Original subtitles

Theorizing that one could time-travel within his own lifetime,

Dr. Sam Beckett stepped into the Quantum Leap Accelerator

and vanished.

He woke to find himself trapped in the past,

facing mirror images that were not his own,

and driven by an unknown force

to change history for the better.

His only guide on this journey is Al,

an observer from his own time

who appears in the form of a hologram

that only Sam can see and hear.

And so Dr. Beckett finds himself leaping from life to life,

striving to put right what once went wrong

and hoping each time that his next leap

will be the leap home.

You pig!

Ah! What are you doing?

Shut up back there!

Alex, leave your little brother alone.

I'm a kid.

You're a twerp.

- Ow! - I said shut up!

Oh, no, Butchie!

Oh, boy.

Leaping around in time, I've run up against some pretty tough characters.

Violent bikers, mafia hit men,

psychotic killers,

but never anyone quite as menacing

as a big sister.

Noogie time, Butchie, noogie time.

Noogie time, Noogie time,

Alexandra, must you torment your little brother?

- Yeah. - Why?

Somebody's got to.

You gotta toughen him up for Pop Warner.

Right, Butchie?

Yeah, yeah, I... I guess so.

All this toughening up is going to kill the kid.

Mom, that's a risk we have to take.

Hey, Butchie, think fast.

Oh, come on, Butchie.

How do you ever expect to make first-string with sissy reflexes?

Hank, stop it.

Listen, uh, think maybe we could stop up here somewhere?

I really have to go to the bathroom.

What?

You just went back at Stuckey's ten minutes ago.

I did? I mean, I did, but I didn't.

I... I mean, I really have to go again.

Tough luck, scout.

We got a schedule to keep.

That's a great book.

How did you hear about it?

The Feminine Mystique, by Betty Friedan?

It started the whole feminist revolution in the '60s.

Yes, but it just came out.

I know, but I mean...

I think that's what they're predicting

is gonna happen with it.

Hey, hey, hey, state line.

Bye-bye, Wyoming. Hello, Colorado.

President Johnson signed the act into law

which will prohibit racial discrimination

in employment, places of public accommodation,

publicly-owned facilities, union memberships,

- and federally funded programs. - The Civil Rights Bill 64.

Remember that, kids, everyone deserves

a fair chance in this country.

All right, Hank.

Hank?

Oh, no that's our song.

Your song?

Yes, your father and I danced to that at the graduation prom.

I was going off to Northwestern,

your father was going to play football at Florida State.

How come you didn't go?

Um,

your father persuaded me to stay.

Did you know he used to sing this song to me?

Emma, come on.

Excuse me, but, uh,

how long before we get home?

Well, let's see, that'll be just a little bit over 6,000 miles.

6000, mmm...

Mom, I think Butchie's gonna puke again.

Alex, a lady doesn't say "puke," she says "throw up."

Yeah, well he looks like he's gonna do that, too.

Butchie, are you carsick?

Yeah.

Yeah, could we just pull up somewhere,

like the next corner, and drop me off?

- Hank, I think you better pull over... - Honey, honey.

We gotta stick to the schedule,

otherwise the whole trip will be snafued.

What do you think you're doin'?

I'm seeing how close we are.

If you were the navigator, we'd be in Chihuahua by now.

Oh, come on, honey.

Why don't you just stick to working the radio?

Hey, hey, hey, hey. Come on. Fold it right, will you?

I may not be able to read a stupid map,

but I know a lot about more important things.

1300 hours.

We're supposed to be at Wild Willy's.

Oh, great.

Giant vegetables, two-headed snakes,

and buffalo chimps.

Buffalo chimps?

Okay, Butchie boy, you're next.

Hank, if the boy doesn't want to...

Emma, he's been bugging me about this the whole trip.

Now, I'm gonna see him pet a chimp if it's the last thing I do.

I'll be at the snack bar.

Oh, Mom...

Just do as your dad says, Butchie.

He seems to know what's best for everybody.

Daddy, maybe we should take a before picture.

So we can remember what he looked like.

Look, Dad, I don't really want to go.

Get in there, monkey boy.

Keep smiling, Butchie.

- Hey! - Ah!

All right, that's it.

Don't you like my knee?

Sam, you gotta be Butchie.

No, I don't.

What are you gonna do about it?

That's the rule.

I'm gonna break it.

I'd like to see you try it, monkey boy.

I don't have to take this.

Oh, yes, you do.

Ow!

Just remember, when you least expect it,

expect it.

Boy, she's gonna have a big future as a mud wrestler

and she's only fourteen-and-a-half.

She called me monkey boy?

- She did. She called me monkey boy. - Yeah, well, that's her job.

Hey! You're 13, she's your big sister. That's her job.

13?

I'm old enough to be my own father.

Well, that's a first.

Let's see, your name is Butchie Rickett.

And you and your family just left your home in Pahokee, Florida

for a 9,000-mile trip across the country.

Al, I've done this before.

What? You've done what?

I've done this. Taken this trip.

I mean, not this trip, but I mean when I was 11, 12.

My father packed us into our tiny little station wagon

and we went across the United States on a summer vacation.

I guess I must've blocked it out.

Yeah, well, once was enough.

Tell me what I gotta do so I can get out of here.

Take it easy. You've only got 5,900 miles to go.

Well, let me guess.

I'm here to stop the evil sister

from noogying Butchie to death?

Be nice if it was that simple.

It's July 4, 1964

and when the fireworks go off tonight,

your mom, Butchie's mom, runs out on the family.

What, she abandons them?

Well, they never see or hear from her again.

- I can't believe that. - I can.

Is that the guy she runs off with?

Well, Ziggy doesn't have any data on that,

but it doesn't take a hybrid computer to figure out what's on his mind.

Butchie, I want you to meet someone.

Come here.

Billy, this is Butchie.

Hello, Butchie.

Hi.

Your boy's got quite a grip.

And Alexandra, well,

she's running around somewhere.

Billy McCann, I can't believe this.

God, that sounds nice. Everybody up north calls me William.

Well, you'll always be Billy to me.

Look at you. Has it been 14 years?

Um, 15.

You look even prettier than I remember.

That is the oldest line in the manual.

Come over here.

- I'm out of here, Sam. - Where are you going?

I want you to meet someone.

Trust me, Sam, I've seen this scenario before, and I don't like it.

Please don't let it happen to Emma and her family.

And Beth, this is Butchie.

Hi, Butchie.

Hi.

You two are almost the same age.

I'm going to high school in September.

What grade are you in?

Uh, I'm, uh,

I'm between grades. It's the summer.

Uh, Mom, we really should be hitting the road, don't you think?

Oh, darling, I'd like to spend some time

with my old friend here.

Guess you two went to high school together or something, huh?

Yeah, we were on the same speech team together.

State champs in Dramatic Interp.

"What satisfaction canst thou have to-night?"

"The exchange of thy love's faithful vow for mine."

"I gave thee mine before thou didst request it

"And yet I would it were to give again."

"Wouldst thou withdraw it? For what purpose, love?"

Barf. What is that from?

Romeo and Juliet.

And I thought all you ever read was Mad Magazine.

Oh, yeah. Well, they did, uh,

a Shakespeare parody in the last issue.

Oh.

I can't believe you remembered that.

How could I forget? Those were the best times ever.

Well, what about Northwestern?

I heard you got your PhD.

And you could have gotten yours if you'd come, too.

Yeah.

Well, other things were more important.

I'm a housewife and a mom.

Is your wife here?

Laura passed away some time ago.

Oh, Billy, I'm so sorry.

We're okay, now. Thanks.

I'm sorry.

Listen, Mom,

Dad's probably looking all over for us.

Hey, hey, hey, Butchie, think fast.

Oh! Scout,

reflexes, reflexes, reflexes.

Thanks, Dad.

Hank, look who's here.

Billy.

Billy McCann.

Hank.

I'm sorry I didn't recognize you, man.

You got bigger since I saw you last.

You, too.

Oh, well, you know, prairie dogs and buffalo chimps.

They'll do it to you every time.

Well, what brings you up here?

Summer vacation.

Beth loves animals.

Butchie boy here has been yammering about petting a buffalo chimp

ever since we left Florida. Right, scout?

I guess so.

So you stayed on after Florida State?

Yeah, yeah.

I broke my hip freshman year, and... I don't know

college wasn't really for me,

so I started delivering poultry

and what do you know, I own my own factory now.

So how about yourself?

Oh, Billy got his doctorate.

He's teaching college.

Oh, hey, well, that's great, Doc.

So, where you workin'?

I was at Northwestern for seven years

and then I was at Yale, Cornell, Berkeley...

Oh, sounds like you can't hold down a job, eh, scout?

Actually, we've got a couple of offers from back East.

Beth and I are trying to make up our minds.

Oh, that sounds so exciting.

Well, we probably should be hitting the road, eh?

- Yep, 1400 hours. - Okay.

Listen, are you...

It was real good seeing you again, Billy.

Are you passing through northern California on your trip?

Oh, yeah, uh...

What? July 26, 1700 hours, we're due in Frisco.

Well, we live right across the bay, in Berkeley.

Why don't you all come over for dinner?

Oh, that would be wonderful.

Oh, God.

It's great seeing you again, Billy.

You, too, Emma.

Come on, scout, let's go find your sister.

Take it easy, Butchie.

The good news was that Emma was still with her family.

The bad news?

You're over, you're over. Mom, Butchie's over.

So was I.

Butchie, you know better.

He's over. He's over.

Over what?

On my side.

His shoes are covered with monkey doo.

Oh, have a cow, why don't you?

Have a cow?

Have a purple-nerple.

Ow! Ow! Get off. Get off!

Okay, come on, come on, come on, separate.

It'll be fun visiting Billy and Beth.

Well, if we have the time.

Oh, let's make the time, hmm.

Well, honey, we got Fisherman's Wharf,

Golden Gate,

Sausalito, Chinatown, Top o' the Mark.

Our schedule's already packed.

Well, then let's, uh, change it.

Uh, I think it'd be better if we don't.

Stay out of this, Butchie.

No, you can't, Sam.

- Al... - Yes?

- What're you doing? - It's called reading.

Checking up on you.

You have to see that Emma never sees Bill or calls him again.

How?

First you string letters...

You have to get that card and toss it out the window.

Then you string those into things called sentences.

I can't do that.

That's because you're a moron.

Alexandra, I told you,

don't call your brother a moron.

But, Mom, he is.

You got to. It's the only way you're gonna save this family

and leap out of here.

Hey, Em... Uh, M-Mom.

Huh-huh?

Can I take a look at that card?

Thanks.

Well, go on, toss it out.

Sam, toss it out.

Go ahead.

Okay, good, and now don't ever litter again.

This is just a special case this time.

Oh, no.

What's wrong?

Oh, I was holding the card by the window,

and it just kind of flew out the window. I'm sorry.

W-what?

Hank, stop. Turn around.

Honey, we're never gonna find it.

Hank.

Look, when we get to Frisco we'll call Information.

Maybe I won't have to.

Damn. Emma leaves after all.

Hank, that was Billy.

You can't stop, Sam.

No, no, it wasn't.

Yes, it was.

I'm sure it wasn't. Keep on driving, Dad.

Hank, we have to stop and go back and help them.

Mom, even if it was Billy, he can fix it himself.

He's right, honey. There's a gas station a couple of miles back.

What kind of example is that to set for the children?

It's a fine example.

Oh, yes? What's that?

It teaches us to be more self-reliant, to take care of ourselves.

Go to the head of the class.

Hank, stop and turn around.

Dad, we're gonna get off our schedule.

He's got a point, honey.

What is helping him for 10 minutes going to do?

Destroy this family. Sam!

Just keep going, Dad. He'll be fine.

Hmm, I guess your mom's right.

Sam, I'm out of here.

I'm warning you, Butchie, you're on my side. Get over.

Well done.

Well, I guess that PhD doesn't come in handy for auto repair.

No, I am worthless when it comes to cars.

Yeah, well. Be prepared. Right, scout?

Yeah. Well, we ought to hit the road, huh?

Thanks again. It's lucky we ran into you.

Yeah.

- We'll do it again soon. - Okay.

Thanks to Doctor what's-his-name back there,

we're an hour off our schedule.

If it's our schedule,

how come you decide when and what we do?

Because I'm the dad.

- So that makes you boss? - Of course.

- Look, maybe if we all just... - Butchie.

Yeah, twerp.

I don't know why we can't be a little more spontaneous.

Spontaneous?

If that's what you want, why don't you

ride with Mr. Spontaneous back there?

So smart he doesn't even bring a screwdriver on a cross-country trip.

Huh!

If he had extra room, I just might.

You want me to turn around?

Oh, no, no, no. I don't want to throw off our schedule.

We're already late. What difference does it make?

Then stop here.

Fine.

Mom.

Aren't you gonna go after her?

She'll come back.

W-w-what if she doesn't?

Mom.

Mom.

What's going on, Mom?

You wouldn't understand.

Come on, I'm 13.

Yeah, my little man.

Gosh, how'd you grow up so fast, huh?

You and Alex will be off to college before you know it.

I don't know, I'm just kind of...

Afraid of being alone?

No.

I mean, I'm already by myself most of the day.

Daddy's at work, and you kids are at school,

and I've got time to do whatever I want.

It's just

not like I thought it would be.

I know I've got no right to complain.

Not with what Grandma went through

and other folks struggling for money and jobs.

Your Daddy makes a good living.

Yeah.

I know I should be happy.

No, Mom.

Not if you don't feel fulfilled.

Now, this... this doesn't mean

that I don't love you and Alex and Daddy.

I know, I... I... I know, Mom.

It's just that I, um,

want something more.

I want to spend some part of my life

as me.

Whoever that is.

Not just as someone's,

I don't know, daughter or wife

or mother.

I want to...

I want to stop feeling like...

A non-person.

Yeah.

A non-person.

I feel like a non-person.

Then you should do more.

You should do something more.

What?

Oh! "Do something more."

That was the theme of my speech at Graduation.

You were valedictorian?

Yeah.

I wrote this great speech

about taking chances,

and reaching beyond the expected.

Guess I should have listened to myself, huh?

Instead of spending my life

wondering.

About the road not taken.

Yeah.

Well,

guess it's too late for that now.

No, it's not.

That's what I'm saying. You can do anything you want.

You could... you could go in a whole new direction.

You could go back to school.

I... I can't do that.

Not with all those young kids.

Yeah, but they're... You're young, too.

In the '60s, housewives started...

Will start going back to college.

How do you know?

Well, my...

A lot of my friends' moms are starting classes again.

- Really? - Yeah.

And you're smart

and you owe it to yourself to do the best thing for you.

What if Daddy doesn't think it's such a good idea?

It's not his decision, it's yours.

Besides, you don't know how he's gonna react until you talk to him.

What? No. No way.

I'm talking about a few classes, at the J.C.

Honey, it's called "junior college" because it's for kids.

Oh, well, no. Actually, a lot of adults go.

Butchie.

Besides, we can't afford it.

Well, then I'll get a part-time job.

Damn it, Emma. Now, there's no reason for you to be workin'.

Well, then there's no reason I shouldn't go to college.

You know, junior colleges are very inexpensive.

You can get a great education there.

Look, you just keep talking, mister,

and you're gonna be educated in a military school.

Hi there, campers, welcome to Camp Chipmunk.

Hi there, campers, welcome to...

Finally made it, scout.

Know how long it took to get these reservations?

Six months.

You're in luck. We just got a cancellation.

They must've gotten ahead of us when we pulled over.

This is weird, Al. No matter what we do, we keep running into him.

Well, maybe she told him where you were going.

Maybe. Sometimes you can't fight fate.

- Well, you have to, Sam. - How?

I'm a kid. Nobody listens to me.

All I do is I... I get teased and ignored.

You've dealt with a lot tougher guys than that nozzle over there.

Hey, it would be a lot easier if this guy Bill were a jerk. But he's not.

He's actually a pretty okay guy.

Well, so is Hank.

Hey, it's 1964, guys were different then.

- But they're gonna change. - I don't know.

You gotta give Hank a chance, 'cause if you don't,

Alex gets pregnant in two years and Butchie doesn't even finish high school.

If she leaves, she destroys the whole family.

What happens to her?

I don't know. We don't have any data on Emma.

Just that sometime tonight, she runs away.

Even if I stop her,

who's to say that she's gonna hang around here and wait for Hank to change?

Maybe you're right.

Maybe any mother that leaves her kids isn't worth saving.

You're taking this personally, aren't you?

No.

All right, yeah. Maybe I am.

My dad wasn't there for my mom.

So sometimes I could understand that she left him.

But she left Trudy and me, too, and I could never understand that.

So, uh,

just make sure they stay together, Sam.

Al.

I promise you I'll do whatever I can to keep Emma here.

Okay.

Talking to your imaginary playmate again, huh?

I thought you stopped believing in Jack Bobbin when you were six.

I can't believe it. You're such a baby.

Hank, stop it. He didn't do anything.

He put his hand on your leg.

Come on, Hank.

Hmm, been a while, eh, Doc?

What's wrong?

Uh, Butchie, go back to the cabin.

Hank, he didn't do anything.

I saw him put his hand on your leg!

She made a joke. I patted her on the knee, that's all.

Yeah, and then you left it there.

Look, I think we've all had a little too much to drink.

Let's call it a day.

After we settle this.

Hank!

It's not high school anymore, Hank.

You can't solve everything with a fight.

Well, just stay away from my wife.

And you stay away from me.

What do you know about women?

You're only 13 years old.

I know about Mom.

I mean, you said yesterday that everybody deserves a fair chance.

Well, yeah. I was talking about minorities.

Women deserve equal rights, too, Dad.

Equal rights.

I mean, maybe

one day they're gonna fight for their own sort of

Civil Rights Act.

What the hell's gotten into you, scout?

Nothin'. Nothin'. I just...

I just think that if Mom wants to go to college,

she should get a chance. That's all.

College?

I already give her everything she needs.

The Vista Cruiser, the color Zenith, the...

She doesn't know it yet, but I got her

a full karat rock for our fifteenth this month.

Dad, those are just...

This month?

- Yeah. It's a big as your hand. - Alex is fourteen-and-a-half.

She's not gonna be 15 for another...

Well, I... I meant...

I meant our sixteenth.

Mom was pregnant.

She didn't go to Northwestern because she was pregnant with Alex.

Now, you just keep talkin', mister,

and I'll put you over my knee.

Were you afraid she wouldn't come back if she went to college with Bill?

Oh, Dad.

Butchie, your mom...

She's the only woman I ever loved.

But don't you see?

You're gonna lose her if you don't start listening to what she needs.

Well...

I'll make you a deal, Son.

I'll talk to your mom.

Great.

If you beat me back to the cabin.

Oh, Dad.

But, honey, we're finally doin' so well.

We got the new house, two cars,

and we're gettin' a pool in the spring.

I don't want any stuff.

Don't you hear me?

I feel like I'm going crazy.

Okay.

Okay, then can you just tell me this,

what do you want?

I want to stop feeling

like a non-person.

A non-person?

Yeah.

I owe it to myself to do what's best for me.

I don't know. I want my own life.

Your own life?

Uh, uh, are you saying you want to split up?

Oh, no, Hank,

no, I love you. You know that.

It's just that I feel like some part of me is dying.

I haven't done anything with my life.

Yes, you did. You had two kids.

But this isn't about our kids, or our family.

I just... I thought

the deal was I make the money and you make the happy home.

Well, I've made a happy home.

I've made a happy home for 15 years.

And now what?

Everybody goes away, and I sit home, waiting.

I don't want to wait anymore. I want to...

I want to do something for me.

You know, Emma,

you're not crazy, you're just selfish.

Well, then I'm not alone.

There are other women like me.

And we're all sick of...

We're sick of shopping,

and making brownies for a living.

I'm sorry,

but I don't have an orgasm waxing the damn kitchen floor.

Is that what that book says?

That's what I think of the damn book.

I told you she was going to run away.

Go find Alex. Fireworks start in 20 minutes.

Where'd she go?

I don't know. Out there somewhere,

trying to do what's best for her.

I don't know, I guess she got tired of being a non-person.

Dad, Dad, we gotta find her.

Look, your mom has been runnin' away since the ninth grade,

but believe me, she'll be back.

Not this time.

I said, she'll be back.

Not unless we find her.

What are you doing?

I thought that Emma was with you.

- So did I. - She was, a few minutes ago.

- I'm sorry, Sam. - What happened?

She came by the cabin, very upset.

It's my fault.

We talked. We decided it was best to stay at separate campgrounds.

When Emma disappeared, I assumed she ran off with Bill.

- What happened to her? - We said our goodbyes.

We didn't research far enough into the records.

Just tell me where she is.

I dropped her off at the fire road.

She... she said she wanted to go for a walk.

In 1993, a woman's skeletal remains

were found at the base of Devil's Backbone.

No.

Yes. And the dental charts match Emma.

Dad.

- Get in this car, scout. - Mom's in trouble.

- What? - She's gonna die.

- What the hell are you talkin' about? - I can't explain.

Sam, we gotta get to Devil's Backbone now.

We gotta get to Devil's Backbone now.

Please.

I don't see her.

Stop.

Stop, stop, stop.

Talk to me, Al.

Her remains were found right at the base of that ridge.

Dad, I don't see her.

What the hell's going on, scout?

- Mom! - Scout.

You gotta trust me, Dad. You got any rope?

- Yeah. - Bring it! Hurry.

Go, Ziggy center me on Emma.

I don't care where she is, just do it!

God.

Hurry up, Sam! She's right down here!

Mom. This way.

Sam, hurry.

It's steep as anything here. She's slipping.

- Mom, hang on. - Emma.

- Daddy, she's not moving. - You need my help, Dad.

Hang on, honey!

Oh, my God.

There, honey.

Hold the flashlight. Give me the rope. Give me the rope!

- Dad, do something. - Hang on, Mom.

Okay, honey. I'm gonna throw you the rope.

Mom, don't let go.

Bill, I'm gonna need your help here.

I think maybe we should get the ranger.

Okay, go.

Go!

Okay, honey!

Dad, hurry!

Here comes the rope.

Okay, Emma, reach and grab the rope!

Reach and grab the rope!

Emma, grab the rope!

- Mom, grab it! - Grab the rope, Mom.

It's right next to your hand, honey!

She's frozen, Sam.

Shine the light on the rope.

She's not moving, Dad.

- Oh, my God. - Dad, do something.

We can use the tree.

I'll tie the rope around my waist,

you can lower me down.

Okay, good thinking, scout.

Come on, honey, get down, get down, get down here, now.

Point the light right on Mommy.

Now just hold the light there, and don't let it move. Can you do that?

- Yes. - Okay, babe.

How you coming, scout?

Let's go.

Hang on, Mom.

- Okay, you ready? - Yeah.

Butchie, hurry.

Hang on, Emma, hang on. He's coming.

Hurry.

- You okay? - Let's go.

Be careful, Butchie.

Hang on, kid.

Keep goin'.

You're almost there, Sam.

Watch out. Don't knock any rocks.

Easy, Sam.

How you doing, scout?

Almost there.

Come on, hurry. Get her, Butchie.

Hang on, Emma. Just hang on.

Mom.

Butchie.

I'm right here, Mom. Grab my hand.

Go on, Mom, grab him.

Mom, hold on. Don't let go, please.

Any more rope?

Okay.

Mom, hang on, please.

That's it, scout!

Mom!

Mom, grab my hand!

Hurry, Sam.

Reach, reach down a little lower, lower, lower.

Grab my hand, Mom.

Mom!

- Emma! - Mom!

What're you doing down there?

That's it. Grab it, Sam.

Now, pull.

Pull up!

Okay, scout.

Pull, Dad, pull.

Hold on. Here we go.

Pull up a little more.

Haul her up, Sam.

Stay there. Stay there. Let it out a little.

- Mom, hang on. - That's good.

Okay, come on up, Mom.

You gotta get up.

Wrap your hands around my shoulders.

Now get on my back. Can you hold on?

Mom, hang on, please.

Pull me up.

Come on, Hank, you can do it! Pull!

Almost there!

Hang on!

Come on, Dad.

Pull, Dad, pull!

Almost there, Mom.

Come on, baby. Come on, Dad!

Give me your hand, honey.

Give me the other one.

Here we go. Up we go, now.

That's it. Just a little further.

Okay, I got you. I got you.

I thought I lost you.

Oh, God, I almost lost you.

I almost lost you.

I love you so much.

I love you so much.

How'd you know, scout?

How'd you know?

Hey there, scout.

It's a little past your bedtime, isn't it?

Yeah, well, I guess so.

Well, I think he's earned an extra hour.

Yeah.

And this next tune is a special request

by Hank to his special little lady, Emma.

They make a beautiful couple.

I think they're gonna make it, Al.

Yeah, I think so.

The big thing is Emma goes to college.

They even move to Miami, so she can get

her doctorate in Speech and Drama.

And they're still together?

Hmm. They even switch roles.

Hank retires so he can play golf

and hang around the house, take care of the kids.

And she's still teaching in the university.

That's great.

So?

When do I leap?

Well, uh,

Ziggy has a very interesting, uh, hypothesis about that.

Yes, it's called the Big Sister Theory.

Big Sister Theory?

You... That's my hair.

Who do you think you are now, Superman?

Yes.

Will you... Butchie, let me go.

Not until you promise never to tease

or abuse your little brother again.

That means no charley horses,

no noogies, no wedgies, no ear flicks,

and no purple-nerples.

Okay, okay.

You promise?

I promise. I promise!

Come on!

- You know, Butchie... - Huh?

You're all right. For a twerp.

I bought that shirt with my own money.

That is my Queen T-shirt.

It's not yours, jerk.

Read my lips, barf-head.

That's my shirt, and I want it back.

Mommy, Leeky ate my doll.

Mommy!

I'm a mommy?