Original subtitles

[filmrise sound effect]

[marathon sound effect]

[totally spies sound effect]

[device beeping]

[theme music]

[music playing]

[grunting and groaning]

[clank]

If only I could be big and strong like you, Humungo Man.

Then everyone would respect me.

[sinister music playing]

Wait a second.

Maybe I can be like you.

[laughs quietly]

[music playing]

Triple ice vanilla, Clover. Extra whip.

You got it, Sammy.

TOGETHER: Happy drinking.

[straw slurping]

Mmm.

Afternoon, girls.

I have great news.

We're finally getting a raise?

Better.

We're having an Employee of the Month competition.

The best worker will get their picture on the bulletin board

for the whole campus to see.

The whole campus?

That's just the kind of dating exposure I need.

Count me in, Virg.

[ding ding]

I don't know, Virgil.

Working at Mali Cafe isn't supposed

to be about competition.

It's supposed to be teamwork and good times.

Did I mention the EOTM will also get

an eco-friendly sports car for the month that

runs solely on coffee beans?

[gasp] Eco-friendly?

That's awesome!

In fact, why don't you go home early tonight?

I'll finish your shift.

That is so unfair.

I was just about to offer.

[growling]

Hi, girls.

Uh, hi, Alex.

Would you Mind s I took your shift tonight?

After all, a good Employee of the Month

loves to work, work, work.

Mind?

Are you kidding?

I could totally use a relaxing night off.

Bye.

Uh, gee, Alex, since you don't have to work tonight

and I don't have to work tonight,

maybe we should not work tonight together.

Come again?

What I'm trying to say is, would you like

to go out on a date with me?

[gasp] Are those VIP tickets to the opening of Torpedo,

LA's hottest new restaurant?

They sure are.

Hmm.

Wow, Virg.

It's so sweet that you'd want to share them with me.

But the truth is I just never thought

of you as more than a friend.

[wind blowing and ice crumbling]

That's OK.

Maybe after our outing, you'll change your mind.

Oh, maybe you're right.

Maybe I just need to get to know you better.

[blink blink]

[music playing]

[excited giggle]

Coolio!

It's like being at the aquarium at feeding time.

Only we're inside the tank.

[water bubbling]

Wow.

Cool.

Allow me.

Hey!

Sorry, Alex.

Uh, not a problem.

I love checking out a restaurant's floor

before I eat.

[nervous laugh] - Oh, yup.

It's clean.

[romantic music playing]

Would you care for an appetizer?

Mmm, it all looks so exotic.

I think I'll have the--

Crusty crustacean crumbles, buffalo

water wings with [inaudible] cheese, and the barnacle bites.

Oh.

OK.

You're choosing for me.

I guess that's nice.

[gulp]

[groaning]

Uh, Alex?

You look a little funny. Are you OK?

[throb throb]

Uh oh. Oh no!

This dish must have kelp in it.

I'm totally allergic!

I'm really sorry.

I didn't know.

It's fine.

I'm sure my face will go back to normal size.

[thud]

Eventually.

What's that?

It's the hourly simulated torpedo blast.

Hang on!

[machinery whining]

[screams] Whoa!

[groans]

[sighs]

Sorry, Alex

Virgil, please don't take this the wrong way, but three

sorries is a lot for one date.

I think it's best we just stay friends.

Excuse me.

[music playing]

[sighs] I'm such a loser.

This will definitely go on my "never do

again in a million years" list.

[sighs] Hey!

Whoa!

[screaming]

Hey, Alex.

Whoa.

Check out that stain.

Or is wearing your drink the newest fad?

If you go out with Virgil, it is.

Our date was a total disaster.

[screaming]

[grunting]

Girls, I have an important mission for you.

Important enough to take me from my shift at Mali Cafe?

It's seriously cutting into my chances of winning the Employ

of the Month contest.

Employee of the Month?

You mean that's why you took over my shift for me?

Oopsie.

Did I forget to mention that to you?

OK, girls.

Back to the task at hand.

A 10 foot tall character has been sighted in Beverly Hills.

By character, do you mean malice-spreading uber baddie?

Well, not exactly.

This one seems to be wearing red tights and a cape.

Ew.

Fashion disaster much?

Yes.

Well, aside from his poor attire,

he's also power-lifting everything

he can get his hands on.

[sighs] In that case, might as well load us up with gadgets,

Jer.

Bad date.

Hmm.

Well, here you are then.

You'll have to Wind Tunnel 9000 Turbo Blast Hairdryer,

the yoyo lasso, the inflatable lead anvil,

and a super sticky dry dates.

The healthy way to stop a villain in his tracks.

Indeed.

Now off you go.

[screaming]

[music playing]

Hope this doesn't take too long.

I want to work on my [inaudible] quad shot tonight.

The ideal companion for a late night study sesh.

Puhlease.

Everyone knows fruity is the new coffee.

That's why my Chocoberry Blended will totally win me EOTM.

Don't you agree, Alex?

I think they both sound delish,

but they're going have to wait.

Look!

[people screaming]

[evil laugh]

Hey!

That's Humungo Man with the kung fu kick, mortal adversary of

[inaudible].

How can you possibly know that?

I've never even heard of him.

My nephew has one.

Only his is a toy action figure.

Well, we'd better see what's up with this real life version.

Come on.

[grunt]

Hi, there, Humungo Man.

Would you mind putting the car down, please?

Huh?

[laughs] Humungo Man does what he wants.

And as soon as I show everyone how strong I am,

they'll all respect me.

[gasp]

Now buzz off.

[crash]

Rude 'tude, dude.

And even after I said please.

I got this one, Clover.

Hiyah!

[metallic thud]

Ahh!

Nice work, Alex.

Yeah.

That'll teach him to mess with a girl fresh off a bad date.

[laughs]

[growls] Never mess with Humungo Man!

[gulp]

[groaning]

[gasp]

That serum must be some sort of humungo muscle concoction.

I wonder if we could eliminate the evil part--

And add it to our coffee drinks.

Awesome idea, Sammy.

Hyah!

Whoa!

[screech] Can't believe I'm going to say this,

but Clover, Sam, focus!

Right.

Let's jet on over and surround this baddie.

Ha!

We'll just see about that.

[girly warcries]

[evil laugh]

He can fly?

The toy can't do that.

No worries.

I got him!

Hiyah!

[smack] - Ow!

Hard.

Rock hard.

[thwack]

[screams]

That's just unacceptable.

Hiyah!

Yah!

Hm.

Uh oh.

[flick]

Ugh!

OK, he's really strong.

[evil laugh]

Why fight muscle with muscle when you can use your gadgets?

Erryah!

[surprised yelling]

Ha!

[thud]

Awesome yoyoing, Alex.

Humungo Man can be detained, but he cannot be stopped.

That is, like, so optimistic of you.

But really, we already won this round.

[grunting and struggling]

And we'll just take this for safe keeping.

[device beeping]

Hello, ladies.

How's the mission going?

Mission accomplished, Jer.

Baddie secured for pickup.

We'll drop off this humungo muscle serum in the morning.

Yeah.

Right now, we've got to jet back to the Mali Cafe.

We better hurry, girls, before anyone at the Mali Cafe notices

Clover and I are missing.

You're right, Sam.

Our 15 minute breaks are almost up.

I sure hope it's not too late to fix things with Alex.

Huh? Sam?

Clover? Alex?

What are those crazy outfits they're wearing?

And how they are flying?

[music playing]

I guess being spies is fun and all,

but sometimes it so interferes with other things.

Spies?

Did she just say spies?

That's ridiculous.

[beeping and warbling]

Or not.

No wonder Alex doesn't want to date me.

Compared to her, I'm totally ordinary.

Congrats, again, on putting that baddie in his place, Alex.

Yeah.

Lucky for you, Virgil was such a lousy date.

He totally revved you up.

[laughter]

Guess that means I'm going to have to seriously

step up my game if I ever want to get

on another date with Alex.

[ding]

What's this?

I bet if I looked like you, Alex would want to date me.

[music playing]

Such a jerk.

I can't believe you're going out with [inaudible]..

Virgil will be way impressed when I feng shui Mali Cafe.

All I have to do is reposition the door, windows,

tables, and coffee bar. - It's a coffee house, Clover.

As in, it's all about the java?

That's why I'm importing coffee bean plants

to put at every table, so customers

can harvest their own beans.

Alex, whose idea do you like better?

I think the cafe is great just the way it is.

Time show Alex what a great guy I am.

Saving her from a speeding mini tram should do the trick.

[gulp]

Ahh!

[groaning]

[laughs]

[evil laugh]

Hrah!

[gasp]

TOGETHER: Alex!

Don't worry, Alex.

I got you.

[screams]

[crash]

[boom]

Alex, Virgil totally saved you.

A totally buff Virgil?

Have you, like, been working out?

Maybe a little.

[grunting]

Well, thanks, Virgil.

That was really heroic.

No biggie.

I do this kind of thing all the time.

See you around, Alex.

See ya.

Hmm.

[yoga music playing]

Are you sure you should be taking yogalates class, Alex?

Yeah.

Feel Like, you almost got majorly squashed.

I feel fine, really.

OK, Virgil, time to show Alex your next impressive move.

[breathes in and out]

[screaming]

What?

[screaming]

Oh!

Ahh!

Whoa!

TOGETHER: Alex!

Someone turn off the spin cycle!

I'll save her!

[macho laugh]

Ahh!

Wow, Virgil.

That's, like, twice in one day.

Yeah.

Good thing you were around.

Again.

I don't know what to say.

Thanks, Virgil.

No big deal.

Hmm.

Hmm.

[music playing]

After this, Alex is sure to like me.

Hrah! [thud]

- Whoa, what's that?

This is SoCal.

As in, earthquake!

[screaming]

TOGETHER: Alex!

Not again!

Got it.

Hmm?

[ding]

Rrah!

[macho laugh]

Virgil?

You're, like, everywhere we are today.

Luckily for Alex.

Yeah.

Lucky for me.

Guess I should be grateful, considering

all these freak accidents.

Grateful enough to go on another date with me?

Like I said, I think it's best if we just stay friends.

Especially since I'm discovering I don't know you at all.

Of course.

I understand.

[growling]

Still not good enough for you, huh?

Well, I'm not giving up yet.

[gulp]

[groaning and clothes ripping]

[music playing]

Don't worry, Owen.

In a moment's time, you'll be back to normal.

[owen groaning]

JERRY: Oh my.

That's what you think, old guy.

Coincidence much?

I mean, hello?

Virgil saved Alex three times in one day.

And how did he get so strong all of a sudden?

Yeah.

Like, humungo strong!

[gasp] The serum.

Has anyone seen it lately?

We totally forgot to send it to Jerry.

You don't think-- - It's gone!

I'm no mathematician, but it's pretty clear 2 plus 2

equals Humungo Virgil.

Girls, I'm afraid we've had a little mishap.

Humungo Man-- AKA Owen-- has just escaped.

Don't worry. We'll find him.

Well, do hurry.

Oh, and I'm still waiting for that serum

you were supposed to deliver.

[nervous snickering]

Funny you should mention that, Jer.

We just realized that we sort of lost it.

Lost it?!

Well, you'd better find it ASAP before it

falls into the wrong hands.

We already know whose hands it's in.

Obviously, Virgil found it and took it to get humungo.

I just don't understand why he would do that.

He's such a sweet guy.

Duh.

So he could impress you.

Whoa.

If I wasn't so weird out, I might actually be flattered.

We'll deal with Virgil later.

Right now, we have to stop Humungo

Man from terrorizing BH.

[helicopter zooming in]

[screaming]

Bingo.

Hrah!

[crash]

[roar]

Step away from the cars, you oversized oaf!

Forget it.

Humungo Man won't be stopped this time.

Rrah!

Hold on!

[screaming]

Hrah!

Rrah!

Whoa!

Ahh!

Look out!

[puppy whimpering]

[gasp] That's it!

I draw the line at puppy flinging.

[crash]

There you go, little guy.

[puppy whining and yapping]

Come on, girls.

Let's show him our muscles.

Hiyah!

[thwack]

[screaming]

OK, I've had enough.

Time to blow this humungo maniac away.

[air blowing]

[groaning]

Nooo!

[giggling] Pink is definitely his color.

[pat pat]

I'll call WOOHP for a pickup.

[crash]

TOGETHER: What?

[music playing]

Unbelievable!

Virgil?

What are you doing here?

There's another humungo dude in BH

who's getting your attention?

What does a guy have to do around here to be noticed?

Ha! Ha!

Ha!

Virgil, stop it!

Make me.

Sammy, why don't you take this one?

Me?

Uh, no.

I think you should handle it.

I got the last one.

This one's yours.

Girls!

[sigh] Oh, all right.

But if I don't get Employee of the Month,

it's on your head, Alex.

Hrah!

Hey, Virgil?

I know the timing is not ideal, but I

was thinking the cafe could totally benefit

from some feng sh-- whoa!

[squish] Ok.

Point taken.

No feng shui.

But I've got a million other ideas.

Hrah!

Hey.

Virgil.

Hyah!

You seem a bit tense.

Let me whip you up my special blended half-caf spiced chai

mocha. It's very calming.

Forget it.

I hate decaf!

[thwack]

[thud]

Sheesh.

Fighting for Employee of the Month is hard work.

I know this is just the effects of the serum,

so I'm going to do my best not to hurt you, Virgil.

Too late.

You already hurt me by acting like you're too good for me.

Me?

You're the one who's acting all weird.

You totally changed after we went on our date.

How can I be myself when you're busy being a spy?

I knew you'd never give me another chance

unless I was Humungo Virgil!

[thud]

[crash]

Hrah!

This is all because you want another date?!

Fine.

I'll give you another date.

[thud]

Ow!

A super sticky date, to be exact!

[device charging]

Yah!

[rapid firing]

[thud]

[growling and groaning]

Hmm!

Whoa.

Nice toss, Alex.

Yeah!

Way to go.

(WHISPERING) She is so not getting EOTM.

Don't worry, girls.

Owen and Virgil will only be in the containment facility

long enough to be returned to normal.

They won't remember a thing about their humungo mischief.

Good.

Because EOTM announcement is in a few hours.

Huh?

And I'm sure to be the winner.

Duh.

Maybe if I didn't exist.

Well, I'm glad.

Just because Virgil's a lousy date

doesn't mean I want him going to WOOHP jail.

Hmm.

[music playing]

[whistling]

Hi, Sam. Hey, Hey, Virg.

I'll be with you as soon as I finish

alphabetizing the pastries.

Uh, Biscotti, croissant, danish.

Hmm.

How's it going, Clover?

Great!

I'll have the beans polished in just a jif.

There you go.

Enjoy.

[chime-y music playing]

Can I have your attention, please?

I'd like to Announce our very first

Employee of the Month winner.

It's none other than Alex!

[cheering and applause]

[thud]

Me?

That's right.

Now, time for your prize.

How can that be?

We worked so hard.

Jerry must have erased all the stuff

we've been doing from Virgil's memory

when he brought him back to normal.

Of course.

That's why neither of us won.

[groaning]

Here's your brand new eco-friendly car, Alex.

Yay!

A whole month of eco-friendly driving.

Huh?

Yahoo!

Uh--

[kissing sound]

So, I was thinking.

Maybe if you wanted, I could go for a ride with you

in your new prize?

Hmm.

On one condition.

You promise to just be yourself.

Really?

If I didn't like you for who you are,

Virgil, I wouldn't be going out with you in the first place.

You got yourself a deal.

Oof!

Ahh!

[embarrassed laugh]

OK.

Be yourself.

But Like don't open any doors for me, OK?

[laughter]

[theme music]

[filmrise sound effect]