Original subtitles

PREVIOUSLY ON THE WEST WING:

C.J. YES, SIR.

I'VE GOT MY OWN PRESS SECRETARY.

WHEN SHE TELLS YOU SOMETHING

CONSIDER IT A DIRECTIVE FROM THIS OFFICE.

I'M NOT 100% SURE WHERE THIS OFFICE

GETS THE AUTHORITY TO DIRECT ME TO THE MEN'S ROOM.

BRING SAM SEABORN.

SAM'S GOT ENOUGH GOING ON WITHOUT YOU MAKING A BOOTY CALL.

I'M NOT MAKING A BOOTY CALL.

WHEN YOU FLIRT WITH ME

ARE YOU DOING IT TO GET A STORY?

NO. WHY ARE YOU DOING IT?

I'M DOING IT TO FLIRT WITH YOU.

JENNY'S ASKING ME FOR A DIVORCE.

YOU'RE KIDDING ME.

NO.

President: YELLOWSTONE, ESTABLISHED THROUGH AN ACT

SIGNED BY ULYSSES S. GRANT

WAS THE NATION'S FIRST NATIONAL PARK.

MARCH 1, 1872.

IT'S GETTING LATE, SIR. I WAS WONDERING

ARE WE THROUGH FOR THE EVENING?

WELL, WE'RE THROUGH WITH WORK, JOSH

BUT THIS PART'S FUN.

WHICH PART, SIR?

THE PART WHERE I GET YOU TO SIT DOWN

AND TEACH YOU A LITTLE SOMETHING.

AH, YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT TIRED, SIR?

NO.

PERHAPS IF YOU GOT INTO BED AND...

I'M A NATIONAL PARK BUFF, JOSH.

I'M SORRY, SIR?

I SAY, I'M A NATIONAL PARK BUFF.

I'LL BET YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT ME.

WELL, I DIDN'T KNOW THAT ABOUT YOU, SIR

BUT I'M CERTAINLY NOT SURPRISED.

WHY IS THAT?

YOU'RE QUITE A NERD, MR. PRESIDENT.

REALLY?

YES, SIR.

I ASSUME THAT WAS SAID WITH ALL DUE RESPECT.

YES, SIR.

IS IT NERD-LIKE

TO KNOW THAT EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK IS THE LARGEST

REMAINING SUBTROPICAL WILDERNESS IN THE CONTINENTAL UNITED STATES

AND HAS EXTENSIVE MANGROVE FORESTS?

JUST A LITTLE BIT, YES, SIR.

54 NATIONAL PARKS IN THIS COUNTRY, JOSH.

PLEASE TELL ME YOU HAVEN'T BEEN TO ALL OF THEM.

I HAVE BEEN TO ALL OF THEM.

I SHOULD SHOW YOU MY SLIDES.

OH, WOULD YOU?

GRAND CANYON

BRYCE CANYON, BADLANDS, CAPITOL REEF, ACADIA

WHICH IS SO OFTEN OVERLOOKED.

YOU SHOULD CERTAINLY FEEL FREE TO KEEP TALKING

BUT I NEED TO GO HOME

SO THAT I CAN BE BACK IN MY OFFICE

IN FOUR HOURS.

DRY TORTUGAS.

SEE, THE THING IS, I CAN'T LEAVE UNTIL YOU GIVE ME PERMISSION.

PETRIFIED FOREST, NORTH CASCADES, JOSHUA TREE

SHENANDOAH NATIONAL PARK

RIGHT HERE IN VIRGINIA.

WE SHOULD ORGANIZE A STAFF FIELD TRIP TO SHENANDOAH.

I COULD EVEN ACT AS THE GUIDE.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

GOOD A PLACE AS ANY TO DUMP YOUR BODY.

WHAT WAS THAT?

DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD?

SEE, AND I WAS GOING TO LET YOU GO HOME.

BUT INSTEAD?

WE'RE GOING TO TALK ABOUT YOSEMITE.

THANK YOU, MR. McGARRY.

THANKS, TONY. HANG ON.

LET ME PAY FOR IT. NO.

I SAID I WAS TAKING YOU OUT TO BREAKFAST.

YEAH, BUT THIS IS MY HOTEL, MALLORY.

DAD...

HOW MUCH DOES A CUP OF COFFEE COST HERE, TONY?

$6.50.

YOU WANT TO PAY THE CHECK?

NO.

THANK YOU.

$6.50?

YES.

YOU HAVEN'T TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR MOM.

DAD...

Man: LEO. CONGRESSMAN SKINNER.

CONGRATULATIONS. THANK YOU.

MY DAUGHTER, MALLORY.

OH, OF COURSE. HI.

GOOD TO SEE YOU, CONGRESSMAN.

CONGRATS AGAIN, LEO.

TO ALL OF US.

RIGHT.

THE BANKING BILL?

YEAH.

IT'S GOING TO PASS?

YEAH. CONGRATULATIONS.

THANK YOU. YOU HAVEN'T

TOLD ME ABOUT YOUR MOTHER.

WHAT DO YOU WANT TO KNOW?

IS SHE...?

I DON'T KNOW.

TELL ME ANYTHING.

YOU COULD CALL HER AND ASK HER HOW SHE'S DOING, YOU KNOW...

YEAH, OR I COULD JUST ASK YOU.

YOU COULD, THOUGH CLEARLY ASKING ME WON'T DO ANY GOOD.

I'M BEGINNING TO GET THAT IMPRESSION.

WHAT'S THAT?

OPERA TICKETS. IT'S OUR SUBSCRIPTION NIGHT.

MOM DOESN'T WANT THEM?

NO.

DID YOU ASK HER?

YES.

WHILE YOU WERE ASKING HER

IF SHE WANTED OPERA TICKETS

YOU COULDN'T JUST ASK HER HOW SHE'S DOING?

I HAD AN OPPORTUNITY TO GIVE YOU UP

FOR ADOPTION, YOU KNOW?

TOO LATE.

WHY CAN'T YOU SAY "CONGRATULATIONS"?

ON THE BANKING BILL?

YES.

I JUST DID. PLEASE...

YOU WERE-- I DON'T KNOW--

YOU WERE SMIRKING

DAD. ROLLING YOUR EYES.

I WAS DOING NEITHER.

YOU WERE DOING IT

WITH YOUR VOICE.

FATHER, YOU'VE GONE ROUND THE BEND.

YOU WANT THE TICKETS?

YES.

YOU WANT TO WALK ME

BACK TO WORK?

SURE.

C.J. TILL 2:00 IN THE MORNING?

YES. THEY WERE TALKING ABOUT NATIONAL PARKS

TILL 2:00 IN THE MORNING?

I'D IMAGINE THE PRESIDENT

WAS DOING THE LION'S SHARE OF THE TALKING.

WE BEAT THE BANKING LOBBY!

IT'S GOING TO PASS?

WE BEAT THEM.

YOU'RE CONFIDENT?

YES. IT'S IN THE BAG.

WERE YOU AND JOSH TALKING

TILL 2:00 A.M. ABOUT NATIONAL PARKS?

OOH, C.J., EVERGLADES NATIONAL PARK...

IS ONE OF THE GREAT... MR. PRESIDENT.

I GOT TO TAKE THIS CALL

SO I CAN GLOAT ABOUT THE BANKING BILL.

ENJOY YOURSELF, SIR.

BE TALKING ABOUT THIS TODAY.

THIS IS THE STORY. CRUNCHED THEM!

YES, SIR.

OH, INCIDENTALLY...

THE CALIFORNIA LIVE OAK... MR. PRESIDENT.

RIGHT.

HAVE A GOOD DAY, SIR.

TWELFTH ROUND KNOCKOUT, C.J.

YES, SIR.

GOOD MORNING.

GOOD MORNING.

HOW YOU DOING?

LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.

THE PRESIDENT'S GOING TO BE

A COUPLE OF MINUTES LATE

AND HE WANTED ME TO GET THINGS STARTED.

I SHOULD BEGIN BY WELCOMING ALL OF YOU

TO OUR THIRD CABINET MEETING

OUR FIRST IN SIX MONTHS

AND I KNOW THE PRESIDENT WOULD WANT ME TO POINT OUT

THAT THESE MEETINGS ARE FOR US A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY

TO COME TOGETHER AND EXCHANGE IDEAS

AND DISCUSS OUR GOALS FOR THE FUTURE.

SURELY OUR FIRST GOAL HAS TO BE FINDING A WAY

TO WORK WITH CONGRESS

AND WE NEED TO REACH OUT TO THE HOUSE AND TO THE...

MR. PRESIDENT.

THIS IS THE SADDEST-LOOKING CABINET I HAVE EV...

LOOK AT THIS.

I HAVE AN AGRICULTURE SECRETARY HERE

WHO HAS NEVER EATEN A VEGETABLE IN HIS LIFE.

EVERYBODY SIT DOWN.

YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.

GOOD MORNING, LEO. GOOD MORNING, SIR.

HELLO. HELLO.

ARE YOU TAKING MINUTES? YES, SIR.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME? MILDRED, SIR.

I'M JOSIAH BARTLET. I'M THE PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES.

WHAT DID I MISS? THE VICE PRESIDENT.

"LET'S TAKE OUR SEATS.

"THE PRESIDENT'S GOING TO BE

A FEW MINUTES LATE..."

UH, WOULD YOU SKIP DOWN, PLEASE?

YES, SIR. "I KNOW THAT THE PRESIDENT WOULD WANT ME TO POINT OUT

THAT THESE MEETINGS ARE A UNIQUE OPPORTUNITY FOR US..."

ACTUALLY, I FIND THESE MEETINGS

TO BE A FAIRLY MIND-NUMBING EXPERIENCE

BUT LEO ASSURES ME THAT THEY ARE CONSTITUTIONALLY REQUIRED

SO LET'S GET IT OVER WITH.

PROCEED, MILDRED.

"SURELY OUR FIRST GOAL

HAS TO BE FINDING A WAY TO WORK WITH CONGRESS."

WHO SAID THAT?

THE VICE... I DID, SIR.

OUR FIRST GOAL SHOULD BE FINDING A WAY TO WORK WITH CONGRESS?

YES, SIR.

YOU DON'T THINK OUR FIRST GOAL

SHOULD BE FINDING A WAY TO BEST SERVE THE AMERICAN PEOPLE?

I DIDN'T SAY THAT, MR. PRESIDENT.

REALLY?

LET'S HAVE A LOOK.

YES, THAT'S WHAT IT SAYS RIGHT HERE.

WOULD YOU LIKE MILDRED TO READ IT BACK AGAIN?

NO, THANK YOU, SIR.

OKAY.

ANYTHING ELSE, MILDRED?

NO, SIR.

GOOD.

NOW LET'S GET TO WORK.

IT'S GOOD.

YEAH.

IT'S GOOD.

YEAH.

IT'S A LITTLE FLAT.

YEAH, I THINK SO, TOO.

MY WRITING'S BEEN FLAT LATELY.

IT'S NOT YOU.

IT'S ME.

WELL, YOU DID THE BEST YOU COULD.

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU REACHED YOUR POTENTIAL HERE.

I DIDN'T. I CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.

I CAN DO BETTER THAN THIS.

ARE YOU SAYING THAT I CAN'T DO BETTER THAN THIS?

I'M SAYING YOU'RE FINE AND I'M FLAT.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WE'RE HAVING DIFFICULTY LOCATING OUR TALENT.

HEARING ANYTHING ABOUT THE BANKING BILL?

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I'M HEARING SOME STUFF.

NO, WE'RE FINE.

YOU SURE?

YEAH, I'M HAVING LUNCH WITH CRANE.

WHEN?

LUNCHTIME.

I SHOULDN'T BE NERVOUS?

NO.

OKAY.

ALL RIGHT...

IT COULDN'T HAVE GONE FAR, RIGHT?

NO.

SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING

IS OUR TALENT.

YES.

Danny: C.J.

DANNY.

HOW YOU DOING?

HOW IS IT THAT MY STAFF

JUST LET YOU WALK IN HERE?

THEY LIKE ME.

THEY'RE SUPPOSED TO LIKE ME.

GO FIGURE.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

I HEARD THE PRESIDENT ROUGHED UP HOYNES

IN FRONT OF THE CABINET.

FROM WHO?

"WHOM." SHUT UP.

OKAY. WHERE DID YOU HEAR IT?

GOT 50 CENTS? YEAH.

THEN YOU CAN READ ABOUT IT IN MY NEWSPAPER.

HEY, YOU WANT TO HAVE DINNER WITH ME TONIGHT?

NO. TELL ME MORE ABOUT THIS.

DID IT HAPPEN?

ON THE RECORD? YES.

ABSOLUTELY NOT.

OFF THE RECORD?

WHAT ELSE IS NEW?

THAT'S WHAT I THOUGHT.

AND YOU WON'T HAVE DINNER WITH ME?

NO. I'M A VERY GOOD-LOOKING GUY.

I MENTION IT BECAUSE IT'S NOT

SOMETHING PEOPLE NOTICE RIGHT AWAY.

YES. I LIKE SEAFOOD.

I LIKE ALL FOOD. DANNY...

I SHOULD ALSO MENTION I'M

A LIVELY CONVERSATIONALIST.

I'M VERY GOOD AT KAYAKING. I CAN KAYAK.

I CAN'T, DANNY.

I MEAN, I CAN'T HAVE DINNER.

OKAY.

Hoynes: SO LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING.

YESTERDAY MORNING, ABOUT 10:00, THESE TWO GUYS, AS A JOKE

POSTED SOME FALSE INFORMATION ON A WEBSITE

ABOUT THIS TINY STARTUP COMPANY

AND ITS STOCK STARTED SHOOTING UP.

BY 2:30 IN THE AFTERNOON, THE HOAX HAD BEEN UNCOVERED

AND THE STOCK HAD ADJUSTED ITSELF

BUT BY THE END OF THE DAY

THIS COMPANY, WHICH NEITHER YOU NOR I

NOR THE SECRETARY OF COMMERCE HAD EVER HEARD OF

CLOSED OUT AS THE 12th HIGHEST TRADED ISSUE

ON THE NASDAQ INDEX.

THIS JUST IN-- THE INTERNET IS NOT A FAD.

Woman: THANK YOU, SIR.

HEY, THANK YOU ALL.

MR. VICE PRESIDENT?

HOW YOU DOING, DANNY?

FINE, THANK YOU, SIR.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

THE CABINET MEETING.

WHAT ABOUT IT?

ANYTHING YOU WANT TO TALK ABOUT?

WELL, YOU KNOW, NOW THAT YOU MENTION IT

I'VE BEEN HAVING THIS RECURRING DREAM

ABOUT KILLING YOU.

SIR? WHAT DO YOU THINK THAT MEANS?

I HEARD SOME THINGS ABOUT THE MEETING.

HEY, NOTHING HAPPENED.

SIR? NOTHING THERE.

I HEARD DIFFERENT. WELL, YOU HEARD WRONG.

OKAY. LET'S GO.

C.J.: SAM.

YEAH.

HAVE YOU HEARD ANYTHING

ABOUT THE CABINET MEETING?

LIKE WHAT? LIKE THE PRESIDENT

TOOK HOYNES OUT FOR A RIDE?

IS SOMEONE TALKING? YEAH.

WHO? I DON'T KNOW.

HEY.

HEY, MALLORY.

LET ME KNOW IF YOU HEAR ANYTHING.

YEAH.

HI. HOW YOU DOING?

PRETTY GOOD.

I JUST HAD BREAKFAST WITH MY FATHER

AND I WALKED WITH HIM BACK.

MM-HMM. CAN I TALK TO YOU FOR A SECOND?

SURE.

SO WHAT'S UP?

SO...

YES.

HERE'S THE THING:

YES.

DO YOU, BY ANY CHANCE, LIKE OPERA?

THE OPERA?

YES.

YOU MEAN TO GO AND WATCH AND LISTEN TO?

YES, SAM.

WHY DO YOU ASK?

BECAUSE, AS IT HAPPENS, I HAVE TWO TICKETS

TO THE BEIJING OPERA THIS EVENING AT THE KENNEDY CENTER.

MY FATHER'S SEATS.

BEIJING OPERA?

YES.

YOU'RE ASKING ME OUT ON A DATE.

NO.

NO? NO, I'M ASKING YOU

IF YOU'D LIKE TO GO TOGETHER WITH ME

TO SEE AN INTERNATIONALLY RENOWNED OPERA COMPANY

PERFORM A WORK INDIGENOUS TO ITS CULTURE.

RIGHT, AND IN WHAT WAY

WILL IT DISTINGUISH ITSELF FROM A DATE?

THERE WILL BE, UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES

SEX FOR YOU AT THE END OF THE EVENING.

OKAY.

SO, WHAT DO YOU SAY?

WELL, UH...

LIKE MOST PEOPLE, I'M AN ABSOLUTE NUT FOR CHINESE OPERA.

THE CHINESE BEING KNOWN THE WORLD OVER

FOR THEIR SOARING AND ROMANTIC MELODIES.

AND WHAT WITH YOUR GUARANTEE THAT THERE WON'T BE SEX

I DON'T SEE HOW I COULD SAY NO.

GOOD, THEN. I'LL COME BY AND GET YOU AT ABOUT 7:30.

YEAH.

AND YOU KNOW WHAT'S GOOD ABOUT THIS?

IF YOU HADN'T COME ALONG

WITH YOUR OFFER OF CHINESE OPERA AND NO SEX

ALL I'D BE DOING LATER IS WATCHING MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL

SO THIS WORKS OUT GREAT FOR ME.

7:30.

YES, INDEED.

LEO'LL BE IN IN A MINUTE.

THANK YOU. THANKS.

( smacking softly )

WHAT'S YOUR THING ABOUT?

NOTHING.

WHAT'S YOUR THING ABOUT?

NOTHING.

OKAY.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

OH, WE'RE NOT HERE TOGETHER.

SOMEBODY GO FIRST.

DANNY CONCANON SAID THAT HE HEARD

THAT THE PRESIDENT AND HOYNES HAD A...

AT THE CABINET MEETING?

YEAH. IT'S NOTHING, C.J.

WHY IS DANNY ASKING ME ABOUT IT?

WHO TALKED TO HIM?

YOU THINK HE'LL TELL ME? HOYNES.

THAT'S WHAT WE NEED.

WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO?

DEAL WITH IT.

YOU'RE A REAL DETAILS MAN, AREN'T YOU, LEO?

DEAL WITH IT.

( clicks pen )

WHAT DO YOU WANT?

I CAN COME BACK.

NO, COME ON.

WHAT?

MALLORY HAD AN EXTRA TICKET TO THE OPERA FOR TONIGHT

AND SHE ASKED ME IF I'D LIKE TO GO.

MALLORY WHO?

MALLORY, YOUR DAUGHTER.

"MALLORY, MY DAUGHTER"...

YES.

HAS ASKED YOU... YES.

TO GO TO THE OPERA, USING THE TICKETS

THAT USED TO BELONG TO ME AND MALLORY'S MOTHER...

YES. THE WOMAN WHO USED TO BE MY WIFE?

SHE'S MADE IT VERY CLEAR

WE WON'T BE DOING ANYTHING TONIGHT

YOU'D HAVE A PROBLEM WITH.

LIKE WHAT? WHY DON'T WE STAY AWAY FROM THAT?

BEST THAT WE DO.

SO... I'M FINE, SAM.

YOU'RE FINE? YOU'RE SURE? YEP.

JENNY AND I AREN'T USING THEM-- SOMEBODY SHOULD.

THANK YOU, LEO.

GO BACK TO WORK, SAM.

YEAH.

I'M FINE.

Hoynes: WITH NITROGEN AND HYDROGEN, LADIES AND GENTLEMEN--

NITROGEN AND HYDROGEN.

NOW, DICK BRENNER SAYS WE SEND A SATURN V ROCKET

WITH A LIQUID- HYDROGEN PAYLOAD

AND WE CAN PUT A MAN ON MARS FOR $25 BILLION?

THAT'S A STEAL AT TWICE THE PRICE.

WHERE ARE YOU GOING TO GET THE NITROGEN

TO GET HIM BACK?

WELL, MARS IS MADE OUT OF NITROGEN

SO THE FIRST THING WE'LL DO IS

BUILD OURSELVES A GAS STATION.

( chuckling )

SIR? YEAH, WE'RE DONE HERE.

MAYBE WE SHOULD ALL GO TAKE AN EARTH-SCIENCE COURSE AGAIN.

THANK YOU ALL.

SIR... C.J. CREGG ASKED FOR A MINUTE. YEAH?

YEAH, I COULD'VE SEEN THAT COMING.

C.J.: MR. VICE PRESIDENT...

YEAH, WHOEVER DANNY HAS BEEN TALKING TO, IT WASN'T ME, C.J.

I WANT TO KEEP IT FROM BECOMING A STORY. IT'S NOT A STORY.

AND I'D LIKE TO KEEP IT THAT WAY, SIR.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

WHAT HAPPENED AT THE CABINET MEETING

AND HOW DID DANNY FIND OUT ABOUT IT?

NOTHING HAPPENED AT THE CABINET MEETING

AND I HAVE NO IDEA HOW DANNY FOUND OUT ABOUT IT.

MOREOVER, THE IMPLICATION

THAT I LEAKED PRIVILEGED INFORMATION IS

AS STUPID AS IT IS INSULTING

AND I'D LIKE TO REMIND YOU

THAT WHATEVER REGARD YOU MAY HOLD FOR ME PERSONALLY

YOU ARE ADDRESSING THE OFFICE OF THE VICE PRESIDENT.

YES, SIR.

ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, SIR.

GOOD.

LET'S GO.

LET'S GO.

WHAT'S UP?

BANKING BILL'S GOING TO PASS THE HOUSE.

LET'S PREPARE A STATEMENT.

CRANE SURE? SAID IT WAS IN THE BAG.

HOW WAS LUNCH? IN THE BAG.

NO, TOBY, IT'S NOT.

I JUST GOT DONE WITH CRANE.

WELL, CRANE'S TWO HOURS BEHIND.

OH, DON'T TELL ME.

WHAT'D HE ATTACH?

A LAND-USE RIDER.

WHO? BRODERICK AND EATON.

BRODERICK AND EATON? YEP.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT.

BIG SKY FEDERAL RESERVE, SAM.

THEY WANT TO STRIP-MINE THE LENGTH AND BREADTH

OF MONTANA.

WE DON'T CARE.

WE DO CARE.

NOT TODAY. SAM...

SINCE WHEN ARE YOU OUTDOORSY?

THIS ISN'T ABOUT THE ENVIRONMENT-- IT'S RETRIBUTION.

YEAH, NO KIDDING.

( sighs )

WE NEED TO SEE THE PRESIDENT.

YEAH, WE NEED TO SEE THE PRESIDENT.

BRODERICK AND EATON?

YEP.

C.J.: I AM RELUCTANT TO CHARACTERIZE IT

OTHER THAN TO SAY

THE PRESIDENT WAS INTERESTED

IN WHAT THE PRACTICALEFFECTS OF THE POLICY WOULD BE.

BUT IN ALL, YOU'D SAY THE WHITE HOUSE IS OPTIMISTIC

ABOUT THE CHANCES OF PASSAGE THROUGH THE HOUSE

OF THE BANKING BILL?

VERY OPTIMISTIC.

YOU'RE NOT CONCERNED

ABOUT THE ATTACHMENT OF THE LAND-USE RIDER?

I'M SORRY?

I SAY THE WHITE HOUSE ISN'T CONCERNED

ABOUT THE ATTACHMENT OF THE LAND-USE RIDER?

THAT'S BEING WORKED OUT

AND I CAN GO INTO MORE DETAIL LATER.

COULD YOU GO INTO MORE DETAIL NOW?

I COULD, BUT YOU'D HAVE NO REASON TO TALK TO ME LATER.

C.J.... LATER THIS AFTERNOON.

THANK YOU, EVERYBODY.

( sighs )

BONNIE, FIND TOBY FOR ME, WOULD YOU? SURE.

LAND-USE RIDER WAS A BIT OF A SHOCK, HUH?

DANNY, DO YOU SEE THIS IS A RESTRICTED AREA?

THERE ARE SIGNS POSTED.

WHERE? THERE ARE USUALLY SIGNS POSTED.

HEY, YOU GUYS DON'T MIND ME BACK HERE, DO YOU?

SEE? DANNY...

LOOKED LIKE SOMEONE TOOK YOUR LEGS OUT FROM UNDER YOU.

SPEAKING OF LEGS... FIRST OF ALL, YOU'RE WRONG.

SECOND OF ALL, SHUT UP.

THIRD, I WENT TO HOYNES WITH YOUR THING

AND HE SAID HE WASN'T THE ONE WHO TALKED TO YOU

AND I BELIEVE HIM, AND HE'S REALLY PISSED AT ME AND HE'S RIGHT

AND, FOURTH... SHUT UP AGAIN.

IT WASN'T HOYNES WHO TALKED TO ME.

YES, WELL, I KNOW THAT NOW.

I ENJOY MOVIES.

I ENJOY MUSIC.

I'M NOT WILD ABOUT ICE SKATING

BUT, WHAT THE HELL, I'LL DO IT.

SAY, "GOOD-BYE," TO DANNY, EVERYBODY.

BYE, DANNY.

DAY'S WORK FOR A DAY'S PAY.

TOBY'S IN HIS OFFICE.

I'LL BE RIGHT BACK.

SHOULD I TELL HIM YOU'RE COMING?

NO, I'D LIKE TO KEEP THIS A SURPRISE.

NEVER MIND, CATHY.

BIG SKY FEDERAL RESERVE.

IN MONTANA?

YES, SIR.

WHAT HAPPENED?

EATON AND BRODERICK GOT A LAND-USE RIDER

INTO THE CONFERENCE REPORT.

"EATON AND BRODERICK"?

YES, SIR.

EATON AND BRODERICK ATTACHED A LAND-USE RIDER?

YOU'RE SURPRISED EATON AND BRODERICK

HAVE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN STRIP MINING?

I'M SURPRISED EATON AND BRODERICK

HAVE TAKEN AN INTEREST IN ANYTHING.

IT'S RETALIATORY, SIR.

FOR WHAT?

THE CAMPAIGN.

WHAT DID I DO TO THEM DURING THE CAMPAIGN?

YOU WON, SIR.

THEY WANT TO STRIP- MINE BIG SKY?

MR. PRESIDENT... SWALLOW IT. YEAH?

I KNEW YOU'D TO SAY THAT.

IT'S THE RIGHT THING. NO, IT'S NOT.

YOU MEAN TO TELL ME, WE TAKE...

President: EXCUSE ME, FELLAS.

OVER HERE, PLEASE.

IT'S A BANKING REFORM BILL.

THAT'S THE BALL GAME.

LET'S NOT GET INTO AN INTRAMURAL SPITBALL CONTEST

OVER A COUPLE OF ROCKS

THAT ARE UNINHABITABLE EIGHT MONTHS OF THE YEAR ANYWAY.

THEY'RE PRETTY GOOD-LOOKING ROCKS.

Josh: WHAT SAM MEANT TO SAY WAS

THAT WE CAN LIVE WITHOUT THE ENVIRONMENTAL LOBBY.

I DON'T BELIEVE THAT IS WHAT I MEANT TO SAY, JOSH.

I BELIEVE WHAT I MEANT TO SAY IS

IT'LL SAVE REAL PEOPLE REAL MONEY.

TOUGH.

WHAT DO YOU DO, JOSH?

VETO IT. IT'S OUR BILL.

VETO IT, ANYWAY.

HE'S RIGHT. WHY?

SEND A SIGNAL TO THE BANKING COMMITTEE

THAT WE WILL NOT BE HELD HOSTAGE.

YES, MR. PRESIDENT, TELL THEM INSTEAD

WE'D MUCH RATHER BE HELD HOSTAGE BY WILDLIFE ACTIVISTS

'CAUSE THAT'S A POSITION THAT ALWAYS WORKS WELL FOR US

AND I THINK IT'S PARTICULARLY IMPORTANT

IN THE NEXT ELECTION WE MAKE SURE WE CARRY MONTANA

AND ITS THREE ELECTORAL VOTES.

Josh: I KNEW THE DAY WOULD COME

WHEN SAM WOULD SELL OFF ENTIRE STATES.

I WAS HOPING HE'D START WITH DELAWARE.

TOBY? GIVE ME A FEW HOURS, SIR.

LET ME SPEAK TO SOME PEOPLE.

President: LEO? YEAH.

I DON'T LIKE THESE PEOPLE, TOBY.

I DON'T WANT TO LOSE.

YES, SIR.

ALL RIGHT, WHAT'S NEXT?

HEY.

HEY... NO, DON'T GET UP.

OH, I'M JUST...

NO, IT'S FINE, PLEASE.

DID YOU NEED SOMETHING?

NAH, I JUST CAME IN TO SEE WHAT YOU WERE DOING.

NO APPOINTMENTS?

NAH, YOU KNOW, WE HAD MOST OF THE NIGHT BLOCKED

FOR THAT THING, AND IT GOT CANCELED, SO...

TAKE THE NIGHT OFF. NAH.

YOU SHOULD TAKE THE NIGHT OFF.

I STILL GOT 400 PAGES OF NONSENSE TO READ.

LEAVE IT TILL TOMORROW.

I DON'T LIKE RATTLING AROUND IN THAT PLACE

WITH NO ONE BUT THE BUTLERS.

CALL ABBEY, GET IN BED AND TURN ON THE FOOTBALL GAME.

MAYBE LATER.

OKAY.

YOU HAD BREAKFAST WITH MAL?

YEP.

HOW'S SHE DOING?

SHE'S PISSED AT ME.

WHAT'D YOU EXPECT?

I KNOW. YOU IGNORED HER MOTHER.

OH, COME ON, I DIDN'T...

NO, I'M SAYING THAT'S WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE

TO HER, RIGHT NOW.

BUT SHE SEES WHAT THE JOB IS.

NO, SHE DOESN'T SEE WHAT THE JOB IS

AND ANYONE WOULD HAVE TO SEE IT TO BELIEVE IT

AND EVEN IF THEY SAW IT, AND EVEN IF THEY BELIEVED IT

WHAT WOULD IT MATTER?

SHE'S HER MOTHER'S DAUGHTER AND YOU MADE HER MOTHER CRY.

YOU REALLY THREW SOME SUNSHINE DOWN ON THAT ONE.

THANK YOU, SIR.

WELL, I'M RIGHT NEXT DOOR ALL NIGHT.

ME, TOO.

OKAY.

( typing )

JOSH? YEAH.

MANDY WANTS TO SEE YOU.

CAN YOU TELL HER I'M NOT IN?

NO. I THINK THE SHIP'S

PRETTY MUCH SAILED ON THAT ONE.

HOW YOU DOING?

LET ME SAY THIS--

IT'S A GOOD BILL.

THE BANKING BILL?

YES. IT IS A GOOD BILL.

WHAT'S MORE, IT WORKS FOR US.

YES, IT DOES.

NO MORE 24% CREDIT CARD INTEREST.

MORE SAVINGS FOR THE AVERAGE PEOPLE THAN A TAX CUT.

NO UNJUSTIFIED HOLDS ON DEPOSITS.

THESE ARE ALL PHRASES I CAN DO SOMETHING WITH.

I HAVE NO ARGUMENT WITH THAT

BUT WHEN THEY ATTACH A RIDER THAT SAYS THEY CAN STRIP-MINE...

YOU NEVER CLIMBED A TREE IN YOUR LIFE.

YOU DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT BIG SKY.

I DON'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT BIG SKY.

I DO GIVE A DAMN ABOUT HANGING A SIGN OUTSIDE THE WHITE HOUSE

THAT SAYS, "HEY, REPUBLICANS IN CONGRESS

"FEEL FREE TO SLAP US AROUND ANYTIME YOU WANT TO

JUST TO SHOW US THAT YOU CAN."

YOU DON'T LIKE BRODERICK AND EATON.

I DON'T LIKE BRODERICK AND EATON

BUT THAT'S NOT THE POINT.

I THINK IT'S MORE THE POINT THAN YOU THINK.

HOW? WHEN YOU'RE COMPETITIVE

WHEN YOU'RE COMBATIVE

YOU JUICE UP THE PRESIDENT, AND YOU KNOW IT.

WELL, I'LL, I'LL KEEP THAT IN MIND.

NO, YOU WON'T.

WHY DO YOU SAY THAT?

BECAUSE YOU NEVER DO.

SIR? YEAH.

GOT TO RUN.

I'M NOT DONE WITH YOU.

OH. THANKS, LIZ.

EXCUSE ME

MR. McGARRY?

CHARLIE, CALL ME "LEO," WOULD YOU?

I'LL TRY, SIR.

WHAT DO YOU NEED?

I'VE GOT A MESSAGE

FROM NANCY BECKER'S OFFICE.

TOMORROW'S THE DEPUTY TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY'S

50th BIRTHDAY-- THE PRESIDENT USUALLY LIKES TO SEND A LETTER.

YEAH. TELL SOMEONE IN THE COMMUNICATIONS OFFICE.

THEY'LL GIVE IT TO ONE OF THE STAFFERS.

YES, SIR.

WAIT.

NANCY BECKER NEEDS IT TONIGHT?

YES, SIR.

GIVE IT TO SAM.

YES, SIR.

SAM? LISTEN... CHARLIE!

HOW DO I LOOK? YOU LOOK GOOD.

I WENT TO THE GYM, I RODE THE BIKE

TOOK A SHOWER AND SHAVED.

MR. McGARRY WANTS... EVEN GOT MY SHOES SHINED, TOO.

YOU KNOW WHY? SAM...

I'M GOING TO THE BEIJING OPERA TONIGHT--

WHICH, I IMAGINE, WILL BE EXCRUCIATING

BUT I'M GOING TO GO AHEAD AND DO IT ANYWAY.

SAM, TOMORROW'S THE ASSISTANT

TRANSPORTATION SECRETARY'S

50th BIRTHDAY, AND LEO WANTS YOU

TO WRITE A MESSAGE FROM THE PRESIDENT.

HE WANTS ME? YEAH.

HE WANTS ME TO WRITE

A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE FOR THE PRESIDENT?

NANCY BECKER NEEDS IT TONIGHT.

ARE YOU SURE HE DOESN'T WANT SOMEONE WHO

YOU KNOW, ISN'T STAGGERINGLY OVERQUALIFIED FOR THE JOB?

HE SPECIFICALLY ASKED FOR YOU.

WHAT TIME IS IT?

TEN AFTER 7:00.

UH, SOMEBODY, ANYBODY?

UH, WRITE A TWO-PAGE MEMO

ON THE PERSONAL HISTORY AND PROFESSIONAL ACCOMPLISHMENTS

OF THE ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.

I'VE GOT THIS UNDER CONTROL.

ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?

YES.

WHAT WAS THE LAST THING I SAID?

THE LAST THING YOU SAID WAS "ARE YOU LISTENING TO ME?"

TOBY!

I AM NOT THE ONE TO TALK TO

ABOUT THE BANKING BILL ANYMORE.

I HAVE HATRED IN MY HEART.

TOWARD WHOM?

GO AHEAD AND PICK THEM. TODAY, BRUCE CRANE.

EXCUSE ME.

HEY.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WOULD YOU TELL HIM

THAT SIGNING THE BILL

AND THUS SWALLOWING THE BITTER PILL OF STRIP MINING

WOULD NOT FORECLOSE A P.R. APPROACH THAT WOULD TRUMPET

BANKING REFORMS WHILE AT THE SAME TIME

EXCORIATING THE SPECIAL INTEREST STRIP-MINING SCAM

WHICH, BY THE WAY, IS WHAT I'M HAPPY TO CALL IT.

TELL HIM THAT.

TOBY...

MM-HMM. MANDY WANTS YOU

TO RECOMMEND TO THE PRESIDENT

THAT WE DO IT HER WAY.

DO YOU UNDERSTAND WHAT SHE SAID?

NO, BUT SHE SEEMED PRETTY CONFIDENT.

I WOULD LIKE TO TALK TO JOSH AGAIN.

TALK TO ANYONE YOU WANT

BUT IN THIS PARTICULAR ROOM I NEED TO WORK.

THANK YOU.

MANDY...

YOU PEOPLE ARE SO WILLING

TO CUT YOUR NOSES OFF TO SPITE YOUR FACES.

YEAH. I WANTED TO ASK YOU SOMETHING.

WHAT? YOU KNOW DANNY CONCANON PRETTY WELL, DON'T YOU?

YEAH. HE'S SNIFFING AROUND A STORY

ABOUT THE PRESIDENT AND HOYNES

AT THE CABINET MEETING THIS MORNING.

IT'S NOT A BIG DEAL, BUT I WANT HIM TO BACK OFF.

MAKE HIM A TRADE. YEAH?

GIVE HIM A HALF HOUR WITH THE PRESIDENT.

THANKS.

NOW, WILL YOU HELP ME WITH JOSH AND TOBY?

THE PRESIDENT'S BEEN MESSED WITH.

HE BEAT THE BANKING LOBBY.

BRODERICK AND EATON CAME BACK AT THE 11th HOUR

AND GAVE HIM A CHEAP CLIP IN THE KNEES.

THIS IS THE KIND OF THING JOSH AND TOBY GET GEARED UP FOR.

YOU WON'T TALK THEM DOWN.

YOU GUYS ARE IDIOTS, DO YOU KNOW THAT?

IN OUR OWN DEFENSE, WE ACTUALLY DO KNOW THAT.

WELL, THIS IS FINE.

EXCELLENT.

THEY HAD YOU WRITE THIS?

YES, SIR.

YOU'RE NOT A LITTLE OVERQUALIFIED

FOR A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE?

I WAS HAPPY TO DO IT, SIR.

REALLY? OF COURSE.

I APPRECIATE IT, SAM. NO PROBLEM.

LISTEN... YES, SIR.

I MEAN, AS LONG AS YOU'RE ON IT, AND YOU DON'T MIND

WHY DON'T WE TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR BEING ON IT

AND, YOU KNOW, REALLY DO A JOB.

"DO A JOB"?

IT'S HIS 50th BIRTHDAY.

LET'S GIVE IT THE SAM SEABORN QUILL.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

OF COURSE, I'D BE HONORED, SIR.

GOOD. TAKE YOUR TIME.

BRING ME BACK THE NEXT DRAFT WHEN IT'S READY.

REALLY APPRECIATE IT, SAM.

MY PLEASURE, MR. PRESIDENT.

DID YOU GET A SHOESHINE, SAM?

YES. I DID.

HEY, SAM.

HELLO!

ARE YOU READY TO GO?

I'D LIKE TO SAY FIRST

THAT YOU LOOK BEAUTIFUL TONIGHT, MALLORY.

THANK YOU, SAM.

I MEAN IT.

WHAT WOULD YOU LIKE TO SAY SECOND?

CAN WE TALK IN MY OFFICE FOR A MINUTE?

HELLO. HELLO.

MAY I DISCUSS YOUR STORY FOR A MOMENT?

CABINET MEETING?

YEAH. SURE.

I REALLY HAVE A HARD TIME BELIEVING

ONE OF THE CABINET OFFICERS...

CABINET OFFICERS WEREN'T THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE ROOM.

I'M GOING TO FIRE HER. WHO?

YOU KNOW WHO. DON'T FIRE HER.

WHY NOT? IT'S NOT NICE.

THE PRESIDENT WOULD APPRECIATE IT

IF YOU DIDN'T PURSUE THIS STORY

AND TO SHOW HIS GRATITUDE HE CAN GIVE YOU 30 MINUTES

ON ANY SUBJECT OR SUBJECTS YOU LIKE.

WELL, THAT SOUNDS GOOD.

BUT IT'S NOT ENOUGH.

WHAT ELSE?

I'D LIKE YOU

TO SING A SONG FOR ME.

DANNY... A LITTLE SONG.

WILL YOU TAKE IT?

YES.

THANK YOU.

C.J.?

YEAH?

ANYBODY GETS FIRED OVER THIS

I'M GOING TO WRITE ABOUT WHY.

UNDERSTOOD.

Mallory: THE ASSISTANT SECRETARY

OF TRANSPORTATION? YES.

DO YOU MIND IF I ASK YOU A COUPLE QUESTIONS?

SURE. DURING THE CAMPAIGN

YOU CRAFTED A SIGNIFICANT PORTION OF THE PRESIDENT'S

STUMP SPEECH, DID YOU NOT? YES.

THE ACCEPTANCE SPEECH AT THE CONVENTION. YES.

THE INAUGURAL. YES.

STATE OF THE UNION. YES.

AND NOW THE PRESIDENT'S ASKING YOU TO WRITE

A BIRTHDAY CARD?

BIRTHDAY MESSAGE.

FOR THE... SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.

ACTUALLY, IT'S THE ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.

OH, THE ASSISTANT SECRETARY OF TRANSPORTATION.

YES, ONE OF THEM.

SAM, IF YOU DIDN'T WANT TO GO WITH ME

YOU SHOULD HAVE JUST SAID SO

AND IF YOU STARTED TO CHICKEN OUT

YOU SHOULD HAVE CALLED ME.

I DIDN'T CHICKEN OUT.

I'M ALL DRESSED UP, SAM.

MY SHOES ARE SHINED. SHUT UP.

THIS IS SOMETHING THAT CAME UP, MALLORY.

IT'S HIS 50th BIRTHDAY.

THEY COULDN'T HAVE SEEN THIS COMING

FOR, LIKE, THE LAST 50 YEARS? FAIR POINT.

I'M GOING HOME. DON'T GO HOME. STAY HERE.

GIVE ME A HALF HOUR, I CAN COME UP

WITH A NEW DRAFT. A NEW DRAFT?

YES. YOU'VE ALREADY

DONE A DRAFT? YES.

YOU NEED TO DO MORE THAN ONE DRAFT

ON A BIRTHDAY CARD?

BIRTHDAY MESSAGE, MALLORY.

SAM. HALF HOUR.

WE'LL GET THERE BY INTERMISSION.

THERE'LL BE PLENTY OF DEATH AND SHRIEKING

IN THE SECOND ACT.

GO.

YOU LOOK FANTAS...

GO!

TOBY?

YES.

YOU KNOW WHAT I THINK?

WHAT?

I THINK IT WASN'T BRODERICK AND EATON.

I JUST, I DON'T THINK THEY HAVE THE MUSCLE.

YEAH.

I THINK IT WAS CRANE.

YEAH.

HONEST TO GOD, I THINK IT WAS CRANE.

YEAH.

YOUR FRIEND CRANE.

YEAH.

THE GUY WHO TOLD YOU THAT IT WAS GOING

TO GO THROUGH, NO PROBLEM.

YEAH.

YOU'RE NOT BOTHERED BY THIS?

I WOULDN'T SAY THAT.

I'D SAY WE'VE REACHED THE END OF THE LINE

AND I'M REALLY NOT INTERESTED IN HOW WE GOT THERE

AND I'M READY

TO MOVE ON.

HOW?

SAM'S RIGHT. NO.

LET'S TELL HIM TO SIGN IT. NOT YET.

ROUND'S OVER, JOSH. WE DID FINE.

WE GOT SCREWED, TOBY.

NOT SO BAD.

YEAH, BUT... BUT CRANE AND BRODERICK AND EATON?

IT WAS THEIR TURN.

I'M STILL WORKING ON THIS.

WELL, THE PRESIDENT'S

GOING TO NEED TO HEAR SOMETHING.

I GOT A FEW HOURS.

SUIT YOURSELF.

GOOD EVENING, C.J.

GOOD EVENING, MRS. LANDINGHAM.

IS HE FREE FOR A MOMENT?

HE'S CATCHING UP ON SOME READING.

I CAN COME BACK. GO ON IN.

I THINK HE'S LOOKING FOR COMPANY. THANKS.

( knock at door )

HEY, C.J.

GOOD EVENING, MR. PRESIDENT.

AM I DISTURBING YOU?

NO, NO. SIT DOWN.

WHAT'S GOING ON?

WHEN ARE JOSH AND TOBY

GOING TO COME UP WITH A SOLUTION, HUH?

FOR THE LAND USE RIDER?

I WANT THE BANKING DEAL

AND I DON'T WANT TO GIVE IN.

A CLASSIC CONUNDRUM. YES.

SPEAKING OF CLASSIC CONUNDRUMS...

I DON'T WANT TO HEAR

ABOUT HOYNES AND THE CABINET MEETING.

MR. PRESIDENT...

IS DANNY GOING TO MAKE IT A THING? NO.

WHAT DID YOU HAVE TO GIVE HIM?

A HALF-HOUR SIT-DOWN

ON THE RECORD.

SOLD.

SIR?

YES.

THE VICE PRESIDENT WASN'T THE ONE WHO TALKED.

SURE, HE WAS.

I DON'T THINK SO.

YOU'RE WRONG. I'M PRETTY SURE

IT WAS THE WOMAN TAKING MINUTES.

MILDRED?

YEAH.

LET'S DROP IT.

YES, SIR.

ANYTHING ELSE?

NO, SIR.

OKAY. GET OUT OF HERE.

THANK YOU.

OKAY.

( sighing )

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

WOULD YOU COME ON?

WHAT ARE YOU, RALPH KRAMDEN?

I'M NOT UNDER ENOUGH PRESSURE?

IT'S A BIRTHDAY CARD.

I DON'T CARE IF IT'S A CUPCAKE RECIPE.

I WAS ASKED TO DO IT BY THE PRESIDENT

OF THE UNITED STATES.

WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?

I SAID I WAS ASKED TO DO IT BY...

NO. YOU WEREN'T.

SAM, DID YOU BY ANY CHANCE

TELL MY FATHER THAT YOU AND I

WERE GOING OUT TONIGHT?

YES. YES, I DID.

EXCUSE ME.

YEAH.

OKAY, HERE WE GO.

NOPE.

...FINDINGS, WHICH, BY THE WAY

DID NOTHING TO SUPPORT OUR POSITION IN LIGHT

OF THE FINANCE COMMITTEE'S SPECULATION, NEED TO BE

REFERRED TO BACK TO THE O.M.B.

YOURS, VERY UNHAPPILY--

COPY THAT TO JOSH.

WHAT'S THE PRESIDENT GOING TO DO ABOUT BIG SKY?

WHEN HE TELLS ME, I'LL TELL YOU.

WHAT'S NEXT?

EXCUSE ME, MARGARET.

HELLO.

HEY, BABY.

DON'T "HEY, BABY" ME, YOU ADDLE-MINDED

MACHIAVELLIAN JERK.

SHOULD I STEP OUT?

SOUNDS LIKE IT.

YOU GAVE HIM THAT IDIOT ASSIGNMENT ON PURPOSE.

YES.

WHY?

'CAUSE I FELT LIKE IT.

DAD. YOU KNOW WHAT, MAL?

YOUR MOM'S GOT A GENUINE BEEF.

I WIDOWED HER THE DAY I TOOK OVER THE CAMPAIGN

BUT I DON'T THINK I'VE DONE ANYTHING TO YOU.

WORKING IN THE WHITE HOUSE DOESN'T ALLOW ANY FLEXIBILITY

IN SO FAR AS LEISURE TIME

AS YOU'VE DISCOVERED THIS EVENING.

I'M DONE BEING BLAMED BY YOU FOR THIS.

SO YOU MAKE SAM WRITE A BIRTHDAY CARD?

A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE.

WHY?

JUST MY SENSE OF HUMOR.

HEY, MAL.

GOOD EVENING, MR. PRESIDENT.

MARGARET?

HEY, YOU'RE ALL DRESSED UP.

YES, I AM.

YES, SIR.

President: YES. COULD YOU BRING ME

THE CHIEF OF STAFF'S SCHEDULE FOR TODAY, PLEASE?

YES, SIR.

THANK YOU.

YOU LOOK A LITTLE GLUM, MALLORY.

DID YOU HAVE PLANS

TO GO OUT THIS EVENING WITH SOMEONE WHO HAD TO CANCEL

DUE TO CIRCUMSTANCES BEYOND THEIR CONTROL

BECAUSE THEY HAD MADE

A COMMITMENT TO A COMMON

AND HIGHER PURPOSE?

YOU'RE A COCONSPIRATOR ON THIS.

OH.

THANK YOU, MARGARET.

THESE ARE JUST SOME

OF THE THINGS YOUR FATHER DID TODAY.

HE MET WITH THE DIRECTOR OF THE CIA

AND RECEIVED AN INTELLIGENCE BRIEFING

REGARDING STORES OF PLUTONIUM

IN A COUNTRY WHICH, SHALL WE JUST SAY

IS NOT ON OUR CHRISTMAS CARD LIST.

HE BROKERED A COMPROMISE AMONG SENATE DEMOCRATS

FOR FUNDING OF SOMETHING FAIRLY TRIVIAL

BUT I CAN'T REMEMBER QUITE WHAT THIS WAS.

OH, YES, OF COURSE.

THE U.S. ARMY. YES.

HE MET WITH MY CHIEF COUNSEL TO DISCUSS THE NEWS

THAT IT'S POSSIBLE I'VE BROKEN SEVERAL FEDERAL LAWS IN THE WEEK

AND MAY HAVE TO SERVE FROM ONE TO THREE YEARS IN PRISON

AFTER RESIGNING MY OFFICE IN DISGRACE.

HOW'D THAT GO, BY THE WAY?

WE'RE FINE.

COOL.

UH, HE RECEIVED A SECURITY BRIEFING

A CENTRAL AMERICAN BRIEFING

AND WROTE A POSITION PAPER.

AND HE'S BEEN COUNSELING ME

THROUGHOUT THE DAY

ON A BAD DECISION I HAVE TO MAKE.

OH, AND BY THE WAY, THIS WAS A VERY LIGHT DAY.

DUE RESPECT, MR. PRESIDENT, WHAT'S YOUR POINT?

UH, THAT'S A PERFECTLY FAIR QUESTION.

YOU KNOW WHAT, SIR?

I CAN TAKE IT FROM HERE.

OKAY.

THANK YOU.

I'M RIGHT NEXT DOOR.

THANK YOU.

OH, UH, MY POINT IS...

GIVE YOUR DAD A BREAK.

HE'S YOUR FATHER.

THANK YOU, SIR.

ARE YOU BLOWING ME OFF?

YES, SIR.

OKAY.

I'M NOT BLAMING YOU, DAD.

IT FEELS LIKE YOU ARE.

LET ME FIX THAT.

OKAY. LET'S SAY, YOU AND I

WE TAKE THESE TICKETS.

WE'LL GO CATCH THE SECOND ACT.

IS THERE ANOTHER WAY, ANY OTHER WAY

WE CAN FIX THIS?

DAD... DID YOU HEAR THE PRESIDENT TELL YOU ABOUT MY DAY?

YES.

AND NOW CHINESE OPERA?

OKAY, COFFEE AND DESSERT.

NOW YOU'RE TALKING.

WE SHOULD ASK SAM.

YES, BY ALL MEANS, LET'S ASK SAM.

BE NICE TO HIM.

I'LL BE GONE FOR A WHILE, MARGARET.

OKAY. DAD...

I'LL BE NICE. I'LL BE NICE.

LEAVE ME ALONE.

MM-HMM. MM-HMM.

MM-HMM.

MM-HMM...

THIS IS GETTING SERIOUS.

GOOD NEWS.

HELLO.

HELLO, SAM.

YOU'RE OFF THE HOOK FOR THE OPERA.

WE WOULD FOR YOU TO COME AND JOIN US FOR COFFEE.

ALSO, MY FATHER HAS SOMETHING HE'D LIKE TO SAY TO YOU.

DAD?

IS THIS REALLY NECESSARY?

I BELIEVE IT IS.

SAM, I GAVE YOU

THE THING TO DO 'CAUSE I WAS PISSED

YOU WERE TAKING, YOU KNOW, BLAH, BLAH, BLAH.

WELL SAID, DAD.

ANYWAY, I'M SORRY ABOUT THAT.

YEAH, I FIGURED.

SAY, DO YOU MIND IF I SKIP THE COFFEE?

I WANT TO NAIL THIS THING.

OH, FORGET IT. YOUR FIRST DRAFT WAS FINE.

I WANT TO NAIL IT, LEO.

SAM, THE PRESIDENT WAS IN ON IT.

YOUR FIRST DRAFT WAS FINE.

YEAH, BUT STILL...

YOU WANT TO NAIL IT.

I DO.

YOU'RE SO EXACTLY LIKE HIM.

WELL, THAT IS THE NICEST THING YOU'VE EVER SAID TO ME.

THANK YOU.

LET'S GO.

I'LL BE BACK IN AN HOUR.

ALL RIGHT.

HERE WE GO.

( knocking )

MR. PRESIDENT?

YES?

THE VICE PRESIDENT, SIR.

YEAH, OKAY.

GOOD EVENING, SIR.

HOW ARE YOU, JOHN?

FINE, SIR.

GOOD.

WHAT CAN I DO FOR YOU?

WELL, I THOUGHT MAYBE WE OUGHT TO STRAIGHTEN OUT

THIS BUSINESS FROM THIS MORNING

BEFORE IT GOT OUT OF HAND.

C.J.'s ALREADY TALKED TO DANNY CONCANON.

I THINK WE'RE FINE.

WELL, ACTUALLY, I MEANT BETWEEN US.

WELL, THAT'S A DIFFERENT STORY.

WELL... I WAS NOT CONCANON'S SOURCE.

NOW, YOU CAN BELIEVE THAT OR NOT, BUT IT IS TRUE.

OKAY.

WELL.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

GOOD NIGHT, JOHN.

JOHN?

WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU?

WHERE IN OUR PAST, WHAT DID I DO

TO MAKE YOU TREAT ME THIS WAY?

JOHN... WHAT DID I EVER DO TO YOU

EXCEPT DELIVER THE SOUTH?

REALLY? YES.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE ME BEG, JOHN.

I WAS ASKING YOU TO BE THE VICE PRESIDENT.

DUE RESPECT, MR. PRESIDENT.

YOU HAD JUST KICKED MY ASS IN A PRIMARY.

I'M 15 YEARS YOUNGER THAN YOU.

I HAVE MY CAREER TO THINK OF.

THEN DON'T STAND THERE AND ASK THE QUESTION, JOHN.

IT WEAKENED ME RIGHT OUT OF THE GATE.

YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE MADE ME BEG.

WELL...

I'M GLAD C.J. STRAIGHTENED THINGS OUT WITH DANNY.

YEAH.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

GOOD NIGHT, JOHN.

Mandy: THIS BILL WILL STOP THE BANKING LOBBY

FROM GETTING WHATEVER IT WANTS

INCLUDING BANK DEREGULATION.

DONNA, WHO AM I TALKING TO ABOUT THIS?

MADISON. THANK YOU.

YOU DON'T THINK IT'S WORTH GIVING UP A PIECE OF LAND?

MANDY... I'M SAYING THERE'S A POLITICAL GAIN

TO BEATING THE BANKING LOBBY.

AND THERE'S A POLITICAL COST

TO LETTING IT GO WITH A RIDER ATTACHED.

I KNOW YOU WANT TO WIN, JOSH, BUT I'VE GOT NEWS FOR YOU.

YOU'VE WON. NO. WE'RE TIED.

WHEN THAT'S THE BEST YOU CAN DO YOU DEPART THE FIELD

AND YOU CALL IT A WIN.

IT'S NOT A WIN.

DONNA, WOULD YOU TELL LEO'S OFFICE THAT I'LL HAVE

A SOLUTION FOR THE PRESIDENT VERY SOON.

DO YOU HAVE A SOLUTION FOR THE PRESIDENT?

DOES IT LOOK LIKE I HAVE A SOLUTION FOR THE PRESIDENT?

NO. THEN LET'S ASSUME I DON'T.

I CAN PUT A BEST FACE ON IT, JOSH.

IT'S WHAT I DO.

YOU CAN PUT A BEST FACE ON A TURNPIKE COLLISION.

I'M NOT MOVED.

YOU'RE FIGHTING THE WRONG FIGHTS

AND YOU'RE DOING IT FOR THE WRONG REASONS.

THAT'S ALL.

WHAT WAS THAT ALL ABOUT?

NOTHING.

YOU SURE?

YEAH. OKAY.

WHERE'S THE MADISON STUFF?

WE'RE GETTING IT.

DONNA IT'S 20 MINUTES.

I NEED IT FASTER.

WE'RE WORKING, JOSH, BUT HONESTLY

THE COMPUTER FILES ARE PRETTY ANTIQUATED.

YEAH, ALL RIGHT.

WAIT. WHAT?

I SAID THAT THE COMPUTER...

THEY'RE ANTIQUATED.

YEAH?

THEY'RE ANTIQUATED.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

WOULD YOU HAVE THEM TELL THE PRESIDENT

THAT I'M READY TO SEE HIM AT HIS CONVENIENCE?

YOU'RE SURE?

YEAH.

Toby: HMM.

HMM.

HMM. I GOT TO TELL YOU, TOBY...

AM I BOTHERING YOU?

WELL, I'M NOT FEELING RELAXED.

WELL, MAYBE YOU NEED A GLASS OF WINE.

MAYBE YOU NEED TO STOP STANDING OVER MY SHOULDER.

WHY DON'T YOU LET ME TRY THIS?

GUESS WHAT.

TELL HIM TO LET ME WRITE THIS THING.

THE ANTIQUITIES ACT.

THE ANTIQUITIES ACT?

YEAH.

THAT'S CREATIVE.

THE ANTIQUITIES ACT.

THE PRESIDENT IS EMPOWERED

TO DESIGNATE ANY FEDERAL LAND TO BE

A NATIONAL PARK. BIG SKY.

DONE DEAL. GO TELL HIM.

YOU WANT TO COME?

NO. I WANT TO STAY HERE.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I WANT TO NAIL THIS.

WHAT IS IT?

A BIRTHDAY CARD FOR SOMEONE.

FOR WHOM?

I DON'T KNOW.

IT'S A BIRTHDAY MESSAGE.

LET ME TAKE A CRACK.

ONE MORE TRY. THE TWO OF YOU NEED

TO PUT YOUR HEADS DOWN ON YOUR DESK, YOU KNOW THAT?

RIGHT AWAY, YOU'RE STARTING OFF BAD.

BOTH BLACK AND GRIZZLY BEARS INHABIT GLACIER PARK, CHARLIE

AND HIKERS ARE TOLD TO TALK OR SING

ALONG THE TRAILS TO KEEP THEM AT BAY.

IF I SEE A GRIZZLY BEAR, I'M SUPPOSED TO SING TO IT, SIR?

IT'S NOT AS SILLY AS IT SOUNDS.

WELL, IT SOUNDS PRETTY SILLY.

I SUPPOSE.

WAS THERE ANYTHING ELSE?

YES. GLACIER PARK WAS THE TENTH.

WE HAVE 44 TO GO.

45.

I QUIT.

I HEAR YOU.

HAVE A GOOD NIGHT, CHARLIE.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

WHAT YOU GOT?

THE ANTIQUITIES ACT.

YOU'RE GOING TO ESTABLISH BIG SKY NATIONAL PARK.

( chuckles )

YEAH.

I CAN DO THIS?

YEAH.

YOU UNDERSTAND IT'S A BUNCH OF ROCKS, RIGHT?

I'M SURE SOMEONE WITH YOUR ENCYCLOPEDIC KNOWLEDGE

OF THE RIDICULOUS AND DORK-LIKE WILL BE ABLE TO FIND A TREE

OR A FERRET THAT THE PUBLIC HAS A RIGHT TO VISIT.

MORE THAN A RIGHT, JOSH-- SIR...

IT'S A TREAT.

YES, SIR.

YOU WOULD ENJOY NATURE.

I'VE TRIED NATURE, SIR.

( laughing )

THE ANTIQUITIES ACT.

YES, SIR.

THIS IS SIMPLICITY ITSELF.

YES, SIR.

GOOD JOB.

THANK YOU, SIR.

THANK YOU.

I'M GOING TO BED.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

GOOD NIGHT.

THANK YOU.

GOOD NIGHT.

MR. PRESIDENT?

YEAH?

WE TALK ABOUT ENEMIES MORE THAN WE USED TO.

WHAT?

WE TALK ABOUT ENEMIES MORE THAN WE USED TO.

I WANTED TO MENTION THAT.

YEAH.

GOOD NIGHT, MR. PRESIDENT.

GOOD NIGHT.