Original subtitles

And now we're pleased to bring you our feature presentation.

My dad never came home from the war in Korea, and so when I was eight, my

grandfather gave me his job of raising the town flag each morning.

Our family name, Burroughs, is on all the monuments of every war.

We take our patriotism seriously in Homer.

Which is why when Dorothy Nelson returned home from the Navy in 1954, she

exactly get a ticker tape parade.

In a small town, if you've got any secrets you can't shout out loud on the

commons, maybe you should live elsewhere, a big city where your

know your name.

Homer, Connecticut was just a little too small for Dorothy Nelson.

I was beginning to get so worried.

The bus was late. Let me look at you.

Oh, I wish you'd worn your uniform.

I love it when the neighbors see you in it.

Have you had something to eat?

Do you want me to fix you some dinner?

Mama, I desperately need to sleep. I've been on the bus for three days.

Well, how long can you stay?

Well, I'm not going back.

I decided to leave.

For good.

But you love the Navy.

Why don't you see it? You know, let's talk about it later.

Please? I'm just going to rest right now.

I'm really tired.

Okay, Mama?

I guess I won't be missing Reveille.

I missed home cooking.

And it's so great to be able to watch television.

You never should have bought that.

You were supposed to be saving for college, remember?

I thought you'd like it. I love it.

I never miss Jack Benny when he's on.

But it is extravagant.

So, what do you propose?

I'm sorry, but I don't earn enough to put food on the table for both of us.

Well, you can't just loaf about the house all day.

I know.

I'm going to look for a job, starting today.

In this town?

Most girls your age are married and raising families.

They're hiring men, heads of households, veterans who have sacrificed for our

country. I sacrificed for our country. Nobody says you haven't.

First thing I'm going to get is a new coat for you.

First thing you're going to do is get a job.

Welcome home, sailor.

Howdy, Mr. Burroughs.

How's your grandson?

Oh, just dandy.

You ought to see little Johnny raise the flag every morning just the way his

father used to.

You home on liberty?

No, I'm home for good.

Say, you ought to join us at the American Legion.

We've never had a girl bet before.

Wouldn't that give the wives a surprise?

I just don't think that that's something that this town's quite ready for just

yet.

I'll see you.

I heard you were back.

Of all my Bobby's girlfriends, you're still my favorite.

How is Bobby?

You know Bobby enough to make him run away and join the Navy.

Come in the store. Let's talk like the old days. I can't right now. I have to

find a job.

Well, good luck.

Thank you.

I'll see you later. Bye -bye.

Bye.

Welcome home.

For the first girl from Homer to ever go naked.

Hi, Miss King.

Oh, please, Janet, I'm not that old.

Here you go.

Lunch is on the house.

Thank you, Janet.

Hello. She is.

I'll tell her. Thanks.

Dorothy, that was your mother on the telephone. She wants you to go on over

the elementary school as quick as you can and report to Chuck Dawson.

Seems someone just quit.

How did she know that I was here?

What else can you eat in this town?

Good luck.

A very good job for a young woman your age.

You know, keep your hands full until you're able to have a few children of

own.

I'm your gal.

This will be nice for your mother, too. You'll be able to go to work together.

Thank you, Mr. Dawson. That's lucky for both of us. Now, if I can just get a

look at your discharge papers, we'll move this right along.

My discharge papers?

Was that really necessary?

Oh, didn't you bring them? Well, you can always...

Go home and get them, bring them back. I'm here until 5 o 'clock.

I may have to explain a few things.

No need to explain. I'm an army man myself.

There's a blue discharge.

Yes, sir.

This is Section 8.

That can be explained.

Well, I'm sure it can, but I'm not your commanding officer.

I can't hire somebody with a dishonorable discharge, and I certainly

somebody with a Section 8 to work with schoolchildren.

Does your mother know that you got a dishonorable discharge for this, this

sexual deviancy?

No, sir.

Well, out of the respect that I hold for your mother, I'm going to keep this

quiet just between ourselves.

Good day, Dorothy.

Hey, is that your father's name on the monument?

Yes.

Here's my father's.

You want to know something really neat?

Whenever you really need anything, like help on a big test or good

grades in school, you just come right here, you touch your father's name, and

it's good luck.

It is?

Sure is.

Try it sometime.

We'll see you around.

See ya.

Well,

what

a wonderful coming home present my daughter's given me.

Telling my employer... I'll be lucky if I have a job after 15 years.

What does my leaving the Navy have anything to do with it? You didn't leave

Navy.

You were thrown out because you are...

I brought you up to be better than that.

And you've disgraced me.

I will not have

filth and perversion in my...

Stay as long as you like here.

Sit down.

Comfy like a real bed, see?

Mr. Manos, thank you.

It's okay, that's okay.

You don't know what people are saying about me.

Who listens to people who don't know you?

Say, what do you say to helping us out in the store till you land on your feet?

I would love to help out.

The whole thing will blow over. Your mama will change her mind, you'll see.

You got mixed up a little bit.

That's what youth is for, getting mixed up.

Everything's going to work out, 100%.

Dorothy, my wife needs some help up front.

Carry Mrs. Burgess's groceries to the car.

Yes, ma 'am.

No, thank you. That will not be necessary.

I said that will not be necessary.

I think I'll come back later.

I'm sorry. Mrs. Dawson?

Dorothy,

would you please go back to your work in the stockroom?

I can handle things here.

It's no good, Dorothy.

You're scaring away our regulars.

You'll have to leave.

I'm sorry, Dorothy, but what can I do?

I'm sorry too, Mr. Manos.

Okay, there you go, son.

That's her, all right. She looks like one.

She does not. She looks perfectly normal. She looks like a queer.

Come on.

What's the matter, huh?

Don't you like boys?

Is that it, huh?

Come on.

Go, Daddy!

Where are you going?

Hey, hey, hey!

Okay, stop.

Game is over. Go home, boys.

Okay. Yeah.

You know what? It's closing time.

I was going to have a drink.

Would you care to join me?

Yes. You look like you could use one.

Come on.

Thank you.

Okay.

So, what happened?

Did you want out, or did they want you out?

It's funny.

Nobody else in this town has even bothered asking me that.

Well, why ask when you can gossip?

Does everybody think that I'm... A lesbian?

I don't know.

You know, I never even knew that there was such a thing until I signed up.

That was the first time that I'd even thought about it.

Sheeping beauties, hit the decks. It's 0500. I want your butts lowered and

dressed and the entire company mustered in ten minutes.

Let's go.

Move it, ladies.

Hey, miss.

Hey, slow down.

Come join us.

Leslie.

Lesbo! Is that what you joined out for, a little shower activity?

Even if enlisted men call you names, you will behave like ladies at all times.

It is normal to form close friendships with other women in the Navy, which may

last beyond the service.

This is normal behavior.

But lesbianism must be eradicated from our ranks.

If you know of or suspect any such behavior, you will report it to me

I will not brook such behavior.

When you're told week after week that you mustn't think of something, soon

that's all you can think of.

Hey, scholar.

When do you get your nose out of that book?

There are just two ways a girl can go blind.

Reading and jerking off.

And I did wonder why I'd never fallen in love with a man.

Put it back in your pants, girls.

You just earned yourselves a Section 8.

And then the Navy started cracking down.

More and more waves were getting drummed out just on the suspicion of being

lesbian. One rumor was all it took.

They could have come for me at any second.

So just imagine my relief when I met this wonderful man.

I knew one thing for a surgeon.

I had never met anyone like Billy Temple in this man's Navy.

Chief Petty Officer Billy Temple requesting permission to address

Commander Pat McPherson on the urgent matter of how to train waves on proper

bedpan techniques.

Yes, sir.

Now, you don't have to tell the old gal exactly what I said.

She is watching us, though.

Yes, sir.

Dorothy.

Dorothy?

Is your name really Dorothy?

Dorothy as in, I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Dorothy?

Tell me something, Dorothy, do you like the movies?

Yes, I do.

Well, how'd you like to join me at 1900 and the Mess tonight?

There's your own stage door.

Oh, I love new movies.

Oh, child.

Child, child, I can see Cousin Billy's gonna have to take you in hand.

Stage door is a classic.

Stage door illuminates human existence.

Stage door is free.

1900.

I'll see you there.

Seaman Nelson, Seaman Nelson, I'm so glad you came. Sit down.

Allow me to introduce my gang of hospital corpsmen. They're quite a rowdy

Ray, Tony, this is my friend Dorothy. Pleased to meet you.

Delighted. You know, I'm a friend of Dorothy's.

And I'm a friend of Dorothy's. Watch it, clowns.

You see, we call ourselves the friends of Dorothy because we just love the

Wizard of Oz, don't you?

From the beginning, I really liked Billy.

He was sweet and kind of shy.

He certainly wasn't like any of the boys in Homer.

No, I guess that's a blessing, huh?

A blessing in disguise, perhaps.

I saw a lot of Billy in the week to come.

He was just so charming and funny.

What about you?

Why'd he join up?

Oldest cliche there is.

I want the Navy to make a man out of me.

Did you ever see any action? Oh, yeah.

I got myself a Purple Heart and everything.

It makes for a good pickup line, if nothing else. You know, he wants to come

to my place and see my Purple Heart.

Hmm.

Well, Billy, I hope you don't think that this is too forward of me.

I would love to come up to your place and see your Purple Heart.

Dorothy, you're a sweet kid and everything, but don't be getting a crush

old cousin, Billy.

Would that be so terrible?

Yes, I'm afraid it would be.

Why?

Boy, you see, I'm not like other men.

That's why I'm crazy about you.

Listen, Dorothy, I care about you.

If I could fall in love with you, I would.

I wish I could.

But...

All I can ever be is your friend.

I'm a friend of Dorothy's.

That's a code name for men like me.

I'm homosexual.

I thought you knew that.

I'm such a fool.

Oh. Dorothy, no, no, you're not at all. But listen, if you even breathe one word

to your CEO after ten years of service, I am out with no benefits.

Don't worry, you can trust me, Billy.

Don't worry. I know, I can't.

Dorothy, I hope this doesn't offend you, but I think maybe you

got a crush on me for a reason.

You see, I always thought you liked me because you were like me.

You mean a friend of Dorothy's?

Mm -hmm.

I don't know.

Oh, come on.

You have thought about it, haven't you?

Sure you have.

Yes.

Yeah, Billy, I have.

And you did join the Navy for adventure, didn't you?

Mm -hmm.

Do you think you're up for some?

Mm -hmm.

Good girl.

then I'll show you the time of your life. You meet me downtown, 1 ,900

And where are you civvies?

Where we're going, it's best not to advertise you're a suave.

I've never seen so many.

What? Men dancing with men?

Women dancing with women? Colored people dancing with wives?

Ruby owns this place.

Most of these places are in the colored part of town.

Colored people know what it is to live and let live.

Sit down.

Can I get a couple of scotches here for me and my friend?

Dorothy, this is Ruby.

Welcome to Ruby's, Dorothy.

You're letting this man lead you astray.

Now, don't you worry.

Everybody here is real ladies and gentlemen.

It's just that sometimes their clothes don't match.

Thank you, Ruby.

Now, listen.

The bouncer sits over there by the door. The first sign of trouble, or if

someone comes in that he doesn't know, he flips a switch. Now, you see that

light over there?

Mm -hmm. It's important to watch that light while you're dancing.

If that light goes on, you grab me or the man nearest to you and start

okay?

Relax. This place almost never gets raided.

Ruby pays for her protection regularly.

Come on, I got the first dance.

Oh,

see that?

Red lights just came on.

Must be someone with a balance that didn't know came in.

There's some old bull dagger coming in from the cold.

Oh, my God.

Billy, it's McPherson, my CO.

I think she just saw me.

We've got to get out of here.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, darling. Take it easy there. You might have just had a stroke

of good fortune.

See, if she knows you saw her come in, she's not going to say anything.

You might even get a promotion out of this.

Billy, let's go.

Hey, would you relax? We're supposed to be having a good time now.

Who's that?

Oh, that? That's just Max.

Max? Well, really, it's Maxine.

Mind if I cut in?

Oh, not at all.

I mean you, honey.

I'm sure she'd be delighted.

Max, take care of her, won't you? Excuse me.

Don't tell me you've never done this.

Done what?

Dance with a woman before.

there's something else you've never done with a woman.

What?

behind me. I'll catch you on the other side.

Hold my hand tight.

Dude, stop right there!

Hold it, hold it!

It all happened so fast after that.

I don't know how long I was interrogated.

Witnesses have testified that you were seen engaging in intimate behavior with

woman. We danced.

You don't remember the names of any other enlisted personnel in the bar?

No.

You could trust me.

I don't remember anyone else.

We're not going to get much more.

Lieutenant, I really do think it was her first time in the bar.

It falls to your discretion to overlook a first -time offense.

Get rid of her.

Yes, ma 'am.

Sign here. We're indicated on all copies. It's a Section 8 discharge.

Effective immediately.

What's going to happen to Billy?

Court -martial. Hard labor for not cooperating with our investigation and

corrupting enlisted personnel.

One stroke of the pen and there went my college tuition.

My pension? My future? You can put yourself through college with no thanks

Uncle Sam.

I came to find a job with my discharge papers.

True, not in Homer, but... Dorothy, listen.

If you fell in love tomorrow, got married and had five children, people in

town would still whisper every time you left the room.

Small towns don't forgive or forget.

What am I going to do?

The only place I know where you can just be a faith in the crowd and not treated

like an outcast is New York City.

New York?

Nobody's going to ask for your discharge papers in Greenwich Village.

Listen, I've got a friend, Beth Mayer. She lives

in the village. She's got a big heart for strays.

If you want, I can give her a call.

Okay. I can give her a call right now. Finish your eggs.

Okay.

Thanks, Janet.

Bev said that she would be happy to give you the use of her sofa for a week,

which should give you enough time to find yourself a room. There's her phone

number and her address.

Were you two?

We were roommates.

Very good friends.

We still are.

Leave it at that.

Janet, I don't know if I am a lesbian.

Well, you're not going to find out in this town.

Listen, Dorothy.

If you are a lesbian, become an extraordinary one.

I want you to take this.

No. Yes.

I help you get started in your new life.

I can't. This is... It's not a gift.

It's a loan.

Many years ago, I found myself in a really bad situation.

And a woman gave me a very generous sum, which saved me. And she told me she

didn't want me to pay her back.

But instead that... When I could afford it.

She wanted me to help out some promising young woman.

Some young woman who found herself in trouble, too.

So there.

I've paid my debt.

You do the same.

Yes, ma 'am.

It's late.

I'm tired. You take the sofa and...

And get the bus in the morning.

Miss Nelson, I'm sorry to hear about your daughter being in trouble.

I don't have a daughter.

That was the last time Dorothy Nelson was in Homer, except for the day of her

mother's funeral.

My granddad told me never to get mixed up with her kind.

But I thought she looked nice, and she looked worried.

So I rubbed her father's name for her, to bring her good luck, wherever she was

going.

Something seemed to never change.

So when my time came, I went to war, like my father, and his father before

You don't want to get it all tangled up.

Grampy never let me help him.

He said this was a boy's job.

In his day, it was.

There. Pull it down and unclip that side.

Got it?

Okay. Now stand tall.

Don't want to let it touch the ground.

Is that like a sin if it touches?

It's more of a sign of disrespect.

We show how we love our country by how we handle our flag.

I was lucky enough to survive.

I returned to Homer looking for peace in my own life and in the world around me.

What about those people on television who burn the flag?

Well, it's a free country.

Do you hate them?

Honey, I don't have time to hate anybody.

Even when you're in Vietnam?

Especially when I was in Vietnam.

Ballet class.

Give me that end.

There, see?

That makes a nice triangle.

And tell your mother I'll be a little late for supper tonight, okay?

I'm a little behind on my flower boxes. Bye -bye.

Mr. Roberts.

Hi. Hi.

Mr.

Roberts. Well,

you know, I'd love to, Peggy, but I don't think my girlfriend would like it

much. And how many times do I have to tell you, it's pronounced Robert,

The T and the F are silent.

Mr. Roberts was a movie. I'm your French teacher.

Au revoir.

I told you you had a girlfriend.

Toby,

do you want to study together tonight?

Sorry, I can't, Peggy.

Monsieur Robert.

Why can't anybody else pronounce my name correctly, huh?

Hey, Toby, if this is about a grade, this isn't exactly office hours. It's

about a grade. No, of course not. You're my best student.

Oops, shouldn't have said that.

I didn't say it and you didn't hear it.

Well... Okay, shoot.

Do it with the school board, but if it's important.

It can wait.

Why, are you sure? You okay, Toby?

Can I ask you something?

Uh,

I mean, do you... Uh, uh, what am I, am I what?

Well, you know, everybody says you're gonna be principal of the school next

year.

Well, if I'm not too late for this meeting, maybe I will be.

I'm going to be late for swim practice.

A bientot, Professor Robert.

Au revoir, mon ami.

Hey,

Toby, how do you say 69 in French?

Sure wish my daddy would buy me a $15 ,000 toy.

Yeah, Toby, when are you going to paint it a pretty pink?

Leave him alone, guys.

Queer with a girlfriend.

Amazing. I'm not his girlfriend, Jimmy.

And I am not. You're what?

Look, you can't even say it.

You guys are being ridiculous.

Come on, Toby, practice.

We got that big meet with Bridgeport. Yeah, you can sneak some more looks at

people's dicks. Yeah, you got a lot of practice at that.

Just practice this.

No way, Jose.

Come on, guys, we got practice.

This is what we do to queers in Homer. Out of my commons you don't. What, are

you his boyfriend?

Get out of here, Jimmy Allen, before I call your mother.

Just wait, Anderson. I said beat it.

So why'd you help me?

I don't like seeing people fight, especially in front of the memorial.

It's disrespectful.

Not too many people come to read those war -dead names anymore.

I wouldn't die for this country.

They didn't die for this country. They died because they believed in something.

And look what you got for it.

I'm sorry.

I was out of line.

I believe in my family.

I believe in our way of life here.

That's enough.

You wouldn't believe in anything if you were me.

You want to talk about it?

Why does everybody act like I have something to talk about?

Hard of going.

Come on, get up.

Get off your chair and try your luck.

Dance, dance, dance, dance, dance all night.

Oh, oh, oh, now dance, dance, dance, dance all night.

Oh, no thanks, I had some at home.

You go on, it'll put some hair in your chest.

Very funny.

If you imagine a place like this in Homer, you'd be the only customer.

Well, we wouldn't have to drive halfway across the stage just to get a drink.

Okay, what is going on with you? Why are you doing this? Talk to me.

I actually do have to talk to you.

Something bad happened at school today. Oh, you fell in love with another

teacher. It happens all the time.

Oh.

I have this senior.

Toby Anderson.

He's my best student. He's every teacher's best student.

He's varsity state swimming champion. He plays the hell out of the piano, this

kid. Soda Van Cliburn and Liberace. Can we cut to the chase here?

I think he's gay, and I'm pretty sure he wanted to come out to me.

That's great.

That's wonderful. That means he thinks I'm gay.

Well, I don't know how to break this to you, darling, but you are.

Have you taken a look around you?

What did you do? Nothing.

I couldn't handle it.

He's going to Harvard in the fall. Let him come out in Cambridge, not in Homer.

Well, I would take it as an enormous compliment if one of my students wanted

come out to me. Yes, well, you're not about to be made high school principal.

Yes, I know, honey, but if we don't step up and be counted, what can we expect

from their generation?

Right, fine.

I love Homer.

I love teaching.

I love my life there. I love you.

Right, Gil, you love everyone and everything but yourself. That's not

isn't New York City.

This is not Stonewall.

Give me a break, Gil.

He's a kid.

What the hell are you afraid of?

Do you want to have a dance with your boyfriend?

Well, at this moment, he doesn't have a boyfriend.

I'm sorry. I came here to have fun tonight.

What is it that's so burning that it cannot wait, Monsieur Allen?

How do you say homosexual in French?

Why, are you planning to meet one or be one?

Well, I'm just planning on beating the merit out of one if he doesn't stop

looking at me all the time.

Well, uh...

If it were up to me, the only students who would have the mail beat out of them

are the ones who are full of it, such as yourself.

And on that note, I'll see you all tomorrow.

What's the word?

You're a big boy.

Look it up.

He meant me.

Yes, I figured that.

Why?

You think I'm gay, too?

I didn't say that, Toby.

You know, a bunch of them are after me.

Have you reported them?

No. And I don't want you to.

Well, I'd be failing you as your teacher if I didn't. I can take care of myself.

Yes, but...

to persecute another boy just because they think that he's a homosexual.

It's wrong.

It's disgusting.

Sounds like it happened to you.

Well, uh... Uh, almost.

Um, I played Juliet back in prep school.

And, uh, opening night, I had a black eye because they all thought that I was

gay.

And as it happens, it was our Mercutio who liked the boys.

This too shall pass, Toby. Believe me.

I think I am a homosexual, Monsieur Robert.

At your age. No, it's not about my age.

I'm 18. I start college in the fall.

I've been to Europe twice on my own. I think about this nearly all the time.

No, in fact, I think about it all the time. I hardly think about anything

I really don't think we should be having this conversation.

Well, if I can't have it with you, who should I be having it with?

I don't know what you mean.

Sorry.

I thought you were somebody I could talk to.

Wrong again, Toby.

Well, I'm sorry I'm not what you think I am.

Thanks a lot, Teach.

Hey, Jimmy.

I hear you have a new French word in your vocabulary.

Homosexual.

No.

But I have one standing right beside me. Why is the French word for blowjob?

Mr. Roberts knows all those queer French words. Because he is one.

Hey, Toby, you want to have Donovan's blowjob?

Guys, cool it. Coach is coming.

You know why those boys from Stanford are going to be the next state champions

and not you?

They're a team.

They'll win as a team because they work as a team. Now I'm ordering you to like

one another until the meet.

After that, you can kill each other.

Let's have practice.

Toby,

they're just boys.

So am I.

Well, they didn't mean it.

Yes, they did.

Look, I'm way out of bounds doing this, but here's the phone number I'm going to

give you.

Name is Laura.

She'll make a man out of you, I promise.

Toby!

This time we do have a study date.

Something came up, I can't.

What is wrong with you, Toby?

Nothing a good piece of ass won't care.

Disgusting. Probably sounds better in French.

we don't have to do this you know

Yes, we do.

Who says?

I do.

You don't have to prove anything to me.

I'm proving something to myself.

You don't sound very convinced.

I'm sorry.

There's nothing to be sorry about.

Half the time that coach of yours can't even... Oh, I shouldn't tell tales out

of school.

You were just nervous.

Wait till I get my hands on that son of a bitch.

You think I'm gay, don't you?

You think you're gay?

Being gay is not the end of the world.

It doesn't even make you special.

It's just something else about you.

You still have to wake up like everybody else and brush your teeth and try to

get through another day just like every other human being.

Make it sound so easy.

Wish everybody was like that.

We bring home the crew's first state championship in 15 years. Now, come on,

let's do it. Come on, let's go.

Go out there and do it, man.

Get through the race, coach.

What the hell do you think you're doing?

You're off the team.

I'll rip his head off.

You hear me, Toby?

You're on the team!

We'll just say goodbye to any college you ever thought of going to.

No one talks to this one, you got that? He is off the team. From this moment on,

he doesn't exist.

His swimming records don't exist. He is, pardon my French, a piece of shit.

And I'll personally kill anyone who claims I ever said that.

I trusted you.

I believed in you.

I even tried to help you.

Just as my thanks, huh?

Gentlemen, this is a sight to be pitied.

A grown man weeping.

Well, almost a grown man.

And maybe not even a real one at that. Let me out of here.

You can't, Denny. You're still on school property.

All right, everybody, hit the shelves. Come on, get the hell out of here.

Have you seen... Have you seen Toby? No. No, no one's come out yet.

Why would he do something like that?

It's just what I'm waiting to ask him.

Get the bag. Get him.

All right, hold him down. Come on. You hold him here.

This is for the championship.

I'll set him up. What are you doing?

None of your fucking business.

Danny, you stand guard, all right?

Jimmy, what are you doing? Are you crazy?

I'll give you what you want.

Is Toby Anderson still in there?

Is he in there? I don't know.

Well, if you don't go in there, I will.

Toby?

Someone's coming. It's Robert.

Where's Toby?

Toby?

You telling us?

We'll tell everyone we caught you two doing it. He's not going to say

Yeah, he's the biggest faggot the other one is.

what happens to faggots in Homer, Connecticut.

They're not going to get away with this, Toby.

I know who they are.

And they know who I am.

It's too bad you don't know who you are, Mr. O 'Bear.

I have asked for this time tonight in order to announce my answer to the House

Judiciary Committee's subpoena for additional Watergate tapes.

I'd rather have his problems.

Finally.

Oh, my God. The great sphinx has spoken.

I don't know what I'm going to do.

You don't know what to do.

Well, let's see.

Let's see.

I've got a liar and a hypocrite in the White House.

And I've got one right here in Homer. Only here's the thing. Here's the one

difference. I'm not in love with Richard Nixon.

He's not the man that I was expecting to spend the rest of my life with. It's

not that simple. Yes, it is. It is that simple.

It's who you are. It's who you are right down to your fingertips.

You don't stand up and be counted this time.

Gill, you'll never stand up and be counted. It's not that simple, Gus.

Go to hell.

The president has nothing to hide in this matter. You know what? I cannot

believe that for six years, six years, I've been in love with a coward.

It is the most solemn act.

Of our entire... Monsieur Alain? Yes, sir.

Mademoiselle Breverman?

Yes, sir.

Monsieur Chessman?

Yes, what is it, Jimmy?

Monsieur Anderson is... sick, Mr. Roberts.

He didn't come to class today.

Mademoiselle Flanagan?

Tobie, très malade.

Monsieur Frank?

Tobie, très, très malade.

Do you know the French word for cowardly or vile, Monsieur Allen?

It's lâche.

Lâche. Would you say it for me, please?

Lâche.

Oh, you can say it better.

Louder than that, can't you?

Let me put it in a sentence.

Je suis lâche.

I'm a vile coward.

Say it, please.

Je suis lâche.

I still can't hear it.

Can you, class?

Perhaps see if Messieurs Tate, Carter, and Langer would say it with you. Nous

sommes lâches.

Say it, please.

Nous sommes lâches.

No.

See, I think you'd be able to say it better if I told you more precisely what

the word means.

Lash means bullying.

Four against one.

It means hatred for anybody who is not like you.

It means you're threatened by someone's sexuality because you are so uncertain

of your own. It means Monsieur Anderson is not with us here today because you

think you have the right to tell him who he is.

means Toby was beaten by four bigots for being honest about who he is.

Well, I am being talked up as this school's next principal precisely

have never been honest about who I am with anyone, most of all myself.

In an effort to be somewhat less lash, I've decided to report the four young

boys who did this to the police and the school authorities.

Yesterday you asked me the French for a word, Monsieur Allen. Did you look it

up?

No, sir.

The word was, I believe, homosexual.

Well, let me put it in a good French sentence.

Je suis homosexuel.

Moi, Monsieur Gilles Robert, je suis homosexuel.

Does anybody have a problem with that?

Anybody at all?

Get on with the business of learning the glorious French language.

We might even think about getting on with our lives.

Well, I guess that's what they mean by cutting off your nose to spite your

You're still the best swimmer in the state.

Nobody will know it now.

I'll know.

You'll know.

Toby?

Oh, um...

Sorry. I'll call you.

Am I interrupting something?

No. No, really, it's fine.

He needs to talk to you.

Oh, my God.

Oh, boy.

Are you okay?

I'll be in class tomorrow.

I haven't killed myself yet.

I hope that's a joke. If it is, it's a bad one.

Why? Save everyone else the trouble.

Don't worry.

I wouldn't give him the satisfaction.

It doesn't have to be this way, you know.

How would you know? Because I've been there, that's why.

Oh, really?

He could have fooled me.

You're not a very good role model, Monsieur Robert.

I know, I know.

I should have told you first. I'll let you down.

I let myself down.

Can you forgive me?

I thought you wanted to be made principal.

I do, but not at this price.

You know, they're not going to let you teach.

I'm okay with that, really.

You don't want my pity, I don't want yours.

You say it doesn't have to be this way.

So how's it going to be, Monsieur Robert?

Well, what do you want to know?

Do people ever stop hating you?

I don't think some of them can.

Why? It's a good question. I don't know.

So what do you do?

Well, up until now, nothing.

Today was a baby step.

And tomorrow?

Another baby step.

I feel like taking 50 giant steps.

I believe you will.

What's it feel like to make love to another man?

It's wonderful.

See, that's what I want to learn.

Well, you have to find the right person first.

Have you?

Yes, yes, I have.

His name is Gus, and I love him. We have six years together, and

when he holds me, I feel safe and

at home.

You think I'll ever find anyone like that?

Well, everybody asks those questions, Toby.

Even straight people. We spend our whole lives trying to answer them.

Thank you.

Best part about being a teacher is how much you're taught.

Well, maybe I'll teach, Monsieur Robert.

Now, from now on, it's pronounced Roberts.

I don't know who I thought I was kidding.

Need some help with that?

Thanks.

Don't let it touch the ground.

Thought you were out to Harvard.

Ah, two more weeks.

You gonna set Cambridge Mass on fire?

Well, I'll just be happy if I can find a boyfriend.

You know, Toby, I like you.

I always have, but that kind of talk's gonna take some getting used to.

I know.

I ever tell you some crank called my wife and told her he'd seen us together?

Sorry.

Small town, smaller minds.

You think he's gonna get his job back?

He's sure gonna fight.

Got the best lawyer in the state.

Times, they are a -changin'. Yeah.

Even in Homer, Connecticut.

Well, Toby, you take care of yourself.

Change never comes easy.

But still, it always comes, one way or another.

Who would have guessed that Mr. Roberts and his friend Gus would stay together,

right there in Homer, for the rest of their lives? A loving, happily unmarried

couple. He got his job back, but never was made principal.

And Toby, after he graduated from Harvard with honors and a degree in

studies, took a position with the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York

He doesn't come home much.

I can't say I blame him.

Homer grew bigger, and I grew older.

And change comes for better and for worse.

I've heard good people say that we learn prejudice, that bigotry wouldn't exist

if it weren't taught us.

Do you think that's true?

I believe hating is something we were given to overcome.

We just don't seem willing to admit that about ourselves.

We seem to always concentrate on our uncommon ground.

More puzzling, it's often our commonality that we choose as the

Two men can love God equally, but if they worship differently, they are

Now, if devotion to a higher power turns neighbors into strangers, how can

loving each other be any less trouble?

The sun rose after all.

Who would have believed it?

People fuss, world turns.

Who would have believed it?

Think that corsage might be a little showy for a Sunday?

Oh, have I got a funny father.

I'm on the rainbow balloon committee. Red was my assignment.

Oh. Lisa's bringing the yellow. Maggie gets the blue.

Stacy pulled violet, though. I think the fix was in on that one.

Who's bringing the black ones?

Black balloons for a wedding. Nice dad.

You don't ask, you don't learn.

I know they'll have enough food there to feed a small army, but you should still

have a piece of fruit and some cereal to hold you through the ceremony.

I should live so long.

I know you'd go for a bluish red instead of a yellow red.

Never send a woman to do a queen's job.

A theory proved daily by Martha Stewart.

The place looks great.

Well, what on earth can't be fixed with glitter feathers and a string of lights?

Oh, look, it's the cake.

Oh, I want to see, I want to see.

Oh, um, since they've been fucking for 20 years, don't you think that white is

little naive, even in a small town?

Well, so the politically correct lesbian cater to the embarrassingly

stereotypical, but I suppose necessary, fag florist. Can we discuss this after

we put the cake down?

You know, for a kick like that, I'd marry Frankie tomorrow.

You already married him. Yeah, if only I knew then what I know now.

They're actually going through with it.

Assholes. Only two of them.

Yeah, for now. The rest are probably just late.

You know, straight people are always late.

You know, SPT.

Straight people time.

Maybe they'll forget.

You ever notice how straight men see everything as a war?

I mean, football, hockey, driving, politics, sex. It's all the same to

They choose up sides and they attack.

And they like it even better if they get to wear a little uniform.

Well, my dad's word's going to be a silent, non -intrusive, respectful

A silent, non -intrusive, respectful protest of a wedding?

Just a bunch of kids playing G .I. Joe.

What about you know who you hear anything?

You mean Ira, father of the bride?

He wouldn't. He couldn't.

He would, he could, he just might.

Where's a nice cyclone or twister when you need one?

This is New England, darling.

only thing that blows hard here are nor 'easters and elected officials, which

may explain our love of politics.

It's my wedding and I'll sleep if I want to.

I'm gonna be happy until he gives me a stroke.

Okay, hold on.

Here, your father's gone AWOL.

AWOL or MIA.

Amos?

Amos?

I can't. Are you still there? I'm so sorry.

Hello, Andy.

Yes, Claire.

Hello. I'm really worried about him.

What are you doing clowning around here in that getup? Ain't you got a wedding

to go to?

Beatrice Rosen, keep your nose out of what it don't belong in.

I'm only talking.

So talk to yourself.

I do.

And whoever listens does so at his own risk.

To miss your child's wedding is something not easily forgotten or

anyone ever. Trust me.

Rodney and I are going over just as soon as we're done with the breakfast rush.

We're going to dance.

Enjoy yourself.

Keep your money.

Ira, go home and change.

Where's your boy?

He's a good boy. They're both good boys.

Beatrice, what did I tell you?

If you didn't listen, you wouldn't hear so much.

Hi, Ira.

Father!

Ah!

Good morning.

Morning.

Running a little late, aren't you, Father?

Oh, I'm ministering last rites for Mrs. Brandt at the home. Oh, that's too bad.

Nice lady.

Aren't you fellows headed in the wrong direction for morning services?

You gotta do what you gotta do.

You'll be having your say from the pulpit, and we'll be having ours from

street. You are gonna say something about this mess, aren't you?

You think I should?

Well, last I heard, the church had plenty to say about homosexuals.

So, you gonna let them have it?

I tell you, gentlemen, there's an interesting question raised with all of

We condemn the homosexual for a lifestyle that rejects God's holy union

marriage, yes?

Correct. But then, when he seeks to join the fold, we condemn him for that as

well. Seems to me to be a no -win situation.

But that's what the church says, doesn't it?

And God?

Same thing.

You sure?

Sure.

If only I was so sure.

Hey, fellas.

What's in the bag?

Field rations.

Oh, public drinking.

Why don't you go put it back in the trunk? I got my van right across the

Let's say we take a short at ease. You got it, Tommy. Let's do it. Let's go.

Catering's what you ask for, catering's what you get. I'm impressed.

Just doing what lesbians do best.

Cooking? Hauling heavy shit in a van. Here, give us a hand.

Oh!

How'd you find me?

I wasn't looking.

What are you doing here?

Trying to have my coffee without answering questions.

You don't have a rifle in that thing or anything, do you?

What's your home?

Why aren't you down there with your friends?

I got time.

So that's how they prepare that dish.

I always wondered.

Doesn't matter.

It's off anyway.

I mean, that is what you want, isn't it?

Cancel the fucking thing? Watch your mouth. After all, I'm your father.

I'm a little old for that now.

You think so?

I'll let you know that my father... No, my father was already dead by the time I

was your age.

But my mother... Did you know that she's coming? Your grandmother?

Maybe it's supposed to be a surprise.

Did you know your Aunt Joan was bringing her?

No.

Surprise!

What the hell am I supposed to know?

Nobody's talked to me in weeks.

You're a pain in the ass, you know that?

Remember last summer when Andy and I fished that lake in Vermont?

And I told you that I'd never be able to find it again?

Well, I think I'm gonna go prove myself right.

Does anyone else know?

You're just not going to show up?

Isn't that what you want?

You want to stop saying that?

What is it that you think you're doing down there?

We're making a statement.

You could have had your thing at home.

You could have done it at your house. I begged you to do it at our house.

Nobody would have cared.

Neither was big enough for the party.

A homosexual wedding is not a party. I think that depends upon the band you

hire.

Amos, call your mother.

And somebody better have been out buying somebody else a fabulous gift.

Black dick.

Can't argue with practicality. You're alive, too. I thought you were Amos.

Oh, you can play it that way if you want, but... Frankly, I don't think

of our spouses will fall for it.

What is that mood for?

And better yet, what is that vial for?

Don't make me beg.

I thought we finished this month on Friday.

This whole homeo -homo -rhythm -method thing is not an exact science.

I was on my way to CVS to pick up the EPTs, and I thought, wouldn't it be

if the baby was conceived on your special day?

Hmm. Well, same as his turn. And he is... Don't know.

I left my girlfriend at home on a warm mattress with a turkey baster.

He's gone, you're here.

Teach that one -eyed weasel who's by.

Is that what you're like in bed?

You ever look at that war memorial down there?

It's got the names of every hometown kid from the Revolutionary War to Vietnam.

A lot of people consider this to be sacred ground.

No one's throwing an orgy.

This is a wedding.

It's a judgment call. That's all I'm saying it is.

Why else have a town committee to decide these things? The committee decided,

yes. Without consulting veterans groups.

It's a question of respect.

Who's being disrespectful?

If you're going to ask questions that you know all the answers to, neither one

of us are going to learn anything.

Well, if each of us thinks he knows the answer, then one of us should have the

guts to say it.

Because you're homosexual!

Happy?

I've got no problem saying it.

This government has no problem saying it.

Why else do you think the army has that... Don't say nothing.

I don't want to know policy.

Dad, I think that's Mom's policy on skydiving and recreational drugs.

The government has don't ask, don't tell, don't pursue.

Don't pursue? What the hell does that mean?

Are you going to go down there and stand with them?

We had a meeting.

We discussed it.

We took a vote.

They're my friends.

I'm your son.

I've known them longer.

I think we should at least report a missing person.

Ah, but which one?

I know where my husband is.

Amos will be there, Claire.

I don't know why he left. I don't know where he is. I don't know what he's

thinking. But I do know Amos.

He'll be there.

Did you bring me a scone? I meant to tell you.

Well, how about better than that?

Oh, I know that face.

Someone's got a Jones on. Forget it. We have a wedding.

I have seven cream.

Honey.

Black currant jam.

Oh, yeah.

A little something extra that makes all this a noble effort.

Why didn't you just say it's for the boys?

Oh, yeah.

It's for the boys.

Well, better late than infertile.

Ah, reinforcements.

Who is that? Can you see?

It's the Catholic Church.

It's not the church. It's just the people.

I'm sorry, Mr. Goldman, but O .J. didn't kill your son.

It was the loss of blood.

The Bible says what the Bible says. It's right there in black and white. You

can't argue with that.

Sure I can.

You want the lecture? Fine.

Leviticus, it says that it is an abomination for one man to lie with

if with a woman.

Yes, it says that in black and white.

Finally, some sense.

But it also says just two pages back that it's an abomination to eat shrimp.

It's also an abomination to eat lobster. It's the same.

Damnable abomination to eat pork. So, yes, Dad, according to your Bible, the

road to hell is paved with bacon. So I'll make you a deal. You take the

out of your mouth, and I'll take the sausage out of mine.

Don't be so fresh.

You know, sometimes I think that when I die, people will stand over my open

grave and argue if I ever had the right to live.

Yours is a lifestyle that not everyone understands.

Moving to a golf condo in Boca Raton is a lifestyle.

Being gay is a life.

Does a dog live the lifestyle of a dog?

Or a dog's life?

Enough lecturing already. Class dismissed.

I mean, you try to make a simple comment and...

I don't want you to be a homosexual.

I'm sorry, Dad.

You don't get a vote.

Not what I wanted for my only son.

Sue me.

But I don't think I've been so terrible about it either.

You, on the other hand, could have done so much better.

Sending us to New York City with tickets to the play where the homosexual broke

the news to his mother.

Hey, what were you thinking?

Huh?

Your poor mother cried all the way home.

You know, Andy and I had been living together for five years when we gave you

those tickets.

You would have had to have been blind. You were roommates. That's what you told

us. That's what I told people.

So, I was blind.

When I was in the army, in my platoon,

For a while, there was a queer.

That's what we called him back then.

I wasn't friendly with him or anything.

Nobody was.

But some of the guys you'd hear now and again would let him do

things.

On Monday, they'd let him do things. Then on Tuesday, they'd beat the living

snot out of him.

That's the way it was.

That's what I thought a queer was.

I didn't hate him.

I didn't pity him.

I didn't care.

And after we came back, I went through the list of the injured,

missing, the dead, and I saw this guy's name,

killed in action.

And I thought,

Good for him.

He's better off.

Do you suppose that somewhere out there there's a war memorial with his name on

it?

Do you suppose they'd let us have the wedding there?

We're going to have to take the back road to avoid Main Street.

I hear it's a circus in town.

And here come the clowns.

Son, I'm forgiven.

Whoever hired these bartenders has my eternal gratitude.

Before this evening is over, I want to die with that one on my face.

Why can't you just say he's cute?

Why is everything going to be such a drama with you?

Wherever there are boys who do not appreciate their youth, and men who do,

will be drama.

Do you think anyone is going to have the nerve to come in?

I'll go get them.

Beautiful, Andy.

If Amos doesn't show up, I'll marry you myself.

Well, now there's one we've never seen on Jerry Springs.

You should be proud of yourself.

You never would have had the balls to carry it this far without your approval.

I told you I hadn't planned it this way, I'd be lying.

But I expected to enjoy it more.

Are you really that mad at me?

Let's go. There's enough fooling around.

Down your cow, Batman. I'm not going anywhere.

What are you talking about? Let's go.

Dad, move down.

You do what you have to do.

I gotta go.

But I think I forgave you.

I'll see you later, Dad.

Talk to you in a few weeks.

You're not...

gonna let a few guys scare you off, are you? Come on.

They're not gonna touch you.

You think I'm scared of them?

Then where are you going?

I can't do it.

What, the wedding? Yes, the wedding. I can't get married. It's just, it's not

for me. I'm sorry.

You're kidding me, right?

Right.

You are scared.

Of what, of them? Oh, forget them.

Marriage. You're scared of marriage? What?

Oh, this is so cute.

You've got the wedding day jitters. Cut it out.

Oh, this is so cute.

Would you stop saying that? It's all right.

Everyone has wedding day jitters.

I don't have the jitters. Well, all of a sudden, are you running away from home?

I have been thinking about this for a long time now.

Then why don't you tell anyone?

I wasn't sure yet. Well, what are you telling me?

Are you through with Andy?

No, I'm not through with Andy. Uh -huh. So you're through with the town?

I'm through.

I'm through with you. That's what I'm through with. I'm through with you.

This is wonderful.

This is one of those father -son things I was sure I'd missed out on.

Would you please leave me alone?

Listen, it's normal.

Perfectly normal. I had them too.

You should have seen me. Worse than you.

You got bigger balls than me.

Yeah, I just laid on the bed and shook until they came and dragged me off to

altar. Some of those same guys that you see waiting down there now.

Oh, son, look at you. You're normal.

Dad, I worked my whole life to prove that I'm as good as anybody else.

And what's happened?

I've turned out just like everybody else. I mean, I'm a gay man in a

heterosexual world, and that hardly seems to matter anymore.

You've lost me now.

I've been in a monogamous relationship longer than 83 % of American marriages.

Our house has paid off.

I own my own business. We have two cars, a pickup truck. Andy's on his second

career. We've been to Disneyland twice, Disney World three times. We went to

Euro Disney for our 15th anniversary.

Think about this.

Congress passes a law against gays getting married. We are having our

ceremony at a community center.

It's owned by a town committee with the blessings of the town fathers.

With protesters.

Give yourself a little credit.

Dad, this is a town of 27 ,000 people. If that is all the outrage they could

muster, it's embarrassing.

You know, I come from a labor family.

I'm not all that comfortable on this side of a picket line.

I mean, I'm supposed to be a gay man.

You know what that means. You read, I'm supposed to be having all this wild,

promiscuous sex with thousands of partners.

You know how many men I slept with? Oh, jeez, son. Three, and two of those were

before I was 20. I mean, where are my thousands? Where are my discos and my

parties, my sad and pathetic and lonely life?

And what's going to happen when we have the baby?

Carpooling, soccer money, and PTA meetings.

You've got my attention now.

Yeah.

As if we aren't heterosexual -esque enough.

A friend of ours volunteered to surrogate a baby.

We're gonna be parents.

Well, you can hold your head high on that one, Amos. That's not normal.

It's not just the specifics. It's the whole damn thing, Dad. I feel like my

is rushing by.

Completely out of control.

Oh, now you're back in familiar territory.

It's also overwhelming.

Listen.

I know what you're feeling.

I remember just like it was yesterday.

We can skip the male bonding thing.

I think I'm going to be sick.

Now I wish we had an orchestra.

Oh, and a straight -fusing musical moment?

There's no long time for a show tune.

Okay, you stay here. I'll go in.

You think I'm frightened of a couple of dried -up old men?

Okay, we'll open the doors on the count of three.

Ready?

One, two... May I be of service?

Hey, you...

How long have you been here? It's a long story, ma 'am.

What's going on here?

Yes,

sir.

Excuse me, ma 'am.

You look very...

handsome, dear.

That's why I planned all this, so I could wear it.

I see.

Every dream, every wish, every want, every need that I've ever had is

in your eyes, your heart, your hands.

I am proud to stand before our family and friends to say, I love you.

Wow.

I love you.

What the hell are we doing here?

I mean, big picture here, not here, here. Yeah, yeah.

I know that we didn't get here alone.

We owe our lives to the generations of gays and lesbians that struggled before

us.

Some of whom gave up their freedom.

Others who gave up their very lives.

I also know that it's up to us to do our very

best to carry the next generation to where they need to be.

Is this it?

Is this equality?

I don't know.

I guess we have to trust that if what we've

built here together can inspire this gathering,

then

we can't be too far off the mark.

I love you, Andy.

And I am... nothing.

If not yours.

I want to know who knocked up Moogoo.

Bingo, boys.

You're kidding!

I knew you had it in you.

But it's a good pig.

I love you, Andy.

Love you.

Amos, you are wonderful.

We take care of you.

Have a great time.

So, okay. The bottom line seems to be our choice.

We can embrace our differences and each stand alone.

Or we can accept the overwhelming evidence that none of us is so very

stand together on common ground.