Original subtitles

- Spare some change. - Yeah, okay.

Okay.

Perfect.

Nope.

Ooh, ooh.

Sorry, how much is it?

- 20 pounds. - It's a bit much, is it not?

It's very in this season.

Do you know what, oh, what the hell,

it's the season after all.

- Oh. - There you go.

- Oh, merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Thank you.

You're welcome.

- Merry Christmas. - Same to ya.

What was that?

- Oh, be nice. - Seriously though?

- Is that mulled wine? - Ah, Gluhwein!

The original recipe as created

by my great, great grandmother,

passed down generation to generation, slowly honed-

- Yeah, okay, okay, okay, we get it.

You want to buy some?

Or do you wish to continue

to cast doubt on its fine heritage, hmm?

Sorry, yeah, yeah, I'll take one.

- Slainte. - Uh-uh.

Sorry.

There you go, keep the change.

Danke.

All right, Hen, how's yer maw?

I can't wait until tomorrow,

I'm so excited to see this, here.

What is this?

It's an early Christmas present.

Oh Nicki.

It has a compass on it,

so you'll never lose your way.

Thank you.

Um,

you know what, I've actually

kind of got something for you as well.

What did you get me?

Is it the silver?

Oh,

what is that?

Robert, what are you doing?

I'm getting my best trousers dirty.

So I've been contemplating the best way to bring this up.

It's okay if you couldn't get me

the 12 carat earrings.

Nicki,

would you do me honor of becoming-

- Rob no, stop.

What?

We've talked about this.

I'm not ready.

That was three years ago.

I'm sorry.

Look Nicki, I love you,

and I don't see how we need anything else.

Rob, I do love you.

I just,

I don't know if I'm in love you anymore.

So where's this going?

I don't know.

There you go, 14.80.

Okay.

Let's see.

Oh, right.

- Keep the change. - Cheers, thanks a lot.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Hello?

Are you one of Santa's elves?

Why do you say that?

Because you have a funny suit on.

- Oh. - Noah, who's there?

It's one of Santa's elves!

Him, can I help you? I.

Sorry, I'm, I think I'm lost.

I'm actually just looking for=

Who's at the door, babe?

Jen, Jen?

What's going on here?

Go inside, pal, finish getting ready for Santa, hey?

Do you two know each other?

Yeah, you know, we used to work together,

you know at the.

Why are you here?

- So you're his? - His wife, yes.

Great.

No, 'cause I've heard nothing about you.

What's going on here?

I'm sure Jen's just dropping off some Christmas presents.

Can you give this to Santa for me?

Sure.

I'll give this to Santa for you.

Merry Christmas.

Bastard!

Not you!

Although all men are bastards just so you know,

no offense.

None taken.

What?

No offense taken.

Oh right.

You don't look very happy

for a man holding an engagement ring.

No.

Right, I'll leave you to it.

If you wouldn't mind, yeah.

- Sorry. - It's all right.

I think we missed the last train.

Really?

The last train isn't due 'til six.

I've been sitting here for two hours.

The snow must have taken some of the lines out,

nothing's getting out this far.

Well, that is great.

Of all the days to get stuck out here.

It's not ideal.

Yeah.

So where are you heading to?

Glasgow.

Same.

Do you not have anywhere out here to stay?

No.

Me neither,

not anymore.

Hi, I'm Jen.

Rob.

You know Christmas is the best time of year

to make new friends, right?

Is that right?

Absolutely.

Especially when you drop a few.

You know it's like teeth,

when one falls out, another moves in.

Out with the old, in with the new, all of that.

It's the most wonderful time of the year!

Christmas is supposed to be about joy,

giving, and being surrounded by those you love,

or you know, those you have literally just met.

You.

You talk a lot!

Yeah, just trying to fill that dead air.

So why are you here alone on Christmas Eve?

Let's just say today didn't go as planned.

You and me both.

Yeah?

Like I said, all men are-

Illegitimate, I got it.

Let's team up!

I beg your pardon?

Look we are both going the same place,

so surely if we pool our resources we can get home.

Come on, no-one ought to be alone at Christmas.

And say we do,

am I gonna have to listen to more cliches like that?

Without a doubt!

It is the season!

I'm a bit of a Christmas nut,

just wait until you get to know me.

All right.

Come on.

Okay, what's our game plan?

Oh, bingo!

Local taxi company.

- A taxi, You're kidding? - Why?

'Cause it'll cost a fortune.

It's Christmas, I'm sure we can haggle.

I promise I won't break it.

You're wasting your time.

I'm trying to save the day.

- Hello there, Taxis.| - Hello?

Hi, yeah, can we have a taxi at the train station, please?

- Aye, all right, pet. - Yeah,

it's going to Glasgow.

- Hello? - Brilliant.

What is it?

Wait a minute,

would you like the regular sleigh or the estate?

- What was that? - Do I need to go

and get Rudolf out of his stable?

Glasgow, oh that's brilliant.

She wanted to go to Glasgow.

What did you expect on Christmas Eve?

It's a 6-hour round trip for the driver, who would risk it?

Well, you know what about festive spirit,

goodwill to all men and all that?

It froze to death 20 minutes ago.

Come on, what are we doing?

Well, do you have anyone that can come and pick us up?

- Parents? - They're on a cruise, yours?

Don't drive.

- Who doesn't drive nowadays. - Yeah all right, Judgey.

Yes, I know where we can get a car.

Thought you had nowhere to go.

Would you just trust me, and come on.

Do you know what, stay here,

freeze your plums off, I'm going.

Okay, okay, coming.

What are we doing here?

Procuring transport.

Procuring?

Yeah, I'll be just a second.

No, I don't want it, it's your usual excuse.

It's your usual reply, because you always do it.

Fancy women comes to the house.

Fancy women?

What fancy women, how do you get there?

And don't tell me to move,

you always say that.

I don't know why.

Oh, come on, don't start.

We have our son here.

Don't bring him in,

what's Noah got to do with it.

What has Noah got to do with it?

She met him at the door.

Is it my fault?

Jackpot!

Elf?

Noah, Isn't it?

Why are you in here?

Oh,

I am doing some recon

for Santa, I'm working for him.

Yeah, so I have to get him some keys.

- Magic keys. - Yeah, yeah.

Not all houses have got chimneys,

so I need to give magic keys to Santa,

so that he can get in on Christmas Eve.

But why can't Santa use his own magic keys?

Yeah he can, but every house has got a different lock,

so I need to come in and get the keys for that house.

Noah, why are you hiding in a cupboard?

Because my Mum and Dad are shouting.

Oh.

Yeah.

Noah,

You are the best boy.

Seriously, Santa talks about you all the time,

you are at the top of his nice list.

I need to get out of here so that I can get your letter

to Santa so you need to help me get out

without any grown-ups seeing me.

Why can't the grown-ups see you?

Because grown-ups ruin magic

Oh, yeah.

Yeah, so if you check out there,

and make sure that there's no adults out there,

- can you do that for me? - Mm-hmm.

Come on, Elfie.

Thank you so much, Noah!

Merry Christmas!

Mm-hmm.

Hi.

This one.

Oh you can't be serious?

It's fine, let's go

Get that heater on, it's freezing.

I don't get it,

if you had a car waiting a few streets away,

then why were you waiting for a train?

It's my ex's.

It can't have been that bad a breakup

if he let you borrow his car.

Yeah right, remember how I mentioned

- that all men are bastards. - Yeah, yeah,

years, within two minutes of meeting me,

- you said it twice in fact - Yeah.

Well, mostly I was talking about him.

You know, I am sure he will understand

that when he finds out he loaned me his car.

Do you mean he doesn't know?

Not yet, no.

Have we just stolen this car?

Stolen, such an ugly word.

No, you're shitting me?!

Oh God I'm in a stolen car

It's gonna be the first Christmas I spend not just alone,

but alone inside of a prison cell.

You, you're an actual crazy person.

Would you calm down.

I mean so what.

So what.

I hope he cries like a baby when he finds this is gone.

He is a lying, cheating bastard.

He deserves everything he gets!

- Jen! - Oh, he loves this car.

- Jen! - Well,

he doesn't know the meaning of the word, love!

I am gonna roll this '60s piece of shit

- over a motherf cliff - - Jen!

Jen watch the road, stop!

My God, I'm sorry, I'm so sorry,

I'm so sorry.

That's okay.

Would you like me to drive?

No, I'm okay, I'm okay, I,

I can do it.

Okay.

Gosh, the weather is horrible

Its fine, it's just because we're up high.

All Scottish mountains have snow on the top.

I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were a meteorologist

Will you please, please!

Don't make me beat you to death with a thesaurus

Pardon me, I'll try and limit myself

to less than two syllables from now on, shall I?

Is something coming towards us?

Oh.

Oh!

They found us!

Shit.

You all right there.

Hi.

That's a fancy car you've got,

you don't see many of them on the road.

- Oh God. - Oh right.

I thought they were pretty common.

No.

No, a car like that definitely stands out.

Right, does it?

I think it would best if you both stepped out

of the vehicle and come out into the police car

Look, this was all her idea,

I had absolutely nothing to do with me!

- What are you saying, lad? - Would you be cool.

I'm just saying it was her that took the car!

I would have stopped her if I'd known!

What are you saying?

He's saying he wanted me to bring the Jeep!

But you know what, I didn't think it was gonna be this bad,

so I convinced him to come in this.

Who are you two making for?

- Prison. - Glasgow.

Glasgow, no chance.

It's only going to get worse.

the road's a bit of a mess,

best give up before you get stuck.

Where have you just come from?

Bridge of Orchy,

but it wasn't so bad down there,

it's up here the snow's falling fast.

I think we're gonna take a chance, thanks though

Oh, you're mad!

You'll never make it.

Find somewhere warm and bed down for the night

We'll be okay, thanks.

- You total grass! - Are you kidding?

We were just stopped by the police in a stolen car.

You totally stuck me in it!

And you totally just made me an accessory

- to grand theft auto! - And yet, not in prison!

You're welcome.

Look, let's just get going

- Whoa, what are you doing? - What?

He's literally just said, the road is un-passable.

He didn't say it was un-passable.

He said the snow was thick up here.

We'll be fine once we got off the mountains.

And its worth the risk?

Well, it's either carry on, or sleep in the car.

Now, I'm happy with either

as long as you don't mind getting cozy.

Just.

Just drive

slowly.

And the first sign of the weather turning bad,

we turn around, agreed?

Trust me.

Last time you said that you stole a car

are we stuck?

Yeah, it's just sliding.

Stop, stop, stop it.

You'll burn out the clutch

Can you see the road?

- No. - No.

Well that's that then, we're not going anywhere.

Jesus Christ!

I said we should turn back.

We were warned, but did you listen, did you?

Hell no, and now here we are,

freezing to death in the middle of nowhere!

At least I don't have to worry about going to prison

for grand theft auto, but it's a shame in a way,

'cause Big Bobo my cellmate could have kept me warm.

Do you know what?

I know I've only known you about five minutes,

but I've got a wee observation to make.

You are incapable of listening to anyone!

Trains canceled, taxis say it's too far,

the police say it's too dangerous,

but you!, you steal your ex's car,

and you almost kill us, you're certifiable.

No, no, no, no, don't you cry.

Look, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, all right?

I know I can be a bit of a dick but please,

please don't cry

Oh, I'm just screwing with you.

I can cry on cue.

It's kind of a party trick.

But you're really mean.

You can't speak to people like that.

Seriously?

Yeah, don't be a dick.

That's good.

Don't be a dick.

Do you feel better?

Do you know where we are?

I think so, I'm pretty sure there's a village

just up ahead.

How does that help?

'Cause nothing is getting out this far.

Well, they will obviously have a recovery truck,

or a plow, or something.

Like these wee villages need to be prepared

for this sort of stuff

Yeah, we'll just call them up,

we'll say "Hey, can you send your recovery truck,

or your plow, or something on Christmas Eve?"

Or are you just planning on stealing that too?

Why, are you gonna grass me in again?

I don't see how I'm the bad guy here when you stole a car.

Look, if you aren't calling the fuzz,

I really wanna go home for Christmas,

so can we please just try?

Well, we sure as shit can't stay here

Christ almighty, have you got enough stuff?

No, probably not.

What are you?

Do you want me to help you with some of those bags?

No, I can manage.

So, what happened?

I think it's a combination of the low body,

and the tires just not being equipped.

I know, I mean you obviously weren't supposed to be

on your own on Christmas Eve waiting for a train,

so what happened?

Oh come on, your story cannot be as bad as mine.

Oh really.

So what's your story?

So you see?

You don't wanna talk about it any more than I do.

Smart arse.

Look, will you please just let me carry

some of those bags.

I think I can carry a couple of bags by myself.

Shit.

Sorry, what was that?

Smart arse!

- Are you all right? - Yes, I'm fine, thank you.

Jesus Christ.

Okay, if it stops you from falling on your arse,

you can carry some of my bags

Why are you carrying all that crap?

I'm not, you are.

Right.

Yeah well, not all of us are as good at being alone

as you are.

Oh God, I'm sorry, that came out wrong.

- I didn't mean that-- It's fine!

- I have like a-- Forget it!

Let's get going, we need to get to the village

before it gets dark.

Sure.

God, I picked a great time to quit smoking.

Yeah, I think we're lost.

I might actually be able to do something about that.

My watch has a compass.

O fancy.

Yeah, it's also only a couple of hours old.

Are you sure you know how to work it?

Yes, I've got my Gold Duke of Edinburgh.

Oh well, I feel completely reassured.

- We're going that way. - If you say so.

Trust me.

Lead on, McDuff.

oh.

- Good evening. - Are you lost?

- No. - Yes.

Out the way, come on in, don't be shy, your mother wasnae.

Sorry about them, they're harmless, mostly.

Now, how can I help you?

Our car got stranded a few miles back,

do you have a tow, or a plow, or anything nearby?

There sure is, round at McLarnon's Garage

Brilliant, do you have a number?

I'll give it to you.

They'll be open first thing on Boxing Day

Boxing Day?

No, I need to go home tonight!

Oh, I'm sorry, pet, that's just not going to happen.

Look, I know it's Christmas Eve,

but my friend here really needs to get home.

- We'll pay anything. - Oh,

it's not a matter of money, son.

- It's snowed in. - Snowed in.

The snow plow is snowed in, how's that even possible?

Garage door won't open.

The plow is on the wrong side of the door.

Look, I'm sorry, but I think this is it.

That's okay,

I was daft to think we could get back anyway.

Do you have any rooms left?

You're in luck.

There is one room left at the Inn!

- One room? - Mm-hmm.

The last room in the house.

Well, we'll just have to make do then, it's a twin yeah?

No, it's a, it's a double.

Right.

It's fine, we'll take it.

You know what, I'll just kip down here in the reception

Oh, I'm very sorry, that is against hotel policy.

Come on, we'll top and tail,

you know with pillow dividers

like you did when you were a kid.

I don't know.

I promise my feet don't smell.

You know, I've seen a lot of things from behind this desk.

A lot of beautiful women trying to avoid getting into bed

with strange men, but never the other way round.

You calling me strange?

You calling me beautiful?

I'll need a credit card, or debit card,

or pound of flesh.

Just my wee joke, I prefer plastic.

- I'll get this. - No seriously let me.

No Honestly.

I'll get the room, you got the car.

Touche!

It is your card, right?

Well, it's top of the stairs, last room on the right.

Thanks.

There's just one more thing.

Merry Christmas!

- Merry Christmas! - Yeah, thank you.

20 quid says he gets his hole before midnight.

I'll take that bet.

30 quid, did you say?

- 20. - 20?

All right, here you are.

You still owe me 50 quid.

What number did he say again?

He didn't, he said last on the left.

Are you sure about that,

I think he said right?

I know my left from my right.

Okay, well you might wanna have a little word

with your fancy compass-watch thing.

Why?

Because this isn't Bridge of Orchy, it's Glencoe,

we've dumped the car and doubled back on ourselves!

And how is that my fault.

"Ooh, I got my gold Duke of Edinburgh,"

who reads a compass upside down!

I just don't wanna talk to you, all right?

- Chris. - Ow.

Chris, you come back here, and apologize to this lady.

I'm so sorry, apparently I can't do anything right

- at the moment. - No, don't worry about it.

- Teenage boys are tough. - Well yes,

and then eventually they grow up to be adults.

Nothing worse than adult males, they're the worst!

- It must be this one. - No, it's the left

All right.

Well, this is.

It is nothing that a bit of tinsel

and a tree wouldn't fix.

Oh excellent, well, give me five minutes,

I'll pop out, I'll chop down a pine tree.

We could plant it in the toilet.

Awesome.

What's in these bags?

What's in these?

It's undelivered Christmas presents.

- Undelivered? - Yes,

undelivered.

Okay, well, you can have the bed,

I'll be fine here

It is really coming down out there.

The shower's free.

No, you're all right.

You should really get changed, you'll get ill.

Yeah, yeah, well, I haven't got anything else.

There you go, Merry Christmas.

Is this not for someone?

No, not anymore.

Are you sure, because won't someone?

No, away and get yourself sorted, go.

Right, right.

Maybe we can head down to the bar, and get some dinner.

- Yip. - Yeah, maybe a wee dram

- to warm us up. - Sure.

'Cause we deserve it, you drink whisky?

Oh, can - what are you doing?

That's perfect.

No, no, it's not happening, absolutely not.

Oh.

Yours?

Yeah.

Sorry.

- Sorry, I didn't mean to-- No, no,

it's fine, it's fine.

- It's just-- No, no, no.

You don't have to explain this.

I don't even know what I'm still doing with it,

It's bit of a story.

- Do you want to? - No.

No, thank you.

I'm fine.

Did you say something about whiskey.

Listen, I am here-

- Jen,

whiskey.

"Night of the Living Dead" in here.

Okay, well, we'll soon fix that.

Merry Christmas!

Here's to you, pet.

Come on, we'll go get a drink.

I want my 20 quid back by the way.

He's pulling heehaw in that jumper, what a turn off.

Oh, dinnae lose your nerve, the night is young.

She's hardly setting the world on fire wearing hers.

Evening all.

- Good evening. - Good evening.

- Hi. - Settling in?

Chosen your side of the bed?

Yes, thank you.

He's a bit touchy.

Oh well, your pillow dividers will take good care of that!

We'll have two single malts please.

Any preference?

- Surprise us. - But nothing too peaty!

Ice, water?

Neat for me, anything for you?

More whisky?

Easy done, two large whiskeys coming right up.

So the weather get the better of you, did it?

You could say that.

Thank you.

What about you, car trouble?

Oh no, no, no, Frank and I come here every Christmas.

Aye, we'd be buggered if I was left in charge of a Turkey.

Oh, that's no way to talk about your ex wife.

How long have you two known each other?

Wow, over 60 years now.

62-and-a-half years.

That is a long time.

Aye, it is,

well, you see my wife died six years ago,

and Frank can't stomach another divorce lawyer, so

- here we are. - Aye, here we are.

Two rowdy old buggers giving it laldy

until we kick the bucket dancing.

Well, I can drink to that.

- Slainte. - Slainte.

- Slainte. - Slainte.

She's a bonny lass

See, the bet's still on.

Mm-hmm.

I can't imagine knowing someone for 60 years.

62-and-a-half.

How's the whiskey.

Mm, smooth.

caramel tones.

A fine choice.

You don't have a clue what you're talking about, do you?

No, I have no idea.

I just like the taste.

It's not very festive, is it?

No, it's not, maybe you could help them out.

Oh, I don't think so.

No, then what's with the guitar?

I don't really play anymore.

I used to jam with Mark.

- Mark? - The bastard.

Oh, right, him.

Yeah, played together years back.

Were you any good?

We weren't bad,

Bot would get occasionally one point.

So what happened?

Just life.

Bills needed paying.

I got busy with work.

He got busy with other stuff.

I was only ever okay,

I was never gonna make a living at it.

Do you sing?

I did.

Oh, go and get it,

seriously I'd love to hear you play something.

No, I only play for me, myself, and I.

Well that's a shame.

Really I wasn't that good.

Music is good for the soul.

Yeah.

I just don't feel like I've got much to sing about

I know what you mean, but sing anyway.

There are sad songs.

To sad songs.

So what is it that you do for a living?

Me, finance Manager

- Really? - Yeah.

I had you down as a psychiatrist.

Do I talk that much?

No, not enough, you listen.

Okay, time for a role reversal.

I'll be the doctor, you be the rich patient.

Really, and do you charge a steep, hourly rate?

Absolutely, you finance bankers get paid way too much.

And I feel that you have got a lot buried underneath this-

- Tough exterior?

No, I was gonna say jumper.

Do you know actually the whiskey and the cold

has confused the hell out of my bladder.

So I'll be right back.

Oh, I will have whatever you're having,

just not the cullen skink.

Can I interest you

in some traditional Scottish delicacies?

- What's good? - It's all edible.

Fish and chips.

No, sorry.

No, sorry, all gone

Butter chicken?

Sorry nae butter

or chicken

- Steak pie? - Aye,

wait, no I had the last one.

- Was it good? - A bIt dry, truth be told.

Well that's reassuring.

Whoa, whoa, steady on there, honey.

Can I?

Yeah, let's see, yeah.

Trust me, you will thank me later.

Chin up.

So are you trying to impress someone?

No.

Under the, keep still.

Is it the young lad out there?

Mm-hmm.

There we are, less is more.

You're way too pretty to be covering up with too much crap.

You sound just like my dad!

Yeah, well, sometimes, occasionally, once in a while,

dad's are right.

Just don't ever admit it to them.

So, are you gonna make your move then?

I don't know, I don't even know his name.

Oh, it's Chris, I assume Christopher.

Chris?

- I'm Jen. - Clara.

Chris and Clara.

It's got a nice ring to it.

Like Bodger and Badger

What?

Oh, nevermind, it's a generational thing.

Go get him.

Someone's Christmas wish should come true.

I don't know.

Well, if he tells me to get lost?

Then you've learned a valuable lesson in life.

Love hurts.

Wow, rude and unnecessary.

Well, just stop filling the lassie's head

full of nonsense.

There's no such thing as a happy ever after.

Don't listen to her.

Like if he tells you to get lost, he's an idiot.

But if you miss out, because you're too scared to try,

then you're an idiot.

Thanks I think.

You are welcome, I am here all night weather dependent.

Okay, Clara.

Everybody loves a festive romance.

cullen skink?

Aye, we can do that, aye.

- How is it? - Wet.

Great, helpful, two of those please?

Nae bother.

So what have we got?

Ah.

Was there a particular reason

you didn't want the cullen skink?

I hate seafood, why?

Shit.

No, that's okay, based on the rest of the menu,

I don't think that soup has ever seen a fish

in its entire life so you're probably fine.

So we've got Sullen Skank for dinner?

Yeah,

and soup.

You know your self-loathing

has actually made your jokes better.

So where were we?

Oh, we were talking about your music.

Oh, I thought we'd covered that.

Okay.

So why is your ex a bastard?

The usual story.

Boy meets girl.

Boy and girl gig,

Girl falls for boy.

Boy has a secret family.

All right.

That old classic.

- Sorry. - It's all right.

Were you together long?

Five years.

Do you know we actually met at an open mic night.

I should have clicked when all the time we spent together

was at his holiday home up here,

and not at his place,

but I didn't.

We even talked about getting married,

and then today,

I come up to the holiday home,

and I'm greeted by his wife and kid.

How's that for screwed up?

What a dick.

Yeah.

Right, your turn.

The ring, tell me about your, who is she?

Yeah, to be honest,

I'd rather just forget about that just now.

I just wanna erase this whole day.

If only we could put that on our Christmas list.

I know.

Maybe we could still ask Santa for a time machine!

Don't be so ridiculous.

Look, he will have already left.

You know I don't know about you,

but I could do with another drink.

Good idea.

It's my round!

Is it me, or is this place severely understaffed.

Well it's not exactly "Friday Night at The Apollo," is it?

- Hey, excuse me. - Hey.

- Can I maybe ask a favor? - Absolutely.

Do you think you could play something

a little bit more festive?

Was it something I said?

Anna give you the cold shoulder?

A bit frosty, yeah.

Well, she's been here, what, three days now,

and hardly spoken to a soul.

Aye, the poor lassie she told me that-

- Come on now, it's not your story to tell.

Right you are, I'll just shut up, and drink my drink.

- All right, cheers. - Slainte.

Speaking of, what do you actually have to do

to get a drink around here.

I heard the chef walked out this morning.

Worried he was gonna get stuck here and not get home.

He had the right idea.

Apparently, it's just the manager left,

pulling double duty.

- I'm Jim, by the way. - Rob,

how do you do?

Enjoying our Highland Christmas?

Not quite.

So do you come up here every Christmas?

First time actually.

Spending it with my daughter,

she was in Inverness with her mom.

Oh, right.

You got kids?

No, no, no, no kids.

Well, you won't understand until you're a dad,

but let me tell you this.

No woman will ever break your heart like your own daughter!

Anyway, have a good one!

Who puts an orange down a toilet

Yes.

- There we go. - Good idea.

- There we are. - Here.

- Two for me, thank you. - Ooh, greedy.

Ne for each hand.

Gosh, that's a bit generous.

Don't leave us out.

And there we are now.

That's you, that's you, and there's yourself.

Now, there we go.

Now, I'll tell him when he comes out of the bog.

- Bottoms up. - Cheers.

Cheers.

It was me that put in the orange.

Ooh, thanks.

You're welcome.

I asked the band to play something

a little bit more festive

before people in here starts slashing their wrists

It couldn't hurt.

I didn't mean to push you there.

I just figured it's better to let the bad feelings out,

you know rather than let them build up inside.

Yes, it's just, I don't really know you.

Oh yeah, of course, sorry, yeah.

We went to high school together,

proper high school sweethearts.

Okay, I was the head boy and she was head girl in our year.

We had everything, everything going for us.

So over the years, you know,

I brought up the idea of marriage a few times,

but then three years ago,

I thought I'm gonna properly propose.

That's when I got the ring,

and I got our names engraved on it, and everything.

But she told me,

in no uncertain terms that she wasn't ready.

And then she made me feel like,

like we both

weren't ready, and she asked me to wait.

So,

I waited

until today.

I produced the ring again, and then I asked her,

and I got the same answer.

But this time she said,

she loves me,

but she's not sure she's in love with me.

No.

Yes, so there was like standing alone,

thinking how did I get here,

how did my relationship become this?

What even was my relationship, was it love?

Or had love just become

familiar,

convenient?

I don't know, I don't,

I don't have the answers,

but what I do know is that 12 hours ago,

I had

everything, just everything right at my fingertips.

Now all I've got is frostbite.

Wait, where are we going?

Out with the bad, and in with the good.

I'm not much of a dancer.

Oh humbug!

Hey, come on, come on.

I totally get that you're hurting, I am too,

but it's Christmas.

Let's just leave all the bad stuff outside until Boxing Day.

Yeah, I don't think that's how it works.

Pretty sure it is!

Look, just like this hotel, and everyone in it,

we are caught in this frozen bubble,

we're cut off, we're out of sync from the world.

So, let's just leave it all outside

until we return to the world.

It tastes a lot better than it smells I can assure you.

Amen.

You'd never know it had been snowing.

Give it 20 minutes.

You know that's bad for you?

You should try this instead.

Oh, that is nasty.

Told you so.

Where did you even get it.

Cigarette machine covered in dust,

looked a decade old.

I think the universe is trying to tell you something

really deep like quit.

I've got control over our nothing in my life just now,

except for this, this foosty fag.

So the tobacco police can do one.

Point taken.

It's midnight.

Uh-uh, not yet.

10,

nine,

eight,

seven,

six,

five,

four,

three,

two,

one.

Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Do you know we should be toasting or something.

Come on, I don't feel like toasting

Come on, stay in the moment.

To, wow.

To.

To the unlucky?

To the stranded.

The deserted.

To the lonely.

To the abandoned.

To strangers.

To strangers.

Yeah, I know that look on your face,

I've been wearing it myself all day.

It's that crushing, sick-to-your-stomach feeling.

All these years living a lie.

All those years I thought it was love.

That wasn't love.

Then what is?

Am I even capable of it?

What if I never find something real?

What if we have found it,

and missed it, because we were living a lie?

No one should be alone on Christmas.

You and Christmas.

- Shit. - Yeah.

Do you know what, I'm really tired,

and I'm not really thinking straight,

so I'm gonna go to bed.

You should call her back.

Yeah, maybe.

Hey, everything will be fine.

It's Christmas.

- Would you stop that please? - What?

All of that childish

tmas-will-make-everything-better stuff, it won't!

It's not some magical event

where all the wrongs are righted.

Roll up, roll up for one day only, the shit doesn't stick.

You can't, you can't just put a pin in feelings,

and leave them 'til Boxing Day,

'cause that's not how feelings work.

"Oh thanks, Santa, for coming down on your magical sleigh,

and making it so as we don't have to worry about war,

or poverty, or heartbreak!

I'm so glad it's the 25th of December,

and now I can just be deliriously happy,

'cause who's sad on Christmas," don't,

don't kid yourself.

Or if you are, don't drag me in,

don't drag me in to the delusion.

Christmas is a day just

a day, just a miserable

shit day like all the others.

Goodnight then.

Shit.

Morning.

Is it.

Have you been here all night?

What gave it away?

Listen, last night was.

Did you phone her back?

No.

I checked the traffic though.

We're stuck here another day.

Right!

If we can't go home for Christmas,

then I'm bringing Christmas to us!

Sid, I will need place settings for 10!

Nine.

Would you come on!

Lift that rain cloud for one day!

I am not gonna let your negativity ruin Christmas!

How dare you?

You know absolutely nothing about me.

You don't know any of us,

so how dare you force your faux,

cheerful Christmas spirit on us?

Yeah, I've seen your face

when you think no one's been looking,

you are full of shit.

And you know what?

No amount of Christmas spirit is gonna fix

what broke you.

So don't you dare drag us

through this pantomime-like puppets in your healing process.

Grow up and leave me out of it.

Sorry, my dear, we're just not feeling very festive.

Aye.

Most of the folk down here come up to get away

from all that Christmas stuff.

I'm the only hotel in about a 100-mile

not making a fortune making Christmas dinner today

for a reason.

So what?

The only thing you have in your kitchen is sullen skank?

Guys.

Come on!

Really?

Was that?

Was that necessary?

You're all here by choice,

but she is stuck here.

Miles from home and her family

on her favorite day of the year.

She just wants someone to share it with,

we can't give her that?

She just wants to spread a bit of joy.

Are we all so determined to be miserable,

we can't just let someone be happy?

Shame on us.

I could do Christmas.

I actually really love Christmas.

Then why in God's name did you come away

instead of staying at your mom's for the party?

I've done Christmas at my mom's for years.

I wanted to be with you.

You should have told me.

Oh, don't take it personally, my dear.

Her wife died in a car accident a few months back,

and well, people say things they don't mean

when they're grieving.

My God, it's her first Christmas alone.

Yes, well, can't blame her.

We want to pretend it isn't happening.

And all this time I've been throwing it in her face,

because I didn't wanna admit that I was hurt.

I'm such a dick.

No, don't beat yourself up, pet.

I can't even imagine,

and I thought I knew what heartbreak felt like.

Well, it's all relative.

Pain isn't a competition.

When my Susan passed away,

I couldn't face up to it.

Oh Christ,

listen to me, passed away.

I'm still trying to soften the cold, hard truth of it.

I think that is a perfectly natural thing to do.

Aye, well,

Whatever the pain and whenever it came from,

we all need that anchor to help us back on our feet again.

That mad old bugger in there, he's my anchor.

Yes, and Anna well, she hasn't got one yet.

But you, well, I think you have in that young man.

I don't know.

Ships passing in the night, perhaps.

Come on, let's go back inside.

Can't stay out here in this weather.

I think I'm gonna take a walk.

See if the roads have cleared any.

No, be safe.

I'll be fine.

Ah

laddy,

I've just been speaking with your good lady

oh, you know what I mean.

She could do with a friend.

Where is she?

She's gone for a walk.

She says, she's going to see if the roads are clear.

- On our own? - Mm-hmm.

Christ.

Jen!

Jen!

Jen!

Rob?

Rob, I think I hear you.

Jen.

- What were you thinking? - I'm so sorry,

I wasn't thinking.

I just needed to get away, so I could think.

Listen,

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry that we got stranded.

I'm sorry you didn't get the Christmas you wanted.

- It's just a day. - No, it's not.

If you've taught me anything,

it's that Christmas should be about so much more than that.

It's about bringing people together, and, and here we are.

I don't think our paths were ever supposed to cross.

You get on my nerves, we're nothing alike,

you made me steal a car, and now, we're freezing to death,

but there's something about you.

You make me feel

warm inside.

I don't know what this is but I know you.

They're coming, they're coming.

Ladies and gentlemen,

it is my honor to have you all here.

at the Clachaig for a very extraordinary Christmas dinner.

Please be seated.

I don't understand.

Well, you see, someone helped us find

our Christmas spirit.

I mean it's,

- it's. - Perfect.

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Go ahead.

There's your name tag, look, just there.

Sit yourself down there, lad.

Thank you.

I don't suppose you saw the kids

- when you were outside? - No, I don't think so.

My Chris is a good boy.

That's what I'm worried about.

I was a good boy too,

I know what they get up to.

Aye, young love, you were there the once.

I'm surprised you can remember

Christmas brings out the romantic out in us all.

Aye that is true.

That reminds me, you two old codgers owe me 20 quid.

That's not an admission of hee-haw.

What are you all looking at?

- We were just outside-- Snogging?

Snogging,...Dad, nobody says that anymore!

You're so embarrassing.

Here's To the first kiss,

or as we say up here, a sheep dip.

I think what he means to say is, to young love.

Aye, lang may yer lum reek.

Cheers to that, cheers to that.

Oh, hey.

Bravo, bravo.

What, what's going on?

Well, I'm looking for new horizons,

and Sid's looking for a chef, so one day at a time.

I didn't know you were a chef.

Are you kidding me, she cooked all the Christmas dinner.

Did you really?

It's all edible.

I didn't know.

Thank you

It doesn't mean I like Christmas.

I just couldn't bear the thought of you guys

after all of your hard work having to eat Sid's food

None taken.

Merry Christmas, everyone

- Merry Christmas. - Merry Christmas.

Merry Christmas.

Let's get started.

Here, pass the salad.

Aye.

It's hot.

And she was not going to just feel like there was any point

That's the first proper Christmas dinner

I've had in years.

Christmas was always about the wee, one you know?

So when she wasn't around,

I just didn't feel like there was any point anymore.

They just don't need you like they used to.

Oh my God, tell my about it.

We live in the same house, barely ever see him.

Lost to a generation of X-Stations, and Playboxes, and.

What about his father?

Yeah, that shipped sailed a long time ago,

and if we are very lucky, it bloody sank!

I know what you mean.

Okay, sorry folks, bad news.

The band can't get through.

The road's blocked coming through the moor.

I think we're gonna be singing for our supper tonight.

But that's all right, we could just put the CD on again.

No.

No, don't do that.

You have all worked so hard to give me my Christmas,

so let me ruin yours.

Okay.

- Ah, awesome. - Thank you.

Wrapping your pain in tinsel doesn't make it go away,

and I'm sorry if I forgot that,

and I'm even more sorry if I made it harder,

but my worst Christmas ever

has become my best,

because I have met this collection of people that care.

People care.

It hasn't snowed for hours

Yeah.

Well.

Here we are.

Yip, here we are.

Thank you.

For what?

For bringing me home a little bit happier

than when you found me.

Well, maybe not all men are illegitimate.

So there's hope for the human race?

I suppose I better get going.

- Do you wanna? - Maybe we should both,

both get where we need to be.

Yeah, you're right.

Hey listen.

- Yeah. - Yeah.

See you around.

See ya.