Original subtitles

[soft music]

[gentle music]

[whooshing]

[beeping]

[theme music]

[digital chirping]

[crowd murmuring]

[digital chirping]

After 30 years, the Third Street Bank is

once again open for business.

[crowd cheering]

Looks like it's time to finish the job.

D'oh.

Oh!

OK, Grandma.

Time to go to your new maximum security home, the kind

you'll never leave.

[grunts]

[grunts]

[suspenseful music]

[handcuffs rattling]

We'll just see about that.

[chimes tinkling]

[digital chirping]

[rockabilly music]

Um, This is Malibu University, Clover.

Keyword being university.

What good are good grades when you're all pasty?

Trust me, Sam.

A tan coed is a happy coed.

[groans]

And a coed who doesn't fail first semester

is an ecstatic coed.

Whatever.

I'm so not worried.

You're looking at the master of the last minutes study sesh.

Hello?

Can't you, like, see I'm doing some important cramming

on my tan lines, here?

[romantic music]

Oh, I mean, hi, there.

I'm Clover.

What's your major?

The name's Blaine, captain of the Mali-U

beach volleyball team.

[squeals]

So, Blaine, what do you like to do for fun when

you're not hitting the sand?

Coach says if I spend half as much time practicing as I do

on shoe shopping, hanging at coffee cafes,

and watching romantic comedies, I'd probably go pro someday.

[squeals]

[gasps]

Wow, forget Coach.

I think you sound perfect.

Oh, uh, I mean perfectly well rounded.

You know, with a lot of interesting--

interests?

Hm, I should really get back to practice,

but would it be OK if I, you know, got your number?

[gasping]

BLAINE: Wha?

Call me!

- Hm. - Whoa.

That was way weird.

Yeah.

It was like being in a parallel universe with a male Clover.

A total hottie who likes everything I do.

I can hardly believe it, myself.

In fact, I can't think of one thing that could spoil

our soon-to-be relationship.

[romantic music] [digital chirping]

[gasping]

Except this!

[screaming]

[grunts]

[screaming]

[groaning]

[whimpering]

I'm beginning to think there's some evil conspiracy to prevent

me from getting a tan.

No conspiracy, Clover.

Just a highly treacherous mission.

[funky music]

[digital chirping]

You three are to escort an extremely dangerous criminal

from WOOHP's containment facility

to a higher-security penitentiary.

If a the is so dangerous, why didn't you

just put them in the penitentiary

in the first place?

Um, with the recent deluge of criminal masterminds,

WOOHP has been experiencing a little overcrowding as of late.

[gulps]

Exactly how dangerous is dangerous?

Yeah, I may have an important date tonight,

and I'd like to be around to enjoy it.

Spies, meet The Granny.

[funky music]

[laughter]

That's the dangerous criminal mastermind?

[laughs]

What's she guilty of?

Keeping her world-famous cupcake recipe secret?

[beeping]

Hm.

Aw, she totally reminds me of my own granny.

I should give Nana a call.

I miss her.

Don't let looks fool you.

The Granny was one of the most notorious and ruthless

bank robbers of her generation.

Keyword being was.

For your mission, you'll need the ultra-inflatable nylon tech

vests, jet backpacks, infrared motion detector sunglasses,

and the pressure inversion snow spray.

It's like hairspray, only much colder.

[screams]

[laughs]

I doubt we need all this fancy stuff, Jer.

After all, The Granny is in her 80s.

Sam's right.

If we can't outrun a woman in big, padded shoes,

we should just give up now.

I assure you, The Granny is very cunning,

so please be extra cautious.

Your new vehicle should help.

[squealing]

[groans]

Awesome!

It has a titanium shell for protection against baddies

and a hover feature for quick getaways.

Not to mention shock absorbers, for perfect lip

gloss application, no matter what the road conditions.

[scoffs]

A girl's gotta have her priorities.

I'll drive.

GRANNY: Shotgun!

[laughs]

Hey, I'd know that smell anywhere.

(SINGING) Crispy on the outside, soft and chewy

in the middle.

BOTH: (SINGING) If cinnamon's your fave,

have a Snickerdiddle.

[groans]

[screams]

[whipping] - Oh.

Ouch!

What'd you do that for, Sammie?

Didn't your mother teach you to never take a Snickerdiddle

from a stranger?

Relax, sweetie.

They were baked with love in WOOHP's containment facility.

The only thing I was able to sneak in was real butter.

Real butter?

That is a crime!

If I had your beauty and metabolism, dear,

I'd eat an entire container every day.

You must have all the boys after you.

Not all the boys.

[laughs]

Just most.

Remember, girls, Jer warned us not to fall for her totally

transparent act.

And you're obviously the brains of the group.

With intelligence and insight like that,

you must outsmart all the criminals.

[laughs]

Well, not all the criminals, just most.

Now, who's ready for a cookie?

[moaning and chewing]

It's like a little taste of butter-infused heaven.

Woo!

[moaning]

Oh, my gosh.

That is so good!

Yeah, they totally melt in your mouth.

So what do you say we get this show on the road?

You don't want to keep the nice folks at WOOHP waiting.

[engine revving]

[tires squealing]

[digital chirping]

[whooshing]

[birds chirping]

According to my X-Powder, the high-security WOOHP pen should

be coming up on the right.

Knit one, pearl two.

And presto!

Just a little something to remember me by.

What's it for?

Why, it's a cozy for your X-Powder, dear.

Aw!

How did you know purple is my fave color?

Call it a grandmother's intuition.

Can I have another Snickerdiddle?

Oh, dear.

Now, you've got crumbs all over that cute suit of yours.

[laughing]

Stop it.

Oh, Granny, that tickles.

Oh, are the restraints chaffing you?

No, dear.

Just my stiff joints flaring up again.

Would you mind loosening them just a smidge?

Hm.

I guess a smidge couldn't hurt.

[laughs]

It's not like you're going anywhere, right?

And miss all this girl talk?

I haven't had this much fun in years.

[laughs]

[groaning]

[gasps]

[tires squealing]

[grunts]

Sayonara, ladies.

[screaming]

[stammers]

Forget it.

There is no way I am taking on a frail old lady.

We'll call that fatal mistake number two.

[tires squealing]

[gasps]

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

[groans]

I've always hated backseat drivers.

But I'm not in the backseat.

We'll just see about that.

[screaming]

[dramatic music]

Thanks for the tricked-out ride.

Later, losers.

[screams]

[grunts]

[air hissing]

[groans]

[groaning]

[grunting]

[air hissing]

Tell me we weren't just bamboozled by an elderly lady.

Worse.

We were bamboozled by an elderly lady wearing

a fuzzy yellow cardigan.

I cannot believe I fell for her lovable granny routine.

Oh.

I guess it's time to call Jer and fess up to our mistake.

[groans]

[digital chirping]

Where are you girls?

The WOOHP penitentiary is still awaiting your arrival.

Listen, Jer.

Um, we have something we need to tell you.

The Granny kind of overpowered us with her knitting needles,

and then took off in the WOOHP vehicle.

Oh, my.

I was afraid something like this might happen.

I warned you, The Granny is extremely cunning.

Oh.

[funky music]

Don't worry, Jer.

We're on that baddie like Clover at a 50%-off shoe sale.

Good.

Because she'll be up to her old bank-robbing tricks

the first chance she gets.

[digital chirping]

Let's just hope these tracks hold up.

Why bother with tracks when you can follow the vehicle's

tracking system, instead?

[digital chirping]

Great thinking, Clover.

Now, let's hit it.

[funky music]

[phone ringing]

[squeals]

I bet that's Blaine.

Clover?

Where Well you?

It sounds like you're in some kind of wind tunnel.

That's just my new, um, uh, windy ring tone.

You like?

How can it be your new ring tone when

we're already on the phone?

Well, uh, what I meant to say is that I'm in the, um,

Mali-U skydiving club.

Adrenaline's such a rush.

Guess you're too busy to grab a coffee, then?

Not a chance.

See you at the Mali-U cafe at 3:00.

Mm.

Girls, I think I'm in love.

[grunting]

Aw, I didn't realize how much I

miss Bev Hills until just now.

[squeals]

The new winter line's just in.

A quick peruse couldn't hurt.

OK.

First, we nab The Granny.

Then, you can shop till you drop.

[digital chirping]

[suspenseful music]

Come out with your Snickerdiddles up!

Huh?

Wow!

That old gal can really move.

I just hope I'm as good shape in her age.

It's fitting we're in a dead-end alley,

'cause we are so dead when Jer gets wind of this.

[digital chirping]

[static crackling]

Bingo!

OK, you're not gonna believe this,

but it looks like The Granny scaled that wall.

They say power yoga can keep you young well into your 80s.

[grunting]

[gasping]

The Sunny Lane Retirement Home?

What would a notorious bank robber be doing here?

Only one way to find out.

I'm with ya.

After we put on disguises, of course.

[zapping]

[laughing]

That's a good look for you.

Yeah, laugh all you want, but Jer totally owes me an aroma

therapy facial for this.

[grunts]

[laughter]

[playful music]

So, which of you lovely ladies would

care to play a round of bridge?

[laughs] [groaning]

That's you two.

I can guarantee he's not talking to me.

[whooshing]

We're north and south, and they're east and west.

So, who wants to cut the deck?

But we don't even know how to play?

What?

[explosion rumbling]

Sorry, but I think you've just been trumped.

[suspenseful music]

[shouting]

[door crashing]

[groans]

Not so fast, Granny.

[groaning]

Alex!

That's what you think, deary.

[screaming]

[grunting]

Don't worry.

Thanks to the shoe's excessive padding, it doesn't hurt a bit.

Oh, yeah?

Well, how about this?

[coughs]

[groaning]

No!

[groaning]

[digital chirping]

[suspenseful music]

[groans]

[grunts]

[grunting]

[laughs]

Hosed by support hose.

That's a first.

[grunts]

[grunting]

[screaming]

[grunts]

[grunts]

Hey, no fair!

Oh.

Tell me about it.

Heirloom jewelry should only be used for good.

[evil cackling]

Wow, The Granny must be on one of those high-powered seaweed

and algae shakes.

She's totally amped.

Which is the exact opposite of how

Jer's gonna be when he finds out The Granny outsmarted us twice.

If she outsmarted us, then how come she left behind a clue?

Check it out, girls.

All these bills are made out to Papa.

Papa?

Hardly seems like a baddie's name.

Well, he served 15 years for one of the most notorious bank

heists in British history.

So, Papa and The Granny were a bank-robbing super team?

More like a super trio.

Just like us.

[laughs]

Sorry to interrupt, but there's been

another escape from a state-run minimum security prison.

The escapee is also in her 80s.

That must be the other woman from the photo!

[gasps]

The Granny's rounding up her former gang!

And my guess is, they're planning something ginormous.

Thanks, Al.

That totally narrows it down.

I'm afraid it is a bit vague.

Until we have more to go on, you three should return to school.

Awesome.

Now, I'll totally be on time for my date with Blaine.

[laughter]

Glad I could help.

[whooshing]

[light music]

[zapping]

They say the right clothes can make you look years younger.

Yeah, about 60 years younger.

Oh, no!

My X-Powder's gone all fritz-y.

No, no!

Eject us anywhere else but here!

[grunts]

Clover?

Is that you?

Hey, there, Blaine.

Oh, is that a vanilla no-foam soy latte?

[laughs]

When you said, "Let's meet for coffee",

I had no idea we were supposed to dress up.

Oh, this?

[laughs]

I can explain.

I'm, uh, trying out for the lead in a play.

The Way Weird Odd Couple.

[laughs]

Cool.

I didn't know you liked the theater.

[laughs]

Neither did I.

[groaning]

[zapping]

ANNOUNCER: 30 years ago today, a team of notorious bank robbers

targeted this very bank.

But their efforts were thwarted by law enforcement.

All that's ancient history, though,

as the Third Street Bank is once again open for business.

Hm.

[gasps]

Is it me, or is The Granny's plan

suddenly not so vague anymore?

Yeah!

Looks like she and her posse have some unfinished business

with the Third Street Bank.

Sorry to interrupt, but we've gotta jet.

You know how Granny hates to wait.

Sorry to drink and dash, Blaine.

Promise to make it up to you.

I totally understand, Clover.

You've gotta visit your granny.

We'll do something tomorrow.

[suspenseful music]

[slurps]

[panting]

Girls, now I know I'm in love.

[groaning]

[whooshing]

[gloomy music]

MAN: Thank you. - Hi, there.

What can I do for you today?

Actually, deary, how about we see what I can do, instead?

[gasping]

What's going on?

This is a stickup.

Hands in the air where I can see them.

What's a matter, sonny?

You having trouble believing an old lady can rob a bank?

[shouting]

[engine revving]

[missiles firing]

[screaming]

[missiles firing]

[groans]

Do your worst!

[screaming]

[grunts]

[laughing]

Do you believe us, now?

Step on it, sonny.

We ain't getting any younger.

[laughter]

[alarm blaring]

[gasping]

Did you pull the alarm?

[gasping]

I always tell my grandchildren to play nice.

They don't listen, either.

[shouting]

Oh, no!

[laughing]

Sounds like we got here just in time.

What do you say we drop in on the old granny unannounced?

You know how old people hate surprises.

Well, folks, it's been a pleasure

doing business with ya.

[grunts]

Unfortunately, we gotta run.

Ha!

Ooh!

Sorry, but you golden oldies aren't running anywhere.

We prefer the term youth challenged.

[grunts] [teeth chattering]

[gasps]

[whimpers]

Ugh!

Now, that's what I call an overbite.

Hey, are you OK?

You really need to be worried about yourself, dear.

[grunting]

What are you waiting for, sweets?

Scared to take on someone of my advanced years?

Duh!

Please.

I eat spies like you for breakfast.

[groaning]

OK.

Now, you've gone too far.

Granny or no granny, no one touches

the crop by my hairdresser.

[shouting]

Serves you right, you white-haired menace to society.

[grunting]

[gasps]

Alex, look out!

[gasps]

[shouting]

[shouting]

What's next?

Exploding curlers are bobby pin machine gun fire?

[zapping]

[screaming]

I was kidding!

[screaming]

[laughing]

Wait right there, Alex!

[laughing]

Ouch!

Watch where you're going, would ya?

[groaning]

I never thought I'd be glad to have to wear granny hose.

Until now.

Can't breathe.

I'm warning you.

Let Sammie go!

[groaning]

[laughing]

What are you gonna do?

Pay me to let her go?

No.

I was thinking of making you pay!

[air sputtering]

[shouting]

[suspenseful music]

[gasping]

[gasps]

[grunting]

[tinkling]

I wove Kevlar yarn right into the cable knit.

My sweater's not only warm, it's bulletproof.

Now, take them down, Bubbe.

Care for a mint?

[screaming]

[groaning]

Gross!

Get them off!

I'd love to, only they're so sticky and old, I can't move.

[screaming]

Ew!

I hate to think what would happen if we actually ate them.

[gasps]

That's it!

What's it?

Warm weather!

MAN: Sammie, this is no time to plan a vacation.

[digital chirping]

[sirens blaring]

[groaning]

Ciao, girls!

We'll send you a postcard from Mexico.

Woo-hoo!

[tires squealing]

[ice creaking]

[screaming]

What's happening?

[ice whooshing]

[dramatic music]

[groaning]

I knew I should have put my travel agent on speed dial.

Wow!

Old people really do hate the cold.

Great thinking under pressure, Sammie.

[laughs]

Low pressure, that is.

[clapping]

Nice work on the octogenarians, spies.

Hm.

Huh?

That's a fancy word for old--

oh, never mind.

[funky music]

I'm gonna miss that sweet smile.

Not to mention that incredible hair.

What's your secret?

Ha!

As if I'd fall for your sweet old lady talk again.

[growls]

[engine cranks]

Bye.

[bubbling]

[digital chirping]

[upbeat music]

Whoa, this place is totally sweet.

It almost makes me want to rob a bank.

What?

I said almost.

Well, we can always come for a visit.

Ah, since when do we visit baddies in our spare time?

Uh, since I tasted Granny's Snickerdiddles.

[groans]

Mm.

[digital chirping]

[funky music]

[zapping]

[groaning]

[coughing]

Guess installing that hair trigger was a mistake.

[knocking at door]

[coughing]

Who is it?

Uh, Blaine, you're coughing.

Are you sick?

What's going on in here?

I was just, um, making toast.

But I burnt it.

[coughing]

Remind me never to let you cook for me.

Hey, I almost didn't recognize you without the getup.

Actually, that's what I came by to talk to you about.

I promise the, uh, play won't interfere

with any more of our dates.

That is, if you still want to go out with me.

Pick you up tomorrow at 8:00?

[squeals]

[laughs]

You really are too good to be true.

Mm.

[playful music]

[whooshing]

[dramatic music]

[soft music]