Original subtitles

Upbeat music

Mail's here!

Mail.

Ominous music

For Robert Caputo's eyes only.

We have actionable intel that Dr. Michael Skip Henai

is a double agent working for the Russian government.

He is seeking to destroy NASA's Moon Mission

through a series of political assassinations.

This threat is imminent.

Underneath your mattress you will find an untraceable

and loaded 9mm pistol.

Your orders are to exterminate with extreme prejudice.

Our nation's security is relying on you.

Your weather advisory.

Please be aware of high-speed winds from the west.

And lastly, the urine samples

we have received are inadequate.

Please resubmit with proper identification.

- Thought we did that. - Yeah.

Always another one to keep everything separate.

But they actually weigh more. They weigh your suitcase down.

- The zippers? Good to know. - Mm-hmm. 'Cause...

- So... - Know that much.

It-it is enough that once you're trying

to get through the airport and you're in a rush...

Hey, Cap?

Cap?

Cap? What are you doing?

Hmm. That was kind of weird.

Intense, suspenseful music

- Rook? Rook. - What? What is it?

- Get up. - What's wrong?

Got to talk to you.

What's the matter?

You're not gonna believe this.

- Uh... - What's going on?

I just had a bad dream.

Yeah? Okay.

Well, just, just go back to sleep.

- Okay. All right. - Try to go back to sleep.

- It's all good, right? - Sorry. Good night.

- You're safe here. - Okay.

How are you?

Good night.

Suspenseful music

Skip, please forgive me.

Shit.

No, no...

Come on. Goddamn it.

It's not a real gun.

You passed. Well done.

- What? - You passed my test.

The Henai test.

It's commitment to the mission,

as opposed to personal attachments.

- It's a test? - Yeah.

- Oh... - You did great.

You were early.

Okay.

So you... You sent the letter and-and...

- Mm-hmm. - Skip!

Come on, man.

Okay. You're crazy.

All right.

Well, have a good night.

Put that gun away.

Upbeat music

Hi.

Hi.

How's it going?

Fine. Just trying to have some downtime here, so...

Oh, nice.

You wouldn't mind turning that down a little, would you?

Well, I'm sorry, Skip, but it's my recreation time,

and I was here first, so...

Could you listen to your music with headphones?

Yeah, I really don't want to listen to it on headphones...

- All right, don't shoot me. - ...'cause I was...

intense, pulsing music

I'm not gonna shoot you.

You have once before, so...

- What? - Mm...

Nothing.

Good batch, Cap.

Thanks.

Rook, can you pass the napkins, please?

Yeah, Cap, got the napkins there?

Thanks.

Here you go.

And the salts, too?

Skip, will you cut this out?

This Henai test was your idea.

- I didn't want to kill you, man. - All right.

You know what a bullet does to a person, right?

They do a lot of damage.

Ending someone's life in the pull of a trigger?

It's a lot.

I was following orders. That's what we do here.

We follow orders.

And you weren't conflicted at all?

Of course I was conflicted. I haven't slept in two days.

I'm sorry, Skip. Okay? I'm sorry!

Okay, apology accepted.

Fine... N-No need to shout.

Um, I have some work to do in the lab,

so enjoy the rest of the meal.

Hey, Skip. How's it going in here?

- It's going fine. - Um... You got a sec?

I'm actually trying to focus on these tests.

Yeah, it's just, I think Cap's a little upset

- about this whole Henai test. - Mm-hmm.

And I think it would be really great for all of us

if you two made up.

And you know he didn't try to kill you, right?

He said that?

Yeah. I mean, he thought you were a Russian spy, Skip.

Well, I just need some time to think about it.

- That's all. - All right.

But you have to understand that he might be a little confused

by the whole concept of the Henai test.

I mean, frankly, I'm a little confused, too.

Well, I'm confused, too.

You know, I didn't come up with the Henai test. My father did.

You know... I had to put a gun to my father's head.

I was 13 years old.

And I passed. Not a big deal.

Well, it's obviously a big deal.

It's driving you two crazy.

I don't know what I'm supposed to do here.

I'm supposed to help how?

Be a peacemaker, middleman.

Sucks.

Contemplative music

Hmm.

Hey, guys?

Can we, uh, huddle up on something real quick?

Skipper? Sorry to break up

your workout, but listen.

Ever since this Henai test, you guys have been going at it

like cats and dogs.

Well, I think we know whose fault that is.

Forget whoever's fault it is.

We need to solve the problem, because it's affecting morale

and it's really a problem around here.

So I was looking at the base manual,

and it actually has some pretty good ideas.

It's pretty-pretty well-written. Little boring at parts.

But there's a whole chapter on interpersonal

conflict resolution.

They suggest that maybe we try to get to know each other

a little bit better and have a little fun around here.

You know? Have a game night.

So I was thinking maybe

we pop open the old Quiz Lord board

- and have a little fun. - Who's invited?

Well, it would be for all three of us to play,

- obviously, Cap. - Oh, so he's coming?

Mm-hmm. Skip?

I have a question. Are there guns in this game?

No.

- Okay, it's fine with me. - Okay.

- Cap? - Okay. I'll do it for you, Rook.

Thank you, Cap. All right, I'll go set up the board.

It's very complicated to set up.

I have to look at the rules.

Lighthearted music

All right.

- Cap, why don't you go first? - All right.

- Three. - Three. Not great.

One, two, three.

All right.

First question of the night.

Good luck, everybody. Category is golf.

Okay.

"Gene Sarazan won the 1922 PGA Masters Tournament,

beating who in the final round?"

Ge... u-um...

Who did Gene Sarazan beat?

I mean, the first name that jumps into my head

is Arnold Palmer, but that...

Is that your answer?

- No, it's not my answer. - 'Cause you said it.

- All right. - No, I didn't...

I was just say... As an example, it could be any name,

uh, 'cause I don't know golf.

So it wouldn't matter to me... Just relax, okay?

You're not the Quiz Lord.

I don't, I don't know.

I don't know the answer to this, so I'm gonna pass.

- You're not allowed to pass. - Of course I'm allowed to pass.

I don't know the answer, so I-I'm passing.

No, in Quiz Lord: Masters Edition,

there's no passing until you pass the Bonnybook Bridge.

- Since when? - "Player must

answer Quiz Lord question correctly before advancing."

What you can do, you can buy yourself some time.

That's $50, and that gives you some more time to think about...

Well, I don't need time, I just... I-I need the answer.

But, uh... I mean, okay.

- I'm buying the time. - Just... Okay.

It's your turn. Here.

Just so you know, though, this question will come back to you

- on the next round. - Yeah.

- All right. - "Science and industry."

- That's the category. - Okay.

"What three specialty convertibles

did General Motors originally introduce in 1953?"

Oh, come on.

I get the PGA in 1922 and he gets the car question.

- I know this answer, by the way. - Okay.

I'm gonna guess, from 1953...

I'm just gonna name some convertibles.

I was just looking at this last night in my car book.

Uh...

Buick Skylark.

Um, Oldsmobile Fiesta.

And...

- GM, you said? - Yeah.

Mm, Cadillac Eldorado.

Yep. That's correct.

You're such a liar.

You are totally faking that you didn't know that answer.

- I didn't know. I just, I... - Oh, give me a break.

You get all three, just boom, boom, boom.

Cap, come on.

- Those are famous '50s cars - Fine. Okay.

- And they're convertibles. - You're in the Forest of Fate.

All right.

And you are protected from all charms and spells.

Rook, your turn. Go.

All right. Quiz Lord rolls.

30!

That is about as good of a roll as you can get.

That advances me up to the Spring of Serenity.

- Whoa. - And I'm absolved

from answering a question from the Quiz Lord.

- Ooh. - I advance

my three cubes into port.

And I get

a Fortune of Calamity card, which I will store until later.

You, unfortunately, do not roll.

We are back to... Uh...

"Gene Sarazan won the 1922 PGA Masters Tournament,

beating who in the final round?"

Who did, who did he beat?

1922. Gene...

I don't know it. I don't know it, all right?

Stop making me feel stupid.

Stupid! They're making me answer the thing over and over

- like I'm some idiot? - It's supposed to be fun, Cap.

Who was it?

It's Emmet French.

Emmet French.

Oh.

Atmospheric music

Hey, Wally.

Oh, hey. Hey, Cap.

- Uh, just finishing up with... - No, it's all right.

Take your time, take your time.

Okay.

Hey, man, what's wrong? Uh, what...

Dude, are you okay?

Yeah, I don't know, I'm fine, I just...

Y-You don't know golf at all, do you?

Have you heard of a guy named Gene Sarazan?

He won the PGA in 1922?

- No. No. - Oh.

No, neither do I.

Have you ever heard of the Henai test?

No, but...

Dr. Michael Henai, one of my base mates.

I don't think you've met him, but...

- No. - I like the guy.

And we're just butting heads.

This place is like a bad-energy central in there.

We're really starting to get stir-crazy.

Yeah, yeah.

It was a matter of time, sir.

What do you mean?

You know, you're on a magnetic field here, right?

Your feng shui is-is off.

Uh... Whoev... Your proj... Your...

Whoever your project designer was here, you...

set you up on a magnetic field.

It... And-and there's, uh, electric, concentric circles

and-and you're on a 90 degree angle of ley lines that are...

Listen, Wally, bottom line it for me.

- What are you saying? - Bottom line?

If you just move the base over here

a-a couple hundred feet to the northeast,

you'll get off this negative energy vortex.

This is not scientific, what you're saying. It's like...

Have you ever heard of the Donner Party?

- Yeah. - Yeah.

Those people ate each other, right?

Yeah. They got caught in a negative,

i-in a negative magnetic field and...

You saying we're gonna eat each other?

Listen.

Move the base. Move the base.

Just think about it, man.

Think about it.

Haunting music

- Move the base? - Exactly.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? But guess what?

This fing shui thing is real.

We are sitting, right now,

on a bad-energy vortex, and we need to get off it.

I mean, not everything can be explained by science.

Look at aurora borealis.

Why is that happening? No one will ever know.

But we look up at it, we know that it's real.

You know, I got to say, this base was designed to be mobile.

It's not impossible.

- Right? - Exactly. We will show NASA

that we're a mobile unit, if we can do this.

- Yeah. - Okay? It's a skill builder.

That's right. What if we're on the Moon and a meteor shower

comes down and we got five minutes?

We got to get out of there, we got to move the base.

It's not a crazy idea, Cap. I like it. Let's do it.

- Great. - What do you think, Skip?

It's great. I love it. Let's do it.

Frantic, upbeat music

Okay, I like that can-do attitude. Perfect.

You get on the kitchen stuff. What are you gonna do, Rook?

Uh, I-I could start on the bins over here.

Okay, I'm gonna disconnect the water supply

and then we'll get started on the exterior.

We are moving, boys.

So do you really think this is a good idea?

It's a terrible idea.

All right, well, so what, we don't move the base?

No, we're gonna move the base.

Cap is insane.

He's lost his mind.

So what we're gonna do is,

we're gonna document everything.

- Okay. - Tape everything.

Send it over to NASA, they watch it, they're like,

"Oh, great, that's so cool...

Oh, what's Cap doing?

That guy has lost his mind.

Put him in a padded cell."

And then we're set.

I don't know.

The whole thing's confusing to me, but...

you're a genius, so I guess you got it figured out.

Yeah, well,

can you imagine if this happened on the Moon?

And Cap is like, "Move the base?"

- Cap, uh, what are you doing? - Hey.

- You know, moving the base. - Great.

- And on whose orders? - Well, on the advice of a local

named Wally, we have determined that there are evil spirts

or a negative energy underneath the base, so we are moving it

to the west about 100 yards on my orders.

11:57 a.m. and Flight Commander Robert Caputo,

it was on his orders to move the base.

All right, as you were.

All right, Cap, this is the last of the lab.

You want to break her down now?

Yeah, you pull on that cord right there and she'll fold in

just like an accordion.

Okay, copy that.

Give it a good tug, though.

No, really put your weight in.

Pull, pull hard, Rook!

- Pull hard. - Whoa!

Oh, crap.

- You all right? - Yeah.

Yeah, it just slipped out.

All right, we'll just do it by hand.

We'll take these bolts off one by one.

We don't need to move the base.

We can sit down and try to figure this out.

Yeah, I know, but that's what

we said we were gonna do, so we got to do what it takes.

All right, then we're gonna have to pull all these cables

and retrench them.

No problem.

- Cap? - Yeah?

I'll start doing that.

I'll get on that right now.

We got to... We have to do something.

Can't just tell yourself now you can't do it.

You got to try to do it and keep doing it.

Excuse me.

If you didn't want to get stuff done...

Note that subject is, uh, pulling up cables.

1400 hours.

Come on, Rook, pick it up!

Let's go, double-time, double-time!

We got to get all this over with!

I'm working on it! I'm working on it!

How you feeling?

I feel fine.

Are you gonna help us?

You have a lot of work to do?

I see what you're doing.

What?

You think I'm nuts.

- That's not true. - Yes, it is.

Hey, guys, we got some weather activity coming in.

Do you think that moving the base is sane?

No, it's insane, of course.

You know what else is insane?

I'm training to strap myself to a solid-fuel rocket

and try to hit a rock up in the sky.

That's insane.

I'm insane, but you're insane, too.

So is Rook... we're all insane.

That's why I love you guys.

Hey, the storm's coming! We got to get inside!

Okay, we hear you, Rook!

We're dedicated to a mission

that's beyond our ability,

but we're gonna try anyway, right?

- Cap, we got a storm! - Yes, I heard you!

Skip, I'm doing this for us.

I'm just trying to make the base last...

Skip! Ah! Ow!

Oh, the camera!

No.

Damn it!

Hey!

It works.

Hey, Skip, this is your blender, isn't it?

- Yeah. - Don't worry,

I'm gonna take real good care of it.

I love that you're documenting this. It's cool.

- Yeah. - It's history, you know?

I got you, buddy.

One, two, three!

Thanks, Cap.

I hope you know what you're doing, Caputo.

These men are my family.

Subject is having second thoughts, but does consider us

his family, so... 1700 hours.

Skip?!

Skip. You okay?

Yeah, hold on.

Yeah, I'm good.

Come on.

Let's check on Cap.

One, two, three!

Thanks.

Listen, guys.

Moving the base was a bad idea.

I'm sorry.

No, it wasn't a bad idea at all.

A-Actually... I'm really sorry.

I didn't mean to be so hostile with the camera and everything.

I'll tell you what was a bad idea was the Henai test.

I don't know where that came from.

That ends with this generation right here.

- No more Henai tests. - I got to say...

if it was my name on that letter from NASA that you sent,

I would've killed myself.

It was very convincing, Skip.

Well, thank you.

- Yeah. - Wow.

I wish it didn't happen, but...

Can I have a hug?

It's not, it's not the Henai test... this is a real hug.

That's what I like to see.

Ah, Skip. Hey, listen.

I got a skin-on-skin session for you

when we get back in that base, huh?

- You got it. - All right. You'll feel better.

Hey, what do you say

we clean up this mess and finish this move, huh?

Sounds good, Rook, let's do it!

All right.

Contemplative music

- The Sarazan question? - Yeah, mm-hmm.

So you're saying not English...

- Right. - ...not Spanish.

Think, uh, Eiffel Tower.

Queen of England?

- No. - Give me

a little clue on the first name.

- Just a little one. - All right, this...

All right, sounds like Oprah's boyfriend

or husband or whatever he is.

Winfrey?

- No. - Guys.

Cap, I got to hand it to you.

Since we've moved, we're getting 20%

more efficiency from the solar array,

and our comm signal is much stronger.

Stedman French... Edmund, Edmund French!

Bingo!

- What? - All right, we're back in.

We got a game to finish.

Ten, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15.

At the Weeping Well.

All right, name seven of the ten cardinals

that comprised the papal conclave and elected

Pope Nicolas V in 1447.

You just need seven of the ten.

Cheerful, electronic music

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