Original subtitles

SICILY EXPRESS

NORTH

SANTA SERENITA CLINIC

Sorry, guys, but it's an emergency.

And what? You couldn't tell him we're not around?

Well, he's Sicilian, he only trusts the two of you.

Why couldn't I have been Venetian?

This is torture, I miss the Sicilian air! Son...

Dad, if you wanna get back to Sicily, take your medicine.

Enough medicine.

What's the problem today, Mr. Giacalone? What is it now, huh?

As usual, he has some sort of problem with his IV drip.

No! Your northern medicine isn't going anywhere near my veins!

Not a chance, understood?

-Relax, Mr. Giacalone. -Step back, I'll handle this.

All right, Giacalone, look what I brought in for you.

A special IV drip from our native land of Sicily.

If you listen closely, you can hear the sound of the sea!

Is that true?

-Of course! -Just for you!

And, get this, we also have special antibiotics.

-From Taormina. -Taormina.

You love Taormina. Open it up, you can almost taste the scent of Jasmine.

-Only the best for you, sir! -And these were sealed?

Oh, very sealed, sir.

-Don't worry, very sealed. Right, see? -Mm!

Because, you know the air here, the air is frankly unbearable.

It's killing me, Milan air is going to be the death of me!

Is it the IV that's gonna kill you or the Milan air?

Or just anything not Sicilian? Huh?

I'm telling you, the Milan air spoils everything it touches.

Hell, even cannoli.

-Even cannoli? -I'm telling you.

You know they make cannoli here in Milan, huh?

Yeah, they even have the ricotta sent from Sicily.

When the ricotta gets here,

it gets exposed to the Milan air and is immediately ruined.

And the cannoli are spoiled!

Ah, but why are they keeping all this stuff from us, huh?

It's all a big secret?

-A big mystery, isn't it? -Don't worry.

We're actually about to head to Sicily. We'll bring you back good cannoli.

Oh! A cannoli?

-That's nice! -I got to admit, it's all true!

Down there, it's just different.

The sea air is magic!

Oh, the magic!

-Now he'll be impossible to deal with! -What's the matter with you?

-Look, I wasn't trying to... -Hey there. Good morning, everyone.

Mr. Giacolone. I guess it's true, Southerners just won't die.

If all Southerners died, you'd have to close all the hospitals.

True! In fact, you're the ones keeping us in business.

You're nuts if you think I'm being treated by a Milanese!

A Milanese? Sir, I'm from Cefalù!

-I already told you. -See? That's right near your home base!

-Best air in the world, after Sicily! -My home base, true!

We've gotta go. Bye, Giulio, see you all in two days.

-Thanks a lot! -Get the cannoli!

Cannoli coming right up! Bye!

In the meantime, we have a nice IV with a hint of Rosolio!

-Hear that, Dad? Sounds good! -Really, Rosolio?

Where you going?!

Just be careful.

-We will! -Yeah, yeah. We got it!

Hey!

Where exactly are you guys off to?!

-Hm... -Uh...

Just wandering off with a suitcase each?!

What are you talking about?

Those ones you're holding!

Oh, these two.

You need to tell me what's in the suitcases!

It's just our lunch.

Just your lunch?

Uh-huh.

One, two, both of you! Get to my office!

And then we'll discuss today's lunch.

All right, I think we may have an issue with the structure that we have here,

that's built on a foundation of perseverance,

absolute dedication, and punctuality.

Is that clear to you?

It's very clear, director. We're just still getting used to it,

'cause we transferred from the south to north...

And, you know, at our age, on top of that, we've also got our families down south.

Oh, poor you!

Another southerner feeling sorry for themselves.

Director, you should understand, you're from the south.

No, stop. Don't even try to go there.

Sicily's in the south. And Calabria's in the north.

Sir, we really need to get back today.

Our wives are opening a business.

It'll be a charming little farm-to-table shop, and we gotta support.

"A farm-to-table shop! Please, director!"

Blah, blah! No! Listen to your horrible, awful mumbling!

-It disgusts me! It's vile! -He hates our mumbling now?

-So annoying! -He's got a point.

You all drive me nuts!

All of you southerners!

My blood pressure's elevated because of you!

Oh, well.

Director, you're right.

We try our best to be as articulate and well-spoken as you,

but it just doesn't come as naturally to us.

It's just really difficult because whenever we go back home,

we fall back into those bad habits, you know?

-Yeah. -Listen, I understand.

I was a big mumbler when I first came north.

It's hard to shake being a true Calabrese.

-Oh, sure. -Oh, you're Calabrese?

Mm-hm.

-Ah. -Hm.

Anyways, back to why I called you both here in the first place.

I was just told that you two bozos, and I do mean bozos,

have asked for a two-day leave.

-Just two. -Two. It's nothing.

Seems reasonable.

And difficult for me to revoke the request at the last minute.

Well-thought-out. I mean, very good.

Yeah, sorry we didn't give you more of a heads-up.

But you're not going.

-How come? -No!

I'm the boss. Ha, yeah!

-But, director... -No!

And tomorrow, you'll be here on time! Punctuality!

And if you're not, you won't get Mr. Nice Director,

I'll do what I should've done and fire both of you!

That clear enough for you two?

Very clear.

-Huh?! -Very clear!

Ah!

-Okay. Uh, so we'll, uh, see you later. -Good day.

-I'm really sorry, guys. -Ah. Yeah, what are you gonna do?

-Bye. -See you.

Bye.

Wow! Lucky them, off to the sea air.

Again with the air? You and the sea air! God!

Bye!

Hey, hold it!

You two better bring back those Sicilian cannoli!

-Remember you promised! -We got it!

-Don't forget it! -We got it!

Go, go, go, go, go, go!

-Hey! -Hey, Gio.

There's no point rushing. There's some kind of mechanical problem.

-They're not sure we can fly. -Come on. Are you serious?

-Can't they put us on another plane? -They're all full.

We have to hope...

-What's that? -Excuse me.

-But... -No, please go right ahead.

Hey, hon. Yeah. No, they haven't told us anything yet.

-I know. -Hey, you guys.

-Hey, Fe. -Let's hope they let us fly today.

-That's what Gio was saying... -My wife...

Sorry, one second.

Sweetheart. Maria, I wish, but they haven't told us anything yet.

-Mario! -Hey!

This is unbelievable.

If I knew there were delays, I wouldn't have bothered...

-Awful. -We were saying it's ridicu...

Sorry, I think that's me. Hold on.

-Him too. -There he goes.

-My God, you can't talk anymore. -I know.

-Can't have a real conversation. -No one wants to talk in person.

-They're back. -Okay.

-Talk on the phone or talk to us, okay? -Yeah, come on.

So, what do you think? Any shot they let us fly today?

How are we supposed to know? We...

-Oh! Sorry. Oops, gotta take this. -Hold on, sorry! One second.

Hey, Dad!

Hey, Aurora! Aren't you supposed to be in school?

I'm helping Mom set up the new store.

You need to hurry up, Dad. We'll have to put up the tree soon.

Don't worry, honey, I'll be there. Can you put Mommy on the phone?

Salvo, don't do this to me.

ZERO KILOMETER

We already postponed the opening so you could be here. Come on!

What am I supposed to do?

There's a problem with the engine, I'm stuck here. I'm sure we'll leave soon.

Honestly, I'm not sure when or if we're getting out of here.

What about the opening?!

Can't you get on a different flight or drive or something?

You know I wanna be there.

Maybe I should try to fix the plane engine.

Come on, Salvo, stop joking around!

Say bye to your dad. Goodbye!

Bye, Daddy! Oh, is it okay if we hang chocolates on the tree too?

Of course, we can do whatever we want, sweetie.

Now go to school.

Okay, I love you too! Bye!

No major surprise, Salvo said their flight's been delayed.

I know. Val just told us too.

Look, I gotta take Aurora to school, we're already late.

-I'll be right back to help. -I'll start, don't worry.

-See you soon. -Relax! It'll all work out!

It's a fact.

We from the north know how to get things done! Hm?

This is outrageous!

We've been waiting here since 8:00 a.m., and it's 3:00 in the afternoon!

Yeah! I had to get special permission from the school to catch this flight!

My apologies, I wish I could help, but none of this is up to me.

No. Everyone, she's right, this isn't her fault.

But you could've transferred us to another flight or something.

All our other flights are packed.

Yeah, the others are packed.

I manage 40 employees, I've gotta be back tomorrow!

-You can't really blame that on the lady! -Enough of that!

We regret to inform all passengers that, due to a sudden eruption of Mount Etna,

we can no longer safely land at Catania Airport.

-We're being redirected to Palermo. -Hold on, Palermo?

A bus will transport you from Palermo to Catania.

No!

Not the highway from Palermo to Catania, no!

At that point, it would be easier to parachute us to Malta!

-Right! Maybe we should! -Yeah! Well said!

Yes, parachute us! We still have free will! Let's go!

Yeah!

ETERNAL CONSTRUCTION ZONE

Val, what is taking so long? Are you close?

Map says only 80 kilometers to go,

so roughly another three hours and we're there.

So we'll have to meet you at the store, because we can't delay the opening.

-Okay, bye. -See you there, bye.

You know, at least the highways seem to have improved.

-All right, see you guys next time. -See you.

Okay, guys, I'm sure I'll see you both at the airport tomorrow.

-See you, Giovanna. -Bye.

Finally, you're home.

For far too many years now,

politicians have made promises but never delivered on them.

Think of those living in the south of our country,

they must have the same rights as those in the north.

The right to decent roads, transportation, and most importantly healthcare.

It's for those reasons that I, as your prime minister,

but above all as a fellow human being,

am committed to solving that inequity. So I ask you all...

Join me in finally uniting Italy.

Now is the perfect time. We can't afford to lose another moment.

Nor will we on my watch.

As always, thank you.

All right, are we off? Oh, thank God.

Congratulations, prime minister.

-For what? -Your speech was wonderful.

That part about unity was amazing.

Uh, for me, sir, as a Sicilian, really touching. Thank you.

What's wrong with you?

You believed that?

Ah, come on!

It took us decades to create division in Italy,

and now you want unity? Huh?

Go on, I'm parched, get me a glass of water. Sparkling!

Congratulations!

Cheers!

To our charming little farm-to-table shop.

Hello!

-Hey! Good evening! -Hello!

-Enjoy! -Get in there! It's fantastic!

-Hello! -Ah!

-So sorry we're late! -It's your dad! Go say hi!

-Aurora! -Daddy!

Oh, look, finally. About time!

-Sorry. -I'm so glad you're here, I missed you!

-Hey, Val. That must've been exhausting. -A bit.

Everyone! Can I please have all your attention for a moment?

Look at this, huh? Huh?

Now that Valentino finally showed up, we can start.

Come on, Dad!

Hm.

I'd just like to propose a toast to this fabulous little shop,

which celebrates our locally grown produce.

Just have a look at all this stuff. Huh?

Huh?! I think you can all agree

that this proves that fortune doesn't only exist in Milan.

You can also get it done right here.

Especially when you have a sweet little girl at home,

and a father-in-law with a successful company,

and the means to ensure that you'll stay afloat.

Dad's being such a joker!

Of course, he's just joking around!

What more can anyone ask for in life

than to watch people pursue what they love?

Cheers to the shop!

Cheers to the shop!

Here's to success!

And, of course, to farm-to-table!

-You look so beautiful. Gorgeous. -Oh, stop it you!

I'm sorry, I can't. You're stunning.

-Gugu! -Cla!

Hi!

This place is great. You've got a hit on your hands.

-Trust me, I know. -Let's hope so!

I'm sure I'll be seeing you tomorrow night at the club for bingo, right?

Well, Salvo just came in from Milan and he's only here for two days.

So we're gonna try and make the most of those.

Well, the first day for sure!

You'll probably be so sick of me by day two.

But honestly, if you wanna go to bingo, it's okay. Up to you, hm?

Wow, you need his permission now? Things have changed since we dated, huh?

Stop, Gugu!

Salvo, I'm just joking.

I know I left her in very good hands with you.

Actually, she left you last I checked.

Oh, Gugu.

All right, I should probably take off.

Congratulations! Bye, ladies. Enjoy the rest of the night!

-Good night! -See you soon. Good night! Bye!

-Good night! -Good night, thanks for stopping by!

-What a nice guy, huh? And always around. -Yeah. He is.

Never misses an opportunity to support you.

-Yeah. -Almost too much.

Okay, where should we put this one? Right there, huh?

No, Dad! It can't go there! There's already one just like it there.

Aurora, no, stop! Don't mind him, okay?

In Milan they don't know the first thing about how to decorate trees.

Mom, Dad, can you give me a hand in the kitchen?

Huh? Give you a hand? With what?

Just follow me and I'll show you.

For the love of God, tonight is supposed to be a celebration.

Valentino's only here for two days.

Please stop bringing up the same crap about the long distance.

-Understood. Mm. -Mm.

Dad, you know I wish Valentino didn't work in Milan too.

It would be easier if he worked with you.

-But he needs to figure it out on his own. -Mm.

Sorry, but a man who abandons his wife and daughter to go work in the north,

when he knows there's opportunity here, is just...

Mom, Dad worked far away from us for 20 years.

He did, but in Tunis. That's south!

-Hm? -Okay, whatever.

But we agree, no more talking about working long distance, you got it?

Yes, yes, fine, fine. Now what do you need help with?

Give me a hand washing the cherry tomatoes.

But... your water's not working.

-Oh, yeah, today's Wednesday. -What does that mean?

The city's starting to ration the water. Use one of the bottles.

What, because there's no running water here,

he goes and runs off to Milan?!

Hm! Disgusting!

Now, this one right there.

And I think this should be the last one, huh?

By the way, did you remember to write your letter to Santa Claus?

Mm... No, I'm drawing him a picture instead. Do you think that still counts?

-Let me see it. -Look!

Oh, wow!

-Aurora, do you mind if I borrow your dad? -Sure. Sorry, sweetie, I'll be right back.

-Okay? Just give me one minute. -This won't take long.

Sorry to interrupt,

but I have an update about our flight to Milan tomorrow.

-Oh God, tell me it got cheaper. -Maybe in our wildest fantasies.

No, now it's up to 737 euros per person.

Jeez!

-I may have found a cheaper route for us. -Yeah?

Maybe we go to Catania-Patras, Patras-Tunisia, Tunisia-Krakow,

Krakow-Milan.

29 euros per leg, for a grand total of 116 euros.

Well, that sounds perfect!

-It's incredible, it's fabulous. -Great, that settles it.

So the only issue is it takes 12 hours, and we'd have to leave right now.

Are you crazy? We just got back.

-The table's set, we can't just walk out. -I know, we're screwed.

Dad, come back here!

We only have two days together, stop wasting time with Uncle Salvo!

No, sweetie, don't worry, I'll be with you soon.

Don't forget you have to tell everybody that we're leaving tomorrow.

-Have I ever let you down? -Well...

I'm just trying to find the right moment to do it.

-Uh-huh. -Huh?

-It's ready! -Here they come.

Let's eat, huh?!

-Yes, let's do it! I'm starving. -Mmm! Smells amazing.

May we have a moment of your attention? The grand unveiling is finally upon us.

Myself and Aurora are very proud to present the tree to you all.

Ready? Here we go!

-Hey! -Beautiful! Well done!

Oh! That looks great!

-You did a great job, sweetheart! -Beautiful tree!

All right, everyone, let's have a seat. Come.

This all looks delicious!

I say we have a little toast to Maria's and I's shop launch, huh?

-Yes! -Cheers!

-Cheers to both of you. -Congrats.

-To the ladies!! -Best of luck!

As a true blood Milanese, you all know I traveled quite a ways to get here.

But I'd do it all again in the name of love.

-Oh, sweetie. -Very sweet.

Then I guess we should all say thank you to Uncle Salvo!

No, sweetie, I didn't move here for Uncle Salvo.

-It was for Gugu. -For Gugu.

But that didn't stop your sly Uncle Salvo from laying on the charm

even though I was with Gugu.

But I said, "Oh, why not?"

Since I was young, and sensed there could be something with this guy...

Okay, I think that's enough.

Cheers to farm and table dining! Cheers to you two!

-Yes, thank you, everyone. -We're so proud of the two of you.

-I'll cut this, huh? -Please!

-Yes! -Carmelo, can you pass me the water?

You can't just get it yourself?

I can't reach it, it's too far! Please.

Oh, the water's too far for you, is it?

Would you look at that, distance can be dealt with.

You just have to be willing to put in the work.

Honey, you know my dad's just trying to be funny.

Maybe in Milan they don't have a good sense of humor.

-Mom, stop it! -Oh, boy.

Or maybe Carmelo is once again alluding to the fact

that I had no interest in working for his company.

No, no!

Oh, my husband is not making any allusions.

Come on, do you really wanna see me canning tuna all day,

when I went to school for years to be in medicine?

Hey, maybe you can resuscitate the tuna.

Yeah, resuscitating tuna!

But... I'm sorry, Val, I think he was just trying to say

he'd love for you to be closer to Maria Teresa and Aurora.

Understandable. I'd love for Claudia to be closer to my work up in Milan.

-But, you know... -What are you trying to say, Salvo?

I guess I just don't understand what that has to do with anything.

I can't come. I have the shop! And I'm finally getting adjusted.

Adjusted to all the unique smells, and all your fried food.

-I love fried food! -I'm not moving. I love my home.

Yeah, it is!

Of course you wouldn't wanna go back there.

I mean, Sicily's not like Milan. It's always raining, there's all that fog,

and, oh my God, the people!

They're all so cold!

They don't even smile at you!

I say with all due respect to Claudia, who's from there.

And shall we talk about how much better our sun is?

-It's the same sun. -You know what he meant.

Oh my God, no one is saying anything against Milan!

-What? There's only one! -All right, let's not...

Can we please not argue about this and enjoy our dinner?

We're gonna be leaving tomorrow. I'd hate to spend the whole time arguing.

Did he say tomorrow?

Didn't you tell us you were staying for two days?

Valentino, why didn't you tell me the truth?

Because before we got here, we agreed he'd do it.

You know, 'cause he'd know the right moment.

Ah, well please tell us why this was the moment you chose.

No, listen, I was gonna tell you, but then everyone was bickering...

Ah! Okay, so that's why you wanted me to go to bingo night with Gugu.

Because you knew you guys would already be out of town.

-What? No, come on! -Oh!

-It all makes sense. -I wanted to call her...

But, no, you never called!

-That's enough. It's too much. -I wanted to call you.

Everything was up in the air.

Valentino, you're on thin ice.

Dear Santa Claus, I know it doesn't always seem like it,

but my family really loves each other.

The only reason everyone's fighting is because of the long distance.

So the only thing I want for Christmas is for you to help solve that problem.

So all the fighting will stop,

and I'll get to see my dad and Uncle Salvo more often.

I just want Christmas to be special for the whole family.

I love them all. Thanks, Santa.

Sweetheart, are you still mad at me?

-Please, no more secrets, Val? -I promise you.

There we go!

-So you're not mad at me anymore? -Mm... Well, no.

Silly choices have always been a part of our relationship.

Good night, Salvo.

-Bye, Salvo. -Good night, Carmelo.

Good night, Amanda. Nice seeing you.

Well, good night.

Honey, you ready to go?

Yeah, let me just quickly help Valentino take out the garbage and I'll head back.

-I'll meet you at the house. -Be there soon.

Great. Good night, Val. Thanks for a great evening.

Don't mention it. Thanks for actually saying good night.

-Bye. -Bye.

You know, this is all our stupid director's fault.

He's like all southerners who moved north. Now he hates the south.

What are you talking about?

We live up north too now, and we don't hate the south.

That's just because we haven't been back long enough, give it some time.

It's already slowly starting.

Recently, whenever I've heard a southerner speak, I get irritated.

-It scares me, I don't like it. Wait... -You're strange, you know that?

-See? You mumbled "you're strange," right? -Yeah.

-Suddenly that gets on my nerves. -What are you talking about?

I'm just saying you can mumble in Sicily and no one bothers you, right?

But you mumble in Milan, and all of a sudden I'm really annoyed!

-Annoyed with what? -With you, I'm saying we gotta be careful!

-My mumbling's a problem? -I've changed.

-The north changed me, it's the truth. -Yeah, you've changed a lot.

Oh, hey, look at this.

They just said our flight tomorrow has been delayed by two hours.

-Great. See? -It's not my fault.

Not only did changing our flight cost an arm and leg,

but now it's delayed too? They have no respect for us.

-Yeah. -No respect at all.

-I shouldn't be surprised. -We'll just have to deal with it.

Right, as always.

Who's calling at this hour?

Where's my cell phone?

You just used it to show me the e-mail.

No!

What, did you just throw it out?

Oh God, it stinks in here! Come on, you gotta lift me up.

Careful!

-Don't let go of me. -Yes, I got you, don't worry!

Come on, get the phone, I gotta go home.

Hurry up, do you see it?

Yes, hello?

No, thanks. I'm good with my phone provider,

thank you.

Oh, then why're you calling? I told you, I'm happy with the service!

Bugging me at this hour?

What the hell?

Where in the world did he go?

You in here?

Hello?

Are you hiding or something?

What the hell, man?

Um, hello?

Val, where are you?

Just stepped out.

SICILY EXPRESS