Original subtitles

-[wings flapping] -[raven caws]

Ooh! A Raven Gram from the Vampire Council!

Thanks, Simone!

Tell your ma I said "caw caw!"

The Vampire Council thinks something happened to the gargoyle,

since he never reported back to them.

[gasps] Uh-oh!

They're sending Councilman Eugene here to collect him.

Think they'll notice Stoney got a little banged up?

Only if they have eyes.

We never figured out where this red stone goes.

I wish he could still talk. He could tell us.

It's good he can't.

He knows way too many of your secrets.

I don't have that many secrets.

Sophie and Elijah know you're a vampire,

there's multiple Van Helsings at the school,

and you also happen to have a big crush on--

Demi!

That's a secret

[softly] To no one.

Well, the most important thing

is that the Vampire Council doesn't find out I'm fritzing,

or else they'd make me go back to Transylvania.

At least you're seeing Dr. Lugosi today.

"Doctor to the monster-stars."

You know, I ran into Bigfoot in the lobby once,

They should call him "Big Butt."

Hopefully she can cure my fritzing.

But I am so not looking forward to the way she over-shares.

Such a gossip!

Let's talk about it.

Did you hear her werewolf boyfriend got fleas?

[gasps]

Pickles did what?

Mmm.

I always knew that werewolf was a dog.

[wings flapping]

[Vee singing] ♪ Ooh, it's supernatural ♪

♪ The way I flap along ♪

♪ Don't meet a bat like me too ofte... ♪

Oh, bats!

[screaming]

[thuds]

[clicks tongue] See, this is why I take the bus.

Whew!

-Vee? -Billie?

[both] What are you doing here?

[singing] ♪ Slay! S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Stepping out into the light ♪

♪ I have never felt so alive Yeah, yeah, yeah ♪

♪ S-L-A-Y ♪

♪ Watch me shine, shine, shine ♪

♪ Slay! ♪

I can't believe we just randomly ran into each other.

The last time I saw you was the summer you got kicked out of Camp Creepy Lake.

Oh, right! They sent me over to Camp Freaky Lake,

then Camp Spooky Lake. Oh, and I finally finished at Camp...

[screams]

Where if you don't lose your voice,

you didn't do it right.

So what are you doing crash-landing in the Wizard World?

I'm on my way to Dr Lugosi's.

Ugh, she's such a gossip.

-Did you hear about Pickles? -Oh!

He is totally in the doghouse.

He's gonna have to change the address on his collar.

Woof.

But I have to go.

My powers have been fritzing.

That explains the face plant.

Wait! I can fix you with a spell if you want.

Yes, I want!

Why go see Dr Lugosi when my wizard friend can abra-ca-do it?

-Exactly. The Wizternet and I are on it. -[giggles]

Okay, Woogle,

give me a spell to make a vampire stop fritzing.

[phone chimes]

Hmm, this one's tricky.

For this spell, I'll need three other people to sing it with me

and a chocolate cake.

Good thing I happen to know a few singers.

-What's the cake for? -Me!

You try doing magic hangry. Phew!

[♪ hip-hop music playing over speaker]

♪ Uh, uh ♪

♪ Uh ♪

[music stops] Get to the flow E-man.

You don't get paid by the "uh."

Elijah, why aren't you ready for the Renaissance Faire?

The horse and carriage have been waiting in the quad for like an hour.

It's getting messy.

Oh, man, Britney.

I completely forgot.

You forgot? How?

We go every year.

And you know how much I enjoy shouting at the peasants from my throne.

You shout at people here every day.

Quiet, peasant!

Come on, Elijah, let's go.

I'm... I'm sorry. It's just... We're working on Sophie's new mix

and we only have the rehearsal room today.

Really?

Fine!

I'll just tell the peasants that we're not coming.

There'll be no one to make them feel inferior.

That's on you.

[door slams shut]

That hair flip had even more attitude than normal, didn't it?

Yeah. That hair is coming for you.

-[Billie screams] -Whoa!

[Demi] Billie?

I haven't seen you since Camp... [screams]

Oh, yeah... [laughs]

Dang. Oof, you've gotten strong.

You been doing dead lifts?

All my lifts are dead.

[Billie] Wow, there's something wrong with that mirror.

It's like walking through a milkshake.

Ooh, speaking of, where's my cake?

Uh, how'd it go with Dr Lugosi?

Uh, actually, there's been a change in plans.

Hey, Vee, we're going to lunch.

Oh, hi!

Who's your friend and why is she in our safe space?

This is Billie. She's a wizard.

-Vee! -Oh, sorry,

but you can trust Sophie and Elijah.

They know I'm a vampire.

She blew that secret, too.

Wait. Are you DJ PJ?

Like, the DJ PJ?

Oh, you're the only mortal DJ I listen to.

And that's a big deal because I have great taste.

-[camera shutter clicks] -Whoa, Sophie,

Are you famous?

Don't look so surprised.

I put some tracks online.

My aura extends all the way to...

Where do you live, Billie?

-Staten Island. -Staten Island.

Uh, guys, is there something going on with my eye?

[electricity crackling]

Uh, either you're fritzing or you're about to turn left.

[sighs] Well, luckily, Billie has a spell that can fix me.

I do?

Oh, right! I do.

Um, can any of you carry a tune?

I sang at my funeral. [chuckles]

There wasn't a dry eye in the house.

Once they got past the screaming,

You're twisted.

Oh, I've missed you.

Okay, here's the lyrics.

So, for this spell, all you gotta do is sing along.

-Leave the magic to me -Magic? [scoffs]

You haven't heard my voice yet.

Well, then let's get started.

-Three, two... -[electricity crackling]

[singing] ♪ Her spooky powers are acting slow ♪

♪ They need a boost to help them grow ♪

♪ So stop the fritzing Make it quick ♪

♪ Let her live ♪

♪ Do the trick ♪

-[wand swooshes, chimes] -[breathing heavily]

[chuckling]

-You did it! -I always do.

Except for when I don't.

[sneezes]

What in the underworld was that?

[clicks tongue] I think you just sneezed.

[thumping]

Do you hear that thumping? "Ba-boom, ba-boom."

I don't hear anything.

I think my heart's beating.

"Let her live, do the trick."

Oh, no!

You're alive!

Billie, you turned me human!

Ugh, one of you guys must have sung off-key. [chuckles awkwardly]

[sighs] I can't believe this happened in front of DJ PJ.

Billie, you have to fix this.

Look... I mean, technically, I did fix it. You're not fritzing.

Yeah, I abra-ca-blew it.

Vee, you can't meet Councilman Eugene like this.

The Vampire Council doesn't trust humans,

especially ones who know where their secret headquarters are.

Yeah, it's under that haunted castle next to that cute cemetery.

[all] Vee!

What is wrong with me?

It's okay.

I'll ask Woogle for a spell to fix this.

[phone chimes, whooshes]

Phew! Eight hundred results to choose from.

This is gonna take a minute.

Okay, so I'm gonna be in this heart-beating meat suit

a little longer.

Sophie, what's a cool human thing

I can do while we wait?

Uh... Ooh!

Sometimes, you'll stand in front of a fridge,

not knowing why you opened it.

And then suddenly, you're fist deep

in a bag of shredded cheese.

[chuckles]

Or we can eat outside in the sun for a change.

Because now you can. You know,

without your skin catching fire.

Okay, that could help distract me. [chuckles]

Billie, let me know when you find something.

Okay, I'm not catching fire,

but why is my forehead crying?

That's just sweat.

Your armpits are gonna cry too.

Be prepared.

[sighs] After eating all this garlic food,

my human stomach is definitely mad at me.

[farts]

[sighs in relief]

That's better.

What? What just happened?

You, um,

contributed to climate change.

Guys, I've got the reversal spell.

Oh, thank Darkness. I need my fangs back.

This one's also a four-part harmony,

but we need someone who can belt a high E.

How about you, Mr. Magic?

[in deep voice] Yeah, so, I'm more of a baritone.

We only know one person who can do that.

Elijah, go ask her.

No. She flipped her hair at me.

That's Britney for "sleep with one eye open."

[scoffs]

A double flip?

You're so dead.

Demi's gonna sing at your funeral.

Pretty please with a maggot on top?

Eugene's coming, and I need to be a vampire.

[sighs] All right, fine.

But if I don't come back, tell my story.

Good luck with the girl I don't know,

guy I just met, at the school I don't go to!

-Hey, Brit-Brit. -No.

Look, I... I need your help. It's really important.

I have to sing this, uh, new song with Sophie,

and we need someone who can hit a high E.

You know who also needed my help?

The Ren Faire peasants.

They said, "We need a beautiful queen to tell us what to do."

And you took that away from them.

[grunting]

[groans] Ow!

That's your fault too!

Okay... [chuckles] We're gonna be fine.

But Councilman Eugene is here,

and he wants to meet you and Stoney

at the top of the old Wilson Hall Clocktower right now.

-How is that fine? -It's not!

It just sounded better than, "Okay, we're hosed."

Don't worry.

You go meet up with him and stall,

and I'll get the spell figured out to switch you back ASAP.

[Vee exhales]

We'll have to put on the performance of a lifetime

until you're undead again.

Vee Hauntley, can you act like a vampire?

It's the role I was born to play.

[Vee panting]

Ah, old Demetrius, Young Vampirina.

May darkness be upon you.

[sighs] Yeah, yeah.

Curse upon you as well.

Why didn't you fly in instead of taking all of those stairs?

[hesitating] Um...

I didn't want to risk being seen by any humans.

Ah, smart.

Is that garlic I smell on your breath,

Girl.

Of... Of course not.

I'm a vampire.

And the... garlic smell

is all a part of the human ruse, Eugene. [chuckles nervously]

I beg your pardon?

It's Councilman Eugene.

I also go by Spike.

That's my cool nickname.

Is it?

Now, reveal to me the gargoyle?

[Councilman Eugene laughs]

Yes, my closest friend, Gargoyle Number Five.

Um...

You look different.

Um, he's had a little work done,

but I personally think he's pulling it off. [chuckles nervously]

Why isn't he speaking?

Ah... [laughs]

He just doesn't have his blood stone.

[chuckles] Silly me.

Blood stone?

So that's where that thing goes.

[Stoney] Finally, I can talk.

Uh-oh, he knows all my secrets.

[Stoney] Eugene, Vee has so many secrets.

Um,

what do you mean, Gargoyle Number Five?

We gotta do something.

She's not even a vampire anymore.

-[swooshes] -What?

No!

Ooh, look what you did.

My dear, dear friend, Gargoyle Number Four.

-Five. -Five.

I'm sorry.

Well, have a safe flight back.

We gotta go.

Slow your undead roll.

Vampirina Bubonica Hauntley,

What's this about you no longer being...

a vampire?

Man, what are we gonna do?

How are we gonna save Vee?

I tried to hit that high E.

But as we all know, I'm a baritone.

[both] We know.

All right, I'm here.

I don't want to be,

but I'm too good of a friend and a singer.

You came. Thank you.

Who are you?

Never mind. I don't care.

You must be Britney.

You're exactly as described.

All press is good press.

Where's the music for your little song?

How are we going to keep your magic a secret from Britney?

I have an idea.

Okay, circle up

and turn your backs to each other.

It's for the acoustics.

-That's a music word, right? -Yeah.

I assume you need help with the starting note?

Acoustics!

[pitch pipe playing]

[all singing] ♪ Darkness calls and creatures creep ♪

♪ Wake thy powers from their sleep ♪

How did I not see it?

I mean, refusing to fly,

that garlic stench,

That hormonal teenage attitude.

Somehow, you've become...

a human.

[scoffs] Pssh!

Me? Human?

No way.

[burps]

Prove you're a vampire.

If you can't, then I will turn you in to the Council.

Ooh, maybe they'll throw me a parade.

Eugene Day. No... Spike Day.

She's a vampire!

I swear on her grave, which she has.

That's right. I'm a no-blooded,

never-living, bug eating vampire.

I don't believe you.

-[growls softly] -[gasps]

What are you doing?

If you're truly a vampire,

you could turn into a bat

or... or levitate when I drop you.

If you're human...

oh, you'll get quite the ouchie.

[whooshing]

♪ Restore the bat Restore the bite ♪

♪ Return the fangs and glowing sight ♪

♪ Before the day has taken flight ♪

♪ Bring back our creature of the night ♪

[♪ Britney sustaining note]

By the thrice count, I will release my hold.

[laughs menacingly]

[gasps] Put me down, Eugene!

Three...

Two...

One!

[wand swooshes, chimes]

[sighs in relief]

We really just keep cutting it closer and closer.

Did somebody ask for a vampire?

Yes, I... I'm sorry, Vee.

[chuckles awkwardly] My... My vampir-osity

got the better of me.

Oh, no.

What... What am I gonna tell the Council about the gargoyle?

I'll never be a Spike.

Tell you what, Gene.

If you tell the Council Stoney ran away with a garden gnome,

we'll back you up.

Perfect.

Thank you. [chuckles]

And, um, sorry again for, uh,

trying to give you an ouchie. That's... That's on me.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go.

This...

This new world makes me itchy.

[wings flapping]

We did it!

Billie, thank you.

You're welcome.

So now can we have some chocolate cake?

Because I think I deserve some chocolate cake.

[all chuckling]

[♪ Britney sustaining note]

[singing continues]

♪ Yeah ♪

Does she know we stopped singing?

Does she care?

Wasn't there someone else here?

Wouldn't be the first time my talent scared somebody away.

You're welcome, Elijah. [grunts]

[Elijah] Hey.

-Can I sit? -If you must.

Uh...

Thank you for doing that today,

And I'm really sorry I blew off our plans

to go to the Renaissance Faire.

It's not just about the faire.

You're always hanging out with Vee, Sophie, and Demi.

It feels like we're growing apart.

No, no, no, no, no, wait. We're not.

I could never grow apart from you.

I see it more as...

our worlds expanding, you know?

Yeah.

I guess that's what happens when you get older.

That and you finally get your trust fund money.

[laughs] The Hightower way.

I'm not saying to spend less time with them.

It's just...

We came to this school together.

I don't want to forget...

this.

We won't.

-And do you know why? -Why?

Because you're my oldest friend.

You'll always be my day one.

Well, we are the beautiful people.

[laughs]

When you right, you right.

[exhales] Your Highness?

-Day one. -Mmm-hmm.

Hanging out with you is always an adventure, Billie.

Yep, that's like, my whole brand.

Oh, before I forget,

Sophie wanted me to give you something.

[gasps] Autographed DJ PJ PJ's?

Oh, I love them! Tell her I said...

[calmly] They're alright.

-[laughs] -[electricity crackling]

Whoo! [chuckles]

Um... Uh, what's happening there?

[sighs]

Just another fritz.

Oh.

I'm sorry I couldn't fix that.

I hope Dr Lugosi can sort it out.

Me too.

Oh, maybe I can visit you in Staten Island sometime?

Yes. And you can tell me all about that Elijah.

I think he likes you.

Okay, okay, okay, you've got to go.

[Billie chuckles]

-Bye. -Bye.

-[strains] -What's wrong?

I still think there's something up with this mirror.

Just be careful, okay?

[Vee chuckles]

[chiming]

-[cracking] -[gasps]

Uh-oh! Demi's not gonna be happy.

I'll tell him a garden gnome did it.

Uh-oh. Hmm.

[♪ eerie music playing]

[wolf howling in distance]

So after I won Doctor of the Year,

Pickles, my werewolf boyfriend, came crawling back,

got down on one paw and...

proposed!

[screaming]

Congrats! He did good, girl.

Yeah. The only problem is he keeps burying it

in the backyard.

Uh, Dr. Lugosi, about my fritzing?

Right, sure, your thing. Um...

I was stalling because I don't have good news.

[sobbing] Oh, not my Vee!

It's okay.

Being a ghost isn't that bad.

Just make sure you really like the outfit you die in.

-I'm gonna be a ghost? -No, no.

But the reason you're fritzing

is because you've been away from Transylvania too long.

See, young vampires maintain their powers by being around other vampires.

[chuckling] Oh!

So she just needs to go back home for a little while.

Phew! That's good because this is not your best look,

Oh, you are... adorable!

But you are not Doctor of the Year. [chuckles]

No, what I'm saying is...

Vee has to move home.

Forever.

And if I don't, what will happen?

You could lose your powers, or, you know, worse.

[exhales]

What?

But why would the Vampire Council let me leave

if they knew that this could happen?

You're the first teenage vampire

they allowed to leave Transylvania in centuries.

I mean, no one knew this was gonna happen.

I'd say you have till the end of the semester.

So I have to leave Wilson Hall.

I'm afraid so. [clicks tongue]

Oh, sweetie.

Would a cockroach lolly make you feel any better?

-Better make that a dozen. -[Lugosi] Aw.

Actually, vampire cavities are hard--

Enough doctor talk, Lugosi, the girl needs roaches.