Original subtitles

( music playing )

Hi, I'm Gene.

I'm Gene.

It's me. Gene.

( knock on door )

Yes?

Man: Uh, hello?

Hi. Is it, uh...

is it you?

Yes. It's me.

- Hey. Gene? - Hi.

- Dan? - Yeah.

OK. ( laughs )

( both chuckling )

Please. Come in.

This is nice.

- Is it OK? - Yeah. Sure.

- OK. - Wait. Why do you ask?

Oh, I don't know, I didn't know, you know,

what you were expecting.

And-- or used to. So, I--

No, it's really nice.

I-- I like the flower.

And the candles. And the dining table.

It's just-- It's nice.

It's nothing.

Yeah, it's all lovely.

Thanks.

Thank you...

for setting all this up.

Hey, uh, it's OK if we're a little nervous, right?

Uh, yeah. ( laughs )

- Yes. - OK, good.

- Yeah. - You seemed really calm.

Oh, I am so not calm.

- ( laughs ) - No, I-- I'm...

utterly aflutter.

I don't know why I said that. Sorry.

No, no. I liked it. "Utterly aflutter."

It's poetic.

- Yeah. - And it's true.

I feel that way too.

Yeah.

Maybe we just, uh, dive in?

- I'd like that. - OK.

- Let's see. - ( object rattling )

Oh. Here you go.

Uh...

18, 19, 20.

Get you some water.

( crunching )

What's this one?

- That is tranexamic acid. - What's that?

Uh, it helps regulate the female menstrual cycle.

And it slows down bleeding.

- So, you know, just in case. - That's smart.

- Right? - Yeah.

( both laugh )

Oh. Yes, please.

OK, good.

I didn't know if you were a drinker,

and I didn't want you to think I'm some kind of boozer

or-- or something.

( laughs )

- Hmm. - Nice.

OK.

Too-too-too.

Hmm.

- Thank you. - There you go.

Ah. ( laughs )

Uh, to, uh, the perfect night.

Perfect night. Where we can just--

Where we can just be exactly who we want--

- ( laughing ) Jinx. - ( laughing ) Jinx.

Ah! Oh, my God!

- That's twice-- - In a row.

- This is crazy. - I know.

Hmm.

Every-- Everything OK?

Yeah, yeah, um...

I think I might already be starting to feel it.

Really. It said 20 minutes.

Up to 20 minutes.

Also maybe considering the dosage...

Right. Right, OK.

Um, let's get everything ready.

OK.

( music playing )

Shall we, uh, get this out of the way?

Oh. Yeah.

- I, Gene-- - I, Dan--

( both laughing )

Jinx.

It's like we're the same person or something.

I know. There's an air of kismet about all of it. I--

Aw, I just said there's an air of kismet.

Now who's the poet?

( both laugh )

OK.

I, Dan Bender, am of sound mind

and have previously agreed to everything that I will do

and that will be done to me tonight.

I, Gene Gerkin,

am also of sound mind,

and have previously agreed to everything that I will do

and that will be done to me tonight.

Great. You OK?

Mm-hmm.

Yeah, I think just a few more minutes,

just to make sure everything's in the right place.

You got it. Yeah.

( exhales )

I can't believe this night is finally here.

- I know, right? - After all these months?

All this correspondence? All this not knowing?

I'm just happy you came.

I'm happy you came.

I have to admit, for a while I was starting to worry

that this was just gonna turn out to be a big... joke.

- Me too. - Really?

Yeah. Sure. I mean,

you and I, we understand this,

but I don't think a lot of other people would.

Gene?

Yeah?

I think-- I think I'm ready now.

OK, Dan. OK.

- OK. Here, buddy. - Thanks.

- OK. - Watch your head.

- Ahh. - There you go.

( deep breath ) You ready, Dan?

I'm ready.

OK.

- ( snipping sound ) - Dan: Ahh.

- Did you get it? - I got it.

( exhales )

You hold that.

There we go.

Nice. Nice.

( exhales )

( grunts )

- ( sizzling sounds ) - Mm.

( sizzling continues )

Ooh.

( sniffs )

It smells... good.

I know, right? I wa-- I wasn't expecting that.

Were you?

No.

It smells like...

nothing I've ever-- ever smelled before.

- Right? - Yeah, agreed.

- It's weird. - It smells incredible.

Yeah. It really, really does.

( sizzling )

Nice.

How you doin'? How's the bleeding?

It's under control for now.

OK, great.

Let's just get you over here.

Thanks.

There you go. ( chuckles )

OK.

- Ahh. - Thank you.

Well, you're welcome.

No, I mean, thank you...

for doing for me-- with me--

what nobody else seems to understand.

Thank you for the same.

I mean, I'm excited for this. And for my turn next.

It didn't hurt much at all, by the way.

Shall we?

Before it gets cold?

( both laugh )

( banging on door )

( knocking )

Woman: This is the police! Open up!

- Jesus Christ. - What?

( Gene muttering )

( banging insistently )

Open up!

Coming! I'm just getting out of the bathroom!

( whispers ) OK, come on, come on, come on.

Come on.

( banging on door )

OK. Stay in here

and don't come out no matter what.

- ( banging ) - OK.

No, no, no, no, no.

Mmm!

- It's so good! - Really?

- Cop: What's that? - Nothing! Just a sec!

( Gene whispering )

What the hell is wrong with you?

- Oh. So good. - ( banging on door )

Cop: If you don't open this door,

I'm gonna be forced to break it down.

Sorry. Coming!

How can I help you, Officer?

Why did it take you so long to open this door?

I told you. I was in the bathroom.

What's your name?

- M-My name? - Yes, your name.

- Gene. - Gene what?

Gene Gerkin!

Is there a Dan Bender here with you tonight?

Uh, I don't know anyone by that name.

Well, who's all this for?

Um, for me. My friend.

Uh-huh.

Let's see here.

Jill Bender.

She found some unusual and cryptic emails

on her husband Dan's computer last week.

She did not divulge the content, but became concerned.

She followed him here

and watched him walk into this room

ten minutes ago.

She called us to check it out,

as she had reason to fear his life,

based on his emails.

You want to tell me where he's at?

You know, I have to ask,

isn't this something you generally need a warrant for?

I suggest you tell me where the gentleman is.

I understand that,

it's just I paid for this hotel room

and I'm not doing anything wrong here.

Is he here?

( laughs )

Is he hiding?

Hmm?

( jiggling doorknob )

Don't!

( pulls shower curtain back )

Why'd you scream?

I don't know. I mean, you scared me.

Y-You know, you just come in here and disrupt my evening--

If you see Dan Bender, tell him his wife

is looking for him and to go home.

Uh, excuse me.

What?

I want your name and badge number, please.

Excuse me?

I mean, your actions here tonight

are in total violation of my rights!

And I plan on filing a report.

You gonna file a report?

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I just might.

- Is she gone? - Ohh.

Both of you get down! Down on the ground!

Please, just hold on. I can ex--

Ow! Damn! Gah!

Fuck! Ahh!

- Please! Just let me-- - Shh!

What the fuck?

Don't move!

Don't you fuckin' move!

This is Pankin, I'm at the motel near the parkway.

- I need backup. - Please!

- Let me just explain! - Stay down.

Stay the fuck down.

I have two males,

two gay males--

No, we're not gay. I have a wife.

Even if we were, what does that have to do with it?

Some crazy fucked-up shit happening here

like some kind of Silence of the Lambs shit.

We're not doing anything wrong.

What?! You guys are cuttin' off each other's dicks

- and fuckin' eating 'em, man. - So?

Stay down.

It's not illegal.

You're telling me assault isn't illegal?

- Dan: We have a tape. - That's right.

I have a recording. Full consent, both sides.

It's not assault.

- Cannibalism, fucker. - Not a crime. It's not a crime.

( siren approaches )

Fuck.

- Cop #2: Fuck. - Cop #3: What happened here?

I think this one agreed to have his dick cut off

- so the other one could eat it. - We split it.

Gene: But we agreed on it beforehand.

It's all planned out.

If I may.

Dan ( on recording ): OK. I, Dan Bender,

am of sound mind

and have previously agreed to everything that I will do

and that will be done to me tonight.

- You OK, sir? - Yeah, man.

You'll need medical attention at some point.

Yeah, I got bandages for now,

so... we prepared.

So what else happened here tonight?

Uh, she barged in without a warrant.

'Cause they were doing some crazy, illegal-ass shit!

It's not illegal! Jeez, how many times do we have to tell you?

( whispers ) We didn't have probable cause.

He cut his dick off. He cut his dick off.

That's assault.

( entering text on phone )

Cop #3: It's really not?

It's fucking weird, but it's not illegal.

And technically, it's not assault, with consent.

Which is exactly what we've been trying to tell her.

Sir, you also OK with what's happening here?

Up until you guys barged in

and ruined our lovely evening, sure.

Uh, you'll want to get that looked at sooner rather than later.

Sorry for the inconvenience.

Jeez.

( grunts )

( sighs )

( short laugh )

Shall we continue?

We shall.

Bottom drawer.

You OK?

Yeah. I got this.

Do you believe those police officers?

Who the hell do they think they are?

Ah, they just don't understand.

These are our basic human rights, you know?

I know. What are we gonna do?

It's not fair.

Hey, I don't want them to ruin our night.

- You're right. - OK?

I say we forgive and forget.

That's very sweet of you, Dan.

I'm inspired.

Think I'm gonna forgive 'em.

( exhales ) Are you ready?

I'm so ready.

What do you think mine's gonna taste like?

If I had to bet,

I would say... delicious.

Delicious.

( chuckles ) Delicious.

I hope you're right.

♪ Somewhere someone special just for me ♪

♪ Somewhere someone special must be ♪

♪ Somewhere someone special just for me ♪

♪ Somewhere someone ♪

♪ Somewhere someone special must be ♪

♪ Somebody made for me ♪

♪ Somebody made for you ♪

♪ Somebody made for me ♪

♪ Somebody made for you ♪

♪ Ask and you'll receive ♪

♪ Dear God in heaven, won't you help me, please? ♪

♪ Somebody made for you ♪

♪ Somebody made for me ♪

♪ Somebody made for me, somebody made for you ♪

♪ Ask and you'll receive ♪

♪ Dear God in heaven, won't you help me, please? ♪

♪ (DARK THEME MUSIC PLAYS) ♪

CATHERINE: (FRIGHTENED) I'm losing my mind.

You are not here!

WOMAN IN THE WALL: I'm inside the wall.

-(GASPS) -(ELECTRIC SIZZLING)