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1
00:00:28,395 --> 00:00:30,033
Good morning.
2
00:00:30,163 --> 00:00:31,107
Wow.
3
00:00:31,231 --> 00:00:33,211
Fresh fruit, fresh pastries,
4
00:00:33,333 --> 00:00:34,437
fresh coffee.
5
00:00:34,568 --> 00:00:36,809
What do you want?
6
00:00:36,937 --> 00:00:39,042
Nothing.
When you come into the diner,
7
00:00:39,172 --> 00:00:40,674
I have to serve
all those other people.
8
00:00:40,807 --> 00:00:41,945
I just thought today
9
00:00:42,075 --> 00:00:43,645
I'd do something special
just for you.
10
00:00:43,777 --> 00:00:45,256
Yeah, I'm touched.
11
00:00:45,379 --> 00:00:47,154
What do you want?
12
00:00:47,281 --> 00:00:48,419
Well...
13
00:00:48,549 --> 00:00:50,586
Yeah, here we go.
14
00:00:50,717 --> 00:00:51,957
Come on.
15
00:00:52,085 --> 00:00:53,689
Well, you know,
Thanksgiving's coming up and...
16
00:00:53,820 --> 00:00:55,731
Eh-eh-eh-eh-eh-eh,
hold it right there.
17
00:00:55,856 --> 00:00:57,028
Now, we had a deal.
18
00:00:57,157 --> 00:00:59,831
No holidays, no parents,
no celebrations.
19
00:00:59,960 --> 00:01:02,236
Yeah, yeah, no joy of any kind,
but I just thought that...
20
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:04,239
No, no, no "thought."
21
00:01:04,364 --> 00:01:05,502
What'd you think you could do?
22
00:01:05,632 --> 00:01:07,578
You know, hypnotize me
with this fancy breakfast
23
00:01:07,701 --> 00:01:09,305
into changing my mind?
24
00:01:09,436 --> 00:01:11,677
I wasn't born yesterday,
you know.
25
00:01:13,140 --> 00:01:18,385
Oh... my God, it's like
a flaky, buttery heart attack.
26
00:01:18,512 --> 00:01:21,823
John, one of my suppliers
gave me a free turkey,
27
00:01:21,949 --> 00:01:23,986
and it's just going to go bad
if I don't cook it.
28
00:01:24,117 --> 00:01:25,221
It's Thanksgiving.
29
00:01:25,352 --> 00:01:26,353
We're together
for the first time.
30
00:01:26,486 --> 00:01:27,658
Let's... let's celebrate that.
31
00:01:27,788 --> 00:01:29,028
L-I planned to, you know.
32
00:01:29,156 --> 00:01:30,658
I gave this some thought.
33
00:01:30,791 --> 00:01:32,828
I got us reservations at IHOP.
34
00:01:32,960 --> 00:01:36,635
And there'll be two of us,
so we might even get a booth.
35
00:01:36,763 --> 00:01:38,970
You don't even have
to leave your apartment.
36
00:01:39,099 --> 00:01:40,271
I'll bring everything down here.
37
00:01:40,400 --> 00:01:41,708
I'll cook. I'll clean up.
38
00:01:41,835 --> 00:01:44,907
All you have to do is eat,
watch football and burp.
39
00:01:46,073 --> 00:01:46,949
All right.
40
00:01:47,074 --> 00:01:48,712
Let me get this straight:
41
00:01:48,842 --> 00:01:50,753
- You'll cook the free turkey?
-Mm-hmm.
42
00:01:50,877 --> 00:01:52,754
You'll clean up the free turkey?
43
00:01:52,879 --> 00:01:55,917
And all I have to do
is eat the free turkey?
44
00:01:56,049 --> 00:01:59,394
Anything about that
appeal to you?
45
00:01:59,519 --> 00:02:03,126
All right, I'm not saying yes,
but...
46
00:02:03,256 --> 00:02:05,258
I'm thinking about it.
47
00:02:05,392 --> 00:02:07,303
Holy crap.
48
00:02:07,427 --> 00:02:09,373
Sticky buns. Oh, gee.
49
00:02:10,697 --> 00:02:12,506
Oh, these are so bad for you.
50
00:02:23,710 --> 00:02:25,121
Oh, you got to be kidding.
51
00:02:25,245 --> 00:02:27,418
You're putting up
Thanksgiving decorations?
52
00:02:27,547 --> 00:02:29,026
I mean, look around you.
53
00:02:29,149 --> 00:02:31,026
Exactly what are you
thankful for?
54
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,789
That I have you in my life.
55
00:02:32,919 --> 00:02:35,365
Oh, well, okay, then.
56
00:02:36,390 --> 00:02:37,596
He knows you're kidding, right?
57
00:02:37,724 --> 00:02:40,102
Sometimes yes, sometimes no.
58
00:02:40,227 --> 00:02:42,229
So, what are your holiday plans?
59
00:02:42,362 --> 00:02:43,238
I don't know.
60
00:02:43,363 --> 00:02:44,341
Last year, I spent it
61
00:02:44,464 --> 00:02:46,375
with my grandmother
and my girlfriend.
62
00:02:46,500 --> 00:02:48,673
Now one's dead,
and the other's a lying slut
63
00:02:48,802 --> 00:02:51,043
who tore my heart
into a million pieces.
64
00:02:52,239 --> 00:02:54,879
The slut would be
my ex-girlfriend.
65
00:02:55,008 --> 00:02:56,453
Aw, you're really
going to be all alone?
66
00:02:56,576 --> 00:02:58,578
I don't know.
67
00:02:59,913 --> 00:03:02,086
I could go to
the Braille Institute.
68
00:03:02,215 --> 00:03:06,061
They say they put out a lovely
spread, but who knows for sure?
69
00:03:07,587 --> 00:03:09,965
Or, if John would stop
waving his arms behind me,
70
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,933
maybe I could, uh...
71
00:03:12,059 --> 00:03:13,538
maybe I could spend it
with you two.
72
00:03:13,660 --> 00:03:14,798
- What are you guys doing?
-Nothing.
73
00:03:14,928 --> 00:03:16,464
I'm cooking dinner
at John's apartment.
74
00:03:16,596 --> 00:03:18,906
Liar. I'll be there.
75
00:03:19,032 --> 00:03:20,511
Now, I'm going to go
to my newsstand
76
00:03:20,634 --> 00:03:22,409
so that John can yell
at you in private.
77
00:03:22,536 --> 00:03:23,742
Yeah, thank you.
78
00:03:23,870 --> 00:03:25,611
This is how you keep a promise?
79
00:03:25,739 --> 00:03:27,013
Supposed to be
just the two of us.
80
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,585
Look, he's our friend.
He's having a hard time.
81
00:03:28,709 --> 00:03:30,120
You want him to spend
Thanksgiving alone
82
00:03:30,243 --> 00:03:31,813
with no one to talk to?
Would you like that?
83
00:03:31,945 --> 00:03:33,618
I'd kill for that.
84
00:03:33,747 --> 00:03:36,284
Hey, buddy, what are you doing
for Thanksgiving?
85
00:03:36,416 --> 00:03:37,827
Oh, spending it
with Chris and John.
86
00:03:37,951 --> 00:03:39,294
- Oh, yeah?
-Yeah.
87
00:03:39,419 --> 00:03:41,922
NO, no, no, no, no, no, no.
88
00:03:43,790 --> 00:03:46,134
So, you guys are having
Thanksgiving, huh?
89
00:03:46,259 --> 00:03:48,466
Oh, Hector,
you don't have any plans?
90
00:03:48,595 --> 00:03:51,405
Well, my brother invited me
over, but it's kind of a drag,
91
00:03:51,531 --> 00:03:53,135
especially since
a couple years ago,
92
00:03:53,266 --> 00:03:54,836
my sister-in-law
went veggie on us.
93
00:03:54,968 --> 00:03:56,504
Oh, you mean like she
makes tofu turkey?
94
00:03:56,636 --> 00:03:58,047
No, I mean like she got drunk
95
00:03:58,171 --> 00:04:00,447
and fell out of the stands
at a Jets game.
96
00:04:01,908 --> 00:04:03,785
She's in a special home
in Queens.
97
00:04:05,312 --> 00:04:07,053
I could change my plans
if you...
98
00:04:07,180 --> 00:04:08,386
No, no, no, no.
You know, actually...
99
00:04:08,515 --> 00:04:10,290
Nah, it's-it's-it's
Thanksgiving time.
100
00:04:10,417 --> 00:04:12,021
That-that's family time.
101
00:04:12,152 --> 00:04:13,859
Yeah, I guess.
102
00:04:13,987 --> 00:04:16,297
You know, if you feel like
stopping by after,
103
00:04:16,423 --> 00:04:17,629
you're-you're more than welcome.
104
00:04:17,758 --> 00:04:19,965
Yeah, but don't feel obligated,
you know.
105
00:04:20,093 --> 00:04:22,539
You know, you owe it
to your sister-in-law.
106
00:04:22,662 --> 00:04:25,165
I mean, somewhere inside,
she knows you're there.
107
00:04:25,298 --> 00:04:27,904
She doesn't even know
she's there.
108
00:04:29,936 --> 00:04:32,712
Ah, we may have dodged
a bullet on that one,
109
00:04:32,839 --> 00:04:34,147
but no more invitations.
110
00:04:34,274 --> 00:04:35,981
Just supposed to be
you, me and Jake.
111
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:37,452
Right.
112
00:04:37,577 --> 00:04:39,716
And my sister.
113
00:04:39,846 --> 00:04:41,382
Your... your what?
114
00:04:41,515 --> 00:04:42,926
Okay, look, my sister
Grace called.
115
00:04:43,049 --> 00:04:44,551
I haven't seen her
in a couple years.
116
00:04:44,684 --> 00:04:45,719
She's coming into town...
117
00:04:45,852 --> 00:04:46,853
You never told me
about a sister.
118
00:04:46,987 --> 00:04:48,227
Well, I'm telling you now.
119
00:04:48,355 --> 00:04:50,130
But you definitely never told me
about her coming to visit.
120
00:04:50,257 --> 00:04:51,395
Well, I'm telling you now.
121
00:04:51,525 --> 00:04:53,835
Well, great, you know.
When is she getting here?
122
00:04:53,960 --> 00:04:55,837
Well, actually... now.
123
00:04:55,962 --> 00:04:56,906
Piglet!
124
00:04:57,030 --> 00:04:58,031
Gracie!
125
00:04:58,165 --> 00:04:59,610
_°h 'Hi!
"W sod!
126
00:04:59,733 --> 00:05:00,609
How are you?
127
00:05:00,734 --> 00:05:01,940
It's so good to see you.
128
00:05:02,068 --> 00:05:03,604
- I missed you so much.
-Oh, you look great.
129
00:05:03,737 --> 00:05:05,808
Oh, it's good to see you.
130
00:05:05,939 --> 00:05:07,009
Oh! John...
131
00:05:07,140 --> 00:05:09,313
Uh, this is my sister Gracie.
This is John.
132
00:05:09,442 --> 00:05:10,648
- I told you all about him.
-Nice to meet you.
133
00:05:10,777 --> 00:05:11,721
How do you do?
Nice to meet you, too.
134
00:05:11,845 --> 00:05:12,880
"Piglet"?
135
00:05:13,013 --> 00:05:14,617
Nickname. Just sh-shut up.
136
00:05:14,748 --> 00:05:17,024
She told me you were a doctor,
but she never said
137
00:05:17,150 --> 00:05:18,993
you were so much better-looking
than her ex-husband.
138
00:05:19,119 --> 00:05:20,120
- Ah.
-You've certainly traded up.
139
00:05:20,253 --> 00:05:21,596
What a loser he was, huh?
140
00:05:21,721 --> 00:05:23,758
Okay, okay. You really want
to talk about past mistakes?
141
00:05:23,890 --> 00:05:25,801
- Okay, good point.
142
00:05:25,926 --> 00:05:26,996
Uh, and this is my friend, Jake.
143
00:05:27,127 --> 00:05:28,572
- He runs a newsstand.
-Hi. -Hi there, Jake.
144
00:05:28,695 --> 00:05:30,197
Nice to meet you.
And you are also
145
00:05:30,330 --> 00:05:31,536
much better-looking
than her ex-husband.
146
00:05:31,665 --> 00:05:34,043
Okay, okay, fine.
We got that sorted out.
147
00:05:34,167 --> 00:05:35,305
Great. How was your trip?
148
00:05:35,435 --> 00:05:36,880
Are you hungry?
Are you tired?
149
00:05:37,003 --> 00:05:38,949
- You look tired. Can I get
you something? -I'm, uh...
150
00:05:39,072 --> 00:05:41,211
- I'm fine, Mom. I'm fine.
- Yeah?
151
00:05:41,341 --> 00:05:43,446
I just thought maybe I could get
the keys to your apartment,
152
00:05:43,577 --> 00:05:45,648
-crash there till you get home.
-Okay. Yep.
153
00:05:45,779 --> 00:05:47,224
L-I hope you're joining us
for Thanksgiving.
154
00:05:47,347 --> 00:05:48,417
Are you kidding?
155
00:05:48,548 --> 00:05:50,391
I've been looking forward to it
for months.
156
00:05:50,517 --> 00:05:53,225
- Great. Now I don't have to sit
alone at the kids table. -Oh.
157
00:05:53,353 --> 00:05:56,061
Uh, ex-excuse me. "Months"?
158
00:05:56,189 --> 00:05:57,691
Can-can I talk to you
for a second?
159
00:05:57,824 --> 00:05:59,963
Actually, why don't you
walk me to my office.
160
00:06:00,093 --> 00:06:01,800
Uh, we, uh... can't we...
can't we just talk here?
161
00:06:01,928 --> 00:06:03,839
No, not in front of the kids.
162
00:06:08,268 --> 00:06:09,770
Spin this any way you want.
163
00:06:09,903 --> 00:06:11,075
You set me up, Piglet.
164
00:06:11,204 --> 00:06:13,309
Of course I did,
and don't call me that.
165
00:06:13,440 --> 00:06:14,680
It is not what you think.
166
00:06:14,808 --> 00:06:15,980
Oh, yeah? What is it, then?
167
00:06:16,109 --> 00:06:18,646
Okay, it is what you think.
168
00:06:18,778 --> 00:06:20,519
But I look good now,
and that's what counts.
169
00:06:20,647 --> 00:06:23,457
Oh... Can we get back
to your sister, please?
170
00:06:23,583 --> 00:06:24,459
All right, I couldn't tell you
171
00:06:24,584 --> 00:06:26,063
I wanted to cook
Thanksgiving dinner
172
00:06:26,186 --> 00:06:27,563
'cause she was coming.
You would have said "no."
173
00:06:27,687 --> 00:06:29,530
You're damn right I would have.
We had an agreement.
174
00:06:29,656 --> 00:06:31,693
Look, John,
Grace has always been
175
00:06:31,825 --> 00:06:33,270
a little flaky, but I love her.
176
00:06:33,393 --> 00:06:34,497
She's had some problems.
177
00:06:34,628 --> 00:06:36,835
She needs me to help her
get back on her feet.
178
00:06:36,963 --> 00:06:40,638
Come on, that's what shrinks
and alcohol are for. What...?
179
00:06:41,668 --> 00:06:43,204
All right, fine, fine.
180
00:06:43,336 --> 00:06:45,316
It'll be you, me,
Jake, maybe Hector,
181
00:06:45,438 --> 00:06:46,348
and now your sister.
182
00:06:46,473 --> 00:06:47,816
But I don't want
one more person.
183
00:06:47,941 --> 00:06:50,512
What the hell are you doing
with that camera?
184
00:06:50,644 --> 00:06:52,681
My parents gave it to me.
185
00:06:52,812 --> 00:06:54,587
We're not gonna be together
for Thanksgiving
186
00:06:54,714 --> 00:06:56,022
'cause they're going
on a cruise.
187
00:06:56,149 --> 00:06:57,492
Okay, it's not a cruise.
188
00:06:57,617 --> 00:06:58,857
That's just what
they tell people
189
00:06:58,985 --> 00:07:00,157
when they're going into rehab.
190
00:07:00,287 --> 00:07:01,857
Okay...
191
00:07:01,988 --> 00:07:05,492
They sent me this so I can show
them what I did for the holiday.
192
00:07:05,625 --> 00:07:07,627
Now alls I need
is something to do.
193
00:07:09,429 --> 00:07:10,806
What are you guys doing?
194
00:07:10,931 --> 00:07:12,376
Uh, actually, uh...
195
00:07:12,499 --> 00:07:14,376
What did we just talk about?
196
00:07:14,501 --> 00:07:15,980
Play back that tape, Linda.
197
00:07:16,102 --> 00:07:17,376
I don't know how to do that yet.
198
00:07:17,504 --> 00:07:19,381
Oh, John, stop fighting it.
199
00:07:19,506 --> 00:07:20,541
Linda, we'd love to have you
for Thanksgiving.
200
00:07:20,674 --> 00:07:21,846
Oh, no.
201
00:07:21,975 --> 00:07:23,648
Oh, so you're doing
Thanksgiving?
202
00:07:23,777 --> 00:07:25,222
Can Lewis and I come?
203
00:07:25,345 --> 00:07:26,653
No. No way. Absolutely not.
204
00:07:26,780 --> 00:07:28,691
I hate Lewis. Lewis hates me.
205
00:07:28,815 --> 00:07:30,624
So, you'll have
something in common.
206
00:07:31,952 --> 00:07:33,397
Besides, we have
nowhere else to go,
207
00:07:33,520 --> 00:07:35,522
and I don't want to cook,
so just suck it up.
208
00:07:36,690 --> 00:07:38,067
I'll let you know
what you can bring.
209
00:07:38,191 --> 00:07:39,067
Okay...
210
00:07:39,192 --> 00:07:41,536
Get that thing out of my face!
211
00:07:41,661 --> 00:07:43,572
I don't know why people
wait until Christmas
212
00:07:43,697 --> 00:07:45,040
to kill themselves.
213
00:07:49,602 --> 00:07:52,811
Mr. O'Neal,
all right, it says...
214
00:07:52,939 --> 00:07:54,680
"work-related accident."
What happened?
215
00:07:54,808 --> 00:07:56,913
We were
inflating the giant balloons
216
00:07:57,043 --> 00:07:58,613
for the Thanksgiving Day
Parade...
217
00:07:58,745 --> 00:08:01,351
What did you do,
swallow the whole helium tank?
218
00:08:01,481 --> 00:08:03,324
Don't... don't worry,
the effects are temporary.
219
00:08:03,450 --> 00:08:05,157
You're not going to have
to go through life
220
00:08:05,285 --> 00:08:07,424
with that stupid chipmunk voice.
221
00:08:08,455 --> 00:08:10,298
This is my normal voice.
222
00:08:12,058 --> 00:08:13,628
The tank fell off the truck.
223
00:08:13,760 --> 00:08:15,603
I think it broke my toe.
224
00:08:15,729 --> 00:08:18,369
Oh, yeah.
225
00:08:18,498 --> 00:08:20,341
It says that right here.
226
00:08:20,467 --> 00:08:22,811
Maybe I should read
these things first.
227
00:08:22,936 --> 00:08:25,576
Yeah, maybe you should.
228
00:08:35,081 --> 00:08:37,960
Okay, okay, you can open
your eyes. We're here.
229
00:08:38,084 --> 00:08:39,586
Oh, my God,
you should have seen
230
00:08:39,719 --> 00:08:41,289
the look
on those people's faces!
231
00:08:41,421 --> 00:08:43,992
I was showing Grace
how to be blind.
232
00:08:44,124 --> 00:08:45,432
Yeah. He gave me
these dark glasses
233
00:08:45,558 --> 00:08:46,901
and taught me how
to use the cane,
234
00:08:47,027 --> 00:08:48,165
and I got so good at it,
235
00:08:48,294 --> 00:08:50,399
people thought they were staring
at two blind people.
236
00:08:50,530 --> 00:08:54,307
It was literally the blind
leading the blind!
237
00:08:54,434 --> 00:08:57,608
Looks like you-know-who
hooked up with...
238
00:08:57,737 --> 00:08:59,546
I-don't-know-who.
239
00:08:59,672 --> 00:09:01,049
Um, that's my sister.
240
00:09:01,174 --> 00:09:02,778
Uh, Grace, this
is Margaret and Linda.
241
00:09:02,909 --> 00:09:04,650
They'll be joining us
for Thanksgiving.
242
00:09:04,778 --> 00:09:05,654
- Hello.
- Hi!
243
00:09:05,779 --> 00:09:07,156
We just came by
to grab the paper.
244
00:09:07,280 --> 00:09:08,452
Yeah, Jake's gonna take me
to see a movie.
245
00:09:08,581 --> 00:09:09,616
- Yep.
-Oh, okay.
246
00:09:09,749 --> 00:09:11,160
- Okay? Thanks. Bye.
-Well, have fun. Yeah.
247
00:09:11,284 --> 00:09:12,354
- Enjoy yourselves.
-Bye.
248
00:09:12,485 --> 00:09:14,431
Bye. See you.
249
00:09:15,622 --> 00:09:17,431
Oh, this is not good.
250
00:09:17,557 --> 00:09:18,729
She just got here yesterday,
251
00:09:18,858 --> 00:09:20,599
and she's been with him
practically ever since.
252
00:09:20,727 --> 00:09:21,865
So, they hit it off.
253
00:09:21,995 --> 00:09:23,167
- What's the big deal?
- No, no.
254
00:09:23,296 --> 00:09:25,867
Well, Grace has kind of
a weird history with men.
255
00:09:25,999 --> 00:09:27,979
I just... I just don't
want Jake to get hurt.
256
00:09:28,101 --> 00:09:29,512
What are you talking about?
257
00:09:30,537 --> 00:09:32,073
You know what? It's nothing.
258
00:09:32,205 --> 00:09:33,513
Just forget I mentioned it.
259
00:09:33,640 --> 00:09:35,517
Ah-ah-ah-ah-ah.
"A weird history"?
260
00:09:35,642 --> 00:09:37,781
No, you can't leave us
hanging like that.
261
00:09:37,911 --> 00:09:39,413
Yeah. This just got good.
262
00:09:39,546 --> 00:09:40,991
What's wrong with her?
263
00:09:41,114 --> 00:09:43,526
I'm sorry. I-l promised Grace
I wouldn't say anything.
264
00:09:43,650 --> 00:09:44,890
The past is the past.
265
00:09:45,018 --> 00:09:46,190
Just, uh, let's drop it.
266
00:09:46,319 --> 00:09:48,390
Oh, great.
I wasn't even interested.
267
00:09:48,521 --> 00:09:50,125
Now I have to know.
268
00:09:50,256 --> 00:09:51,735
Wait.
269
00:09:51,858 --> 00:09:53,895
Let me get your good side.
270
00:09:55,495 --> 00:09:58,704
Okay... go ahead.
271
00:09:58,832 --> 00:10:02,746
All right. But you got to
promise not to say anything.
272
00:10:02,869 --> 00:10:05,713
- Sure.
-Keep talking.
273
00:10:05,839 --> 00:10:10,754
I haven't seen my sister
in a while because she was...
274
00:10:10,877 --> 00:10:13,380
well, sort of...
275
00:10:13,513 --> 00:10:15,515
a little bit... in prison.
276
00:10:15,648 --> 00:10:17,218
- Oh, my God.
-What?
277
00:10:17,350 --> 00:10:18,886
Your sister was in jail?
278
00:10:19,018 --> 00:10:22,556
In prison. Jail's where they
hold you before the trial.
279
00:10:22,689 --> 00:10:24,066
What the hell'd she do?
280
00:10:24,190 --> 00:10:25,999
Oh, relax. It's not like
she killed someone.
281
00:10:26,126 --> 00:10:27,104
So what was she in for?
282
00:10:27,227 --> 00:10:28,968
Trying to kill someone.
283
00:10:30,597 --> 00:10:33,339
Mom, Dad, I bet
I look pretty good now.
284
00:10:41,441 --> 00:10:43,250
Attempted murder?
285
00:10:43,376 --> 00:10:46,289
Look, look, it's not
as bad as it sounds.
286
00:10:46,412 --> 00:10:48,585
She just kind of tried to...
287
00:10:48,715 --> 00:10:50,251
stab her husband.
288
00:10:50,383 --> 00:10:51,418
Why?
289
00:10:51,551 --> 00:10:52,859
It's a long story.
290
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,863
I'll put in another tape.
291
00:10:57,991 --> 00:11:00,096
Gra-Grace has always had
this problem with anger.
292
00:11:00,226 --> 00:11:01,330
When-when she was five,
293
00:11:01,461 --> 00:11:03,236
some boy wouldn't get
on the see-saw with her,
294
00:11:03,363 --> 00:11:05,934
so she snapped the heads
off all his G.l. Joes.
295
00:11:06,065 --> 00:11:08,136
Chris, the stabbing?
296
00:11:08,268 --> 00:11:09,406
Yeah, yeah, I'm getting to that.
297
00:11:09,536 --> 00:11:11,277
And then when she was older
and started dating,
298
00:11:11,404 --> 00:11:14,112
she went from G.l. Joes
to keying this one guy's car...
299
00:11:14,240 --> 00:11:15,776
Chris, the stabbing!
300
00:11:15,909 --> 00:11:18,321
Okay, okay, I'll skip
to the stabbing part.
301
00:11:18,444 --> 00:11:19,388
I'm ready now.
302
00:11:19,512 --> 00:11:20,923
Could you take it again
from the top?
303
00:11:21,047 --> 00:11:22,993
No!
304
00:11:23,116 --> 00:11:24,823
Anyway, this one Thanksgiving,
305
00:11:24,951 --> 00:11:27,557
she and her then-husband
were having a fight.
306
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:30,634
She wheeled around with the
electric carving knife, and...
307
00:11:30,757 --> 00:11:35,365
let's just say
he lost his pinky ring...
308
00:11:35,495 --> 00:11:37,304
and his pinky.
309
00:11:38,831 --> 00:11:43,337
Ah! Maybe we should be with
Lewis's mother for the holiday.
310
00:11:43,469 --> 00:11:45,312
- Take me with you.
- No, no, no, no, no.
311
00:11:45,438 --> 00:11:46,416
Wait, wait, wait, you guys.
312
00:11:46,539 --> 00:11:47,643
You have to come.
313
00:11:47,774 --> 00:11:49,219
I mean, this was
a one-time thing.
314
00:11:49,342 --> 00:11:50,946
She-she's really not like that.
315
00:11:51,077 --> 00:11:54,286
What she-she needs now is to be
with family and friends.
316
00:11:54,414 --> 00:11:55,518
Come on.
317
00:11:57,917 --> 00:11:59,362
- Okay.
-Fine.
318
00:11:59,485 --> 00:12:02,432
So... so let me recap.
319
00:12:02,555 --> 00:12:07,504
I could've been at IHOP,
having my turkey and pancakes,
320
00:12:07,627 --> 00:12:10,437
but instead I'm going to be
hosting Thanksgiving dinner
321
00:12:10,563 --> 00:12:13,100
at my place
with a homicidal ex-con
322
00:12:13,233 --> 00:12:16,942
who may or may not kill
my best friend!
323
00:12:18,304 --> 00:12:21,114
Well, if you put it like that,
of course it sounds bad.
324
00:12:27,547 --> 00:12:29,026
Okay, you owe me big-time.
325
00:12:29,148 --> 00:12:30,718
I went to ten different stores,
326
00:12:30,850 --> 00:12:32,830
and not one of them had
whipping cream.
327
00:12:32,952 --> 00:12:34,022
So, what'd they have?
328
00:12:34,153 --> 00:12:36,155
Beer. You want one?
329
00:12:37,590 --> 00:12:39,092
I've already had two.
330
00:12:39,225 --> 00:12:41,034
Since when do you drink
so much?
331
00:12:41,160 --> 00:12:44,471
Since Lizzie Borden
showed up for Thanksgiving.
332
00:12:47,734 --> 00:12:49,077
So, have you heard from Jake?
333
00:12:49,202 --> 00:12:51,409
Or the coroner's office?
334
00:12:51,537 --> 00:12:53,915
Oh, stop it. He called.
They're on their way.
335
00:12:54,040 --> 00:12:55,018
Everything's fine.
336
00:12:55,141 --> 00:12:56,814
For now.
337
00:12:56,943 --> 00:12:58,945
Are you sure you set
this table right?
338
00:12:59,078 --> 00:13:02,252
Isn't it forks on the left,
shivs on the right?
339
00:13:02,382 --> 00:13:04,020
This is why
I don't tell you things.
340
00:13:04,150 --> 00:13:06,460
Look, I feel guilty enough
as it is that I said anything.
341
00:13:06,586 --> 00:13:08,190
I just...
I want to help my sister
342
00:13:08,321 --> 00:13:10,267
get her life back together,
so stop making jokes,
343
00:13:10,390 --> 00:13:12,529
or I swear I'll cut you
like a wheel of Brie.
344
00:13:14,360 --> 00:13:16,237
Obviously runs in the family.
345
00:13:17,764 --> 00:13:19,209
- Oh, hi, John.
-Mm.
346
00:13:19,332 --> 00:13:20,436
Uh, is the sister here yet?
347
00:13:20,566 --> 00:13:21,442
No.
348
00:13:21,567 --> 00:13:24,241
Do you think
this is a good idea?
349
00:13:24,370 --> 00:13:25,644
Yeah, I'm not sure.
350
00:13:25,772 --> 00:13:27,274
But as long as we
don't piss her off,
351
00:13:27,407 --> 00:13:28,943
I think we'll be all right.
352
00:13:29,075 --> 00:13:30,315
Uh, do you have a hair dryer?
353
00:13:30,443 --> 00:13:32,081
I have to dry out Lewis's pants.
354
00:13:32,211 --> 00:13:33,747
Why isn't he in them?
355
00:13:33,880 --> 00:13:36,486
Well, he was sitting
on your bed watching football,
356
00:13:36,616 --> 00:13:38,061
and he spilled a beer.
357
00:13:38,184 --> 00:13:39,390
He's sitting on my bed
358
00:13:39,519 --> 00:13:41,465
watching football
in his underwear?
359
00:13:41,587 --> 00:13:44,329
No, he's naked. It-it soaked
all the way through.
360
00:13:45,525 --> 00:13:47,402
- Hair dryer?
-Bathroom.
361
00:13:52,832 --> 00:13:54,903
Hey.
362
00:13:55,034 --> 00:13:59,278
Mom, Dad, I just walked
into Dr. Becker's apartment.
363
00:13:59,405 --> 00:14:01,715
If anything bad
happens here today,
364
00:14:01,841 --> 00:14:05,311
I love you both very much.
365
00:14:05,445 --> 00:14:07,186
Oh, and when I was 14,
366
00:14:07,313 --> 00:14:09,520
I stole Mom's diamond bracelet
to buy dope.
367
00:14:09,649 --> 00:14:13,028
But in my defense,
it was really good dope.
368
00:14:13,152 --> 00:14:15,223
Linda, relax.
369
00:14:15,355 --> 00:14:17,892
I told you, Grace made one
little mistake years ago.
370
00:14:18,024 --> 00:14:20,630
Yeah, one little
pinky-sized mistake.
371
00:14:20,760 --> 00:14:24,071
Does Jake need all his fingers
to read Braille?
372
00:14:24,197 --> 00:14:25,267
Stop it, both of you.
373
00:14:25,398 --> 00:14:26,775
John, you want to open the door?
374
00:14:26,899 --> 00:14:28,207
It's getting a little warm
in here.
375
00:14:28,334 --> 00:14:29,972
They just went to a movie.
376
00:14:30,103 --> 00:14:31,639
I'd hardly call that
a relationship.
377
00:14:35,375 --> 00:14:37,787
Yeah, well, unless his tongue's
an hors d'oeuvre,
378
00:14:37,910 --> 00:14:39,787
I'd call that a relationship.
379
00:14:46,786 --> 00:14:49,096
Lewis, get your pants on!
380
00:14:49,222 --> 00:14:51,634
We're eating!
381
00:14:51,758 --> 00:14:53,738
- Who wants more white meat?
-Mmm.
382
00:14:53,860 --> 00:14:55,134
I'll carve.
383
00:14:55,261 --> 00:14:57,468
No, I'll-I'll get that.
384
00:14:57,597 --> 00:14:59,235
Don't be silly.
I've got it. I'm right here.
385
00:15:06,339 --> 00:15:08,512
- Here you go.
-Ah, thank you.
386
00:15:08,641 --> 00:15:11,315
- Oh, yeah.
-Thank you.
387
00:15:11,444 --> 00:15:13,822
Chris, the turkey
is delicious.
388
00:15:13,946 --> 00:15:14,856
Oh, thank you.
389
00:15:14,981 --> 00:15:15,891
Isn't the turkey delicious?
390
00:15:16,015 --> 00:15:17,619
Yes, no, it is delicious.
391
00:15:17,750 --> 00:15:19,627
- Very delicious.
-Really delicious.
392
00:15:20,620 --> 00:15:22,827
Chris, thank you again
for setting this all up.
393
00:15:22,955 --> 00:15:24,628
Yes, it was a good thing.
394
00:15:24,757 --> 00:15:26,361
- Wasn't it a good thing?
-It's a good thing.
395
00:15:26,492 --> 00:15:28,529
A very good thing.
396
00:15:28,661 --> 00:15:31,574
Uh, Jake, could you pass me
the salt, please?
397
00:15:31,697 --> 00:15:32,675
- For what?
-My stuffing.
398
00:15:32,799 --> 00:15:33,903
I need it for my stuffing.
399
00:15:34,033 --> 00:15:35,569
Did you taste it?
I think it tastes fine.
400
00:15:35,701 --> 00:15:37,339
Oh, yeah, but I like
to put salt on everything.
401
00:15:37,470 --> 00:15:38,847
You know, you really shouldn't
put salt on everything.
402
00:15:38,971 --> 00:15:41,076
- Pass the salt!
-Pass her the salt!
403
00:15:41,207 --> 00:15:43,084
All right, all right,
all right, all right!
404
00:15:43,209 --> 00:15:46,190
Stop it.
405
00:15:49,382 --> 00:15:50,952
Is, uh... is something wrong?
406
00:15:51,083 --> 00:15:52,585
- Mm-mm. No.
-Mm! Nothing's wrong.
407
00:15:52,718 --> 00:15:54,197
Everything's fine.
408
00:15:54,320 --> 00:15:56,095
You told them, didn't you?
409
00:15:56,222 --> 00:15:57,257
Told them what?
410
00:15:57,390 --> 00:16:01,031
It, uh... it-it came up
in conversation.
411
00:16:01,160 --> 00:16:02,036
Oh, really, really?
412
00:16:02,161 --> 00:16:03,105
And exactly how did that happen?
413
00:16:03,229 --> 00:16:04,105
How did what happen?
414
00:16:04,230 --> 00:16:06,437
You're making her mad.
415
00:16:08,334 --> 00:16:11,315
I specifically asked you
not to say anything,
416
00:16:11,437 --> 00:16:13,417
but you just couldn't resist
making me look bad
417
00:16:13,539 --> 00:16:14,882
in front of all your friends,
right?
418
00:16:15,007 --> 00:16:17,214
- You know what? I'm leaving.
-What?
419
00:16:17,343 --> 00:16:18,720
Wait, wait. Where are you going?
420
00:16:18,845 --> 00:16:20,324
I'm going upstairs to pack.
421
00:16:20,446 --> 00:16:22,949
I was going to wait
and tell you later, but...
422
00:16:23,082 --> 00:16:24,720
I'm moving in with Jake.
423
00:16:24,851 --> 00:16:26,194
- Oh, boy.
-Oh!
424
00:16:26,319 --> 00:16:28,265
I don't believe it!
You-you just met him.
425
00:16:28,387 --> 00:16:30,560
I know, isn't it great?
We just hit it off!
426
00:16:31,958 --> 00:16:34,029
What, no congratulations?
427
00:16:34,160 --> 00:16:36,902
Oh, please, from her?
All she does is criticize.
428
00:16:37,029 --> 00:16:38,269
Criticize?
429
00:16:38,397 --> 00:16:40,399
No, no, no.
Don't you make this my problem.
430
00:16:40,533 --> 00:16:42,012
Your whole life,
you've done nothing
431
00:16:42,134 --> 00:16:43,112
but sponge off other people.
432
00:16:43,236 --> 00:16:44,374
- Easy, easy!
-No, no, no, calm...
433
00:16:44,504 --> 00:16:46,711
No, no, no, no, no, no, no,
she needs to hear this.
434
00:16:46,839 --> 00:16:49,445
I mean, first, Mom and Dad,
then one guy after another.
435
00:16:49,575 --> 00:16:51,486
L-I thought maybe
you'd finally grown up,
436
00:16:51,611 --> 00:16:52,885
but obviously I was wrong.
437
00:16:53,012 --> 00:16:54,787
What is your problem?!
438
00:16:54,914 --> 00:16:56,257
We're not getting married.
439
00:16:56,382 --> 00:16:58,362
I'm just gonna stay with him
till I get back on my feet.
440
00:16:58,484 --> 00:16:59,622
Uh-huh? To get on your feet,
441
00:16:59,752 --> 00:17:01,163
first you'd have
to get off your back.
442
00:17:01,287 --> 00:17:02,265
Oh!
443
00:17:02,388 --> 00:17:03,992
You know, you always
know what to say
444
00:17:04,123 --> 00:17:05,796
to really piss me off.
445
00:17:05,925 --> 00:17:07,768
You know, I don't think
we need these knives.
446
00:17:07,894 --> 00:17:09,237
Pass 'em on down.
447
00:17:10,863 --> 00:17:13,537
I mean, when are you going
to stop relying on other people
448
00:17:13,666 --> 00:17:15,304
and start doing things
for yourself?
449
00:17:15,434 --> 00:17:16,936
You sound just like my husband.
450
00:17:17,069 --> 00:17:18,343
- Husband?
-Ex-husband.
451
00:17:18,471 --> 00:17:20,849
Oh, you know what?
We don't need these forks.
452
00:17:22,408 --> 00:17:23,751
I mean, grow up already.
453
00:17:23,876 --> 00:17:25,184
You've never had a job.
454
00:17:25,311 --> 00:17:26,881
You've never had
your own apartment.
455
00:17:27,013 --> 00:17:29,289
You're like a child!
A spoiled little child!
456
00:17:29,415 --> 00:17:31,861
Who are you to lecture me
on what to do with my life?
457
00:17:31,984 --> 00:17:34,760
I mean, you run a crappy diner
that even I wouldn't eat in.
458
00:17:34,887 --> 00:17:36,889
Oh, that hurts, that hurts,
considering the fact
459
00:17:37,023 --> 00:17:39,367
that your last meal
was in the prison cafeteria.
460
00:17:39,492 --> 00:17:40,527
Prison?
461
00:17:40,660 --> 00:17:42,071
You know, I paid my debt
to society.
462
00:17:42,194 --> 00:17:43,867
I didn't know I had to pay it
to you, too.
463
00:17:43,996 --> 00:17:45,907
You know, you know, the pilgrims
ate with their hands.
464
00:17:46,032 --> 00:17:47,477
Let me...
465
00:17:48,734 --> 00:17:50,907
Do you know how embarrassing
it is to tell people
466
00:17:51,037 --> 00:17:53,039
your sister is in jail
for attempted murder?
467
00:17:53,172 --> 00:17:56,381
- Murder?
- Attempted murder.
468
00:17:56,509 --> 00:17:59,251
Gracie, I have spent
my whole life covering for you,
469
00:17:59,378 --> 00:18:01,221
helping you,
making excuses for you,
470
00:18:01,347 --> 00:18:02,291
but you know what?
471
00:18:02,415 --> 00:18:03,485
I am done!
472
00:18:03,616 --> 00:18:04,890
Well, you know what?
473
00:18:05,017 --> 00:18:06,997
That's fine, because
I don't need you, anyway.
474
00:18:07,119 --> 00:18:08,359
Let's go, Jake.
475
00:18:09,722 --> 00:18:11,998
Jake?
476
00:18:12,124 --> 00:18:14,161
Perfect.
477
00:18:14,293 --> 00:18:15,772
Now look what you've done.
478
00:18:15,895 --> 00:18:18,375
You've completely ruined
my relationship.
479
00:18:18,497 --> 00:18:20,602
Wait, relationship?
What, I-l cooked the turkey
480
00:18:20,733 --> 00:18:22,303
longer than the two of you
were together.
481
00:18:22,435 --> 00:18:26,212
You know what? I don't even know
why I came to see you, honestly.
482
00:18:26,339 --> 00:18:27,909
I mean, I had this
idiotic notion
483
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:29,678
that it might be good
484
00:18:29,809 --> 00:18:32,119
to be with your family
on Thanksgiving.
485
00:18:38,551 --> 00:18:40,963
So, should we all
go around the table
486
00:18:41,087 --> 00:18:43,192
and say what
we're thankful for?
487
00:18:52,999 --> 00:18:54,637
Oh, thank you for coming.
488
00:18:54,767 --> 00:18:56,838
Oh! Sorry to put you
in the middle of
489
00:18:56,969 --> 00:18:58,812
my little family drama.
490
00:18:58,938 --> 00:19:00,815
You know, seeing you
and Grace together
491
00:19:00,940 --> 00:19:02,977
made me wish
I had a sister, too.
492
00:19:03,109 --> 00:19:04,747
You're drunk, aren't you?
493
00:19:04,877 --> 00:19:06,652
Severely.
494
00:19:06,779 --> 00:19:09,020
Don't worry. We'll get her home.
495
00:19:09,148 --> 00:19:10,092
Good night.
496
00:19:10,216 --> 00:19:11,217
- Good night.
-Night.
497
00:19:15,021 --> 00:19:18,127
Well... are you particularly
fond of these dishes?
498
00:19:18,257 --> 00:19:21,363
Because I'm thinking
of just throwing 'em all out.
499
00:19:21,494 --> 00:19:24,031
They've been in my family
for years.
500
00:19:24,163 --> 00:19:25,699
Toss 'em.
501
00:19:31,037 --> 00:19:32,710
--Oh!
502
00:19:32,838 --> 00:19:34,818
Can you get that, please?
503
00:19:34,940 --> 00:19:36,647
Nope.
504
00:19:46,719 --> 00:19:47,754
Hi.
505
00:19:47,887 --> 00:19:49,389
Oh, hi.
506
00:19:51,657 --> 00:19:53,603
That's all I had.
507
00:19:54,994 --> 00:19:56,439
"We're-we're sisters.
508
00:19:56,562 --> 00:19:58,439
"We shouldn't be fighting
on Thanksgiving.
509
00:19:58,564 --> 00:19:59,872
Family's too important."
510
00:19:59,999 --> 00:20:02,070
Come on. Do I have
to do this all myself?
511
00:20:04,970 --> 00:20:08,941
Gracie, I-l am
really sorry if I hurt you.
512
00:20:09,075 --> 00:20:12,079
No, no. Look, what you said
to me tonight
513
00:20:12,211 --> 00:20:15,158
isn't anything I haven't
already heard from Mom, Dad,
514
00:20:15,281 --> 00:20:16,954
that judge, Carol...
515
00:20:17,083 --> 00:20:18,892
- Carol?
-My cell mate.
516
00:20:19,018 --> 00:20:21,225
She was serving five to ten
for arson,
517
00:20:21,353 --> 00:20:23,799
but what a great judge
of character, though.
518
00:20:25,224 --> 00:20:28,569
The point is I need to, uh,
make some changes.
519
00:20:28,694 --> 00:20:30,071
And it's about time
520
00:20:30,196 --> 00:20:32,107
I started taking control
of my own life
521
00:20:32,231 --> 00:20:34,336
and stopped relying
on other people.
522
00:20:34,467 --> 00:20:36,469
Mm. So you're moving
back in with Mom and Dad?
523
00:20:36,602 --> 00:20:37,945
Yeah, yeah.
524
00:20:38,070 --> 00:20:39,481
But you know how that is.
525
00:20:39,605 --> 00:20:41,676
After a couple weeks,
I'm usually ready to kill 'em.
526
00:20:41,807 --> 00:20:44,048
- But...
- You know what I mean.
527
00:20:47,513 --> 00:20:49,823
I'm going to go upstairs
and finish packing.
528
00:20:49,949 --> 00:20:51,019
I'll be up soon.
529
00:20:51,150 --> 00:20:52,720
We can talk some more.
530
00:20:52,852 --> 00:20:54,923
Yeah, that'd be great.
531
00:20:59,258 --> 00:21:00,737
Thank you.
532
00:21:07,500 --> 00:21:09,036
Even though it didn't
start out that well,
533
00:21:09,168 --> 00:21:11,239
it-it turned out to be
a pretty good Thanksgiving.
534
00:21:11,370 --> 00:21:14,044
I'm, uh... I'm glad I did this.
535
00:21:14,173 --> 00:21:15,914
Next year MOP'?
536
00:21:16,041 --> 00:21:18,385
Oh, yeah.
38755
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