Original subtitles

♪ Life is a masquerade ♪

♪ in which a million different parts are played ♪

♪ you play a hero ♪

♪ or a fool ♪

♪ there is no golden rule ♪

♪ it's just a masquerade ♪

♪ life is a masquerade ♪

♪ we fell in love ♪

♪ but what a price we paid ♪

♪ we played a game of let's pretend ♪

♪ but found that love must end ♪

♪ just like a masquerade ♪

♪ poor fool ♪

♪ to believe you were mine ♪

♪ can my heart ♪

♪ be rescued in time? ♪

♪ Let's face reality ♪

♪ a love like ours ♪

♪ could never really be ♪

♪ although I fell in love with you ♪

♪ the comedy is through

♪ just like a masquerade ♪♪

♪♪

Goodbye.

They'll be away any moment now, sir. I do feel we should...

Don't fuss, Benson.

My timing's immaculate.

Ben Fa'id will get his official farewell,

but with all the diplomatic reserve I can muster.

Traipsed all the way out to his tin pot embassy last night,

and he refused to receive me.

Sent word he'd gone to the theater.

Do try and march in step.

With all the millions Ramaut's snatching from us,

you'd think they'd afford an embassy somewhere central.

My chauffeur mistook it for the goods entrance to Harrods.

- Drexel here? - Yes, sir.

Good morning, sir.

Sorry to see our visitors go, Drexel?

Well, hardly, sir.

I've been eating off the floor for a week now.

How good of you to come.

We appreciate the courtesy.

Her majesty's government has asked me

to convey its respects, Excellency.

I hope your stay in England has been enjoyable.

Oh, yes, indeed.

Excellency,

relations between our countries have always been good.

I'm sure you would not wish to see them deteriorate.

Mr. Minister,

my country is very hard and forbidding on the surface.

Its worth, like that of a good man, lies at his heart.

Its oil.

That is my bargaining power.

Colonel Drexel here, who knows us well,

will tell you that we have nothing else.

Colonel, you must come back to Ramaut soon,

to revisit the scenes of your wartime triumphs.

Thank you, but I prefer not to fight old battles over again.

It's hardly for me to find you new ones.

Your Excellency,

I'm on the retired list.

Then we can sleep safe in our beds.

Goodbye, Colonel.

When will you leave?

- On Friday, if all goes well. - Benson? - All arranged, sir.

Not via Cairo.

- Quite. I've routed you through Athens. - Good.

Do organize this nonsense tactfully, Drexel.

We rather wish to keep H.M.G.'s nose clean.

It's understood, sir.

The government won't be involved.

It'd be a pity if we had to let the baby out with the bathwater, as it were.

We know what we want. Up to you to get it.

I can't imagine how, officially.

I can, sir. Unofficially.

Henrickson.

Good morning to you.

Mr. Henrickson, chairman of the Anglo Media Oil Company.

I kept out of the way.

Ben Fa'id's apt to throw a fit at the sight of me.

Any change out of him?

I expected none at this stage.

I don't want to press the subject, Mr. Minister,

but may one ask what steps the government intends to take?

The interests of your company

and the interests of the government are identical, Henrickson.

A renewal of the oil concession in Ramaut.

Naturally, we'll do all we can to bring it about.

Very well, then I'd like to talk.

I'll drive you back.

Colonel Drexel, the man who could bring about

a renewal of this concession

would be doing a great service to his country.

I only think of my country nowadays.

I'm an old man.

Money means nothing to me.

Is there anything else you want from me?

Yes, Benson, your age.

I'm carrying 10 years' excess baggage.

You still insist you need this man of yours, this American?

Yes, we worked very well together during the war.

Besides, an American will help the unofficial look of the thing.

Oh, don't worry. You'll have a chance to check on him.

We've already started.

He's certainly had an active time of it.

Yes, David always was an Errol Flynn fan.

His career's been erratic, to say the least of it.

Journalist. Didn't last long, 3 months.

Deep-sea salvage company, treasure off the Azores.

No treasure, apparently. Part owner of ex-M.T.B. Charter Works.

No luck there, either, or else the customs got too hot for him.

I'm not even bothering to mention the ladies

who keep appearing and disappearing with vulgar regularity.

One of our own men would certainly suit me better.

Oh, if only everybody would care what suited you, Benson,

what a sunny world you'd live in.

I think I should insist.

I just used what I hoped was subtlety on you.

Benson, I see I shall have to be a little more vigorous.

This is an unofficial mission, my unofficial mission.

And I intend to run it in my own unofficial way.

I've seen David Frazer under pressure,

and I like what I've seen.

I trust you have no further objections?

I trust not, sir.

Then relax, man.

I Grant you, he didn't go to Eton.

But try and find it in your heart to forgive him.

Like the American economy,

he's fundamentally sound.

Hold it.

That's all, general, and you, David.

I want a single of the bishop for the church times.

I might want you again next week, David.

Well, I might not be around, Tim.

I doubt if this is really my line.

Pity. You're a good new face.

Not for long.

Uh, what about the bathing costume, David?

Oh, yeah, bathing costume.

Well, I'm... I'm in a hurry, I'll, uh, drop it off later.

Good to see you again, Drexel.

Whatever it is you want to get from me, the answer is no.

Oh, how sad that would make me,

if I didn't know you'd change your mind.

Let's go along to my place and chat a bit.

It's going to be wonderful working with you again, David.

Drexel, I never worked with you. I always worked for you.

Oh, nonsense.

Then how come I always ended up with the dirty end of the stick?

Well, it was the luck of the draw.

I mean, wasn't it lucky that I found out

that you were living in London?

Luck of the draw.

You want something from me, Drexel,

that means you've been checking on me for weeks.

By the way, did you have any luck

with that salvage business in the Azores”?

Here's your money, David. 2 pounds 11 and twopence.

But I... I worked an hour and a half.

You were late. We only booked an hour.

We've deducted national insurance.

2 pounds, 11 shillings and twopence.

I forgot to mention the money.

Don't you insult me.

How about 500 pounds?

Insult me some more.

1943.

Allied tanks, in a daring 500-mile sortie,

have driven the axis armies from the desert kingdom of Ramaut.

Now, led by their famous commander, Colonel Francis Drexel,

they make a triumphal entry into the streets of the capital.

King Ahmed greets Drexel as a liberator.

He's boldly favored closer ties with Britain.

Now, it seems he'll encourage the British

to develop the untapped oil in his impoverished kingdom.

But the peace doesn't last.

After a few difficult years,

conspirators strike at the pro-British ruler.

As Ahmed rides in state

through his dusty capital, he's assassinated.

♪♪

One of Britain's last friends in the middle east is dead.

The throne passes to his son, Jamil,

barely 2 months old.

But real power passes to Jamil's uncle,

the regent, Ben Fa'id.

Throughout Prince Jamil's infancy,

it's this man who dominates the distant kingdom

and controls the oil so important to Britain's economy.

Today in Ramaut,

as the oil concession comes up for renewal

and the regency nears its end,

a fierce power struggle has begun.

On one side are the friends of the young king,

who, like his father and most of his people,

Favor the west.

On the other is the regent, Ben Fa'id,

who reportedly favors a deal

beyond the iron curtain.

In 3 weeks, Jamil, at 14,

comes of age by tribal law

to succeed to the throne.

Will he be able to do so in peace?

If he can, Ramaut's oil may still flow to the west.

But if Jamil cannot control the government,

the wind of nationalist change

may sweep away yet another fragment

of Britain's crumbling authority in the middle east.

This is James Mossman in Ramaut,

returning you to the studio in London.

Well, there it is, gentlemen.

We borrowed this film from the B.B.C.

The usual defeatist angle, of course.

But it puts the situation reasonably concisely.

Well, now, shall we go back to the office?

Those pictures took you back a bit, I expect, eh, Frazer?

Yes, sir. They couldn't help but do that.

Who is that guy?

The head of the secret service, I suspect.

You suspect?

No one knows.

That's how secret it is.

Well, Frazer, you are now in the picture, politically. Sit down.

Thank you.

Politically, however, we can go no further.

Talks on the oil concession have completely broken down.

Now it's up to Drexel, here.

What can he do that the government can't?

He can act as a private individual,

but he'll need help.

And that's where you come in.

Frankly, what we fear is that if Prince Jamil remains in Ramaut,

his life may be in danger.

We want to keep him safe

until he ascends the throne in 3 weeks' time,

and gives us the oil rights.

It's as simple as that.

You want me to go to Ramaut?

Wouldn't it be better to send in the Marines?

We're British, Mr. Frazer.

These days, alas, we only invade when invited.

Or when you Americans allow us.

I want you in Spain, David.

Drexel will bring the Prince there,

to neutral ground.

Your responsibility

will be to guard the boy once he gets there.

The regent has powerful allies.

The Russian military mission is already in Ramaut.

You'll go to Spain, Frazer, as an ordinary tourist,

lie low and attract no attention to yourself.

As I understand the situation,

it's all for the greater glory and profit

of the Anglo Media Oil Company.

For once, our commercial interests coincide

with those of your state department.

Sir, we're wasting time.

You've already had Frazer checked,

or he wouldn't be here now.

My car's waiting. Come along, David.

We'll talk details on the way to the airport.

We'll give you the off in a day or 2.

Stay in London and, uh, out of trouble.

Well, obviously you still disapprove.

After all, he did fight for us during the war,

even before his own country came in.

Have you heard from Washington?

Oh, Frazer's clear with the Americans, all right,

except for some small back tax problem.

I just think that sometimes we let Drexel get away with too much.

Well, we need him.

Besides, for once he didn't bellyache about his accounts.

Frazer may not be the orthodox type,

but orthodoxy won't get us the oil concession.

And I'm hoping Drexel will.

And if he needs Frazer in Spain,

then by all means, let him have Frazer in Spain.

Hello, stranger.

Howdy. Give me one of those.

Say, what are my chances of renting a car

to, uh, villa de Los Angeles?

He doesn't understand.

Yeah, he speaks English. I heard him.

Just "hello, stranger, want to buy some postcards?"

Want to buy some postcards?

English?

American.

Spanish?

French.

Mmm, maybe you can tell me how to get to...

- The villa de Los Angeles? - Yeah.

It can be arranged.

Please.

Georges.

I wanted to hire a car.

Ok. It so happens I am going that way.

Georges Sarrasin.

David Frazer.

Please.

Thank you very much. Bye.

Paviot!

Another Johnny Walker, por favor.

Thank you.

Do you rent this place?

No, just, uh, staying with a friend.

There is a boat here. I've seen it.

Very fast, very beautiful.

What do I owe you?

Don't worry, I will think of something.

My name is Sophie. Sophie.

May I congratulate you, sir, on the discreetness of your arrival?

Cpl. Brindle, you're still working for the Colonel, eh?

Yes, sir.

And as lippy as ever.

I've always spoken my mind.

Who were your traveling companions, sir?

I don't know. They just gave me a lift.

The big one carried a gun.

Said something about a high-powered boat.

Said you had one here. Is that right?

Quite correct, sir.

Your friends are probably smugglers.

They'd love to get their hands on a good fast boat.

Security, sir.

One gets used to them.

I can see that.

Quiet. Quiet.

I'll introduce you to them later, sir.

They won't bite, once they know you.

They'll just growl a bit.

When are you expecting the Colonel?

Tomorrow night, sir, if all's gone well.

I think I'll take that boat into town,

let those smugglers take a look at it and just see what happens.

Hey, this is a nice place.

Yes, sir. I suppose it had to be.

Gee, they shouldn't have gone to all this trouble, Brindle.

I'd have been as happy with something simple.

I don't think they were thinking of you, sir.

I understand we're expecting royalty.

Right.

For heaven's sake, there's no time to lose.

Come along. Hurry.

Was that a request or an order?

Your highness, a request, naturally.

I have permitted you to kidnap me,

but don't ever forget that in 2 weeks' time,

I shall be ruler of my people.

They love me. You may assist me.

I am practically divine.

Your highness, you're irresistible.

♪♪

No, no. Now, now.

I sing American song. I sing Lili.

Hush, shh, shh. Ah, ah. No.

I sing Lili Marlene.

- No, no, please. - Moon over Miami.

I good singer. I sing English song.

No, no.

I sing American song.

No, no. Please, listen.

I sing Lili Marlene. Moon over Miami.

No, no, please. All I want is flamenco.

♪♪

Do me a favor, old man.

Go and play with your dog somewhere else.

There's a good chap. I'm trying to make a recording.

♪♪

Well!

Strange, our running into each other again.

May I sit down?

Oh, care for a drink? Uh-huh.

How are you? Are you fine?

I'm not so fine.

Well, I know I shouldn't ask, but why not?

Georges promised to take me tonight

in his boat and then he broke his promise.

What a great piece of luck. I just happen to have my boat.

You will take me for a ride?

If at all possible.

♪♪

Ah!

Running out of gas in a boat?

You Americans think of everything.

Huh!

Must be the carburetor.

Well, might take a little while to fix.

Uh, there's no hurry.

What? Oh.

No, I... I... I guess not.

You like me?

Oh, I've always gone for the intellectual type.

"Intellectual" means?

Athletic, outdoorsy.

There is a woman...

Where?

...in your life?

Oh, well, yeah, there have been a few.

Were they as intellectual as me?

Not one.

Tell me, what's a nice girl like you doing in a place like this?

It has never been like this for me before.

Did you hear bells ring?

Bells?

In my country, when it happens like this, you hear bells.

I hear them. I hear them.

So do I.

It's too perfect.

You, the moon, the stars,

the boat.

It was fate that brought us together.

No, actually, it was a gun.

Oh, well, I mean, I was looking for somebody interested

in selling a gun. You wouldn't...

I detest violence. I know no one with a gun.

I didn't think you would.

Time we got busy, Sophie.

Having trouble with your boat, Mr. Frazer?

Well, I appreciate your rowing all the way to find out.

No, it seems to be working fine, thanks.

Bye.

It took a little longer than I thought.

I think they're after the boat.

That's very interesting, sir.

I'm starving. What's to eat?

Nothing, sir.

What?

Oh, there is food, sir.

It's just that you won't have time to enjoy it.

Here.

- What's that? - A flashlight, sir.

The British consulate, Valencia, called.

You're to rendezvous with the cargo ship Roi Bleu,

3 miles due east of Cabo De La Nao

at 0030 hours. Signals are 3 flashes,

then a one-second interval, then 3 more.

Have you got all that, sir?

Oh, but I haven't got any of it.

Have you got a pencil and paper?

I don't think we ought to write it down,

do you, sir? Enemy hands and all that?

Oh, yeah. Well, uh, you better give me a map.

Very good, sir.

How'd it go?

Getting the boy away from the Arabs, that was nothing.

Keeping him out the toughest secret service in the world

tries to get him away from us won't be so easy.

I hope you'll be comfortable here, your highness.

I'm prepared for hardship.

I shall require a personal servant to sleep outside my door,

and, of course, someone to taste all my food.

Well, sir, I'm on my own...

Please don't question my orders. Instruct the staff.

500 pounds isn't enough, Drexel.

I ought to be gettin' combat pay for taking care of that little monster.

You know what I think?

It doesn't matter a damn what you think.

What matters is you keep that boy safe until he's turned 14

and signed the treaty giving us the oil rights.

That's all.

That is all!

You're not happy. I can tell.

I don't know.

I'm tired.

I suppose I want to give the little bastard what for as much as you do.

I'll be just as glad when Benson gets here.

Benson?

Yes, I've got to report to the embassy in Madrid tomorrow.

I shall be bringing Benson back with me.

Sir Robert insists on him coming here to check things over.

Benson and young Genghis Khan.

Now, that's a daily double.

What about, uh, Ben Fa'id? What's he have to say?

Not a thing.

He can't let on. He'd be accused of the kidnapping.

Officially, Prince Jamil is on vacation.

I've got his highness locked in safe for the night, sir.

There are only 2 keys to Jamil's room.

Brindle and I will keep one, you, the other.

If there's nothing else, I think I'll be saying good night, sir.

Did he give you any trouble?

I think I've got the measure of him now, Sir.

I told him I was hard of hearing. Nobody gives me trouble.

Thank god he's not the enemy.

David.

Sir?

Do you ever miss the war?

What's the punch line?

Oh, I do.

Everything was so much simpler then.

Just the good guys and the bad guys, huh?

Well, that's what I miss about the war, David.

I can't spot the bad guys anymore.

That's why we were good soldiers.

All the bad guys were visible then.

We haven't done so well since, have we?

You have.

Funny, I'm one of the least successful men I know.

Even my marriages didn't work out.

I want a bit of peace.

Sometimes, I think I should settle for a cottage in the country.

Oh, the department wouldn't mind.

The Bensons of this world are taking over.

Passionless, practical men.

Well, never mind. We'll give them a run for their money.

Cheer up, fellow failure. If we need any quick loot,

I know some smugglers who'd give us anything for that boat.

Mmm. Funny about that.

There's a big fellow with a gun,

a dwarf, and a girl who...

You should have settled for that cottage a long time ago.

I'll do my best to get back tonight.

Have fun with the boy wonder.

If he gets unhappy, I'll give him a stick and let him beat Brindle.

Brindle, what are you fussing about in the back for?

Putting the flask of coffee where it won't spill, sir.

Oh, I've left my key to Jamil's room with Brindle.

Undoubtedly he's hidden it.

Yes, sir.

You'll find it on top of the lavatory cistern.

He's a nice chap, Brindle. No imagination.

I'll take the first tour of the grounds.

You stay with the boy.

I mean his highness.

What are you doing here?

Well, isn't that my line?

You are not glad to see me?

Where is the rest of the boy scout troop?

Oh, I... I came alone.

You're cold?

You won't find it.

Find what?

The key to the boathouse.

But last night, you said you would teach me to drive the boat.

Look, sweetheart,

you could do us a lot of good if you'd just stay away.

So just... ow!

What's the matter?

Hey, that big ape hit you?

I don't mind.

You don't mind? You're pretty kinky, baby.

That's a hell of a bruise.

You make fun of me.

In my own feeble way, yeah.

Oh, but last night, you...

Oh, come on, Sophie, let's face it.

Last night we were both shoveling bilge at each other, right?

You don't trust me?

Bingo.

I do not lie.

We'll pay you very well for the boat.

It's not mine.

What about a percentage?

Bye.

What are you looking at?

3 men and a woman, your highness.

A woman? Is she pretty? Let me see. Let me see.

I like looking at pretty women.

Recognize any of them?

No, unfortunately.

But I tell you something, Mr. Frazer.

There will come a time when I shall surround myself with women like that.

That's a noble ambition, your highness. When?

When? When I turn 14.

Hello, there.

Didn't I see you down the village?

That's right.

Nice to see you again, sir, but, uh, you can't stay here.

Oh, don't say that, old son.

I was thinking of camping here to get some good recordings.

Oh, Dunwoody's the name, Leslie Dunwoody.

Oh, what kind of recordings were you after?

Well, you know, bird songs, folk songs, anything of interest.

Very keen on that sort of thing, the B.B.C. It pays for my holiday.

I see. Well, I'm sorry, but you came to the wrong place, sir.

On the contrary, the place is perfect.

Shh, listen. Hear that?

That's an orange-breasted corncrake. It's very rare.

Mr. Dunwoody...

I might even get its mating cry, this time of the year.

If I do, I'll play it for you. They kick up the most unholy din.

Uh, Mr. Dunwoody, there's a little wood about a mile down the road

just infested with orange-crested corncrakes, all screaming for their mates.

You having me on, old son?

I'm just trying to tell you diplomatically, sir,

that you're trespassing on private property.

I don't think you're being very hospitable.

Now you got it, sir.

Well, really.

So much for cooperation between English-speaking peoples.

I came as soon as I could to tell you to take care.

"Take care." What does that mean?

I can't say any more.

- Well, try. - I can't.

Baby, you always stop on the punch line.

Oh, look, look, baby...

Ow!

Did he belt you again?

Oh, please don't make fun of me anymore.

I hope this is not the last time we meet.

No.

Hey!

You mean that? 'Cause I can't tell with you.

Sometimes I can't, either.

I mean that.

I enjoyed very much our, how do you say, conversations.

Yeah.

Would his highness do us the honor of finishing that in bed?

He was about to go there himself.

A bit far-fetched, don't you think?

Who was that on the motorcycle, sir?

Some bird nut. I'll lock up the Prince.

Get the other key to his room.

Lost yours, sir?

No, I don't lose things. Get it.

Hello?

Mr. Frazer? Georges Sarrasin.

Sarrasin?

Just play innocent. All you have to do is leave the boathouse open.

No one will know.

We'll make a deposit in any bank you like in Madrid.

Just tell us which one you want and the money is yours.

Listen, buddy, and I mean this...

Tonight, Mr. Frazer.

Brindle.

Get those .45s.

You keep one, give me the other.

You all right, your highness?

Of course.

Trouble with you, Sarrasin, is you're not aggressive enough.

You give up too easily.

Why do you refuse to understand?

All we want from you is a little commerce.

A little free enterprise.

You people are driving me up the wall over this boat.

The answer is no, negative, never. Niet.

A man of action. How rare.

Be quiet!

Well, if they came through this way,

as they must have done,

they might have taken the boy away by sea.

But I checked the boat, it's still here.

Brindle, is Frazer conscious yet?

He's just coming around, sir.

And you're sure nothing out of the ordinary happened all day?

Nothing, sir, excepting Mr. Frazer

losing his key, and the phone call he got,

and the people he was worried about in the town.

Nothing out of the ordinary at all.

Thank you, Brindle.

Thank you, sir.

All right, sir?

All right, Brindle.

I see we both bought it, huh?

Yes, sir.

Yes, both on the back of the head.

Now then, Frazer...

Give him a moment, for god's sake.

It's all right, David. We'll find the boy.

Sorry, I, uh, mucked it up.

I thought they were after the boat.

I'm sorry. They?

Yeah.

This gang. I thought they were smugglers after the boat.

Even when she stole my key,

I thought it was a key to the boathouse she was after.

I should have seen that, but I didn't.

I'm a bit slow this evening.

Now, this gang of so-called smugglers,

you just found out about their existence today?

No, I met them the minute I got in town.

Then, you, of course, told Colonel Drexel all about them.

Yes, of course he did.

Well, I tried to tell him, but he fell asleep.

I understand that happens all the time.

Now, Brindle mentioned a telephone call.

Yes, it was one of the gang.

He said he wanted the boat. I said, "no."

Then when he came to get the boat,

I went down to see him, and that's when I got hit.

Now, let me see if I've got this quite straight.

You told him no, so he came anyway,

and you were there to meet him.

Do you want to change anything so far, Frazer?

You know what you're doing?

Always, Colonel Drexel.

What's he doing?

He's accusing you, in his own way, of...

Of lousing it up. I admitted that.

Of lying, Mr. Frazer.

Of lying.

How could you possibly think...

Good heavens, how could I possibly not?

Have you ever heard a more patently absurd story?

I know this man.

Knew him, close to 20 years ago.

A lot can happen, don't you think, in 20 years? No, Colonel.

It's not going to do you any good if you jump to the wrong conclusions.

I hardly think I have.

Your man's involved,

and just like everything else he's done since the war, he's done it badly.

Why the hell would I kidnap the boy?

Why the hell wouldn't you? You know how much he's worth.

And if I say to you that Frazer is innocent...

You've already lied once this evening on his behalf.

I really don't see what's to prevent your lying again, do you?

Odd, isn't it?

What?

The dogs.

I would imagine they were trained to bark at all strangers.

They certainly did at me.

But I don't think they could have barked earlier this evening,

else Brindle would have been ready.

It is odd, isn't it?

Well, Colonel, you want to defend your friend. Defend him.

Why didn't they bark?

Well, tell him why they didn't.

Tell him.

I don't know.

Frazer, you'll come with me first thing in the morning

to the British embassy in Madrid.

Why?

Jamil is gone, so your work is certainly done here.

If you're innocent, you shouldn't mind,

and if you're not, it should make things a bit more difficult

for you and yours to communicate.

What about finding the boy?

Since I think you were involved in his disappearance,

you can hardly expect me to let you go about finding him, can you?

I wasn't involved.

Well, in that case, you'll be anxious to come to Madrid

and get everything straightened out, won't you, Frazer?

You see, it's out of my hands.

But you believed him?

Oh, no.

Well, that's something.

Wish it was something more.

You haven't nearly enough for a case, you know.

Good heavens, Colonel, I've only chatted to the man for 5 minutes.

Who knows what I can unearth, given time?

You overconfident bastard.

We'll have to let things out into the open a bit now.

Prince Jamil has been kidnapped whilst here on holiday.

I'll notify the Madrid police.

You must admit, now, I had some cause for doubt.

You distrust everyone, don't you?

What do you care about, Benson? Surely there's something.

My country, Colonel Drexel.

Above all else, that.

Ups-a-Daisy, Frazer.

You are going to be reasonable, Mr. Frazer, right?

You don't like violence, right?

Hmm? Right?

Right.

Paviot!

Rather naughty, Mr. Frazer, rather naughty.

I don't like violence either...

When it is senseless.

I see your point.

Up! Up!

Now, wait a minute, now, ca...

The fumes may make you a little tipsy, monsieur.

Sorry it's only vin ordinaire. It's the best we can do.

Yes?

Benson.

Well, where are you?

I see.

They stopped the car.

Frazer got away.

The driver's dead.

He's going to have quite a hangover.

And what about his face?

Don't worry about his face.

You'll pay for this, Frazer.

In my country, torture is still legal!

It was necessary to convince the boy

that you were well and strong

and one of us, our leader.

Boss.

You're mad at me.

I'd hit you right in the kisser, only I'm afraid you'd like it.

The things I did, I had to do.

Besides, they're over. Now I will help you.

Ask me anything you want and I will tell you the truth.

What are they going to do with the boy?

I don't know.

- Where the hell are we? - I don't know.

This place must've been empty for years.

- We were told to come here. - Who told you?

I don't know that, either. Someone.

Take back everything I said, you're a real help.

"Someone, I don't know, I don't know, I don't know."

Those are facts and answers you can really get your teeth into.

- Come here. - What?

I told you I would help you and I will. You can escape. Look.

Just stop helping me, will you, baby?

Oh, it's not as bad as you think.

All you have to do is get down to that ledge

and walk around until you find an open window.

Oh, I see.

I'll walk around out there till I find an open window,

crawl in, sneak up behind everybody, and knock 'em out.

That's right.

No, thanks, baby. I saw that movie, it's not for me.

Where do you people go every night? You drive in, you drive out...

There's no time to talk. Something's going on about the boy.

- What? - I don't know.

They're all waiting for... for him. Everyone is frightened.

They won't let you live much longer.

I see. Well, uh, do they know you're here?

No, I...

You ok?

I'm sorry, baby, I had to do it so they wouldn't suspect you.

Now I want... look, baby, I don't think we have time to...

You know, I may not be the right fella for you,

but when you find him, you're gonna have yourself a ball.

Where am I gonna hide these?

No, not now.

He will be here soon. Don't do it now.

Phew!

Phew!

Oh...

Yeah.

Georges, a drink.

Tell us how it goes.

I'm on my way to Madrid.

The oil company is flying someone out to talk.

- To you? - Yes.

I've received a message from the kidnapper of Prince Jamil,

uh, David Frazer.

He is prepared to hand the boy over for a certain sum of money.

The oil company'll have plenty of that.

It will be my considered advice to them

and to the British government, that the ransom should be paid.

Frazer's a desperate man.

The boy's life is in danger.

How much will they pay?

Enough, Georges. Enough for us all.

The oil company will hand me the money to give to Frazer,

and I shall return, bringing the boy with me.

There'll be no questions asked.

Unless they find Frazer.

I'll take care of that.

They won't look very hard, once they've got the boy.

Meanwhile, keep Frazer under lock and key.

We must be able to produce him at any time for the boy to see.

It's vital that he believes that Frazer's the kidnapper.

He believes that, all right.

Now take me to Frazer.

Georges! Georges!

Frazer's gone!

He must have been helped.

Georges! Get everyone away from here.

Take the boy. Hide him.

Fetch him now.

He mustn't see you.

Don't worry, he won't.

As soon as you've got him away, I'll follow.

Come here.

Of course, I should've known.

Known what?

Frazer.

He always did have a way with women.

Perhaps you're wondering why I've, uh, called us together.

Go ahead, use it.

Come now, relax.

I mean it, Drexel.

Boy, you're being irrational.

What are you so upset about?

You want the long or the short answer?

Oh, come, we're both civilized people.

Your snobbish friends don't think I'm civilized.

They're aching to believe I'm a crook.

I know why you chose me for this job. I'm unreliable.

Of course, dear boy.

Never have I made a wiser selection.

You've been magnificently stupid, you know.

I'm coming for you, Drexel.

Do you think you can shoot me?

Ah, we'll have to wait until the pregnant moment comes, won't we?

But before it does, let me say just 3 little words.

50,000 pounds.

You won't buy me again.

But I've always planned on sharing with you, David.

I'm fond of you, you know that.

I never would have framed you, otherwise.

Oh, thanks.

50,000 is a quarter of what I expect to clear

from the oil company.

What would I do with it? Where would I go?

South America, dear boy.

Everybody's disappearing there nowadays.

It's practically the thing to do.

Well, why should I stick my neck out

Cause I'm offering to share with you now,

rather than kill you.

Do you know how much 50,000 pounds is?

How, in all conscience, can you turn it down?

Well?

- How much? - 50,000 pounds.

That's $140,000.

Meet your new partner.

Good man.

Well, what happens now?

Keep out of sight until I've haggled

with the Anglo media oil company.

Well, then you'll need a false passport.

I know a man in Madrid. Oh, sorry.

Thank you.

He's expensive, but, uh, real value for money.

And you might, uh, lighten your hair a bit.

Mmm, grow a mustache, if you like.

What's the matter?

I don't know, I...

Well, perhaps a mustache might be a bit...

What is the matter?

I told you. I don't know...

Oh, come on. Now, about your passage.

I've got some good contacts in Marseilles.

- Drexel. - Yes, David?

I've got a funny feeling...

Well, I'm not surprised,

after that foolhardy escapade out of the window.

...that I'm not gonna do it.

An experienced mountaineer wouldn't have.

I'm not gonna do it.

Oh, come on, I've got some Brandy in the car.

I'd be a fugitive for the rest of my life.

In a few years' time, nobody will remember.

No, I, uh, I just can't do it, I...

Why can't you?

Because I've got scruples.

I've got scruples.

All my life, I've wanted to get that much money,

and now that I've got the chance,

I can't take it, because I've got scruples.

Damn!

One loses them, David. One loses them.

Now, I'm older than you,

and believe me, I had scruples,

but they had to go.

Now, you knew me during the war.

I was a good soldier. A good man, I think.

But since then,

you don't know the sort of jobs they've put me to.

What's a patriot, David?

Well, I think I'm one.

But I've had to kill men, patriots like me,

just because they were on the other side.

Sometimes, I don't think I know

what's right or wrong, anymore.

I had to lose my scruples, and what did they give me instead?

A pat on the back, a word of praise in a secret report.

A dinner at a club.

I want more than that, uh, materially, I mean.

I'd like that cottage, David.

I'd like to own the bed I'm going to die in.

But this isn't the way to get it.

Look, it's not too late,

let's take the little monster back to London,

and do the job we're paid to do.

I don't think I can stomach morality from you, dear boy.

The pregnant moment, then, huh?

I wonder what will happen.

Oh, dear.

David, I think I'm going to be able to.

I've been taught by masters.

I don't wanna fight you, Drexel.

I suppose we must, dear boy.

We're both too old for this sort of thing.

Who's that?

Me. Dunwoody.

What the hell are you doing here?

Now, then, now, then.

You're David Frazer, the kidnapper.

There's no point in denying it.

You're wanted by the police.

You better be civil to me this time.

Where's Drexel?

What do you know about Drexel?

Oh, quite a lot. That's what I get paid for.

Dunwoody detective agency.

Discreet, confidential.

Well, how does Drexel fit in all this?

Divorce, a specialty.

The 2nd Mrs. Drexel wants a divorce.

I'm afraid the Colonel's proved, uh, very elusive.

Mr. Dunwoody, you're probably the greatest divorce detective in the world.

He's inside.

- Here? - Yeah.

My god! Have you done him in?

Oh, it's a concussion, I should say.

Let's get him out of this place.

And don't let's get any wrong notions

about each other, mister.

I think there's quite a lot you ought to be telling me.

Well, it's a bit far-fetched, old son.

You're not having me on again, are you?

Do you think I could make up a story like that?

If it's true, I should go to the police.

Oh, they'd never believe me.

I hardly believe me, myself.

The boy thinks I kidnapped him.

So it's his word and Drexel's against mine.

My only chance is to find him and get him back to England.

You're a patriot, Mr. Frazer.

A man with real moral scruples.

Oh, shut up, will you?

There's your patriot for you.

Well, how about it? Will you help me?

How?

Keep an eye on Drexel while I look for Sarrasin

and the rest of those characters.

I don't know where.

I shall want something for my trouble.

He's bound to come around in a minute. It might be dangerous for me...

The Anglo Media Oil Company

rewards all heroes, Mr. Dunwoody.

Hello, there.

That's the girl's.

A performing dog.

A performing dog.

A dwarf.

A knife.

Sophie, up.

♪♪ Up!

Up, Joby! Up, Joby!

Joby, up!

Joby!

Up, Joby! Joby, up!

What the hell are you doing here?

Keep your hair on. I've been thinking.

- Where's Drexel? - Don't you worry about him.

I've got him locked up, safe and sound. Still dead to the world, anyway.

No, no. I've been thinking. The boy must be here somewhere.

We could lift him this evening.

You couldn't do it on your own.

Joby!

♪♪

Interval.

Wait here, I'll be right back.

Where are you off to?

Ah, he's out of his depth.

Completely out of his depth.

♪♪

Don't move.

- Ah, I was so worried. - Yeah, Sophie...

- I thought you might have fallen. - Sophie...

I was so afraid.

Sophie, you can kiss me later, baby.

Sophie, I got to find the boy.

- He's not here. - You gotta take me to him.

It's all right, I took care of Drexel.

Now, look, are they going to the boy tonight?

Yes, we move after the show.

Good, you got to get me in one of the wagons.

They use me, you use me, everybody uses me.

You're a very useful girl, Sophie.

Where the hell have you been?

Talking to the girl.

I thought they'd nabbed you.

Listen, as soon as this is over, they're taking me to the boy.

They don't know it, but they are.

I'll come with you.

No, I'll be all right. You get back to Drexel.

What? Now?

Now.

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

Where the hell are we this time?

Locked in an animal cage.

Oh, don't accuse me again, I didn't betray you.

Well, keep your eye on the referee, baby,

"cause somebody's doing a hell of a job.

Who is that?

It's a white-crested vulture.

We have a little zoo with our circus.

Poor thing, he hasn't been well.

He's not the only one.

Dunwoody!

Hello there. Feeling better? Lord, it was funny.

It really was. You should have seen yourself.

A proper clown, you are.

What the hell has the 2nd Mrs. Drexel got against me?

Nothing that I know of. A different client.

Who?

The Arab, Ben Fa'id.

- What? - Oh, yes.

He's a very civilized gentleman, most cultured.

What about the boy?

You had your orders, I've got mine.

And Drexel?

I offered him a chance to come in on the deal.

He turned me down, so he's out of it now.

You mean you killed him?

Killed him? I should say not.

I'm a professional.

Next time, he might have the drop on me.

No, tit for tat, that's what I say. Tit for...

You were funny, really. You were funny.

Oh, knock it off.

Knock it off?

You're the one that's getting knocked off, old son.

How'd you ever get mixed up with crooks like that?

You stole the boy in the first place. You and the Colonel.

Look, I'm no political nut. Whatever I did, I did for money,

plain, honest and simple. 500 pounds.

You think I care about oil fields?

I'm a bareback rider. Our circus needs money, too.

If you're a bareback rider, how did you ever get mixed up with Drexel?

The old one, Gustave, is my uncle.

He met Drexel during the war.

The resistance used the circus to hide their men.

When he met up with us recently

and offered money to do this, we did it.

Oh, boy.

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm fine. Fine.

I'm an internationally known traitor.

I've been in a car wreck,

dunked in a wine tanker, hit on the head 3 times,

and locked up in a cage with a vulture.

I'm fine.

Hey, where are we going?

Winter quarters.

Up in the mountains. It's a long ride.

Well,

however will we pass the time?

Our place is across the valley.

We'll soon be able to drive over the dam.

Save 10 kilometers when they've finished it.

If ever they do.

Manjana. That's what they say, isn't it? Manjana.

Manjana.

We'll deal with them later. First, the boy.

Don't worry. He's safe.

Georges! Georges!

Look.

So that's the drill.

I'm allowed to go to 20,000 pounds.

A quarter of a million francs.

The money will be paid to you by the Ramaut government

when I give the word.

Come on now, bird.

I just wanna borrow your bamboo.

Take it easy. Take it easy, baby.

Hey, hey.

Get back there. Come on, Charlie,

get over it, get over it.

Take off, Charlie. Take off.

Don't hurt him. I told you he's not well.

There! In 2 minutes, we'll be out of here.

- You're wonderful. - Not really.

We have to get another pole.

All right, Charlie, I've got to get your other pole.

Here, here. Can't you bloody foreigners speak English?

Would you like to hear something in English?

I would.

50,000 pounds.

Come on, bird.

There. If I ever get out of here,

I'm coming back for you, Charlie.

40,000 pounds, but that's it.

45,000.

Impossible, absolutely impossible.

45,000, then.

45,000 pounds it is, Mr. Dunwoody.

But how do we know you'll pay?

How do I know you've actually got the boy?

We have the boy.

Just a minute, just a minute.

You trying to trick me? You trying to get me to pay you

and then not give me his highness?

Within limits, I am an honest man.

Then I'm sure you won't mind letting me see him.

Paviot.

There.

Outside.

Oh, yeah.

They're the wrong keys.

Somebody up there hates me.

Now you have seen him. He is alive. Let's go.

No, no, don't!

If he's dead, my job is done. Why should I pay you?

I have a knife.

I have a knife.

I'll bear that in mind.

I don't think he'd be much good dead, do you?

Drexel.

I thought you'd be out for days.

I've got a hard head in more ways than one.

And let's not try any more bargaining, hmm?

Look.

What will the British interests pay?

200,000 pounds, 250,000, if you haggle.

Ben Fa'id will pay twice that.

In here.

500,000 pounds is nothing.

We can get more. We can get much more.

We?

Yeah, of course, we. Fair's fair.

If I sell to Ben Fa'id, I'd sell alone.

Great Scott, man! Where's your morality?

I'm the one who cultivated Ben Fa'id.

I'm the one who gave you the idea.

Offered to split with you.

That would be betraying my country.

You're betraying your country right now.

Nonsense, I'm just trying to serve

the Anglo Media Oil Company.

There's all the difference in the world.

You disappoint me, Drexel.

After all this time, you're still not a professional.

I should have killed you when I had the chance.

Dunwoody shot him.

The boy is not safe here.

The roads are swarming with civil guards.

What about our money?

As soon as I get the ransom from the oil company,

you'll get your share.

Your job is to take care of Frazer.

You can get across the dam on foot.

Good.

I'll take the boy on the mule as far as there.

- Take it. - What?

Come on, take it.

Paviot is dead, Sophie.

We have no more need of guns.

We should never have got involved in this.

I know that now.

We belong with animals, not humans.

Drexel's got the boy.

He took him away, towards the dam.

There has been enough violence.

Well, I got to get that kid back to the British.

If Drexel does it his way, I can kiss everything goodbye.

We must disappear. Come.

Hey, wait a minute. Are you going with him?

Well, he is my husband.

You two married?

More or less.

We are circus people.

Well, thank god you're a minority group.

David! David!

Goodbye, David.

Goodbye, Sophie.

I hope they all kill each other.

You know, you will never get half a million from my uncle.

Sorry, didn't quite hear you.

I heard you, though, Colonel, you and your partner.

I think you've got things a bit jumbled, your highness.

Do you know, I am beginning to think that Frazer is innocent.

Well, I hope you're right.

David's a dear friend of mine.

Who is this partner of yours? Tell me.

I have no partners...

It is not necessary to lie to me anymore, Colonel Drexel.

Remember, I heard you,

and I will never let you take me to my uncle.

I'm not taking you to him. You've got it wrong.

The truth is...

Yes, Colonel Drexel?

Do us both a favor and shut up.

Your highness.

Come on.

Come on. Come on.

All right, down, quick.

Come back!

I told you, you would never take me.

Come back, you little bastard!

Go on, use my shoulders.

Go on, go on.

I've got to take the boy now.

I-I've got this far.

The boy comes with me.

No, with me.

The...

Pregnant moment, then.

I just saved your lousy life, Colonel.

I assure you, I will always be grateful.

Well, gentlemen,

the signing of the oil treaty with king Jamil

means that your mission has been entirely successful.

Benson, I think you owe Mr. Frazer an apology.

Yes, indeed.

We knew, of course, Dunwoody had defected.

And once we realized he was working for Ben Fa'id,

it all came clear.

Right, Benson?

Yes, Dunwoody obviously engineered everything.

He hired those circus people,

who unfortunately gave us the slip.

He kidnapped the Prince after we kidnapped him,

and framed Frazer. He was clearly trying to make us look guilty

in the eyes of the world.

Diabolical fellow, that Dunwoody.

We trained him, you know.

Well, Colonel, how do you think you'll like your new job with the oil company?

Their gratitude is out of all proportion to what I did.

They are overpaying me to the point of embarrassment.

Nonsense. You've earned every penny.

And you'd be glad to know that king Jamil

has officially apologized

for his absurd accusations against you.

Oh, that's very reassuring, sir.

Nobody's above suspicion nowadays.

Needless to say, I've put in a very strong word for you

in my report, Frazer.

You must dine with me at the club one evening.

And by the way, I've... I've got your money.

Oh, my 500 pounds, yes, sir.

Here's your check,

together with a note from my friends

in your treasury department.

Your back taxes are now completely paid up.

All right.

11 pounds, 9 shillings...

I'm so glad this little business has been instrumental

in straightening out your affairs.

...and twopence.

♪♪

Never fails to move me.

What is it, I wonder?

Love of country, sir.

Well, I shan't lecture these two upon that subject.

Here.

Well, thanks, Drexel.