Original subtitles

Every year, retailers lose $45 billion to shoplifting. It's the job of loss

prevention officers to protect against these shoplifters.

These are their stories, only at shoplifter .com.

All right, got it, David. Get in there.

You know why you're here?

Yeah.

For this, right?

Yeah.

Oh, that was easy.

All right, well, young lady, why don't you sit down and be there.

I'm going to pack some paperwork and stuff like that, and I'll be right back.

What's with the smile, young lady?

I don't know.

You shouldn't be smiling if you've just been caught shopping.

I'm going to need some information from you.

Like what?

Do you have an ID on you?

No, I don't.

All right.

First, give me your height.

My height? 5 '5". Weight?

110 pounds.

20. What's your name and address on there?

It's a long address. Where do you live?

I live down the street from here.

Let's fuck. That's very appropriate, young lady.

Write down the goddamn address.

There. Anything else you need?

Fuck me in the ass, fuck me hard.

All right, God damn it, young lady.

You better think about what you did. I'm going to be back in five minutes to let

you get your act together.

I'll be here.

I would love to be spanked with this.

Hey, goddammit, stop touching my belts.

Why don't you spank me with one of them? Hey!

Watch your tongue, young lady.

I don't want you fucking with me anymore.

Are you under the influence of any drugs or alcohol?

No, I'm not.

Sure about that?

Sober as can be.

Were you recently committed to any mental hospitals?

Were you?

Did you escape from him at the Institute?

No. Okay.

Do you have a history of cultomania?

Not really.

But, you know, I know the drill around here.

Well, if you're familiar with this, please stand up. Let's take a mug shot.

Alright. All right, I'll reinstall.

See?

Do you know how much that bracelet was worth?

Necklace?

Um, I don't know, maybe like a hundred dollars?

It's more than that, young lady.

It's over 900, in fact.

How'd you even get that thing?

It just ended up in my pocket.

I'm going to review the security footage.

As a matter of fact, why don't I just go do that now?

I don't know why you keep smiling.

I don't think you understand how serious this is.

The item which you stole was at least over $900, which in this state is a

felony.

It's not a misdemeanor, it's a felony.

And that can land you some serious jail time.

Well, isn't there anything I can do to not go to jail?

Yeah, you can have cooperation.

We'll get this investigation done, and we'll have you hand over to the cops in

no time.

So you get additional information, run your name.

I would really not like to go to jail.

If there's anything I can do, you know. Write your name down one more time,

young lady.

No shenanigans.

What is your problem?

What is your problem?

Do you always write inappropriate things on paper?

You have no form of ID?

I have no ID on me. I mean, you can search me and see for yourself.

Do you have any other stolen items on you?

Any weapons or needles in your pockets? Nope.

Anything you could poke me?

No, nothing.

Okay, have a seat.

Do you have anything in your shoes that you're hiding?

No. Okay.

One more time. One last time.

Write your name down.

What did you write, Come Down, Sir 2000?

Okay.

One more time here after the crash.

That's how I'm gonna watch you.

Okay.

Thank you. Now run your name. It better not be a fake name.

It's definitely my name.

Alright, scanned your record.

You seem to have no priors whatsoever.

You seem to not recognize the severity of your crime.

Why would you even do this?

Well, I know the drill around here.

Yeah, you go, you get caught, you go to jail. Very simple drill. It goes all

over the nation, all 50 states.

That's not what... the other girl told me.

Okay.

I mean, I think you know what I'm talking about.

No, young lady, actually I don't.

It's really, really surprising because I've heard it happen multiple times.

I mean, just why I stole it in the first place.

I thought you...

go to jail i don't understand you get a ticket what

you know any criminals i have here daily you're not the first one probably won't

be the last either exactly i mean like i said i know the drill around here so

okay

so then you know maybe you need to search me a little better

Do you have any more hidden items on you?

I mean, like I said, why don't you see for yourself?

Goddamn, stand up again.

Take off the switch.

All right, remove your clothes up.

Hmm, thought you'd never ask.

What is your malfunction?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

A little bit too liberal over there.

You have some sort of malfunction, lady?

Me? Malfunction?

Don't you wear bras and panties?

I have panties all over.

Jesus.

Almost with you girls nowadays.

So liberal with your bodies.

Throwing your boobs all over the place.

Can you hand me those, please?

Up there, right?

Okay.

There's no atoms here.

By visual inspection, there are no atoms on you. Mm -hmm.

All right, we're going to be right back.

You get dressed, and then we'll have to continue our conversation.

Do I really have to get dressed?

God damn it.

What is your malfunction, young lady?

I told you to get dressed.

All your clothes on. I don't know what you're doing.

I know what goes on around here.

I don't know why you're telling me to get dressed.

Okay. I don't know what you mean, what goes on here, young lady.

I keep telling you over and over and over again.

What the other girl told me happened. Who's the other girl? Who are you

about? I don't know. She got in trouble today.

Okay, and?

Well, I know that security guards here have a very interesting way of punishing

the girls.

Yeah, we take them to jail, we proc them, hear them, they go to jail. What's

problem?

I don't want to go to jail, though.

There has to be something I can do instead.

Oh, I know what you're talking about.

Let's go ahead and help us organize her.

Tax forms, but she didn't steal anything over $900 so you can do that but you

committed a felony so You're gonna have to

With

what money you got nothing on you search the

entire time you can like Call your mom and she's gonna say oh, yeah, I caught

you got caught shoplifting

I don't think she... I mean, I'm sure we can work something out.

Something more. Okay,

for the necklace, I can do the tax filing thing for

you.

Are you going to qualify for taxes?

I don't think so.

I know

about... you guys do here who put you up to this this is the kind of joke

it's not a joke it's all me just me this officer small big

guy english accent he put you up to this i don't know who that is

i mean so english guy yeah the girl told me what happened

so

I thought that maybe if I stole something, then I would get the same

But, I mean, maybe I, maybe this is the wrong place. So,

I mean, I'm sure you know what

I'm talking about.

And it can just be between me and you.

Go ahead.

Is this where you got caught?

Mm -hmm.

There you go.

I'll tell you what. If you do a good job, then I'll come home with you.

Careful there.

And you do it again.

Keep going.

You really want to get caught showing enthusiasm.

Come on.

Show me that I'm not wasting my time. I can just make one phone call and send

you home.

Just be a little slut or something.

Is that why you're here?

So far down you can go.

So far down.

That's it. Let's look at a lot more deep lift.

Is that the way you like it, huh?

I'm going to go to sleep.

I'm going to sleep.

Is that a camera right there?

Blah, blah, blah.

What the fuck?

Don't come back.

Every year, retailers lose $45 billion to shoplifting.

It's the job of loss prevention officers to protect against these shoplifters.

These are their stories.