Original subtitles

Okay, fuck it.

Here we go.

Shit.

Okay, there you go.

Fuck.

Oh, well.

Hi, Leif.

You like those so much, don't you?

Don't growl at me.

I'm giving you stuff.

Want this?

What kind of tricks can you do?

Can you go around?

Ah.

You're too teethy, honey.

Here.

Leif?

Leif, are you there?

Leif?

Leif!

- Hey. - Hi. Remember me?

Not really, no.

It's Missy. Aunt Missy, remember?

I was in the spiritual community with your mother and you

when you were a little boy.

- Okay. - Wow, you got old.

You know what? Give me a second, Missy.

- Let me put a shirt on. - I like your overalls.

So, uh, what can I do for you?

I wanted to let you know,

I wanted to tell you in person,

and I just, uh, wanted to,

more than anything, uh...

your mom died.

I'm sorry.

All right, I'll come down.

She had cancer. Found it too late

and didn't get any treatment. No chemo, nothing.

- Oh. - You know your mom with doctors and stuff.

It just wasn't her thing.

I do have some good news for you, though.

She left you her cabin.

She left the cabin for me?

- She did, she did. - No way.

Uh-huh. But there is a catch.

She felt like there were some things

she still needed to teach you,

but couldn't get ahold of you,

so she did this.

A conditional inheritance.

"I, Suzanne 'Honey' Reinhold hereby leave my cabin to my son

Leif Reinhold provided he completes this list of tasks

left for him at the cabin.

Should he not complete the list, the cabin will be sold

and proceeds donated to the Theodore Payne Foundation for Wildflowers and Native..."

So there's a list at the cabin?

Yes, yes. And if you don't do those things...

- Yeah. - ...you will not get the cabin.

- And this is legal? - Yeah, it is.

- Unfortunately, you have... - Okay.

Hey, uh, do you know what's on the list?

No. I have no idea what's on this list.

But knowing Honey, it's gonna be wild.

I can guarantee that.

Right. That makes sense. That makes sense.

Do you own a gun?

- No. Should I? - No. You'll be fine. You'll be fine.

So, Honey's dead.

Weird, right?

Yeah. Don't feel bad. You didn't know her.

I didn't really know her either, to be honest.

So sad she's dead though, right?

Do you feel sad?

Sometimes I feel like you understand

every single thing I'm saying,

and other times I just think you have dog brains.

All right, fuck it. Let's do it.

What do we have to lose, right? A weird week?

Gorka?

Stop banging on my window!

Gorka?

Gork.

- I need to talk to you. - What do you need, Leif?

It's about the band and my schedule. It's important.

Ugh. Not now. I'm busy.

- You're not busy. - How do you know?

'Cause I can literally see you with your shirt off laying in bed.

- That's how I know. - That doesn't mean I'm not busy.

- I'm thinking. - It kind of means you're not busy.

This is important, Gorka. Can you please just come out here for a second?

God's sake. Listen, you're ruining my day.

- I was busy. - My mother's dead.

Oh, I'm sorry for your loss.

She may be surrounded by angels.

She might be, but I have some questions about schedule

that I'd like to do now.

- Meet me by the vegetables. - Why can't we just do it now?

Hey, and don't bring your asshole dog.

Don't call my dog an asshole, you asshole.

God damn it! What's your problem?

Are you okay?

Honest to God, close your robe a little bit, man.

- I can see everything. - Fuck, it's so hot.

You know what? Let's have some wine inside.

Hey, Gorka, let me just ask you a scheduling question.

- Come inside. Let's have some wine. - Am I free to leave next week?

Let's have some wine.

- Gorka, can we please? - One second.

Losing a mother is a terrible thing.

Something you'll never forget.

It only happens once in your lifetime.

Yeah, that makes sense.

Hey, can I ask you a scheduling question just...

Can I say something first?

It's pretty important that I get this out of the way.

Your mother abandoned you as a 12-year-old boy for a cult, didn't she?

She left you to fend for yourself, didn't she?

- Correct. - And then, sure, since you grew up,

she has tried occasionally to come to see a concert and call you, right?

- She has, yeah. - To fix your failed relationship.

I don't know that. I never called her back.

But now she's dead.

But now she's dead.

Well, I do not weep for that woman.

Fuck that woman. Fuck this person, this asshole.

I have zero love for that woman like this, abandoning her child.

- You finished? - I'm finished.

- Okay, so... - Not even animals abandon their childs.

Not even cockroaches. Think about it.

Your mother is worse than a cockroach.

I don't think cockroaches raise their kids.

Don't talk to me about cockroaches because I am very familiar.

They're like a herd. They take care of each other. They're like elephants.

That is not accurate.

By the way, you're cabin is full of cockroaches.

- We have to take care of that. - Can I please ask my question?

Yeah, go ahead.

Can I leave for a little bit and miss a rehearsal or two?

I gotta go run up to her cabin up near Yosemite.

- Of course you can. - Great.

'Cause I don't want to lose the band. It's a big priority for me.

- No, no, you can go. - You'll talk to them?

Yeah, I will talk to them, and if a gig comes up, I'll just call you.

- That was it. - You woke me up for that?

Well, I woke you up to tell you my mother died

and ask if I could leave for a week, yes.

All right. Cheers.

- Cheers. - To your dead, shitty, asshole mother.

- Cheers, bud. - Cheers.

That's actually a really shitty wine, man.

I know.

All right, let's go.

Good girl.

Okay.

Leif, hey!

I was thinking about it last night

and you shouldn't be resentful with your mother.

Twice she came to see you, but you never...

I cannot hear you.

- So maybe you... - Gorka, I cannot hear you.

...her being a bad mother, you know what I mean?

You said it yourself.

She tried to apologize, but you never gave her the chance.

You can't live with that anger inside.

- You have to forgive. - Okay, thank you.

Will you do that? Do you understand?

Cheers, my friend. All the best.

If my mother's one thing, Nora, it's unpredictable.

This list could be... it could be anything.

I mean, it could take us anywhere.

Anything. I could be taking you literally anywhere

and you don't know.

I wish I had dog brains half the time.

It would make life easier.

All right, come on, kid. Come on.

Wow.

What do you think?

Kind of nice.

Looks like she's still painting.

This is where I got my artistic side.

Nice mustache.

Yeah, nunchucks.

Look at that little shit.

Little bongo man.

Look at that.

Okay, let's share our last joint.

I don't know.

That was my dog growing up. He didn't have a name.

Honey believed that animals shouldn't be named,

but apparently she was okay with them wearing wigs.

Makes no sense to me, that woman.

All right.

Honey, what the fuck?

Oh, shit.

Ooh.

Oh, why so many cabinets?

Aah! Jesus.

- Hello? - Who the fuck is this?

- Excuse me? - Who the fuck is this?

I'm sorry. Are you looking for Honey?

No, this is between you and me now, sugar dick.

You're just a piece of ass, do you understand that?

Did you just call me a sugar dick?

Yeah, that's all you are.

You are just a piece of candy ass.

I'm a... I'm a candy ass?

- Well, thank you for that, sir. - Yeah, yeah.

Thank you for calling me a candy ass.

You are nothing more than a fuck boy!

Fuck boy? Wow. Okay, great.

- You think this is funny? - Kinda.

All right, well, let's see how long you're laughing.

I didn't mean to laugh.

It's just I haven't been called a fuck boy in, well, ever.

Ha-ha-ha. I promise you do not want to go to war with me, young ass.

- Okay, man, who is this? - I'm coming for you, fuck boy!

Of course.

I'm too stoned for this.

Yeah, sugar dick needs to sober up.

Nora, let's go check out upstairs.

Nora, please. It's too loud.

You awake? Psst.

Can't sleep 'cause it's a weird new place?

You awake?

Should we just go to the van, get you some sleep?

Yeah, let's go to the van for you.

I think you'll be more comfortable there.

All right.

This is better, huh?

Good night, Nora.

Tomorrow, we do the list, okay?

And we get a cabin.

Hi, Leif. Hi. Hi.

Wow, look at me talking to you even though I'm dead.

That's trippy, right?

You probably thought you were finally rid of me, didn't you?

Well, afraid not.

See, energy cannot be destroyed,

so I'm still here spiritually in this room

watching you watch me.

I'm right there.

I'm right behind you. Boo!

Oh, that was a good one. I got you.

- Nope. - I got you, I know. Yeah, I did.

Oh, okay. Well, this is the deal.

Um, I made this video.

Uh, I'm doing this...

well, I know...

I wasn't the mother that you wished I'd been.

And I... I didn't fulfill my motherly responsibilities.

I did not teach you enough stuff, and now I'm dead.

So, I'm going to make this list

of all the things that are so important that I know,

and I'm gonna pass it on to you with this video.

Yeah, so,

face me and say,

"Honey,

I promise that I will do my best to do this list."

I will do the list, Honey.

I'll try my hardest.

Come on, say it for your mom.

- I'll wait. - Just did it.

Don't be shy. I can wait.

I can wait all night. I'm dead. I'm not going anywhere.

Your gaps aren't working. I did it the first time.

Good boy. Okay.

So, number one is called

express yourself.

Take the envelope and go into the garage

and get the green boat, which is pretty heavy.

But, you know, what's success without a bit of struggle?

And then you open the envelope

and there's more instructions.

That's kind of fun, right?

Good. That's it. Stop the tape.

Are you lingering? Don't... don't linger.

You have to do these one at a time.

Please stop the tape. Stop it, please.

I fucking tried so hard to get this all set up.

Okay, okay. Shut up.

Oh, my God.

Oh. Oh, is that heavy.

Oh, fuck me.

I hate you, Honey.

Okay.

Okay. Okay.

Let's see what I'm doing.

All right, first.

"Talk about your feelings about me and my death."

You gotta be kidding me.

I didn't have to bring a fucking boat

down to the lake for that.

"You hold too much inside. It's like poison."

Okay. Do you want to know how I feel about your death?

Nothing.

I know I should feel sad, but I don't.

I feel nothing.

So, sorry, but, uh,

we didn't know each other enough.

Watch me.

Good. Then row to the other side of the lake,

and while you're rowing,

enjoy the water.

Feel its energy.

I did this journey daily for years.

It was one of my escapes.

In the middle of the lake, I allowed myself to miss you

and to think about regrets.

You can do it, too, if you want.

I mean, we all have regrets, Leif.

It's normal.

Now, your next task.

You're looking for a house

that's brown with a green roof.

It's really easy to find.

You can't miss it unless you're super high.

Okay.

Use the key provided...

...then drop the envelope marked "C" on the pillow

in the back bedroom,

and then get your ass out of there.

Easy enough.

"Hey, dipshit! I owe you nothing, you rat fuck!"

All right, what am I doing?

This is insane. Okay.

All right, let's go.

Fuck!

Congratulations. You did it.

Congrats? I could have been killed.

You went to the lake and you expressed yourself

and you took all that toxic energy and you got rid of it,

because if you don't, that's gonna kill you.

I am so happy for you. I am so happy for you.

I'm happy for me, too. That's great.

In terms of breaking into the guy's house, okay,

um, well,

I can't say that that was a lesson.

Uh, honestly, he was just an ass and it needed to be done,

and you did your mom a solid, so thank you.

Oh, for fuck's sake.

Okay, so now I can go on to two.

You're gonna like this one.

Love is important.

Now, I've Googled you and I know that you don't

have a girlfriend or a boyfriend,

so I want you to call the one who got away

and say you're sorry.

Oh, you know who that is. I don't have to tell you.

You know, you hold too many grudges, sweetheart.

I mean, if somebody hurts your feelings, you're just...

you just write them off. They're done, that's it.

Gone.

So go ahead, do it now. Make the call.

All right. All right. I'll call an ex-girlfriend.

This one's easy.

I'm definitely not calling Marnie.

She's insane.

I'm not calling Ayako.

Stephanie's not the one that got away.

Stephanie's the one I can't get rid of.

Not Judy, that's for sure.

Could it be Lindsey? Did Lindsey get away? No.

Lindsey's dad was cool.

We used to go fishing. He was fun.

Maybe her dad's the one that got away.

But I guess it could be Audrey.

Yeah, maybe it's Audrey, Nora.

Maybe Audrey got away.

At least she'll be funny about it, right?

Sorry that, uh...

and then, um, I hope if I...

yeah, that you forgive me

and I don't want any hard feelings.

So, I just, you know...

I think you're a cool person.

- Hello? - Hey, is that Audrey?

- Yeah. Who's this? - Hey, Audrey. It's Leif.

Um, old on a sec.

Hi, I'm sorry. Who did you say this was?

Oh, yeah, it's Leif.

- Leif. - Yeah, Leif.

Sorry, is that a name or a word?

Do you not remem...

Audrey, it's Leif Reinhold.

We dated for about three years.

Right, of course. And when was that?

How many people have you dated named Leif?

Shoot. You know what? Here's what we should do.

Why don't you give me your phone number, I'll write it down,

and then if I can remember who you are,

I'll just give you a call back.

Uh, yeah, fine.

- It's 323-44... - Ooh!

You started giving me your number

because you thought I couldn't remember you.

Nice. Well done.

- You total asshole. - You're so dumb, Leif.

Oh, buddy. How are you, bud? I haven't seen you forever.

Good. You know, apart from the heart attack you gave me, I'm good.

- How are you? - Let's see. How am I the last eight years?

- I'm good. - Let's go with good. Well, good.

- How are you? - I'm, uh... well, I mean, yeah, good.

besides, um, my...

um, my mother died.

- Huh. - Yeah, she had cancer, so...

Is that a... is that a good thing?

Is that a good thing that my mom died?

No, hold on. I mean, like, because you didn't really like her.

- You kind of hated her, right? - No, I didn't kind of hate her.

I just didn't know her.

You guys didn't really get along.

No, I did not hate my mother.

You kind of had, like, weird mommy issues with her.

I did not have mommy issues.

I'm so glad I called you. This has been wonderful.

Okay, so why are you calling me?

Do you need money or something? I don't have money.

Call the next person on your list.

I don't need money.

When my mom died, she left me her cabin,

but she did this thing that's annoying

but it's a conditional inheritance.

I have to do this to-do list

she put together in order to get it.

Wait, so she's like, I love you,

but my love is conditional on whether or not

you can complete these tasks?

- Yeah, it's exactly that. - Oof. Okay.

So what are the tasks?

Well, one of the tasks is to...

is to the call the one that got away and say...

and say sorry.

So why are you calling me?

Oh! Wait a second. Hold on.

Am I the one that got away, Leif?

I mean, you might be. The early 2000s are a total blur.

Here's what I do know. I still have your phone number.

Wow. God.

That is so romantic and so weird, but...

Good. Well, I'm glad it's nice.

I don't know. I kind of like it.

So how are you doing with all this?

With the death and everything?

Oh, uh, you know,

honestly, I'm not feeling much of anything.

I'm... I didn't call you to, you know... how are you doing?

With your mom's death? I mean, I'm okay.

I didn't know her that well either.

No, you asshole. With your life.

In my life. Hmm.

I'm fine.

Fine. Fine. Well, I don't know, are you married?

Single?

Working?

Traveling with the circus?

My boyfriend and I just split up,

so I'm dealing with break-up stuff,

and, you know, break up stuff is not fun.

Well, what happened?

Let's just be girlfriends and gab about it.

It's complicated. I don't want to talk about it. It's dumb.

- It's nothing. - I just told you my mother died.

- You owe me something. - Okay. That's a good point.

It's just that it's boring and you're going to judge me for it.

I am alone in my dead mother's cabin feeling nothing.

- I would love to judge you. - Okay. You know what?

Let me, um... let me just call you back in, like, ten minutes.

- Are you around? - Yeah, yeah. Of course, yeah.

- Great. Okay, bye. - Bye, Leif.

She's great, right? That's Audrey.

She's going to call back. I'm going to take a quick shower.

I don't want... yeah, I'm going to take a shower.

Coming! Coming!

Hello.

Why are you out of breath?

Oh, I just got out of the shower.

I had to run downstairs.

You took a shower? Why?

I realized while we were talking

I hadn't showered in a little bit,

so I thought I'd take a shower.

You do know that I can't smell you over the phone, right?

Right, well, I wasn't willing to take any chances.

Why? Did you not take a shower since the last time we talked?

Since we hung up ten minutes ago? No, I didn't take a shower.

Gross. All right, so tell me about this guy.

I'm dying to judge you.

I don't want to talk about this anymore.

Let's change the subject. Tell me what you're up to.

What's going on in your life?

Uh, yeah, I mean, I'm still making music.

I'm in a band right now with some super talented kid. It's called Restaurant.

We've actually just finished touring Asia.

Hold on now.

Did you just say you're in a band called Restaurant, sir?

Yeah, I'm in a band called Restaurant.

That's not good.

Really, it's such a talented group

of smart musicians, and I think...

Audrey? Audrey, are you drilling?

There's all of a sudden a really weird sound.

No. Sorry, sorry. I'm making soup.

I'm just... I thought it would be quieter. Sorry.

Did you just start when I started talking?

No, you're right. I'm sorry.

Tell me more about your band.

Uh, yeah. These kids are so good.

I feel like we could hit a pop song or two,

and I really... I feel like...

- Hey! Audrey! - Hee-hee.

I'm not falling for it. I'm not falling for it again.

Okay, will you just wait while I make this soup

and then we can really talk?

You want me to wait while you make soup.

Just wait. What else are you doing?

Fine, go make your soup.

But I am telling you about my band

and my hopes and my dreams later,

and you are going to pretend to care.

- Okay, great. - I'm hanging up.

- I'm not going to wait. - Leif?

- Call me back. - Leif, stop talking.

Listen, I'm going to just hang up

and I'll call you back, okay?

That's what I just said.

- Bye. - Bye.

Okay, the next task is called

eat what you kill.

Now, you have to know

how to survive on your own in the wild.

You have to know how to fight for what you care about,

how to be passionate about what you love...

This is insane.

...how to stand up to get what you want,

make it known.

Be the predator, not the prey.

Go catch a fish with your hands.

You know, throw a rock on its head.

Be part of the natural world.

She's insane.

Your mother is a crazy person.

- Yep. - Aren't you supposed to be, like,

apologizing to me or something?

Right. I actually kind of forgot.

Right. So, when are you going to do it?

Well, it can happen now. Should I do it now?

Yeah. Let's do it. Get it over with.

Okay. Audrey, I'm sorry.

- For what? - Um, I'm sorry for breaking your heart?

- No, you didn't break my heart. - I don't know.

My mommy's making me do it and I have major mommy issues.

Okay, you happy now? Do I get her cabin?

Aww, that's not a good apology. Come on.

All right, well, here's the truth.

Um, I'm sorry if I didn't, you know, fight for us

because honestly you're the smartest

and the funniest and the sexiest person I've ever dated

and I'm sorry I fucked it up.

You are?

Yeah. If I could do it again,

I would've done it differently.

So, what? You get your mom's cabin now?

Well, no. I have to do the rest of her list,

but then I get her cabin, yeah.

Wait, what do I get out of this?

- Do I get anything? - No, you don't get anything.

- Wait a sec... - You get the apology.

You got a raw deal. You got screwed. I'm sorry for that.

That sucks.

It's really not fair. It's a really raw deal.

- I'm kind of drunk. - Yeah, actually.

Speaking of, me, too.

I'm not going to have phone sex with you.

- Excuse me? - I'm not going to have phone sex with you.

That's a weird turn. Who said anything about phone sex?

Well, I'm just saying if that's why you called me, I'm not doing that.

That is not why I called.

You're the one who keeps talking about phone sex.

Okay, well, tell me that you're not thinking about it.

Well, I am thinking about it now because you brought it up,

but I promise I wasn't thinking about it before.

So, should we do it?

Okay, fuck it. Let's do it.

But I want to say right off the bat,

I don't think we're going to be good at it.

I think it's going to be a little bit embarrassing.

This was never really our vibe.

Okay, well, since I've been with you, I've been with many a man.

- Weird brag. - What I mean is,

I have gotten really good at phone sex.

All right. Um, who goes first?

How do you start phone sex?

Um, okay.

What am I wearing?

I don't know. Probably a pair of underpants.

Okay, let's not call them underpants.

That's not sexy at all.

Okay, what are you wearing?

- I'd rather not say. - Just say it.

I'm wearing my favorite pair of overalls.

No. No, no, no, no. No.

Leif, come on.

I still wear the same overalls

that I wore when we were together.

Okay, don't say overalls. You're ruining it.

Okay, okay. I'm wearing pants.

Oh, you're so bad at this.

Okay, I'm lying down now. Are you touching me?

Yes, I am. Very softly.

So soft, you could barely feel me.

- No, rough. - Rough, that's exactly what I was saying.

I started soft, but then I went so rough, like an animal.

Okay, um, why don't you take your pants off?

You mean my overalls? Because it is a whole thing to take these off.

Stop saying overalls.

Unless they're like...

are they like fireman overalls or something?

Yeah, they're... they're exactly like firemen.

Well, I can tell you're lying,

so I want you to just take your pants off.

Now. Ready, go.

You're the boss.

Do I narrate it or just do it

and then come back and talk to you?

- Leif, come on. - I'm just going to start.

The shirt's coming off.

Okay? Give me one second.

Well, are you taking your pants off?

I can hit it. Fucking one-button, man.

Wait.

Wait.

I'm totally naked.

I am rubbing you down hard.

You're covered in oil.

I just got off a shift and I'm a fucking fireman.

- Audrey? - Leif, did you just fucking hang up on me?

Fully accidental if I did. My phone dropped.

Did you hear anything about the fireman thing?

I'm going to go do this by myself.

- It's over? - It's over.

How could it be over? It just started.

- My overalls are half off. - You blew it.

Hey, will you come up here?

To your dead mom's cabin?

Well, I don't call it my dead mom's cabin,

but I'm dying to see you.

Um, yeah.

Yeah, I can come up on Friday.

- This Friday? - Yeah.

Let me check my schedule. I'm free.

Okay. Okay. Great, yes.

Medium sex with my ex-boyfriend.

Let's do this.

Count on it.

But don't count on it being very long.

I don't want the pressure.

- See you Friday. - Good night.

I'm not going to do what you think I'm going to do,

but only out of respect for our relationship.

In fact, I need to take a shower.

Hey, that's enough.

Nora, stop it.

What do you want?

Hey! Can I help you?

Hey!

Hey! What do you want?

Right.

Who the fuck is this?

It is Gorka.

Why are you yelling at me?

Oh, I'm sorry, Gorka.

It's... what's going on? How are you?

I'm good and I'm bad, my friend. Listen.

I won't dance around this subject

because I have too much respect for you.

I've known you for too many years,

too many roads, too many bus tours.

Too many girls, too many bands, too many stories we share.

You're dancing around the subject. What's up, Gorka?

The band wants you out and I can't believe it.

- What? - It's not personal.

It's just your style, your energy,

your vibe, and your personality doesn't fit in.

My personality, Gorka? How is that not personal?

- It's my personality. - Also the fact that you're older

than the rest of the band members by, like, 20 years, and you play the bongos.

I'm a percussionist. I don't just play bongos.

Well, you favor the bongos too much.

Fuck off, Gorka.

I don't favor bongos too much.

Maybe it's not cool to have an older bongo player.

I'm sorry, man. First your mom and now this.

You're on a shitty roll of luck.

Yeah, I'm on a pretty shitty roll of luck, Gorka.

Well, I have more bad news.

Your cabin at the back of my property

is deemed an illegal additional dwelling unit.

What does that mean?

Well, it means we have to tear down your little hut.

Oh. Don't do this right now.

Hey, maybe we could pull it apart and make a bonfire,

like a farewell to this time of ours.

Maybe it's a good thing. Maybe it's a sign that we have to move on.

I mean, look, you have a new cabin now.

Why don't you just live there? You will be fine.

Hey, Gorka, is this, um...

is this because Nora bit you?

No. Not even a little. No, no.

Because I apologized about that and it's not going to happen again.

And it was my fault. She shouldn't have been off-leash.

It's not. I've forgiven your dog for mauling me.

Uh, all good?

Do you have anything else to say?

What else is there to say?

Okay. I'm sorry, man.

- Bye. - Yeah.

Talk soon.

Hmm.

Hey, Gorka.

Dawn, he's out. Got rid of grandpa.

- Yes! You're the best. - Okay, bye.

That's on you, 100%.

You bit him and you fucked us.

You know what people call a dog that bites?

A biting dog asshole.

And that's how you're acting.

Fuck!

What the fuck?

Sometimes life is messy.

It doesn't go as you planned,

but you can't wallow in that.

There's no time.

You need to suck it up

and pick up the pieces and rebuild.

It's like your music, Leif.

Your career hasn't gone exactly as planned,

but it's not over.

Um, how do I say this?

Leif, you just think too much in your art.

You're so fucking scared of what people

are going to say or think and it's killing you.

So this is my request.

I want you to play a song just for me.

Play it from your heart.

Don't worry about if it's good or bad or any of that kind of stuff.

Just do it for me because you fucking love to make music.

I promise I'll be listening.

You know, I'm a shitty painter. Okay.

But I'm also great because I paint for myself.

I paint because I love it.

And that's what you've forgotten.

You forgot that you love your music.

Yeah, I was just jamming.

It was really fucking awesome.

And it made me think that I don't need to be

in a band called Restaurant.

What I need to do is make my own music.

And so I feel really thankful to Honey.

You know, I never would have got there, but...

Leif, I'm not going to...

I'm not going to come up.

- What? - To the cabin.

I'm not going to come.

Why not? What are you talking about?

I just... I can't do this.

I can't do this with you. You're not just a hook-up to me.

Oh, come on, Aud. I could be a hook-up.

I'll be a hook-up this trip. Just come.

Shut up, Leif, please.

Just come. Look, this is a celebration, remember?

- My mother's dead. - Listen, I like you is the thing.

I like you so much.

I'm going through a brutal break-up and it's painful.

I don't know, I don't want to lead you on

and then disappoint you, which is what would happen.

You know? So, I'm not going to come up, Leif.

I just... I can't.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Okay, great.

I'm going to go.

Unless you have anything else to say.

I don't know what else

to, um... to say, Audrey.

Okay.

Yeah, I guess that's it.

I hope that, um...

look, it was really nice to... I hope you...

Um, I'm going to go, okay?

Okay.

Bye.

Yeah, good, um... have a great life.

Okay.

Bye.

Mother... fuck.

Nora, come on. We're going for a walk.

Fine, I'll go alone.

Hey, Nora?

Nora?

Nora? Nora?

Nora!

Come on, girl! Where are you? Nora!

Nora!

Nora!

Nora! Come here, girl. Nora!

Nora? Nora!

Nora! Come on, girl!

Fuck!

Bridgeport police.

Yeah, I'd like to report a missing dog,

maybe a stolen dog.

- Hold please. - Can you please just...

Whew, okay.

Bridgeport Police.

Hi, I'd like to... is this the same person?

No, sir, this is someone else.

I would like to report my... my dog is missing.

Or stolen. I don't know. I think stolen.

There's a man in a yellow jacket who stole my dog, so...

- and I know his address. - Okay. What's his name, sir?

I do not know his name. I have not seen his face.

All I know is that he's been in a yellow jacket,

and I know it's him because yesterday

I accidentally broke into his house

and that really pissed him off.

You broke into his house?

Well, I didn't technically break in.

My mother gave me the key. Okay? My mom is dead.

Okay.

And she made a list, and I had to do the list.

And on the list I had to break into this man with the yellow jacket's house

and leave a note on his bed, okay?

I would like you to send a patrol car there.

And if the dog is not there, I would like you to ask him some questions.

Okay. What did you say his name was?

I don't know the fucking man's name!

We're going in circles here.

He put two dead rabbits on my fucking hood!

He stole your rabbits as well.

He did... they're not my rabbits!

Sir, I'm going to need you to calm down.

You know what's gonna happen, sir?

Is I'm gonna go to this fucking guy's house.

Uh, sir?

And then you're gonna have two dead rabbits,

- a fucking dead dog... - Watch your language.

...and a fucking dead man on your hands.

- Hold, please. - Don't put me on ho... oh!

Nora! Nora!

Hey, if you're in here, man, I want my dog back!

I'm not fucking around!

Nora!

Nora, I am here. Make a sound and I'll come get you.

If he's near, I'll kill him.

Okay. "If you have my dog,

no questions asked."

Okay, "If you have my dog..."

"I'm the predator, not the prey."

Okay.

Nora?

Nora?

- Hey, fuck boy. - Aah! Fuck!

Back! Back! What the fuck did I ever do to you?

- What do you want from me? - I want to slice you open

and watch your fucking guts spill out, sugar dick.

Why are you fucking with me?

I think you've got that backwards.

You're the one who stole my dog, man.

If you did, just please give her back and then this is over.

I don't know anything about a fucking dog.

And you're the one that's been messing with me, okay?

You fucking broke into my house first, remember?

Well, yes, I do. There's an explanation for that.

- Oh, please. - I was doing Honey's list, okay?

She told me to go in and leave the note on your pillow. That's it.

That's how fucking pussy-whipped you are there, sugar dick?

You just prance your sweet cheeks all over town

doing whatever the hell she tells you to, fuck boy?

What the fuck is with your aggressive compliments, you fucking weirdo, man?

Just so you know, that's all you're ever gonna be to her.

You're just a little fuck toy and she's gonna chew you up

and spit you out when she's done.

Who is gonna do that to me?

Don't fucking play dumb with me, asshole. Honey!

Honey's my mom.

Like, your actual mother?

She gave birth to you? Oh, fuck. You're Leif.

Oh, fu...

Dude, that's hilarious.

So, wait, did she tell you about our fight, because I...

because listen, there's two sides to every story.

I'm not the bad guy here, okay?

I mean, she fucking stole from me.

Do you not know about Honey?

What about Honey?

Honey's dead, man.

What?

My mother's, uh... she passed away.

That's why I'm here.

Honey is dead?

Yes.

How?

Cancer, yes.

Cancer?

Jesus, Honey.

I didn't know.

Oh, fuck. She didn't say anything about being sick.

Who are you, man?

I'm Carl.

We were... your mom and I were lovers.

I mean, we were...

on a break and I thought she...

hooked up with some young dude to, you know,

just get a little on the side.

She used to do that sometimes.

Your mom had quite an appetite.

Yeah, young guys, threesomes,

I mean, group sex, whatever.

Oral, anal, I mean, she did it all.

She was a very, very sexual animal,

and that's probably not what her son wants to hear, I guess.

- Sorry. - No problem.

Oh, fuck.

God, I... I feel like I'm fucking made out of clay or something here.

Oh, God. I might pass out.

- Could I get a water? - Yeah, of course. I'll grab you a water.

You okay?

Coming.

- Thank you. - Yeah.

That's a lot of water, man.

Thanks.

We had a fight, me and Honey.

I mean, she stole from me and...

It seemed so important at the time.

God, I got so fucking mad.

I... I said terrible things to her.

I called my dog a biting asshole

before she disappeared.

Well, your mom was...

I called her some bad shit, too.

Called her a fucking thief and rat.

Just...

she really loved you, Leif.

I mean, it tore her apart

that she left you.

That was her big regret in life.

And it broke her heart that...

you didn't want anything to do with her after you grew up.

I mean, maybe she deserved forgiveness.

People who love each other should be together.

That's the bottom line.

I mean, time together

is what matters.

And now it's too late.

It's too late for both of us.

You know? We fucking blew it.

Shame on us.

I can't be here anymore.

It smells like her here, you know?

I can feel her.

I love you, Honey.

And I'm gonna miss you.

Oh, God, I'm gonna miss your smile and your...

your eyes.

Your mind.

Your sense of humor.

The taste of your vagina in the morning.

I'm gonna miss all of it.

I'm gonna miss you, sweet girl.

I'll miss you every day...

for the rest of my days.

Well...

I'll get out of your hair.

If you decide to stick around,

um, you know, you can come by my place any time you want.

We could, I don't know,

go fishing or something.

Tell you a lot of stories about your mom.

That'd be great.

I'll keep an eye open for your dog, too.

That'd be amazing if something happened with that.

Dogs have a way of reappearing on this mountain.

I hope so.

Nora?

Nora?

Come on, girl.

Nora?

This is the last one,

and then we're done.

It's called Green Lake.

It is my favorite spot.

It is so beautiful it hurts.

I'm gonna miss it.

Anyway, you're gonna hike there,

and it's not an easy hike,

so make sure you have on good shoes.

There's a red backpack in the garage

labeled "Green Lake."

Now there's some supplies in there

and there's a map in the front compartment.

You'll need that, definitely. Don't open anything else.

Just get the map and follow the instructions.

Enjoy the hike. I took it many times.

Countless times. And I always thought of you.

When I was missing you, I went here.

I always hoped you'd call me back

and we'd come to this lake together one day.

It's marked on the map. You can't miss it.

Yeah.

I made it.

It's really not that green though.

Now, under the big tree you'll find a box.

It's my ashes.

Once you find it, read the letter that's in the backpack.

All right.

"My name is Leif. My mother loved me.

I wish she was different than who she was.

I hated that she left me,

and I was never willing

to listen to anything she had to say

because I thought she was a kook,

and maybe she was.

But now my mother is dead,

and I am at a lake with no mother,

and she wants me to say these words.

'I love you, Mom.

I forgive you.

It's time for me to move on with my life

and be successful.

I will be dead soon. So will everyone.

So will the planet if those motherfuckers in government

don't start taking global warming seriously.

Fucking pricks! Money whores.'"

That's great.

"Now eulogize me in your own words

and scatter my ashes. Don't spill me."

I wish I had something great to say, Honey,

and I had a lot of feelings.

But I think my biggest regret is that we didn't spend any time together.

I just don't know you and you don't...

Heya!

Hi.

Beautiful spot.

Yeah, it's... it was my mother's favorite.

- Okay. Bye now. - Okay.

Bye now.

What the fuck?

Rest in peace, Honey.

Okay.

Whoa.

All right.

Aah!

Oh, shit.

Okay, you learned what I needed to teach you.

You let out your emotions,

you rekindled your love,

and you became the predator.

Those lessons are what I learned to be most important on this planet.

So now, you've learned it from me.

And, yeah, okay, they're from the Habata trinity

and I know you hate that shit,

but I did get some good out of those years

before they fucked me over.

And anyway, it's too expensive to sue,

so, yeah, that's that.

Now, obviously I have no way to prove you did the list or not.

There's no lie detector or anything insane like that.

But I do hope you did it, Leif, because it's meant to help.

I want for you to experience the best of this life, Leif.

That's all I ever wanted.

And most importantly,

to feel everything along the way.

Nora!

Oh!

Oh. Oh.

I'm sorry I said that about you.

You did it, kid.

Whoa! You finished the list. The cabin is all yours.

Or maybe you didn't and then I've just been wasting my fucking time.

But if you did, I'm so proud of you.

I hope you had a fun time.

It means a lot to me.

By the way, those were not my real ashes, of course.

When you think about it, it's not logical, right?

I mean, I hid the backpack. I hid the box.

And also, I do not weigh 50 pounds,

and there were not enough ashes in that.

But then you probably figured that out

because you're such a little smarty pants.

Sadly, I didn't.

Now this last bit is important.

You have to move on with your life.

What happened to you

is not what's happening to you.

Your past does not dictate your future.

Life is so short.

Try having some more fun.

And be kind.

I love you with all my heart.

I'm so sorry that I wasn't better at showing that to you.

I fucked up. I just fucked up and it was my fault.

I know it.

I'm sorry.

Now, I'm hoping and I believe

that we will be reunited again in some dimension.

- Oh, man. - I know you don't believe that,

but you're gonna feel so stupid when it happens.

And then,

maybe we can spend the time together

that we didn't in this life.

I would like that.

So...

until then.

This is a terrible painting.

And an even worse title.

I'm gonna miss you, Mom.

That's for sure.