Original subtitles

Jesus. I thought you'd died.

Hey. I got off late. So I'm, like, an hour behind.

Do you wanna meet there? Because I'm fucking starving.

Yeah, good luck. The place is gonna be jammed.

Do you want me to just not come?

Are you trying to blow me off again?

Alright, look. Get ready, come over here.

I got booze. We'll drink a bit and figure it out.

Obviously plans are gonna change.

There better be food

or I'm gonna eat your fucking face off.

I prefer you have that for dinner.

Sounds like we got a plan.

I will come over if you have food.

Look, if you're that fucking hungry, I'll order food now.

- I got booze. We hang here. - OK. Excellent.

Hold on. My manager's calling me.

I'll see you when you get here.

I need some good fucking news. What do you got?

- They're passing. - What?

You told me this was a done deal.

They're fucking passing?

You're a wild card without Stiggs.

A fucking wild card?

All the fucking movies I've made that made

so much money for these scumbag suits?

I'm just telling you what they're telling me.

Fucking tell them to get fucked, dude.

Swallow your pride,

patch things up, for everyone's sake.

We'll get a green light with Stiggs.

I ain't talked to that motherfucker in four months,

and that's not changing.

You're not being rational.

You keep telling me you're broke.

You need to look at this from a business standpoint.

You know what, Theo?

How about you go fuck yourself?

Alright, motherfucker?

Fuck!

Fucking cocksucking motherfuckers.

Fucking douchebags. I swear to fucking God…

Can't believe

these fucking cocksuckers.

Theo, I'm going to fire that motherfucker, I swear to God.

Fire his fucking ass. Six months fucking wasted.

Ah, fuck.

Ah, fuck.

The fuck? Fucking earthquake.

Yeah, just what I fucking need.

Bring this whole fucking goddamn fucking city down.

Topple over fucking C.A.A.

next to those fucking cocksucking douchebags.

Alright.

Just calm down.

Have some booze and have a good night.

Activate phase two.

Another one?

Two of them in a row. Third time's a charm.

I want that son of a bitch to have a huge, gorgeous cock.

What the fuck?

That's not a fucking earthquake.

Motherfuckers.

What the fuck?

Oh, shit.

Oh, fuck. The fuck?

Oh, fuck.

Oh, fuck.

Fuck.

Hello?

Oh, fuck. Oh.

Oh, shit. The fuck? What the fuck was…?

The fuck is going on? What the fuck is going on?

Oh, fuck.

Help! What the fuck?

What the fuck? Let me down. Let me down!

What the fuck? Let me down.

Fuck.

Fuck. I can't move my fucking legs.

Why can't I move my…?

Oh, God, my head.

Oh, my fucking head.

What the fuck? What the fuck?

Oh. No. No. Oh.

What the fuck is that? Oh.

Oh, fuck!

The fuck?

OK, seriously?

What the fuck?

I've been outside, beating on your door

for ten fucking minutes.

It's locked, but I see your car here.

So, I don't know if I'm just, I don't know,

jumping to conclusions here, or maybe it is what it is

and you're in there with

another fucking chick, huh, Jimmy?

So now is the time to tell you to say goodbye

to these big fucking juicy tits. OK, Jimmy?

Say goodbye to this tight pussy

that you said you loved so much.

You've never fucked a pussy this good.

Yeah. Say goodbye, fucking loser.

Hello?

Hello?

Oh! Goddamn it.

Goddamn it.

Fuck you!

I gotta record this. I gotta put it down somewhere.

Last night I blacked out for 12 hours,

and this wasn't a normal blackout.

It was different, like a big chunk of missing fucking time.

It made me remember this TV special

that I used to watch with Stiggs.

It sent us down this rabbit hole

of being obsessed with alien abductions

for the rest of our lives.

In the special this guy, John Redgrave,

this government official,

he would talk about how he was abducted

night after fucking night.

He had these sharp pains in his jaw and in his head

from some kind of implant or fucking something.

And he would find these orange-glowing

blood chunks all over his fucking place

just like I'm finding in every single room at my place.

He had big chunks of missing fucking time, just like I did.

I need to find out if I was abducted too,

because if I was,

I'm gonna take those fuckers out.

Boom! A flash of light blasted across the room.

And then those little bastards were gone.

Not a trace of them.

Except the blood that was all over my carpet.

They created this circle around me, you know.

Those fucking eyes looking at me.

Then I couldn't move my arms, I couldn't move my legs.

I was frozen.

And then they were gone and I was somewhere else.

I realize there's no other explanation for this.

I gotta fucking talk to Stiggs

because who else is gonna know what I'm talking about?

All these people claim

to have had something implanted into them,

possibly for tracking, possibly for mind control.

Many claim to have been unable to control their own bodies,

as if they're being puppeteered

by a strange force.

Flashing, visions, throbbing pain.

It's all getting fucking worse.

I'm gonna lose my mind.

I've called Stiggs over and over,

left him message after message.

The motherfucker ain't getting back to me.

People wonder why I don't wanna

talk to this motherfucker.

It's a matter of life and fucking death

and Stiggs won't get back to me.

There's nothing Stiggs could do

because the sun's going down

and those little melonhead iguana fucks

are gonna be back soon

and when they come back, I'm gonna be fucking ready.

Once the memories would come back,

you started feeling the repetition of it.

The movement was very odd. It was almost like levitating.

They would glide, in a way.

It's there where they took me.

They bulldozed it a year later.

This is the first tooth they took.

It was replaced by some kind of tracking device.

What you don't hear is that they're incredibly strong.

There's no way I could fight back.

This thing flew towards me. I smashed a bottle

of whiskey over it, and its arm started melting off.

The alcohol is what saved me.

I've been drinking every day since.

It was weird, I've never felt anything like that.

I don't know, man, I just kind of feel sometimes

that maybe they cloned me.

And from that moment on, I've never been the same.

You don't understand. They control your mind.

You're telling me the X-rays didn't show a goddamn thing?

That means it's… It's not mechanical, it's biological.

And that thing is growing inside me. I can feel it.

There is something growing inside of me.

And you gotta cut it out.

You still don't believe me, do you?

You can't stop them.

No matter where I go…

… they will find me.

I gotta get out of here.

Jimmy. You here?

Hello?

- Stiggs? - Oh, Jesus, you're here.

What the fuck? Why'd you leave my fucking door wide open?

Something's trying to get in here.

How the fuck did you even get in?

The spare key.

Yeah? Well, you shouldn't have fucking came, man.

You called me three times, so I figured I'd come by.

So you fucking call me back, man. You don't just barge in!

Did you listen to anything I was telling you?

That's exactly why I fucking came.

So you believe me?

- Obviously not. - Obviously not?

You think I would just make up some wild fucking story

about an alien abduction to get you here?

Why would I do that?

Maybe you wanted some attention.

You think I wanted some fucking attention?

I got alien blood all over this goddamn apartment.

I got an implant in my fucking head.

And now I've got some asshole in my goddamn face!

No, Stiggs, I don't want attention.

I wanted a fucking friend.

I haven't had that in a long time.

Fuck you! That is not fair.

You wanna talk about fair, Stiggs?

How about six fucking months ago

when you decide out of nowhere

that we're not gonna be friends anymore?

We're not gonna talk.

We're not gonna fucking do anything!

20 years of fucking friendship,

20 years of memories,

20 years of fucking movies we've made together

right out the fucking window.

You expect me to be around someone like you

while I'm trying to stay sober.

- Is that it? - You need a drink.

It'll help loosen your dumb ass up.

I don't want a fucking drink.

Is that the gun from… from…?

Satanic Summer. Yeah. What about it?

What the fuck are you doing with it,

wandering around like a madman?

So when those fish-colored fucks show back up

I can jam this barrel into their fucking melon heads

and blow their shit brains all over the fucking wall.

Then assholes like you who think I'm insane,

you can fucking eat your words.

In the meantime, take a hike. There's the fucking door!

What, you gonna shoot it with blanks?

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna fucking use.

I fucking told you to get the fuck out of here.

I'm not fucking leaving now, motherfucker.

Wait, are those real?

Damn fucking right they are.

The fuck are you doing with real shells?

I got a fucking cool gun for a movie

and I wanted to see how it fucking shot.

Get it the fuck out of my face.

You think I'm gonna waste shells on you?

Get fucking real and get the fuck out.

Starting to believe me? Good. You should.

Don't make me fucking tell you again.

Let's say aliens fucking exist.

- They do. - You're telling me you're

going to kill one for the first time

in human history?

I'll be the second one to fucking cut

one's arm off and the second to fucking hurt one

so I don't mind being the first to kill one.

Don't fucking refer to Redgrave again.

The guy is a piece of shit.

Stiggs knows best. Stiggs always knows best!

I know best about this, man. Jesus Christ.

Alright, look. I really gotta get out. How about this?

I'll leave this shit with you

and you set up your Home Alone traps.

- Go fuck yourself. - But I take the gun with me.

Why is that?

If I knew you had fucking live rounds,

- I never would have left it. - Oh, what? Are you scared?

Yeah, you're freaking me out. I'm worried about you, man.

All of a sudden you're worried?

If you were really worried about me,

you would have stopped by when I was on my spiral.

You would have called.

You would have answered a fucking text.

I don't want the Stiggs fucking sermon.

I had a lot of fucking shit going on.

Dinner reservations?

You know what I've had going on?

A bunch of that fucking bullshit.

Fuck this. I'm taking the fucking gun.

Wait. No, motherfucker!

- Oh, fuck! - Give me the fucking gun!

Give me the fucking gun!

Get the fuck off! Get the fuck… Piece of shit!

Fuck! Fuck you!

Don't you put your hands on me, motherfucker.

Fucking Stiggs.

Give me that fucking bag! Give me that fucking bag!

I fucking need it!

Give me my fucking shit back, asshole!

Fuck!

You know what? I'm done.

This is the last fucking time you're gonna see me.

You should have fucking left, Stiggs.

You should have fucking left.

It's too late.

Fuck this.

It's too fucking late, man.

Hey! Open this fucking door right now, man!

Fuck!

- Oh, fuck. - Turn the fucking lights on.

Do I look like I turned the lights off?

What is this shit?

They're fucking here, like I told you.

Get the fuck away from the door.

Get the fuck away from me.

I'm opening this fucking door right now.

I think I just heard something.

I just heard something. Fuck.

Did you just open the door? Is the door open?

What the fuck is this?

- I don't know. - It's fucking brick!

Are you fucking kidding me?

How did you fucking put brick behind this door?

What is this parlor-trick bullshit?

Shh!

Let me the fuck out outta here!

I'm gonna knock you out

if you don't shut the fuck up.

Can you hear that?

What the fuck is that?

Shh! It's in the fucking room.

I'm gonna fucking shoot this thing.

What the fuck?

Stay behind me. I'm moving in. Stay behind me.

Holy shit.

Oh, fuck! What the fuck?

Stiggs! Stiggs!

Where are you, Stiggs? Stiggs?

Oh, fuck! Oh, fuck.

Oh. Oh, shit, Stiggs.

What the fuck?

Come on.

Oh, yeah.

Oh, yeah. How'd that fucking feel?

Where are the rest of you motherfuckers? Huh?

Come on. Come on. Come on!

Stiggs?

Stiggs, where are you, man?

I fucking got one!

I fucking blew its head right off, man!

Fucking slimeball. I'm going to blow your…

Where's your fucking friends now, huh?

Oh, you fucker. Yeah. Not fucking moving, are you, now?

You cocksucker. You Tonka-toy piece of trash.

Oh, fuck.

You fucking melonheads, huh? You wanna fucking take out…

… Stiggs, huh?

You fucking… fucking melonheads.

I swear to fucking God, man.

I'm gonna fucking kill all of you fucks!

Yeah.

You fuckers are dead!

Stiggs!

You fucks think you could take Stiggs, huh?

Fucking anchovy motherfucking assholes.

Huh? Where the fuck are you?

Fucking…

The fuck.

Oh, you fucking cocksuckers.

I've been fucking ready.

I've been fucking waiting.

Alright, motherfuckers, I'm fucking ready.

Fuck. The fuck? Fucking door.

I'll blow this fucking door open, I swear to God.

Fucking slimy little fuckers, alright. You motherfuckers.

Fucking aye. I'll fucking blow this fucking door apart!

Fucking asshole! Oh, shit.

You. Mother. Fucker!

Fuck!

Fucking asshole!

You fucking piece of dog shit!

Cocksucker!

Oh, fuck!

Fucker!

You motherfucker. You motherfucker.

Fuck.

Alright, motherfuckers.

I'm gonna fucking kill all of you.

You fucking assholes, huh? The fuck's that feel?

Any more of you fucking cocksuckers in here?

Fucking blow apart all your goddamn melon heads.

I swear to fucking God.

Oh, fuck me!

Fuck you!

Motherfucker. How the fuck did that feel, huh?

Fucking cocksucking sardine fucking scumbag.

Huh? You fucking scumbag.

Now I'm gonna fucking kill every…

Fuck.

Oh! Goddamn motherfuckers. The fuck!

Fuck. What the fuck?

Oh, shit. Fuck.

I'll fucking kill you!

I'll fucking kill you!

Come on, mother…

You motherfucking scumbag!

Oh, I cannot fucking wait

to kill every single one of you

anchovy sardine-looking fucking scumbags!

Jimmy. Jimmy, open the fucking door, man.

Please, it's Stiggs.

There's something out here with me. It's coming for me.

How the fuck do I know it's you, man?

You've been gone for 30 fucking minutes!

Jimmy, what the fuck? Open the door. Hurry up!

- Fuck! - Get the fuck in, Stiggs.

Why the fuck didn't you kill what was out there?

I didn't have anything to defend myself with.

That slimy fuck, I'm not gonna touch that fucking thing.

Where the fuck were you, Stiggs?

What do you mean, where was I?

The power went out.

Then it came back on and you were gone.

Fucking bullshit. The power went out

and those things came back!

Shut the fuck up! Where the fuck were you?

In this room defending my life.

You think this fucking blood's mine?

You think that motherfucker killed himself?

How many of them did you kill?

I killed three of those motherfuckers, man.

There's a hell of a lot more.

Alright, I'm just…

Goddamn it, I'm telling you what I experienced, OK?

I don't fucking know what happened.

It felt like five seconds.

I fucking told you not to come in,

not to fucking come through that door.

Agh! If we're gonna fucking survive this, Stiggs,

explain to me one thing.

Fucking tell me literally

the last thing you fucking remember.

I don't remember a fucking thing, man.

What's wrong?

My jaw is fucking killing me.

- Your jaw? - Yes, my fucking jaw.

Oh, how goddamn convenient.

The fuck is that supposed to mean?

30 minutes ago I was telling you

about the implant they put in my jaw.

You told me I needed a fucking therapist

and suddenly you come back

saying word for word the exact fucking problem.

That's what's fucking convenient.

I think that they took you. I think they took you

and they did to you what they wanted to do to me,

and they sent you back to try to…

They didn't fucking take me anywhere.

It's me. It's Stiggs.

- Swig this. - Fuck you, I can't do that.

- Swig it. - I can't.

I've been sober for six months.

I don't give a fuck.

What's in that bottle,

that's the only thing that

takes those motherfuckers down.

I don't think right now is the best fucking time

to catch a buzz.

Especially with those fucking things running around.

What, are you gonna fucking kill me?

I've already killed three of you motherfuckers.

What's four?

You got three seconds to drink

what's in that bottle, Stiggs. Three.

Why do you have a fucking machete?

Same reason I got the shotgun. Two!

You really are fucking nuts.

You know that? You're fucking nuts, man.

- One! - Oh, fuck!

Alright, I'll fucking do it. Jesus fucking Christ.

You really are fucking nuts. You know that?

Fuck! You really want me to do this?

Six fucking months down the drain?

Better than a lifetime down the drain.

Alright. Fuck. Fuck.

Drink up. Drink up.

Swallow it, Stiggs, swallow it.

There. Are you fucking happy?

Give me the fucking bottle.

Fuck.

Goddamn it, man.

What are we gonna do?

We're gonna kill all these motherfuckers.

Fuck. Fuck! Fuck.

I cannot fucking die here, man. Not here, not tonight.

Well, then collect yourself and stop fucking whining.

Alright, alright. Shut up.

Alright, how do we even know this is real?

Take a look around, man. Does this fucking idiot look real?

Everything Redgrave said is adding up, man.

They're controlling everything

about this entire fucking situation.

Oh, fuck. What happens if we kill them

and it doesn't go away? What if we're stuck here?

In order to fucking end it, we need to end

the motherfuckers controlling it

and break that line of communication.

Fuck. That's fucking great, man.

Let's fucking break it then.

- Where's your gun? - It's in the hallway.

Alright, alright. Then, uh…

Then what are we gonna fucking do, huh?

I finish this bottle, I break it over that dresser,

like the one inside that cocksucker's head.

I'll help you kill that bottle.

I'm not gonna be responsible

for you getting back on the wagon.

Gimme a fucking break, Jimmy. You got me started.

And… Think about it.

If we go down tonight,

at least we go down having one more round together.

Now I'm seeing the old Stiggs come through. There he is.

If we make it, you gonna be back on the wagon?

We'll talk about it in the morning.

That sounds like a yes.

Calm your fucking self down.

You gonna tell Tori about all this shit?

That I was chugging scotch all night?

About the fucking aliens, you moron!

I don't know.

Yeah, good idea.

Jesus Christ.

I can't believe this is real.

And you're looking at it.

Imagine what Daley's gonna think

when he fucking hears about this.

Our middle-school science teacher?

Fucking asshole.

He swore on his fucking wife and kids

his whole life that these things didn't exist.

- Yeah. Nice call, Daley. - Oh, God.

Well, I mean, you were hounding him

with that alien autopsy fact or fiction tape

as if it was factual documentation.

You know what?

I showed it in the class

and that motherfucker could not explain

how they shot that on 1947 film stock

despite the fact that they shot it in 1993

and the film stock had been

out of circulation for 50 fucking years.

And on top of that,

the godfather of special effects, Stan fucking Winston,

who created the goddamn Terminator,

said it was real.

He had no fucking idea how they made it.

Yeah, well, boy who cried wolf.

What do you want? I like to entertain,

to sensationalize. I like to hyperbolize.

I'm a fucking storyteller. I was honing my chops.

It's worked out pretty well for me so far.

Yeah. I mean, look at this place.

Yeah, it's the Pickford fucking palace.

Lucky for you, it looks like my career is gonna peak at 33.

No. No, no, no. We're gonna get the fuck

out of here and make another fucking movie.

I'm already two steps ahead of you, like I always am.

I have thought that motherfucker out.

The old two-handed pot boiler.

Two best friends, caught in an apartment.

Brick fucking walls, an alien abduction.

The handsome lead,

the nervous douchebag best friend

who doesn't make it through the third act.

If anyone's not gonna make it it's you.

You dropped the gun in the hallway.

The one you ran by as you were

fucking screaming towards my door?

"Jimmy, Jimmy, Jimmy.

You gotta help me. Let me in. Let me in."

Looks like our fucking plans moved up, buddy.

Let's fucking go. Here, finish that fucking bottle.

Let's kill these motherfuckers.

What if there's more than one?

I've killed more than one of 'em.

Not at the same time!

There's two of us, you fucking idiot.

Alright, alright!

Come on, man, finish the fucking bottle!

Oh, fuck yeah.

- Yeah! There we fucking go! - Oh, God!

That is fucking great!

Alright. Let's kill those motherfuckers.

Open the door. I'll hop out

and split his fucking head open.

Alright. On one.

Three, two, one!

- Man, they're gone! - What?

Stiggs?

Oh, fuck.

It's fucking jammed.

Move back, Stiggs. I'm gonna blow this fucking door apart.

OK, OK. I got it, I got it.

Ah, fuck.

Fuck this.

Where's that fucking hunting knife?

Jimmy, where's your fucking hunting knife?

I've seen you show it off a million fucking times.

Are you out of the way?

You're gonna find out every goddamn answer

you've been looking for.

Every single fucking Question you've asked me.

The answers are inside that corpse

sitting in a fridge at the county fucking morgue.

So please, for the love of God, open him up

and find out what the fuck it is that's inside of us.

Find out what the fuck killed my friend.

Find out what the fuck turned him

into something I don't recognize.

Because I'm scared it's gonna fucking open up inside of me.

I'm scared I'm gonna fucking turn into a corpse on a slab.

Do your fucking job and figure out

how to save my goddamn life

because I don't have much time left

and I'm fucking scared.

And I wanna know what the fuck killed Stiggs.

And I wanna know

- what's inside of me! - Stiggs!

Come on, come on, come on, come on.

- Fuck you, you fuck! - Stiggs!

I busted that head open like a piñata,

wide fucking open like it deserved to be.

Those cocksuckers, they're easy to take out.

Fucking… Ah!

Cocksucker!

Fuck!

Fuck.

Fuck you!

You fucking asshole! You fucking cocksucking…

Oh, you like that? Fuck you!

Fuck you!

You like a little whiskey lobotomy, you piece of shit?

Fuck.

Fucker.

Fucking prick.

How's that for a fucking

farewell to arms, you piece of shit?

Fuck.

Jimmy?

You out there?

This fucking thing came alive, man.

I had to stab it to death.

Jimmy?

Stiggs!

Stiggs, would you get the fuck out here?

Jimmy, help me out of here, man!

Fuck!

Jimbo.

Jimbo?

Holy shit. Jimbo, is that you?

Holy shit.

- Holy shit. Jimbo. - What happened, Stiggs?

I thought we lost you.

OK, alright. I got just the thing for you, pal.

One second, one second.

Now, let's see what we got here.

Oh, fuck!

Stiggs, my fucking jaw!

Here we go, buddy. Here we go.

Here we go. Yeah.

Wet your whistle with that.

- Oh! - Jesus Christ, dude.

You don't wanna waste this stuff.

This is important. This shit is useful.

Stiggs, man. Stiggs, what the fuck happened?

Hey, hey. OK, calm down.

You disappeared for, like, three hours, OK?

- Bullshit! Bullshit! - Those fuckers took you.

Bullshit, man! Fucking bullshit!

Alright, fine. Fuck. Where'd you go? Where'd you go, huh?

Where'd you go?

I don't know, man. I don't fucking know.

I do, buddy. I do.

Those fucking scumbags took you,

just like they took me.

Fucking scumbags. I'll tell you what, though.

I got some good news.

I took out six of them, just like you.

We've taken out a dozen.

I haven't seen one of their fucking faces in half an hour.

Except the ones that took you.

I haven't accounted for those yet.

They look different,

so I will be able to recognize them.

You know what, though?

We'll take care of them like the rest of all these fuckers.

Blow them sky high.

The only issue is,

I think that fucking head might be scaring them away.

But you gotta admit, that's pretty fucking cool, right?

Hey, when we get out of here,

I'm gonna slap that slithering fuck

right on the hood of my car

and drive straight the fuck down Sunset

and I'm gonna show them who's boss.

Oh, I forgot something. I want to show you this.

Jimbo, come on. I wanna show you this. Look at this.

I am almost through to the other side.

I mean, that's gotta be…

That's got to be at least six inches.

- I think we're almost there. - My fucking jaw, Stiggs!

I've gotta fucking get this thing out of my head, man!

OK, you need to relax, buddy.

Where's the fucking hammer, man?

This fucking hammer?

No, dude, I'm not giving you

the hammer to rip that thing out.

I'm trying to get through the door.

This thing has to come out of my head.

Give me the hammer. I'm taking this thing out.

No. You said yourself it's way too deep to do that.

If there's even anything in there. I don't think there is.

What, are you fucking dumb?

They put something in both of our heads!

Hey, are you listening to me? It is too deep to rip out.

Where the fuck are the painkillers?

Jesus. They're in the bathroom.

Go to the bathroom.

Like you said, you do enough of them,

you won't feel a fucking thing.

Fuck.

Three fucking hours, Stiggs.

Three fucking hours

those fucking cocksucking

fucking melonheads had me, man.

The fuck are they doing to us, man?

Mm. I don't know, man.

Whatever it is, it ain't nearly as bad

as what we're doing to them.

- Have some of that. - You fucking smoking, Stiggs?

Fuck, yeah, I am, as of two hours ago.

And you were right. That shit helps.

By the way, my arm is fucking screaming right now.

I was wondering if you could help me dig through this wall.

I really could use a break, buddy.

Hey. You alright?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

What is…? What? What are you looking at?

What the fuck is wrong with you?

Ten fucking minutes away from death!

They're gonna fucking kill us, Stiggs!

Why are you so fucking happy?

What are we gonna do about this?

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Calm the fuck down, dude.

It's just scotch, painkillers, coke, a little smoke.

I'm on top of the fucking world.

You need to do the same.

You need to catch the fuck up,

stop bringing the fucking house down.

Chop chop. Come on. Get over here.

- Man. - Grab the hammer.

What the fuck happened in here, man?

Hey, I don't know. I know as much as you do.

I'm talking about when I was gone for three fucking hours!

You were gone for 30 fucking minutes, man,

and a whole hell of a lot fucking happened

in those 30 minutes!

What the fuck happened? Three fucking hours passed!

I fucking told you. I took out a half dozen of those fucks.

I probably fucking hate them more than you now,

so why don't you fucking shut up and get over here.

You did not kill six of these fuckers

and not have a fucking scratch on you.

Sissy fucking Stiggs! You have never won a fight in your life

and suddenly you're killing

six of the strongest fucking aliens

- I've ever fucking seen! - Yeah. Hey.

It doesn't fucking make sense, man!

It makes total fucking sense.

Wanna know how I fucking did it?

It's because I used my fucking brain, man.

I took out six of those fucks

just like you did, because I set them up.

Here. Here. Take this. Let me show you something.

I had the shotgun and I covered myself on all sides.

I sensed this fucker behind me,

so I whipped around and fucking blasted him.

His head, however, stayed intact.

Then these two fucks came at me, tried to tag-team me.

That is when I found your hunting knife

and I split that one from cock to crown.

Oh, yeah, and this one levitated out of the ceiling.

I started trying to drown him in this fucking tank

but he wouldn't fucking die.

So I filled the tank with about

half a bottle of this Red Patch

and just started to…

That took care of him.

Whoa! Then I found your, uh…

I found your extra shells over by the bar.

Made everything so much easier.

Wait, see, the only way to kill them

is to destroy the brain

or remove the head, just like zombies.

But I wanna keep this one alive,

because I think this guy is scaring the other ones away.

It'll keep them off our back while we catch our breath

and try to get through this fucking wall, man.

Hey, I'm pretty parched. Do you want a drink?

You look like you could use a drink. You like, uh…

Uh… The Red Patch, right? Red Patch?

No.

I got whiskey.

I see a hole, man.

What the fuck?

The fuck.

Ha! There it is. The old Red Patch.

Stiggs, what the fuck are these?

Jesus Christ.

Sorry, I totally forgot to tell you.

Those came out of the printer.

I don't know what it is.

This was on the fucking TV

before those scumbags sucked me up

and took me out of here, man.

This shit was playing on the fucking TV,

and these cops were saying

that this was two fucking days from now.

They were asking why I… why I fucking murdered you.

What? Why the fuck would they say that?

What are you talking about? Whoa, whoa! Jimbo. Wait, wait.

We gotta go back to get those fucking pages, Stiggs!

What are you talking about?

They were saying that they found

your body in my apartment.

What? Here, in this apartment?

I'm telling you what I fucking saw!

- You saw the fucking future. - You think I would try

and kill you, Stiggs?

You would try to kill me

if you thought I was one of those fucking things.

I was gone for three fucking hours.

I think you would try to kill me.

Watch this. Watch this. Hold on, hold on.

- See? Looks like I'm alright. - Give me this, motherfucker.

Looks like I'm fine. Let me go grab those…

No, I want you to stay right here in my sight.

- This is fucking bullshit. - No!

Get your fucking hands off me, Stiggs!

They're pitting us against each other. Don't you realize?

The only thing I realize is I'm gonna die

in this shitty apartment tonight

and it's because of you, that's what I fucking realize.

It might not be you who kills me,

it might be one of those fucking things,

but either way, it's your fucking fault.

You're the only fucking reason I'm here, man.

And I'm just going down with the sinking ship again.

The S.S. Jimbo plummeting to the bottom

of the fucking ocean, like always.

I should have fucking cut you

out of my life a long fucking time ago.

Then you never would have fucking called me

or, if you did, I never would've

picked up the fucking phone.

I didn't wanna call you for this exact fucking reason.

Is every person you're friends with

that takes a fucking shot a piece of shit?

You've been harboring this for 20 fucking years!

A fucking shot?

A shot? You know why I'm giving you the Stiggs sermon?

Every fucking time I've come over here

for the last ten years you have been so drunk

off your ass I can barely talk to you.

You know how many people have told me I need

to cut you out of my life?

Every fucking zero that

I cut out of my own fucking life.

Oh, they're zeroes. You can't imagine how many people it is.

They're not all fucking zeroes.

Take a fucking look in the mirror, asshole.

They're your friends who can't stand

looking at you in this way anymore.

- Fuck them. - Look at this fucking place.

It's better off you're sober.

You obviously can't handle yourself.

Oh, fuck you, motherfucker!

Oh, my God, my jaw!

Ah! God.

Oh, my God, my jaw.

Oh, shit. Jesus fucking Christ.

What the fuck?

Fuck.

The fuck.

Fuck. Oh, fuck.

How's that feel fuckface? Huh?

Ah! Fuck you!

Now we're even, bitch.

Come on, you got it.

- We're even. - Yeah.

Fucking son of a whore.

You're killing fucking aliens, can't even fucking hit me.

More like a little fucking bitch. Yeah.

Goddamn it! That is it.

That is fucking it. No more fucking fighting.

You piece of shit.

This night's not over.

You need to get your fucking shit together.

Fucking cunt!

I'm gonna choke that fucking head.

Let's see how you fucking deal with that.

You wanna fucking punch me, bitch?

How's that feel? Huh?

Ah, fuck yeah! Eat fan, you fucking whore!

Eat fan!

Fuck you!

I'm gonna choke that fucking face!

Nice try, bitch.

Come here, fucking…

Take that, you bitch! You fucking asshole!

You fucking bitch!

Fucking cocksucker.

You fucking cocksucker.

- Fuck! Oh, goddamn it! - Get the fuck off me, fucker.

Come here.

Stiggs, don't!

Take that, you motherfucker!

- Take that, you motherfucker! - Stop! Stop! Stop it! Stop!

Come here. Come here.

Don't you fight this, bitch.

Come here. Come here.

Have some more of this.

You like that? Piece of shit.

How's that, Jimmy, huh?

Does it taste good? What'd you say?

Fuck you, you fuck.

Fuck, Stiggs.

What, are you trying to fucking kill me, man?

You punched me first.

Well, I wasn't trying to fucking kill you, man.

Fucking asshole.

You strangled me, you fuck!

Yeah, and actually, you know what?

It felt really fucking good

to strangle that little fucking cunt throat.

- I'll tell you what. - Oh, yeah, real fucking good.

You know what? I think that's what we needed, man.

What? To beat the shit out of each other?

It's been brewing for a long fucking time, man.

But the best part…

… is that it made me realize

that you weren't the little fucking bitch

I thought you were.

Fuck you! You know what?

Sounds like you want me to come back over there

and shove your fucking big schnozz

back in that fucking alien slime

until you fucking drop.

- What's wrong? - My head! Ah, fuck!

Stiggs.

Stiggs!

Stiggs!

Stiggs!

Stiggs!

Stiggs, what the fuck, man?

God fucking damn it! Fucking idiot!

Don't you fucking leave me!

You fucking hear me?

Try and take me, you fucks!

Oh, fuck!

- Jimmy! - Stiggs?

Stiggs!

Fuck, Stiggs.

Oh, fuck.

What the fuck is wrong with you, man?

Stiggs. You fucking hear me?

- Oh, Jesus! - It hurts so much.

It fucking hurts so much, man.

Oh, fuck.

Please, you gotta help me take it out.

Fuck, man.

Goddamn it, just get me a fucking knife

and I'll take it out.

Oh, God.

Oh, God.

It hurts so fucking bad, Jimmy.

Oh, God. I gotta cut it open.

Oh, fuck.

Oh, goddamn. Ah!

Oh, fuck.

Jimmy. Help me.

It hurts. It…

It's coming out. It's coming out.

Jimmy, help me. It's com…

Oh, Stiggs.

Jesus fucking Christ, man. What the fuck?

Stiggs.

Stiggs? Stiggs, wake the fuck up, man!

Wake the fuck up!

Wake the fuck up. Is this another one

of your fucking stupid sick jokes?

You fucking prick! You fucking idiot!

Stiggs! Stiggs!

Oh, what the fuck, man? What the fuck?

I swear to God I'm gonna fucking kill

every single fucking one for you, man.

I'm gonna tear this fucking thing out of my face too.

Oh, fuck!

Oh! My fucking head!

Oh, fuck.

Is that it? Hm?

You wanna fucking kill Stiggs

and then you wanna fucking disappear?

You motherfuckers. You motherfuckers.

You motherfuckers.

Not even gonna give him a fucking chance, huh?

Why don't you fucking take me, huh?

If you're gonna fucking take him, take me.

You fucking cocksuckers.

Oh, fuck.

You fucking cocksuckers, huh?

You wanna fucking come back?

What the fuck, man? You were dead.

Hi, Jimbo.

It's better this way.

- No, it's fucking not. - Now open wide.

Get away from me!

Get away from me, you fucking piece of shit!

Jesus fucking Christ. I'm going to fucking kill you.

You're fucking dead.

I'm gonna fucking kill you, you fucking cunt!

You fucking piece of dog shit!

Stiggs, what the fuck is wrong with you?

It's better this way.

I told you not to fucking come in this apartment, Stiggs!

I told you not to fucking come in!

Eat your own kind, you piece of dog shit!

Fuck, Stiggs.

Oh, fuck, Stiggs. Fuck.

Jimmy, help me.

Jimmy!

Fuck.

I gotta get this the fuck out.

Oh! Oh, God!

Oh, fuck you!

You fucking cocksucking alien fucks!

Get the fuck out of me!

No! Oh, no!

Fuck.

T-minus 30 minutes until

the dissection of human subject 7B.

Subject 5K is almost complete.

Oh, fuck.

What the…? Oh, fuck.

What the fuck?

What the f…?

Oh, fuck, no.

No, no. No.

Oh, no. You fucking slimeballs.

Holy fuck.

I'm gonna get the fuck out of here and kill them.

Fucking whiny douchebags. Are you fucking ready, huh?

Come on.

Come on.

Come on, you motherfuckers!

Alert. There is a breach in the central hallway.

What the fuck?

All personnel please respond.

Oh. Jesus fucking Christ. Jesus…

Oh, shit! Oh, shit. Oh, fuck! Fuck, fuck.

Fuck.

What the fuck?

Oh, Jesus fucking Christ!

Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck. Oh.

Subject has been contained in the operating room.

- Please proceed as normal. - Oh, fuck.

We are 30 minutes away from our destination.

Oh, shit. Fuck.

Oh, you fucking…

Fuck you!

Come on, fucker! Come on!

Come on!

Fuck you, you fuck!

Alert.

What the fuck did they do to you, Stiggs?

What the fuck did they do to you?

I'm not going to let them fucking do it to me.

Not going to let them fucking do it to me.

I'm gonna get the fuck out of here.

Oh, fuck!

Oh. Oh, no. Fuck. Oh, fuck. Those motherfuckers.

Alright.

Oh, fuck. Fuck.

Fuck. Fuck. Oh, shit. Shit.

Shit. Shit. Fucking God.

Oh, God. Fuck. Fuck.

Oh, fuck!

Alright. Alright. Alright.

Come on, you motherfucker.

Come on, you motherfuckers.

Come on.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Oh, fuck!

Come on, you motherfucker. Come on.

You fucking douchebag. Yeah, yeah.

Alert. Docking is set to begin.

All remaining personnel engage your oxygen tanks.

Oh, fuck.

Repeat: docking is set to begin.

Oh, God. Oh, fuck.

We will complete docking in T-minus three seconds.

Oh. The fuck. The fuck.

Oh, you motherfuckers really think you can fuck with me?

Think you can fuck with me? Come on.

Motherf…

Oh.

Trying to fucking gas me out, huh?

Stiggs? Stiggs? Huh?

I know that's not fucking Stiggs.

You fucking pieces of shit. Come on.

Wait, what…? What the fuck?

What?

Oh.

Come on. No. No.

No. No.

This isn't real.

Fuck, fuck, fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!

Alright. Alright. Alright.

Alright.

Alright, you motherfuckers. Yeah.

You pussies gonna show your face this time?

You gonna show your fucking face, huh?

Think you can fool me?

Huh? What the fuck was that?

What the fuck?

Huh?

What the…? What the…?

Oh, fuck! Fuck!

Come on, motherfucker!

Come on! Come on!

You fuck.

Oh, fuck!

Oh, Jesus Christ!

Come on. Come on, come on, come on.

Motherfucker. Oh, fuck you! Come on!

Come on, you piece of shit. Oh, fuck!

Oh, God, fuck this!

Oh, fuck. Oh, f…

Oh, God. Here we fucking go.

Alright. Alright. Alright. Alright.

I'm gonna get you this time,

you fucking cocksuckers. Come on.

- I'm gonna get you this time. - Impact imminent.

Shuttles evacuate in three minutes.

Repeat: shuttles evacuate in three minutes.

Come on. Come on. Come on.

Yeah. You like that fucking saw, huh?

Come on.

You didn't fucking like that, did you?

Fuck you!

You cocksucking alien fuck!

Oh, fuck. Oh.

Oh, shit. Shit. Shit.

Shuttles evacuating in two and a half minutes.

Oh, fuck. What the fuck?

Repeat: two and a half minutes.

Impact is imminent.

Oh, fuck, my hand. Fuck. What the fuck? Oh, no. No.

No, you don't try to get me, huh? Oh, fuck. Huh?

You fuckers aren't getting me this time.

Fuck! Oh, fuck!

Oh, shit! Oh!

Yeah! Get the fuck away from me!

Get the fuck away from me, douchebag!

Yeah!

Yeah, motherfuckers. Huh?

What's the matter, huh?

You motherfuckers won't get me, I swear.

Oh, fuck. No. Oh, no.

No. No. No.

I'll fucking take this too, huh? You fucking assholes.

Huh?

Fuck. Fuck!

Oh, come on, come on.

You fucker.

Oh, shit!

Oh, God! Oh, fuck!

Oh, you didn't get me that time, huh?

I'll fucking cut off every fucking limb!

You fucking assholes aren't gonna fucking get me!

Shuttles evacuating in one minute.

I'll fucking do it myself.

- Repeat: one minute. - I'll fucking do it myself.

Impact is imminent.

You motherfuckers won't stop? Well, neither will I.

Neither will I.

I'm gonna kill you too.

Oh. No.

Oh. Oh. No.

Oh, fuck no.

Shuttles evacuating in 30 seconds.

My fucking head.

Motherfuckers are trying to get in my brain. Fuck you.

Oh, I'll take care of that one too.

I'll fucking take care of you too.

You motherfuckers.

Let's see you fucking like this blade.

Impact in ten seconds.

Ten, nine,

eight, seven, six,

five, four,

three, two…