Original subtitles

[beeping]

[theme music]

[explosion]

[beeping]

[explosion]

Slow much?

[gasp]

Seriously, dude, you put the "tard" in "tardy."

OK, girls, the quicker we do this, the quicker we go home.

[whimpering]

Going somewhere?

[ding] [gasp]

Uh, you know?

Sorry, this car's full.

[gasp]

[explosion]

[gasp]

I mean, give it up already.

By the way, didn't anyone tell you

that brown is the new black?

I'll never give up!

[tires screeching]

OK, time's up.

You've had your fun.

Now it's time to come with us.

Could these missions get any easier?

[spit] - Yeck!

Eww!

Why does the OJ taste like sweaty gym socks?

[spit] - Eww!

Nast!

What's up with my toothpaste?

[grumble]

What happened to the juice?

I need my OJ in the morning.

Hey, don't look at me.

Someone broke in and switched my mint toothpaste

with this gross orange goo.

[crunch] - No one broke in.

I replaced everything in the house with carrot-based items.

BOTH: Come again?

I'm on the new rabbit diet.

Rabbit diet?

Does this mean you're gonna eat nothing but carrots?

Uh, correction-- she's gonna make

us eat nothing but carrots.

It's all the rage north of Sunset.

Did you know one carrot gives you enough energy

to walk a whole mile?

Trust me, girls.

Carrots are the in-veggie.

Everyone who's anyone's eating them.

Forget it, Alex.

Unless it's diamonds, I don't do carrots.

But carrots are amazing.

They improve your sight, increase your jumping ability,

they even cure dandruff.

OK, let me be the first to say, eww.

Carrots are fine, Al, but a total carrot

regimen is taking things a little too far,

don't you think?

[blowing]

[squeal]

Check it out.

I'm not even cold.

[squeal]

Did I mention that carrots contain a natural antifreeze?

Yes, Mother, I'll pick you up at the airport.

No, Mother, bring your own pillow cases isn't necessary.

Yes, Mother, I'm certain I can pick you up.

No, Mother, it's no bother.

Goodbye, Mother.

Rude, much.

I mean, hello?

F-- freezing here.

Sorry, girls.

With my mother coming to visit next week,

everything's been rather topsy turvy around here,

including the air conditioning system.

[shivering]

Didn't bother me.

Phew.

Much better.

So what's the 411 on the early AM 911?

I called you here because I have some fantastic news.

You've all been promoted.

Promoted?

Why?

What's the catch?

No catch.

You three shall officially leave your junior spy days behind

and join the ranks of WOOHP's most elite secret agents,

which means more danger, more responsibility,

and more missions.

Isn't that exciting?

Ugh, exactly what part of "more danger, more

responsibility, and more missions"

are we supposed to be psyched about?

I understand your concern, but I assure you this

is a wonderful opportunity.

Very few agents ever get to this level.

I think Jer's right.

It does sound exciting.

No.

It sounds like we'll be sweating.

A lot.

But thanks to my new rabbit diet,

I'm in peak physical condition.

Um--

Ugh, don't get her started, Jer.

Trust me.

Did you know carrots are jam-packed with vitamin

A and beta carotene goodness?

Guess I must have skipped that chapter in my rabbit diet book.

[beep]

Oh!

Half a carrot.

Your carrotonic levels are dangerously low, Jer.

There, that should help.

I think it's time for you to go.

Good luck.

[scream]

[splash]

Whoa.

Love the Greek chic.

Oh, it's like being on a reality show,

only it's not fake.

[gasp]

An infinity pool.

A hot tub.

Oh, I could definitely get used to this.

Good morning, ladies.

My name is Terrance.

I'll be your host during your stay.

Nice to meet you, Terrance.

May I escort you to your private rooms?

Finally, I'm getting the perks I so richly deserve.

Just hope I bought enough carrots.

[gasping]

- Wow. - Pick a door, any door.

Each leads to your own private suite of rooms.

Wait, there are four rooms, but only three of us.

Hey.

Girls, I'd like to introduce you to your fellow agent Dean.

[swoon]

He'll be joining you in your training sessions.

Allow me, Ter.

My name is Clover, but you can call me smitten.

[giggle]

Ladies.

Oh, this place is too good to be true.

Ah, who knew we'd be mixing business with pleasure.

It's about to get better.

[gasp]

Oh.

[cheering]

We've been invited to dinner?

Not just dinner, a black tie gala.

Wait.

I can't go.

I don't have anything formal to wear.

[clears throat]

[gasp]

Awesome!

Help yourself to whatever you need.

Extension 3 is for the tailor.

[squeal]

That settles it.

I am never leaving.

Be downstairs at 8:00 PM sharp.

And don't be late.

Your instructors will be waiting.

We'll be there, with couture on.

Personally, I can't wait to start our super spy training.

I don't understand.

I thought we were here to meet our instructors.

You are.

Please, have a seat.

What's with the trays?

I bet it's some delicious gourmet meal

with a name I can't pronounce.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's open them and find out.

[gasp] Ooh.

You're giving us jewelry?

Is it me, or does this night just

keep getting better and better?

Spies, meet your instructions.

Huh?

Go on, open them.

Oh.

Welcome.

Hello.

Greetings.

Pleasure to meet you.

Throughout your training, they will

be your guides and mentors.

Your lockets summon them when needed.

Oh, I get it.

The lockets project who we really are inside.

I think you're spot on, Clover.

Hey!

What's that supposed to mean?

[clears throat]

Now that you've met your instructors,

training will begin immediately.

But what about the gourmet dinner I can't pronounce

and my designer outfit?

Center yourself.

Forget your hunger.

Right now, you've got work to do.

[scream]

[thud]

This is the top secret WOOHP training facility?

I was expecting something a little more--

[whirring]

High tech.

Cool.

Welcome to training.

You four are here because you're the chosen ones.

Chosen ones?

[laughing]

Sorry.

We thought you were kidding.

This is no joke, and you becoming spies was no accident.

Whoa.

Is that really me?

We've been watching you since birth.

[squeal]

[giggle]

Oh, Sammy, you're so cute.

Your affinity for gadgets and ability to problem solve

were apparent from a very early age.

Oh.

[panting]

[giggling]

Even back then, I was boy-crazy.

More importantly, your spying abilities

and observational skills were light years ahead of your time.

Speaking of observation skills,

how did WOOHP spy on me?

Oh, camotastic.

Talk about being light years ahead of your time, style-wise.

Hey.

Woo hoo!

[cheering]

Nice run, boy.

You're as quick as a jackrabbit.

I can't believe I was rabbitesque even back then.

Your athletic prowess and ability to disguise yourself

didn't go unnoticed.

What about Dean?

Dean was the most advanced of all.

He was chosen the day he was born.

[babbling]

[grunting]

Huh?

Dean's intelligence and natural fighting

skills were clearly exemplary.

A martial arts hottie even as a baby?

I think I'm in love.

Move over. I saw him first.

No, you didn't.

We all saw him at the same time.

Ladies, please.

There's enough Dean to go around.

[whistle]

Yes, ladies, please.

It's time to focus.

Run Super Spy Sim 1.

Let the virtual training begin.

[gasp]

This is like my worst third grade

gymnastics nightmare come true.

Don't worry, Clover.

We're the chosen ones.

Everything's gonna be fine.

Your first mission--

make it across the ravine without falling.

Duh, thanks.

I think we got that.

So who wants to go first?

With rabbit power on my side, I should be

able to hop across, no probs.

As soon as you say "no probs," there's always probs.

I'm really getting the hang of this.

Piece of cake.

The secret is not to--

[gasp] --look down.

Oh!

Whoa!

Gotcha.

[grunting]

How are we supposed to make it across?

Super spy rule number one--

evaluate your fear factor and manipulate it.

Wait, I've got it.

You've got what?

This is a mind over matter exercise.

All we have to do is close our eyes

and imagine that the ravine isn't so steep.

Hm?

Way to control your mind, super spies.

Where are we?

And why are we wearing blindfolds?

Maybe it's something fun, like a game of pin the tail

on the donkey or a pinata.

Doubt it.

In fact, I have a sinking suspicion that whatever it is,

it's not good.

What are we supposed to do here?

You know, other than get our butts kicked.

Super spy rule number two--

you must have faith in your intuition.

My intuition is saying--

Hiya!

Duck!

Whoa!

Hey, that's it.

We don't need sight, just our spy instincts.

Good thinking, Alex.

[grunt]

[whack]

[shout]

Talk about an unfair sight advantage.

If I wasn't wearing this stupid blindfold,

I'd be unstoppable with my new rabbit vision.

Clover, on your right.

[thud]

Ah!

A little too close for comfort.

Nice job.

[gasping]

Your final mission--

get across the river to the other side.

If you had all gone on the rabbit diet with me,

we could've just jumped across.

You must use the boat provided,

plus, there are a few catches.

Ugh, naturally.

One, Dean must always be in the boat.

Two, there's only room for Dean and one other spy in the boat.

Three, Clover and Alex can't be left alone together.

Four, Sam and Alex can't be left alone together.

Understand?

Yeah, I understand those are the most confusing

rules I've ever heard.

You've got three minutes.

OK, what if I take Clover across, then

return for Alex, then take Sam?

But Alex and I will be alone together

while you take Clover across.

And I'll be alone with Clover while you go back for Sam.

I've got it.

First, Dean will take Alex across.

Then he'll go back and pick me up.

He'll leave me on the other side,

but take Alex back with him.

Then he'll leave Alex there while taking Sam across.

Finally, he'll return for Alex.

It's a simple teamwork exercise.

Clover, that was amazing.

All those years spent figuring out

how to pay for designer clothes on layaway

were bound to pay off eventually.

Come on, spies, let's do it.

Oh.

[panting]

You've reached the end of your training day.

Congratulations.

[yawn]

I can't remember the last time I was this tired, or this sore.

Guess it comes with being the chosen ones.

Well, this chosen one had better get some room

service on the double.

I hear the carrot cake's delic--

[rumbling]

[shouting]

What now?

Earthquake.

Head for cover.

[crashing]

Terrance, are you there?

Speaking as an LA native, this is the longest

earthquake I've ever felt.

We'd better check it out.

What could be making the house shake like this?

[rumbling stops]

Oh, that's better.

At least now, I can think.

[crash]

[scream]

I don't think I like the sound of that.

[cracking]

[gasp]

The walls are closing in on us.

Don't panic.

Maybe this is still part of our training.

The instructors aren't responding.

Let's try the doors and windows.

[slamming]

Everything's locked.

We're trapped.

Worse than that, we're about to be crushed.

Let's try wedging that curtain rod between the walls.

[grunting]

Oh!

You guys OK?

I never was any good at redecorating.

Let's do this.

On the count of 3--

1, 2, lift.

[creaking]

Phew.

That was close.

[gasp]

[snap]

[shout]

Remember, spies, evaluate your fear factor and manipulate it.

Look, a skylight.

Maybe we can use it to escape.

It's over 30 feet up.

I never thought the day would come when

I'd wish for Jerry's Turbo 9000 Garden

Hose Flash Expandable Ladder.

If we break that waterpipe, the room will flood,

and we can float up to the top.

Great thinking, Dean.

[grunt]

Get back.

Hiya!

[water gushing]

[coughing]

What's happening?

The water must have caused a short circuit.

Remember, let your spy intuition be your eyes.

[gurgling]

[splash]

[coughing]

That's the second time you saved my life, Dean.

You're the best.

Just doing my job.

Hello?

I practically invented damsel in distress.

Hello?

We're about to be spy pancakes here.

[grunt]

This will never work.

We need leverage.

Remember, we've got to use teamwork.

Let's put our heads together.

Better yet, let put our bodies together.

We can form a human chain under the water.

It may give us the leverage we need to open the skylight.

Almost there.

Just a little more.

Got it.

[panting]

That was some pretty amazing teamwork.

Speaking of team, where's Dean?

[gasp]

What if he's still down there?

Then we've gotta save him.

[scream]

[crash]

What's going on?

The ballroom's normal again.

I don't know, but this spy's not

gonna stick around to find out.

I second that.

Let's get outta here.

Lay Show Our only chance to find Dean

is to get outta here and call Jerry.

[sirens blaring]

We've been detected.

Run!

Terrance.

Is everything all right, girls?

No, everything is not all right.

Where have you been?

I retired early, but when I couldn't sleep,

I thought a nice walk would tucker me out.

[yawn] Looks like it worked.

You mean you didn't notice the earthquake

that rocked the entire mansion?

Earthquake?

Or the flooding ballroom where we almost drowned?

Flooding ballroom?

Oh, my.

Or Dean's bizarre disappearance into thin air--

or rather, water?

Ugh, how long was your walk?

It sounds like you girls have had quite a night.

But don't worry, I know where Dean is.

Would you like to see him?

[gasp]

ALL: Dean! TERRANCE: You see?

Dean is fine.

Help me.

At least he will be fine if you do as I say.

Oh!

Stop!

You're hurting him.

[chuckle]

You see, the closer you get to Dean,

the tighter the lucite's grip on him gets.

Ugh, hey, did all those years of fetching towels and room

service finally make you snap?

You have no idea what it's like always being second!

Nothing Terrance did was ever good enough.

Well, that's all gonna change starting now, mates.

Now, if you want to prevent your fellow chosen one

from getting crushed, I suggest you do as I say.

OK, what do you want?

I'm sorry I had to interrupt your training

and dispose of your instructors, but I have a mission for you.

You three will eliminate Jerry.

Ugh, ya, right, like we'd ever hurt Jerry.

Besides, what did Jer ever do to you anyway?

That's for me to know and you to find out.

After you eliminate him, you'll retrieve the microchip he keeps

hidden under the large birthmark on his neck

and return it to me.

I'll be watching your every move.

Try any funny business, and you'll never see

your good friend Dean again.

Don't worry, Dean.

We won't let you down.

There's a chopper waiting for you.

Say goodbye to Jerry for me.

[evil laughter]

[theme music]