Original subtitles

I've been a fool all my life.

Always fun.

Keep on rolling and keep on moving if you can.

Just walking.

Yeah? Where to?

Nowhere special. Just walking up the road.

Now, isn't that funny?

That's where I'm going. Hop on. I'll give you a ride.

On your bike?

Yeah. You ever ridden on one of these things before?

No. Well, then get on. You're going to get a chance to ride with the king.

Is this thing safe?

It's like a baby carriage.

Hop on. I'll even let you drive.

No, I think you better do that.

Hop on.

Okay.

What are we going to do here?

Are you kidding me or what?

Well, let's see.

We're going to have a picnic.

A picnic?

Where's the food?

You, my darling.

little country girl. You're about to go from the first grade to the second

grade.

Oh, what the hell's wrong?

First it's teach back there, now it's you.

Is this hall too much to make in one run?

Hey, the juice is done. This piece is dead.

How far do you think it is to Hicksville?

Probably just up the road a ways.

I've probably got enough here to milk it.

You got a line?

You know I got a line. It's still wet from the last time.

Yeah.

Oh, no.

No. I'm so sick. I can't. I'm so hungry. I vomit. I can't.

Do it.

That broad's getting to be a real drag.

Hey, what about the broad?

You can have it if you want it.

As long as I'm prepared to walk.

Oh, yeah.

Forgot.

Now, you take care of that, honey. That's a 15 -cent raise.

You look me up when we get to California and I'll give you your diploma.

Leave me here or what?

Go away and leave me alone.

Come on, sit down. I'll take you with me.

I'd rather walk.

I said sit down, not lie down. Come on, get on.

Joey, you keep your hands to yourself.

Do me a favor, will you?

On the way there, don't get any dumber than you already are.

Hey, look, it looks like the stragglers have made it.

Yeah, two hitter better than one.

Right.

Hey, Steve.

Good to find that now.

Back in the Thule somewhere.

Can I have some?

I'm so hungry. Please, it's been two days.

What? I'm hungry as a dog. Please let me have some.

Oh, yeah.

Hey, wait a minute.

You said you were hungry as a dog. Well, get down and eat like one.

Hey, you want a drink?

Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha. Eat that.

Ha, ha.

Come on.

Here. You want a drink?

Ha, ha.

That ought to taste good.

Hello, Harriet?

This is Sue Ann, down at the store.

You better get the sheriff over here right away.

Looks like there's going to be trouble.

Yeah, as fast as you can.

Hey, you smell something?

I think it's an old cow lot or something.

No.

That ain't no cow lot. That's a hillbilly.

A real live stinking hillbilly.

Oh, my God.

I have a feeling there are going to be some laws.

Ah, good. Man, it wasn't your fault.

It was an accident.

It was old hero boy all the way.

Anyway, it's too late. Here comes the man now.

The doc's on his way, Sheriff.

I guess it's all my fault.

That ain't so, Sheriff.

Those boys over there were hurting this girl and he just tried to stop them.

All right, son, you go on back over to the gas station now.

I'll get your statement a little later.

All right, what the hell happened here?

Girl fell down and broke her crown.

I thought maybe something like that.

All right, son.

On your feet.

There ought, I guess, to be... a way to end

police brutality.

I'm talking to you, boy.

Now you get on your feet.

Yeah.

There's your man.

They don't do it.

off until we win.

That's the singer.

What kind of a singer?

Oh, uh, not too good.

Oh, poorly. Better put the plums up or down.

Take them on back and lock them up.

I figure I wasn't charging much anymore.

if I drank the last of it, just waiting here for you to show up.

Well, here I am, gentlemen.

And what's on your mind?

Well, the government and a little Alex in the shop.

Sheriff, look.

The government sent me down here a long time ago. We were assured by your office

that we'd get full cooperation.

I just want you to know right now that we haven't.

What are you talking about, man?

Moonshine, Sheriff.

Talking about moonshine. Talking about illegal whiskey.

Yeah. Will you shut up?

Now, look, Sheriff.

The government loses $600 million a year in taxes because of illegal whiskey.

Still, they're right here in your county. That's where they begin,

Right here in your county.

That's right, Mr. Conrad.

I know that.

Everybody knows that, Mr. Conrad.

Hell, I could go out in front. I don't want to take one of these darts and

it out there in any direction and probably hit me about a dozen of you.

Exactly, Sheriff. That's what I've been saying. I've been here three weeks and

nothing's happened. We haven't made one raid. Now, I want to know why.

Well, Mr. Conrad, two pretty good reasons.

Number one,

I ain't got the two dead kids in a night, Sheriff.

And number two,

to do a damn bit of good.

You can't go around knocking over stills like that.

And what you got to do is you got to get that assistant of yours.

Yeah. Yeah. Good old lad.

And you take him out and you guys find out who's syndicating that whiskey.

Then you have something.

You done with your little speech, Sheriff? You know, you're pretty good at

You must get a lot of practice, huh?

Well, I used to get a lot of practice, Mr. Conrad. Now listen to me, Sheriff.

is no whiskey, there can be no syndicating, right? So you know what I'm

do? I'm going to burn all the cookers in your county, Sheriff. All over here.

I'm going to destroy them all.

Because if there are no cookers, there can be no syndicating.

And I want Washington to know that I'm doing a job down here. Do you understand

that? That Conrad, Agent Conrad, is doing a job.

I got to admire that, Mr.

Conrad.

And you tell him I said get out of here.

I know it's his day off. Just tell him I said get out of here. Now we're going

to make a raid.

A raid?

Well, what? What kind of a raid?

Whiskey.

Whiskey? Well, what in funderation for?

Because the U .S. government says for.

Well, in that case, yes, sir.

be the party.

Oh, good heavens, Sheriff. I don't believe this.

Sheriff, according to this file, you have women operating cells in your

Yeah, that's that, Mrs.

They've been operating ever since the Paul died about three years ago.

They might have good gals, Mr. Conrad.

They might have good gals, huh, Sheriff?

Yeah. That's dumb, I didn't want to.

You know what we're going to do? We're going to hit that one. We're hitting

them. We're hitting them this morning.

Now, wait a minute. No, no, no, no. I've waited long enough, Sheriff. We're

hitting them now. Get ready, Alex. I'm ready.

You're making a very serious mistake. There's something else you should know,

Sheriff. What's that?

The federal government never makes any silly mistakes.

Well, in that case, I wouldn't want the federal government to think I was...

Jesse, I'd like you to meet Agent Conrad. He's from the federal

He'll come down all the way from Washington just to see us.

Put your clothes on, honey.

Now, we're going to make a raid now, Jesse.

I want you to be real quiet.

But we can take your sisters by surprise.

Ain't nobody going to get hurt.

I want you to be real quiet.

Okay? I told you there's might a good girl, didn't I, Mr. Conrad?

Horrible.

Run! Run!

It's a ride!

If we can make it to the car. I don't know, but I'm sure that we can.

Pilot! She has to set up a defense like this here.

We ought to rush them now.

We do, huh?

Well, first off...

There ain't no defense they can set up.

The only thing they can do is shoot at us.

And then we're going to shoot back at them, and we're going to win.

Because that's the way we play the game against the Conrad.

Hey, Mr. Conrad, would you like a stick of juicer fruit?

It's good for your nerves.

Now, you listen to me, Sheriff.

Washington's going to get a full report on you, a full report.

You really ought to have a stick, Mr.

Conrad.

I always have one every time I bust one of these places.

Oh, my God, you're serious, aren't you?

You bet I am.

You would have to park the car right down the road. No place else to put it.

It's sure going to be open game.

How about the keys?

They're in the car.

Come on, let's go.

It's them! There they go!

There they go!

Get them!

Mr.

Conrad, try to control yourself, will you?

What is who first? Turn back there.

Hold it down.

I'll tell you when to fire.

You're a dumb deputy.

What?

Help!

Marvel, where's Jesse?

Oh, I don't know.

Well, would you get her, please?

Harold really is a good boy. He's just kind of nervous.

I haven't had this much excitement in about 20 years around here.

I'm kind of glad you've come up here.

Kind of takes the edge off everything, you know.

Well, you want to go back to jail then, Mr. Conrad?

Don't you think we ought to get to it?

You okay, Red?

Yeah, I'm alright.

Can't go very deep.

Just stings like the...

This fool must have been pretty sure of himself.

He didn't even leave a guard.

I've heard this is a hunk of flat -ass machinery.

What do you think?

I don't know.

Why don't we find out about it?

These are in it.

Red, get me a rock.

Okay, give me Juggaloo.

This ain't bad, is it?

Burned a hell of a lot worse.

That stuff burned high right off the mule, man.

It's got good flavor, though.

You like a spool on that, Mr. Conrad?

Sheriff, you have to be kidding. I read a report in Washington that said that

there's enough lead in those pipes to kill a whole... You don't want to...

That'll kill a regiment, Sheriff.

Well, I believe you're right, Mr. O 'Brien.

I'll drink to that.

Sheriff.

I wouldn't want you to say anything to the others, but...

Would you mind very much taking a picture of me in front of the still?

Oh, I'd be delighted, Mr. Conrad.

Now, look, you don't have to do a thing with it. If you'll just snap this button

right here. That button there? Right, and look right to there.

All right. It'll be my pleasure. Okay, now.

Is my hair all right? Oh, your hair looks marvelous.

Someone said once that you have to lick your lips.

Yeah, that's a good idea. Now, smile for me, Mr. Conrad. No, I don't have a good

smile. Oh, Mr. Conrad.

You've got a beautiful smile.

You ought to do that more often, you know that?

Sheriff, I know if I have a smile or not. I don't have a good smile, I know

that. Come on, now.

Big smile.

That's it.

That's it.

Wait, wait.

That's it.

That's it. Wait, you're moving, Sheriff. You can't take the picture when you're

moving. Will you stand still?

Okay, Mr. Allen. All right, now wait.

Big smile, now. No, I don't have a good smile.

Big smile.

That's it.

You didn't move when you did it. Oh, no. I got a good one. Don't say anything.

It's Conrad.

Yeah? Your chief's going to love that one in Washington.

I think he will, Sheriff.

Okay.

You got any fire, Miss Conrad?

Hey, Sheriff.

What is it, Orville? You come on out here. We're having a devil of a time.

All right, hang on a minute.

Sheriff, that's enough.

You better get out of here and stand back and have the others stand back

because... Wouldn't want anyone to get hurt. Come on, Sheriff. I read about

this. I know just how to do it. Miss Conrad.

You can get that thing lit, man.

Why don't you set it up?

Sheriff. Can I have your permission to tie her up? She's just wearing me plumb

out.

You simmer down, young lady.

Look, Jesse, if you don't just slow down now, I might take all your clothes off.

I don't expect you to be running around in your birthday suit with me.

You want to take it easy now?

That's the same, Mr. Conrad.

We done ruined the picture.

That was the most incompetent piece of bungling I've ever seen, Jeff!

That's right, Mr. Conrad.

But you know, I reckon that's why you're an agent for the federal government.

And I'm just a hillbilly chair.

Come on, Orville.

I reckon we'd better go back to jail.

Lookie here.

We got real special visitors.

Aunt Tilly, put the coffee on.

Look who's dressed for pneumonia.

Hey, what happened there?

Let's see what it looks like.

Well, for heaven's sake.

We haven't seen you since high gas.

It's the ruiner Susie.

I wish you'd get some clothes on.

Never mind about her. Just go on and get out of here, boy.

I got some doctor to do.

I'm a good doctor. No, I'm giving you a pound of... She's my intended.

Get out. I don't care what she is. Just get.

Pike, put the car somewhere on the side.

Good thing that sheriff got you in the back instead of the front.

Sure would have torn up the scenery.

Oh, come on. Skip it. Just get it done.

It's not finished now. It's the last one.

Now, we'll just get a little bandage on here, and then you can go right back out

and raise some more cane.

We've got a lot of cane to raise, I tell you.

What are we going to do about Jessie?

We're going to take her with us.

I couldn't dig it.

Now that she's in jail, you mean.

She's in jail, that's for sure.

But I'm going to go down there and kick the door if I have to.

But first I need a couple of things.

Well, if I've got them, you can have them.

Got any money?

Oh, I've got three or four dollars maybe.

If you need more than that, why, Pike will give it to you.

He'll give you anything.

I don't want Pike to know what I'm going to do.

Suit yourself.

Go around and get the car. Bring it out front.

I'll be ready to travel when you get here.

Hey, if you skip high, don't say anything.

See what I told you guys.

These hillbilly gals are all the way.

Hey, bunny rabbit.

Bedtime.

You ain't going to go to bed in that pretty little dress, are you?

Sure, brother.

Well, you just go ahead and make yourself comfortable.

I promise not to look.

Hey,

I bet you drew up a bunny.

Oh, yeah.

Here you go, honey.

There's a nickel all for you. Why don't you please shut up?

Ooh, she's a wild one, too.

I'd get through these bars, Bunny Rap, but I'd make a woman out of you tonight.

I'm already more a woman than you all can handle.

That'll be the day.

You'll just spend the night thinking this.

He don't know what we're talking about.

Look behind you, Luther. Jesse!

Jesse! Now, Jesse, come on. Now, get your clothes on, honey.

You can't evict me, Captain.

I can't do that now.

Well, shucks, I'm going to go get the sheriff.

Yeah, hurry, Luther. See you, General.

Just hang that thing up, Luther.

That's a nice boy.

Now, stop making too much fuss.

Let me see you pick up them keys.

Now, Red, you don't have to come busting in here like Bonnie Parker.

Come in here first thing in the morning, close the door, and share the lift.

That's the answer to that.

Think so?

Yeah. Maybe you don't know what I did to his car this morning.

Oh, yeah, I forgot about that. You, uh, busted up that federal agent a little

bit, didn't you?

Yeah.

Well, I guess you better force me.

Okay. You're forced.

I'm forced.

Jesse, take it off, Jesse. Come on, honey, take it off.

Those scum are all grounded out with this cannon.

Whatever you say, big man.

Jesse, damn it. Stop playing Alex and get that dress on. Just have a little

Those damn beady eyes. Come on, loser.

Come on over there.

So long, you creep.

Hey, wait a minute. How about taking us with you?

Come on. Wait, I got some money. Hard cash.

Now, 50 bucks ought to take us for quite a trip, huh?

All right.

You've bought yourself a deal.

Now, Red, you can't get yourself mixed up with scum like this. You don't know

what they're in here for.

Have you got 50 bucks?

No, I don't.

Well, they have.

Come on, open up.

Come on, get on it, General. You're right.

Come on, Luther, go to your bed.

I think the sheriff is mad about that car wreck. Wait till he hears about

Well, maybe he'll know how I feel about having my still smashed.

Got a car outside.

Everybody walk out nice and easy.

Hey, what about this mother?

Locking one of the cells. We're waiting outside.

Hey, by the way, Prince Charles, don't hurry.

He's my cousin by marriage. Yeah.

Well, go on.

Close the door.

You know something?

You know why we came down south?

Well, all my life... hated clods like you.

It'd make me sick.

Right here.

Right in my stomach.

We came down here to get us some hill guns.

Every time I see one of your faces, I want to beat it in. I'd like to choke

till your eyes pop up.

Pokey. Pokey. Pokey.

Pokey.

We're flat out now.

Those troopers will stick to us like a flea and a hound. Just depends who runs

out of gas first.

That's one fat machine.

a radio on this mother?

You bet we do.

Even get state troopers radio calls.

Yeah, well, I'll bet they'll be doing a lot of calling tonight.

That is, if they're not for shame.

Shame. Well,

if I was them, I'd be mortified.

Pretty little old country girl leaving them sitting there with dirty faces.

Well, Sheriff Adair brought on himself, bringing that federal man and

everything.

Before they hit those back roads, we'll be hunting until the sun comes up.

Come on, honey. Oh, don't make the driving nerd. I can relax.

Hang on. I'm going all the way.

Bumper to bumper.

Shut your damn mouth, will you?

I'll move it up, I mean. I got my boot to carburetor now.

Make him score, baby.

You crazy, Brian. We ain't stopping.

We've got to stop.

We've got to get a doctor.

You don't shut up, you're going to get one, too.

I can't hit him. Stop him. Let me out. I'm going to get a pursuer. Oh, you're

crazy as a broad.

Now, crazy as hell, I'll get him for sure. Now, let me out!

Now, you do as he says.

When he hits the dirt, you better be loud.

Now!

ain't no bull turner.

Not with a machine gun or anything.

Well, I've got to admit, things are beginning to look up.

Not from where I sit.

Well, it looks great to me.

It'll look great to all of us just as soon as we get organized.

Just what do you mean, we?

I mean, there's a few things we've got to get straight right from the

I guess since you're doing all the talking, you might be considered the

creep, huh?

Yeah, well, Animal and I go wherever Todd goes.

That's why I guess you could call him.

The head, you know, whatever you said.

Just what do you think we ought to do to get organized?

The first thing is you broads.

Nothing can screw up a deal quicker than women trouble.

There's three of you and there's three of us.

That makes the deal fairly obvious.

This is the way it's going to be.

Teach.

You bump with Lil.

Animal.

If you're interested, you and Jesse.

I guess you and I should share a tent.

I thought you'd like that.

Everybody agreed?

It's unanimous.

to interfere in your business.

But I don't like some of these new friends of yours.

Well, imagine that.

The old Piper doesn't like us very much.

Nobody asked your opinion.

Unless you want to get back real fast, Calico, get your hands off me, huh?

Pipe, let him go!

So get your hands off me.

And when I'm ready.

I said

let him go.

I can fight my own battles if need be.

You shouldn't have done that, Hayspeed.

You're going to have to pay for this.

Todd, just forget it.

Just forget it.

Now, what about our car?

It needs fixing.

Can you get it done?

Yeah.

I'll have to take it over to old McRae's place.

Dave can do it.

Probably take all night then.

All right, but just get it done. And don't worry about us. I can handle

everything. Let whatever you say, Red.

Now, you're saying that you and I are both the leaders?

Well, maybe we should take a little walk in the moonlight.

Work out the details.

That's just what I had in mind.

Shall we?

What are you doing, Red?

Take that grin off your face. Hey, he's here.

Now sing.

I can't sing. Sing for me.

Jingle bells, jingle bells, jingle all the way.

That was mighty pretty.

Well, that's better now, Red.

Just wanted to make sure I wasn't lying a pike.

The coffee's fine, but one move and you won't be. All right.

What's the deal?

I spelled out the deal last night. I made a few assignments, and that's the

it's going to be.

Understand? Yes.

By the way, I owe you that from last night, remember?

Don't play hero, pig.

And speaking of last night, I owe you something else.

Looks like we've got a few minutes until the old Claude comes back.

Why don't you enjoy yourself, Peach?

No, no, that ain't too smart. How am I going to enjoy myself and watch this old

broad? I think I hear him coming out. Looks like the party's over anyway. Take

care of that.

Hey, now hurry. What's the action?

Just grab the broad. Everybody freeze.

Understand? If they don't, take care of it.

Well, I got the car fixed.

Thanks for the help, my boy.

Seriously,

thanks. Appreciate it.

I did it for Red, not for you.

Let's get out of here.

Now, Tilly.

you know we killed two policemen. You know that, don't you?

You wouldn't tell anybody about that, would you?

You know, he just beat that man up. You wouldn't tell anyone about that either,

would you?

No, you wouldn't do that.

Well, I guess it's okay to go then.

Goodbye now, Arthur.

You take care of yourself, you hear?

Listen, when I move my hand, I don't want to hear a peep out of you. You

understand?

You said it.

Why don't you knock off that bomb before I knock it off for you?

Why don't you knock off threatening people with that thing?

You don't dare shoot Laila or anyone at this point.

It doesn't scare you, huh?

You've got one bullet left, and you're going to need it when Pike gets here.

Pike?

Who are you kidding, baby? No way I'm going to need more than one to fight me.

Hang on.

Don't need the car, cousin. Just a second. Almost finished.

Well, something happened up at the house.

I may not be back.

And if not, they're going to be very inexpensive.

I want you to sell everything and keep what's left for your people.

Why? What's happening?

Yeah, all right, all right.

I get you. I'll do anything you say.

Good. I'm going up the house.

Wait for the sheriff, and when he gets there, I want you to give him all the

help you can, okay?

Now, load up, cousin.

Right. I got you, Park.

They've still got Lil.

I know.

We can't help her.

We'll get you in shape to travel.

Can you take it?

Okay.

I think we lost.

We better get off the main road.

We ought to get it for now.

Heard any place else?

I heard everything.

Well, back in the race.

Let's get them.

It's the fourth. We'll take this one.

Probably took off down that road.

There's a house down there someplace.

I'd like it if you stayed here.

All right.

From now on, we'll do it your way.

Bye, Grandpa.

Tried to walk, my knees would crack.

Park!

Get it done.

Harry. I'm hurt.

I'm hurt.

They killed me.

Oh, Harry.

Don't talk now.

I know what... My wife. My wife.

I saved her.

They're going to kill her too.

Oh, Harry.

I'm hunting.

Your old clumsy heart there.

Well, I've done my bit. Now you go make some coffee.

And you point that damn thing somewhere else.

With all the arsenal that old goat left around here, we could start our own

army.

Here, Chief, try this thing for size.

Why don't you guys hang on to things out here? I think I'll find out if it's

true what they say about these kids.

What the hell is going on out here now?

Old Broad was walking in her sleep. I just woke her up.

Well, hey, I'm trying to get some sleep in here myself, so hold it down, huh?

Yeah, good night.

Hey, Tondaleo.

Come on, you've got to get some fresh water.

By God, you know I hit her?

That's all right.

Animal, what's the matter with me? I'm getting so... Come on, come on, you old

crow, get up.

She's not moving a bit, is she? I don't... I think she's gold -pricking.

All right, boys.

There.

Can't take both of us.

Okay, hillbilly, I'm going to count to four and you make your play.

You can use that thing or throw it in the water.

One.

Two.

Three. Four.

That's far enough. One more step and the girl gets it.

I won't need this thing to take you.

Okay, Hillbilly, I'm taking the girl and I'm getting over the hill. Now don't

try and follow me or I'll have to kill her.

Don't you touch Lil.

Sorry, little sister.

Try it out. Try it out.

Get rid of it.

Hey.

You know, Red's waiting for us down the road.

Red? She ain't dead?

She's alive enough to marry me.

Whether she agrees or not.

You know something else?

They say whiskey runners are real mean on the racetrack.

We're going to have a go at it.

And I want you to come with us.

I wouldn't have it any other way.

First, I've got to take care of him.

Right here.

Keep on a -rollin' and keep on a -movin' if you

can.

Been a fool all my life.

Always fun and never a wife.

Keep on a rollin'.

If you can.