Original subtitles

(BLASTERS CHARGING)

TORK: Your first mistake was killing my friend.

That was no mistake, human.

And there's your second mistake, Klamulon.

I suppose other species all look alike to you.

But I'm no human.

I am Lieutenant Tork of the planet Mars.

And you've never encountered anything like me before.

(ROARING)

(GROANING)

(SCREAMS)

(GROANS)

-(TRUMPETING) -(EXCLAIMING)

(SCREAMS, GRUNTS)

(TRUMPETS)

(BEAMING)

(GASPS)

Edson Valiant.

He's dead, Tom.

(CAMERA BEEPS)

(ALARM RINGS)

Stuff looks really good, Gar.

That single tear thing. Genius.

Eh, I've had practice.

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

Garfield, Paul, the dailies are spectacular.

I'm so pleased.

-Thanks, Gretchen. -Yeah, thanks.

(CHUCKLES) Everyone said I was a sentimental fool,

but I knew pairing you two was the smart move.

-You handled casting? -At Goodeworld Studios,

Gretchen Goode handles everything.

I wantedST 3016 to recapture thatHello, Megan! magic.

And that's exactly what you two have done.

Hello Megan had magic?

It only lasted one season.

Your mother's show was underappreciated, Garfield.

The chemistry, Paul, between you as Conner Manley

and Marie Logan as Megan Wheeler was truly special.

Well, it may have been a silly '70s sitcom,

but no one can deny we had a fantastic cast.

Lord and Stanyon, Rita Farr, me, and Marie.

There was a lot of talent there.

-And a lot of love. -(CHUCKLING) And a lot of both here as well.

It's like watching father and son trekking through space.

(LAUGHS) Well, I am the kid's godfather,

I remember your christening like it was yesterday.

Rita and I stood up for you

just before Marie moved you both to Greater Bialya.

-Qurac. -Qurac, of course.

And now you're following in Marie's footsteps.

Your mother-- Well, your mother

and your godmother, Rita, would be very proud.

Yeah... I guess. Thanks, Ms. Goode.

Garfield, please.

If you don't start calling me Gretchen, you'll make me cry.

- Noted, Gretchen. Thank you. - Gretchen, a word?

Oh, for the producer, manager, and step-father of my favorite Martian?

As many words as you like, Steven. Just give me a moment.

Oh. Now, Paul. As we were talking about that,

I just want to go over that one more time...

I don't think she's coming back, Mento.

Don't...call me...Mento.

Will you be at the house, tonight?

No, Mento. I have a date.

-Thank God. -Oh, thank God.

-Later, Harvey, great work today. -Really?

Wow! Thanks, Mr. Logan.

(SEAGULLS CAWING)

Okay, M'gann, we're all here. What happened?

I take it your first day at school was a bit "atypical."

-How would I know? Maybe every day-- -MEGAN: I know.

-It was very atypical. -And who is this?

Victor Stone is Victor Stone.

You guys really aren't freaked out by how I look?

-You picked the right crowd. -FRED: Perhaps.

But is Victor Stone freaked out by how Forager looks?

(EXCLAIMS)

Hmm, apparently Victor Stone is.

(STAMMERING) No, no, I'm sorry. You've been great,

you just... caught me off-guard.

-Way off-guard? -Way off-guard.

Ahem. Uh, still haven't heard what happened.

At school today, Violet Harper opened a boom tube

as if Violet Harper was a Mother Box.

ALL: What? VIOLET: Mmm-hmm, it's true.

I didn't know I could do it, until I did it.

Then it seemed, well, natural.

But even for a meta-human of your abilities,

-how is that possible? -Maybe I know.

When we were at Bedlam Central,

I spotted a dissected Mother Box.

Of course! That must be the device Baron Bedlam gave to Doctor X.

Simon tried to learn its secrets

but only succeed in destroying it.

There was a burst of energy, then the machine went dead.

Not just dead. Murdered.

Mother Boxes are living computers.

That burst of energy?

It was probably Mother Box's soul escaping.

Ugh, hello, Megan?

Doctor Fate sensed an old soul in Halo's very young body.

And the first time I saw Halo, Vertigo's crew was burying her.

Bedlam wasn't in the business of ditching powerful meta-humans

so they must have legit thought she was dead.

Maybe Gabrielle Daou did die.

But the Mother Box's soul energy or whatever you want to call it,

merged with Gabrielle's body and resurrected it as--

As me! I told you I wasn't Gabrielle.

You did. Over and over.

I'm sorry I didn't understand.

JACE: The trauma must have wiped their combined minds clean.

She'd get flashes of Gabrielle's residual memories,

flashes of the Mother Box's knowledge.

Everything else she'd have to learn anew.

It doesn't upset you that Gabrielle is dead?

Strangely, no.

I suppose it's because you are the only you I've ever known.

(CHUCKLES SOFTLY) Besides,

I have grown accustomed to such strangeness.

Yeah, well, newbie to strangeness here.

What does all of this have to do with me?

PERDITA: Uh, hey, so sorry I'm running late, Gar,

The trade conference was endless.

No worries, Perdita. The club will still be there.

PERDITA: Oh, you're a doll. I'll be right out.

Looking like a princess, I'll bet.

(SIGHS) Or a queen.

Hey, goode goggles. They as cool as everyone says?

PERDITA: I only just received them as a gift. I haven't even tried them yet.

Mind if I check 'em out, Your Majesty?

PERDITA: You are not allowed to call me that,

-or it's off with your head. (CHUCKLES) -Oh, big talk.

-The goggles? -PERDITA: Be my guest.

Cool, thanks.

(STARTING MUSIC)

(WHOOSHES)

Space Trek. Hey, maybe I can play myself.

TOM: More Klamulons! Fire at will, Lieutenant.

Ha! I am playing myself.

(GAME SOUNDS)

Yeah, got 'em. That's right, Tork rocks.

This is actually pretty crash.

I'm already on level two.

But, Violet, you've never been able to heal anyone but yourself.

Well, she healed me. That's why I--

Actually, I don't believe I did heal you, Victor.

I think I only made adjustments to your internal technology.

More proof she's a living Mother Box.

Whatever. Look, I just want to get back to my actual life.

I'm this close to a college scholarship,

and maybe even a career in pro football.

So, I need one of you freaks to get this tech off me.

We're trying to figure this out.

And now he'll tell you to be patient.

Yeah, patient is not going to cut it.

You can talk about all these Mother and Father Boxes later--

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who said anything about a Father Box?

(SUPER-CYCLE REVS)

-Whoa, what's this now? -Sphere?

What's going on?

Super-Cycle, what are you doing?

(REVS)

(TECH HUMS)

(DEEPER VOICE) You dare threaten me?

(GRUNTS) Both of you. Stop!

Fool! You seek to intervene? Then suffer for it.

HALO: No!

(SPEAKING OTHER LANGUAGE)

-(TECH POWERING DOWN) -(GASPS)

(NORMAL VOICE) Sorry. Sorry.

-MEGAN: Conner! -I'm fine.

-Super-Cycle, stand down. -(SUPER-CYCLE REVS, BEEPING)

Shh, shh. It's all right now.

I swear, that wasn't me attacking.

No, it was the tech within you, taking control.

But I have cleansed you again.

Yeah, well, clearly a Halo cleanse is only a temporary solution.

For the time being, you two had better stick close to each other.

-Understood, I will stick close. -What about his father?

-Shouldn't we bring Vic back-- -My father did this to me!

-All the more reason. -Look, I'm 18.

You can kick me out, but you can't make me go back.

-No one's kicking anyone out. -(SIGHS)

MEGAN: (TELEPATHICALLY) Guess we're adopting another stray.

(VIDEO GAME BEEPING)

-I'm ready. -Just a sec. I'm at the final level.

-(DINGS) -(STATIC)

(HIGH-PITCHED BEEPING)

I need to go to Encino now.

I thought you said the club's in Hollywood--

I need to go to Encino, now!

(LAUGHING)

-(SHORT CIRCUITS) -(GASPS)

KID FLASH: He's dead, Tom.

(COMPUTERS BEEPING)

Hmm?

(CHUCKLES) Crash.

Those words you spoke when you were cleansing Vic,

-what do they mean? -I don't understand. What words?

MEGAN: (TELEPATHICALLY) I'm not kicking anyone out.

I know these are extraordinary circumstances

and I know, with Superman in space,

you've been wanting to step up and do more.

CONNER:But you're frustrated. I get it.

My one mission with Dick turned into this never-ending thing.

MEGAN:A very needy and complicated never-ending thing.

Conner, since we've been engaged

we've hardly spent any time together.

-Let alone, alone time. -CONNER: You're right.

We had a system. The Watchtower was for missions,

and Happy Harbor was our own Fortress of Solitude.

Where we could just be us. But it's okay.

-I know what we need. -MEGAN: Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

-Date night! -A secret base!

-BOTH: What? -(WOLF GROANS)

-(BLASTERS CHARGING) -The Reach-- (STAMMERS)

I mean, the Klamulons are attacking.

I got this, Captain.

-(SCREAMS) -She's dead, Tork.

-(SCREAMS) -He's dead, Tork.

(SCREAMS)

He's dead, Tork.

(GROANS)

KID FLASH: Wow, we're losing everyone.

It's a good thing they were already dead. (CHUCKLES)

So, who's next? You or me?

KID FLASH: Artemis is so gonna kill me for this.

Just tell them. Okay?

Eh, guess it's me.

ARTEMIS: Where's Wally?

(SNIFFLING) No. No.

(SOBBING)

(SIGHS)

-(MONKEY CHATTERS) -Ha-ha, Monkey!

-(CONTINUES CHATTERING) -Oh, I gotta catch him.

Tired of this show already?

Well, let's see what else is on.

-(OPENING THEME PLAYING) -♪ D-O-M

♪ P-A-T-R-O-L

♪ Doom Patrol, go! ♪

(MONKEY CHATTERING)

(LAUGHING) Monkey! Hey, bro, where'd you go?

PERDITA: (ECHOING) Garfield, what's wrong?

Garfield, stop this. You're scaring me.

(REPEATS) No, no, no, no.

-Your pulse, it's so faint. -(SIGHS)

Garfield!

ANNOUNCER: And now, back toDoom Patrol Go!

-Now, who was I looking for? -(DINGS)

An elephant never forgets. So, now I'll have to rember.

-Rember me? -Rita.

-I mean, Elasti-Girl. -That is correct.

Now, let me introduce you to the rest of the Doom Patrol.

Chief, Robotman, Negative Woman.

-Welcome to the team, Beast Boy. -Boo-yah!

NEGATIVE WOMAN: Whatever.

And my husband, Steve Dayton.

Also known as The Magnificent Mento.

-(ELECTRICITY CRACKLING) -Charmed.

I'm sure.

Garfield, it broke my heart when I heard about Marie.

ALL: Sorry your mom died.

-She was my best friend and I miss her terribly. -(SNIFFLING)

I could never take her place.

But I'm really going to try and be a good mom to you.

-(SNIFFLES) -Thanks, Rita.

Now, wait here, all right?

We all have to go on a mission and die.

No!

Boo-yahscadoo!

-Doom Patrol, go! -(TAPPING)

-(OPENING THEME PLAYING) -♪ D-O-M

♪ P-A-T-R-O-L

♪ Doom Patrol, go! ♪

♪ We are called the Doom-Doom Patrol-trol

♪ We'll go off and die on a mission

♪ But that's just how we ro-oll

♪ Not sure what else you could expect

♪ When there's Doom right in our name

♪ Oh, go figure We were obsessed with playing

♪ The Doom Card Game

-(BLOWING NOSE) -♪ No point shedding tears now, dear Garfield

♪ No searching for loopholes

♪ Just wave goodbye to your second mom

♪ And avoid all Doom Patrols! ♪

Elasti-Girl, I-- Rita!

Please, I lost one mom, I can't lose you, too.

Okay, patrol, spell it out!

♪ D-I-E D-I-E

♪ D-I-E

♪ Let's die ♪

ROBOTMAN: Yeah! We're not gonna make it.

No. No, no. I can't watch this. I gotta get outta here.

It's okay, Gar. Now that both your moms are dead,

you can come live with your big sister.

Hey, yeah. 'Cause...

'Cause I'm your brother from another mother and another planet.

Where are you going, Mento?

Hello, Garfield, I'm chickening out.

How else could I hide in shame for years,

then resurface, claim dubious parental rights,

take you away from Miss Martian,

and exploit your meta-powers to make me rich? (ECHOING)

Wow, he's a jerk.

-Noted. -(IN WALLY'S VOICE) You didn't have to go with Mento.

-M'Gann was totally willing to fight for you. -That's true.

I was 14. I didn't have a choice.

Oh, really? Well, no point in sticking with her, then.

-M'Gann! -Might as well channel surf.

-(THEME MUSIC PLAYING) -♪ Hello, Megan ♪

Megan, Conner. Pease, I don't know what to do.

-Stop! -Are you kidding me?

This green kid needs a hospital.

That green kid is my brother. I know what he needs.

-(GRUNTS) -Hey, put us down!

Thanks, guys. We appreciate your service, but we got this.

Oh, and we'll return the gurney later.

I'm sorry, I called you and 911.

-I wasn't sure what he needed. -You did the right thing.

Gar's in a psychic fugue state.

I have to help him find his way out.

-You're my anchor. -Always.

Then I'm going in.

(DOOR OPENS)

(CANNED APPLAUSE)

Mom, Rita, you're both here.

-You know this kid? -Do I know him?

Um, no, never seen him before.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Sure you have the right house, kid?

-Yeah, see, uh... -Sure you're even born yet?

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

Come on, bestie.

Don't you think you've forgotten something important?

Hello, Megan!

I totally forgot I have all this fresh honey.

-(GASPING) -(CANNED LAUGHTER)

-(KNOCKING AT DOOR) -I'll get it.

-(CANNED APPLAUSE) -Uh-oh.

Hey, Megan, Queen Bee wants her honey back.

-AUDIENCE: Ooh! -No, you can't have her back!

AUDIENCE: Aww.

Sorry, you weren't in this episode.

(CANNED LAUGHTER)

She's right. So let's watch an episode you were in.

(STATIC)

-(BIRD CHIRPING) -(TIRES SCREECHING IN DISTANCE)

Mom?

-Mom, where are you? -(TIRES SCREECHING)

-Mom! -(CRASHES)

(WHEELS CREAKING)

(SOBBING)

-(PLAY CHEWS) -Stop.

Stop. I'm done. Change the channel!

-Nothing else on. -(TEARFULLY) Then shut it off.

Okey-doke.

What? What is it?

I can't hear his heartbeat.

You're not giving up, are you?

I would not have picked you as my Beast Boy, if I thought you were a quitter.

-What you talkin' 'bout, Monkey? -(CANNED LAUGHTER)

-You didn't pick me. I got a Martian blood transfusion. -Martian blood?

Okay, sure, that helped. But face it, kid,

you were chosen by the magical, mystical monkey god, moi.

Why do you think you can only change into animals?

And do the words, "conservation of mass" mean anything to you at all?

Might even be my magic that intervened

and messed up those goggles to keep you from being brainwashed for good.

-Uh, noted. -Face it!

You're Beast Boy, because I made you Beast Boy.

I just needed a little help.

-From M'Gann? -From you.

I made you Beast Boy, but you made yourself a hero.

So tell me, has that really changed?

Wait, wait, wait. Wait a minute. Wait a minute. If you're the monkey god,

why do you sound like Wally West?

Hey, don't blame me, your mind chose this voice.

My mind? So, are you real? Or is this all in my head?

Don't know, kid. Why not ask her?

Mom?

Nah, that's not my mom. That's my beautiful sister, M'Gann.

Garfield, I found you.

But you didn't really need me. You solved it yourself, didn't you?

I think so.

See, I've always thought it would be cool to be on TV like Mom.

And for a while, it did make me feel close to her again.

Ugh. Or maybe it just distracted me,

let me push away the ghosts of her and Rita and Wally, and everyone else I've lost.

But I can see now I was chasing a dream,

or running from a nightmare, or just feeling the mode.

I'm ready to get back to reality, now.

Ready to get back to the life.

(SNAPS FINGERS)

Are you all right? I was so worried.

I'm crash. Feeling more aster than I have for a while, actually.

Hmm?

Sorry, my English. What is "aster"?

I'll explain later.

I figured out a lot in there.

Starting with this.

At Goodeworld Studios, Gretchen Goode handles everything.

Meaning my boss is one of the bad guys.

Debrief later, but first,

thanks for sticking by me,

Your Majesty.

(CHUCKLES) I warned you what would happen if you called me that.

Big talk.

MEGAN: (TELEPATHICALLY, SIGHS) Now this is as close to date night

as I'm going to get, isn't it?

-CONNER:All the kids are doing it. -(MEGAN CHUCKLES)

(THEME MUSIC PLAYING)

(SUPER-CYCLE BEEPING)

(BEEPING)