Original subtitles

[electronic beeping]

[theme music]

[ambient techno music]

[electronic beeping]

Job well done, Brittany.

All in a day's work, Jerry.

[thunder crash]

Jerry, the autopilot's down.

I'm taking manual control.

Jerry, do you read?

Britney, I'm afraid I'm losing you.

Come in, Jerry.

[PLANE ENGINES GROWL TO SIGNAL RAPID DESCENT]

[monotonous but upbeat music]

ALEX: Hi-yah!

[doorbell rings]

[alex gasps]

[sam gasps]

CLOVER: Surprise!

Did ya' forget your keys?

And your sense of fashion?

No, and no.

I'm a Beautilicious Betty.

Isn't it fantastic?

A beau-ta- who-da what?

A door to door peddler of everything

that's right with the world.

[twinkling wind chimes]

[alex gasps]

SAM: Wow!

Hmm.

Didn't the news run a story about these shoddy products?

Okay, nothing was proven.

The overpriced tag speaks for itself.

Who can put a dollar amount on beauty?

Sam, is that a zit I see brewing?

You said you couldn't see it!

Alex, have you been scrubbing toilets again?

Toilets don't just clean themselves, you know!

Come on girls, just give 'em a try!

For me, your bestest friend?

Don't you want to look great for all the hunky guys at the WOOHP

company picnic this weekend?

Well, when you put it that way, I'll take the hand lotion.

I'll try the face cleanser with the soft scrub cloth.

Ooh!

It's like a million tiny fingers exfoliating.

Totally, my hands have never been so silky.

That'll be $69.47.

Man, for someone who can't put a price

on beauty you don't hold back.

[pressurized door opening]

[AIR MOVING THROUGH CAVERNOUS SPACE]

ALL: Ah!

Uh!

[jerry clears throat]

We have a crisis, girls.

The only crisis I see is that pasty complexion of yours, Jer.

Luckily, I have a mega bronzer I'd be happy to sell you.

Brittany's plane went down.

[gasp]

Britney?

She was flying over an island in the Atlantic,

when I received a red alert from her plane's computer.

Then, nothing.

But, she was the best recruit ever.

We taught her every spy trick we know.

I haven't heard a thing from her.

I'm afraid she may be injured.

Well, what are we waiting for?

Let's hit the search and rescue!

It's a bit more complicated than that.

There is nothing complicated about a friend

in trouble, Jerry.

Yeah, Britney's the best.

Even Alex couldn't stay jealous of her.

I wasn't jealous-- for long.

Only long enough to quit.

The island she was flying over is

a top secret holding facility for WOOHP's

most dangerous criminals. - We can handle it.

We'll just stay away from the holding facility.

No, I'm afraid that won't help.

Britney's plane took out the security system

when it went down.

So, the island's evil residents are running wild,

and Britney's on her own?

Indeed.

And because of that breach in security,

the island is now set to self-destruct.

You have exactly three hours and twelve minutes

to find her and get out of there.

Then upload the 4-1-1 on all the island's baddies

for us ASAP.

We're gonna need the advantage.

JERRY LEWIS: Yes.

G.L.A.D.I.S., if you would.

G.L.A.D.I.S: Dispensing gadgets.

JERRY LEWIS: G.L.A.D.I.S., the usual,

plus the M-Ray Contact Lenses, Laser Nail File,

and the Hologram Projecting Mood Ring.

Hang on, Brit.

We're coming.

Let's go!

[engines rev]

Clover, feed us the link on the island's major baddies.

Seems there's three to watch out for--

Gargantuan, The Surgeon, and Alienator.

Gargantuan or was taken in for trying to demolish the planet,

and escaped twice causing mondo damage

before it was caught again.

Big deal, giant robot-y thing-- we'll just

wipe out its mother board.

The Surgeon is being held because he set out to disfigure

the world one face at a time.

Okay, someone has issues.

Okay, ew.

What kind of monster is he?

Speaking of monsters, check this one out.

Alienator is here because, well, it's

a vicious alien creature from outer space

that only wants to devour us.

The thing is blind, so its other senses are heightened.

You can't breathe without being detected.

I can't breathe now.

This helmet is making me all kinds of flushed.

I was thinking it was the leather,

because my hands are way itchy.

That's funny, because I felt just fine.

In fact, I was thinking of wearing this outfit

to the company picnic.

[alert beeps]

Hey, shouldn't the island be here?

The island's top secret, which means it's probably cloaked.

Just Give me a sec to alter the program.

Gotcha!

Over there!

Cool.

Now, let's get mission save Britney

accomplished before this baby blows and ruins

a perfectly good hair day.

[electronic music]

[mysterious, suspenseful music]

Maybe the villains don't know the security system's down.

[TREES CRASH A SMALL DISTANCE AWAY]

Hmm.

[large footsteps approaching]

ALL: Ah!

Gargantuan!

Unfair advantage, here!

Run?

Time for a little jet pack action.

Whoa!

Alex!

Anyone know if the jet packs come with barf bags?

Hold on, Alex!

I'll save you!

[whimpering and scratching]

Hello!

In the middle of a battle here, not the time to lose focus.

It's not me, it's your blotch-a-rific skin cream!

It's attacking my face!

That's probably just poison ivy,

Beautilicious has an ointment for it, but first things first.

Right now, we have to short-circuit

Gargantuan's motherboard!

ALEX: Uh, whoa!

[alex gasps]

SAM: What is it?

No wonder WOOHP didn't just fry the hard drive, there

is none!

Gargantuan's insides are organic.

So, it's not a robot after all?

Nope!

Which means it's time for plan B. Follow my lead.

Ah!

You're supposed to be helping me, not making me sicker!

Trust me.

I saw this in an old monster movie

at a drive-in in the Valley. Worked like a charm.

Hey, good hand, Sammy!

Uh, wish I could say the same for you, Alex.

Ah!

I'm all hairy!

It must be from that bogus hand cream!

Not to worry, Alex.

Beautilicious makes a killer shaving cream.

Now, enough with the chitchat!

We've got two hours to find Britney and get

off this ticking time bomb.

ALEX: Let's do it.

[suspenseful music]

Whoa!

Britney's plane!

It's completely intact!

How can you crash without any damage?

Good question.

The controls seem fine.

And her computer's still functioning.

Brit's too good a spy to land safely and not check in.

Something's definitely up.

Let's see what the exterior cam has to report.

SAM: Brit didn't crash, she was forced down.

But why, and by who?

[all scream]

I just hate when low-techs get the better of us.

[ominous music]

[evil laughter]

THE SURGEON: Look at those cheekbones,

those eyes, that chin.

Well, I can't take all the credit.

I was born this way.

A little nip here, a little tuck there,

and your face will look just like mine!

Ew, as if!

Hey doc, you think you can do anything about my hands?

[excited grunting]

Oh, my, oh, those are very attractive.

Trying to escape?

Cute!

I'll operate on you, first.

If at first you don't succeed!

That's right, I know karate.

You may know Karate, but I'm a black belt in Pilates!

[suspenseful chime music]

[surprised grunt]

Let's see how you like it, pal!

[nauseated gag]

[muffled cries for help]

Britney!

Britney, you're okay!

Clover, Alex, Sam!

I can't believe you found me.

You're the best spies in the world.

CLOVER, ALEX, SAM: Aw.

Though, I got to admit, you two look a little

different than I remember.

Yeah, thanks to Clover's ugalicious products!

And I suppose your hairstyle is my fault, too?

You look a little different too, Brit.

Only, I can't quite tell what it is.

Oh, well.

There'll be plenty of time to catch

up once we escape WOOHP island.

You're right. Clock's ticking.

Let's get out of here.

[egyptian music]

Uh--

Where are you going, your plane's this way.

That's the first place they'll look for us.

We need to get to the beach where the WOOHP's versible is.

I released it when my plane started to go down.

Wow, even under capture you're on your toes.

See, I'm not jealous.

I learned from the best.

Only one problem--

how do we know which way the beach is?

Easy!

We follow the wind patterns.

[quiet, suspenseful music]

Uh, Sammy, you have some gunk on your face.

Ew!

Clover, what did you do to her?

Okay, that's it.

Whatever is going on with you two isn't the fault

of my Beautilicious products.

And I'll prove it!

Hey, don't worry, nothing's going to happen.

On second thought, maybe these products are shoddy.

It's not the products, it's her skin!

It's latex!

[maniacal laughter]

And she's not Britney, she's Willard!

That slo-mo freak of a villain!

I knew you

[alarmed squeal]

knew you goody-goody spies would help your goody-goody friend.

So, I created a device to pull her plane down intact,

so I could escape.

So, escape already.

We only care about Britney, where is she?

Rush, rush, rush.

I don't rush.

I hate rushing.

Have you learned nothing from our last encounter?

Listen, twisted mister.

We're the reason you're on this island.

So what makes you think you can outfight us this time?

SAM: Clover!

All right, all right!

We'll slow down.

See?

Talking nice and slow now.

[grunt]

I spent three weeks writing this speech.

The least you can do is listen patiently.

Now, where was I?

Oh, that's right.

Once I get rid of you pests, I'll lead my army of baddies

off this island and take over--

I don't know, maybe, the world?

[mock snoring]

That took three weeks?

Where's Britney?

[frustrated yell]

[ominous music]

You guys, you're the best.

But you didn't have to come here for me.

Like you wouldn't have done the same for us.

Don't worry. We'll get out of this mess.

There you go, rushing to conclusions.

Rush, rush, rush.

When will you learn?

[angry snarl]

Now?

Now's a good time to learn!

You bet it is.

Rush, and your demise is only that much closer.

Remember, it's blind.

All we have to do is chill and it won't know we're here.

Easy for you to say.

[hungry growls]

[furious scratching]

Run!

[screaming]

[suspenseful music]

[sounds of struggle]

Unh!

When in doubt, accessorize.

You are so like me!

We have to go shopping when this is over.

Shh!

He hears every move!

That's it!

Its hearing!

Ha!

[suspenseful music]

[sonic, high pitched whistling]

Good thinking, Britney!

Standard, requisite WOOHP ultrasonic dog and alien

whistle.

Uh-oh, I think it can hear the whistle.

What does that mean?

That's no whistle, that's my watch!

Phew, for a second I thought it was an alien.

We've only got four minutes before this island blows--

and us with it!

I don't suppose you have a map back to the plane, Brit?

I have something better--

a laser trail.

I triggered it when I was captured.

Wow, we really did train you well.

Totally!

We should talk to Jer about having

you team with us permanently.

That's sweet, Alex.

But Jer's already got me assigned to a team.

Girls, meet Dimitri and Javier.

They'll be at the company picnic.

I'll introduce you.

[ominous music]

[commanding grunts]

Two minutes, forty-nine seconds--

how far are we from the plane?

It's just beyond that clump of trees.

They'll get there before we do.

Not if use the Hologram Projecting Mood Ring!

I'll mask the real plane, and create a fake one

just a few feet away!

Great idea.

Willard will load his baddies into nothing.

Forget nothing-- into a trap.

And I have the perfect gadget to do just that.

Give me two seconds head start, then lure them to the plane.

One Mississippi, two Mississippi--

Hurry girls, the plane's this way!

Huh?

Quickly, before they take the plane!

For a guy who hates rushing, he moves pretty fast!

[panting]

You goody-goodies think you're so fast.

Get them!

[suspenseful techno music]

What is that, cologne?

Much as you could use some, this will have to do.

A little instant growth-- see, fast isn't always bad.

Good advice.

Britney!

[suspenseful techno music]

[gasp]

Hi-yah!

I taught her the whole drive, tuck, roll move.

[victorious music]

I forgot how fun it was to work with you guys.

And we look good doing it, too.

[smooth techno music]

A personal Skincare formula that WOOHP's been working on.

Now, that's the Sam and Alex I know.

What?

What?

Oh, all right.

I'll turn in my Beautilicious badge.

We knew you'd come around.

So, when can we get our money back?

Uh, who said anything about a money back guarantee?

But, you just of your products are lame and bogus.

All Beautilicious sales are final.

After all, how can I make a commission if I

give everyone back their money?

[unhappy squealing]

I admit, when I first met Britney I went into rival mode.

But she was, like, totally stepping on my turf!

You know, being all nice and talented and spy like.

I guess just because we have the same interests--

and the same levels of skill--

doesn't mean we have to be enemies, does it?

No, right?

Right!

Hey, wait a minute.

Maybe that's why we're such good friends now,

'cause we're so alike!

Plus, she's super hip.

I mean, even more hip than Clover.

CLOVER: I heard that!

Oopsie.