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June 14th, 1936.
I'm in a terrible situation.
I'll do all I can to make my husband happy, and stay by his side until he's
cured. But he won't even touch me, and my body starts to betray me.
Should desire guide my life?
I had such high moral principles.
I have to finally be honest with myself, and understand if I stood by them.
Everything started on my 18th birthday at university.
My cousin Alice prepared a surprise for me. Happy birthday to you. Thank
you.
18, can you believe it? My baby cousin.
Her baby?
Not anymore.
She's a woman.
I don't feel any different.
Today feels just the same as yesterday.
Yes, but 17 is the last door to childhood. 18 is the door of delight.
she's ready to experience all of life's pleasures.
Justine, you're always on fire.
There you go. You don't dare put into practice what you're dreaming about
night. Hey, it's my cousin's birthday, and I think her present's arriving.
What is it? Come on, tell me.
Look, there they are.
Who is it?
Oh, come on. You didn't dare.
I know. We only invited them for your birthday.
And after all, you have been dreaming about them for two weeks. Oh, Alexander
so gorgeous.
Oh, I prefer Oscar.
He's got really sexy eyes.
Oh, what about Alexander? How could you resist that firm bottom?
Where did you see his firm bottom?
Well, I haven't seen it yet, but I will before tonight.
I felt Oscar stood apart from the rest.
I went with him, leaving my friends to their game.
I'm glad you came here with me.
Do you think they did it?
I don't know.
I don't understand these silly games.
So you wouldn't do something like that?
Certainly not.
Shall we go for a walk?
Yeah.
And they did it.
Justine read the bet with Alexander, who of course fell for it completely.
God, he's a dick.
Yeah, he'll do.
Sex and romance were my friend's only preoccupations at the time.
Anna doesn't know what she's missing.
But I must admit I wasn't much different.
And neither was Oscar.
But Anna, what's the harm in a kiss?
It's not that.
It's what it leads to.
Men are just like children.
You give them one sweet and they want the whole shop.
They have to have it all.
Not all.
Just a taste of things to come.
I left on summer break the next day, without having seen Oscar again.
But I remembered my first sexual encounter with guilt.
We had been taught that we had to remain chaste.
I didn't realize that I was in love.
I was ashamed at having let myself be carried away with the strength of my
pleasure.
A feeling of fear and disgust grew in me over the summer, towards Oscar, and
towards men in general.
Did you have a good holiday?
Yeah, it was okay.
What did you get up to? I went down to Brighton, to my dad, onto the beach.
Very much, really.
Anything special?
Nothing fun?
Well, a few drives.
I don't love him anymore.
He can't be free. He's too emotional for me.
He's there.
He was so cute, you wouldn't believe it. You know, French boys.
Although, I prefer Italian.
You prefer Italian?
Yeah. I promise you, I went to a party every day.
Students, please be quiet.
Silence, I said.
Who are you happy to tell me?
Of course I'm happy to see you.
I thought about you for the whole summer.
I thought about you sometimes too.
Did you get my letters?
Yeah, of course I got your letters.
Did you like them?
Yeah, I liked them.
Look, let's talk about something else.
You don't look very happy.
You don't look particularly relaxed either.
And why are you being so cold with me?
I'm sorry.
Let's not fight.
I'm really glad to be back here with all of you.
With all of you?
What do you mean, with all of you?
Well, with all of you.
You know, with all of you.
Friends. With all of you, my friends?
Like I'm just one of the crowd?
Like I'm nothing special to you?
I mean, all that time we spent together, does that not mean anything to you?
Leave me alone.
Anna, what's wrong? Miss McConnell, where do you think you're going?
I wandered alone for hours.
I was confused by so many conflicting emotions.
I couldn't admit to myself that I might be in love with Oscar.
Turn around.
Miss McCombs.
Late again.
Go to the bar.
Now, let's take the next exercise.
Bend back.
Arm above the head.
Stretch to the cove.
Straighten up.
and bend back arms above the head stretch the toes
up and lean back arm above the head
stretch to the toe up and lean back
arm above the head stretch to the toe up
and lean back
Arms above the head.
All right, girls.
You may go.
Cheer up, Hannah.
I've learnt something terribly exciting from my grandmother.
Really? And you won't believe it.
What?
Please tell us.
A virile man gives off a certain scent.
It oozes all over his body.
Oh, it doesn't wash.
We didn't need your grandmother to tell us that.
No, no, that's not what I meant.
There's something invisible.
A magic scent.
Something that draws you to an essential man.
So you instinctively know when he wants you?
That's what puts you in charge.
How?
Well... When you know he wants you, you can play with him. Like
he's just a puppet on a string.
You'd better stop playing with puppets and go for the real thing.
Shut up.
Oh, she's been in a romantic mood ever since her birthday.
What's wrong, Anna? Don't you like men?
Maybe not.
Go.
Oh, you two little bitches.
I felt sad and desperate.
I found comfort in Terenza's arms.
Weeks passed, and I held good.
When I saw Oscar with another girl, my confidence vanished, and I realized that
I loved him.
He was bold and ambitious.
Any means would be good to get him back.
I'm not.
Oh, just a minute. I'm coming.
I have to admit that I used Cynthia.
Was I really conscious of it at the time?
In any case, I liked her, and I did enjoy those moments we spent together.
I told Alice how crazy I was about Oscar, and she reminded me of my vow to
remain a virgin until my wedding day.
In the meantime, the trick had worked.
Oscar had taken the bait and was following me again.
Are you
sure?
I want to see him.
Look, you go ahead.
I'll catch up with you next time.
Heart's beating.
So it's true that love makes the heart beat faster.
Idiot.
Anna, why do you hate me?
I don't hate you.
I'm sorry I said that.
I was upset.
And I felt insecure.
I don't want to be tied to anyone.
This modern twaddle about the independence of women and all these
ideas.
It's just a fashion.
It has no future.
Anna, the point is you don't trust me.
I don't trust men.
You don't know men yet.
Anna, I love you. I'd do anything for you.
Anything?
Yes, anything.
Just have to ask.
Well, Oscar, I've never seen a man, you
know, I want to see.
So come on.
Show me.
Stay.
Go to the tractor at the same time.
Oh, not here.
Not now.
I was still hesitating.
I wanted to be sure about Oscar's intentions.
The thought of him caused me many sleepless nights.
We were all going crazy.
The shower rooms sparked off many passions.
What are you doing?
I missed you this summer.
Again? I would play again.
That's a... That's a stupid game with no boys around.
Who needs a man?
The tears of your eyes are burning through to my very soul.
That's what all the boys say.
And the girls lower their panties.
You know you're a man.
Oh, Christine, you excite me.
Oscar loved me. I loved him. He had asked me to marry him and I had said
He had warned me that he had to first leave for the colonies on a journey of
and discovery.
I had accepted without hesitation.
What the hell do you think you're doing, you stupid old fool?
Some people call me a stupid old fool, but some people call me... Come here,
my darling.
I'm so sorry, sir.
My father had sent something with cooking and one day paid us a surprise
Before we indulge in intercourse. He said, can I ask you, do you smoke
after intercourse?
And do you know what he said?
Do you know?
I've never looked.
Oh, you don't get it. Oh, well.
Did you like it, my darling?
I loved it.
Well... What I understood.
Yeah, well, shall we have another one?
Daddy, I thought you brought that case back from France to give to the
ambassador. Yeah.
So, my young chap, you look a bit too frail to satisfy my daughter.
She's not common, lady. Sir, this is enough.
I protest.
Such impetuousness. England is safe. Sit down, young man. Sit down.
So, my young chap, I'm proud of you.
You must excuse me, sir. I must go to my class.
At last, you've opened your mouth. Please, please, please, sit down, sit
sit down. You learn more with me than all the rubbish they teach you here.
I'll tell you another story.
Daddy, not again.
All right, but it is my duty to warn you. Young man, I heard you were a
on his way to save the world.
You're brave enough to fight the typhus, the malaria, and the African warriors.
But there is something worse.
What, then?
African brothers!
Sir,
this is not a subject to joke about.
Yeah, you've got a point. You're certainly going to need some courage,
hope you come back to my daughter's side soon.
Can we go for a ride in your car?
Oh, with you?
All the way to Venice?
I love him.
I wouldn't say that, but... Now, let me tell you another story.
So there was this Parisian gentleman.
was in this brothel.
So, burn the candle at both ends.
Make the most of your youth.
Anna, this young fellow is a gentleman.
You have my blessing, darling.
You're wonderful, Daddy.
Now, be good, girls.
As we would.
What is it?
They're my boarding papers. They arrived this morning.
I've been waiting so long for this. I can't miss this opportunity.
Tomorrow I'll be on the boat.
Tomorrow?
So soon?
I'm afraid so, Anna.
Let me look at you.
I want to remember you like this tonight.
I want to remember you like this always.
You're frightening me.
I need something to remember you by.
You have no photograph.
Your photograph?
A photograph is just an image.
I want to take a part of you with me.
A photograph doesn't capture your warmth and your passion.
What else can I give you?
Something special.
Your love.
Oscar, you know I love you.
Annie, you know I want to marry you when I come back.
I want to be your first man.
I know, but... I'm not sure I'm ready.
I'm frightened.
So am I.
Who knows where I'll be tomorrow?
I don't want to face you.
Come to me.
Make love to me.
I was the happiest woman on earth.
My dream had come true.
I was going to wait as long as necessary for Oscar.
Whatever the temptations might be.
Elizabeth.
Yes? Don't drink too much. Oh, no.
Can you believe she's still a virgin?
At her age?
I can't believe that.
She is.
Look, Alice has found a new flirt.
It's this maniac now. What are you doing with him?
I'm going to... Oh, here's Winston.
He looks like a bellboy.
Good evening, Alice. Hello, Winston. How are you? Very well, thank you. James,
this is my good friend, Winston.
Healing, sir.
We had organized the party in honor of my
friend Winston.
He was off to the military academy.
Geoffrey Lloyd Hillier arrived.
Everybody said he was strange.
He was a rich heir who had refused a marriage arranged by his family.
People held it against him.
However, I quite liked him.
Good evening, Anna.
Good evening, Geoffrey. May I say you're looking splendid.
I'd like you to meet Mary.
How do you do?
It's a pleasure.
Good evening.
Hello, Winston.
Hello, Geoffrey.
Of course, Justine had jumped on the occasion to organise one of her silly
games. The winner would have the privilege to kiss the innocent Winston
It fell on Elizabeth, the shyest and most innocent of us all.
Or so we thought.
He's all yours now.
Here, let me help you.
Christine, what are you doing?
What a beauty.
Go on. Go ahead.
Go on.
Let me show you What are you doing
No
You obviously don't need me around anymore.
Have fun.
At that time, my friends had gradually given up their resolutions and thrown
themselves wholeheartedly into a world of debauchery.
Life had become one big orgy in which I didn't want to participate.
I held back, strengthened by the thought that Oscar would return to me.
Even Alice had finally succumbed to her desires.
Come, let's make love again. It was so good and you drive me so crazy.
Again? Yes.
What if somebody comes?
Nobody's going to come.
And I've gone horseback riding.
On the one hand, I was happy to see Ella so fulfilled.
On the other, I felt jealous.
Jealous because finding her like that reminded me how much I missed Oscar.
But I was ready to wait until the day I received this letter from him.
My love, my life is here. I can't see myself living in England anymore.
And this is not the place all the time to raise a family.
I won't come back.
Do not wait for me.
Please forgive me.
Oscar. Oscar's letter had destroyed me.
I wandered around for endless months, where my only distraction was Jeffrey's
relentless courting.
Here's a charming surprise, Anna.
Hello, Jeffrey.
Why insist?
I thought I'd given you my answer.
You know that I love you.
That's all.
How could I accept to marry you? I still love Oscar.
I understand.
But maybe one day.
Until then, be happy.
Jeffrey, wait.
Talk to me for a bit.
I'm flattered.
But why would you want to marry me?
I told you, Anna.
I refused a marriage arranged by my family, because I am waiting for the
of my life.
And that woman is you.
I know it.
Of course you think you love this Oscar.
But he's gone, and you can't live alone.
I want your happiness.
In time you'll learn to love me.
If he ever comes back, I'd even accept you to let you leave.
You're crazy, Geoffrey, but I like that.
Let's get married.
Be mine.
Now and forever.
I did not understand Geoffrey very well. But his bold and picturesque character
seduced me.
Unhappy Beth describes my feelings.
I beg your pardon?
He's happy you're getting married.
And she's pretty enough, but... Victoria?
Do you think she's ready for our lifestyle, Geoffrey?
Being a Lloyd Hillier holds a lot of responsibility.
The modern times' father.
She's beautiful.
She's educated.
She... Oh, anyway, you entertain her father for dinner.
Marriage is a bigger commitment than a four -course meal and a glass or two of
wine, Geoffrey.
But I love her. Love?
Love is a firefly, Geoffrey.
It sparks brightly and then dies. It's not enough.
A marriage needs firmer foundations than a...
Fleeting fancy.
Shut up, Mary. What do you know about love?
Can't you stop her, Father?
Geoffrey, you are of an age to be married, but Mary is right, and she
the good name of our family.
I really don't care what either of you think.
I've grown out of this narrow -mindedness and snobbery. It disgusts
This is intolerable.
We shall marry, with or without your blessing.
We got married quickly.
Geoffrey was so seductive.
And he looked like he wouldn't betray his word.
Congratulations, sir, your ladyship. Thank you.
Anna, this is Claire.
Are you happy?
Glitterly.
You make me feel very happy, my love.
I hope I'll always make you happy.
First, let me look at you.
I want to feast on your beauty.
I want to kiss you with my eyes.
I want to explore you with my mind.
I want to see what no man has seen before.
I was happy.
At least, I felt I was.
Geoffrey was a passionate lover and a good husband.
I believed I loved him.
Until one fateful day, Oscar returned to England.
Winston, make sure you deliver this letter to Anna personally.
Oscar, you know she's married. It could cause trouble.
I know.
I don't care.
Now I know I can't live without her.
Very well.
I'll see you next week.
Okay. Take care. Bye. Bye -bye.
Is the lady sick, Pear?
I'm actually waiting for her myself, though.
I don't know.
What's your name?
Winston. Winston?
I'm Liz.
Hello. So, what do you do?
I'm in the army.
In the army?
Are you an officer?
Yeah.
So, there mustn't be many...
Girls in the army.
Not many, no. Not many.
An officer.
Liz,
what are you doing?
Winston! I can see you met Liz.
Oscar was begging me for forgiveness and asked me to return to him.
But Winston was so embarrassed that he forgot to tell me about the letter and
left.
Anna? Yes?
I've decided to go away and travel for some time.
Jeffrey, I thought... Don't ask questions.
I must travel and meditate.
I must go.
When are you going?
I'm leaving tomorrow morning.
Let's enjoy our last moments together.
Thank you, my love.
I felt something was wrong.
This was reminiscent of my last heartbreak.
Jeffrey made love to me all night.
You have the audacity to write a letter to my wife?
Ah, for you.
I thought it might be you. Come in.
What do you want?
I want to see if you deserve to live.
I want to see what you look like when I kill you.
Anna doesn't love you.
She never will.
I'm going to take her back, you know.
Sorry, sir.
Everybody knows you're deranged.
You make me laugh.
You haven't got the guts.
Go on!
Do it!
Geoffrey Lord Hilliard, please.
Oh.
Civilian casualties.
At the end of the corridor.
Both men had survived.
The bullet had only brushed Geoffrey's head.
Physically, there was by all accounts nothing wrong with him.
But he had been affected mentally.
He found himself unable to move the lower half of his body.
The doctor didn't know what to think.
He advised me to lavish all my care and attention on my husband.
Jeffrey's convalescence dragged on for months.
Milady, are you feeling well?
You should take care of yourself.
Alright Claire.
I'm not well.
Is that Miss Jefferies?
You must still take care of yourself.
To be beautiful and ready for him when he comes back.
Have some fruit.
Hmm.
Not bad for a beginner.
Eh, Anna? You're so brave. How can you be so brave?
You're the most handsome of them all, Geoffrey.
And you still are.
And you're mine.
Half yours.
I'm only half a man.
And you will soon tire of me.
I weren't tired of loving you, Geoffrey.
We took a vow, in sickness and in health, for better or for worse.
Geoffrey's condition was improving fast, but he kept the wheelchair, wallowing
in his state.
He seemed to have regained a taste for life, but his cheerfulness masked the
profound bitterness.
At the same time, I had been told of the circumstances of his so -called
accident. His senseless attack on Oscar, intended as a proof of love.
Oscar had been unfairly forced into exile, under suspicion by the police.
My respect for my husband was gradually slipping away.
Well, Anna, you ride that animal as if it were a man, not a horse.
Who said I could find a proper man, Jeffrey?
I'm sorry I said that.
I'm sorry.
Please forgive me.
We could have been happy.
But we are happy.
We are happy.
Who is he?
of the Tedsbury. I'm a church -going girl.
Me too, Lizzie.
Have you seen the bishop lately?
What's going on?
Kissing.
Go back and look.
It's kissing her here and here and here.
Really?
Go back and see. Go.
Thank you
Liz?
Liz! I'm here, sir.
Did you want something?
I need someone to take me back to the house.
I also need someone to take my wife's horse back to the stables.
Yes, sir.
I still think of Oscar, but Geoffrey is my husband and my friend.
I'll do everything I can to help him recover.
I have every intention of living life to the full.
I'm going to shake my husband from his apathy and make myself free once again.
And you.
Don't do this, Anna.
I was on fire last night.
We can't light a fire without a spark.
Are you afraid you'll burn yourself if you touch me?
I don't want to arouse you and then not be able to satisfy you. But you aroused
my desire.
I want to feel you inside me again.
I'm sorry I said that.
But I heard it.
I would have heard it even if I were deaf.
Just like I would have seen it even if I were blind.
Don't speak.
Touch me.
This only frustrates the both of us.
You don't want to touch me.
Of course I do.
But that's all I can ever do.
La Philosophie dans le Boudoir, by the Marquis de Sade.
Maybe you should read it.
My father read it.
He said it was mediocre and insignificant.
Remind me to thank your father for that.
Come in.
May I?
I've prepared your bath for you, Mom.
I'm sorry.
Go.
I don't know.
Whatever you say, man.
I know I've lost you.
Hey.
I saw you.
And her.
I love you, Jeffrey.
I've lost you.
If you don't believe in my love, kill me.
I'm only human, Jeffrey.
I'm not betraying you.
I'm betraying myself.
Then go back there.
Yes, madam.
Have you seen him, please?
No, I did not. But may I be of any help?
Yes, you might be.
Can I dress for me, Claire?
Of course, madam.
It's already getting better, Jeffrey.
Don't ask me how, but I know it is.
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