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1
00:00:22,790 --> 00:00:25,459
(whimpers)
2
00:00:26,860 --> 00:00:28,028
(screams)
3
00:00:29,897 --> 00:00:33,067
Fine, I'll go
to parent-teacher night.
4
00:00:35,569 --> 00:00:39,073
* Yes, no, maybe
5
00:00:39,107 --> 00:00:41,609
* I don't know
6
00:00:41,642 --> 00:00:44,945
* Can you repeat the question?
7
00:00:44,978 --> 00:00:47,115
* You're not the boss
of me now *
8
00:00:47,148 --> 00:00:49,617
* You're not
the boss of me now *
9
00:00:49,650 --> 00:00:51,952
* You're not the boss
of me now *
10
00:00:51,985 --> 00:00:54,122
* And you're not so big
11
00:00:54,155 --> 00:00:56,424
* You're not the boss
of me now *
12
00:00:56,457 --> 00:00:58,626
* You're not
the boss of me now *
13
00:00:58,659 --> 00:01:01,129
* You're not the boss
of me now *
14
00:01:01,162 --> 00:01:03,931
* And you're not so big
15
00:01:03,964 --> 00:01:08,636
* Life is unfair.
16
00:01:12,940 --> 00:01:15,643
(phone rings)
17
00:01:15,676 --> 00:01:17,311
Hello.
18
00:01:17,345 --> 00:01:19,247
Hey, Stevie.
19
00:01:19,280 --> 00:01:20,814
The usual. We're on punishment.
20
00:01:22,583 --> 00:01:23,784
No good reason.
21
00:01:23,817 --> 00:01:25,119
We had the eggs,
we had the golf clubs.
22
00:01:25,153 --> 00:01:26,920
What'd she expect?
23
00:01:26,954 --> 00:01:29,157
Whoa! Really?
24
00:01:30,424 --> 00:01:31,825
I want that thing
spotless.
25
00:01:31,859 --> 00:01:33,894
I want to be able
to lick the bricks.
26
00:01:33,927 --> 00:01:35,596
When are you going
to lick the bricks?
27
00:01:35,629 --> 00:01:37,898
I want you to be able
to lick the bricks.
28
00:01:37,931 --> 00:01:39,300
I'll lick the bricks right now.
29
00:01:39,333 --> 00:01:41,101
This is the last day
of your punishment.
30
00:01:41,135 --> 00:01:42,903
Do you want me to
tack on one day more?
31
00:01:42,936 --> 00:01:44,505
All right. All right.
32
00:01:53,314 --> 00:01:55,416
Hey, Stevie's dad got
three extra tickets
33
00:01:55,449 --> 00:01:56,750
to the demolition derby.
34
00:01:56,784 --> 00:01:58,586
Cool.
That's not even
the best part.
35
00:01:58,619 --> 00:01:59,853
We're going with Stevie
36
00:01:59,887 --> 00:02:01,155
so we get the handicapped seats
in the front.
37
00:02:02,390 --> 00:02:03,591
Hey, Mom,
38
00:02:03,624 --> 00:02:05,293
can we go to
the demolition
derby tomorrow?
39
00:02:05,326 --> 00:02:07,127
Demolition derby?
40
00:02:07,161 --> 00:02:08,762
What? You want to go tomorrow?
41
00:02:08,795 --> 00:02:09,830
Yeah. Why not?
42
00:02:09,863 --> 00:02:11,499
Our punishment's
over tonight.
43
00:02:11,532 --> 00:02:13,934
You think we might have
something planned for tomorrow?
44
00:02:13,967 --> 00:02:16,003
Yeah, the demolition derby.
45
00:02:16,036 --> 00:02:19,940
Or could it be that tomorrow is
your father's birthday?!
46
00:02:19,973 --> 00:02:20,774
Oh...
47
00:02:20,808 --> 00:02:22,176
We talked about this!
48
00:02:22,210 --> 00:02:23,477
Well, maybe Dad
can come with us.
49
00:02:23,511 --> 00:02:25,279
Yeah, we can get him
a ticket from a scalper.
50
00:02:25,313 --> 00:02:26,380
That could be our present.
51
00:02:26,414 --> 00:02:28,048
You're not going anywhere!
52
00:02:28,081 --> 00:02:29,183
You're staying at home
53
00:02:29,217 --> 00:02:31,118
and we're going to throw
your father a birthday party
54
00:02:31,151 --> 00:02:32,953
like we talked about.
55
00:02:32,986 --> 00:02:34,822
I have something
very special planned.
56
00:02:34,855 --> 00:02:35,889
Like what?
57
00:02:35,923 --> 00:02:37,291
It's none of your business.
58
00:02:37,325 --> 00:02:39,059
It's a surprise for your father.
59
00:02:39,092 --> 00:02:40,494
Honestly, I can't believe
you boys!
60
00:02:40,528 --> 00:02:41,795
You have to be forced
61
00:02:41,829 --> 00:02:43,231
into celebrating
your father's birthday?!
62
00:02:43,264 --> 00:02:45,699
You should be ashamed
of yourselves!
63
00:02:45,733 --> 00:02:47,635
You know what?
You don't have to yell at us.
64
00:02:47,668 --> 00:02:50,271
We can hear you just
fine if you talk in a
normal tone of voice.
65
00:02:51,539 --> 00:02:53,907
I'm okay
with the present system.
66
00:02:53,941 --> 00:02:56,176
Get back to work.
67
00:03:00,681 --> 00:03:02,683
I'm not okay with
the present system.
68
00:03:02,716 --> 00:03:05,018
How does she make me
say things like that?
69
00:03:05,052 --> 00:03:07,321
Oh, my God.
What is it?
70
00:03:07,355 --> 00:03:08,722
Francis is coming home.
71
00:03:08,756 --> 00:03:10,057
Really?
You're kidding.
72
00:03:10,090 --> 00:03:11,392
No. This is his itinerary.
73
00:03:11,425 --> 00:03:12,893
His flight gets in tomorrow.
74
00:03:12,926 --> 00:03:15,195
I hope this doesn't ruin
Mom's special plan.
75
00:03:15,229 --> 00:03:17,531
This is Mom's special plan.
76
00:03:17,565 --> 00:03:19,099
Why didn't
she tell us?
77
00:03:19,132 --> 00:03:21,369
Because it's a surprise
for Dad.
78
00:03:21,402 --> 00:03:24,104
And if we blow her secret,
Mom is going to kill us.
79
00:03:24,137 --> 00:03:26,073
So we just need
to keep our mouths shut
80
00:03:26,106 --> 00:03:27,107
and finish our work.
81
00:03:27,140 --> 00:03:28,476
Right.
82
00:03:29,743 --> 00:03:32,212
Come on, Dewey.
You call this clean?
83
00:03:35,883 --> 00:03:37,918
(TV playing)
84
00:03:41,255 --> 00:03:42,956
(clicks TV off)
85
00:03:44,258 --> 00:03:47,528
* Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you *
86
00:03:47,561 --> 00:03:51,231
* Happy birthday, dear Dad,
happy birthday to you. *
87
00:03:52,500 --> 00:03:54,435
MAN (on TV):
Don't touch that dial.
88
00:03:54,468 --> 00:03:56,804
We'll be right back.
(humming)
89
00:03:56,837 --> 00:03:59,473
You've never seen anything
like this before.
90
00:03:59,507 --> 00:04:02,810
The demolition derby
comes to the fairgrounds!
91
00:04:02,843 --> 00:04:05,979
Tonight at 8:00
see Dr. Bob Edwards
92
00:04:06,013 --> 00:04:10,784
and his '76 Impala station wagon
of death, destruction, mayhem.
93
00:04:10,818 --> 00:04:12,820
Big cash prizes.
Winner takes home $150...
94
00:04:12,853 --> 00:04:14,422
(quickly):
minus entry fee.
95
00:04:14,455 --> 00:04:16,923
Wagering prohibited
on the fairgrounds.
96
00:04:16,957 --> 00:04:18,826
Come if you dare.
97
00:04:18,858 --> 00:04:20,160
This is so unfair.
98
00:04:20,192 --> 00:04:21,962
Dad has tons of birthdays,
99
00:04:21,995 --> 00:04:24,765
but there's only one
demolition derby.
100
00:04:24,798 --> 00:04:27,234
We never get to do
anything good.
101
00:04:27,267 --> 00:04:30,338
Well, at least Francis
will be here.
102
00:04:30,371 --> 00:04:33,674
...'76 Impala station wagon
of death!
103
00:04:33,707 --> 00:04:34,942
Yeah.
104
00:04:36,109 --> 00:04:39,112
Not bad.
105
00:04:39,146 --> 00:04:41,248
Still have a little snap
in my skin.
106
00:04:41,281 --> 00:04:42,950
For the love
of God,
107
00:04:42,983 --> 00:04:44,918
what did you do to me?
108
00:04:44,952 --> 00:04:45,986
What do you mean?
109
00:04:46,019 --> 00:04:47,455
All those sit-ups I did,
110
00:04:47,488 --> 00:04:49,256
all those miles I ran
every morning
111
00:04:49,289 --> 00:04:52,292
and this is how you repay me,
by looking like hell?
112
00:04:52,326 --> 00:04:53,494
You think I look bad?
113
00:04:53,527 --> 00:04:56,330
Please. The crow's feet,
the turkey neck?
114
00:04:56,364 --> 00:04:58,766
Okay. A few years have gone by.
115
00:04:58,799 --> 00:05:01,469
There's been
a little wear and tear.
116
00:05:01,502 --> 00:05:02,503
Wear and tear?
117
00:05:02,536 --> 00:05:04,938
You look like a puppet
of yourself
118
00:05:04,972 --> 00:05:06,874
made out of cottage cheese.
119
00:05:06,907 --> 00:05:10,210
What are you talking about?
Check out the pant melons.
120
00:05:10,243 --> 00:05:11,779
They still do the trick.
121
00:05:11,812 --> 00:05:13,481
Well, sure, it's magnificent,
122
00:05:13,514 --> 00:05:15,449
but you're not going
to be able
123
00:05:15,483 --> 00:05:17,017
to coast on that forever.
124
00:05:19,319 --> 00:05:20,287
I postdate checks
125
00:05:20,320 --> 00:05:21,855
to the power company
all the time.
126
00:05:21,889 --> 00:05:24,291
Why is that suddenly
such a big deal?
127
00:05:24,324 --> 00:05:26,293
Look, I'm a little short
this month
128
00:05:26,326 --> 00:05:29,229
(whispering):
because I spent a lot of money
to surprise my husband
129
00:05:29,262 --> 00:05:31,499
for his birthday,
but next month...
130
00:05:31,532 --> 00:05:36,804
No, it was
a special circumstance.
131
00:05:36,837 --> 00:05:39,239
Look, can I speak
with your supervisor?
132
00:05:39,272 --> 00:05:41,975
No, don't put me on hol...
133
00:05:42,009 --> 00:05:43,577
Damn!
134
00:05:43,611 --> 00:05:45,312
Whoops.
Let me get those.
135
00:05:45,345 --> 00:05:47,815
Oh, there's one.
136
00:05:47,848 --> 00:05:48,816
Yes, I'm still holding.
137
00:05:48,849 --> 00:05:50,384
Do you have
to stay on the phone?
138
00:05:50,418 --> 00:05:52,152
Hal, would you please
just give me a minute?
139
00:05:52,185 --> 00:05:53,754
They're threatening
to cut off the power.
140
00:05:53,787 --> 00:05:55,989
It's a 24-hour number.
You can call 'em back.
141
00:05:56,023 --> 00:05:57,591
No, I can't!
Yes, you can!
142
00:05:57,625 --> 00:05:58,826
You know,
there was a time
143
00:05:58,859 --> 00:06:00,694
when I didn't have to ask
for your attention.
144
00:06:00,728 --> 00:06:01,729
What? Yes, I'm still...
145
00:06:01,762 --> 00:06:03,564
I thought you were
getting the supervisor.
146
00:06:03,597 --> 00:06:04,598
A man likes
to be noticed
147
00:06:04,632 --> 00:06:05,933
when he walks
in a room, Lois.
148
00:06:05,966 --> 00:06:07,601
Boys, would you leave
the room a minute
149
00:06:07,635 --> 00:06:09,002
so your father
and I can talk?
150
00:06:09,036 --> 00:06:10,571
No!
151
00:06:13,641 --> 00:06:15,609
Excuse me?
152
00:06:15,643 --> 00:06:16,844
I'm not leaving.
153
00:06:16,877 --> 00:06:20,013
You guys just chase us
out whenever you want
154
00:06:20,047 --> 00:06:21,348
without even asking us!
155
00:06:21,381 --> 00:06:24,084
I'm getting
tired of it!
156
00:06:24,117 --> 00:06:26,086
Watching TV is the only thing
to do in this house
157
00:06:26,119 --> 00:06:27,521
that's actually fun
158
00:06:27,555 --> 00:06:29,623
so you're left
with two choices:
159
00:06:29,657 --> 00:06:32,092
You can either fight
somewhere else
160
00:06:32,125 --> 00:06:34,061
or get us a TV
for our room!
161
00:06:36,163 --> 00:06:39,266
There's no reasoning
with that woman.
162
00:06:39,299 --> 00:06:41,635
I thought you made
some good points.
163
00:06:41,669 --> 00:06:43,971
It doesn't matter.
She doesn't listen anyway.
164
00:06:44,004 --> 00:06:45,372
It's like talking
to a wall.
165
00:06:45,405 --> 00:06:48,141
(laughs)
Hey, that's what we're doing.
166
00:06:48,175 --> 00:06:50,711
Just relax.
It's only for a couple of hours.
167
00:06:50,744 --> 00:06:53,747
When Francis gets home,
they'll forget all about it.
168
00:06:53,781 --> 00:06:55,282
We can get through this.
169
00:07:05,258 --> 00:07:07,160
We've been waiting
for 20 minutes, Lois.
170
00:07:07,194 --> 00:07:08,228
When can we eat?
171
00:07:08,261 --> 00:07:10,564
Hal, we have to wait
172
00:07:10,598 --> 00:07:12,633
for the ice cream
to loosen up.
173
00:07:12,666 --> 00:07:13,967
You know you like it soft.
174
00:07:14,001 --> 00:07:15,569
No, I don't.
Yes, you do.
175
00:07:15,603 --> 00:07:18,506
In fact, so do we.
We all do.
176
00:07:18,539 --> 00:07:19,272
Since when?
177
00:07:19,306 --> 00:07:21,742
Since yesterday.
178
00:07:21,775 --> 00:07:22,910
What happened yesterday?
179
00:07:22,943 --> 00:07:25,679
Dad, just be patient.
This isn't a witch hunt.
180
00:07:25,713 --> 00:07:27,147
Just calm down
181
00:07:27,180 --> 00:07:29,583
and whatever happens
is going to happen.
182
00:07:29,617 --> 00:07:31,118
What are you talking about?
183
00:07:33,120 --> 00:07:35,523
What I'm trying to say
is we're going
184
00:07:35,556 --> 00:07:38,291
to get through this together
as a family...
185
00:07:39,893 --> 00:07:42,496
...and as individuals
186
00:07:42,530 --> 00:07:46,033
in this great country
where we live.
187
00:07:47,801 --> 00:07:48,769
(doorbell rings)
188
00:07:48,802 --> 00:07:50,103
Thank God!
189
00:07:50,137 --> 00:07:53,173
Come on, Hal.
190
00:07:53,206 --> 00:07:54,708
What are you doing?
191
00:07:54,742 --> 00:07:56,777
Giving you your present.
192
00:07:56,810 --> 00:07:58,612
Ta-da!
193
00:07:58,646 --> 00:08:00,480
Happy birthday, Dad.
Francis!
194
00:08:00,514 --> 00:08:02,883
Oh, my God,
it's Francis!
195
00:08:02,916 --> 00:08:03,884
(laughs)
196
00:08:03,917 --> 00:08:05,953
Oh, look at you!
Come here!
197
00:08:05,986 --> 00:08:07,387
I can't believe it!
198
00:08:07,420 --> 00:08:09,222
How long
are you staying?
199
00:08:09,256 --> 00:08:10,824
A few days.
Are you surprised?
200
00:08:10,858 --> 00:08:12,125
Surprised?
I'm in shock!
201
00:08:12,159 --> 00:08:13,326
Well, you should be.
202
00:08:13,360 --> 00:08:15,295
I've been planning
this for months.
203
00:08:15,328 --> 00:08:16,229
Thank you.
204
00:08:16,263 --> 00:08:17,330
Happy birthday, honey.
205
00:08:17,364 --> 00:08:18,331
Hold on.
206
00:08:18,365 --> 00:08:22,135
I've got another surprise
for you.
207
00:08:22,169 --> 00:08:24,304
Everybody, this is Piama.
208
00:08:24,337 --> 00:08:27,374
She's my wife.
209
00:08:31,945 --> 00:08:33,881
We're married.
210
00:08:33,914 --> 00:08:35,515
Hi.
211
00:08:35,549 --> 00:08:37,417
I was going to tell you
over the phone
212
00:08:37,450 --> 00:08:39,653
and then I thought
why not bring her down here
213
00:08:39,687 --> 00:08:41,020
and surprise you
in person?
214
00:08:41,054 --> 00:08:42,389
What do you mean
you're married?
215
00:08:42,422 --> 00:08:44,324
Piama and I are
husband and wife.
216
00:08:44,357 --> 00:08:45,726
We got married last week.
217
00:08:45,759 --> 00:08:46,760
Last week?
218
00:08:46,794 --> 00:08:48,528
Francis, who is this woman?
219
00:08:48,562 --> 00:08:51,732
She's my wife.
Her name is Piama.
220
00:08:51,765 --> 00:08:53,901
Hello.
221
00:08:57,370 --> 00:08:58,371
Well, come on.
222
00:08:58,405 --> 00:09:00,340
Isn't anyone going
to congratulate us?
223
00:09:00,373 --> 00:09:01,441
What?
224
00:09:01,474 --> 00:09:02,743
For getting married.
225
00:09:02,776 --> 00:09:04,344
That's what families do.
226
00:09:04,377 --> 00:09:05,579
I think I'm going
to be sick.
227
00:09:05,613 --> 00:09:06,546
Well, come on, Mom.
228
00:09:06,580 --> 00:09:08,448
You can at least try
and be and happy for me.
229
00:09:08,481 --> 00:09:09,783
I'm sorry, Francis.
230
00:09:09,817 --> 00:09:11,418
This is a hell of a thing
to dump in my lap
231
00:09:11,451 --> 00:09:13,286
on your father's birthday.
232
00:09:13,320 --> 00:09:15,122
Yeah, it's all about you, Mom.
233
00:09:15,155 --> 00:09:17,390
Excuse me for thinking
that my family
234
00:09:17,424 --> 00:09:19,426
would be excited
to meet my wife.
235
00:09:19,459 --> 00:09:21,128
I can't believe you guys!
236
00:09:21,161 --> 00:09:23,430
Come on, Francis,
it's not their fault.
237
00:09:23,463 --> 00:09:24,632
What did you expect?
238
00:09:24,665 --> 00:09:26,299
You could have at least
called ahead of time.
239
00:09:26,333 --> 00:09:27,868
Boys, go to your room!
240
00:09:27,901 --> 00:09:30,037
What? What do you mean?
We're on your side.
241
00:09:30,070 --> 00:09:31,605
I said go!
242
00:09:35,142 --> 00:09:36,309
How long have you
known each other?
243
00:09:36,343 --> 00:09:37,377
You never mentioned her.
244
00:09:37,410 --> 00:09:40,480
I only met her
a month ago... today.
245
00:09:40,513 --> 00:09:42,282
Happy anniversary.
246
00:09:42,315 --> 00:09:43,617
Plus we had
the whole bus ride down.
247
00:09:43,651 --> 00:09:46,586
A month?
I misjudged you.
248
00:09:46,620 --> 00:09:48,388
You know, come to think of it,
that's the longest
249
00:09:48,421 --> 00:09:51,058
you ever stuck with anything
in your life.
250
00:09:51,091 --> 00:09:52,459
Congratulations.
251
00:09:52,492 --> 00:09:53,794
You outlasted
his paper route.
252
00:09:53,827 --> 00:09:56,897
Lady, you don't want
to stick your hand
in my face.
253
00:09:56,930 --> 00:09:58,431
Hey, everybody,
let's just calm down.
254
00:09:58,465 --> 00:10:00,600
We are calm!
It's Mom who's flipping out!
255
00:10:00,634 --> 00:10:03,136
Oh, Francis, I haven't
even started to flip out!
256
00:10:03,170 --> 00:10:04,772
Why can't you just
be happy for us?!
257
00:10:04,805 --> 00:10:06,674
LOIS:
We're supposed to be happy
258
00:10:06,707 --> 00:10:08,175
when you repay us
like this
259
00:10:08,208 --> 00:10:09,777
after all
we've done for you?!
260
00:10:09,810 --> 00:10:11,278
FRANCIS: I'm confused!
Are we talking about
261
00:10:11,311 --> 00:10:12,680
the years of
psychological abuse
262
00:10:12,713 --> 00:10:15,783
or shipping me off
to military school?!
263
00:10:15,816 --> 00:10:18,618
This family sucks.
They don't care
anything about us.
264
00:10:18,652 --> 00:10:20,187
They don't even listen to us.
265
00:10:20,220 --> 00:10:21,454
Let's get out of here.
266
00:10:21,488 --> 00:10:23,023
To the demolition derby?
267
00:10:23,056 --> 00:10:25,125
No. I mean,
let's really get out of here
268
00:10:25,158 --> 00:10:26,760
and get away
from these people.
269
00:10:26,794 --> 00:10:27,861
Where are we going to go?
270
00:10:27,895 --> 00:10:30,430
Wherever
this takes us.
271
00:10:30,463 --> 00:10:32,532
I snagged it out of dad's wallet
this morning.
272
00:10:32,565 --> 00:10:34,101
You knew we were going
to need it tonight?
273
00:10:34,134 --> 00:10:36,203
Uh, yeah.
274
00:10:36,236 --> 00:10:37,938
I'm in.
Yeah, but...
275
00:10:37,971 --> 00:10:39,840
FRANCIS:
...and stomp it into a bloody
pulp and throw it in the trash.
276
00:10:39,873 --> 00:10:42,109
LOIS:
Why do I even try?
277
00:10:42,142 --> 00:10:43,510
You've been nothing
but a problem
278
00:10:43,543 --> 00:10:45,345
since the day you were born.
Let's go.
279
00:10:45,378 --> 00:10:47,614
PIAMA: He's trying to explain
it to you
280
00:10:47,647 --> 00:10:49,316
if you'd just listen
to him for once!
281
00:10:49,349 --> 00:10:52,953
Why are you talking?!
Why are you talking?!
282
00:10:52,986 --> 00:10:54,454
Can we just stop this?!
283
00:10:54,487 --> 00:10:57,791
Let's get in the car
and go for a drive to cool off.
284
00:10:57,825 --> 00:10:59,893
We can still have
a nice birthday party.
285
00:10:59,927 --> 00:11:03,731
Oh, we are long past
having a nice birthday party!
286
00:11:03,764 --> 00:11:05,899
As usual, Francis has
taken something
287
00:11:05,933 --> 00:11:08,468
that should have been sweet
and ruined it!
288
00:11:08,501 --> 00:11:09,536
Don't pin this on me!
289
00:11:09,569 --> 00:11:12,205
I am completely willing
to have a party right now!
290
00:11:12,239 --> 00:11:15,575
Oh, you want to have a party?
Happy damn birthday!
291
00:11:15,608 --> 00:11:18,178
Hey, why don't we all have
some cake?!
292
00:11:21,681 --> 00:11:23,984
We don't want to be a part
of this family anymore
293
00:11:24,017 --> 00:11:25,318
so we're leaving.
294
00:11:25,352 --> 00:11:27,654
Oh, great, Mom!
Here we go with
the dramatics!
295
00:11:27,687 --> 00:11:28,989
LOIS:
Who else wants cake?!
296
00:11:29,022 --> 00:11:30,924
Thank you.
You're welcome.
297
00:11:30,958 --> 00:11:33,160
Who wants some delicious
damn cake?!
298
00:11:33,193 --> 00:11:34,694
Can Piama have a rose?
299
00:11:34,728 --> 00:11:37,097
Why not? There's plenty
to go around!
300
00:11:37,130 --> 00:11:41,068
I'm the one who broke
the ice-maker last year!
301
00:11:41,101 --> 00:11:43,103
Why do you have
to ruin everything?!
302
00:11:43,136 --> 00:11:45,638
Well, I learned from
the best, Mom!
303
00:11:52,312 --> 00:11:55,115
Wow, I've never been
in a hotel this fancy before.
304
00:11:55,148 --> 00:11:56,516
This isn't a hotel, Dewey.
305
00:11:56,549 --> 00:11:57,885
It's our new home.
306
00:11:57,918 --> 00:11:59,652
Okay, let me do
all the talking.
307
00:12:01,321 --> 00:12:02,555
May I help you?
308
00:12:02,589 --> 00:12:04,858
My dad called in
a reservation.
309
00:12:04,892 --> 00:12:07,127
Okay...
310
00:12:07,160 --> 00:12:08,595
There you are.
311
00:12:08,628 --> 00:12:10,563
As soon as your
dad signs this,
312
00:12:10,597 --> 00:12:11,564
you're all set.
313
00:12:11,598 --> 00:12:13,801
Oh, he's out
at the car,
314
00:12:13,834 --> 00:12:15,402
but we can
take care of it.
315
00:12:15,435 --> 00:12:16,736
Maybe you want to have a seat
316
00:12:16,770 --> 00:12:18,238
and we'll just wait
for your dad.
317
00:12:18,271 --> 00:12:20,140
Is there any way
we could speed this along?
318
00:12:20,173 --> 00:12:22,042
My little brother
isn't feeling very well.
319
00:12:22,075 --> 00:12:23,944
Yeah, my dad's going
to be a while out there.
320
00:12:23,977 --> 00:12:25,645
He's cleaning the car
where Dewey got sick.
321
00:12:25,678 --> 00:12:29,049
I'm sorry, but
an adult needs to
sign for the room.
322
00:12:29,082 --> 00:12:30,717
Look, he's really sick.
323
00:12:30,750 --> 00:12:32,752
He could blow any second.
324
00:12:32,786 --> 00:12:34,754
He doesn't look that sick to me.
325
00:12:37,490 --> 00:12:39,459
(grunting)
326
00:12:41,862 --> 00:12:43,296
Dewey, that was amazing.
327
00:12:43,330 --> 00:12:44,965
They ran out of barf dust.
328
00:12:44,998 --> 00:12:46,333
I'm hungry.
329
00:12:46,366 --> 00:12:47,634
I bet you are.
330
00:12:47,667 --> 00:12:50,938
How do you guys
want your steaks?
331
00:12:54,707 --> 00:12:56,576
Should we look in the park?
332
00:12:56,609 --> 00:12:59,312
No, nobody goes there anymore
since they put the lights in.
333
00:13:00,447 --> 00:13:03,650
Oh.
334
00:13:03,683 --> 00:13:05,819
Why didn't you tell us
you were getting married?
335
00:13:05,853 --> 00:13:06,820
I don't know, Dad.
336
00:13:06,854 --> 00:13:08,155
It just happened kind of fast.
337
00:13:08,188 --> 00:13:09,756
How can you know anyone
in a month?
338
00:13:09,789 --> 00:13:11,591
Dad, I knew in a minute.
339
00:13:11,624 --> 00:13:14,161
Trust me, Piama is the one.
340
00:13:14,194 --> 00:13:15,829
She's a little fiery
341
00:13:15,863 --> 00:13:18,932
but she's also kind and funny
and completely real.
342
00:13:18,966 --> 00:13:21,001
You just haven't gotten
to know the real Piama.
343
00:13:21,034 --> 00:13:22,335
And whose fault is that?
344
00:13:22,369 --> 00:13:24,804
I know, I know, but that's
why I brought her down with me
345
00:13:24,838 --> 00:13:26,206
so everyone would
get to know her.
346
00:13:26,239 --> 00:13:29,176
It wasn't supposed to turn
into the apocalypse.
347
00:13:29,209 --> 00:13:31,111
And what about you and Mom?
348
00:13:31,144 --> 00:13:32,612
You got married pretty quick.
349
00:13:32,645 --> 00:13:34,147
Yes, but I was
a few years older.
350
00:13:34,181 --> 00:13:35,715
I had already been
with a lot of...
351
00:13:37,150 --> 00:13:39,019
I had lived a full life.
352
00:13:39,052 --> 00:13:40,320
So you were older.
353
00:13:40,353 --> 00:13:42,789
I just happened to run into
the exact right person for me
354
00:13:42,822 --> 00:13:43,991
a little earlier
than you did.
355
00:13:44,024 --> 00:13:46,726
Once you meet
that person, why wait?
356
00:13:46,759 --> 00:13:49,296
Huh? Why not do it if I'm sure?
357
00:13:49,329 --> 00:13:51,164
Should I not do it because
my family's not sure?
358
00:13:51,198 --> 00:13:54,001
It wouldn't matter if
the wedding was last week
359
00:13:54,034 --> 00:13:56,036
or next week or
ten years from now,
360
00:13:56,069 --> 00:13:58,305
you and Mom still would have
had a problem with it.
361
00:13:58,338 --> 00:13:59,639
All my life...
362
00:13:59,672 --> 00:14:01,508
I would have come, Francis.
What?
363
00:14:02,910 --> 00:14:04,878
If you had invited me,
I would have come.
364
00:14:04,912 --> 00:14:07,180
No, you...
365
00:14:09,216 --> 00:14:11,684
I'm sorry.
366
00:14:18,191 --> 00:14:20,760
Didn't I tell you
flowers were a great idea?
367
00:14:20,793 --> 00:14:22,829
Okay, we're all set.
368
00:14:22,862 --> 00:14:25,765
You have the Plaza Burger,
the Maine lobster,
369
00:14:25,798 --> 00:14:29,036
medium-rare Porterhouse,
large platter of french fries
370
00:14:29,069 --> 00:14:31,404
and a complete dessert cart.
371
00:14:33,773 --> 00:14:36,243
Your parents certainly have
interesting taste in food.
372
00:14:36,276 --> 00:14:37,344
Yeah, they do.
373
00:14:37,377 --> 00:14:39,012
Actually, I'm going to need
374
00:14:39,046 --> 00:14:41,214
one of your parents
to sign that.
375
00:14:41,248 --> 00:14:43,350
I left the tip blank.
376
00:14:43,383 --> 00:14:45,785
Why don't you put in
whatever you think is fair.
377
00:14:45,818 --> 00:14:48,455
Bon appétit.
378
00:14:48,488 --> 00:14:51,191
Dewey, your dinner's here!
379
00:14:51,224 --> 00:14:53,126
Here you go, Reese.
380
00:14:53,160 --> 00:14:55,028
Thank you, Malcolm.
381
00:14:55,062 --> 00:14:57,931
So this is what
a $24 hamburger looks like.
382
00:14:57,965 --> 00:15:00,467
I thought it would be
as big as my head.
383
00:15:00,500 --> 00:15:03,536
Ah. Why don't we have
a Jacuzzi tub at home?
384
00:15:03,570 --> 00:15:05,405
Because that would
make us happy.
385
00:15:05,438 --> 00:15:07,140
You know what,
forget about that place.
386
00:15:07,174 --> 00:15:08,475
Tonight, this is our home.
387
00:15:08,508 --> 00:15:10,477
You got a lobster?
Yes.
388
00:15:10,510 --> 00:15:11,979
I think I deserve
a lobster.
389
00:15:12,012 --> 00:15:14,147
We all deserve
something nice for once.
390
00:15:14,181 --> 00:15:16,649
Whoa, this dinner was expensive.
391
00:15:16,683 --> 00:15:19,086
I wonder what Dad's
credit limit is.
392
00:15:21,989 --> 00:15:23,290
Let's find out.
393
00:15:31,965 --> 00:15:34,434
They should be home
with the boys soon.
394
00:15:37,437 --> 00:15:38,972
How's your tea?
395
00:15:39,006 --> 00:15:40,940
Fine, thank you.
396
00:15:43,476 --> 00:15:44,577
Sugar?
397
00:15:44,611 --> 00:15:47,447
No, thanks.
398
00:15:49,482 --> 00:15:51,351
That's a pretty bracelet.
399
00:15:51,384 --> 00:15:52,819
Thank you.
400
00:15:52,852 --> 00:15:55,288
What kind of stone is that?
401
00:15:55,322 --> 00:15:56,423
Turquoise.
402
00:15:56,456 --> 00:15:57,757
Francis got it for me.
403
00:15:57,790 --> 00:15:59,859
Oh.
404
00:16:04,331 --> 00:16:05,765
How was your flight?
405
00:16:05,798 --> 00:16:07,167
We took the bus.
406
00:16:07,200 --> 00:16:09,102
That's right,
I guess that's what Francis did
407
00:16:09,136 --> 00:16:11,171
with the money that I sent him
for his plane fare.
408
00:16:11,204 --> 00:16:12,772
Plus the bracelet.
409
00:16:12,805 --> 00:16:15,508
Let's talk about something else.
410
00:16:15,542 --> 00:16:18,011
You know, Francis isn't
the screw-up you think he is.
411
00:16:18,045 --> 00:16:19,279
Really?
412
00:16:19,312 --> 00:16:21,148
Did you know he works
16 hours a day at his job
413
00:16:21,181 --> 00:16:22,282
and he still managed to build
414
00:16:22,315 --> 00:16:23,850
a wheelchair ramp
for my uncle Jake.
415
00:16:23,883 --> 00:16:24,984
In fact...
I don't think
416
00:16:25,018 --> 00:16:26,719
we should talk about Francis,
either.
417
00:16:26,753 --> 00:16:27,887
Why not?
418
00:16:27,920 --> 00:16:29,389
He's my husband and your son.
419
00:16:29,422 --> 00:16:30,790
Needless to say, he and I have
420
00:16:30,823 --> 00:16:32,859
a very long and complicated
history together
421
00:16:32,892 --> 00:16:34,961
that I don't feel like
explaining to you.
422
00:16:34,994 --> 00:16:36,229
Admit it.
423
00:16:36,263 --> 00:16:38,165
You don't like me.
424
00:16:38,198 --> 00:16:39,399
I don't even know you.
425
00:16:39,432 --> 00:16:41,968
Well, what would you like
to know?
426
00:16:42,001 --> 00:16:43,803
I'm 19.
427
00:16:43,836 --> 00:16:45,505
My mom ran off when I was three
428
00:16:45,538 --> 00:16:47,974
and my dad kicked me
out of the house when I was 14
429
00:16:48,007 --> 00:16:49,409
because I threw out his liquor.
430
00:16:49,442 --> 00:16:50,810
I've been married
once before,
431
00:16:50,843 --> 00:16:53,080
no kids, thank God,
432
00:16:53,113 --> 00:16:55,515
and last year,
I spent three weeks in jail
433
00:16:55,548 --> 00:16:57,484
but it wasn't my fault.
434
00:16:57,517 --> 00:16:58,585
Will you stop this, please?
435
00:16:58,618 --> 00:16:59,986
You just can't stand
436
00:17:00,019 --> 00:17:02,855
for someone in your fancy family
to marry beneath him.
437
00:17:02,889 --> 00:17:05,425
What?
438
00:17:05,458 --> 00:17:08,095
Just because
I'm not all classy like you.
439
00:17:08,127 --> 00:17:09,529
Classy?
440
00:17:09,561 --> 00:17:11,364
You think I'm classy?
441
00:17:11,397 --> 00:17:12,898
Don't laugh at me.
442
00:17:12,932 --> 00:17:14,000
I'm sorry.
443
00:17:14,032 --> 00:17:15,202
It's just, this is a first.
444
00:17:15,234 --> 00:17:17,770
I hate to break it to you,
but I am not classy.
445
00:17:17,804 --> 00:17:18,938
Oh, yeah.
446
00:17:18,971 --> 00:17:21,074
You know,
I guess what you call class
447
00:17:21,108 --> 00:17:23,643
I call manners.
448
00:17:27,046 --> 00:17:31,017
I came down here
hoping to get along with you,
449
00:17:31,050 --> 00:17:35,522
but you're not
going to let that happen.
450
00:17:35,555 --> 00:17:40,893
You might be surprised
at what I'd let happen.
451
00:17:40,927 --> 00:17:45,398
So, what's going to happen?
452
00:17:45,432 --> 00:17:48,135
I don't know.
453
00:17:48,168 --> 00:17:51,003
What is going to happen?
454
00:17:53,740 --> 00:17:55,041
Good news.
455
00:17:55,074 --> 00:17:57,410
The boys stole my credit card.
456
00:17:57,444 --> 00:17:59,746
All we have to do is call
the credit card company and...
457
00:18:01,414 --> 00:18:02,949
You want to come
outside, baby,
Honey, why don't we go...
458
00:18:02,982 --> 00:18:04,917
and I'll show you
my tree house?
459
00:18:12,325 --> 00:18:14,294
About time.
460
00:18:14,327 --> 00:18:17,063
We called for chocolate syrup,
like, 30 minutes ago.
461
00:18:17,096 --> 00:18:18,398
(gasps)
462
00:18:18,431 --> 00:18:19,666
(grunts)
463
00:18:19,699 --> 00:18:20,900
(screams)
464
00:18:20,933 --> 00:18:22,101
Hello, Malcolm.
465
00:18:22,135 --> 00:18:24,471
(Malcolm groans)
Hi, Mom. Hi, Dad.
466
00:18:26,473 --> 00:18:28,007
Beat it, Vicky.
467
00:18:28,040 --> 00:18:31,278
We'll finish
the cuffs later.
468
00:18:32,779 --> 00:18:34,247
Okay, boys,
get your things.
469
00:18:34,281 --> 00:18:35,782
We're going home.
470
00:18:35,815 --> 00:18:37,917
No, we're not
going back there.
471
00:18:37,950 --> 00:18:40,019
Well, you can't stay
in this hotel room forever.
472
00:18:40,052 --> 00:18:41,288
What are you going to do--
473
00:18:41,321 --> 00:18:43,756
live under a bridge and
steal food out of Dumpsters?
474
00:18:43,790 --> 00:18:45,325
I don't know,
but we're not going home.
475
00:18:45,358 --> 00:18:46,926
We've had it with
the way you treat us
476
00:18:46,959 --> 00:18:48,027
and we've had it
477
00:18:48,060 --> 00:18:49,028
with all the yelling!
478
00:18:49,061 --> 00:18:50,863
You are a terrible influence
on us!
479
00:18:50,897 --> 00:18:52,599
All you ever do is scream!
480
00:18:52,632 --> 00:18:54,301
And order us around!
481
00:18:54,334 --> 00:18:56,035
There's something wrong
with this family!
482
00:18:56,068 --> 00:18:57,370
Families should have
483
00:18:57,404 --> 00:19:00,039
some way of communicating
besides yelling!
484
00:19:00,072 --> 00:19:03,210
Okay, everybody,
calm down.
485
00:19:03,243 --> 00:19:04,877
I understand what you're saying.
486
00:19:04,911 --> 00:19:06,446
I am not going to yell.
487
00:19:06,479 --> 00:19:08,281
I am not going to scream.
488
00:19:08,315 --> 00:19:10,116
We are capable
of talking about this
489
00:19:10,149 --> 00:19:11,818
without raising our voices.
490
00:19:13,386 --> 00:19:14,721
Now, boys,
I want you to understand
491
00:19:14,754 --> 00:19:16,389
I am sorry about
what happened,
492
00:19:16,423 --> 00:19:19,692
but you have to understand
I get a little emotional
493
00:19:19,726 --> 00:19:21,728
when I learned
that my oldest son
494
00:19:21,761 --> 00:19:23,396
was acting like an idiot
495
00:19:23,430 --> 00:19:24,897
and throwing his life away.
496
00:19:24,931 --> 00:19:26,433
Now, that doesn't mean...
497
00:19:29,736 --> 00:19:32,305
Stop talking
about him like that!
498
00:19:32,339 --> 00:19:34,441
Francis is my heart!
499
00:19:41,914 --> 00:19:43,816
Okay, we're even.
500
00:19:43,850 --> 00:19:46,319
Everyone's fine and there's
no need for escalation.
501
00:19:46,353 --> 00:19:48,054
Isn't it beautiful
when things work out?
502
00:19:48,087 --> 00:19:49,856
Yeah, I'd say this
has gone pretty well.
503
00:19:49,889 --> 00:19:51,691
I mean, considering we
got off to a rocky start,
504
00:19:51,724 --> 00:19:53,426
we couldn't have asked
for a better ending.
505
00:19:53,460 --> 00:19:58,197
Get your wife out of my sight.
506
00:20:00,900 --> 00:20:02,602
She called you my wife.
507
00:20:02,635 --> 00:20:04,704
That's progress.
508
00:20:07,039 --> 00:20:09,609
So Dad's birthday
wasn't that bad after all.
509
00:20:09,642 --> 00:20:11,177
He got a new back shaver.
510
00:20:11,210 --> 00:20:12,945
We got to eat cake
that was cut by a knife
511
00:20:12,979 --> 00:20:15,415
and Mom has promised
not to yell at us anymore.
512
00:20:15,448 --> 00:20:16,749
Bye, Francis.
Bye, Malcolm.
513
00:20:16,783 --> 00:20:18,451
Happy birthday, Dad.
514
00:20:18,485 --> 00:20:19,919
Thanks, son.
515
00:20:19,952 --> 00:20:21,254
Piama.
516
00:20:21,288 --> 00:20:22,889
Lois.
517
00:20:22,922 --> 00:20:25,057
Anytime you want to finish
our little talk.
518
00:20:25,091 --> 00:20:26,626
I'd like that.
519
00:20:26,659 --> 00:20:28,561
Maybe I'll come for a visit.
520
00:20:28,595 --> 00:20:30,597
Maybe I'll come back down here.
521
00:20:30,630 --> 00:20:32,965
Anytime, anyplace.
522
00:20:32,999 --> 00:20:34,166
Okay, bye.
HAL:
Uh, yeah, yeah, bye.
523
00:20:34,967 --> 00:20:35,902
(Dewey screaming)
524
00:20:35,935 --> 00:20:38,204
Get back here,
you little weasel!
525
00:20:38,237 --> 00:20:39,639
Reese!
526
00:20:50,149 --> 00:20:51,318
I'm sorry, I'm sorry.
527
00:20:51,351 --> 00:20:52,652
It's all my fault.
528
00:20:52,685 --> 00:20:55,455
I'll clean my room
and do all my homework.
529
00:20:55,488 --> 00:20:58,658
We may want to go back
to the old system.
34891
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