING

EXCEPT [mumbling].

[all cheering, speaking indistinct]

- THAT WAS AMAZING!

WHOO-HOO!

- TADA.

- OH, MY GOD. THAT IS GORGEOUS.

- WOW. - ISN'T THAT AMAZING?

- LOOK AT THAT. - OH, THAT'S GORGEOUS.

- THE VIEW FROM THE PENTHOUSE WAS SPECTACULAR,

AND THE GIRLS I THINK WERE SHOCKED

TO SEE HOW BEAUTIFUL VEGAS IS, ESPECIALLY FROM OUR SUITE.

TO WONDERFUL FRIENDS.

VIVA LAS VEGAS.

- VIVA LAS VEGAS.

- HELLO, LAS VEGAS.

- WHOO-HOO!

WE ARE HERE.

[all cheer]

- YOU KNOW, I DID FEEL LIKE CAMILLE

WAS REALLY OFF ON HER OWN A LITTLE.

I DON'T KNOW IF SHE WAS DISTRACTED, OR...

SHE JUST SEEMED TO BE A BIT DISTANT FROM THE GROUP.

- OOH, I'M GONNA GO, 'CAUSE I'M COLD, YOU GUYS.

THE VIEW, IT WAS SPECTACULAR,

BUT THEN I THOUGHT TO MYSELF,

"I DON'T REALLY KNOW THESE GIRLS STILL."

I MEAN, THEY'RE BONDING RIGHT NOW.

BYE-BYE.

AND I'M STILL THE OUTSIDER.

- NICE SHOT.

- TWO, BABY.

- THAT WAS SWEET.

- WE SHOULD PLAY A GAME WITH OUR HUSBANDS

WHERE THEY HAVE TO END UP IN HIGH HEELS.

- WE DON'T DO HIGH HEELS. SORRY.

- YOUR HUSBAND DOES IT WHEN YOU'RE NOT HOME.

DON'T WORRY.

- I MARRIED THE BULL-RIDING TEXAS COWBOY.

HE WILL NOT WEAR HEELS.

- OH, MY GOD.

- OH!

- CAN YOU NOT CONNECT THE DOTS?

- NO, I CANNOT, TO BE HONEST.

- RUSSELL WAS KIND OF ON THE PERIPHERY.

I DON'T THINK HE REALLY CONNECTED OR BONDED WITH US.

- HOW WE DOING?

- GOOD.

- GOOD, GOOD.

LET'S GET SOME FOOD.

- I WAS BUMMED. I DIDN'T WANT TO LEAVE.

I WAS HAVING A GOOD TIME. WE'RE IN VEGAS.

- YOU READY, BABE? - YEAH.

- WHEN HE SAYS IT'S TIME TO GO, IT'S GENERALLY TIME TO GO.

YOU KNOW, RUSSELL DRIVES THE BUS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.

I WOULD BE SO ANNOYED IF MAURICIO DID THAT TO ME.

WHAT IS HE, HER FATHER?

PARTY WAS OVER FOR TAYLOR. NOT GOOD.

- COMING UP ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES...

- SHE SAID, "I DON'T LIKE BEING INTERROGATED."

- I WAS JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED

THAT SHE WENT THERE WITH ME.

- LET'S GET THE STORY STRAIGHT.

I DIDN'T SAY THOSE THINGS.

- I NEED TO GET SOME NEW JEANS.

THEY CAME IN, UH, PETITES NOW.

- OOH.

- SO NOW I DON'T HAVE TO GO HAVE EVERYTHING ALTERED.

LOVE THAT.

- HI THERE.

- HI, LADIES. HOW ARE YOU DOING TODAY?

- GOOD. HOW ARE YOU?

- SO WHAT ARE WE LOOKING FOR?

- I NEED TO GET SOME NEW JEANS.

THINK YOU WANTED TO GET SOME TOO.

- OKAY. I'LL PICK OUT A FEW THINGS.

- THANK YOU.

I HAVE TO FILL YOU IN ON WHAT HAPPENED IN VEGAS.

- WHAT HAPPENED?

- THE WHOLE WEEKEND WAS SO MUCH FUN.

WE WERE LAUGHING AND GAMBLING, AND...

THEN IT WAS THE WEIRDEST THING.

THE LAST DAY I SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU GUYS ALL DOING THIS WEEK?"

AND CAMILLE SAID, "I'M LEAVING FOR HAWAII."

SO I SAID, "IS KELSEY MEETING YOU?

SHE SAID NO, AND I SAID, "ARE YOU TAKING GIRLFRIENDS?"

AND SHE SAID NO.

AND I WAS THINKING, "WELL, THAT'S GREAT,

TO GO ON A VACATION WITH YOUR KIDS, SPRING BREAK..."

- AND YOU'RE JUST SO SURPRISED,

'CAUSE YOU'VE NEVER DONE ANYTHING LIKE THAT.

- WELL, YEAH, THAT'S WHAT WAS GOING THROUGH MY HEAD.

SO I SAID, "OH, REALLY? WOW, WHAT ARE YOU GUYS GONNA DO?"

AND SHE SAID, YOU KNOW,

"OH, YOU KNOW, WE'VE GOT A LOT OF STUFF PLANNED,"

BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

AND THEN ALL OF A SUDDEN SHE SAYS TO ME,

"WHY DOES THIS BOTHER YOU SO MUCH?"

- WHAT?

IT WAS REALLY WEIRD.

IT CAME TOTALLY OUT OF LEFT FIELD.

I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT,

SO I SAID, "WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?"

- WHY WOULD IT BOTHER YOU ANYWAYS?

THAT'S WHAT I SAID. I SAID, "WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

WHY DOES WHAT BOTHER ME?"

SHE SAID, "I CAN FEEL YOUR TENSION."

'CAUSE THAT'S HOW SHE TALKS. VERY LIKE THAT.

"I CAN FEEL YOUR TENSION."

THEN SHE SAID, "I DON'T LIKE BEING INTERROGATED."

- WE'VE GOT TO GO IN HERE. WE'VE GOT TO GO IN HERE.

- OH, OH, FABULOUS. GREAT.

- I LOVE IT IN HERE.

- DID YOU TALK TO ANY OF THE GIRLS, CAMILLE?

- I HAVEN'T TALKED TO KYLE,

AND I WAS GONNA BRING THAT UP,

'CAUSE KYLE AND I LEFT ON AN UNCOMFORTABLE NOTE.

- I KNOW. I KNOW.

- AND I'M UPSET ABOUT IT.

I JUST HOPE THAT EVERYTHING IS OKAY.

- I REALLY THINK YOU GUYS SHOULD TALK.

- KYLE STARTED ASKING ME QUESTIONS ABOUT HAWAII.

I FELT LIKE I WAS BEING INTERROGATED.

AND THEN SHE CAME OUT WITH A REAL SNIDE COMMENT.

SHE SAID, "WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE INTERESTED IN BEING WITH YOU

WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

WELL, OW. THAT HURTS.

- SHE DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT.

I THINK YOU MISINTERPRETED IT.

I REALLY DO.

- IF ANYBODY SAYS TO ME,

"WHY WOULD ANYBODY BE AROUND WITHOUT KELSEY THERE?"

THAT'S SUCH A LOW BLOW.

SO YOU DIDN'T HEAR THAT PART?

- NO, I DIDN'T HEAR IT. - THAT'S WHAT SHE SAID TO ME.

- I DON'T THINK THAT SHE MEANT THAT AT ALL.

SOMEBODY CAN SAY SOMETHING,

AND WHAT THAT PERSON SAYS ISN'T WHAT THE OTHER PERSON HEARS.

- I WAS JUST A LITTLE SURPRISED THAT SHE WENT THERE WITH ME.

- I WOULD NEVER THINK SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I WOULD NEVER SAY SOMETHING LIKE THAT.

I'M, LIKE, SCARED TO TALK TO HER NOW.

I MEAN, TO ME, IF SOMEONE SNAPS LIKE THAT

FROM ME JUST ASKING, "WHAT'S YOUR SPRING BREAK?"

THEN I REALLY DON'T KNOW WHAT TO SAY.

- AND I KNOW YOU DIDN'T THINK IT WAS MUCH,

BUT YOU WEREN'T IN ON THE WHOLE CONVERSATION.

- BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND WHY YOU REACTED LIKE THAT, TO BE HONEST.

I DON'T SEE, YOU KNOW, YOUR POINT OF VIEW.

- DON'T THROW JABS AT ME,

BECAUSE I WILL STAND UP FOR MYSELF.

- I MEAN, I DON'T KNOW. WHAT DO I DO?

YOU'RE STUDYING PSYCHOLOGY.

WHAT DOES THIS MEAN?

- WHAT IT MEANS IS NOTHING CHANGES FROM HIGH SCHOOL.

- LET'S GET THE STORY STRAIGHT.

I DIDN'T SAY THOSE THINGS.

ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

THIS FEELS LIKE ELEMENTARY SCHOOL.

IT REALLY DOES.

- NEXT TIME ON THE REAL HOUSEWIVES OF BEVERLY HILLS...

- A GOOD SIZE PARTY,

IT COULD BE--THEY RUN AROUND MAYBE 50,000.

- AWESOME. OKAY.

- LOOKING GOOD, BABY.

- OH, THANKS. - LOOKING GOOD.

- I'M JUST GONNA HAVE PEOPLE COME AROUND

AND JUST KISS MY ASS AND TELL ME HOW WONDERFUL I AM.

- AND YOU'RE HOT. YOU'RE GOOD EYE CANDY.

- PLEASE, MORE, MORE.

- DO YOU HAVE, LIKE,

A PROBLEM WITH DRUGS AND EVERYTHING?

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