Original subtitles

Previously, on The West Wing:

You know the thing with guys like you?

What's the thing about guys like me?

You want to get hit over the head.

I have to go.

We'll see ya.

I went to rehab.

My friends embraced me when I got out.

You relapse, it's not like that.

"Get away from me."

That's what it's like.

Mr. McGarry, the day Jed Bartlett was...

No, I'm sorry.

Mr. McGarry

I'm going to resume this after the holidays. What?

Mr. McGarry, that concludes

our questioning for today.

We'll pick it up here

when the Chairman gavels these hearings back to order.

Good evening.

Good evening. Good evening.

What are the police doing outside?

The door? Yeah.

That's the Capitol Police.

I know. What are they doing out there?

Well, I didn't ask for them.

Who did?

Would you prefer they went away?

If you're going to put a deal on the table

I'd prefer there not be armed guards

outside the door to intimidate him.

I'm not that easily intimidated.

I am. The Chairman put 'em there

to insure our privacy.

Tell them to wait at the end of the hall.

Counsel?

They've stepped to the other side of the hall.

Cliff... Oh, you want me to overpower them, Jordan?

I don't care if the police are out there.

Can somebody speak?

Yeah. Mr. McGarry,

this entire conversation's off the record.

You'll see nobody's taking it down.

You mean, what you're about to say

or the five minutes we just did on the Capitol Police?

The whole thing.

Okay.

Congressman Gibson.

Yeah.

You know where his testimony was about to go.

Yes. And where it'll pick up

once the hearings convene again. Yes.

We're willing to end the hearings right now.

End his testimony? His testimony

the First Lady's, the balance of the witness list...

the hearings.

We're willing to end them right now.

In exchange for? A joint resolution.

HR 172.

JORDAN: Censure.

Yeah, a resolution condemning the President

for lying to... He didn't lie.

Leo... Condemning the President

for lying to the American people.

Look, I'm not...

The White House can't object.

In fact, it has to welcome the resolution

and let any Democrat who wants to

vote in favor of it.

You keep saying the White House

but you mean the President.

Yeah.

Why aren't you talking to the President?

We think if the suggestion

comes from you, it'll carry more weight

than if the suggestion comes from

the Chairman or the Speaker. Yeah?

Yes, sir.

Okay, well...

I'll just call the President and suggest to him

that he allow a huge bipartisan vote

on the floor of the U.S. House of Representatives

calling him a liar

and that he welcome the result.

Then, I'm going to flap my wings and fly to Neverland.

Leo...

You think I am so desperate

to save my ass, I'm going to roll over on Jed Bartlet?

I don't think it's a matter of...

I take a bullet for the President.

He doesn't take one for me.

Is that all you got?

Yeah.

Good night.

Can you give me some time?

One day.

All right, I've got copies.

Have you read it?

Bits and pieces.

How is it?

I'm going to set up a war room downstairs.

It's serious? Yeah.

I'm up!

All right...

this is

The Camera Doesn't Lie: What I Saw

at the Bartlett White House by Ron Burkhalt.

Have you read it? Bits and pieces.

How is it?

I'm setting up a war room downstairs. It's serious?

How many times do you think we're going to have to do this?

I'm up.

We're each taking a couple of chapters.

This is just based on what, Ginger?

Going through the index.

So, presumably the chapters you've been assigned

are about you.

If not, trade with somebody.

What we're doing is making note

of anything big or small that's wrong.

Anything I can use to attack credibility.

Okay, right away I see one.

What?

I'm Larry, he's Ed.

I usually don't know that.

Sam? Yeah.

Are we taking this a little too seriously?

No. He was a White House photographer.

He was fired.

My recollection is that he was a buffoon.

He was a buffoon, which

has always stopped the American public

to say nothing of the press

from taking something seriously.

So what are you saying?

The book's in stores in three weeks.

In a week, the press will have excerpts.

That's how much time I have to turn this guy into a punch line.

"Bartlet was playing a round of golf with Toby Ziegler

"the prickly, mumbling Communications Director

"whose inner, bitter darkness spelled the breakup

of the one marriage we know about."

It was miniature golf, wasn't it?

Yeah.

Sam, got anything else?

No. Thank you.

Toby?

Yeah.

Listen.

You know Amy Gardner, right?

Women's Leadership Coalition.

Yeah. Yeah.

I've know her for a while, actually.

She went out with my roommate in college.

Huh.

I saw her a couple of weeks ago

about some language in the Vienna Treaty. I remember.

Mrs. Bartlet sent me there. Yeah.

I don't know, she changed her hair or something

something's going on.

What do you need?

Well, I'm a straight shooter.

I think my record's pretty clear on that.

Yeah.

I'd like to see her again.

Call her.

And ask her out? Yeah.

No, no.

'Cause there's a potential she says no

and then I have to move someplace

where it'll never be spoken of again.

Yeah.

I need to come in under the cover of business.

'Cause you're a straight shooter. Yeah.

I need a point of friction.

An issue where the feministas

and the White House disagree.

That way, I can go to her

break the bad news, stand tough, smooth it over

and then, you know, I take it from there.

How about the word "feministas"?

Nah. Come on, you've been doing outreach

to the women's groups on the State

of the Union-- where are we? They're happy.

Very happy? Yeah.

With the surplus projections changing?

Women are getting a decent break.

Damn-- where the hell are the pro-lifers when you need them?

Sons of bitches, don't they know you're trying to get...

Hey, this is not that.

She's got...

I really... I'm... bewitched.

I'm ensorcelled.

There's got to be some way we're screwing them over.

There's an anti-family planning amendment on Raleigh's

foreign ops supplemental...

We killed it in Committee.

Pay Equity Act?

They're the ones who want to wait.

Breast cancer screenings through Medicare?

Fully funded.

Head Start's okay. What about paid family leave?

They know it's a dream

they don't want us to waste the capital.

We can't just compromise like that.

They want us to compromise, like that.

They should be outraged.

They're not, they just want a study funded.

How much we putting towards the study?

Almost everything they asked for.

Almost?

They wanted $21 million

they're getting $20.5.

Well, that's practically an insult.

Yeah.

Paid family leave, there it is.

Yeah, I'd go with paid family leave.

Paid family leave.

There it is.

Okay.

Hey.

Yeah.

Listen.

Come here.

You're inside, right?

On what?

Leo?

You were nervous when he took the stand before the break.

So was the President.

Then they called the recess.

I don't know what was going on

that's okay, that's the way somebody wants it.

But you're inside, right?

Yeah.

Good.

If it's something Communications is going to have to work with...

The lawyers are talking about it.

When I have to know I will.

Yeah.

Okay.

Paid family leave.

Charlie. Good morning.

How was your weekend?

It was good, sir. What'd you do?

I was here most of the time with you, sir.

Time well spent. Yeah.

Weren't you going to a flea market?

Yeah, I picked something up for you.

You didn't have to do that.

Yeah?

It's a map of the Holy Land that was drawn in 1709.

It's titled "Canaan, Palestine, or the Holy Land."

Nice sucking up.

Thank you, sir.

Look at these topographical details.

Seriously, I'm going to have this framed, this is great.

If you leave it here, I'll send it out.

No, I'm going to play with it some more.

LEO: Good morning.

Look at this map.

1709.

The Dead Sea, Jordan River, Mount Sinai.

That's beautiful.

You want to come inside?

Yeah.

Thanks again, Charlie.

How'd it go?

Last night?

Yeah.

It was nothing.

What did they offer?

Nothing.

They didn't offer nothing.

It was a non-starter, don't worry about it.

Censure?

Yeah.

Anyway, I'm going to go

to a budget meeting where the OMB and treasury

are going to recommend we drop the child poverty fund

from the State of the Union.

Well, I get it

but see what you can do about it, okay?

Yeah, anything else?

No, I've got a security briefing downstairs.

Thank you, Mr. President.

JORDAN: Hi.

Remember me?

Margaret!

I was the one with you

last night when you went to the meeting. Yes.

When you left the meeting I was not with you. Yes?

Is it just an open house in here?

The whole system's gotten out of hand.

Yeah.

You left without me.

Well, if you're going to make

a strong exit, you really can't wait

for someone to get their purse together.

How long does it take to get a purse together?

A question I've been asking my entire adult life.

It's a nonbinding resolution.

Do you know what that means?

No, could you tell me, 'cause I've really started

to take an interest in government lately.

Do you know how much force and effect it has? Jordan...

None. No force and effect.

The following is a sampling of nonbinding joint resolutions

from the 106th Congress.

I have a meeting.

A resolution in support of Ohio's state motto.

A resolution fostering friendship and cooperation

with the people of Mongolia.

I have a meeting.

A resolution recognizing

the contributions of Bristol, Tennessee, to the development

of country music.

I'm sorry, I have a budget meeting.

A resolution in support of Little League baseball.

Jordan... A resolution recogniz...

This isn't that!

This is 535 Congressmen and Senators standing up

and saying the President lied

and should be ashamed of himself.

And this is us standing up and saying

you're right.

This would be the first time in history

a President has been censured.

Congress isn't talk radio.

It's the seat of democracy, their opinion matters

and their condemnation doesn't have to come with handcuffs

to be devastating to this President.

That is the force and effect

and it's not going to happen because of me.

I have a budget meeting, Jordan.

Hey.

Hey.

Listen.

Yeah.

How's it going with the thing?

My chapters? Yeah.

I'm done.

And?

I'm fine with it.

What do you mean?

I'm fine with it.

You're saying it's all true?

No. Hardly any of it's true.

Then it's not true.

Well, my name is Toby Ziegler

and I'm the Communications Director

though there's a typo in "communications"

at one point.

Perhaps...

perhaps...

perhaps I mumble from time to time

but prickly?

I do not think so.

Nonetheless, I'm fine with it.

Toby, no kidding, I need a fact/fiction paper.

I'd really rather not have one over my signature.

There's a ticking clock.

It has to get discredited before it's real.

I remember this guy

as a not very talented

not very pleasant malcontent

who wasn't here very long.

Am I remembering the right guy?

Yeah.

Yeah, well, I don't want him to know

I remember him at all.

That's nice.

Now if we can only get 200 million other people

to think that way.

Yeah, I... Conventional wisdom in Washington

is like concrete-- it hardens.

There's nothing you can do about it.

So, let's... Is there anything in particular?

In your chapters?

Yeah.

It says you and I were sent out of the Oval Office

to write an introduction for a Teacher of the Year ceremony

while others stayed for a serious discussion

on Latin America.

We weren't sent out of the room.

We left voluntarily to work on a major education address

instead of waiting another ten minutes

while White House operators

kept trying to connect the President

with the President of Ecuador

who was only calling to complain one more time

about how we resolved the banana crisis.

We weren't sent out of the room.

Will you put that down in a memo?

Yeah.

( sighs )

He's going to be ready for you in just a minute.

Okay.

On Carol's birthday, did you happen to attend

a seance where they tried to contact

Margaret's grandmother?

No, right?

( phone rings )

Yes, sir?

You can go on in.

Thanks.

( door opens )

Hey.

Good afternoon, Mr. President.

There seems to be a growing consensus

that no one's going to believe

I'm serious about paying down a trillion dollars of the debt

when I'm willing to spend $200 billion

on the child poverty fund.

I agree with the growing consensus.

I'm not saying we're not going to do it.

We're just going to find a different way of saying

we're going to do it.

We're on it. Anything else?

ALL: Thank you, Mr. President.

Thank you.

( soft groan )

What's going on?

Well, I guess you should know

we have galleys of a book that's coming out

in a few weeks.

A kiss-and-tell by a photographer

who worked for me for about a half hour.

Fiction or nonfiction?

Science fiction really.

What else?

Everything else is the State of the Union.

All right. Hey, you want to see something?

Charlie gave this to me.

It's a map of the Holy Land, drawn in 1709.

He got at a flea market.

It's hand-colored, copper engraved.

I was going to put it in the outer office.

This outer office?

Yeah. No.

Why?

Why? Yeah.

'Cause some people are going to find it offensive.

Why?

It doesn't recognize Israel.

It was drawn in 1709.

Yeah.

There was no Israel. Right.

Israel wouldn't happen

for another 250 years. Yeah.

So, what's the problem with the map?

Some people are going to find it offensive.

Why? It doesn't recognize Israel.

Take lunch, would you?

Hey, your favorite movie

was on TV last night.

"By God, I'm 50, alive, and the King

all at the same time."

I turned it on just as they got to the scene

when Richard, Jeffrey and John were locked in the dungeon

and Henry was coming down to execute them.

Richard tells his brothers not to cower

but to take it like men.

And Jeffrey says, "You fool!

"As if it matters

how a man falls down."

And Richard says...

BOTH: "When the fall is all that's left...

it matters a great deal."

It matters a great deal.

Are you trying to tell me something?

No, Mr. President, of course not.

Okay.

Thank you, sir.

( phone ringing )

Josh Lyman's office.

Hi, Amy, it's Donna Moss.

I'll take it. I'll take it.

That's for me.

Yeah, I'm not sure if he's in, Amy.

Let me check.

( whispering ): Press hold, and I will pick up

the phone in my office.

I'm sorry, how does a telephone work again?

( loud thud )

Hang on just a second, Amy.

Amy.

( breathlessly ): Hey, J.

How you doing?

Good. And you?

Good.

My office said you called.

Are you wrestling with someone right now?

You in the middle of a match or something?

I'm at the gym.

You spend a lot of time at the gym.

( machine beeps ) Compared to whom?

( chuckling ): Compared to me.

Ah!

Listen, uh, we need to talk about something.

What's that?

Josh?

Paid family leave.

Sorry, there was a dog in here for a second.

A dog?

A nice one. It was okay.

So, what about paid family leave?

Well, I-I'd like to talk about this in person.

Any chance we could get together?

Sure. Can you have a late dinner tonight?

Yes. As late as you like.

Great.

I have a date

but I should be able to meet you by 11:00.

Well, I don't want

to bust up your date or anything.

No.

We're going to the ballet.

I can meet you at 11:00.

How's the Ritz-Carlton?

Uh, 11:00.

See you then.

Anything?

Phone messages.

Thank you.

I'm moving the 4:00 with Treasury. Okay.

They upped the prediction to 18 inches by morning.

And Jordon Kendall's still in your office.

A resolution recognizing the important contributions

of Americans of Austrian descent.

Margaret?

I'm sorry.

Was our meeting over?

Yes?

Close the door.

JORDON: A resolution

remembering the life of George Washington

'cause there was a chance

we were going to forget who he was. Look...

"What's that tall thing at the end of the mall?"

"I don't know. A monument to somebody."

Where are we again? Jordon...

No. The opinion of Congress matters?

Yes. And they're rattling it off

every day on television.

It's not the opinion...

Your reputation is saved...

My reputation isn't...

He put... he put you on the hot seat.

This is not your thing. It is my thing

and I'm sorry, but I can't allow you to talk like that in here.

I wasn't seeking your permission.

You need to get... You need to get

that I am the White House Chief of Staff.

And how much longer do you think

you're going to be able to keep that job

if you tell the story

they're going to make you tell?!

Play the tape through to the end, Leo.

It's not my decision.

I think it is.

In fact, I know it.

And you know it, too.

I have a meeting.

( door opens, closes )

What are you still doing here?

C.J.'s here.

The book?

Yeah.

You know if it started

snowing yet?

It hasn't.

How is it supposed to be 18 inches

by the morning if it hasn't started yet?

Accumulates by a magnitude, does a thing, I don't know.

Okay.

Josh?

Yeah?

You wanted me to tell you when it's 10:45.

See ya.

I'll get home fine.

What's the problem?

It's not fit for man nor beast out there.

Has it started snowing yet?

It accumulates by a magnitude.

( phone rings )

See you.

You want this?

No.

Josh Lyman's office.

CLIFF: Donna?

Yeah.

It's Cliff.

Yeah.

I need to meet with you for a minute

and I need for nobody else to know it's happening.

Can you meet me right now?

Why?

Look, it's not social.

No way.

I can't.

There's nothing wrong with it.

It's not against the law.

How do I know?

I'm a lawyer.

You're not my lawyer.

Look, I'm going to be

at the Georgetown Law Library in 20 minutes.

I'll be in the Federal Case Law section.

Cliff, I'm a senior assistant.

This is way over my head, and it doesn't feel right.

I can't go Deep Throating in the middle...

Cliff?

Are you there?

( sighs )

Sir?

PRESIDENT: Yeah? C.J.

Thanks.

Good evening, Mr. President.

Hey, C.J.

You're working late.

You, too. What's up?

Well, this might sound ridiculous.

Let's lay odds. You know we're trying to vet this book.

I've heard about the book.

So...

Yes?

"It is well known in the Bartlet White House

"that after having two daughters

"Jed Bartlet wanted a son and sought advice

"from the book How to Choose the Sex of Your Baby

"by Dr. Landrum B. Shettles.

"The book recommends that the father-to-be avoid

"'jockey shorts, jock straps

and other tight- fitting clothes.'"

Yeah?

So, I can put you down for a "no?"

When you're going to be a father,

you're rooting for ten fingers and ten toes, and that's it.

Thank you, Mr. President.

Wait.

I want to show you this great map Charlie found.

Sir, I know about it. You can't put it up in the West Wing.

C.J.?!

It doesn't recognize Israel.

There was no Israel in 1709.

That's right.

So, it's not on the map.

Which is what some people are going to find offensive.

That's ridiculous.

You know what would be great?

If I put it someplace else? Yes.

Leo has-- in what used to be his house

when he was married-- a map of the United States.

The first third of it is the 13 original colonies.

The second third of it is the French territory of Louisiana.

And the third third is Mexico.

In this map of the United States, there is not a single state.

That's because when this map was made

there was no United States.

I am the President of the United States

and I'm not offended by it.

Well, you're bigger than ten men, sir.

What do you say we put it out of the way?

I'm having it enlarged and bolting it

to the hood of my limo.

They don't want us to put up our map, Charlie.

They're philistines in the fight for freedom

but that doesn't bother us, does it?

Huh?

Never mind.

It's not like I'm agreeing with the people

who are going to be offended.

It's just that you're asking

for a whole lot of pain, in exchange for which

you get nothing but an old map.

That's the key. An old map.

An old map. Spin that.

See, now you got me out there spinning things.

Anything else?

You didn't have special underwear, right?

Thank you.

Thank you, Mr. President.

CLIFF: Donna?

What's going on?

Thanks for coming.

What's going on?

I need you to set up a meeting for me and Josh.

A phone conversation will be fine

but I need it to happen right away.

Is this why your office has been calling all day?

We wouldn't be here right now if you'd returned the call.

I return the calls Josh tells me to.

I need the conversation.

Why?

I can't say why.

I can't. I can't tell Josh I spoke to you.

There's no jeopardy here. I'd be going behind the backs

of the Counsel's Office, Legislative Affairs...

I'm trying to help Leo McGarry.

Since when are you in the business

of helping Leo McGarry?

You're the one who had the recess called.

Before the Christmas break.

You're the reason they adjourned.

I'm not.

You had the recess called.

It was the Chairman.

You got him to do it.

Something was about to happen, and a recess was called

and Josh was relieved.

What was about to happen?

I can't tell you that.

It was you.

I need to talk to Josh.

I'm leaving now.

Wait by your phone.

( piano music playing )

Hey, Kim. How are you?

Hello.

Hi.

How was the ballet?

It was wonderful.

Which one was it?

Do you know ballet? I know The Nutcracker

although I've never been.

There are others.

But I should start with The Nutcracker, right?

You don't like the ballet.

No. And you've reached that conclusion

without ever having been to one.

Well, I've never been to Bosnia either, Amy, and I don't think

I'm going to go.

You don't mind sending Marines

though, do you? Not a bit.

Hey, can I get you something?

Uh, Absolut martini on the rocks.

Two olives, please.

What do you want, J.?

I'm sorry?

What did you want to talk to me about?

Paid family leave.

What about it?

It's not going to happen.

I know.

At least not this year.

I know.

I mean, we can't even go for it.

We asked you not to go for it. We can't.

Josh, our lobbyists sat with Legislative Affairs

and everybody decided it would cost too much in political capital.

Who was the date?

Excuse me?

At the ballet?

A guy I've been seeing.

And he likes the ballet?

He likes me.

I think he likes the ballet.

What the hell is that supposed to mean?

Thank you.

Thank you for the extra olive.

Sure.

"Sure."

That's your type, isn't it?

Won't catch her at the ballet.

Or in a library either.

She seemed smart to me.

What do you want?

How can you be blasé about this?

About what?

The United States is one of only six other countries

out of 152 that has

no national policy regarding paid maternal leave.

Neither does Papua New Guinea, so we're fine.

Really? What are you talking to me for?

Get it for us. Can't do it.

I know. But money has been

put aside for a study.

And that's great. The thing is...

and here's the bad news.

Yeah?

You guys wanted $21 million?

Yeah?

It's going to be $20 million 500,000.

You want to take my head off, go ahead.

What the hell's going on?

Things are tight all over.

Is it possible that you are so addled

that you've constructed some nonsense problem

so that you'd have an excuse to see me?

I mean, i-is it possible?

I suppose you can say...

I don't believe you.

Hey, you threw a water balloon at me.

And? I don't know, I was just throwing that out there.

Look... Like there's not a reason

you're here right now? I'm here

because I thought there was a problem. All I know is

you're here, I'm here and Nijinsky's home watching Leno.

Oh, by all means, make fun of my boyfriend

seeing as how you've never met him.

Your boyfriend?

Why can't you pick up a phone

and say, "Would you like to go out sometime?" Why?

Look... I'll tell you why.

Do you need me

in this conversation or are you okay by yourself?

Because this is what you like, this.

Not anything else. This is the fun part.

That's not true.

Yes, it is. We're not in the dorm anymore.

I get paid a lot of money to do an important job

and I'm not into getting diddled around

by guys like you.

Okay, that's like the fifth time you've said

"guys like you." It is not.

It's the second time.

Fine.

What's with guys like me?

If this thing went five minutes longer than you wanted it to go

you'd run for the hills.

You're "Hit-and-Run Josh."

That's not true.

( phone ringing )

Excuse me.

Hello.

Donna, I'm kind of in the middle of something.

What were you doing talking to...?

Okay, tell him yeah.

I have to go.

Yes, indeed.

I'm sorry.

I-I can't explain.

( clears throat )

I have to go.

CHARLIE: Mr. President?

Can you see Sam?

Sure.

Good evening, sir.

Everybody's working late.

I live here in January.

How's it going?

It's going well, I think.

But I don't know. Who knows at this point?

The early drafts look good.

Thank you, but, actually, I didn't

come in to talk about the State of the Union.

There's going to be a book coming out

in about three weeks.

I heard.

Look, I'm really not going to talk to you about my underwear.

That's... disappointing, Mr. President.

But I wanted to ask you... the guy claims

that while you don't poll on matters of foreign policy

that at the first formal meeting of the Joint Chiefs

you upbraided them

for bloated Pentagon spending

and told them 73% of the public was with you on it.

I don't remember any such poll being done, do you?

No, but I guess that doesn't mean it wasn't.

Do you remember saying that

at the first meeting with the Joint Chiefs? I don't.

Could you have said anything like it?

I don't even remember the meeting.

Okay.

Thank you, sir.

Why does it matter?

Excuse me?

I said, "Why does it matter?"

Well, 'cause I don't think it's such a good idea

to be casual about the truth.

Neither do I.

Thank you, sir.

( door closes )

( liquid pouring )

Leo?

Yeah.

What are you doing down here?

Change of scenery.

What are you doing?

Well, I'd like to talk to you

about the deal they're offering.

Please, keep your voice down.

There's nobody here, and my voice is down.

Who have you been talking to?

Cliff Calley.

How did you get hooked up with Calley?

Doesn't matter.

It does matter.

I'm not pushing you, okay?

I just want to hear your reasons.

What are your reasons?

Gets it over and done

instead of dragging it through the primary season.

Moreover, you don't take the stand on Monday.

It's ridiculous to think that this would end it.

All it means is that we go down in history.

It's a press release.

When the British Ambassador

told the German Foreign Minister

that they were going to war

over Belgium's violation of the neutrality treaty

the German Foreign Minister said

"You're going to war over a piece of paper?"

Leo...

It is an historical judgment.

Andrew Jackson knew that.

Jackson was censured?

Over the Bank of the U.S.

Guess what.

I didn't know that.

What's your point?

History forgets these things.

Presidents don't.

They never get over it.

This one won't.

He'd act like it's fine, but...

he'd never get over it.

So...

that's my reason.

All right.

You're going home?

Yeah. Sure.

Have a good night.

You, too.

TOBY: McDeere shot 1 for 23 from the field last night.

Missed his first 18 attempts.

Wouldn't you think after the first 17 misses

the coach would say, "Mickey, this isn't your night"?

You don't have work to do?

I have a lot of work to do.

And?

Can't rush these things.

No.

1 for 23.

That's exactly one better than my mother would have done.

She's been dead 12 years.

( knocking )

Excuse me.

Hi.

I asked the President about that first meeting.

Which meeting?

With the Joint Chiefs.

What'd he say?

He didn't remember

whether or not we did a poll.

Yeah, I don't either.

Toby... How long ago was it?

It was... I don't know.

It was, like... I don't know.

It was two years ago. How many polls ago?

We can't sit on... I'm sorry.

We can't sit

on the sidelines and ignore this crap.

I'm not going to.

Why am I the only one taking

this seriously? That's a reasonable question

and we should explore that for a minute.

It's not the reason you think. You hired the guy.

Yes, I hired the guy, but that's not...

Legitimate news organizations

are going to cover this

to say nothing of the people who hate us

who are going to run it over, over, over, over, over...

This guy was here for three minutes

and he was fired.

He is not credible.

I'm a lawyer, I'm telling you.

That has to be made clear.

Every time he makes a factual mistake

we got to come out with a press release.

Every time he misquotes or misidentifies anyone

we need to have an affidavit swearing to the truth

if there's a comma in the wrong place.

He needs to be killed until he is dead

and he needs to be killed again

or he is going to keep biting at our ankles

and I mean all through the campaign.

He needs to be a joke, or we're going to be.

( snapping fingers rhythmically )

* Boy, boy, crazy boy

* Keep cool, boy...

I'm not screwing around.

Me neither. Sit down.

I'm not going to be a victim of this.

Let me tell you something

I've learned in my years.

There are victims of fires.

There are victims of car accidents.

This kind of thing, there are no victims--

just volunteers.

Of course we'll get in the game.

I'll talk to the editors of the major papers

but we're not going to publicly refute

every bogus charge.

First of all, there are too many of them.

Second of all, I'm not going to give this guy and his book

the weight of the White House.

As far as the press is concerned

I've read the book because I had to.

You have a vague recollection of the guy

but he wasn't here long enough to make a lasting impression.

Have you read the book? Of course not.

You're too busy doing a job.

While you're convincing the Post and the Times

that it's ridiculous... Sam!

Once again, we don't know what's going on in the Oval Office.

Obviously, there's a problem.

When it's our turn to worry about it

they won't be shy about telling us.

Let's not fixate on the knuckleheaded stuff

we think we can fix in the meantime.

And it feels a lot like... that's what you're doing.

Are you inside?

Josh is.

But let me ask you this.

A guy shoots 1 for 23 from the field.

McDeere?

Yeah.

But he goes 8 for 8

My question is, why are you fouling this guy at all?

I'd just get out of the way and point him toward the basket.

Yeah.

So we're done

talking about this now.

Is there any beer?

You two have offices.

It's out in the refrigerator.

Hey.

C.J.: What?

It started snowing.

You owe me a half a million dollars

and a drink.

I paid for the drinks.

All right, then 500 grand.

What are you doing here?

I'm just hanging out.

Why? Do you live here?

I do.

I'm sorry I had to leave quickly before.

I still can't tell you why.

Was it a matter of national security?

No.

Would you tell me

if it was a matter of national security?

No.

Okay.

You didn't talk to me much at school.

You were having quite a bit of sex with Chris.

There were times I wasn't.

I studied a lot in school.

I studied hard in high school and at Harvard

and in law school.

My IQ doesn't break the bank, and I wanted to do this

so I studied all the time.

And I missed something

or it's like I skipped a year

'cause I never learned what you do

after you think you like somebody--

what you do next.

And ev-everybody did learn.

A lot of other people, anyway.

I didn't walk out tonight.

When my phone rings at 11:00, it's important.

Not important to me. Important.

And I'm not puffing myself so-so that you're...

You know what?

Maybe not so much for you with the talking.

Thanks for the drink.

Excuse me.

Good evening, Mr. President.

You want to step in for a second?

Are you up reading?

Yeah. No. A little bit.

Mostly, I've been talking with Babish and some of the deputies.

The Chairman, Trent

the Speaker, the Minority Leader.

No.

Yeah, I'm going to do it.

Sir...

Yeah.

It doesn't get Abbey off the hook.

She's still going to have to deal with the AMA.

Yeah.

It doesn't clear us up for the campaign.

It's just a different looking stage weight around our ankle

and now it comes with the Congressional Seal.

It doesn't give us any room to argue the point.

We've got two, maybe as many as three dozen

House Democrats in tight races, and you've still got MS.

Doing this to save me the embarrassment

I've got coming to me

is about the dumbest reason I can think...

There's another reason.

What?

I was wrong.

I was. I was just... I was wrong.

Come on, we know that.

Lots of times we don't know what right or wrong is,

but lots of times we do,

and, come on, this is one.

I may not have had sinister intent at the outset,

but there were plenty of opportunities

for me to make it right.

No one in government takes responsibility

for anything anymore.

We foster, we obfuscate, we rationalize.

"Everybody does it." That's what we say.

So we come to occupy a moral safe house

where everyone's to blame so no one's guilty.

( sighs )

I'm to blame.

I was wrong.

You're ready for a Joint Resolution.

As a matter of fact, it's not a Joint Resolution.

The President still has to sign a Joint Resolution,

so, technically, it's a Concurrent Resolution.

House Concurrent Resolution 172.

The lawyers will haggle over the wording in the next few days.

So, at least I'll make history, huh?

No.

I thought so, too, until I was talking to Josh.

Andrew Jackson, 1834.

He was censured in '34.

He got it expunged in '36.

Good point.

It's not that cold out.

No.

Let me ask you something.

You may be the last sane voice around here.

Hang on, before I forget.

That map that Charlie gave you.

Make sure you don't put it

where people can see it.

I don't believe this.

Recognizing Israel's

a pretty hot button, wouldn't you say?

In Lebanon.

Not here.

It's not like I'm thinking

"God, I was going to recognize Israel

but now that I've seen this map..." You know what?

Let's just sit here quietly.

Yes, sir.

SPEAKER OF THE HOUSE: Would the Secretary read

SECRETARY: "Whereas, in his conduct

"of the Office of the President of the United States

"Josiah Bartlet has engaged

"in a course of deceitful and dishonest conduct

"designed to impede and deny the disclosure

"of vital matters of public concern,

"the United States Congress hereby condemns him

"for acting in a manner

"contrary to his trust as President

"to the great prejudice of the cause of justice

and to the manifest injury of the American people."