Original subtitles

[beeping]

[theme music]

[laughing]

[gasp]

Mamma mia!

[screaming]

[explosions]

[music playing]

ALEX: Hmm.

Uh, girls?

Does euro villain Lars Van Der Baddie get

filed under L, V, or D, or B?

Ugh.

[gasp]

Beats me.

By the way, how many euro liters are in a 12 cup coffee pot?

I'll have to get back to you on that one.

Right now I'm a little busy euro photocopying.

[beeping]

PHOTOCOPIER: Error. Error.

[non-english]

[sigh]

Is it me, or are these missions Jerry has

us working on incredibly lame?

Totally.

I thought when he brought us to Euro-WOOHP for his R&R trip

we'd be doing new things, not cooped up in some dingy office.

[sigh]

If only Jer was here so we could complain.

Hey, maybe he can be.

After all, think about where we are.

[gasp]

You're so right, Sammy.

We can WOOHP him!

[evil laughter]

I'm sure one of these buttons will do the trick.

[sighing]

Hmm.

[tap]

[gasping]

Clover!

Oopsie.

Err.

[beep]

[grunt]

Clover!

Sorry.

[grunt]

[beep]

[grunting]

Hmm?

Hey.

Oh.

[grunting]

[beep]

[rumbling]

Clover!

OK, OK.

This next one has to be it.

[grunting]

Hiya!

OK, everyone.

I expect a fair fight.

No splashing, no pushing, no blowing.

Now, good luck and may the best captain win.

Ready!

Set!

Launch!

What in the world?

Ah!

[gasping]

[screaming] Ohh my!

I can't believe it.

I've just been WOOHPed!

[grunt]

I wonder what's taking Jer so long.

Like, maybe I should push that button again?

[gasp]

[grunting]

Oh, please!

Once is more than an enough.

[grunting] [cheering]

Hey!

It actually worked.

Sorry for the harsh WOOHPing, Jer, but really need to talk.

Yeah, all this office work is driving us crazy.

As in you better give us some major euro freedom,

like pronto.

[electric frying]

After what's just occurred I quite agree that you

could use a little downtime.

[cheering]

[giggling]

Indeed.

But before I let you go, I have a little something for you.

Don't bother, Jer.

We won't need any gadgets while we're off sightseeing.

I don't know about you girls, but I

have got a serious Rome Jones.

Oh, I'm not giving you any spy gear, Samantha.

[gasp]

You mean, you're giving us a totally sweet euro ride?

Something like that.

[gasp]

[trumpet playing]

[gasp]

Wow.

When you said little something, you meant little something.

But how are we supposed to fit in there, Jer?

I mean, this is WOOHP, not clown college.

Though the Micro appears small,

it's actually quite roomy on the inside.

Plus it's compact design makes parking a snap.

Cheerio.

[screaming]

[engine noise]

Roomy on the inside?

As if.

Mmm.

Uh, Al, are you sure this is the right way to Rome?

According to the Micro's digi-map we should

be there right about now.

Ha!

Hmm.

Mhm.

Alex!

That isn't Rome, it's a smear of chocolate.

Oops.

It must've dripped out of my afternoon euro pastry.

[tire screech]

Well, what are we going to do now?

We're totally lost.

No worries.

We can just go to that cute little village

and ask for directions.

[engine noise]

Why do cute villages always have

to have cobblestone streets?

I don't know, but we better pull over before we

and the Micro come apart at the seams.

Are you crazy, Al?

There's no way I'll be able to squeeze

into that puny little spot.

Just d-d-do it before we all t-t-toss our crepes.

[screeching]

[hissing]

Wow, I guess Jer wasn't kidding when he

said parking would be a snap.

Wow, girls, this place is big time beauteous.

Apparently, we're the only ones who think so.

As in creepy Italian ghost town much.

Maybe everyone's on summer holiday.

Good point, Alex.

Except for the part where it's March.

[grunt]

Besides, that doesn't explain why

all the store's doors are wide open,

and everyone's cars are still here.

In that case, our sightseeing trip

just turned into a spy mission.

[footsteps]

Except for the eerie silence, I'm not

catching anything too unusual.

[screaming]

Alex? Alex?

Where'd you go?

ALEX: Down here!

Oh no!

Ugh.

I'm fine.

Just stumbled into a crater filled with some kind

of weird red goo.

A goo that smells like marinara sauce.

[explosion] [gasp]

What was that?

I'm not sure.

But I don't think we should stick around to find out.

[explosions]

I guess now we know why everyone in the town fled.

This place is under attack.

[explosions]

[screaming]

[explosions]

[screaming]

Look out!

Come on, we can hide in here.

[explosions]

[sigh]

Oh!

Good choice, Sammy.

These fuchsia baguette bags are to die for.

[giggles]

Ah, Earth to Clover.

Now is not the time for shopping.

We're having you notice that it's raining calzone bombs.

As in mega-sized baked turnovers

of pizza dough filled with veggies, cheese, and sauce?

Yeah!

The same sauce I fell into earlier.

[gasp]

She's right.

And boy, do they pack a punch.

And there goes a giant flying pizza.

[explosion]

[explosions]

[grunt]

Hmm, look kind of yummy too.

JULIANO: I told you, brother.

This town ain't big enough for both of our pizza shops.

Aha. - I agree, brother.

Which is why it would to be a good time for you to leave.

[grunt]

[explosion]

Saa!

[gunshot]

[explosions]

[grunting]

[explosion]

[gasp]

Feuding pizza brothers?

OK, it's official, Europe is way whacky.

At least now we know it's not us who's being targeted.

[grunting]

[grunt]

[explosion]

[grunt]

[explosion]

Still, we got to do something fast.

Or not only is the town going to be destroyed,

but we're going to be majorly caught in the crossfire.

I'm with you, Sammy.

On account of there's no way I'm getting taken out by takeout.

I've got an idea.

Quick, grab as many belts as you can carry.

[grunting]

I don't know, Sam.

over accessorizing is a major fashion

offence, even on spy missions.

Just trust me, and follow me up to the roof.

[grunt]

[gasp]

[sigh]

[grunting]

[screaming]

Look out! [explosions]

[grunting]

[coughing]

What part of, trust me, includes

crawling through grossie old smoke stacks.

[coughing] - Yeah!

The human chimney sweeper team totally trashed my outfit.

OK time to stop complaining and start improvising.

- Uh, I don't follow. - Don't you see?

I'm making my very own batty nabbing bungee belt.

[whooping]

[grunt] [whooping]

[grunt]

[whopping] - Yeah!

Huh?

[whopping]

Haha!

Awesome idea, Sammy. Ya!

Ya!

[whopping]

Now, let it rip, Al.

You got it.

[laughing]

Take that, you second rate hack.

[explosions]

[grunting]

Who are you calling second rate, you no good has been?

[grunt]

[explosion]

[whopping]

Huh?

[thud]

[grunting]

What's happening?

What's happening is, you're totally busted.

OK boys, start talking.

Yeah, as the victim of an unwanted saucing,

I demand to know exactly what you're fighting about.

Ah, It's simple.

Me, Juliano, with my signature calzone,

I'm the best pizza maker in the town.

Please, it's me, Giuseppe, and my exquisite pepperoni

pizza, who's the number one.

So let me get this straight.

You're willing to destroy an entire town and each other,

just to prove who's the better pizza chef?

Yes.

Hello?

Overly dramatic much.

Huh?

Hmm.

Look, all we've got to do is a little taste test

and we can end this feud once and for all.

Hey, that's a great plan, Clover.

Yeah!

Bring on the grub.

[laughing]

[laughing]

Hmm.

Ha.

[grunt]

Hmm.

[music playing]

[whimpering]

[chewing]

So what do you think?

Mmm, excellent choice of flavors.

[grunt]

And mine?

Wow, Amazing blend of textures.

Ahh!

So who's the winner?

It's a tie.

Your both way talented cooks.

Huh?

Which is why you should give up the silly argument

and go into business together.

You think so?

Really?

Totally.

OK, si. I'll do it.

Me too.

Good.

Now shake on it.

Now, if you can promise to behave yourselves and stop

fighting, we'll let you leave.

Deal.

Arrivederci.

I don't know about you guys, but after all this feud

settling I'm completely wiped.

Me too.

What do you say, we resume our Rome trip in the AM?

Fine, but with all the hotel owners out of town,

it looks like we're going to have to sleep in the Micro.

No!

Are you nuts?

There's no way I'm sleeping in that shoe box.

Sorry, Clover. We don't have much of a choice.

Fine, but I'm warning you, hatchbacks are

so non-beauty sleep conducive.

Not only will we join forces, but we'll

become the greatest pizza duo in all of Italy by any means

necessary.

[music playing]

[cat meow]

[yawning]

Morning, ladies.

[gasp]

Jer!

What the heck are you doing here?

There are some strange abductions

occurring all over Italy that I'd like

you ladies to check out ASAP.

What kind of abductions?

It appears that the best pizza makers in Italy

have been reported missing throughout the country.

[gasp] [thud]

- Pizza makers?

I wonder if Giuseppe and Juliano are in danger.

Giuseppe and Who-liano?

Juliano.

As in the feuding pizza maker brothers we met last night.

That I don't know.

But I do know where each of the crimes occurred.

Milan, Venice, and Florence.

Hey, Alex, queue up the Micro's NAV system, would ya?

Ha!

It's just like I thought.

The abductors are making their way south toward Rome.

Then that's exactly where you need to go.

Well, what are you waiting for?

Slap some gadgets on us.

Very well then.

Today we have the laser lipstick, the helping hands

extender glove, and the cool breeze high velocity

propeller beanie.

Good luck spies.

Forget it, Jer.

There's no way this puny Micro is going to cut

it on a major spy mission.

Oh really?

Try pressing the horn.

Huh?

[trumpets playing]

[gasp]

Jerry?

Why didn't you tell us about that function sooner?

What?

And ruin the comic effect? Na.

[laughing] [sigh]

[engine roaring]

[tires screeching]

Huh?

[beep]

[tires screeching]

[screaming]

[plane flying]

I can't believe it, I'm finally

going to see Rome, the most cultured, romantic,

historically rich city in the world.

Uh, Earth to Sam.

Now who needs to focus?

Yeah, we're on a mission, remember?

Hello?

It's called multitasking.

Hey, maybe I can join that tour group down there.

[plane flying]

[gasp]

That tour group looks like the abducted

pizza chefs Jer showed us.

And they're being led by Juliano and Giuseppe

with some sort of super strong dough shackles.

When they agreed to work together,

I didn't think it was going to be toward evil.

Come on!

Bah.

[non-english speech] You call yourselves chefs, well,

you're no match for our Krypeletosta titanium

infused secret formula dough.

Now hurry along.

The sooner we get rid of you, the sooner

the world will only have our delicious cooking to enjoy.

OK, if your plan was to take the restaurant world by storm--

Hmm.

--you're going to need some serious schooling

on your people skills.

[grunt] - Huh?

[grunt]

We've got our people skills covered, missy.

Si, as in, we're skillfully rounding up all of the people

who are our competition, ah.

Yeah, right!

You're going to have to get through us first.

Hiya!

[grunting]

[thudding]

[grunting]

Oh, where'd these guys learn those moves?

What?

You think being a chef is all sugar and flower?

Look out!

Olive oil slick.

[screaming]

[thudding]

[grunting]

[sigh]

[laughing]

[footsteps]

Gross.

This is like a hot oil treatment gone way crazy.

Where do you think these creepy cooks are taking us?

I think I have a pretty good idea.

[gasp]

That's the Roman Colosseum?

It looks way smaller in real life.

That's not the real Colosseum, that's a restaurant

built to look like it.

Except, what's with the weird roof?

[hissing]

Keep moving.

we're loosing heat.

Whoa, it's like a sauna in here.

How's about sitting us on the patio instead.

You'll all be happy to know that you'll be receiving

the highest honor ever.

Mmm?

[beeping]

Juliano's right.

In any minute you'll all be baked

into our latest, and the greatest competitive kitchen

creation, the Stromzoni.

[laughing]

[gasp]

Enjoy.

Enjoy.

[screaming]

[chewing]

ALEX: Ahh.

So those loony brothers actually rigged this place

up to be a giant stove?

[screaming]

I'm just relieved they didn't do it to the actual Colosseum.

Reality alert, ladies, the clock's ticking,

and if we don't do something fast,

our goose is going to be cooked, literally.

Normally, I won't get caught dead wearing

something like this, but desperate times

call for desperate accessories.

[whirring]

[screaming]

[whirring]

[sighing]

Bad look, but good thinking, Clover.

Still, it's not going to last forever.

We need to figure out how to get out of here.

I vote we go up.

Bungee time.

Huh?

You're going to need this more than I will.

Oh.

[grunting]

Phew, now I know what an apple feels like stuck inside a pie.

What have you done to our beautiful culinary creation?

[grunt]

We got company, spies.

Ahh!

[gasp]

[sigh]

Mamma Mia, look what those girls have

done to my beautiful crust.

[grunting]

[laughing]

I vote we go down.

[whirring]

[screaming]

[grunting]

Haha, we've got enough dough to have gadgets too.

[screaming]

Try to keep them occupied.

I have to get those chefs out of there before it's too late.

[laughing]

[gasp]

[grunting]

Oh, terrif.

How do you even battle weaponry like that?

[grunting]

Clover, shut down that pizza slinging catapult.

Why can't you just deliver pizza

in a car like normal people?

[thud]

[screaming]

Let me down before I get spinning spy sickness.

[laughing]

[grunting]

[thudding]

[grunting]

Mmm.

This could be one of the most delicious missions ever.

[music playing]

[whirring]

Oh.

[engulfing fire]

[screaming]

Ow.

Less than a minute before those chefs are well done.

That dial must control the temperature inside.

[grunting]

Stick around.

You haven't even had the dessert yet.

[grunting]

[scream]

[grunting]

[laughing]

Now is when a girl could really use a helping hand.

Hey.

Hiya!

[crashing]

[screaming]

What are you doing?

That's too hot, you'll burn it.

Hehe, oopsie.

[grunting]

Ah!

[grunting]

Turn down the heat, brother, she's going to be ruined.

What can I do?

She break our oven.

[buzzing]

[grunting]

Girls, I think this would be a good time to take cover.

If only I could move.

I'm on it, Sammy.

[laser zapping]

[explosion]

[grunt]

[scoff]

Now you've done it.

Your a stupid stromzoni did us in.

No.

You're a lousy cook and you ruined our master plan.

[laughs]

You know, even if the service was horrible I'm still

going to give you a tip, get out of the restaurant business,

fast.

[music playing]

[door close]

Bye!

Bye!

Finally, the city of Rome is in mine.

So what should we do first, girls?

See some history? Look for romance?

Do a little shopping?

Ohh, I don't think I can make it, Sam.

I ate twice my weight in Italian food,

and now I feel kind of green behind the gills.

But this is our free time.

Come on, Clover, what do you say?

It's Rome, the city of amore!

Sorry, Sammy.

We've got a spy in distress.

Hey Alex, you wouldn't mind making a pit stop back

at the village, so I can buy that fuchsia leather purse I

had my eye on, would ya?

But you can't go.

I haven't had a chance to see Rome yet.

Get a grip, Sam.

It's just a dusty old city.

[beep]

[grunting]

[scream]

[trumpets playing]

[engine roaring]

Yee haw!

[tires screeching]

No!

It's not just a dusty old city!

I am not leaving!

There is so many things to see, all the museums and--

I can't miss the museums!

No!

There are things to learn here!

[jet flying]

[theme music]