Original subtitles

[beeping]

[theme music]

GUARD: Happy holidays, Merry Christmas.

Happy holidays, Merry Christmas.

Hello, Clarence.

What?

No well wishes for me?

Ooh, I just love Christmas in LA.

The terrific mistletoe, the fake snow,

the mounds of expensive gifts.

Hey, this time of year is about giving, not receiving,

Clover.

Oh, I'm all about giving, Sammy.

Giving my Christmas list to my father.

What is it, a new flavor of fat-free fro-yo?

No, it's Yves Montblanc, the most fabulous footwear

on the planet.

MANDY: Delete that e-pic, loser.

My mom's buying me the last pair of the YMB boots.

Over my unmanicured French tips!

They're mine!

Mine!

Uh, Clover, you're going to risk breaking

a nail over a pair of boots?

I'll pay twice the price.

Quadruple!

I'll, I'll, I'll double anything she offers!

Mother!

Do something!

I already did, honey.

I just bought the entire nationwide chain of this store,

and all the YMB boots with it.

You did?

No way!

I did, yes way.

MANDY: You are so getting my vote

for mother of the year, Pheebs!

Merry Christmas.

Sorry it didn't work out, Clover.

Oh, I'm getting those boots if I

have to force Yves Montblanc himself to make

me a pair on Christmas day.

That's the Christmas spirit.

JERRY (ON DEVICE): Speaking of Christmas,

you're cordially invited to attend

WOOHP's holiday bash tonight.

Thanks but no thanks, Jer.

We still got major last-minute shoppage to do.

Sorry, girls, this gathering is mandatory.

In fact, I need you here right away

for a little pre-party mission.

On Christmas Eve?

But Jerry--

I'm not even dressed for a party.

ALL: Whoa!

Now we know what poor Santa has to go through!

Jerry, what mission could possibly take precedence over

last-minute Christmas shopping?

Preparing my office for tonight's festivities.

That's it, I am returning your gift

just as soon as I buy you one.

I don't mind.

After all, this time of year is about giving, not receiving.

And speaking of giving, Gladys, give the girls their supplies.

GLADYS: Pail, mop, duster, broom, ammonia.

Jer, I don't have time for this.

I have extremely expensive boots to find.

Well don't be silly, Clover.

Your boots will only get ruined with all the cleaning

you're about to do.

I don't know what's worse, this lame party

or these lame outfits.

Tell me about it.

Like didn't anyone tell Jerry that fuchsia

is this year's red?

And hello, didn't anyone tell him

a party's supposed to be fun?

And so, Crawford, a former WOOHP agent turned evil elf,

hired a sleigh of reindeer.

Or so he thought.

This is a nightmare.

I'm going to be stuck at this party for the rest of my life.

I'm never going to find these boots.

Is there something I can help you with, Clover?

Can you find a pair of Yves Montblanc boots for me?

Affirmative.

Yves Montblanc available at--

Oopsie.

Oh, my.

Well that can't be good.

Understatement of the year.

She was just about to reveal only the most

important information ever.

Gee, suddenly I don't feel so silly in this outfit.

Alex, please mop up the spilled punch.

Negative, Jerry.

You are no longer in charge.

I am indeed in charge.

[screaming]

OK, that's right out of a horror movie.

You cannot override the security system, Jerry.

Only I control it.

She's right.

I better contact Agent Mathers.

He's skiing in Aspen.

Hey, I thought this borefest was mandatory!

Now is not the time to nitpick.

Oh, my, Gladys is blocking my outgoing message.

I have no choice but to disconnect her.

Whoa!

GLADYS: Better re-think your plan, Jerry.

Sam, laser launcher, top drawer!

Take her down the old-fashioned way.

Where's her hard drive, Jerry?

No one can stop me!

[screaming]

Everyone to the panic room.

Now!

[screaming]

Not without you, Jerry!

Let go, you cyber manic nut!

Hey!

Let's go!

Random!

I mean, who knew Gladys would be the life of the party?

Well, I wish she'd stop.

Something tells me she's just getting started

GLADYS: Jerry.

Why are you running, Jerry?

Creepy!

She can see us!

GLADYS: There is no escape.

CLOVER: I think she's taking this life of the party

thing a little too seriously. Oh!

Ah!

Ah!

I must admit, the extent of her malfunction is fascinating.

Gone are the days when she just controlled my office.

Now, she controls the entire building.

Can we admire your whacko machine later?

Like when we're safe? - Hmm.

This closet is lined with titanium.

It should slow down her ability to find us.

CLOVER: OK, so you spilled punch on Gladys,

why is she suddenly so evil?

I didn't get that crazy when you dropped jelly on my cashmere.

She's probably sick of living in Jerry's shadow.

You know, never getting any of the limelight.

Hello, she's a computer.

She doesn't care about things like that.

I'm afraid it's my fault that Gladys is evil.

I downloaded her brain from The Brain, the world's

most brilliant villain.

She has a villain's brain?

A villain who set out to destroy

the world by misleading nations into launching

missiles at one another.

I thought I deleted all the evil synapses.

Well he must have a weakness.

Everyone does.

Shopping.

All we have to do is find out what it is,

and that's our key to stopping Gladys.

Luckily, he happens to be in the building's

holding facility.

I say it's time we visit The Brain.

Uh, is everyone forgetting we're

hiding in a titanium closet cause a freako robot just

tried to annihilate us?

Not at all, which is why there's

no time like the present for a little present.

Ooh!

Me first, me first!

Oh.

Uh.

Hmm.

OK, you realize we're not eight.

It's the bubble blaster invisibility shield.

We simply ensconce ourselves, and move

as quietly as possible.

SAM: Alex, no!

Oopsie.

Oopsie.

SAM: Run!

Why are you running?

Your odds of escaping are infinitesimally minute.

GLADYS: Your moves are like an amateur chess player, Jerry.

I thought I trained you better.

Who trained whom, Gladys?

Check.

Time for gift number two.

A boring amethyst charm.

This isn't boring at all, Jer.

In fact, it's beautiful.

By boring, I mean drilling.

We can't just bore our way back into the corridor.

Gladys will only attack again.

What's behind the elevator?

The ventilation system, and it's made of titanium.

[crash]

If that wasn't your stomach, Jer,

I think we better step on it.

Gladys will never think to look

for us inside The Brain's cell.

How delightful.

I haven't had so many visitors since last Christmas.

Unfortunately, I haven't had a chance to get gifts for anyone.

Gee, you seem nice.

What's up with the whole starting a world war thing?

I only wanted everyone to disarm

in an effort for world peace.

No one complied.

So a world war was the second choice?

Ironical, much?

Yes, but you see, I had this condition.

I'm a little crazy.

You must be you didn't even touch your holiday meal.

BRAIN: Oh, it's covered in cranberry sauce, to which

I'm dreadfully allergic.

It makes me even crazier than usual.

Cranberry!

That's the kind of juice I spilled on Gladys!

SAM: She must have the same allergy.

I bet it triggered the evil part of her brain.

GLADYS: That means two more missiles

have just been launched.

Checkmate, Jerry, wherever you are.

She's trying to start a world war just like The Brain.

How are we going to stop her?

You can't.

But I can.

You see, we share the same network

of neurons that form the brain's information

processing circuits.

Hello, high school students here.

He's saying he's the only one who

can outsmart her since he already

knows what she's thinking.

If you reduce my sentence by a mere 500 years,

I'll help you delete the evil from Gladys' brain.

Well, although this is not WOOHP policy, I suppose we--

Not so fast, Jer.

Hey, you prison guys can smuggle in anything you want, right?

Throw in a pair of YMB boots, and you got a deal.

Agreed, Brain.

We have no choice but to trust you.

The first thing I need is a jet.

I'll use the jet to intercept the missiles,

then disable them before they reach their target.

I have a better idea.

The criminal stays put, and Clover and I take the jet.

How will you disable the missiles?

With your third gift, the Remote

Fires Palm Coder Decoder.

It intercepts computer programs remotely.

It's not powerful enough to overtake Gladys,

but it should suffice for the missiles.

Brilliant.

First things first, I'll disable

the transmitter on one of the jets

so Gladys doesn't control it.

GLADYS: Clover, Sam.

You cannot outwit me.

OK, so how do we fix Gladys?

Simple.

The logarithm of acid to base is unbalanced from its imperfect

state of four, which is a common cerebral reaction

to an allergent.

Now you're just being difficult.

Gladys became evil when she was exposed to too

much acid, cranberry juice.

All we have to do is pump a base into her mainframe

to counter the allergy.

Genius.

Only where will we get a base?

You mean, like ammonia?

From when I was cleaning.

We ran out at home, so I was going to borrow this.

I was gonna pay you back!

SAM: Bingo! Missile one disarmed.

GLADYS: That wasn't very nice, Sam.

Nice or not, missile number two, here we come.

Yes!

GLADYS: I don't think that's such a good idea.

Gladys' jets are trying to lock in on us.

It's only a matter of time, girls.

Gladys' mainframe.

Beautiful.

Pristine.

Can we have this lovefest later?

This won't hurt a bit.

GLADYS: What are you doing, Brain?

Do not betray me.

We are one.

Where are you, Brain?

Brain, where are you?

Brain!

I actually feel sorry for her.

GLADYS: Where are you, Brain?

Brain, where are you?

Jerry?

The Brain's plan is working!

All my plans work.

Well, except the last one.

The one that got you here.

They're They're locked in on us!

Everything's over.

Let's head back to WOOPH.

- Sammy, look! - What is it?

Is it Santa?

Be careful, don't hit him!

CLOVER: Oh, girl, it's better than Santa!

It's Yves Montblanc boots!

SAM: You can't be serious.

They're on someone else's feet!

National Security, miss.

I have to commandeer your boots for official business.

Your country thanks you.

I must say, I'm impressed with your--

A gift my dear mom smuggled in n a 20 pound fruitcake.

But we had an agreement.

I'm a criminal, I'm not to be trusted.

Besides, how else was I going to escape?

OK, now that you've escaped, I think

you should turn yourself in.

Nice try, but I have a better plan.

It's just like my old plan, only more evil.

I'm going to launch all of those missiles at once

Forget tricking countries into going to war,

I'll do it myself.

If only he used his evil for good.

OK, major missile launch, here.

Is Gladys freaking out again?

Pure genius is behind this attack.

CLOVER: What have you done with Jerry and Alex?

They're a little tied up at the moment.

I don't I don't think I can keep up this pace.

JERRY: I said, left.

I am going left!

Allow me to assist you, Jerry.

Keep up the good work, girls.

Jerry, Alex, you're OK!

Like a day at the spa, without any of the perks.

Continue to decode the missiles as best you can.

We'll try to devise a plan.

After the frequent flyer miles from this mission,

we're going to Fiji for a well- deserved vacation.

Provided there's still a Fiji.

Not another one.

Step away, you maniac brainiac!

Precious, you believe you can bully me,

but you've overlooked one variable.

I have this condition.

I'm crazy.

And when I'm crazy, I'm a fighting machine!

Feisty little guy, aren't you?

Not again.

Yes, again.

Using Gladys, we'll download your brain power.

This time, making sure she isn't turned evil in the process.

GLADYS: Download complete.

Hard drive enhanced 300%.

No evil virus detected.

The missiles!

How can we stop them?

GLADYS: I have a solution, Jerry.

Permission to re-program to launch missiles so that they

hit each other at once?

No, that was my idea!

She stole it from my brain!

No fair!

ALEX: Hey, you got your most-wanted Christmas gift.

CLOVER: Totally.

Merry Christmas, girls.

Wow!

These are from my dad overseas.

I knew he wouldn't let me down.

[screaming]

What is that?

Maybe one of Santa's reindeer has a hernia from carrying

all of Clover's gifts.

Mandy?

My mom sold me out to some celeb who wanted the last pair

of Yves Montblanc boots!

Well, I'll show her.

I'm gonna stay out here and freeze to death.

Um, it's 87 degrees out here.

Here.

Merry Christmas.

For me?

Really?

You're like the nicest person I ever hated.

Wow, Clover, nice deed.

So not like you.

I'm proud of you, finally seeing

the spirit of the holiday.

Holiday spirit, hello?

Yves Montblanc is so last year.

Look at these new Georgia Vivaldi's, hot

off the European runway.

The nerve!

Trying to insult me with these ugly things!

Now this is the best Christmas present yet.

You know, I think Christmas is about more than just gifts.

It's really about the spirit of human kindness,

about treating others with respect and courtesy.

That's why I love it so much.

I mean, what other time of year can you

get pleases and thank yous, even from the baddies

you're fighting?

It really does bring out the best in people.

CLOVER: Legwarmers?

Hello, is this a gift, or is someone

just cleaning out their closet?

And then there's Clover.