All language subtitles for Diana.In.Her.Own.Words.2017.1080p.NF.WEB-DL.DDP5.1.x264-TEPES

INTERVIEWER: Right...

Questions, here we are.

Yeah, has anything come up
since the last meetings?

Any after thoughts?

PRINCESS DIANA:

Well, only about being
accused very early on

of stopping him
hunting and shooting.

Your first memory
after being born?

Anything as a child?

I mean, it was a very
unhappy childhood.

I remember seeing my father
slap my mother across the face

and I was hiding behind a door.

And she was crying.

The press were being unbearable

following my every move.

He sat me down and he said,
"Will you marry me?"

I thought the whole thing was
hysterical, getting married.

It was so grown up.

And here was Diana,
a kindergarten teacher.

I mean, the whole thing
was ridiculous.

I once heard him on the
telephone saying,

"Whatever happens,
I'll always love you."

And I told him I'd
listened at the door.

We had a filthy row.

And I realized I had taken on
an enormous role

but I had no idea
what I was going into.

But no idea.

I remember him coming
to Althorp to stay.

He came with his labrador.

My sister was all
over him like a bad rash.

I thought, "God, he must
really hate that."

And I kept out the way.

I remember being a fat,
podgy, non-makeup, unsmart lady

but I made a lot of noise
and he liked that.

And he just came up to me
after dinner, we had a big dance

and he said, "Will you show
me the gallery?"

For a 16-year-old, for someone like that
to show any attention was just so...

sort of amazed.

"Why would anyone like
him be interested in me?"

Anyway, that was it
for about two years.

Saw him off and on with Sarah.

Sarah got frightfully excited
about the whole thing.

Then she saw something
different happening...

which I hadn't twigged on to.

When he had his 30th birthday dance,
I was asked too.

"Well, why is Diana coming as well?"

And I said, "Well, I don't know,
but I'd like to come."

"Oh, all right."

And I had a very nice time
at the dance.

Fascinating.

I was asked to stay with the de Passes
in July by Philip de Pass.

"Would you like to come 'cause we've
got Prince of Wales staying and..."

"...you're young blood,
you might amuse him."

So I said, "Okay."

The first night,
we sat down on a bale

and I said, you know,
"You looked so sad..."

"...when you walked up the aisle
at St. Paul's..."

...with Lord Mountbatten's funeral."

And I said, "My heart bled
for you, I watched you."

"I thought, 'This is wrong,
you are lonely.'"

You should be with somebody
to look after you, etcetera."

And the next minute he leapt
on me, practically.

And it was very strange
because it was almost as if...

Like a... it wasn't a magnet effect.

I thought, "Well, this isn't very cool."

I thought men were supposed
to not to be so obvious.

But I hadn't got anything to go by
because I'd never had a boyfriend.

I'd always kept them away.

Thought they were all trouble
and I couldn't handle it.

Emotionally, I was
very screwed up, I thought.

And he said, "Oh, you must come
to London with me tomorrow.

"I've got to go and
work at Buckingham Palace."

I thought, "This is too much."

I said, "No, I can't, I'm sorry."

I thought, "How will I
explain me presence..."

"...at Buckingham Palace when
I'm supposed to be staying with Philip?"

And then it sort of built
up from there.

Charles used to ring me up and say,
"Would you like to come for a walk?"

"Would you like to
come for barbecues?"

So I said, "Yes, please."

I thought this
was all wonderful.

INTERVIEWER:

A lot of admiration for an
episode on the riverbank at Balmoral

when you looked at
the press through your mirror.

Did you know that
was going to happen?

INTERVIEWER:
Have you ever had feedback

on who you first spoke to
or what you first...

Your first memory after being born?

Anything as a child?

It's really the smell of
the inside of my pram.

What did it smell of?

Children's parties...

How did you first learn
about the divorce?

INTERVIEWER: As a child,
any ideas of futures or ambitions?

No.

Always felt very different
from everyone else.

Very detached.

Had no idea where.

And said to my father when
I was the age of 13,

"I know I'm going to marry
someone in the public eye."

"I don't know which way."

-At 13?
-Yes.

Thinking an ambassador's
wife, actually.

Not the top one.

It was nice being in a flat with girls,
you know, I loved that.

It was great, laughed
my head off there.

DIANA'S KENSINGTON FLATMATES

My three girls
were wonderful.

Star performers,
loyalty beyond belief.

I kept myself to myself.

I wasn't interested in
having a full diary.

By the time I got to the
top of the school

all my friends
had boyfriends.

But not me.

I knew somehow I had to
keep myself very tidy

for whatever was
coming my way.

INTERVIEWER: Any chases involving
the media in the car?

Oh, lots of them.

But I always made sure
that I went through

just as the light was going to red.

So they were very stuck.

Sometimes I cycled,
some days I didn't.

Did they chase you
on the bike?

Oh, they chased me everywhere.

We're talking about thirty
of them, we're not talking about two.

JANUARY 1981
KLOSTERS, SWITZERLAND

Charles rang me up from Klosters,
saying, "I've got something to ask you."

Instinct in a female,
you know what's coming.

Anyway, I sat up all night
with my girls, saying,

"What do I do? What do I say?"

By that time I had realized
there was somebody else around.

I'd been staying at Bolehyde with
the Parker Bowleses an awful lot.

I couldn't understand why
Camilla kept saying to me,

"Don't do this,
don't do that."

She knew so much about
what he was doing privately.

Eventually I worked it all out.

The next day I went to Windsor,

I arrived about
sort of 5 o'clock.

He sat me down and he said,
"Will you marry me?"

And I laughed.

I remember thinking,
"This is a joke."

So I said, "Yeah, okay."

And he was deadly serious.

And he said, "You do realize that
one day you will be Queen."

A voice said to me inside,

"You won't be Queen, but
you'll have a tough role."

So I thought to myself, "Okay."

So I said, "Yes."

And I said, "I love you so much,
I love you so much."

And he said, "Whatever love means."

Said it then.

So I thought that was great!

I thought he meant that.

How much thought did you really
give the proposal?

A lot, actually.

In my immaturity, which
was enormous

I thought he was
very much in love with me

which he was, he sort of had
the besotted look about him

looking back at it, but it
wasn't the genuine sort.

You know, "Who is this girl
who's so different?"

But he couldn't understand it

'cause his immaturity is
quite good in that department.

And um...

It was like a call for duty, really.

Go and work with people.

Whenever he rang me up, he
said, "Poor Camilla Parker Bowles."

"I've had her on the
telephone tonight..."

"...and she says there's
lots of press at Bolehyde."

"She's having a very rough time.

And I never complained
about the press to him

because I didn't think it
was my position to do so.

And I said, "How many
press are out there?"

He said, "Oh, at least four."

And I thought, "My God,
there's 34 out here."

But I never told him.

CLARENCE HOUSE
ROYAL RESIDENCE

INTERVIEWER:

Do you remember what your first
ever memory was?

You may recall a picture of
me sobbing in a red coat

when he went off
on his aeroplane.

That was nothing to do
with him going.

The most awful thing had
happened before he went.

I was in his study talking
to him about his trip.

The telephone rang.
It was Camilla.

Just before he was going
for five weeks.

So I thought, "Shall I be nice
or shall I just sit here?"

So I thought I'd be nice,
so I left them to it.

And it just broke
my heart, that.

So, I organized lunch.

We had lunch, and...

very tricky, very tricky indeed.

She said, "You're not going
to hunt, are you?"

I said, "No."

"Oh, I just wanted to know that."

But as far as she was concerned
that was her communication.

I was still too immature to understand
all the messages coming my way.

And then someone in
his office told me

that my husband has had
a bracelet made for her.

I walked into this man's office one day

and I said,
"Ooh, what's in that parcel?"

"Oh," he said,
"you shouldn't look at that."

I said, "Well, I'm going to look at it."

So, I opened it and
there was the bracelet.

I was devastated.

And he said, "Well, he's going
to give it to her tonight."

So, rage, rage, rage. You know,
"Why can't you be honest with me?"

But, no, absolutely cut me dead.

It was as if he's made his decision

and if it wasn't going to work,
it wasn't going to work.

He's found the virgin,
the sacrificial lamb

and in a way he was
obsessed with me

but it was hot and cold,
hot and cold.

You never knew what mood
it was going to be.

Up and down, up and down.

I went upstairs, had lunch
with my sisters who were there.

And I said, "I can't marry him.
I can't do this."

"This is absolutely unbelievable."

And they were wonderful and said,

"Well, bad luck, Duch,
your face is on the tea towel..."

"...so you're too late
to chicken out."

The day we got engaged
I had literally one long dress

one silk shirt, one smart pair of shoes
and that was it.

So, suddenly, my mother and I had
to go and buy six of everything.

Bear in mind, you have to
change four times a day.

Suddenly, your wardrobe
expands into something unbelievable.

LONDON
ONE WEEK BEFORE THE WEDDING

Lady Sarah Spencer was there to give
a sister's opinion of the wedding dress.

ELIZABETH AND DAVID EMANUEL
WEDDING DRESS DESIGNERS

The bulimia started
the week after we got engaged.

My husband put his hand on my
waistline and said,

"Oooh, a bit chubby here, aren't we?"

And that triggered off something in me.

And I remember the first time
I made myself sick, I was so thrilled.

Because I thought, "Right, this
is the release, the tension."

The first time I got measured for my

wedding dress, I was
29 around the waist.

The day I got married, I was
23 and a half.

I'd shrunk into nothing.

The public side was very different,
obviously, from the private side.

The public side, they wanted
a fairy princess.

Touch them and everything
would turn into gold

and all their worries
would be forgotten.

Little did they realize that the
individual was crucifying herself inside

because she didn't think
she was good enough.

Why me? Why all this publicity?

INTERVIEWER: Did your father say
anything to you in the coach?

I think the worst day
of my life.

It was a wonderful feeling,
everybody hoorayed, everybody happy

and everybody happy because
they thought we were happy

and there was a big
question mark in my mind.

BUCKINGHAM PALACE
ROYAL RESIDENCE

Overwhelming, what we saw.

So humble-making.

Thousands and thousands
of people, happy.

It was just wonderful.

I realized I had taken on
an enormous role.

But I had no idea what
I was going into.

But no idea.

My husband took eight
Laurens van der Post

novels along on our honeymoon.

INTERVIEWER: To prop the bed up?

Well, no, to read.

BRITANNIA, THE ROYAL YACHT
PORT OF GIBRALTAR

I remember crying my
heart out on my honeymoon.

I was so tired.

For all the wrong reasons.
Totally.

We were opening our diaries
to discuss various things.

Out comes two pictures of Camilla.

And on our honeymoon...

cufflinks arrive on his wrists.

Two 'C's entwined like the
Chanel 'C.'

Got it in one. Knew exactly.

So, I said, "Camilla gave you
those, didn't she?"

He said, "Yes, so what's wrong?
They're a present from a friend."

And, boy, did we have a row.

Jealously, total jealousy.

And it was such a good
idea, the two 'C's.

But it wasn't that clever.

By then, the bulimia
was appalling

absolutely appalling,
it was rife,

it was four times a day on the yacht.

Anything I could find, I would gobble up
and be sick two minutes later.

We survived that all right.

Then we went off to Balmoral
straight from the yacht.

BALMORAL CASTLE
ROYAL FAMILY'S SCOTTISH HOME

REPORTER: May we ask, are you
having a good holiday, sir?

Every now and then, yes.

REPORTER: Madam, how are you enjoying
married life?

It's highly recommended.

How do you like Balmoral
as a place?

It's lovely, it's beautiful.

Have you cooked a breakfast yet?

I don't eat breakfast.

All the analysts and
psychiatrists you can

ever dream of came plodding in.

Tried to sort me out.

Put me on high doses of Valium.

It was me telling them
what I needed.

They were telling me, "Pills."

Got to keep them happy,
they could go to bed at night and sleep

knowing the Princess of Wales
wasn't going to stab anyone.

Princes Diana travels with
Prince Charles to Wales

for her first official visit
as a member of the Royal Family.

Went to Wales for three days

to do our visit as
Prince and Princess of Wales.

Being terribly sick,
carrying this child.

Hadn't told the world
I was pregnant.

Rained the whole time around Wales.

I wasn't easy.

I cried a lot in the car,
saying I couldn't get out.

I couldn't cope with the crowds.

"Why had they come to see us?
Someone help me."

He just said, "You've just
got to get out and do it."

"You just gotta get out."

He tried his hardest and he
did really well in that department.

Got me out.

And once I was out

I was able to do my bit.

But it cost me such a lot

because I hadn't got the energy...

'cause I was being sick
with my bulimia so much,

let alone, you know, the
support for him or vice versa.

It is a great pleasure for me
to come to Wales.

I look forward to returning
many times in the future.

Thank you.

Never got any praise
from Charles for it.

And I began to understand
that was absolutely normal.

INTERVIEWER:
When you fell down the stairs?

I threw myself down the stairs.

When we had William

we had to find a date in the diary
that suited him and his polo.

William had to be induced
because I couldn't handle

the press pressure any longer.

It was becoming unbearable.

It was as if everybody was
monitoring every day for me.

And I was aware that the
whole country was holding its breath.

INTERVIEWER: How good a dad
was he with the children?

At the beginning he loved
the nursery life.

He just couldn't wait to get back...

and do the bottle.

Came home, and then

postnatal depression
hit me hard.

And it wasn't so much the
baby that had produced it.

It was the baby that triggered off all
else that was going on in my mind.

If Charles didn't come home when he
said he was coming home,

I thought something dreadful
happened to him.

Tears, panic, all the rest of it.

He didn't see the panic.

I would just sit there, quietly.

Boy, was I troubled.

Everybody always said when
we were in the car,

"Oh, we're on the wrong side."

"We want to see her,
we don't want to see him."

And that's all we could hear
as we went down these crowds.

And, obviously,
he wasn't used to that.

Nor was I.

He took it out on me.
He was jealous.

I understood the jealousy,

but I couldn't explain that
I didn't ask for it.

I kept saying, "Whoever you married
would have been of interest..."

"...for the clothes, how she
handles this, that, and the other."

"And you build the building block
for your wife to stand on..."

"...to make her own
building block."

He didn't see that at all.

I learned to be a Royal
in one week.

I was thrown into the deep end,
which now I prefer it that way.

And nobody ever
helped me at all.

They'd be there to criticize but
never be there to say, "Well done."

When we came back
from our six-week tour

I was a different person.

I was more grown up,
more mature.

But not anything like what one
was going to go through

the process in the
next four or five years.

Between William and Harry
being born, it's total darkness.

I can't remember much,
I've blotted it out.

It was such pain.

INTERVIEWER: Now, they then had all
sorts of people for you to talk to.

Yes.

-Did you have any choice over it?
-No.

Dr. Mitchell came in every
evening at 6 o'clock

and I'd have to explain to him
about my conversations

with my husband during the day.

And there weren't many conversations,
it was more tears than anything else.

Because on the outside,
people were saying

I was giving my husband a hard time.

But I knew that I was just...

needed rest and patience and time

to adapt to all the roles that
were required of me overnight.

By then, there was
immense jealousy

because every single day I was
on the front of the newspapers.

Anyway, Harry appeared
by miracle.

Charles and I, we were
very, very close to each other

the six weeks before Harry was born.

The closest we've ever, ever
been and ever will have been.

And then, as suddenly
as Harry was born

it just went bang.

Our marriage.

The whole thing went
down the drain.

I knew Harry was going to be a
boy because I saw on the scan.

And Charles, all he wanted was a girl.

He wanted two children
and he wanted a girl.

I knew Harry was a boy
and I didn't tell him.

INTERVIEWER: Who chose the names?

Something inside of me
closed off.

And by then I knew
he'd gone back to his lady.

But somehow we managed
to have Harry.

And Harry is a complete joy

and is actually closer to
his father than perhaps William.

INTERVIEWER: And then there was
an ITV film.

I was basically
bribed to do that.

First of all...

American network was going
to do it for Operation Raleigh

and they were going to raise
some incredible amount of money

and I said I didn't
want to do it.

And Charles said,
"Okay, I'll do it."

They came back
and said, "No, no, we want

both of you, or
we don't want any of you."

So I said, "No."
So they dropped Charles

and then ITN
picked it up and said,

"If you wife
does it with you..."

"...we will pay you such
and such amount."

-So there was the bribe.
-Into what?

Into the Charities Trusts.

They followed us around
for 18 months.

Very strange.

INTERVIEWER: In what way was the Queen
involved with doctors of your bulimia?

-None.
-None at all?

-None at all.
-Did she know about it at all?

She indicated to me
that she thought

that was the reason why
our marriage had gone downhill,

was because Charles was having such
a difficult time with Diana's bulimia.

-Right. Did she indicate that to you?
-Yes, she told me that.

She hung the coat on the hook,
so to speak.

And it made me realize
that they all saw that

as the cause of
the marriage [problems]

not one of the
symptoms of the marriage.

INTERVIEWER: Any wise heads during
the whole thing that were helpful?

And it hadn't made any reaction
whatsoever to him.

And she went for me, she said,
"You mustn't let this side down..."

And I turned on her and I said,
"Give me some credit..."

"...that I haven't troubled any of you
in my family for five years about this."

And, obviously, their perception
is very different now.

They're annoyed by the
lack of support from him.

Then things got a bit
tricky on the bulimia front.

My husband told me off.

He said I could have passed out
quietly somewhere else.

INTERVIEWER: Was anyone helpful about
the press generally?

No, they were all running around,
they couldn't understand.

It was like a sort of Marilyn Monroe
publicity, you know?

She only had to
click a heel

and the whole world was
at her feet. It was very odd.

WASHINGTON, D.C.

But I'm never comfortable in it.

Never ever.

I was absolutely mesmerized
by the whole thing, couldn't believe it.

They all thought, "Oh, she's got lots
of press, she must be doing all right."

But that summer

I sat myself down in Scotland.

I remember saying to myself,
"Right, Diana, it's not good."

"You've got to change it
right round, with this publicity."

I remember my conversation so well,
sitting by water.

I always sit by water
when contemplating.

"You've got to grow up."

"You've got to be responsible."

"You've got to understand that..."

"...you can't do what other
26 and 27-year-olds are doing."

"You've been chosen to this position..."

"...so you must adapt to it
and stop fighting it."

And I knew I could do it

if I chose a different angle.

I'd always wanted to hug
people in hospital beds

and this particular man was so ill,

so I thought, "Right, Diana, do it.
C'mon, just do it."

So I gave him an enormous hug
and it was just so touching

as he clung to me
and he cried and

it was wonderful,
it made him laugh.

One of the worst things to ever
happen was when we went to Wales

after the flooding

and there'd been a tremendous
amount of press about us being apart.

And I burst into tears
when he got in the plane.

He said, "Oh, God, what's the matter?"

I said, "I've had a very
bad time with the press."

Because they'd literally
haunted me or hunted me.

And he said, "Well, if you were in your
right place, none of this would happen."

Indicating that I should
be up in Scotland.

It was a real cry for help.

I wasn't just blubbing
because I'd just turned the taps on.

It was just desperation.

I said, "I choose to work,
because that's my role in life."

INTERVIEWER: What do you think
woke you up?

I think the bulimia, actually.

I suddenly realized what
I was going to lose if I let go.

And was it worth it?

So, that's how I got
involved with the...

shrink called Dr. Lipsedge.

Walked in, he said, "How many times
have you tried to do yourself in?"

I thought, "I don't believe
this question."

So, I heard myself say,
"Four times."

I asked all these questions
and I was able to be completely honest.

He said, "I'm going to come
and see you once a week for an hour..."

"...and we're just going
to talk it through."

He said, "There's nothing
wrong with you."

And when he said that,
a door opens.

I thought, "Well, maybe
it's not me."

And he helped me
get back my self-esteem.

Your hair looks nice.

Looks all right?

One of the bravest moments
of my entire ten years

was when we went
to this ghastly party.

It was the 40th birthday
party for Camilla's sister

and nobody expected me to turn up,

but again, a voice inside me said,
"Just go for the hell of it."

So, I psyched myself up
something awful.

I decided that I wasn't going to
kiss Camilla hello anymore.

I was going to shake
hands with her.

This was my big step.

Well, he needled me the
whole way down to Ham Common.

Trying to bait me.

"Why are you coming tonight?"

Needle, needle, needle, needle
the whole way down.

I didn't bite,
but I was very, very on edge.

I walk into house and...

stick my hand out to
Camilla for the first time

and I think, "Phew, got over that."

We were all upstairs and
I was chatting away

and I suddenly noticed there was
no Camilla and no Charles upstairs.

So, this disturbs me.

So, I make my way to
go downstairs for him.

I know what I'm going
to confront myself with.

They try and stop me
from going downstairs.

"Diana, don't go down there."

"I have to go and find my husband."

I go downstairs and there's a very happy
little threesome going on downstairs.

Camilla, Charles, and some other man
who I don't really know, chatting away.

So I thought, "Right,
this is your moment."

So I went and sat down
and joined in the conversation

as though we were
best friends.

And I said, "Camilla, I'd love
to have a word with you, if possible."

And she got really uncomfortable
and put her head down

and said, "Oh, yes, fine."

I said to the two men,
"Okay, boys..."

"...I'm just gonna have a
quick word with Camilla..."

"...and I'll be up in a minute."

And they shot upstairs
like chickens with no heads

and I could feel upstairs
all hell breaking loose.

"What is she going to do?"

So, I said, "Camilla, would
you like to sit down?"

So we sat down,
and I was terrified of her.

And I said, "Camilla, I'd
just like you to know..."

"...that I know exactly
what's going on."

And she said, "I don't know
what you're talking about."

And I said, "I know what's going
on between you and Charles..."

"...and I just want you to know that."

And she said to me, very
interesting, she said to me,

"You've got everything
you've ever wanted."

"All the men in the world
fall in love with you."

"You've got two beautiful children.
What more would you want?"

And I didn't believe
what she said anyway.

So I said, "I want my husband."

And she said, "Well."
And she looked down the whole time.

I said to Camilla,
"I'm sorry I'm in the way."

"I obviously am in the way...

"...and it must be hell
for both of you."

"But I do know what is going on,
don't treat me like an idiot."

In the car on the way back, my
husband was over me like a bad rash.

I cried like I've never cried before.

It was anger, it was seven years
of pent-up anger coming out.

I cried and cried and cried.

I didn't sleep that night.

And the next morning, I woke up
and I felt different.

A shift, a tremendous shift.

I'd done something,
said what I felt.

Still the old jealousy
and the anger swilling around,

but it wasn't so deathly
as it had been before.

And I said to him at the
weekend three days later

I said, "Oh, darling, I'm
sure you'll want to know..."

"what I said to Camilla."

"There's no secret, you may ask her."

"I just said I loved you..."

"...and there's nothing
wrong in that."

INTERVIEWER:
Think you might be interested...

Oh, nice.

Some quite interesting bits
and pieces in there.

INTERVIEWER:
Now, what's he got down here?

Questions, here we are.

What have been the
turning moments in life

that turned you from victim to victor?

Wow, love the way he says that.

Gosh, can't remember
what triggered it off.

I suppose last summer when
Sam cut my hair differently,

it let out something
quite different.

And when my bulimia
finished two years ago

I suddenly felt so much stronger,
mentally and physically

so I was able to...

soldier on.

FEBRUARY 11, 1992

Diana visits the Taj Mahal in India,

a landmark famous for being built
as a grand romantic gesture.

Despite being in India for the trip,
Charles declines to join Diana.

Within?

I am performing a duty
as the Princess of Wales

as my time is allocated.

And if I go anywhere else,
if I go somewhere else,

if life changes, it changes.

But at least when I finish my,

as I see it, my 12 or 15
years as Princess of Wales,

I don't see it as any
longer, funny enough...

I know, when I turn my light off
at night, I did my best.

I always knew I would never be
the next Queen, put it that way.

And no one said that to me.
I just knew it.

A very what, Your Royal Highness?

Healing experience.

In what way?

You work that out for yourself.

If I was able to write
my own script

I would say that I would

hope my husband
would go off

with his lady

and sort that out

and leave me
and the children

to carry the Wales name

through to the time
when William

ascends the throne.

And I'd be behind
them all the way.

And I can do this job so
much better on my own.

I don't feel trapped.

I see myself one day living abroad.

And you once said to me
last August, you said to me,

"You're going to marry someone
who is foreign."

"Or got a lot of foreign
blood in them."

I thought it was always
interesting, that.

COLTHURST: Are you optimistic
about the future?

I have been positive
about it for some time...

though obviously there's
endless question marks.

Be quite nice to go and do things
like a weekend in Paris.

I know one day,
if I play the game of life

I will be able to have those things
which I've always pined for.

And they'll be that much
more special

because I'll be that
much more older

and be able to appreciate
them that much more.

I remember when I first
arrived on the scene,

I always put my head down.

Now, from my point of view,
I interpret it,

yes, it did look sulky.

Just so frightened of the
attention I was getting.

Head down.

The bit I can remember is that
I didn't want to do anything on my own.

I was too frightened.

I mean, the thought of meeting
anyone on my own sent tremors.

So, I stuck with whatever
Charles did.

And if it included a wife, I went with
him all the way, wherever.

I was just so desperate.

I knew what was
wrong with me...

but nobody else around
me understood me.

I needed rest and to be looked
after inside my house

and for people to
understand the torment

and the anguish
going on in my head.

Because I had
a smile on my face,

everybody thought I was
having a wonderful time.

That's why they
chose to think

and they were happier
thinking that.

Would you leave the format
of the monarchy as it is now

or would you alter it for William?

I am altering it for him [William],
but in a subtle way.

People aren't aware of it,
but I am.

Through William
learning what I do

and his father
to a certain extent,

he has got an insight of
what's coming his way.

He's not hidden upstairs
with the governess.

COLTHURST: What would you say your
greatest achievement has been?

To not bow down
to pressure.

You know, not let
all this chat disturb me.

It took me six years to get
comfortable in this skin.

And now...

I'm ready to go...
forward.

I had always this thing inside of me
that I was going somewhere different.

Do you remember the
moment you fell in love?

No... it was gradual.

It wasn't anything dramatic.

One blink and it would
have gone, yes.