Original subtitles

My father Bought these years ago as

An investment.

They were mailed to him in Tubes and then he had them

Framed.

He always said that they Were his insurance policy

For emergencies that might Come up in his old age,

And we sure could Use the money now.

And you were told That these are limited

Editions?

Yes.

These are vincent van gogh Lithographs and we thought

That they would more Than pay for his heart

Procedures.

We were devastated when we Found out that they were

Fakes.

And this is an Impressive forgery on the

Certificate of Authenticity.

Look here, no one Ever gets that right.

They came close.

The problem with Limited editions is that

In the world of fakes There's an unlimited

Supply.

Yeah, probably Cost $50 dollars to make

And the crooks sell Them for thousands.

Yeah, cases Like this are tough.

You know, trying to Determine the original

Source of the scam Can be very difficult.

At least we Have a starting point.

The papazian gallery.

Thank you for bringing This to our attention mr.

Martin.

We may need to look Through the rest of your

Father's collection As we gather evidence.

Of course.

Please, just Get these guys.

We'll do everything We can mr. Martin.

I'm preston Wainwright and this is my

Mom amanda.

She's a united states Postal inspector which

Means she solves any Crime that uses the mail.

My dad was an inspector Too, one of the best,

Until I lost him and the Use of my legs in a car

Accident.

Now I'm following my own Dream with an internship

In the crime lab and the Help of my best friends.

Together we are The inspectors.

So what's our Undercover cover story?

Would we be bff's or Dating or married?

Oh no, I am never Undercover marrying you

Again.

What?

We argue too much.

Well that's what Makes us so believable.

What kind of Rental car did we get?

Convertible.

Ooh, I am team Leader and I really should

Be driving.

No.

I'll let you Drive on the way back.

Alright, fair enough.

Let's go buy some art For our summer mansion.

Do you think we Can really sell that we're

Summer mansion people?

Well yeah.

Look, my Cufflinks match my watch.

Yeah, That'll really sell it.

Standup comedy at The university grind,

Really?

Yeah.

It's open mic Every friday.

I mean I kill it on the Debate team, why can't I

Be funny on stage, you Know, like I am in real

Life?

Look at it this way, you Know I want to go to law

School, right?

Right.

Alright, and Lawyers need to be good

Public speakers, Comfortable in front of

Big crowds.

It's gonna help my public Speaking skills, keep me

On my toes.

Now that's funny; Keep you on your toes.

That all sounds great, But you're funny in that

“noah, this is a really Bad idea” kind of way, not

Necessarily in The comedy go.

Come on, I'm funny, alright.

People are gonna be Crying with laughter.

Oh they'll Be crying alright.

This is what They're calling art?

It's a red dot.

$114,000 dollars For a red dot?

A red dot is not art.

Shhh.

Welcome to Papazian gallery.

I'm marcie, the owner.

How can I help you?

We're interested In some limited edition

Prints; Specifically van gogh.

Yeah, we just Acquired a summer mansion

On the bay and we want To fill it with art.

Van gogh is a good Choice, I adore his work.

He's in high Demand right now.

Price Is no object.

It's not about Money, it's about loyalty.

We can Be very loyal.

And the summer House is 19,000 square

Feet; that's a lot of Van gogh's young lady.

Would you Like an espresso?

What?

I used to work at A calendar factory, yeah.

I got fired though 'cause I took too many days off.

Wait, are you Trying to tell a joke?

What, You don't get it?

I'll try again.

I used to work at a Calendar factory but I got

Fired because I took Too many days off.

Too many days off.

Yeah, we get it.

I don't.

You mean like sick days?

Why would they Fire you for that?

No, no, no, it's Like a double meaning.

Too many days off Of the calendar.

So the Calendars are faulty.

Right.

So They fired you.

See, you Juxtapose the literal with

The figurative and Suspend disbelief.

Dude, if you have to Explain this much it ain't

Funny.

Okay, comedy's Gotta be natural.

You can't be so Literal with it.

You're not solving a case, You're telling a joke.

It's gotta be Quick, a pop.

Veronica, where do Skunks go to pray?

Where?

In a pew.

That's funny.

It's all About the delivery.

You got your work Cut out for you man.

You know, I kind of Shudder to think what that

Is.

It's a spatial Exploration in mauve.

I can say Unequivocally that the

Same person who signed mr. Martin's lithograph also

Signed the ones You just purchased.

And that person is Definitely not the great

Artist vincent van gogh.

See, here's van Gogh's signature.

Now we did lots of Comparisons, I even called

In an expert Just to make sure.

But you see, van gogh Closed his h's and the

Loop in his lower case G, much more narrow.

You know, I could Look at that for days and

Not see the difference.

I mean, well, it Took hours of analyzing,

But the difference is There, it's just very hard

To see.

And most buyers Don't do their homework.

You got plenty to talk About with your gallery

Owner.

Let's Bring her in.

Alright, alright, Let's talk a little bit

About Political correctness.

How many politically Correct people does it

Take to change A lightbulb?

None; why should we impose Our values on a lightbulb.

Oh man, that's a good one.

Let's see&.

Oh, okay, okay, okay&.

So the other day my friend Told me she was cold so I

Told her to go stand in The corner because it's 90

Degrees.

And then I'll hold For applause there.

I asked the guy the other Day, I said “what's the

Fastest way to get to the Unemployment office?” he

Said “college.” oh, hey.

I'm sorry, I Couldn't help myself.

I love that one about The lightbulb, that was so

Funny.

You know, instead of Practicing in front of

That, why don't you Practice in front of me?

Okay, yeah, I've Got about 5 minutes of my

Set done.

Great.

Come on in.

Ooh...

Live audience, alright.

Here we go.

You know the thing they Say about cliffhangers?

You get it?

Nothing like this Has ever happened before.

I can't believe They're fake.

Well we Believe you're lying.

What?

That's absurd.

Those prints were Sold 10 years apart from

Your gallery.

Now do you really expect Us to believe that a

Gallery owner of your Reputation wouldn't know

The difference?

I didn't have Anything to do with

Forging those signatures.

Did anyone mention Anything about forging

Signatures today?

I don't Believe we did.

You can help yourself here Now marcie, but you better

Hurry 'cause this train's Leaving the station.

It's just Something that I fell

Into.

There's such a demand for This kind of art and I had

To fill it somehow and It worked for so long, it

Just didn't seem that bad.

Didn't think it was That bad stealing peoples'

Money?

I didn't look It that way, I'm not a

Forger, I just sold it.

We want Your supplier.

I don't know.

I don't wanna get Lumped in with him.

Oh, so it's a him.

News flash marcie, You're already lumped in

With him.

His name is David michael vaughn.

He holds these periodic Invitation-only auctions.

He's been Using my gallery.

He targets people who have A lot of money and don't

Know a lot about art.

Well then, maybe You can put in a good word

For us.

Sold to our New friends brad and terry

Westmoreland.

What were you telling Me, this one's going on a

Yacht?

Okay, let's Take 5 everybody.

Yacht.

$45,000 dollars.

I could paint that.

Maybe you Should take up painting.

I could loan you Some supplies.

Might help you relax.

Who needs to relax?

Your piece Is exceptional.

This was part of a series That was issued just

Before edgar degas died; Only 10 lithographs were

Ever made.

And the artist personally Signed each and every one

Himself.

You made a really smart Buy, and you picked great

Art.

This is gonna do nothing But go up, up, up in

Value.

Well david, I saw It and I just had to have

It.

Your purchased Art will be mailed to you

Right away.

I'm thrilled that you're Happy and I hope to see

You again soon.

Oh you Can count on that.

Try out as many Jokes as you like but I

Gotta warn you, I'm A tough audience.

So, go ahead, hit me With your best shot.

Okay, Alright, let's see here.

Okay, here we go.

Knock knock...

Now hold on, I gotta stop

You right there.

Are you honestly gonna Tell me that a knock knock

Joke is your best shot?

No, I got more.

Okay here we Go, here we go.

There's two muffins in the Oven, one of the muffins

Looks to the other one and Says “hey, is it hot in

Here or is it just me?” The other muffin goes

“omg, a talking Muffin!”

You wanna laugh.

Your mouth actually just Curled up a little bit

Like you were Going to laugh.

Don't worry honey, He's not your target

Audience.

Yours is the more, you Know, has a sense of humor

Crowd.

Yeah.

Congratulations you two.

Did we Get what we need?

Not exactly.

What you got is beautiful, It's just not a forgery.

You my friends are now the Proud owners of a genuine

Degas.

Sorry.

This must Be how they get ya.

You buy a real piece or Two, have it appraised,

Then they get your trust.

Well, would've been Nice to have known that

Beforehand.

It was hard enough getting Money for this operation,

But then to blow most of Our budget on one piece of

Art!

Most, But not all of it.

Let's go shopping.

You're gonna finish that?

I have to.

I'll see you In the parking lot.

Okay.

I'm driving.

Hey, when I Said get ready to laugh I

Didn't mean every time.

Everybody's entitled To one or two clunkers,

Right?

Hey, no, I Recognize you, right?

You're in my Humanities class?

No?

I don't know, I thought There was some gold there,

Never mind, moving on.

Let's open it up to the Audience, how's that?

What are you guys taking In college besides all

Your parents' money?

Speaking of school, how do You get a college grad off

Your porch?

Pay him for the pizza.

You know, 'cause Unemployment rates are

High.

Oh, I see my buddy noah.

What's up noah?

Noah, what's up man?

You guys know what He got on his sat's?

Drool - 'cause he fell Asleep and he drooled on

The page.

Alright that's all The time that I have.

I'm gonna keep my Identity a secret.

That was terrible.

And you Will never repeat that.

Preston!

Hey.

That was Just really...

You were so brave up there.

Yeah, you definitely Told some jokes and stuff.

Man, that Was a tough crowd.

Yeah, you definitely Told some jokes and stuff.

Man, that Was a tough crowd.

Is it finals Week or something?

Ooh, hey that's good, I'm gonna write that down.

No...

Nah...

...Don't do that.

It didn't Go so hot did it?

Yeah, let's get Out of here before they

Find out your real name.

Sounds good to me.

Was Any of it funny?

Um... The part Before the beginning and

After the end.

Can I get 22.5...

22 thousand five hundred.

Do I hear 23?

23...Is there 24 out there?

24...

I'm looking for 25...

How much do we have Left?

We got enough For one more bump.

Do it.

25... Is There 26 out there?

25...Going once, 25 going Twice...

Would you mind holding

This for me?

Sold for $25 Thousand dollars.

It's not Like preston to be this

Down.

Yeah, he hasn't come Out of his room since he

Got back from the show.

I mean I get it, he Bombed pretty bad.

You know preston, When he puts his mind to

Something he goes all in.

He's not used to failing.

Really?

Failing?

Well not Failing per se.

It just sounds like it Didn't go as well as you

Had hoped.

I'm sorry sweetie.

Well fyi, I plan On getting back up there.

And I Admire your courage.

But you better think About some new material.

Did anybody think That maybe it was a bad

Audience?

I mean that happens.

They laughed At all the other guys.

Well maybe they Were laughed out by the

Time I got up there.

I mean I did go Next to last.

And it was hot in there.

We all know comedy Works best when it's cold.

Alright, I'm thinking About making a couple

Changes.

I've got three spots The

Beginning, the end and Everything in between.

Noah!

Way to pile on.

Honey, can I Make a suggestion?

Instead of telling a bunch Of jokes that just anybody

Could tell, make It more personal.

I mean you've always Had such a great sense of

Humor, why not just talk About your experiences,

How you see things?

More from your heart And less from a book.

I don't know, I Mean isn't the best comedy

Stuff people Can relate to?

Nobody knows what it's Like to be in a chair.

That's the Challenge, you have to

Make them understand.

So the two Muffins joke is out?

I should've known You two weren't wealthy

When I noticed your Terrible taste in

Wristwatches and handbags.

Just so you know, Our team is going through

Wristwatches and handbags.

Just so you know, Our team is going through

All your Merchandise right now.

We know you flooded the Market in forgeries and

Not just through the Papazian gallery, but

There's several other Notable galleries on the

East coast.

And we're aware of Your online businesses.

That's a lot of fraud.

Well, you know what They say, go big or go

Home.

Oh I don't think You'll be going home.

I might.

You do realize That we're still in

Conversations with your Gallery owner marcie.

She's been Quite forthcoming.

Okay look, I'm Pretty good at making

Deals too.

What if I could give you The biggest art fraud in

The country?

Because nobody does Signatures better than

This guy.

Marcel dubois.

He ships more merchandise Than you can even imagine.

Would that make a Difference to the u.S.

Attorney's office?

We can't Promise anything.

That's a chance You'll have to take.

Marcel, you are Gonna kiss me when you see

Me.

I need 150 pieces.

Yeah, I've got a slew of Galleries just begging me

For degas and van gogh.

How soon?

As soon as you can sign.

I know, I know it's a lot.

Stop complaining And get to work.

I'll be in touch.

End of call Between david michael

Vaughn and marcel dubois.

Now what?

Well, now you Should make another call.

To whom?

To the best Attorney you can find.

On Stage, preston wainwright.

Oh...Alright, I think we can tell

Which one my mom is, right?

Thanks mom.

Last time I was here I Didn't do so well as a

Standup comic and I figured out why.

I can't stand up.

No, kidding, kidding.

There actually are some Advantages to being in a

Wheelchair like I can park In an accessible parking

Spot and not fake a limp Like the rest of you guys.

Come on, I've Seen you do it.

I saw you do it Last week man.

But no, I don't let this Chair hold me back from

Anything.

I went out for the track Team; I came home with two

Black eyes and A broken nose.

Hurdling is Surprisingly tough.

Alright, alright, now I'm rolling.

Actually I'm...I'm Always rolling.

When you're in college And people see you're in a

Wheelchair they Automatically assume that

You're like super smart, Which is totally true...

But no, here's Another...Another

Benefit.

It's actually easier to Get a date when you're in

A wheelchair because women Love to push you around.

Alright guys, that's Allthe time I have.

Thank you so much.

Before I leave remember, It's not about laughing at

Someone, it's about Laughing with someone.

So thank you for Laughing with me.

And I will leave you with A word of advice; never

Trust a man in a Wheelchair whose shoes are

Worn out.

Think about that.

Alright guys thanks a Lot, appreciate it.

\ woo, we love you Preston!

I can't believe You thought that red dot

Was a painting.

Well I can't Believe that it wasn't a

Painting, that's all There was to it, you know.

Don't look so Surprised marcel, this has

Been quite the Artistic collaboration.

I've been at it all Afternoon but I think I

Finally nailed it.

Well I'm really Impressed that you've

Taken up this hobby.

Yeah, I know, yeah.

It's like...It's so freeing And it's like I finally

Have a canvass for my...For My...My deepest emotions.

Hey, you know, I'm Gonna send you a picture.

There we go.

Alright, it's coming now.

Did you get it.

Yeah, I got it.

So how much do you Think I can get for it?

Amanda?

Collectible items Such as jewelry, antiques

And sports memorabilia have

Turned into investment Opportunities over the

Years.

Art is another one.

It's a multi-billion Dollar industry that has

Given rise to scammers Who sell forged and

Counterfeit art prints.

They market their wares As signed, limited edition

Prints and sell them on Internet auction sites, at

Galleries, art shows And even on cruise ships.

As with any Investment it's important

To do your homework.

Ask for a certificate of Authenticity and a history

Of where the Print was obtained.

Don't feel pressured To make a purchase.

It's your money, be smart About how you spend it.