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1
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♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2
00:00:02,726 --> 00:00:05,893
(exciting beat music)
3
00:00:10,320 --> 00:00:11,153
- Careful.
4
00:00:12,020 --> 00:00:12,853
- Ryan.
5
00:00:14,510 --> 00:00:16,680
I don't think I know how to French kiss
6
00:00:16,680 --> 00:00:19,193
and I need you to teach me.
7
00:00:20,240 --> 00:00:21,340
- Okay.
8
00:00:21,340 --> 00:00:22,390
Teach you how?
9
00:00:22,390 --> 00:00:23,390
- Well, demonstrate.
10
00:00:23,390 --> 00:00:25,120
Kiss me and show me how it's done.
11
00:00:25,120 --> 00:00:26,240
- Okay.
12
00:00:26,240 --> 00:00:29,130
Wait, shouldn't you be doing
this with your girlfriend?
13
00:00:29,130 --> 00:00:30,760
- Oh, Evan?
14
00:00:30,760 --> 00:00:32,440
She's too polite to tell me
15
00:00:32,440 --> 00:00:34,360
that my kissing skills could improve
16
00:00:34,360 --> 00:00:36,493
but I know she wants me to be better.
17
00:00:36,493 --> 00:00:37,510
- Yeah.
18
00:00:37,510 --> 00:00:38,740
- Did she say something to you?
19
00:00:38,740 --> 00:00:39,740
- What?
20
00:00:39,740 --> 00:00:40,630
No.
21
00:00:40,630 --> 00:00:41,463
No.
22
00:00:41,463 --> 00:00:43,400
She said nothing to be about
you being a bad kisser.
23
00:00:43,400 --> 00:00:44,780
- She said I was a bad kisser?
24
00:00:44,780 --> 00:00:46,230
- She didn't but
25
00:00:47,160 --> 00:00:49,020
okay, let's practice.
26
00:00:49,020 --> 00:00:51,165
Kiss me like you kiss her.
27
00:00:51,165 --> 00:00:54,248
(muffled beat music)
28
00:00:58,820 --> 00:00:59,880
- How was I?
29
00:00:59,880 --> 00:01:00,713
- Great.
30
00:01:02,540 --> 00:01:04,070
- I am a bad kisser.
31
00:01:04,070 --> 00:01:07,000
- Maybe you should open
your mouth a little.
32
00:01:07,000 --> 00:01:08,360
Relax your lips.
33
00:01:08,360 --> 00:01:10,953
You wanna go from here to here.
34
00:01:12,083 --> 00:01:12,916
- Okay.
35
00:01:21,610 --> 00:01:22,740
- Okay, it's like you're pecking
36
00:01:22,740 --> 00:01:25,490
Like, "mwuah, mwuah," little kisses.
37
00:01:25,490 --> 00:01:29,580
Which is super sweet if
that's what you're into.
38
00:01:29,580 --> 00:01:31,440
- But that's no good.
39
00:01:31,440 --> 00:01:33,350
- It's sort of like an extended version
40
00:01:33,350 --> 00:01:34,815
of kissing your sister.
41
00:01:34,815 --> 00:01:35,648
- Ew.
42
00:01:35,648 --> 00:01:36,600
- Yeah, it's not hot.
43
00:01:38,700 --> 00:01:39,850
Listen,
44
00:01:39,850 --> 00:01:42,480
open your mouth, relax your lips,
45
00:01:42,480 --> 00:01:43,483
follow my lead.
46
00:01:54,819 --> 00:01:57,819
(somber beat music)
47
00:02:06,747 --> 00:02:09,390
- Wow, that was amazing, is
that how it's supposed to be?
48
00:02:09,390 --> 00:02:10,310
- Yes.
49
00:02:10,310 --> 00:02:11,500
You probably should've figured that out
50
00:02:11,500 --> 00:02:12,710
when you were like 13.
51
00:02:12,710 --> 00:02:15,780
- I wasn't kissing a lot
of girls when I was 13.
52
00:02:15,780 --> 00:02:17,310
- That's what boys are for.
53
00:02:17,310 --> 00:02:19,780
Lifting heavy boxes and
practicing making out.
54
00:02:19,780 --> 00:02:21,840
- Oh, you're a wizard, I
can't wait to show Evan.
55
00:02:21,840 --> 00:02:23,370
Or is that too much?
56
00:02:23,370 --> 00:02:25,330
- Definitely try it on Evan.
57
00:02:25,330 --> 00:02:26,163
She'll love it.
58
00:02:28,690 --> 00:02:32,610
So, this has been super
fun and not at all boring
59
00:02:32,610 --> 00:02:34,883
but I'm gonna go mingle.
60
00:02:35,844 --> 00:02:37,060
Why don't you go find Evan
61
00:02:37,060 --> 00:02:39,040
and show her all this fun
stuff I just taught you.
62
00:02:39,040 --> 00:02:39,873
- Are you kidding?
63
00:02:39,873 --> 00:02:41,103
I have so many questions.
64
00:02:43,510 --> 00:02:44,816
- Oh, look, my drink is almost gone.
65
00:02:44,816 --> 00:02:45,880
Why don't you get me another one
66
00:02:45,880 --> 00:02:49,337
and I'll go talk to people who aren't you.
67
00:02:51,130 --> 00:02:51,963
- Ryan,
68
00:02:54,010 --> 00:02:56,250
you're the best friend a girl could have.
69
00:02:56,250 --> 00:02:57,770
- Thanks.
70
00:02:57,770 --> 00:02:58,603
I know.
71
00:03:02,274 --> 00:03:05,441
(exciting beat music)
72
00:03:20,280 --> 00:03:22,280
- Why are we hiding away from the world?
73
00:03:25,238 --> 00:03:26,900
- Because I have the good shit.
74
00:03:26,900 --> 00:03:28,670
Out there, they have snickelfritz,
75
00:03:28,670 --> 00:03:32,800
and this, this is 27 year old
small batch Kentucky bourbon.
76
00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:34,420
And I don't like to share.
77
00:03:34,420 --> 00:03:35,540
Ever.
78
00:03:35,540 --> 00:03:36,790
- You're sharing with me.
79
00:03:38,058 --> 00:03:40,430
- That's because I'm one
generous motherfucker.
80
00:03:40,430 --> 00:03:42,223
I'm a god unto my people.
81
00:03:44,792 --> 00:03:46,300
- This is older than I am.
82
00:03:46,300 --> 00:03:47,520
How expensive is this?
83
00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:48,353
- Very.
84
00:03:48,353 --> 00:03:50,063
Costs more than your dignity.
85
00:03:50,063 --> 00:03:51,480
- Well that's not saying much.
86
00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:52,673
- Skol.
87
00:03:52,673 --> 00:03:55,840
- Of course it is, it's got ice in it.
88
00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,020
- Hey, lezlords.
89
00:03:58,020 --> 00:03:59,390
Hate to break up the gay-gay meeting
90
00:03:59,390 --> 00:04:02,163
but your girlfriend is out
there making out with Ryan.
91
00:04:03,030 --> 00:04:04,320
- Really?
92
00:04:04,320 --> 00:04:06,940
- I think she's giving her
kissing lessons out of pity.
93
00:04:06,940 --> 00:04:08,490
- Good, let's hope it works.
94
00:04:08,490 --> 00:04:09,980
- It's really sad though.
95
00:04:09,980 --> 00:04:11,440
You might wanna get out there and stop her
96
00:04:11,440 --> 00:04:13,960
before she embarrasses herself anymore.
97
00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:14,793
- Okay.
98
00:04:18,610 --> 00:04:22,514
Listen, my dad gave this
to me when I quit smoking.
99
00:04:22,514 --> 00:04:24,200
Very expensive.
100
00:04:24,200 --> 00:04:26,200
Guard it with your life.
101
00:04:28,440 --> 00:04:31,290
- Evan, you never quit smoking.
102
00:04:31,290 --> 00:04:32,440
- He doesn't know that.
103
00:04:34,864 --> 00:04:36,026
- You're beautiful.
104
00:04:36,026 --> 00:04:37,109
Never change.
105
00:04:38,570 --> 00:04:40,163
- Hey, you wanna get fucked up?
106
00:04:41,078 --> 00:04:42,641
- Yeah.
107
00:04:42,641 --> 00:04:44,455
- [Trista] Cool.
108
00:04:44,455 --> 00:04:45,288
Have fun.
109
00:04:49,670 --> 00:04:51,663
(thudding)
110
00:04:51,663 --> 00:04:54,246
(upbeat music)
111
00:05:11,582 --> 00:05:16,582
♪ Make your feelings lie like a feather ♪
112
00:05:20,114 --> 00:05:25,114
♪ Don't let it harden
in this cold weather ♪
113
00:05:27,074 --> 00:05:30,982
♪ We can be better friends ♪
114
00:05:30,982 --> 00:05:33,012
♪ I'm falling ♪
115
00:05:33,012 --> 00:05:35,630
♪ It's not our end ♪
116
00:05:35,630 --> 00:05:40,450
♪ You will see when we leave ♪
117
00:05:40,450 --> 00:05:44,384
♪ Together ♪
118
00:05:44,384 --> 00:05:47,467
(muffled beat music)
119
00:05:51,842 --> 00:05:52,675
- Hi.
120
00:05:52,675 --> 00:05:54,279
- Excuse me.
(gasping)
121
00:05:54,279 --> 00:05:56,529
(laughing)
122
00:05:57,410 --> 00:05:58,243
Excuse me, miss.
123
00:06:00,240 --> 00:06:03,180
I'd be careful walking around
with two premium beverages
124
00:06:03,180 --> 00:06:04,880
when this party's down to
six-pack of wine coolers
125
00:06:04,880 --> 00:06:06,120
and a bottle of Maneschewitz.
126
00:06:06,120 --> 00:06:08,603
- We could attract some
unsavory characters.
127
00:06:10,220 --> 00:06:13,070
- Whose premium cocktail am I drinking?
128
00:06:13,070 --> 00:06:14,363
Let me guess.
129
00:06:15,509 --> 00:06:16,342
The spoiled little rich girl
130
00:06:16,342 --> 00:06:19,750
whose external locus of identity
needs constant validation?
131
00:06:19,750 --> 00:06:22,550
- [Bridget] Validation is
for parking, not people.
132
00:06:22,550 --> 00:06:24,283
- Maybe the nurse practitioner
and soon-to-be divorcee
133
00:06:24,283 --> 00:06:27,760
who readily expounds upon the
virtues of anarcho-capitalism.
134
00:06:27,760 --> 00:06:29,410
- I once dabbled in anarchism myself.
135
00:06:29,410 --> 00:06:32,000
Bear in mind I was 15
and obsessed with Crass.
136
00:06:32,000 --> 00:06:33,920
Say what you will about the
convenience of its tenets,
137
00:06:33,920 --> 00:06:35,273
but at least it's an ethos.
138
00:06:36,620 --> 00:06:37,747
- Perhaps you'd go for
the very emo Jewish girl
139
00:06:37,747 --> 00:06:40,520
in the back room who's in
dire need of companionship.
140
00:06:40,520 --> 00:06:43,290
- At least now we know who
brought the Manischewitz.
141
00:06:43,290 --> 00:06:44,123
What type are you?
142
00:06:44,123 --> 00:06:45,760
- I hate to break it to you, miss,
143
00:06:46,630 --> 00:06:49,250
but I am completely unavailable.
144
00:06:49,250 --> 00:06:50,140
- How unfortunate.
145
00:06:50,140 --> 00:06:51,430
Who is the lucky lady?
146
00:06:51,430 --> 00:06:52,263
Forgive me,
147
00:06:52,263 --> 00:06:55,463
I assume it's a women of
whom you are speaking.
148
00:06:56,530 --> 00:06:57,860
- No apology necessary.
149
00:06:57,860 --> 00:07:01,800
And yes it is a beautiful,
brilliant, remarkable woman.
150
00:07:01,800 --> 00:07:02,633
- Tell me more.
151
00:07:02,633 --> 00:07:04,040
- Blonde hair, blue eyes,
152
00:07:04,040 --> 00:07:06,350
about yeah high.
153
00:07:06,350 --> 00:07:09,700
She's a medieval scholar
specializing in Dark Ages weaponry.
154
00:07:09,700 --> 00:07:11,480
- She does sound remarkable
155
00:07:11,480 --> 00:07:13,130
and also very familiar.
156
00:07:13,130 --> 00:07:13,963
- Maybe you know her.
157
00:07:13,963 --> 00:07:15,280
Her name is Bridget.
158
00:07:15,280 --> 00:07:16,370
- That's my name.
159
00:07:16,370 --> 00:07:17,370
- She's supposed to be here tonight
160
00:07:17,370 --> 00:07:19,260
but I can't seem to find her.
161
00:07:19,260 --> 00:07:20,470
- Oh, this could be dangerous.
162
00:07:20,470 --> 00:07:21,860
She might see me flirting with you.
163
00:07:21,860 --> 00:07:23,430
- Then what?
164
00:07:23,430 --> 00:07:25,710
- Well, I'm sure she wouldn't
want me taking what's hers.
165
00:07:25,710 --> 00:07:27,650
I suppose I should seize
the opportunity now
166
00:07:27,650 --> 00:07:28,789
and kiss you while I can.
167
00:07:28,789 --> 00:07:31,130
- I wouldn't want to
put you in harm's way.
168
00:07:31,130 --> 00:07:33,719
- I think you're worth the risk.
169
00:07:33,719 --> 00:07:36,969
(muffled upbeat music)
170
00:07:44,102 --> 00:07:45,019
- Yes, yes.
171
00:07:46,156 --> 00:07:49,723
♪ A future far away ♪
172
00:07:49,723 --> 00:07:53,210
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
173
00:07:53,210 --> 00:07:57,143
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
174
00:07:57,143 --> 00:08:00,425
(exciting beat music)
175
00:08:00,425 --> 00:08:05,425
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
176
00:08:07,539 --> 00:08:12,539
♪ I would pave new frontiers for you ♪
177
00:08:14,665 --> 00:08:19,665
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
178
00:08:21,804 --> 00:08:26,804
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
179
00:08:26,900 --> 00:08:29,812
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
180
00:08:29,812 --> 00:08:33,783
♪ Through complication ♪
181
00:08:33,783 --> 00:08:36,606
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
182
00:08:36,606 --> 00:08:40,897
♪ Through the unknown ♪
183
00:08:40,897 --> 00:08:43,686
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
184
00:08:43,686 --> 00:08:47,415
♪ With determination ♪
185
00:08:47,415 --> 00:08:50,608
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
186
00:08:50,608 --> 00:08:55,608
♪ I'll make sure you never be alone ♪
187
00:08:57,364 --> 00:09:02,364
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
188
00:09:04,465 --> 00:09:09,465
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
189
00:09:11,642 --> 00:09:16,642
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
190
00:09:18,730 --> 00:09:23,621
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
191
00:09:23,621 --> 00:09:25,741
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
192
00:09:25,741 --> 00:09:30,671
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
193
00:09:30,671 --> 00:09:32,995
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
194
00:09:32,995 --> 00:09:37,840
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
195
00:09:37,840 --> 00:09:40,241
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
196
00:09:40,241 --> 00:09:41,140
(glass shattering)
197
00:09:41,140 --> 00:09:43,307
(moaning)
198
00:09:47,605 --> 00:09:50,022
(whimpering)
199
00:09:52,619 --> 00:09:53,452
- Evan?
200
00:09:57,641 --> 00:09:58,831
Evan.
201
00:09:58,831 --> 00:09:59,852
- What?
202
00:09:59,852 --> 00:10:03,122
- I think there's someone in the kitchen.
203
00:10:03,122 --> 00:10:04,506
I think there's someone in the kitchen.
204
00:10:04,506 --> 00:10:05,339
- Huh?
205
00:10:07,111 --> 00:10:08,496
- Get my ax.
206
00:10:08,496 --> 00:10:09,329
Help me get my ax.
207
00:10:11,395 --> 00:10:13,645
(groaning)
208
00:10:20,066 --> 00:10:21,433
(screaming)
209
00:10:21,433 --> 00:10:22,266
Ryan!
210
00:10:22,266 --> 00:10:23,099
- Oh my God.
211
00:10:23,099 --> 00:10:24,830
I didn't mean to wake you guys up.
212
00:10:24,830 --> 00:10:27,110
- How is she in here?
213
00:10:27,110 --> 00:10:32,060
- I gave her a key and a code
to the alarm system, sorry.
214
00:10:32,060 --> 00:10:34,652
- [Ryan] Bridget, you look hot.
215
00:10:34,652 --> 00:10:35,942
Is that La Perla?
216
00:10:35,942 --> 00:10:38,260
- No, I'd rather have Victoria Secret
217
00:10:38,260 --> 00:10:40,720
and an extra five hundred
bucks in my pocket.
218
00:10:40,720 --> 00:10:42,580
- To what do we owe the
honor of your home invasion?
219
00:10:42,580 --> 00:10:44,873
- Guys, this is intense.
220
00:10:45,800 --> 00:10:46,650
I've been poisoned.
221
00:10:46,650 --> 00:10:47,483
- [Bridget] What?
222
00:10:47,483 --> 00:10:48,866
- Yeah, someone tried to dose me.
223
00:10:48,866 --> 00:10:49,699
- [Bridget] Who?
224
00:10:49,699 --> 00:10:52,380
- I don't know but my
drink tasted really funny
225
00:10:52,380 --> 00:10:54,840
and I felt really weird,
so I left and came here.
226
00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,690
- Do we need to take you to the hospital?
227
00:10:56,690 --> 00:10:57,921
- No.
228
00:10:57,921 --> 00:10:59,090
I only had one sip.
229
00:10:59,090 --> 00:11:00,990
I just feel way drunker than I should.
230
00:11:01,960 --> 00:11:05,620
- Okay, well what did you do
with the rest of the drink?
231
00:11:05,620 --> 00:11:08,600
- I gave it to Dov and told
her to take care of it.
232
00:11:08,600 --> 00:11:10,730
- Ryan, this is very important.
233
00:11:10,730 --> 00:11:14,200
Now what exactly did you say to Dov?
234
00:11:14,200 --> 00:11:16,093
- I told her to take care of it.
235
00:11:17,480 --> 00:11:18,313
Oh no.
236
00:11:20,240 --> 00:11:22,741
- We're leaving, now!
237
00:11:22,741 --> 00:11:25,158
(beat music)
238
00:11:33,993 --> 00:11:34,826
- [Bridget] What's happening?
239
00:11:34,826 --> 00:11:35,659
- She's fucked up.
240
00:11:35,659 --> 00:11:36,492
Who knows?
241
00:11:36,492 --> 00:11:38,320
Rope, G, K.
242
00:11:38,320 --> 00:11:39,308
- [Dov] L-M-N-O-P.
243
00:11:39,308 --> 00:11:40,853
- Oh my God, it's all my fault.
244
00:11:40,853 --> 00:11:41,686
(laughing)
245
00:11:41,686 --> 00:11:43,420
- [Trista] I knew you
idiots had a hand in this.
246
00:11:43,420 --> 00:11:44,320
- I didn't know.
247
00:11:44,320 --> 00:11:46,857
Someone roofied me and I gave it to Dov
248
00:11:46,857 --> 00:11:48,500
and I guess I didn't make it clear.
249
00:11:48,500 --> 00:11:50,780
- Trista, you're a nurse,
what's the prognosis?
250
00:11:50,780 --> 00:11:52,750
- [Trista] It depends on how much she had.
251
00:11:52,750 --> 00:11:53,583
- Just one drink.
252
00:11:53,583 --> 00:11:55,130
- Shouldn't we call the police?
253
00:11:55,130 --> 00:11:56,740
I mean, we need to
figure out who did this.
254
00:11:56,740 --> 00:11:58,300
- [Trista] The police
don't give a shit about us.
255
00:11:58,300 --> 00:11:59,338
- Is that true?
256
00:11:59,338 --> 00:12:01,688
- [Evan] Will she be
needing medical attention?
257
00:12:03,110 --> 00:12:04,230
- Just keep an eye on her.
258
00:12:04,230 --> 00:12:06,950
- [Dov] You know, I can hear
everything you're saying.
259
00:12:06,950 --> 00:12:08,921
- How is she still conscience?
260
00:12:08,921 --> 00:12:11,247
- She must've not had enough to pass out.
261
00:12:11,247 --> 00:12:13,130
- I have a strong constitution.
262
00:12:13,130 --> 00:12:15,330
I've built up a really high tolerance
263
00:12:15,330 --> 00:12:16,803
to controlled substances.
264
00:12:18,220 --> 00:12:19,770
- Get those people out of here.
265
00:12:24,040 --> 00:12:24,873
- [Ryan] Party's over!
266
00:12:24,873 --> 00:12:25,766
- [Trista] Everybody get out!
267
00:12:25,766 --> 00:12:26,599
- [Woman] What?
268
00:12:26,599 --> 00:12:27,432
- [Ryan] Get out!
269
00:12:27,432 --> 00:12:28,265
- [Woman] Why?
270
00:12:28,265 --> 00:12:29,626
(party members groaning)
271
00:12:29,626 --> 00:12:31,324
- [Ryan] Out, come on, get out!
272
00:12:31,324 --> 00:12:32,193
Out!
273
00:12:32,193 --> 00:12:33,099
Everybody get out!
274
00:12:33,099 --> 00:12:34,330
We have to, now!
275
00:12:34,330 --> 00:12:35,963
- No, no, it's too much.
276
00:12:35,963 --> 00:12:38,043
- [Ryan] Out, out, now, come on!
277
00:12:41,309 --> 00:12:42,142
Come on!
278
00:12:43,722 --> 00:12:45,972
(laughing)
279
00:12:48,907 --> 00:12:52,220
- I don't know if I'm laughing
so much because I'm so high
280
00:12:52,220 --> 00:12:55,200
or because I'm dying.
281
00:12:55,200 --> 00:12:56,473
- You're not dying.
282
00:12:57,670 --> 00:12:59,420
- We're all dying.
283
00:12:59,420 --> 00:13:01,670
- She's being fatalistic,
that's a good sign.
284
00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:04,793
- That's it.
285
00:13:06,851 --> 00:13:08,345
Don't worry, girl.
286
00:13:08,345 --> 00:13:09,178
I got you.
287
00:13:10,930 --> 00:13:11,763
- Evan?
288
00:13:13,010 --> 00:13:15,963
There's something really major
I wanna tell you right now.
289
00:13:21,410 --> 00:13:23,577
(gagging)
290
00:13:26,250 --> 00:13:29,023
- Did you know they had
bras in the 14th Century?
291
00:13:30,990 --> 00:13:33,338
- Does that mean they
also had a second base?
292
00:13:33,338 --> 00:13:35,588
(giggling)
293
00:13:39,672 --> 00:13:41,089
I have some news.
294
00:13:42,060 --> 00:13:42,923
My father,
295
00:13:43,850 --> 00:13:46,240
my father is running for Senate.
296
00:13:46,240 --> 00:13:47,470
- State or?
297
00:13:47,470 --> 00:13:48,900
- US Senate.
298
00:13:48,900 --> 00:13:50,650
And he wants me to be campaign chair.
299
00:13:50,650 --> 00:13:51,750
- Governor wasn't enough?
300
00:13:51,750 --> 00:13:54,350
- For my father, nothing is ever enough.
301
00:13:54,350 --> 00:13:56,210
- Must run in the family.
302
00:13:56,210 --> 00:13:57,690
You have to do it.
303
00:13:57,690 --> 00:13:58,690
- I will.
304
00:13:58,690 --> 00:14:00,300
There's one catch.
305
00:14:00,300 --> 00:14:02,360
He can't win as a Democrat again.
306
00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:03,960
This time he has to run as--
307
00:14:03,960 --> 00:14:05,210
- A Libertarian?
308
00:14:05,210 --> 00:14:06,283
- As a Republican.
309
00:14:07,940 --> 00:14:10,490
- You can't support a
Republican candidate.
310
00:14:10,490 --> 00:14:11,720
- I can if he's my dad.
311
00:14:11,720 --> 00:14:14,170
He'll be Republican in name only.
312
00:14:14,170 --> 00:14:15,560
He's a huge supporter of gay rights
313
00:14:15,560 --> 00:14:17,210
and everyone knows his daughter's a homo.
314
00:14:17,210 --> 00:14:18,123
- A major one.
315
00:14:19,550 --> 00:14:22,390
What about women's rights
and abortion rights?
316
00:14:22,390 --> 00:14:23,907
And immigrants' rights?
317
00:14:23,907 --> 00:14:25,140
- I'm not an immigrant.
318
00:14:25,140 --> 00:14:26,480
- Your grandparents were.
319
00:14:26,480 --> 00:14:27,720
- Someone's gonna chair his campaign,
320
00:14:27,720 --> 00:14:28,870
it might as well be me.
321
00:14:32,200 --> 00:14:33,590
- I just don't want you to do something
322
00:14:33,590 --> 00:14:35,219
you're later going to regret.
323
00:14:35,219 --> 00:14:37,288
- Regret it my favorite pastime.
324
00:14:37,288 --> 00:14:39,130
Every day I can pass along to him
325
00:14:39,130 --> 00:14:40,590
your Marxist feminist dialectic.
326
00:14:40,590 --> 00:14:44,197
- Oh, I love it when you talk nerdy to me.
327
00:14:44,197 --> 00:14:46,317
(chuckling)
328
00:14:46,317 --> 00:14:48,484
(moaning)
329
00:14:52,690 --> 00:14:53,523
- Marry me.
330
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:57,364
- I have other plans for today.
331
00:14:57,364 --> 00:14:59,614
(laughing)
332
00:15:01,387 --> 00:15:02,421
(moaning)
333
00:15:02,421 --> 00:15:03,650
Oh, you taste so sweet.
334
00:15:03,650 --> 00:15:06,020
- You taste better than being thin feels.
335
00:15:06,020 --> 00:15:08,270
(giggling)
336
00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:12,110
Is there another intruder in the house?
337
00:15:12,110 --> 00:15:13,290
- The very same one.
338
00:15:13,290 --> 00:15:15,230
I let Ryan in after
you crashed last night.
339
00:15:15,230 --> 00:15:17,570
She didn't want to sleep
alone in her new apartment.
340
00:15:17,570 --> 00:15:19,863
- We're not running a
social services agency.
341
00:15:22,252 --> 00:15:25,480
- I don't know about you guys
but I am ready for some vodka.
342
00:15:25,480 --> 00:15:26,735
Morning.
343
00:15:26,735 --> 00:15:29,902
(exciting beat music)
344
00:15:34,420 --> 00:15:38,220
So I get some phone call
from England, collect,
345
00:15:38,220 --> 00:15:40,540
and it's some nurse from some hospital
346
00:15:40,540 --> 00:15:43,520
informing me that my
father is on his deathbed.
347
00:15:43,520 --> 00:15:45,457
- Oh, Ryan, I'm so sorry.
348
00:15:45,457 --> 00:15:47,020
- I'm not.
349
00:15:47,020 --> 00:15:49,480
The old bastard has
been alive long enough.
350
00:15:49,480 --> 00:15:50,620
I'm ready for him to kick the bucket
351
00:15:50,620 --> 00:15:51,960
so I can collect my inheritance.
352
00:15:51,960 --> 00:15:53,160
- I thought you guys
got along pretty well.
353
00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,250
- We had a fabulous arrangement.
354
00:15:55,250 --> 00:15:57,300
He pays me five grand a month
355
00:15:57,300 --> 00:15:59,780
and his embarrassment
of a homosexual daughter
356
00:15:59,780 --> 00:16:02,238
stays on a different
continent and out of his life.
357
00:16:02,238 --> 00:16:04,110
- Oh, I didn't know it was that bad.
358
00:16:04,110 --> 00:16:05,444
- It could be worse.
359
00:16:05,444 --> 00:16:08,883
When I graduated, his initial
offer was three thousand.
360
00:16:10,310 --> 00:16:11,143
- Hey, babe.
361
00:16:13,767 --> 00:16:16,000
Have a nice day, ladies.
362
00:16:16,000 --> 00:16:17,453
- Where's my kiss?
363
00:16:18,662 --> 00:16:21,630
(laughing)
364
00:16:21,630 --> 00:16:23,620
Hey, is Evan going to work?
365
00:16:23,620 --> 00:16:25,220
But it's Saturday.
366
00:16:25,220 --> 00:16:27,900
Wait, sorry, since when
has Evan had a job?
367
00:16:27,900 --> 00:16:29,857
- Since her dad's running for Senate.
368
00:16:31,180 --> 00:16:32,773
And now,
369
00:16:34,270 --> 00:16:36,000
she's a Republican.
370
00:16:36,000 --> 00:16:37,790
- Oh my God.
371
00:16:37,790 --> 00:16:39,340
She's a sellout.
372
00:16:39,340 --> 00:16:42,060
What happened to our
dead-dog-dyke-Democrat?
373
00:16:42,060 --> 00:16:44,880
- She's rolling over and
playing conservative.
374
00:16:44,880 --> 00:16:48,160
And she keeps pushing me to marry her.
375
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:49,300
- I know.
376
00:16:49,300 --> 00:16:51,620
She won't stop taking about it.
377
00:16:51,620 --> 00:16:53,290
Don't you want to?
378
00:16:53,290 --> 00:16:54,510
- Yeah.
379
00:16:54,510 --> 00:16:55,343
Just
380
00:16:56,610 --> 00:16:58,390
not now.
381
00:16:58,390 --> 00:17:00,050
- You're gonna need some of this.
382
00:17:00,050 --> 00:17:02,870
- Glad to see last night
didn't put you off your game.
383
00:17:02,870 --> 00:17:03,820
- What do you mean?
384
00:17:06,310 --> 00:17:07,643
- You got roofied.
385
00:17:09,840 --> 00:17:10,673
- Oh, right.
386
00:17:12,430 --> 00:17:13,640
- Yeah.
387
00:17:13,640 --> 00:17:14,473
Well,
388
00:17:15,420 --> 00:17:17,416
so here's to getting married, then.
389
00:17:17,416 --> 00:17:18,249
And selling out.
390
00:17:18,249 --> 00:17:19,747
- Aren't those the same thing?
391
00:17:27,640 --> 00:17:28,820
- [Dov] Why does the universe go through
392
00:17:28,820 --> 00:17:30,483
all bother of existing at all?
393
00:17:31,320 --> 00:17:34,113
- Having a bout of
existential despair, I see.
394
00:17:34,113 --> 00:17:35,743
- What's the purpose of life?
395
00:17:37,840 --> 00:17:39,350
- That's a yes.
396
00:17:39,350 --> 00:17:40,560
- Well,
397
00:17:40,560 --> 00:17:43,090
most losers, present company included,
398
00:17:43,090 --> 00:17:44,530
would say it's
399
00:17:45,960 --> 00:17:47,400
love.
400
00:17:47,400 --> 00:17:48,233
- Wrong.
401
00:17:48,233 --> 00:17:50,730
Love is a capitalist
scheme that is pre-packaged
402
00:17:50,730 --> 00:17:52,620
and peddled to the masses.
403
00:17:52,620 --> 00:17:53,890
It's the perfect racket.
404
00:17:53,890 --> 00:17:55,963
It's selling dreams for cash.
405
00:17:56,860 --> 00:17:57,720
- I thought you'd be happy
406
00:17:57,720 --> 00:17:59,920
once Evan got you that
job at the newspaper.
407
00:18:01,000 --> 00:18:03,610
- Typing up engagement
announcements isn't writing.
408
00:18:03,610 --> 00:18:04,955
Although,
409
00:18:04,955 --> 00:18:08,570
I would recommend it to our
government as a form of torture.
410
00:18:08,570 --> 00:18:10,270
- You are so emo.
411
00:18:10,270 --> 00:18:11,570
You just need to get laid.
412
00:18:13,490 --> 00:18:14,590
- Love is an illusion.
413
00:18:18,060 --> 00:18:19,110
- So what is it then?
414
00:18:20,800 --> 00:18:21,633
- What's what?
415
00:18:21,633 --> 00:18:23,320
- [Trista] Your original question.
416
00:18:23,320 --> 00:18:24,320
The purpose of life.
417
00:18:25,760 --> 00:18:26,660
- I don't know.
418
00:18:26,660 --> 00:18:27,493
- I do.
419
00:18:29,310 --> 00:18:30,800
It's to have as much fun as we can
420
00:18:30,800 --> 00:18:32,700
before we're all sent to burn in Hell.
421
00:18:39,366 --> 00:18:42,449
(muffled beat music)
422
00:18:46,403 --> 00:18:48,653
(knocking)
423
00:18:53,401 --> 00:18:54,820
Up for some divorce proceedings?
424
00:18:54,820 --> 00:18:55,920
- Nice to see you too.
425
00:18:57,850 --> 00:18:59,590
- Good to be back.
426
00:18:59,590 --> 00:19:01,670
I like what you've done with the place.
427
00:19:01,670 --> 00:19:02,513
I guess.
428
00:19:05,368 --> 00:19:07,951
(upbeat music)
429
00:19:14,350 --> 00:19:17,603
And here I thought this wasn't
gonna be an amicable divorce.
430
00:19:23,298 --> 00:19:25,881
(upbeat music)
431
00:19:32,608 --> 00:19:35,525
(thunder rumbling)
432
00:19:38,475 --> 00:19:40,725
(knocking)
433
00:19:44,938 --> 00:19:47,013
- Come in, come in.
434
00:19:48,462 --> 00:19:51,420
I don't think you've seen this
place since I've moved here.
435
00:19:51,420 --> 00:19:54,190
- Business must be booming
in the tattoo industry.
436
00:19:54,190 --> 00:19:56,477
- This world is full of un-inked flesh.
437
00:19:56,477 --> 00:19:58,930
I'm going to change real fast.
438
00:19:58,930 --> 00:20:00,260
Make us a drink.
439
00:20:00,260 --> 00:20:02,370
Or one for each of us.
440
00:20:02,370 --> 00:20:03,973
You know what I'm saying.
441
00:20:11,790 --> 00:20:13,370
- Ryan!
442
00:20:13,370 --> 00:20:15,450
How are you affording all this?
443
00:20:15,450 --> 00:20:16,550
- [Ryan] Oh, you now,
444
00:20:16,550 --> 00:20:18,200
things are going really well at the shop
445
00:20:18,200 --> 00:20:22,120
and my dad helps me financially.
446
00:20:22,120 --> 00:20:24,040
- Bridget was telling me about that.
447
00:20:24,040 --> 00:20:25,310
She's worried about you.
448
00:20:25,310 --> 00:20:26,570
- [Ryan] Why?
449
00:20:26,570 --> 00:20:27,943
I'm doing fabulously.
450
00:20:41,010 --> 00:20:43,583
- Would you like to mix
that with something?
451
00:20:44,680 --> 00:20:45,730
- I like it straight.
452
00:20:48,690 --> 00:20:50,673
Pretty much the only
thing I like straight.
453
00:20:53,370 --> 00:20:54,997
Have a seat.
454
00:20:54,997 --> 00:20:55,930
(chuckling)
455
00:20:55,930 --> 00:20:57,300
- Tell me why I suddenly feel
456
00:20:57,300 --> 00:20:58,270
like I need to have a cigarette.
457
00:20:58,270 --> 00:20:59,920
- I'm about to drop a truth bomb.
458
00:21:01,344 --> 00:21:02,240
- In your own home?
459
00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,173
That's an act of domestic terrorism.
460
00:21:08,810 --> 00:21:09,723
Bombs away.
461
00:21:15,450 --> 00:21:17,733
- Dov, you have a major problem.
462
00:21:18,920 --> 00:21:20,610
- Why do I feel like
I'm at an intervention?
463
00:21:20,610 --> 00:21:22,310
- Because I'm interventioning you.
464
00:21:24,000 --> 00:21:24,870
- Okay.
465
00:21:24,870 --> 00:21:27,640
What's my drug of choice?
466
00:21:27,640 --> 00:21:29,220
- I want you to know that I understand you
467
00:21:29,220 --> 00:21:31,200
better than you realize.
468
00:21:31,200 --> 00:21:33,390
I think about you all the time,
469
00:21:33,390 --> 00:21:35,930
about what your life must be like
470
00:21:35,930 --> 00:21:37,530
and I know what your problem is.
471
00:21:38,450 --> 00:21:40,180
- This should be spectacular.
472
00:21:40,180 --> 00:21:41,943
- You're madly in love with Evan.
473
00:21:41,943 --> 00:21:44,193
(coughing)
474
00:21:46,170 --> 00:21:47,003
- Evan?
475
00:21:47,003 --> 00:21:47,836
- Yes.
476
00:21:47,836 --> 00:21:48,780
You're in love with her.
477
00:21:49,980 --> 00:21:52,580
- I'm sorry, did someone just
turn on the batshit signal?
478
00:21:52,580 --> 00:21:53,413
- It's like I've said.
479
00:21:53,413 --> 00:21:55,340
I've given a lot of thought
to your life situation
480
00:21:55,340 --> 00:21:57,820
and I've had some major insights.
481
00:21:57,820 --> 00:21:59,350
- Enlighten me.
482
00:21:59,350 --> 00:22:02,500
- You need a girl who's
gonna treat you like a lady.
483
00:22:02,500 --> 00:22:03,510
- As apposed to--
484
00:22:03,510 --> 00:22:06,130
- As apposed to most
girls who take one look
485
00:22:06,130 --> 00:22:09,470
at your bad girl persona
and immediately turn into
486
00:22:09,470 --> 00:22:11,840
pillow princesses and starfish.
487
00:22:11,840 --> 00:22:13,530
- Starfish?
488
00:22:13,530 --> 00:22:16,410
- They take their arms and their legs
489
00:22:16,410 --> 00:22:18,110
and they make you do all the work.
490
00:22:22,610 --> 00:22:25,320
You need someone who
will open doors for you.
491
00:22:25,320 --> 00:22:28,550
Put her hand on the small of your back,
492
00:22:28,550 --> 00:22:32,620
grab you by the back of
your head and kiss you.
493
00:22:32,620 --> 00:22:35,050
All the things a girl needs
to make her feel like a woman.
494
00:22:35,050 --> 00:22:39,240
And you know that Evan
can do that for you.
495
00:22:39,240 --> 00:22:41,000
- Sounds like you're the
one that's in love with her.
496
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:42,990
- Please, me?
497
00:22:42,990 --> 00:22:46,610
If I wanted Evan, I'd
have had her already.
498
00:22:46,610 --> 00:22:49,850
Look, I get it, Evan is
our fearless leader but
499
00:22:49,850 --> 00:22:52,310
she's also in a serious
longest of terms relationship
500
00:22:52,310 --> 00:22:53,170
with my best friend.
501
00:22:53,170 --> 00:22:55,550
- Ryan, there are delusional states
502
00:22:55,550 --> 00:22:56,770
and there's full on psychosis.
503
00:22:56,770 --> 00:22:57,603
- Prove it.
504
00:22:58,670 --> 00:23:00,130
Kiss me.
505
00:23:00,130 --> 00:23:01,690
- No, I'm not Bridget.
506
00:23:01,690 --> 00:23:02,930
- You heard about that?
507
00:23:02,930 --> 00:23:04,800
Kissing lessons out of pity?
508
00:23:04,800 --> 00:23:05,950
- It got around.
509
00:23:05,950 --> 00:23:07,630
A concept I'm sure you're familiar with.
510
00:23:07,630 --> 00:23:09,130
- Come on.
511
00:23:09,130 --> 00:23:11,490
Everyone wants to kiss me.
512
00:23:11,490 --> 00:23:13,313
Unless they're in love with Evan.
513
00:23:15,930 --> 00:23:18,530
- Once again, you've taken this too far.
514
00:23:18,530 --> 00:23:20,110
- Let's take it farther.
515
00:23:20,110 --> 00:23:21,900
This is the kind of
initiative you need to show
516
00:23:21,900 --> 00:23:23,250
when you're pursuing women.
517
00:23:25,213 --> 00:23:27,280
(yelping)
518
00:23:27,280 --> 00:23:29,290
Oh my God, if you weren't you,
519
00:23:29,290 --> 00:23:31,210
I'd be totally turned on right now.
520
00:23:31,210 --> 00:23:34,023
- Please, cancel my
subscription to your issues.
521
00:23:35,620 --> 00:23:37,120
- You're not leaving, are you?
522
00:23:39,133 --> 00:23:42,080
- Well, I appreciate your
attempted analysis of my psyche.
523
00:23:42,080 --> 00:23:44,530
Your conclusion couldn't
be further from reality.
524
00:23:46,030 --> 00:23:47,900
- I know you're not telling the truth.
525
00:23:47,900 --> 00:23:49,760
You can lie to me and you
can lie to the whole world
526
00:23:49,760 --> 00:23:52,050
but the one person you
can't lie to is yourself.
527
00:23:52,050 --> 00:23:54,510
- On the contrary, I
exile in that department.
528
00:23:54,510 --> 00:23:56,803
And, on that note, I bid you adieu.
529
00:24:01,100 --> 00:24:04,403
- Apparently Cleopatra wasn't
the only queen of denial.
530
00:24:10,931 --> 00:24:14,090
(upbeat music)
531
00:24:14,090 --> 00:24:14,953
- I miss this.
532
00:24:16,030 --> 00:24:18,140
- Yeah, don't get any ideas.
533
00:24:18,140 --> 00:24:18,973
- Huh?
534
00:24:18,973 --> 00:24:20,230
- This is a one time thing.
535
00:24:21,270 --> 00:24:22,373
A one night stand.
536
00:24:22,373 --> 00:24:24,920
- How do you have a one
night stand with your wife?
537
00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:28,010
- Until this divorce is final,
we are married in name only.
538
00:24:28,010 --> 00:24:29,117
Wait,
539
00:24:29,117 --> 00:24:31,410
you didn't think we were
getting back together, did you?
540
00:24:31,410 --> 00:24:33,540
- Gee, Paige, when you attacked
me when I walked in the door
541
00:24:33,540 --> 00:24:35,350
and we made mad, passionate love.
542
00:24:35,350 --> 00:24:38,370
Yes, I thought maybe our
relationship status was changing.
543
00:24:38,370 --> 00:24:39,480
- So immature.
544
00:24:39,480 --> 00:24:41,380
This is exactly why I'm divorcing you.
545
00:24:42,455 --> 00:24:43,580
- What the fuck?
546
00:24:43,580 --> 00:24:45,520
- Grow up.
547
00:24:45,520 --> 00:24:46,480
You know better.
548
00:24:46,480 --> 00:24:48,310
- No, Paige, tell me.
549
00:24:48,310 --> 00:24:49,950
- Why am I divorcing you?
550
00:24:49,950 --> 00:24:52,150
Maybe it's because you're
never awake before noon.
551
00:24:52,150 --> 00:24:53,990
Or the constant partying.
552
00:24:53,990 --> 00:24:55,540
Or maybe it's the white stuff
553
00:24:55,540 --> 00:24:56,950
you're constantly shoving up your nose.
554
00:24:56,950 --> 00:24:58,074
- I'm a nurse.
555
00:24:58,074 --> 00:24:59,640
I have to stay alert.
556
00:24:59,640 --> 00:25:01,550
I keep kids alive.
557
00:25:01,550 --> 00:25:03,700
- Don't hide behind
the pillar of altruism.
558
00:25:05,510 --> 00:25:07,333
- You just stand there and criticize me.
559
00:25:07,333 --> 00:25:08,166
Easy for you,
560
00:25:08,166 --> 00:25:09,760
you've never experienced
that kind of pressure.
561
00:25:09,760 --> 00:25:11,630
Yeah, I like nose candy.
562
00:25:11,630 --> 00:25:13,000
- I should've been a bigger priority.
563
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:14,790
- Than the kids dying
in the pediatric ward?
564
00:25:14,790 --> 00:25:16,770
- Yeah, like when I
asked you to quit blow.
565
00:25:16,770 --> 00:25:18,590
You should have for us.
566
00:25:18,590 --> 00:25:19,860
- For you.
567
00:25:19,860 --> 00:25:21,570
Fuck, Paige, you are so selfish.
568
00:25:21,570 --> 00:25:23,000
Why am I still in love with you?
569
00:25:23,000 --> 00:25:25,900
- Don't ask me because I'm
certainly not in love with you.
570
00:25:29,130 --> 00:25:30,786
- This is heavier than
I thought it would be.
571
00:25:30,786 --> 00:25:31,858
(laughing)
572
00:25:31,858 --> 00:25:33,148
- Oh yeah.
573
00:25:33,148 --> 00:25:35,848
They didn't have refined steal yet, duh.
574
00:25:35,848 --> 00:25:37,800
(giggling)
575
00:25:37,800 --> 00:25:39,530
By the late 12th Century,
576
00:25:39,530 --> 00:25:42,220
so the swords in western
Europe had evolved
577
00:25:42,220 --> 00:25:47,080
into cruciform weapons with
circular wheel pommels, usually,
578
00:25:47,080 --> 00:25:49,390
and normally with a fuller or bloodgroove
579
00:25:49,390 --> 00:25:50,590
running down the center.
580
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,034
- I feel like Wonder Woman.
581
00:25:54,034 --> 00:25:55,340
(laughing)
582
00:25:55,340 --> 00:25:56,190
- Coffee's ready.
583
00:25:57,350 --> 00:25:59,320
- Can I set this down?
584
00:25:59,320 --> 00:26:01,000
- [Bridget] Only with great caution.
585
00:26:01,000 --> 00:26:01,833
- Okay.
586
00:26:07,420 --> 00:26:09,253
Do I act like I'm attracted to Evan?
587
00:26:10,130 --> 00:26:11,260
- What? No.
588
00:26:11,260 --> 00:26:13,290
Where'd you even get that idea?
589
00:26:13,290 --> 00:26:15,930
- Yeah, Ryan believes I'm
secretly in love with her.
590
00:26:15,930 --> 00:26:17,140
- Oh, Ryan.
591
00:26:17,140 --> 00:26:19,830
She certainly has a flair for
the dramatic, doesn't she?
592
00:26:19,830 --> 00:26:22,453
I mean, she should be
writing episodes for Dynasty.
593
00:26:23,412 --> 00:26:24,983
(laughing)
594
00:26:24,983 --> 00:26:28,310
Unless, there's something
you're not telling me.
595
00:26:31,920 --> 00:26:34,320
Ryan, I worry about her.
596
00:26:34,320 --> 00:26:37,350
I mean, the situation with her father.
597
00:26:37,350 --> 00:26:40,270
It's like everyone's
got something to hide,
598
00:26:40,270 --> 00:26:43,150
like we're all keeping a secret
599
00:26:43,150 --> 00:26:45,673
we desperately need to stay concealed.
600
00:26:46,620 --> 00:26:48,513
- I wouldn't know anything about that.
601
00:26:49,815 --> 00:26:51,718
(yelping)
602
00:26:51,718 --> 00:26:52,730
(groaning)
603
00:26:52,730 --> 00:26:55,590
- How is it that I can
restore ancient weaponry
604
00:26:55,590 --> 00:26:58,270
but I can't make a cup of
coffee without injuring myself?
605
00:26:58,270 --> 00:27:00,400
- Because you focus on
the things you love,
606
00:27:00,400 --> 00:27:02,300
like weapons and friends,
with such intensity
607
00:27:02,300 --> 00:27:04,840
that not pouring scolding
hot water on yourself
608
00:27:04,840 --> 00:27:06,870
just simply fades into the background.
609
00:27:06,870 --> 00:27:08,517
- Well maybe I'm just clumsy.
610
00:27:08,517 --> 00:27:12,783
- Clumsy on you is adorable.
611
00:27:12,783 --> 00:27:15,993
- You would be such a good girlfriend.
612
00:27:17,040 --> 00:27:19,730
Why don't you start dating,
put yourself out there?
613
00:27:19,730 --> 00:27:22,860
- I don't believe in the
grand idea of romance.
614
00:27:22,860 --> 00:27:24,960
- Well, surely you've been in love before.
615
00:27:26,180 --> 00:27:28,250
- Do you know how to make
the coffee with the foam or--
616
00:27:28,250 --> 00:27:30,053
- Don't evade the topic.
617
00:27:32,532 --> 00:27:33,365
- Ugh.
618
00:27:34,520 --> 00:27:37,180
When I was in high school
619
00:27:37,180 --> 00:27:38,870
there was a girl, Whitney Merritt,
620
00:27:38,870 --> 00:27:40,560
she was a senior, I was a sophomore
621
00:27:40,560 --> 00:27:43,040
and she would drive me
home everyday from school
622
00:27:43,040 --> 00:27:45,590
in a red Mustang, so I
didn't have to take the bus.
623
00:27:46,960 --> 00:27:49,340
She was the most beautiful
thing I'd ever seen
624
00:27:49,340 --> 00:27:51,960
and I convinced myself that we
were destined to be together
625
00:27:51,960 --> 00:27:54,903
and at the end of the school
year, I professed my love.
626
00:27:56,630 --> 00:27:58,200
- And?
627
00:27:58,200 --> 00:28:00,028
- Well, I never heard from her again.
628
00:28:00,028 --> 00:28:02,200
She went to the Hamptons for the summer
629
00:28:02,200 --> 00:28:04,550
and then straight to a
private woman's college.
630
00:28:05,390 --> 00:28:06,420
I'm still looking for her.
631
00:28:06,420 --> 00:28:09,563
But not her, specifically,
because that would be creepy.
632
00:28:10,600 --> 00:28:12,700
But I'm looking to feel
that way, I felt about her,
633
00:28:12,700 --> 00:28:13,823
with someone else.
634
00:28:14,937 --> 00:28:18,050
In that sense, I guess, I'll
always be chasing Whitney.
635
00:28:18,050 --> 00:28:18,883
- So,
636
00:28:20,180 --> 00:28:22,570
this is there you got all the angst
637
00:28:22,570 --> 00:28:24,463
that inspired you to become a writer.
638
00:28:25,307 --> 00:28:26,513
- I'm afraid it did.
639
00:28:28,240 --> 00:28:30,830
Yeah, my mom could tell I was
really emotionally devastated
640
00:28:30,830 --> 00:28:33,210
and we didn't have much
641
00:28:33,210 --> 00:28:35,230
but she bought me this
used lime green iBook
642
00:28:35,230 --> 00:28:37,940
into which I just poured by soul.
643
00:28:37,940 --> 00:28:40,080
- And through which you began your journey
644
00:28:40,080 --> 00:28:42,650
to becoming one of the
great novelists of our time.
645
00:28:42,650 --> 00:28:44,541
- More like my journey to
writing engagement announcements
646
00:28:44,541 --> 00:28:46,083
and other forms of drivel.
647
00:28:47,630 --> 00:28:48,463
What I need
648
00:28:49,710 --> 00:28:50,693
is inspiration.
649
00:28:51,628 --> 00:28:53,663
I'm currently stuck in writers' gridlock.
650
00:28:54,610 --> 00:28:56,390
- Maybe
651
00:28:56,390 --> 00:28:59,300
what you need is to, you know.
652
00:29:01,750 --> 00:29:02,693
- Get laid?
653
00:29:03,677 --> 00:29:06,563
Yeah, that seems to be the consensus.
654
00:29:09,740 --> 00:29:10,573
- Hello, ladies.
655
00:29:11,556 --> 00:29:12,625
- Aww.
656
00:29:12,625 --> 00:29:14,958
(chuckling)
657
00:29:16,360 --> 00:29:17,940
- Hello, dear.
658
00:29:17,940 --> 00:29:19,640
Productive day in zee noo Germany?
659
00:29:21,446 --> 00:29:24,064
(laughing)
660
00:29:24,064 --> 00:29:24,897
- What is it?
661
00:29:24,897 --> 00:29:25,860
- Something medieval.
662
00:29:28,254 --> 00:29:30,421
(gasping)
663
00:29:33,090 --> 00:29:35,320
Time for Middle East peace conference.
664
00:29:35,320 --> 00:29:36,163
- Oh, okay.
665
00:29:39,407 --> 00:29:41,170
- I have to marry Bridget, now.
666
00:29:41,170 --> 00:29:42,290
- Why?
667
00:29:42,290 --> 00:29:43,640
Did you get her knocked up?
668
00:29:44,690 --> 00:29:45,700
Kidding.
669
00:29:45,700 --> 00:29:47,010
What's the rush?
670
00:29:47,010 --> 00:29:48,560
- Dov, when you meet
the girl of your dreams
671
00:29:48,560 --> 00:29:49,760
and you look into her eyes,
672
00:29:49,760 --> 00:29:51,420
you'll understand that
the most important thing
673
00:29:51,420 --> 00:29:53,063
is never letting her go.
674
00:29:54,814 --> 00:29:57,563
- I wouldn't know anything
about that either.
675
00:29:59,010 --> 00:30:00,868
- I'm gonna kill myself.
676
00:30:00,868 --> 00:30:02,118
- It's only coffee, Evan.
677
00:30:04,870 --> 00:30:07,010
Oops, you did it again.
678
00:30:07,010 --> 00:30:07,843
Who is she?
679
00:30:07,843 --> 00:30:10,790
- An intern at my father's
campaign headquarters.
680
00:30:10,790 --> 00:30:12,570
- I hate cliches.
681
00:30:12,570 --> 00:30:13,470
How old?
682
00:30:13,470 --> 00:30:14,680
- She's in college.
683
00:30:14,680 --> 00:30:15,513
- Not what I asked.
684
00:30:15,513 --> 00:30:16,978
- 19.
685
00:30:16,978 --> 00:30:17,887
- Whoa, you like to play low numbers.
686
00:30:17,887 --> 00:30:19,540
- I like to win.
687
00:30:19,540 --> 00:30:20,656
- It's not a casino.
688
00:30:20,656 --> 00:30:23,100
- It's a game, it's all a game.
689
00:30:23,100 --> 00:30:26,510
- I'm just thinking that if
you can't stop screwing around,
690
00:30:26,510 --> 00:30:29,340
you should probably let Bridget
go and find someone else.
691
00:30:29,340 --> 00:30:31,590
(groaning)
692
00:30:33,940 --> 00:30:36,224
- I just need her to marry me.
693
00:30:36,224 --> 00:30:38,350
- [Dov] Do you really feel that marriage
694
00:30:38,350 --> 00:30:40,175
is gonna make you stop
cheating on Bridget?
695
00:30:40,175 --> 00:30:41,330
- Yes.
696
00:30:41,330 --> 00:30:43,027
Hey, this girl, she didn't touch me.
697
00:30:43,027 --> 00:30:44,939
It' a one way street, you understand?
698
00:30:44,939 --> 00:30:46,590
- Well you're driving down
it in the wrong direction.
699
00:30:46,590 --> 00:30:49,133
What's your philosophy,
Evan, eating isn't cheating?
700
00:30:56,356 --> 00:30:59,689
- It's entirely historically inaccurate.
701
00:31:00,810 --> 00:31:01,937
And I love it.
702
00:31:01,937 --> 00:31:03,917
(giggling)
703
00:31:03,917 --> 00:31:04,750
- My baby.
704
00:31:07,084 --> 00:31:12,084
- I guess I'll wear it all the time.
705
00:31:14,325 --> 00:31:17,505
(somber beat music)
706
00:31:17,505 --> 00:31:22,505
♪ Float around in silence ♪
707
00:31:22,601 --> 00:31:27,601
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
708
00:31:27,748 --> 00:31:32,748
♪ Float around in silence ♪
709
00:31:32,843 --> 00:31:37,843
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
710
00:31:37,990 --> 00:31:42,990
♪ Float around in silence ♪
711
00:31:43,111 --> 00:31:46,547
♪ Hanging on a dream up here ♪
712
00:31:46,547 --> 00:31:47,380
- Hey.
713
00:31:47,380 --> 00:31:49,340
- [Bridget] Hey, did Dov leave?
714
00:31:49,340 --> 00:31:51,480
- No, she left right after we ate.
715
00:31:51,480 --> 00:31:52,860
- I didn't notice.
716
00:31:52,860 --> 00:31:53,693
- Thank you.
717
00:31:55,486 --> 00:31:58,077
(chuckling)
718
00:31:58,077 --> 00:32:00,433
- "Your eyes are blue torch light.
719
00:32:01,607 --> 00:32:03,393
"Ice-kissed frost fire.
720
00:32:04,517 --> 00:32:06,470
"My wasted heart melts there."
721
00:32:06,470 --> 00:32:07,830
- You know, it's cute,
722
00:32:07,830 --> 00:32:10,957
like a middle school
love note or something.
723
00:32:10,957 --> 00:32:13,210
- "Ice-kissed frost fire?"
724
00:32:13,210 --> 00:32:14,669
You wrote this for me?
725
00:32:14,669 --> 00:32:17,197
- No, you wrote it for me.
726
00:32:17,197 --> 00:32:19,304
Oh shit, or didn't you?
727
00:32:19,304 --> 00:32:21,290
- Evan, that's not even my handwriting.
728
00:32:21,290 --> 00:32:22,953
- You're saying you didn't write that.
729
00:32:25,150 --> 00:32:26,740
- Where did you find that?
730
00:32:26,740 --> 00:32:29,260
- Just in the kitchen, just over there.
731
00:32:29,260 --> 00:32:31,360
- Somebody wrote it.
732
00:32:31,360 --> 00:32:33,723
Looks like you have a secret admirer.
733
00:32:34,850 --> 00:32:38,691
- They're out of luck because
I have eyes only for you.
734
00:32:38,691 --> 00:32:41,858
(exciting beat music)
735
00:33:22,685 --> 00:33:24,852
(moaning)
736
00:33:26,287 --> 00:33:28,764
(phone ringing)
737
00:33:28,764 --> 00:33:32,110
- No, no, no.
738
00:33:32,110 --> 00:33:35,040
(phone ringing)
739
00:33:35,040 --> 00:33:36,420
- But.
740
00:33:36,420 --> 00:33:38,700
The answering machine is full.
741
00:33:38,700 --> 00:33:41,367
(phone ringing)
742
00:33:42,240 --> 00:33:43,680
Hello.
743
00:33:43,680 --> 00:33:45,460
- Hey, Bridget.
744
00:33:45,460 --> 00:33:46,363
Is Evan there?
745
00:33:49,390 --> 00:33:50,552
- Evan Dever.
746
00:33:50,552 --> 00:33:52,060
- Evan.
747
00:33:52,060 --> 00:33:53,470
It's Ryan.
748
00:33:53,470 --> 00:33:54,880
I'm locked out of my house.
749
00:33:54,880 --> 00:33:57,080
- What time is it?
750
00:33:57,080 --> 00:33:58,380
- Please.
751
00:33:58,380 --> 00:34:01,030
I was out partying with
these Iranian guys.
752
00:34:01,030 --> 00:34:02,120
No offense.
753
00:34:02,120 --> 00:34:03,110
- None taken.
754
00:34:03,110 --> 00:34:04,740
- And we were doing blow all night
755
00:34:04,740 --> 00:34:08,520
and I got that feeling, you know?
756
00:34:08,520 --> 00:34:10,360
The one that says "leave now."
757
00:34:10,360 --> 00:34:13,029
So I got out of there but
my keys aren't in my clutch
758
00:34:13,029 --> 00:34:15,468
and I don't wanna go back alone.
759
00:34:15,468 --> 00:34:18,197
I thought maybe since you're Arab--
760
00:34:19,160 --> 00:34:21,320
- Iranians are Persian, not Arab.
761
00:34:21,320 --> 00:34:22,735
- Oh.
762
00:34:22,735 --> 00:34:25,163
Oh, right.
763
00:34:26,130 --> 00:34:27,183
- Don't worry about it.
764
00:34:28,730 --> 00:34:31,610
- I think you can reason
with them since you're,
765
00:34:31,610 --> 00:34:32,453
you know,
766
00:34:33,870 --> 00:34:35,003
Middle Eastern.
767
00:34:36,190 --> 00:34:37,900
Please come get me.
768
00:34:37,900 --> 00:34:39,270
- I'm on my way.
769
00:34:39,270 --> 00:34:40,796
- Do you speak Arabic?
770
00:34:40,796 --> 00:34:41,983
- No.
771
00:34:41,983 --> 00:34:44,150
(moaning)
772
00:34:47,970 --> 00:34:48,803
- Hello?
773
00:34:50,016 --> 00:34:52,183
(moaning)
774
00:35:01,945 --> 00:35:04,945
(somber beat music)
775
00:35:13,030 --> 00:35:15,280
You were so good at reasoning with them.
776
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:17,203
Evan Dever, you're my hero.
777
00:35:23,410 --> 00:35:24,510
Do you wanna come inside?
778
00:35:24,510 --> 00:35:26,007
Stay up and party all
night like the old days?
779
00:35:26,007 --> 00:35:28,323
- I have to be at work in three hours.
780
00:35:29,730 --> 00:35:31,030
How'd you afford this?
781
00:35:31,030 --> 00:35:32,203
- My daddy hates me.
782
00:35:39,000 --> 00:35:40,558
- Hey.
783
00:35:40,558 --> 00:35:41,541
- Hey.
784
00:35:41,541 --> 00:35:43,865
- I live next door, I'm Misha.
785
00:35:43,865 --> 00:35:45,020
- Evan.
786
00:35:45,020 --> 00:35:47,350
- Are you Ryan's new girl?
787
00:35:47,350 --> 00:35:49,300
- Oh no, we're good friends.
788
00:35:49,300 --> 00:35:50,890
- That's what they all say.
789
00:35:50,890 --> 00:35:53,663
Can you light me one of those, cowboy?
790
00:35:55,920 --> 00:35:57,913
- How about I give you this one, cowgirl?
791
00:36:03,480 --> 00:36:04,580
- Thanks.
792
00:36:04,580 --> 00:36:05,680
- Think nothing of it.
793
00:36:06,570 --> 00:36:08,434
- You're up late.
794
00:36:08,434 --> 00:36:10,517
- Oh yeah, we were just--
795
00:36:11,390 --> 00:36:14,281
- Wanna come over to my place, hang out?
796
00:36:14,281 --> 00:36:16,020
- I have to be up early.
797
00:36:16,020 --> 00:36:18,363
- Okay, well, you know where to find me.
798
00:36:20,947 --> 00:36:21,982
- Hey!
799
00:36:21,982 --> 00:36:22,815
Come on!
800
00:36:33,264 --> 00:36:36,712
(faint beat music)
801
00:36:36,712 --> 00:36:39,045
(sniffling)
802
00:36:39,920 --> 00:36:41,140
- You know, cocaine is
God's way of telling you
803
00:36:41,140 --> 00:36:42,720
you have too much money.
804
00:36:42,720 --> 00:36:44,670
- I don't need God to tell me I'm rich.
805
00:36:46,035 --> 00:36:47,285
- You need to be careful.
806
00:36:48,120 --> 00:36:49,030
I've seen a lot of pretty girls
807
00:36:49,030 --> 00:36:50,950
ruin their looks with this stuff.
808
00:36:50,950 --> 00:36:54,234
- Well it's a lucky thing I
don't plan on living past 30.
809
00:36:54,234 --> 00:36:55,067
- You have some on your nose.
810
00:36:55,067 --> 00:36:56,863
- It's okay, I'm gonna keep doing it.
811
00:36:59,950 --> 00:37:02,500
God blessed me with
good looks and cursed me
812
00:37:02,500 --> 00:37:04,770
with the knowledge that
they would one day fade.
813
00:37:04,770 --> 00:37:06,563
- There's no reason to rush prophecy.
814
00:37:08,110 --> 00:37:09,690
- How come you and I never got together?
815
00:37:09,690 --> 00:37:11,360
- We've been over this.
816
00:37:11,360 --> 00:37:12,640
- Come on.
817
00:37:12,640 --> 00:37:13,913
We'd be so cute.
818
00:37:15,320 --> 00:37:17,133
- Because a player can't get played.
819
00:37:18,836 --> 00:37:21,086
(groaning)
820
00:37:24,000 --> 00:37:26,410
- Which one of us is the
play in this scenario?
821
00:37:26,410 --> 00:37:27,293
- We both are.
822
00:37:30,440 --> 00:37:32,030
Additionally, I happen to be madly in love
823
00:37:32,030 --> 00:37:35,150
with you best friend, whom
I also plan on marrying.
824
00:37:35,150 --> 00:37:37,700
- What's with you saying
"whom" all the time?
825
00:37:37,700 --> 00:37:39,663
I went to the same school
as you and I can't do that.
826
00:37:39,663 --> 00:37:40,953
- I was paying attention in class.
827
00:37:40,953 --> 00:37:42,820
- I doubt you even showed up.
828
00:37:42,820 --> 00:37:43,890
- I finished four years in three
829
00:37:43,890 --> 00:37:46,220
and never even cracked the text book.
830
00:37:46,220 --> 00:37:47,083
- Show-off.
831
00:37:49,410 --> 00:37:50,243
I'm cold.
832
00:37:51,270 --> 00:37:52,113
Get on the bed.
833
00:37:59,062 --> 00:38:00,927
(chuckling)
834
00:38:00,927 --> 00:38:02,844
I don't know, it's just
835
00:38:04,240 --> 00:38:07,680
nice having someone like me for me.
836
00:38:07,680 --> 00:38:09,080
- Bridget likes you for you.
837
00:38:10,310 --> 00:38:11,260
- That's different.
838
00:38:12,830 --> 00:38:13,873
She's not a boy.
839
00:38:15,090 --> 00:38:16,093
You're a boy, Evan.
840
00:38:16,950 --> 00:38:18,630
That's why I called you.
841
00:38:18,630 --> 00:38:20,330
I wanted a boy to take care of me.
842
00:38:26,459 --> 00:38:29,209
We have the best group, don't we?
843
00:38:30,086 --> 00:38:33,607
You're the king, Bridget's the queen.
844
00:38:35,360 --> 00:38:37,440
I'm definitely the princess.
845
00:38:37,440 --> 00:38:38,740
- What are Dov and Trista?
846
00:38:40,920 --> 00:38:41,920
- The court jesters.
847
00:38:46,880 --> 00:38:47,802
Hey, Evan?
848
00:38:47,802 --> 00:38:48,635
- Mhmm?
849
00:38:49,620 --> 00:38:50,570
- There's something I need to tell you.
850
00:38:50,570 --> 00:38:52,603
- You can tell me anything.
851
00:38:53,993 --> 00:38:55,243
- You're right.
852
00:38:56,163 --> 00:38:57,483
I can always count on you.
853
00:39:06,810 --> 00:39:08,470
Hey,
854
00:39:08,470 --> 00:39:09,363
can you stay?
855
00:39:11,160 --> 00:39:12,750
At least until I'm asleep?
856
00:39:12,750 --> 00:39:14,300
- That won't be for a few days.
857
00:39:15,610 --> 00:39:16,443
- Fair point.
858
00:39:18,250 --> 00:39:20,800
Do you think you could at
least sleep here tonight?
859
00:39:22,031 --> 00:39:23,640
I'd feel a lot safer.
860
00:39:23,640 --> 00:39:26,210
- You're paranoid from all the coke.
861
00:39:26,210 --> 00:39:27,143
- Do you think Bridget will mind?
862
00:39:27,143 --> 00:39:29,550
Because I could call her
right now and tell her.
863
00:39:29,550 --> 00:39:31,370
- Bridget forced you to
give her kissing lessons.
864
00:39:31,370 --> 00:39:32,233
She'll be fine.
865
00:39:38,670 --> 00:39:39,703
- Hey, Evan?
866
00:39:40,561 --> 00:39:41,394
- Mhmm?
867
00:39:43,300 --> 00:39:44,567
- I love you.
868
00:39:44,567 --> 00:39:46,203
- You too, sweetheart.
869
00:39:48,275 --> 00:39:50,297
- And not in a gay way.
870
00:40:02,016 --> 00:40:04,085
(huffing)
871
00:40:04,085 --> 00:40:06,668
(upbeat music)
872
00:40:19,050 --> 00:40:20,251
- No.
873
00:40:20,251 --> 00:40:21,898
No, no.
874
00:40:21,898 --> 00:40:23,227
No, no.
875
00:40:23,227 --> 00:40:25,560
(screaming)
876
00:40:27,838 --> 00:40:29,740
(sighing)
877
00:40:29,740 --> 00:40:32,806
(muffled yelling)
878
00:40:32,806 --> 00:40:35,473
(phone ringing)
879
00:40:41,490 --> 00:40:42,870
- Dov isn't here right now,
880
00:40:42,870 --> 00:40:44,490
would you like to leave a message?
881
00:40:44,490 --> 00:40:45,470
- Where the fuck are you?
882
00:40:45,470 --> 00:40:48,190
You know how much this
party means to Bridget.
883
00:40:48,190 --> 00:40:49,500
- What time is it?
884
00:40:49,500 --> 00:40:50,990
- Were you asleep?
885
00:40:50,990 --> 00:40:52,290
Were you dreaming of Evan?
886
00:40:53,210 --> 00:40:54,600
- I hate myself.
887
00:40:54,600 --> 00:40:57,360
- You love someone who doesn't love you.
888
00:40:57,360 --> 00:40:59,710
And I thought writers didn't like cliches.
889
00:40:59,710 --> 00:41:02,140
- It's not so cliche that I hate myself.
890
00:41:02,140 --> 00:41:03,500
- Hang on.
891
00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:05,780
- Dov, you know how much
this party means to Bridget.
892
00:41:05,780 --> 00:41:07,180
- [Ryan] That's what I said.
893
00:41:08,020 --> 00:41:08,990
- I'm dying.
894
00:41:08,990 --> 00:41:09,857
- You're not dying.
895
00:41:09,857 --> 00:41:11,290
You just can't think of
anything better to do.
896
00:41:11,290 --> 00:41:13,450
- Tell her to take some Gas-X.
897
00:41:13,450 --> 00:41:15,633
- Get dressed and get the fuck over here.
898
00:41:18,000 --> 00:41:19,223
- The king has spoken.
899
00:41:25,256 --> 00:41:27,839
(somber music)
900
00:41:31,323 --> 00:41:36,323
Hello?
901
00:41:36,508 --> 00:41:40,008
(exciting New Wave music)
902
00:41:49,828 --> 00:41:50,899
- Oh!
903
00:41:50,899 --> 00:41:51,732
You look amazing!
904
00:41:51,732 --> 00:41:53,833
This is hilarious!
905
00:41:53,833 --> 00:41:56,083
(laughing)
906
00:41:57,651 --> 00:41:59,184
Where's your costume?
907
00:41:59,184 --> 00:42:00,607
This is not good enough.
908
00:42:00,607 --> 00:42:01,524
- Whatever.
909
00:42:02,752 --> 00:42:03,585
- Oh, Ryan.
910
00:42:03,585 --> 00:42:05,741
- You need to wear your glasses.
911
00:42:05,741 --> 00:42:07,910
- Oh, they make me look like a nerd
912
00:42:07,910 --> 00:42:10,472
and they're historically inaccurate.
913
00:42:10,472 --> 00:42:12,160
(laughing)
914
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:13,400
- Dov is coming.
915
00:42:13,400 --> 00:42:14,340
- Oh, thanks for calling her.
916
00:42:14,340 --> 00:42:16,370
I didn't realize she wasn't here.
917
00:42:16,370 --> 00:42:17,420
- So, apparently my dad
918
00:42:17,420 --> 00:42:19,930
is in some kind of induced-coma state.
919
00:42:19,930 --> 00:42:21,690
I don't get it, I thought
in Europe they had laws
920
00:42:21,690 --> 00:42:23,860
where they let people die.
921
00:42:23,860 --> 00:42:25,460
- He wants that?
922
00:42:25,460 --> 00:42:26,880
Euthanasia?
923
00:42:26,880 --> 00:42:28,330
- Youth in Asia?
924
00:42:28,330 --> 00:42:29,903
What do they have to do with it?
925
00:42:41,839 --> 00:42:44,422
(upbeat music)
926
00:42:50,089 --> 00:42:50,922
- Hi.
927
00:42:57,471 --> 00:42:58,304
- Dov.
928
00:43:02,443 --> 00:43:04,530
- Time for a Mid-East summit?
929
00:43:04,530 --> 00:43:06,520
- I need to unburden my conscience.
930
00:43:06,520 --> 00:43:07,720
Do you take confessions?
931
00:43:08,600 --> 00:43:10,510
- Do I look like a priest?
932
00:43:10,510 --> 00:43:12,237
- You look poor and celibate.
933
00:43:14,060 --> 00:43:15,650
- Close enough, what's up?
934
00:43:15,650 --> 00:43:18,730
- My intern, now she says
she's in love with me.
935
00:43:18,730 --> 00:43:20,833
I have to see her every day.
936
00:43:22,340 --> 00:43:23,310
I don't know how to handle it.
937
00:43:23,310 --> 00:43:25,630
- Why don't you be a big boy
and stop committing adultery
938
00:43:25,630 --> 00:43:27,800
with your teenage subordinate?
939
00:43:27,800 --> 00:43:29,970
- It's not adultery unless you're married.
940
00:43:29,970 --> 00:43:31,540
Until Bridget accepts my offer,
941
00:43:31,540 --> 00:43:33,593
I have no reason to decline any others.
942
00:43:34,890 --> 00:43:36,040
- I'll tell you what.
943
00:43:36,040 --> 00:43:38,310
Say three Hail Mary's, four Our Father's
944
00:43:38,310 --> 00:43:39,143
and pray that there's a God
945
00:43:39,143 --> 00:43:41,595
that will absolve you of your sins.
946
00:43:41,595 --> 00:43:43,470
- You know what I like about you?
947
00:43:43,470 --> 00:43:44,340
- Can't wait.
948
00:43:44,340 --> 00:43:45,990
- You always tell it like it is.
949
00:43:45,990 --> 00:43:47,690
You never lie.
950
00:43:47,690 --> 00:43:48,850
You're a straight shooter.
951
00:43:48,850 --> 00:43:51,157
- Not so sure about the
"straight" part but.
952
00:43:57,461 --> 00:44:00,961
(exciting New Wave music)
953
00:44:45,820 --> 00:44:47,170
- Hey, over here!
954
00:44:47,170 --> 00:44:48,790
I want you to meet my neighbor's daughter.
955
00:44:48,790 --> 00:44:49,970
She's Jewish too.
956
00:44:49,970 --> 00:44:50,960
Misha!
957
00:44:50,960 --> 00:44:52,500
Misha!
958
00:44:52,500 --> 00:44:54,240
Misha,
959
00:44:54,240 --> 00:44:57,023
this is Dov, I was telling you about her.
960
00:44:57,900 --> 00:44:59,543
- I like your haircut.
961
00:45:01,310 --> 00:45:02,143
- Thanks.
962
00:45:02,143 --> 00:45:03,300
No one ever says that.
963
00:45:03,300 --> 00:45:04,140
- Really?
964
00:45:04,140 --> 00:45:05,993
- That's the first thing I noticed.
965
00:45:11,000 --> 00:45:11,903
- Spectacular.
966
00:45:14,830 --> 00:45:16,693
I like your bonnet.
967
00:45:18,519 --> 00:45:19,352
- Ummm.
968
00:45:22,020 --> 00:45:23,257
Truth.
969
00:45:23,257 --> 00:45:24,090
- Hmmmmm.
970
00:45:25,310 --> 00:45:26,410
What are your numbers?
971
00:45:27,840 --> 00:45:29,440
- Well,
972
00:45:29,440 --> 00:45:31,300
I knew I was a lesbian in high school
973
00:45:31,300 --> 00:45:32,990
but I didn't come out until college,
974
00:45:32,990 --> 00:45:34,893
which is where I met Evan.
975
00:45:35,963 --> 00:45:38,820
But then I Puerto Rico to live
with my dad for a few years
976
00:45:38,820 --> 00:45:40,470
and they're really conservative there,
977
00:45:40,470 --> 00:45:42,393
but I kept in touch with Evan,
978
00:45:44,902 --> 00:45:48,200
so eventually she offered
to pay for grad school
979
00:45:48,200 --> 00:45:49,133
if I came back.
980
00:45:51,262 --> 00:45:53,293
- So, what's your answer?
981
00:45:55,200 --> 00:45:56,680
- Just Evan.
982
00:45:56,680 --> 00:45:57,724
Just one.
983
00:45:57,724 --> 00:45:58,710
- [Trista] Uh-uh.
984
00:45:58,710 --> 00:45:59,640
No, you're lying.
985
00:45:59,640 --> 00:46:00,900
- [Ryan] She's not.
986
00:46:00,900 --> 00:46:02,906
She would've told me.
987
00:46:02,906 --> 00:46:04,610
- [Trista] Do you think about other women?
988
00:46:04,610 --> 00:46:06,740
- Well, I mean yeah, I
think about other women
989
00:46:06,740 --> 00:46:07,713
but I love Evan.
990
00:46:08,780 --> 00:46:10,459
- Wow, that's super deep.
991
00:46:10,459 --> 00:46:12,850
(chuckling)
992
00:46:12,850 --> 00:46:14,250
- Okay, so...
993
00:46:16,410 --> 00:46:17,243
Who's next?
994
00:46:19,240 --> 00:46:20,380
- Ryan.
995
00:46:20,380 --> 00:46:21,240
- Yes?
996
00:46:21,240 --> 00:46:22,073
Dare.
997
00:46:25,400 --> 00:46:26,740
- Kiss Evan.
998
00:46:26,740 --> 00:46:27,573
- Fuck yeah.
999
00:46:35,802 --> 00:46:38,052
(laughing)
1000
00:46:40,530 --> 00:46:41,433
My turn.
1001
00:46:44,840 --> 00:46:46,543
Dov, truth or dare?
1002
00:46:48,130 --> 00:46:48,963
- Truth.
1003
00:46:48,963 --> 00:46:50,093
- [Ryan] You sure about that?
1004
00:46:52,360 --> 00:46:53,193
- No.
1005
00:46:54,120 --> 00:46:54,953
Dare.
1006
00:46:56,220 --> 00:46:57,093
I choose dare.
1007
00:47:06,180 --> 00:47:07,589
- [Ryan] Kiss Evan.
1008
00:47:07,589 --> 00:47:09,837
(laughing)
1009
00:47:09,837 --> 00:47:10,670
- [Dov] No.
1010
00:47:10,670 --> 00:47:11,503
- Kiss Evan.
1011
00:47:11,503 --> 00:47:12,336
- Nope.
1012
00:47:12,336 --> 00:47:13,220
- [Ryan] That's your
dare, you have to do it.
1013
00:47:13,220 --> 00:47:14,130
- I'm not.
1014
00:47:14,130 --> 00:47:14,963
- Why?
1015
00:47:14,963 --> 00:47:17,170
Is there something wrong with Evan?
1016
00:47:17,170 --> 00:47:18,460
- [Dov] I just don't want to.
1017
00:47:18,460 --> 00:47:19,300
Give me another dare.
1018
00:47:19,300 --> 00:47:20,500
- That's not how it works.
1019
00:47:20,500 --> 00:47:22,030
Do you think I wanted to kiss Evan?
1020
00:47:22,030 --> 00:47:23,210
- [Dov] Yeah, I think you did.
1021
00:47:23,210 --> 00:47:24,640
- Poor example.
1022
00:47:24,640 --> 00:47:26,830
- Oh, come on, you're
gonna make her feel bad.
1023
00:47:26,830 --> 00:47:29,030
- Stop, she doesn't have to kiss me.
1024
00:47:29,030 --> 00:47:30,520
- Yes she does.
1025
00:47:30,520 --> 00:47:32,840
If I'd welched on every
dare I got in high school,
1026
00:47:32,840 --> 00:47:34,523
I wouldn't be the woman I am today.
1027
00:47:34,523 --> 00:47:35,356
(laughing)
1028
00:47:35,356 --> 00:47:37,563
- I think you're arguing
against your own point.
1029
00:47:39,006 --> 00:47:42,735
(faint beat music)
1030
00:47:42,735 --> 00:47:43,568
Awwww.
1031
00:47:45,928 --> 00:47:47,742
- [Ryan] Good job, Evan.
1032
00:47:47,742 --> 00:47:49,293
Was that so bad?
1033
00:47:50,232 --> 00:47:51,732
- [Trista] Oooooh.
1034
00:47:56,840 --> 00:47:59,090
(laughing)
1035
00:48:02,267 --> 00:48:03,100
- There.
1036
00:48:04,370 --> 00:48:06,495
Bridget, Evan, thank you for having me.
1037
00:48:06,495 --> 00:48:07,520
- Come on!
1038
00:48:07,520 --> 00:48:08,583
You're not leaving!
1039
00:48:09,687 --> 00:48:10,939
Come back!
1040
00:48:10,939 --> 00:48:12,471
Come back!
1041
00:48:12,471 --> 00:48:13,876
- Awww.
1042
00:48:13,876 --> 00:48:15,281
Bye, Felicia.
1043
00:48:15,281 --> 00:48:17,531
(laughing)
1044
00:48:19,360 --> 00:48:20,747
Well, that was a play full of awkwardness.
1045
00:48:20,747 --> 00:48:22,160
- It was like being kissed
1046
00:48:22,160 --> 00:48:24,195
by a 12 year old virgin of myself.
1047
00:48:24,195 --> 00:48:25,380
(laughing)
1048
00:48:25,380 --> 00:48:26,980
Gotta disinfect.
1049
00:48:26,980 --> 00:48:28,923
- Drink it, drink all of it.
1050
00:48:28,923 --> 00:48:30,749
Kill the bottle, kill it.
1051
00:48:30,749 --> 00:48:32,130
(laughing)
1052
00:48:32,130 --> 00:48:34,019
Here, here, I got you.
1053
00:48:34,019 --> 00:48:35,181
(laughing)
1054
00:48:35,181 --> 00:48:36,481
I'm just gonna lick it up.
1055
00:48:41,740 --> 00:48:43,003
- Hey, wait up!
1056
00:48:43,980 --> 00:48:45,277
- What were you thinking?
1057
00:48:45,277 --> 00:48:46,733
- I did you a favor.
1058
00:48:47,901 --> 00:48:48,734
- You humiliated me.
1059
00:48:48,734 --> 00:48:50,433
I'm not in love with Evan!
1060
00:48:51,480 --> 00:48:52,370
What's it gonna take to get that through
1061
00:48:52,370 --> 00:48:53,770
your pretty, little skull?!
1062
00:48:53,770 --> 00:48:56,080
- Denial ain't just a river in Egypt.
1063
00:48:56,080 --> 00:48:58,010
Maybe one kiss from your
lips is all it would take
1064
00:48:58,010 --> 00:49:00,950
and Evan would decide to
leave Bridget forever.
1065
00:49:00,950 --> 00:49:02,230
- If only.
1066
00:49:02,230 --> 00:49:03,550
Aren't you the one who's
supposed to be looking out
1067
00:49:03,550 --> 00:49:04,950
for her best interests?
1068
00:49:04,950 --> 00:49:06,500
- What makes you think I'm not?
1069
00:49:07,850 --> 00:49:09,690
- Where'd that come from?
1070
00:49:09,690 --> 00:49:11,890
- I had lunch at Evan's office last week.
1071
00:49:11,890 --> 00:49:13,840
I got a look at Evan's intern.
1072
00:49:13,840 --> 00:49:15,880
More specifically, I got a look at the way
1073
00:49:15,880 --> 00:49:17,770
Evan looks at her intern.
1074
00:49:17,770 --> 00:49:19,900
I don't know if she's done anything or not
1075
00:49:19,900 --> 00:49:22,630
but I know Evan and I know people
1076
00:49:22,630 --> 00:49:24,040
and I know that the one thing
1077
00:49:24,040 --> 00:49:26,083
that people never, ever do is change.
1078
00:49:28,870 --> 00:49:30,920
Listen, this had been a
little too much reality
1079
00:49:30,920 --> 00:49:31,860
for one night.
1080
00:49:31,860 --> 00:49:34,780
I like substances and I like abusing them.
1081
00:49:34,780 --> 00:49:35,743
- I don't know, Ry.
1082
00:49:36,730 --> 00:49:40,620
- Some dweezoid left a mondo
of Purple Urkel at my place.
1083
00:49:40,620 --> 00:49:42,050
It's yours for the taking.
1084
00:49:42,050 --> 00:49:43,850
As am I.
1085
00:49:43,850 --> 00:49:44,863
- Purple Urkel?
1086
00:49:45,760 --> 00:49:48,510
- I cordially invite you
to night of bad decisions
1087
00:49:48,510 --> 00:49:50,773
and debauchery at my apartment.
1088
00:49:50,773 --> 00:49:52,940
(sighing)
1089
00:49:54,570 --> 00:49:56,810
- Then I cordially
accept but I'm still mad.
1090
00:49:56,810 --> 00:49:58,580
- I can live with that.
1091
00:49:58,580 --> 00:50:00,020
- Are you gonna try to seduce me again?
1092
00:50:00,020 --> 00:50:02,490
- Depends, do you want me to?
1093
00:50:02,490 --> 00:50:03,355
- Yeah
1094
00:50:03,355 --> 00:50:04,515
(laughing)
1095
00:50:04,515 --> 00:50:08,432
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1096
00:50:14,157 --> 00:50:16,740
(gong ringing)
1097
00:50:21,790 --> 00:50:23,470
- Hey, Jew bu.
1098
00:50:23,470 --> 00:50:25,630
- This isn't Buddha, this is Shiva.
1099
00:50:25,630 --> 00:50:27,580
- I thought you were in
an exclusive relationship
1100
00:50:27,580 --> 00:50:28,780
with the God of Abraham.
1101
00:50:29,870 --> 00:50:32,000
- I took an Asian
Philosophy class in college.
1102
00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,250
I didn't understand a word of it but
1103
00:50:34,250 --> 00:50:35,800
it was graded on a curve so,
1104
00:50:35,800 --> 00:50:37,200
I passed with flying colors.
1105
00:50:38,190 --> 00:50:43,190
- And what brought on this
bout of religious bi curiosity?
1106
00:50:43,200 --> 00:50:45,400
- Trying, again, to write my novel
1107
00:50:45,400 --> 00:50:47,900
and failing, again, to
come up with a single word.
1108
00:50:49,310 --> 00:50:51,520
- And how's this ritual helping you?
1109
00:50:51,520 --> 00:50:54,383
- Clearly, you understand nothing
about the writing process.
1110
00:50:57,340 --> 00:50:58,553
- I saw Paige yesterday.
1111
00:50:59,610 --> 00:51:00,463
- How'd it go?
1112
00:51:01,483 --> 00:51:02,633
- I didn't talk to her.
1113
00:51:03,852 --> 00:51:05,560
- You can't keep standing
outside your old house
1114
00:51:05,560 --> 00:51:07,000
and spying on her.
1115
00:51:07,000 --> 00:51:08,050
- Why not?
1116
00:51:08,050 --> 00:51:09,250
- What are yo afraid of?
1117
00:51:10,440 --> 00:51:11,273
- Dying alone.
1118
00:51:12,579 --> 00:51:14,073
- I think we're in the same boat.
1119
00:51:15,095 --> 00:51:17,297
More like a sinking ship.
1120
00:51:17,297 --> 00:51:19,023
Except, I've long accepted the fact
1121
00:51:19,023 --> 00:51:20,460
that the woman who owns my heart
1122
00:51:20,460 --> 00:51:22,710
will never return my feelings.
1123
00:51:22,710 --> 00:51:24,460
- Which bitch are you in love with?
1124
00:51:25,400 --> 00:51:26,890
- That's between me and my God.
1125
00:51:26,890 --> 00:51:29,423
Which God, I haven't decided yet.
1126
00:51:30,860 --> 00:51:32,780
- If you're obsessed with
some unobtainable girl,
1127
00:51:32,780 --> 00:51:34,810
you have to profess to her your love.
1128
00:51:34,810 --> 00:51:36,560
- I'd rather keep writing
engagement announcements
1129
00:51:36,560 --> 00:51:38,570
for the rest of my natural born life.
1130
00:51:38,570 --> 00:51:39,923
- So much irony in that.
1131
00:51:41,140 --> 00:51:43,340
- You could offer me a million
dollars to write a book,
1132
00:51:43,340 --> 00:51:44,173
right now,
1133
00:51:44,173 --> 00:51:46,870
I wouldn't be able to come
up with a single thing.
1134
00:51:46,870 --> 00:51:48,880
- I know what you need
to write a book about.
1135
00:51:48,880 --> 00:51:50,850
Write a book about a group of lesbians
1136
00:51:50,850 --> 00:51:52,410
who are constantly creating
1137
00:51:52,410 --> 00:51:54,300
unnecessary and neuritic problems
1138
00:51:54,300 --> 00:51:58,030
to keep them from dealing with
their terrifying problems,
1139
00:51:58,030 --> 00:51:59,590
like reality.
1140
00:51:59,590 --> 00:52:00,740
- Come on.
1141
00:52:00,740 --> 00:52:01,993
No one would read that.
1142
00:52:08,500 --> 00:52:10,440
- I'm getting a promotion at the museum.
1143
00:52:10,440 --> 00:52:12,373
- That's so great.
1144
00:52:12,373 --> 00:52:16,100
- And I might even be getting
a fellowship in Romania.
1145
00:52:16,100 --> 00:52:18,773
- Are you still gonna have a
big, gay Republican wedding?
1146
00:52:20,105 --> 00:52:21,700
- I don't even wanna think about it.
1147
00:52:21,700 --> 00:52:23,620
- Can I be a bridesmaid?
1148
00:52:23,620 --> 00:52:26,470
No one's ever asked me to be a bridesmaid.
1149
00:52:26,470 --> 00:52:27,680
- I'm just so
1150
00:52:29,350 --> 00:52:30,490
unsure.
1151
00:52:30,490 --> 00:52:33,323
- But you and Evan have
a fairytale romance.
1152
00:52:34,516 --> 00:52:36,313
- I love Evan, I do.
1153
00:52:38,537 --> 00:52:40,757
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
1154
00:52:41,890 --> 00:52:42,723
- What?
1155
00:52:44,490 --> 00:52:45,323
- Nothing.
1156
00:52:49,410 --> 00:52:51,060
Okay.
1157
00:52:51,060 --> 00:52:55,307
Someone wrote Evan an anonymous love note.
1158
00:52:55,307 --> 00:52:56,750
- Oh my God.
1159
00:52:56,750 --> 00:52:58,053
That's so pathetic.
1160
00:52:59,180 --> 00:53:01,833
- You don't know anything
about it, do you?
1161
00:53:01,833 --> 00:53:04,916
(muffled beat music)
1162
00:53:06,530 --> 00:53:07,890
- So good.
1163
00:53:07,890 --> 00:53:09,480
Where'd you learn to
make coffee like this?
1164
00:53:09,480 --> 00:53:11,140
- Late nights in stuffy museums,
1165
00:53:11,140 --> 00:53:13,190
a person will resort
to desperate measures.
1166
00:53:13,190 --> 00:53:15,443
- Desperate measures is
my area of expertise.
1167
00:53:17,030 --> 00:53:18,430
- Hey, Ryan, how's your dad?
1168
00:53:19,720 --> 00:53:21,520
- Still hanging on, the old bastard.
1169
00:53:23,120 --> 00:53:25,397
- I'm worried about you.
1170
00:53:25,397 --> 00:53:29,410
You don't seem bothered that
your dad is going to die.
1171
00:53:29,410 --> 00:53:31,210
- I'm very bothered.
1172
00:53:31,210 --> 00:53:32,930
Once I collect inheritance,
it's gonna put me
1173
00:53:32,930 --> 00:53:35,316
in an entirely new tax bracket.
1174
00:53:35,316 --> 00:53:36,149
- That's the other thing.
1175
00:53:36,149 --> 00:53:38,463
You seem obsessed with getting his money.
1176
00:53:39,820 --> 00:53:41,483
- Once I become rich,
1177
00:53:42,600 --> 00:53:43,833
I mean, rich rich,
1178
00:53:45,160 --> 00:53:47,510
I'll never have to work
another day of my life.
1179
00:53:49,040 --> 00:53:51,290
I'll just be tattooing
for shits and giggles.
1180
00:53:54,230 --> 00:53:57,480
Evan's paying your tuition
for grad school, right?
1181
00:53:57,480 --> 00:53:59,581
- Yeah, but it's just temporary.
1182
00:53:59,581 --> 00:54:02,160
When I get my career going,
I'm gonna pay her back.
1183
00:54:02,160 --> 00:54:05,560
- And you're not paying
rent to live with her?
1184
00:54:06,430 --> 00:54:07,263
- I try.
1185
00:54:07,263 --> 00:54:10,970
I insisted, actually, but
she wouldn't hear of it.
1186
00:54:10,970 --> 00:54:13,060
She refused to take anything from me
1187
00:54:13,060 --> 00:54:15,613
because we're in love.
1188
00:54:18,890 --> 00:54:19,723
- What a world.
1189
00:54:20,740 --> 00:54:21,573
- Yeah.
1190
00:54:21,573 --> 00:54:24,120
The world is crazy, right?
1191
00:54:24,120 --> 00:54:24,953
- No.
1192
00:54:26,630 --> 00:54:27,577
I meant, yours.
1193
00:54:36,124 --> 00:54:39,573
(video cassette player buzzing)
1194
00:54:39,573 --> 00:54:42,156
(upbeat music)
1195
00:54:49,381 --> 00:54:50,980
- I'm thinking June 1st.
1196
00:54:50,980 --> 00:54:52,840
That'll give you enough time to prepare.
1197
00:54:52,840 --> 00:54:55,330
You'll have a wedding planner
to assist you, of course.
1198
00:54:55,330 --> 00:54:58,030
- I just got a promotion, I
barely have time as it is.
1199
00:54:58,880 --> 00:55:00,700
- I'm thinking a garden wedding.
1200
00:55:00,700 --> 00:55:01,660
I can see it now.
1201
00:55:01,660 --> 00:55:02,870
Our lesbian nuptials will be
1202
00:55:02,870 --> 00:55:05,170
the Republican social
gathering of the year.
1203
00:55:05,170 --> 00:55:06,870
- Do you want a wedding ceremony
1204
00:55:06,870 --> 00:55:10,075
or a political gathering
worthy of CNN coverage?
1205
00:55:10,075 --> 00:55:11,200
- I can see it now.
1206
00:55:11,200 --> 00:55:13,360
The Republicans can sit
on my side of the isle
1207
00:55:13,360 --> 00:55:16,129
and since your family isn't coming, sorry,
1208
00:55:16,129 --> 00:55:18,673
anyone who are Democrats
appear can sit on yours.
1209
00:55:22,160 --> 00:55:22,993
- Ugh.
1210
00:55:24,090 --> 00:55:27,070
I've been, okay, do you
mind if I say something?
1211
00:55:27,070 --> 00:55:28,330
Offensive?
1212
00:55:28,330 --> 00:55:29,569
- Just when I thought this conversation
1213
00:55:29,569 --> 00:55:31,670
couldn't get any more interesting.
1214
00:55:31,670 --> 00:55:33,300
- Okay.
1215
00:55:33,300 --> 00:55:34,133
Okay.
1216
00:55:35,740 --> 00:55:39,180
Look, I've never seen
a white Arab than you.
1217
00:55:39,180 --> 00:55:41,400
I've never seen a whiter person than you.
1218
00:55:41,400 --> 00:55:44,140
I mean, it's all too easy
with your golden locks
1219
00:55:44,140 --> 00:55:47,723
and your fair skin to
avoid discrimination.
1220
00:55:49,090 --> 00:55:49,940
- What about you?
1221
00:55:51,055 --> 00:55:53,120
You think in a million years
anyone would think you were gay
1222
00:55:53,120 --> 00:55:54,670
from looking at you?
1223
00:55:54,670 --> 00:55:56,730
Because that's what I have to live with.
1224
00:55:56,730 --> 00:56:00,210
Every person who sees me sees a dyke.
1225
00:56:00,210 --> 00:56:01,580
- It's not a competition.
1226
00:56:01,580 --> 00:56:02,950
- My point is that this is a case
1227
00:56:02,950 --> 00:56:04,750
of the pot calling the kettle white.
1228
00:56:05,740 --> 00:56:07,620
- As sure is the day is long,
1229
00:56:07,620 --> 00:56:09,650
they will fuck you.
1230
00:56:09,650 --> 00:56:11,870
They will fuck you and me
1231
00:56:11,870 --> 00:56:16,050
and every gay and lesbian
and brown and black person.
1232
00:56:16,050 --> 00:56:18,760
You are delusional if you think
1233
00:56:18,760 --> 00:56:20,580
you're gonna come out ahead on this.
1234
00:56:20,580 --> 00:56:22,280
- Now tell me how you really feel.
1235
00:56:23,902 --> 00:56:24,735
- Come on.
1236
00:56:27,410 --> 00:56:30,550
- Bridget, this is just background noise.
1237
00:56:30,550 --> 00:56:31,383
Let's get married and start
1238
00:56:31,383 --> 00:56:33,193
an exciting new chapter in our lives.
1239
00:56:34,380 --> 00:56:37,360
- Do you know many happily
married people, Evan?
1240
00:56:37,360 --> 00:56:38,293
Because I don't.
1241
00:56:41,021 --> 00:56:42,320
(sighing)
1242
00:56:42,320 --> 00:56:43,958
This house is falling apart.
1243
00:56:43,958 --> 00:56:45,980
- You know, I think you
wanted to redo the house
1244
00:56:45,980 --> 00:56:47,266
so you threw that Halloween party
1245
00:56:47,266 --> 00:56:49,168
knowing how much damage it would make.
1246
00:56:49,168 --> 00:56:51,418
(laughing)
1247
00:56:52,604 --> 00:56:54,724
- We need to redo the carpets.
1248
00:56:54,724 --> 00:56:56,570
The walls need new paint.
1249
00:56:56,570 --> 00:56:58,953
- I need to get an
estimate on the foundation.
1250
00:57:00,730 --> 00:57:01,563
- Yeah.
1251
00:57:02,670 --> 00:57:04,220
Let's fix the foundation first.
1252
00:57:07,812 --> 00:57:09,434
♪ Play the movie ♪
1253
00:57:09,434 --> 00:57:11,336
♪ I want you to smile ♪
1254
00:57:11,336 --> 00:57:12,831
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
1255
00:57:12,831 --> 00:57:15,193
♪ Dream away for awhile ♪
1256
00:57:15,193 --> 00:57:18,664
♪ The look you had in
your eyes back then ♪
1257
00:57:18,664 --> 00:57:20,823
♪ We'll pretend ♪
1258
00:57:20,823 --> 00:57:22,943
♪ It's 85 again ♪
1259
00:57:22,943 --> 00:57:24,667
♪ Play the tape ♪
1260
00:57:24,667 --> 00:57:26,749
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
1261
00:57:26,749 --> 00:57:30,554
♪ Take me back again to
see the look of that crow ♪
1262
00:57:30,554 --> 00:57:33,913
♪ The power of love is
back on the screen ♪
1263
00:57:33,913 --> 00:57:36,225
♪ I will have ♪
1264
00:57:36,225 --> 00:57:38,881
♪ 85 again ♪
1265
00:57:38,881 --> 00:57:42,048
(exciting beat music)
1266
00:58:06,298 --> 00:58:08,260
- Ryan, your hands are shaking.
1267
00:58:08,260 --> 00:58:09,320
- It's freezing in here.
1268
00:58:09,320 --> 00:58:10,610
Would it kill you to
pay your heating bill?
1269
00:58:10,610 --> 00:58:11,680
- Just.
1270
00:58:11,680 --> 00:58:13,310
No, don't stab out my eye.
1271
00:58:13,310 --> 00:58:15,310
My insurance plan sucks!
1272
00:58:15,310 --> 00:58:16,143
- [Ryan] Damn!
1273
00:58:18,650 --> 00:58:19,800
- [Dov] How's your dad?
1274
00:58:20,849 --> 00:58:23,270
- Ugh, he won't die.
1275
00:58:23,270 --> 00:58:26,580
Did I tell you why I
became a tattoo artist?
1276
00:58:26,580 --> 00:58:28,050
It was to punish him.
1277
00:58:28,050 --> 00:58:30,780
I got this fancy degree in art history
1278
00:58:30,780 --> 00:58:32,660
that cost him a fortune and now I use it
1279
00:58:32,660 --> 00:58:34,340
to give people something they're regret
1280
00:58:34,340 --> 00:58:35,630
for the rest of their lives.
1281
00:58:35,630 --> 00:58:36,930
Like he regrets having me.
1282
00:58:39,080 --> 00:58:42,090
Bridget, you are so beautiful.
1283
00:58:42,090 --> 00:58:43,720
If I were you, I wouldn't
give a second thought
1284
00:58:43,720 --> 00:58:45,670
to the intern at Evan's office.
1285
00:58:45,670 --> 00:58:47,433
You're much prettier than she is.
1286
00:58:48,480 --> 00:58:49,763
Oh, excuse me.
1287
00:58:51,890 --> 00:58:55,250
- It's like a "don't do drugs, kids" PSA.
1288
00:58:56,276 --> 00:58:59,443
(exciting beat music)
1289
00:59:17,210 --> 00:59:18,819
- Attention!
1290
00:59:18,819 --> 00:59:20,109
Attention!
1291
00:59:20,109 --> 00:59:21,776
Ladies and gentlemen
1292
00:59:22,637 --> 00:59:24,655
and everyone else.
1293
00:59:24,655 --> 00:59:27,210
I have an announcement!
1294
00:59:27,210 --> 00:59:28,340
Bridget!
1295
00:59:28,340 --> 00:59:29,240
Bridget!
1296
00:59:29,240 --> 00:59:30,383
Where are you, baby?
1297
00:59:32,760 --> 00:59:35,060
I know most girls,
1298
00:59:35,060 --> 00:59:38,330
I know most girls lose their
virginity on prom night
1299
00:59:38,330 --> 00:59:41,600
but tonight, I'm hoping that my true love
1300
00:59:41,600 --> 00:59:44,240
will make an honest fella out of me.
1301
00:59:44,240 --> 00:59:45,860
- She's wasted.
1302
00:59:45,860 --> 00:59:49,183
- This has been burning a
whole in my pocket for weeks.
1303
00:59:50,290 --> 00:59:54,710
Bridget, will you do me
the extraordinary honor
1304
00:59:55,670 --> 00:59:57,233
of becoming my bride?
1305
00:59:59,410 --> 01:00:00,593
- Evan, you're drunk.
1306
01:00:02,000 --> 01:00:03,500
- Sapphire to match your eyes.
1307
01:00:05,680 --> 01:00:07,823
- There's something we
need to talk about first.
1308
01:00:12,890 --> 01:00:14,060
What are we gonna do about
1309
01:00:14,060 --> 01:00:15,810
all your late nights at the office?
1310
01:00:16,840 --> 01:00:17,863
- What do you mean?
1311
01:00:19,360 --> 01:00:21,520
- I'm talking about all
the special attention
1312
01:00:21,520 --> 01:00:23,070
you've been giving your intern.
1313
01:00:33,276 --> 01:00:34,145
(groaning)
1314
01:00:34,145 --> 01:00:35,230
- You told her!
1315
01:00:35,230 --> 01:00:36,070
Why would you tell her?!
1316
01:00:36,070 --> 01:00:38,160
- [Bridget] Evan, stop, let her go!
1317
01:00:38,160 --> 01:00:39,383
Tell me what?
1318
01:00:39,383 --> 01:00:40,603
- I wasn't me!
1319
01:00:45,640 --> 01:00:48,103
- She didn't tell me anything.
1320
01:00:49,890 --> 01:00:52,040
You just told me everything.
1321
01:00:56,941 --> 01:00:57,774
- It's all right.
1322
01:00:57,774 --> 01:01:00,767
She's always like playing hard to get.
1323
01:01:04,284 --> 01:01:06,520
(upbeat music)
1324
01:01:06,520 --> 01:01:08,460
- Hey, it's all right.
1325
01:01:08,460 --> 01:01:11,440
It's not a party until
something gets broken.
1326
01:01:11,440 --> 01:01:12,740
- Yeah, like my neck.
1327
01:01:13,860 --> 01:01:16,943
(upbeat dance music)
1328
01:01:39,360 --> 01:01:41,350
- Thanks for letting me stay here.
1329
01:01:41,350 --> 01:01:44,810
I really didn't wanna go home tonight.
1330
01:01:44,810 --> 01:01:46,210
- Are you sure you wanna stay here?
1331
01:01:46,210 --> 01:01:48,030
I can take the sofa, no problem.
1332
01:01:48,030 --> 01:01:48,863
- I don't wanna do that to you.
1333
01:01:48,863 --> 01:01:50,420
I don't wanna kick you out of your bed.
1334
01:01:50,420 --> 01:01:52,643
- I mean, it's actually totally okay.
1335
01:01:53,760 --> 01:01:54,913
- What is that?
1336
01:01:56,270 --> 01:01:57,350
- Oh.
1337
01:01:57,350 --> 01:01:58,183
That.
1338
01:01:58,183 --> 01:01:59,150
That's a long story.
1339
01:02:00,570 --> 01:02:03,120
Also the closest thing I've
had to a woman in my bedroom
1340
01:02:03,120 --> 01:02:04,072
in a long time.
1341
01:02:04,072 --> 01:02:07,060
Well, in this house in forever.
1342
01:02:07,060 --> 01:02:09,461
- As long as it's not a sex doll.
1343
01:02:09,461 --> 01:02:10,294
- What?
1344
01:02:10,294 --> 01:02:11,570
Oh no, that would be weird.
1345
01:02:11,570 --> 01:02:14,404
- Weirder than having a
mannequin in you bedroom?
1346
01:02:14,404 --> 01:02:17,200
(laughing)
1347
01:02:17,200 --> 01:02:19,670
- When I was in college, I
was a creative writing major
1348
01:02:19,670 --> 01:02:22,310
who was thoroughly invested in her art
1349
01:02:22,310 --> 01:02:24,582
and in hopes of attracting young ladies
1350
01:02:24,582 --> 01:02:26,669
I came up with this backstory
1351
01:02:26,669 --> 01:02:29,280
that the reason my dad
spiraled into alcoholism
1352
01:02:29,280 --> 01:02:33,330
was because he lost his
job in a mannequin factory.
1353
01:02:33,330 --> 01:02:36,593
- I bet the ladies couldn't resist.
1354
01:02:38,670 --> 01:02:39,780
Was any of that true?
1355
01:02:39,780 --> 01:02:41,273
- Only the alcoholism part.
1356
01:02:42,160 --> 01:02:43,350
Oh.
1357
01:02:43,350 --> 01:02:44,650
I didn't mean to go there.
1358
01:02:46,550 --> 01:02:48,060
While we're on the topic,
1359
01:02:48,060 --> 01:02:49,510
would you care for a bourbon?
1360
01:02:50,460 --> 01:02:51,293
- Sure.
1361
01:02:55,910 --> 01:02:58,800
Oh, "A The Dummies'
Guide to the Dark Ages."
1362
01:02:58,800 --> 01:03:00,950
I didn't know you were
into medieval stuff.
1363
01:03:01,900 --> 01:03:02,733
- Yeah, that's.
1364
01:03:04,877 --> 01:03:07,887
- "Let me show you how
a kiss should taste."
1365
01:03:09,900 --> 01:03:11,290
- Not ready for anyone to see that.
1366
01:03:11,290 --> 01:03:12,427
- Ah, still in utero?
1367
01:03:12,427 --> 01:03:14,677
(giggling)
1368
01:03:26,360 --> 01:03:30,960
Do you have a book full of
photos or Ryan somewhere
1369
01:03:30,960 --> 01:03:34,500
or maybe a secret stash of photos
1370
01:03:34,500 --> 01:03:36,420
on each one of your friends?
1371
01:03:36,420 --> 01:03:38,163
- No, you're my one and only.
1372
01:03:44,517 --> 01:03:46,367
- "Your eyes are blue-torched light."
1373
01:03:52,717 --> 01:03:54,377
- "Ice-kissed frost fire."
1374
01:03:55,497 --> 01:03:57,667
- [Both] "My wasted heart melts there."
1375
01:04:00,070 --> 01:04:00,903
- It was you?
1376
01:04:02,880 --> 01:04:03,713
- Yeah.
1377
01:04:08,580 --> 01:04:11,246
- You wrote that for Evan.
1378
01:04:11,246 --> 01:04:13,360
- No, no.
1379
01:04:13,360 --> 01:04:15,350
I wrote that for you.
1380
01:04:15,350 --> 01:04:17,763
For you to find.
1381
01:04:22,270 --> 01:04:24,030
When you're alone and you
think no one's watching,
1382
01:04:24,030 --> 01:04:26,750
you get this look on your face
1383
01:04:26,750 --> 01:04:27,988
and I always wonder what you're thinking
1384
01:04:27,988 --> 01:04:30,440
because you look so sad
1385
01:04:30,440 --> 01:04:32,233
but your eyes, they just,
1386
01:04:33,378 --> 01:04:35,823
they turn the most
remarkable shade of blue.
1387
01:04:38,400 --> 01:04:39,493
- You notice that?
1388
01:04:40,670 --> 01:04:44,163
- Bridget, nothing about you
has ever escaped my attention.
1389
01:04:50,660 --> 01:04:52,340
- Maybe if you stare at
her house long enough,
1390
01:04:52,340 --> 01:04:54,667
she'll decide she doesn't
want to divorce you anymore.
1391
01:04:54,667 --> 01:04:55,917
- That's what I'm hoping.
1392
01:04:57,470 --> 01:04:59,460
- This is technically trespassing.
1393
01:04:59,460 --> 01:05:02,780
If we end up in jail, I'm
gonna miss Black Friday.
1394
01:05:02,780 --> 01:05:05,310
- [Trista] Calm down, you'll
be out by Cyber Monday.
1395
01:05:05,310 --> 01:05:06,143
- What's that?
1396
01:05:08,950 --> 01:05:10,520
Hey, Trista?
1397
01:05:10,520 --> 01:05:11,870
Can you spend the night at my house?
1398
01:05:11,870 --> 01:05:14,040
- What's up with you being
afraid of your apartment?
1399
01:05:14,040 --> 01:05:17,640
- Evan says it's because I'm
paranoid from all the coke.
1400
01:05:17,640 --> 01:05:19,520
Hey, can we talk about something?
1401
01:05:19,520 --> 01:05:20,403
- Shit.
1402
01:05:22,135 --> 01:05:23,348
- [Ryan] What's going on?
1403
01:05:23,348 --> 01:05:25,073
(Trista laughing)
1404
01:05:25,073 --> 01:05:25,990
- Oh, look.
1405
01:05:27,900 --> 01:05:28,733
Oh no.
1406
01:05:28,733 --> 01:05:29,566
No, no, no, no.
1407
01:05:30,950 --> 01:05:32,120
She's with someone.
1408
01:05:32,120 --> 01:05:32,953
- No way.
1409
01:05:34,855 --> 01:05:36,670
- That bitch.
1410
01:05:36,670 --> 01:05:37,970
- Maybe that's her sister.
1411
01:05:41,650 --> 01:05:43,573
I really hope that's not her sister.
1412
01:05:45,460 --> 01:05:46,293
- I've had enough.
1413
01:05:46,293 --> 01:05:47,606
- Trista, no!
1414
01:05:47,606 --> 01:05:48,856
- Let go of me.
1415
01:05:49,897 --> 01:05:52,917
(groaning)
1416
01:05:52,917 --> 01:05:54,917
I want to go fight her.
1417
01:05:57,509 --> 01:05:59,690
I'm gonna fight her.
1418
01:05:59,690 --> 01:06:02,343
Jesus Christ, you've got
freakish coke strength.
1419
01:06:03,511 --> 01:06:05,761
(groaning)
1420
01:06:09,520 --> 01:06:12,310
Here we go, you're coming with me.
1421
01:06:12,310 --> 01:06:14,560
(groaning)
1422
01:06:15,592 --> 01:06:17,291
I gotta go.
1423
01:06:17,291 --> 01:06:19,730
(shushing)
1424
01:06:19,730 --> 01:06:20,563
Oh my God.
1425
01:06:23,204 --> 01:06:24,920
- I'm performing an intervention.
1426
01:06:24,920 --> 01:06:25,753
- Jesus.
1427
01:06:27,508 --> 01:06:28,591
- Don't move.
1428
01:06:38,810 --> 01:06:40,700
- [Trista] Get off me!
1429
01:06:40,700 --> 01:06:42,460
- You may be stronger than me
1430
01:06:42,460 --> 01:06:43,780
but I am meaner.
1431
01:06:43,780 --> 01:06:46,026
And you are not going into that house.
1432
01:06:46,026 --> 01:06:48,193
(sighing)
1433
01:06:55,780 --> 01:06:58,261
- Evan's always been the one, you know?
1434
01:06:58,261 --> 01:07:02,300
I never even had any other
girlfriends in high school.
1435
01:07:02,300 --> 01:07:03,710
Believe it or not,
1436
01:07:03,710 --> 01:07:05,093
I was kinda of a geek.
1437
01:07:05,093 --> 01:07:07,609
(giggling)
1438
01:07:07,609 --> 01:07:09,363
Sometimes I do wonder,
1439
01:07:10,380 --> 01:07:11,767
I think to myself,
1440
01:07:11,767 --> 01:07:14,556
"What if Evan hadn't
picked me up that night?"
1441
01:07:14,556 --> 01:07:18,700
I don't necessarily subscribe
to M-Theory or String Theory
1442
01:07:18,700 --> 01:07:20,725
but the very possibility of a multiverse
1443
01:07:20,725 --> 01:07:22,219
has got to make you wonder.
1444
01:07:22,219 --> 01:07:26,053
- Well, if you hadn't been with
Evan, we never would've met.
1445
01:07:27,170 --> 01:07:30,273
- I thought I'd be angry, furious, upset.
1446
01:07:31,610 --> 01:07:33,440
Instead, I just feel...
1447
01:07:34,970 --> 01:07:36,093
Emptiness.
1448
01:07:38,413 --> 01:07:42,755
Speaking of emptiness.
1449
01:07:42,755 --> 01:07:44,922
(sighing)
1450
01:07:47,340 --> 01:07:50,680
- The reason I spend so
much time around Evan
1451
01:07:50,680 --> 01:07:52,660
is because wherever she is
1452
01:07:54,520 --> 01:07:56,270
you are there too.
1453
01:07:56,270 --> 01:07:57,103
- Huh?
1454
01:07:57,103 --> 01:07:59,970
- And I think the reason
I'm not seeing anyone
1455
01:07:59,970 --> 01:08:02,310
or looking to meet anyone is because
1456
01:08:03,950 --> 01:08:05,620
to me you are perfect.
1457
01:08:07,670 --> 01:08:09,170
- Oh my God.
1458
01:08:09,170 --> 01:08:10,570
- Since the moment I met you
1459
01:08:11,671 --> 01:08:12,504
I've been
1460
01:08:13,930 --> 01:08:14,823
secretly,
1461
01:08:15,790 --> 01:08:16,763
madly,
1462
01:08:19,080 --> 01:08:20,113
in love with you.
1463
01:08:24,420 --> 01:08:26,260
- How could I not have seen this?
1464
01:08:31,050 --> 01:08:32,910
How could I not have seen you?
1465
01:08:32,910 --> 01:08:34,660
- I wish I could just
1466
01:08:35,732 --> 01:08:39,410
cut you into a million pieces
and scatter you across the sky
1467
01:08:39,410 --> 01:08:41,023
and count you like stars.
1468
01:08:42,510 --> 01:08:44,140
- I think that
1469
01:08:45,210 --> 01:08:49,483
is the most romantic thing
anyone has ever said to me.
1470
01:08:50,368 --> 01:08:54,285
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1471
01:09:18,590 --> 01:09:21,482
- I've loved you since
the moment I saw you.
1472
01:09:21,482 --> 01:09:26,482
Not a day's gone by I
haven't dreamed of this!
1473
01:09:31,354 --> 01:09:33,195
(smacking)
1474
01:09:33,195 --> 01:09:35,330
(gasping)
1475
01:09:35,330 --> 01:09:36,163
- I'm sorry.
1476
01:09:37,010 --> 01:09:38,393
I don't know why I did that.
1477
01:09:40,117 --> 01:09:42,058
- You're a goddess.
1478
01:09:42,058 --> 01:09:46,196
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1479
01:09:46,196 --> 01:09:48,363
(huffing)
1480
01:10:01,710 --> 01:10:03,877
(huffing)
1481
01:10:15,949 --> 01:10:18,199
(laughing)
1482
01:10:26,914 --> 01:10:28,986
- My bra.
(giggling)
1483
01:10:28,986 --> 01:10:32,903
(exciting New Wave beat music)
1484
01:10:43,893 --> 01:10:46,060
(moaning)
1485
01:11:00,811 --> 01:11:04,894
- You're the most beautiful
thing I've ever seen.
1486
01:11:09,704 --> 01:11:12,871
(dramatic beat music)
1487
01:11:16,673 --> 01:11:19,340
(ambient music)
1488
01:11:29,048 --> 01:11:30,670
Hey.
1489
01:11:30,670 --> 01:11:31,503
- Hey.
1490
01:11:38,537 --> 01:11:39,903
Wait.
1491
01:11:39,903 --> 01:11:41,236
I wanna see you.
1492
01:11:46,940 --> 01:11:48,102
There you are.
1493
01:11:48,102 --> 01:11:50,352
(giggling)
1494
01:11:54,743 --> 01:11:56,910
(moaning)
1495
01:12:01,550 --> 01:12:04,079
(knocking)
1496
01:12:04,079 --> 01:12:05,152
- Trista?
1497
01:12:05,152 --> 01:12:05,985
- [Evan] It's Evan.
1498
01:12:05,985 --> 01:12:07,601
(gasping)
1499
01:12:07,601 --> 01:12:09,708
- How is she here?
1500
01:12:09,708 --> 01:12:12,071
- No one locked the door!
1501
01:12:12,071 --> 01:12:12,904
Hold on.
1502
01:12:12,904 --> 01:12:14,339
(thudding)
Shit!
1503
01:12:14,339 --> 01:12:15,412
(groaning)
1504
01:12:15,412 --> 01:12:16,995
Hold on one minute.
1505
01:12:22,013 --> 01:12:23,560
- A thousand pardons
1506
01:12:23,560 --> 01:12:26,283
for my behavior last night.
1507
01:12:28,050 --> 01:12:30,750
I know you are not the
one who told Bridget.
1508
01:12:30,750 --> 01:12:32,940
I know you wouldn't do that.
1509
01:12:32,940 --> 01:12:34,180
- Hey.
1510
01:12:34,180 --> 01:12:36,870
Now is not the best time right now.
1511
01:12:36,870 --> 01:12:38,403
If you know what I mean.
1512
01:12:40,665 --> 01:12:42,560
- Oh shit.
1513
01:12:42,560 --> 01:12:44,446
You have a girl back there?
1514
01:12:44,446 --> 01:12:46,090
(laughing)
1515
01:12:46,090 --> 01:12:48,135
- Yeah, I can't wait to
tell you all about it.
1516
01:12:48,135 --> 01:12:49,830
- I gotta tell you, I
always wondered about you.
1517
01:12:49,830 --> 01:12:51,790
I thought maybe you were
one of those straight girls
1518
01:12:51,790 --> 01:12:52,840
who pretends to be gay
1519
01:12:52,840 --> 01:12:55,160
because she thinks it
makes her more interesting.
1520
01:12:55,160 --> 01:12:57,000
- Evan, you have no idea.
1521
01:12:57,000 --> 01:12:58,130
- Oh.
1522
01:12:58,130 --> 01:13:00,883
Hey, just confirm for me
that it's a woman in there.
1523
01:13:09,770 --> 01:13:11,370
- This isn't what it looks like.
1524
01:13:12,280 --> 01:13:14,330
- It looks like you fucked my girlfriend.
1525
01:13:16,400 --> 01:13:19,433
- That's exactly what it looks like.
1526
01:13:20,910 --> 01:13:22,903
- You know it wasn't her idea, Evan.
1527
01:13:26,420 --> 01:13:28,350
- I know that if we fight, you'll win,
1528
01:13:28,350 --> 01:13:30,980
but I will inflict as much
damage on you as possible
1529
01:13:30,980 --> 01:13:31,900
before you bring me down.
1530
01:13:31,900 --> 01:13:33,320
And you will have to kill me
1531
01:13:33,320 --> 01:13:35,220
before I let you go anywhere near her.
1532
01:13:38,600 --> 01:13:41,393
- You got a lot of, what is
that word you people use?
1533
01:13:42,460 --> 01:13:44,120
Chutzpah?
1534
01:13:44,120 --> 01:13:45,517
Yeah, chutzpah.
1535
01:13:46,950 --> 01:13:48,170
- Stop it, Evan.
1536
01:13:48,170 --> 01:13:50,023
- Do not speak to me!
1537
01:13:54,800 --> 01:13:57,463
Do not ever come back to my house again.
1538
01:13:59,250 --> 01:14:01,033
I don't ever wanna see your face.
1539
01:14:29,221 --> 01:14:32,221
(somber beat music)
1540
01:14:56,010 --> 01:14:56,843
- Hey.
1541
01:14:58,230 --> 01:14:59,780
Hey!
1542
01:14:59,780 --> 01:15:01,153
- Hey, sleepyhead.
1543
01:15:02,133 --> 01:15:03,093
- What time is it?
1544
01:15:04,240 --> 01:15:05,900
- Time for me to go to work.
1545
01:15:05,900 --> 01:15:08,690
I'll be in so much
trouble if I'm late again.
1546
01:15:08,690 --> 01:15:10,230
- How long have I been here?
1547
01:15:10,230 --> 01:15:12,173
- Hello, since we got back.
1548
01:15:13,180 --> 01:15:14,530
- Wait.
1549
01:15:14,530 --> 01:15:17,650
We went to Paige's, you tackled me
1550
01:15:17,650 --> 01:15:21,647
and why don't I remember
anything after that?
1551
01:15:21,647 --> 01:15:24,850
- We came back here and
you were super upset
1552
01:15:24,850 --> 01:15:27,150
and I have some diazepam, so--
1553
01:15:27,150 --> 01:15:28,720
- How much did you give me?
1554
01:15:28,720 --> 01:15:30,440
- You asked for a loading dose.
1555
01:15:30,440 --> 01:15:31,760
- Fuck.
1556
01:15:31,760 --> 01:15:34,310
- And I don't play so I got out
these old pharmacy textbooks
1557
01:15:34,310 --> 01:15:37,711
and I asked you your weight
and I added 20 pounds
1558
01:15:37,711 --> 01:15:41,848
because I know I always take
off 20 when anyone asks me.
1559
01:15:41,848 --> 01:15:43,010
- I gotta get out of here.
1560
01:15:43,010 --> 01:15:44,060
- I wouldn't do that.
1561
01:15:46,220 --> 01:15:47,053
Oh no.
1562
01:15:55,200 --> 01:15:57,323
Like I said, a loading dose.
1563
01:15:58,380 --> 01:15:59,313
Up we go.
1564
01:16:00,737 --> 01:16:02,180
(groaning)
1565
01:16:02,180 --> 01:16:03,733
- This is why my wife left me.
1566
01:16:06,270 --> 01:16:09,053
No one should have to live like this.
1567
01:16:09,053 --> 01:16:11,303
- I decline my invitation
to your pity party.
1568
01:16:14,550 --> 01:16:18,107
- This is like "Whatever
Happened to Baby Jane."
1569
01:16:19,232 --> 01:16:20,580
And I'm baby Jane.
(laughing)
1570
01:16:20,580 --> 01:16:22,410
- If the rule that you
followed led you here,
1571
01:16:22,410 --> 01:16:24,013
of what use was the rule?
1572
01:16:24,882 --> 01:16:27,132
(groaning)
1573
01:16:28,202 --> 01:16:29,977
(laughing)
1574
01:16:29,977 --> 01:16:32,630
- You dare get existential on me now.
1575
01:16:32,630 --> 01:16:35,633
- You're Monday-morning
quarterbacking your entire life.
1576
01:17:02,400 --> 01:17:03,233
- Shoot.
1577
01:17:07,545 --> 01:17:08,393
(Evan grunting)
1578
01:17:08,393 --> 01:17:09,750
(gasping)
1579
01:17:09,750 --> 01:17:11,289
You scared me.
1580
01:17:11,289 --> 01:17:12,963
- I had your things sent to you.
1581
01:17:13,990 --> 01:17:16,890
- Yeah, well, you forgot some
of my weapons, so here I am.
1582
01:17:18,000 --> 01:17:19,560
I thought you'd be sleeping.
1583
01:17:19,560 --> 01:17:22,120
- I've reverted to my old schedule.
1584
01:17:22,120 --> 01:17:24,913
Sleep by day, live by night.
1585
01:17:27,250 --> 01:17:28,570
- What about your job?
1586
01:17:28,570 --> 01:17:30,170
- Oh yeah, I haven't been going.
1587
01:17:31,320 --> 01:17:32,153
- Why?
1588
01:17:34,820 --> 01:17:37,590
- My dad took a contribution
from an organization
1589
01:17:37,590 --> 01:17:40,700
whose leader once said that
gays should be rounded up
1590
01:17:40,700 --> 01:17:41,923
and thrown off cliffs.
1591
01:17:42,980 --> 01:17:43,930
- Are you quitting?
1592
01:17:52,410 --> 01:17:54,040
I moved in with Ryan.
1593
01:17:54,040 --> 01:17:54,873
- I heard.
1594
01:17:55,830 --> 01:17:56,687
Will I also be footing the bill
1595
01:17:56,687 --> 01:17:58,353
for your share of Ryan's rent?
1596
01:17:59,319 --> 01:18:01,180
- I don't have to listen to this.
1597
01:18:01,180 --> 01:18:02,013
- Sweets,
1598
01:18:03,830 --> 01:18:05,530
you couldn't ignore me if you try.
1599
01:18:06,700 --> 01:18:08,410
- Don't throw that in my face!
1600
01:18:08,410 --> 01:18:09,243
- What?
1601
01:18:09,243 --> 01:18:11,370
That I've been paying for
your Ivy League education?
1602
01:18:11,370 --> 01:18:12,840
Or that I have supported you for years
1603
01:18:12,840 --> 01:18:17,840
and I've only asked you for
one, one thing, in return?!
1604
01:18:18,300 --> 01:18:21,330
- How could I marry someone
who did what you did to me?
1605
01:18:21,330 --> 01:18:22,400
- I did nothing to you!
1606
01:18:22,400 --> 01:18:23,320
- Yeah, that's right,
1607
01:18:23,320 --> 01:18:24,880
you were too busy doing
it to someone else!
1608
01:18:24,880 --> 01:18:26,240
- You let Dov fuck you!
1609
01:18:26,240 --> 01:18:29,120
I know it wasn't the other
way around, pillow princess.
1610
01:18:29,120 --> 01:18:31,203
You've always been more of a taker.
1611
01:18:32,800 --> 01:18:36,680
- You have fucked everyone and everything
1612
01:18:36,680 --> 01:18:38,980
and you've been doing
it since the day we met!
1613
01:18:40,300 --> 01:18:41,133
And I,
1614
01:18:43,120 --> 01:18:45,100
I loved you too much to admit to myself
1615
01:18:45,100 --> 01:18:45,933
what I knew to be true.
1616
01:18:45,933 --> 01:18:47,990
- Love me or you needed me?
1617
01:18:47,990 --> 01:18:49,750
Which one, Bridget?
1618
01:18:49,750 --> 01:18:50,583
You love me?
1619
01:18:51,450 --> 01:18:54,080
It's very easy to be
taken care of, isn't it?
1620
01:18:54,080 --> 01:18:56,580
Makes it so much easier
not to see the things
1621
01:18:56,580 --> 01:18:58,010
you don't want to.
1622
01:19:00,090 --> 01:19:00,923
What changed it for you?
1623
01:19:00,923 --> 01:19:03,192
What made you go, "You know,
I've had a really great time
1624
01:19:03,192 --> 01:19:04,777
"not having to work for anything
1625
01:19:04,777 --> 01:19:06,107
"but now I think I'm gonna get rid of
1626
01:19:06,107 --> 01:19:07,597
"good old reliable Evan."
1627
01:19:09,990 --> 01:19:11,963
- I fucking love you!
1628
01:19:12,923 --> 01:19:16,310
I've loved you since I was 18 years old.
1629
01:19:16,310 --> 01:19:18,120
Not a day has gone by since
1630
01:19:18,120 --> 01:19:20,920
that you haven't been the
love of my fucking life!
1631
01:19:20,920 --> 01:19:23,510
I know you're a cheater,
I know you screw around.
1632
01:19:23,510 --> 01:19:25,913
That is why I wouldn't marry you!
1633
01:19:25,913 --> 01:19:28,650
- I will stop fucking around
when I have tangible proof
1634
01:19:28,650 --> 01:19:29,813
that you're not in this for a free ride.
1635
01:19:29,813 --> 01:19:31,870
- You had something better than tangible,
1636
01:19:31,870 --> 01:19:34,290
you had something real!
1637
01:19:34,290 --> 01:19:36,140
- You're discussing us in past tense.
1638
01:19:37,220 --> 01:19:39,037
Doesn't get any more real than that.
1639
01:19:41,758 --> 01:19:43,533
Shut up for a second.
1640
01:19:43,533 --> 01:19:44,950
Shut the fuck up.
1641
01:19:47,000 --> 01:19:49,050
Or maybe it was your guilt that was real.
1642
01:19:51,570 --> 01:19:54,450
- And why would I feel guilty, Evan?
1643
01:19:54,450 --> 01:19:57,170
- I've always been there for
you when no one else was.
1644
01:19:57,170 --> 01:19:59,553
Maybe you were guilting
yourself into staying with me.
1645
01:20:02,511 --> 01:20:04,043
- Stupid.
1646
01:20:04,043 --> 01:20:05,593
Stupid! Stupid! Stupid! Stupid!
1647
01:20:08,780 --> 01:20:10,810
You are telling me that
you've been fucking around
1648
01:20:10,810 --> 01:20:13,147
this whole time because you thought
1649
01:20:13,147 --> 01:20:15,580
I felt I owed you something?!
1650
01:20:15,580 --> 01:20:17,744
That I was using you?!
1651
01:20:17,744 --> 01:20:20,980
And all you had to do was
ask me and I woulda told you
1652
01:20:20,980 --> 01:20:22,523
that none of that was true!
1653
01:20:27,610 --> 01:20:28,543
I love you.
1654
01:20:30,660 --> 01:20:32,040
I love you! I love you!
1655
01:20:32,040 --> 01:20:33,003
I love you!
1656
01:20:39,280 --> 01:20:40,820
Say
1657
01:20:40,820 --> 01:20:41,653
something.
1658
01:20:47,103 --> 01:20:48,603
- Good luck in the real world.
1659
01:20:52,011 --> 01:20:54,261
(smacking)
1660
01:20:55,242 --> 01:20:57,575
(chuckling)
1661
01:21:06,880 --> 01:21:08,730
- This is the part where I leave you.
1662
01:21:33,811 --> 01:21:36,728
(faint beat music)
1663
01:21:55,207 --> 01:21:57,817
"The Shipwreck Diaries.
1664
01:21:57,817 --> 01:22:00,950
"A Novel by Dov Dolenz."
1665
01:22:03,080 --> 01:22:04,383
You wrote a book?
1666
01:22:06,812 --> 01:22:08,110
(laughing)
1667
01:22:08,110 --> 01:22:08,943
- Yeah.
1668
01:22:11,050 --> 01:22:11,970
- Let's go read it.
1669
01:22:11,970 --> 01:22:12,803
- Okay.
1670
01:22:25,943 --> 01:22:27,090
- Dov.
1671
01:22:27,090 --> 01:22:27,923
- Yeah?
1672
01:22:29,740 --> 01:22:30,883
- This is amazing.
1673
01:22:32,510 --> 01:22:33,710
- Are you sure?
1674
01:22:33,710 --> 01:22:35,580
I mean, I've had women say that before
1675
01:22:35,580 --> 01:22:38,535
but I haven't always
trusted their sincerity.
1676
01:22:38,535 --> 01:22:39,368
- Yes.
1677
01:22:40,320 --> 01:22:43,310
This is so exciting, I
mean, you wrote a book.
1678
01:22:43,310 --> 01:22:45,530
- I'll be back to writing
engagement announcements tomorrow.
1679
01:22:45,530 --> 01:22:48,313
- Yeah, maybe, but this
book is gonna be big.
1680
01:22:49,780 --> 01:22:51,513
When did you do this?
1681
01:22:52,400 --> 01:22:54,000
- The last three nights I just stayed up.
1682
01:22:54,000 --> 01:22:55,323
It was pouring out of me.
1683
01:22:56,390 --> 01:22:57,223
It was you.
1684
01:22:59,020 --> 01:23:01,970
Bridget, I couldn't have written
this if it wasn't for you.
1685
01:23:08,080 --> 01:23:08,913
- Dov.
1686
01:23:11,886 --> 01:23:14,053
(moaning)
1687
01:23:23,555 --> 01:23:25,722
(huffing)
1688
01:23:44,500 --> 01:23:46,673
- Can I be godmother
to your finger babies?
1689
01:23:49,360 --> 01:23:50,193
- Very funny.
1690
01:23:51,657 --> 01:23:53,824
(moaning)
1691
01:24:00,592 --> 01:24:03,363
I need to share this book with Ryan.
1692
01:24:03,363 --> 01:24:04,196
- No
1693
01:24:04,196 --> 01:24:05,029
- I gotta show her.
1694
01:24:07,560 --> 01:24:09,690
Yeah, yes, yes, yes.
1695
01:24:19,853 --> 01:24:22,020
(sighing)
1696
01:24:25,210 --> 01:24:26,373
I'll be back.
1697
01:24:30,964 --> 01:24:33,553
(sighing)
1698
01:24:33,553 --> 01:24:37,303
Ryan, Dov wrote a novel
and it's really good.
1699
01:24:38,526 --> 01:24:40,100
- "The Shipwreck Diaries."
1700
01:24:40,100 --> 01:24:41,600
I loved that when I was a kid.
1701
01:24:42,440 --> 01:24:45,123
- This is Dov's book.
1702
01:24:46,420 --> 01:24:47,360
- Gotta split.
1703
01:24:47,360 --> 01:24:49,233
One of my friends is waiting on me.
1704
01:24:49,233 --> 01:24:51,380
Have I got any messages?
1705
01:24:51,380 --> 01:24:52,651
Is my dad dead?
1706
01:24:52,651 --> 01:24:53,484
(giggling)
Dad-dead.
1707
01:24:53,484 --> 01:24:54,540
- Ryan, are these the new friends
1708
01:24:54,540 --> 01:24:56,120
that Evan had to save you from?
1709
01:24:56,120 --> 01:24:58,723
- Oh, that Evan, telling
tales out of school.
1710
01:25:05,520 --> 01:25:07,053
- She's falling apart.
1711
01:25:07,930 --> 01:25:10,130
- Hey, even the Sistine
Chapel is crumbling.
1712
01:25:11,790 --> 01:25:12,623
- Yeah.
1713
01:25:14,170 --> 01:25:15,003
Dov,
1714
01:25:17,040 --> 01:25:17,943
your book.
1715
01:25:19,170 --> 01:25:20,530
- Second thoughts.
1716
01:25:20,530 --> 01:25:22,470
Not as great as you thought
it was five minutes ago?
1717
01:25:22,470 --> 01:25:23,510
- It's amazing.
1718
01:25:23,510 --> 01:25:26,543
It's just the characters,
1719
01:25:28,010 --> 01:25:29,860
it's us, right, the gang?
1720
01:25:29,860 --> 01:25:32,340
You, me, Trista,
1721
01:25:32,340 --> 01:25:33,680
Evan, Ryan?
1722
01:25:33,680 --> 01:25:36,233
- Yeah but I'm not
anticipating any lawsuits.
1723
01:25:38,980 --> 01:25:40,317
- And I'm Kahlan
1724
01:25:40,317 --> 01:25:41,353
and you're Cara?
1725
01:25:42,720 --> 01:25:44,451
- Pretty obvious, huh?
1726
01:25:44,451 --> 01:25:45,620
- And Kahlan and Cara,
1727
01:25:45,620 --> 01:25:47,730
they wind up together in the end, right?
1728
01:25:47,730 --> 01:25:50,090
Specifically moving in
together and getting married.
1729
01:25:50,090 --> 01:25:53,610
- Oh, right, but Bridget,
it's just a book.
1730
01:25:53,610 --> 01:25:56,693
I've been up the past
two days, three days.
1731
01:25:58,627 --> 01:26:00,989
It's all artistic license.
1732
01:26:00,989 --> 01:26:01,822
- I know.
1733
01:26:04,410 --> 01:26:06,133
I just need you to understand,
1734
01:26:08,090 --> 01:26:10,223
I just got out of a really bad situation.
1735
01:26:11,900 --> 01:26:14,300
- Is this what you think
this is, a bad situation?
1736
01:26:14,300 --> 01:26:15,303
- No, no.
1737
01:26:18,268 --> 01:26:19,583
It's wonderful.
1738
01:26:21,160 --> 01:26:23,603
But it's still a situation.
1739
01:26:25,247 --> 01:26:26,080
- Oh.
1740
01:26:27,420 --> 01:26:28,253
Okay.
1741
01:26:29,770 --> 01:26:31,717
- That night, when I
found out you'd written
1742
01:26:31,717 --> 01:26:33,103
"blue torch light" for me,
1743
01:26:33,990 --> 01:26:36,200
and then you wrote
another poem on the spot
1744
01:26:37,600 --> 01:26:41,060
and beautiful words were
just coming out of you.
1745
01:26:41,060 --> 01:26:43,293
Beautiful words always come out of you.
1746
01:26:44,310 --> 01:26:49,000
I just got so lost in
everything that you were saying
1747
01:26:49,000 --> 01:26:51,500
and in everything that you are.
1748
01:26:51,500 --> 01:26:52,993
- And I'm really good in bed.
1749
01:26:59,683 --> 01:27:01,733
- It's easy to fall in love with someone.
1750
01:27:04,520 --> 01:27:06,543
Falling out of love,
1751
01:27:07,410 --> 01:27:09,733
that is a lot harder.
1752
01:27:11,860 --> 01:27:14,010
- It always comes back
to Evan, doesn't it?
1753
01:27:16,830 --> 01:27:17,850
- I wish...
1754
01:27:19,420 --> 01:27:20,253
I...
1755
01:27:23,040 --> 01:27:25,513
I wish I could forget.
1756
01:27:26,470 --> 01:27:27,303
But...
1757
01:27:29,590 --> 01:27:31,140
She's been the love of my life.
1758
01:27:38,800 --> 01:27:40,001
- Okay.
1759
01:27:40,001 --> 01:27:41,373
I understand.
1760
01:27:43,570 --> 01:27:44,983
You gave me the inspiration.
1761
01:27:46,560 --> 01:27:49,393
I got the book but I lost the girl.
1762
01:27:50,570 --> 01:27:55,200
- You are gonna get so
much more out of this book
1763
01:27:55,200 --> 01:27:56,773
than you ever would me.
1764
01:27:58,310 --> 01:27:59,823
- I respectfully disagree.
1765
01:28:06,900 --> 01:28:08,253
- I don't wanna lose you.
1766
01:28:11,877 --> 01:28:12,710
I need you.
1767
01:28:14,700 --> 01:28:16,783
(crying)
1768
01:28:19,510 --> 01:28:20,360
- I need you too.
1769
01:28:22,235 --> 01:28:25,902
(faint dramatic beat music)
1770
01:28:30,640 --> 01:28:32,820
- Nobody understands the
rules for the Brat Pack.
1771
01:28:32,820 --> 01:28:35,620
The rules for the Brat Pack are, A,
1772
01:28:35,620 --> 01:28:37,900
starring in either "St. Elmo's Fire"
1773
01:28:37,900 --> 01:28:39,060
or "The Breakfast Club,"
1774
01:28:39,060 --> 01:28:40,970
and B, being in at least one other movie
1775
01:28:40,970 --> 01:28:42,640
with anther Brat Packer.
1776
01:28:42,640 --> 01:28:44,910
So that's eight people.
1777
01:28:44,910 --> 01:28:46,700
Judd Nelson,
1778
01:28:46,700 --> 01:28:48,200
Rob Lowe,
1779
01:28:48,200 --> 01:28:49,810
Molly Ringwald,
1780
01:28:49,810 --> 01:28:51,750
Anthony Michael Hall, Emilio Estevez,
1781
01:28:51,750 --> 01:28:54,170
Ally Sheedy, Andrew McCarthy,
1782
01:28:54,170 --> 01:28:56,620
and last but certainly not least,
1783
01:28:56,620 --> 01:28:57,680
Demi Moore.
1784
01:28:57,680 --> 01:28:58,650
- Who didn't make the cut?
1785
01:28:58,650 --> 01:29:00,070
- Mare Winningham.
1786
01:29:00,070 --> 01:29:02,400
Mare was in "St. Elmo's Fire"
1787
01:29:02,400 --> 01:29:05,000
but never in another movie
with another Brat Packer.
1788
01:29:10,119 --> 01:29:11,460
- Mare Winningham.
1789
01:29:11,460 --> 01:29:12,390
Who is he?
1790
01:29:12,390 --> 01:29:15,603
- Oh my God, I don't even
know why I talk to you.
1791
01:29:16,785 --> 01:29:19,880
- Whenever you start talking
about pistachios and inter--
1792
01:29:19,880 --> 01:29:21,900
- Pastiche and intertertextuality.
1793
01:29:21,900 --> 01:29:23,610
- Right, intertertextuality.
1794
01:29:23,610 --> 01:29:26,710
It sounds like a new sexual orientation.
1795
01:29:26,710 --> 01:29:29,460
- If you were on the Table
of Elements, you'd be moron.
1796
01:29:36,000 --> 01:29:37,033
Yeah, it's me!
1797
01:29:44,217 --> 01:29:46,300
(crying)
1798
01:29:48,062 --> 01:29:49,812
- Is your phone hot?
1799
01:30:06,163 --> 01:30:06,996
- Evan?
1800
01:30:13,046 --> 01:30:13,879
Evan?
1801
01:30:18,206 --> 01:30:19,039
Evan?
1802
01:30:26,328 --> 01:30:27,161
Evan.
1803
01:30:29,266 --> 01:30:30,263
Evan.
1804
01:30:32,900 --> 01:30:34,480
Hey.
1805
01:30:34,480 --> 01:30:35,313
Evan!
1806
01:30:35,313 --> 01:30:36,153
Come on, wake up!
1807
01:30:39,850 --> 01:30:40,683
Evan.
1808
01:30:42,062 --> 01:30:44,229
(sighing)
1809
01:30:51,909 --> 01:30:54,076
(gasping)
1810
01:30:56,050 --> 01:30:57,190
I had to.
1811
01:30:57,190 --> 01:30:59,583
- Why are you here?
1812
01:31:00,640 --> 01:31:01,473
Again!
1813
01:31:02,769 --> 01:31:03,713
Fuck!
1814
01:31:05,460 --> 01:31:07,040
Nice, She-Ra.
1815
01:31:07,040 --> 01:31:08,453
- It's invaluable, okay?
1816
01:31:08,453 --> 01:31:10,030
I couldn't leave it in the car.
1817
01:31:10,030 --> 01:31:12,310
- It's nice to know you
cherish something so dearly.
1818
01:31:12,310 --> 01:31:14,000
- Why haven't you been taking my calls?
1819
01:31:14,000 --> 01:31:15,280
- I'm focused on the future.
1820
01:31:15,280 --> 01:31:17,660
Not the past.
1821
01:31:17,660 --> 01:31:21,170
- This isn't about me and
you, Evan, this is about Ryan.
1822
01:31:21,170 --> 01:31:23,300
She called me while I was
at the museum, crying.
1823
01:31:23,300 --> 01:31:24,617
She said the debt collectors
are coming to take away
1824
01:31:24,617 --> 01:31:26,759
all of her stuff tomorrow.
1825
01:31:26,759 --> 01:31:27,870
- I thought she was loaded.
1826
01:31:27,870 --> 01:31:30,820
- I don't understand it
anymore than you do but
1827
01:31:30,820 --> 01:31:33,100
she said she's gonna lock
herself in her bathroom
1828
01:31:33,100 --> 01:31:35,560
and drown herself in the bathtub.
1829
01:31:35,560 --> 01:31:37,860
- That is literally an
impossible thing to do.
1830
01:31:39,640 --> 01:31:41,860
- Well we have to do something.
1831
01:31:41,860 --> 01:31:43,790
- This is not am MP.
1832
01:31:43,790 --> 01:31:44,623
It's a YP.
1833
01:31:46,070 --> 01:31:47,750
Your problem.
1834
01:31:47,750 --> 01:31:48,830
- Evan, what's wrong with you?
1835
01:31:48,830 --> 01:31:50,353
This is Ryan.
1836
01:31:51,610 --> 01:31:52,923
She needs our help.
1837
01:32:17,321 --> 01:32:19,571
(jiggling)
1838
01:32:25,290 --> 01:32:27,247
Oh, I gotta get this off.
1839
01:32:33,788 --> 01:32:34,871
Get this off.
1840
01:32:36,279 --> 01:32:40,621
Oh, my baby.
1841
01:32:40,621 --> 01:32:41,454
Thank you.
1842
01:32:46,725 --> 01:32:47,709
- Bridget.
1843
01:32:47,709 --> 01:32:48,542
- What?
1844
01:32:52,580 --> 01:32:53,770
Ryan?
1845
01:32:53,770 --> 01:32:55,100
- Stay away!
1846
01:32:55,100 --> 01:32:56,800
If you come any closer, I'll jump.
1847
01:32:56,800 --> 01:32:58,840
- Oh, for the love of.
1848
01:32:58,840 --> 01:33:00,770
- Ryan, sweetheart,
1849
01:33:00,770 --> 01:33:02,210
we've all been there.
1850
01:33:02,210 --> 01:33:04,280
Remember that time I
crashed my dad's Delorean
1851
01:33:04,280 --> 01:33:06,450
and decided to drink myself to death?
1852
01:33:06,450 --> 01:33:09,000
You stayed up all night
with me feeding me edamame.
1853
01:33:10,630 --> 01:33:12,123
- We're gonna call the police
if you don't stop this.
1854
01:33:12,123 --> 01:33:14,030
- I'll throw myself over the railing
1855
01:33:14,030 --> 01:33:15,360
before you even get to the phone.
1856
01:33:15,360 --> 01:33:17,403
- Maybe threatening her
wasn't the best idea.
1857
01:33:18,306 --> 01:33:20,247
(doorknob jiggling)
1858
01:33:20,247 --> 01:33:21,792
- What the fuck is it now?
1859
01:33:21,792 --> 01:33:23,209
Oh, Jesus Christ.
1860
01:33:28,290 --> 01:33:30,630
- You invite Dov to
Ryan's nervous breakdown?
1861
01:33:30,630 --> 01:33:31,463
- [Bridget] I called everyone.
1862
01:33:31,463 --> 01:33:32,783
- It's a real party.
1863
01:33:37,970 --> 01:33:39,580
- How is she?
1864
01:33:39,580 --> 01:33:42,140
- Ryan, you're scaring us.
1865
01:33:42,140 --> 01:33:43,740
- Leave me alone.
1866
01:33:43,740 --> 01:33:45,840
- Honey, look,
1867
01:33:45,840 --> 01:33:48,520
at that distance, with your
weight at that velocity,
1868
01:33:48,520 --> 01:33:51,730
you'd be more likely to
break your legs than die.
1869
01:33:51,730 --> 01:33:52,770
- [Evan] Keep talking to her like that
1870
01:33:52,770 --> 01:33:54,940
and she'll definitely
decide to kill herself.
1871
01:33:54,940 --> 01:33:56,164
- Honey, why don't you let us just,
1872
01:33:56,164 --> 01:33:59,137
you look so tired, we'll come
up there and talk to you.
1873
01:34:00,596 --> 01:34:01,880
- I heard you wrote a book.
1874
01:34:01,880 --> 01:34:02,713
- Yeah.
1875
01:34:03,980 --> 01:34:04,813
Wanna read it?
1876
01:34:14,159 --> 01:34:15,710
Evan, don't mess around!
1877
01:34:15,710 --> 01:34:17,120
- Evan, stop it, that's priceless.
1878
01:34:17,120 --> 01:34:18,350
I mean, invaluable.
1879
01:34:18,350 --> 01:34:20,730
- Me or the sword?
1880
01:34:20,730 --> 01:34:23,499
- Fuck, it's turning into Hamlet in here.
1881
01:34:23,499 --> 01:34:28,499
I hope they all die in the end.
1882
01:34:29,190 --> 01:34:31,180
- You stole the thing I love most.
1883
01:34:31,180 --> 01:34:32,920
- Maybe if you hadn't
treated her like a thing,
1884
01:34:32,920 --> 01:34:34,370
I wouldn't have been able to.
1885
01:34:35,320 --> 01:34:37,540
- Evan, you can do tens
of thousands of dollars
1886
01:34:37,540 --> 01:34:38,940
worth of damage to that sword.
1887
01:34:38,940 --> 01:34:40,557
- Okay, she's worried about the sword.
1888
01:34:40,557 --> 01:34:42,690
- I'm not concerned with
consequences anymore.
1889
01:34:42,690 --> 01:34:44,400
Thanks to your little pep talk.
1890
01:34:44,400 --> 01:34:45,700
- What did you say to her?
1891
01:34:47,230 --> 01:34:50,550
- Maybe I told her I
was leaving her for good
1892
01:34:50,550 --> 01:34:52,340
and then maybe I hit her?
1893
01:34:52,340 --> 01:34:53,520
- Okay, okay.
1894
01:34:53,520 --> 01:34:55,250
She's armed like a knife
and pushed to the brink
1895
01:34:55,250 --> 01:34:57,020
and I fucked her girlfriend.
1896
01:34:57,020 --> 01:34:58,843
- Any last words, Dov Dolenz?
1897
01:35:01,270 --> 01:35:02,103
- I love her.
1898
01:35:07,795 --> 01:35:08,712
I love her.
1899
01:35:10,210 --> 01:35:11,043
I love her.
1900
01:35:13,363 --> 01:35:15,176
(gasping)
1901
01:35:15,176 --> 01:35:17,135
- There is no peace in the Middle East.
1902
01:35:17,135 --> 01:35:19,420
- This could technically be
construed as a hate crime.
1903
01:35:19,420 --> 01:35:22,116
- This is an act of war!
1904
01:35:22,116 --> 01:35:24,283
(yelling)
1905
01:35:30,129 --> 01:35:32,160
(gasping)
1906
01:35:32,160 --> 01:35:33,910
- I think you may have anger issues.
1907
01:35:33,910 --> 01:35:35,800
- You don't need to worry about anything.
1908
01:35:35,800 --> 01:35:37,372
Not where you're going.
1909
01:35:37,372 --> 01:35:39,140
(yelping)
1910
01:35:39,140 --> 01:35:41,962
(screaming)
1911
01:35:41,962 --> 01:35:44,379
(whimpering)
1912
01:35:48,016 --> 01:35:50,008
Fuck!
1913
01:35:50,008 --> 01:35:51,239
Fuck!
1914
01:35:51,239 --> 01:35:54,266
(Evan gasping)
1915
01:35:54,266 --> 01:35:56,590
(screaming)
1916
01:35:56,590 --> 01:35:58,757
(gasping)
1917
01:36:03,180 --> 01:36:05,272
- Oh my God! Oh my God!
Oh my God! Oh my God!
1918
01:36:05,272 --> 01:36:06,894
Oh my God! Oh my God! Oh my God!
1919
01:36:06,894 --> 01:36:07,727
Oh my God!
1920
01:36:24,224 --> 01:36:25,510
Just...
1921
01:36:25,510 --> 01:36:26,714
Just let me have a look at it.
1922
01:36:26,714 --> 01:36:28,030
- No!
1923
01:36:28,030 --> 01:36:31,493
None of you bitches touches me!
1924
01:36:34,198 --> 01:36:35,031
- Evan?
1925
01:36:36,970 --> 01:36:38,370
Are you okay?
1926
01:36:38,370 --> 01:36:39,203
- Me?
1927
01:36:39,203 --> 01:36:40,783
I'm fit as fucking fiddle.
1928
01:36:42,120 --> 01:36:43,400
- [Bridget] You have a knife in your back.
1929
01:36:43,400 --> 01:36:44,663
- Yeah, I gathered.
1930
01:36:48,530 --> 01:36:50,060
- Dov, call an ambulance.
1931
01:36:50,060 --> 01:36:51,610
- Where's the phone?
1932
01:36:51,610 --> 01:36:52,875
- Should we pull it out?
1933
01:36:52,875 --> 01:36:53,708
- No!
1934
01:36:58,302 --> 01:37:01,219
- [Bridget] What have I done, Evan?
1935
01:37:09,320 --> 01:37:10,263
- Oh, shit.
1936
01:37:14,190 --> 01:37:16,940
(Bridget crying)
1937
01:37:19,834 --> 01:37:22,251
(whimpering)
1938
01:37:26,003 --> 01:37:28,253
(groaning)
1939
01:37:47,350 --> 01:37:48,950
That's better.
1940
01:37:48,950 --> 01:37:49,890
What's wrong?
1941
01:37:49,890 --> 01:37:52,140
Did you run out of money?
1942
01:37:52,140 --> 01:37:52,973
We can help you.
1943
01:37:54,019 --> 01:37:55,670
- It's not that.
1944
01:37:55,670 --> 01:37:56,633
It's my dad.
1945
01:37:58,110 --> 01:37:58,943
- Did he die?
1946
01:37:58,943 --> 01:37:59,776
I'm so sorry.
1947
01:37:59,776 --> 01:38:01,483
- No, that fucker's alive and well.
1948
01:38:02,540 --> 01:38:03,790
He was never really sick.
1949
01:38:04,850 --> 01:38:06,383
I made the whole thing up.
1950
01:38:07,810 --> 01:38:09,010
- Why would you do that?
1951
01:38:09,932 --> 01:38:11,773
- He cut me out of his life.
1952
01:38:12,850 --> 01:38:14,820
Not just financially.
1953
01:38:14,820 --> 01:38:15,653
Completely.
1954
01:38:18,700 --> 01:38:19,533
- What happened?
1955
01:38:20,520 --> 01:38:22,660
- His daughter is a lesbian.
1956
01:38:22,660 --> 01:38:26,313
I fuck women and that is
enough to make him hate me.
1957
01:38:27,320 --> 01:38:28,563
He disposed of me.
1958
01:38:31,210 --> 01:38:32,043
He's not dead.
1959
01:38:33,040 --> 01:38:34,240
I'm the one that's dead.
1960
01:38:35,090 --> 01:38:36,690
Dead to him.
1961
01:38:36,690 --> 01:38:38,706
- Honey, you could've told us.
1962
01:38:38,706 --> 01:38:39,906
- I was too embarrassed.
1963
01:38:42,060 --> 01:38:43,210
So I said he was dying.
1964
01:38:44,850 --> 01:38:46,143
It seemed easier.
1965
01:38:48,520 --> 01:38:51,230
I was just so ashamed
1966
01:38:53,070 --> 01:38:56,060
and now I'm angry at myself
1967
01:38:56,060 --> 01:38:58,803
for feeling ashamed.
1968
01:39:00,440 --> 01:39:01,290
It should be him.
1969
01:39:03,670 --> 01:39:05,690
He should be the one who hates himself.
1970
01:39:05,690 --> 01:39:06,523
Not me.
1971
01:39:06,523 --> 01:39:07,356
- You know,
1972
01:39:08,670 --> 01:39:10,270
when we're growing up,
1973
01:39:10,270 --> 01:39:11,410
when we're kids,
1974
01:39:11,410 --> 01:39:13,360
we know there's something
different about us.
1975
01:39:13,360 --> 01:39:16,233
- Yeah, I knew I liked
girls from the age of five.
1976
01:39:17,083 --> 01:39:18,350
I've always been ahead of the curve.
1977
01:39:18,350 --> 01:39:19,550
- When we know there's something different
1978
01:39:19,550 --> 01:39:21,330
and we can't put words to it.
1979
01:39:21,330 --> 01:39:23,453
That turns into self-loathing.
1980
01:39:25,150 --> 01:39:26,400
Then we get a little older
1981
01:39:26,400 --> 01:39:28,710
and we realize that society doesn't accept
1982
01:39:28,710 --> 01:39:30,470
the parts of us that make us different
1983
01:39:30,470 --> 01:39:34,423
and that self-loathing turns in to shame.
1984
01:39:36,110 --> 01:39:37,370
- I'm stronger than that.
1985
01:39:37,370 --> 01:39:38,530
- I know you are.
1986
01:39:38,530 --> 01:39:40,030
You're a tough cookie but
1987
01:39:40,030 --> 01:39:42,790
you can't fix what your
family and society did to you.
1988
01:39:42,790 --> 01:39:44,783
You can't un-fuck up a kid.
1989
01:39:47,070 --> 01:39:50,039
- I'm not getting five
thousand a month anymore.
1990
01:39:50,039 --> 01:39:52,170
I had some money saved up.
1991
01:39:52,170 --> 01:39:54,563
I spent it all.
1992
01:39:55,480 --> 01:39:58,103
I just wanted the hurt to go away.
1993
01:40:00,190 --> 01:40:01,093
Who does that?
1994
01:40:02,030 --> 01:40:04,270
What kind of man turns
his back on his daughter
1995
01:40:04,270 --> 01:40:05,490
just because she's gay?
1996
01:40:05,490 --> 01:40:07,370
- You don't need him.
1997
01:40:07,370 --> 01:40:10,100
Okay, you have me and those
three losers downstairs
1998
01:40:10,100 --> 01:40:12,600
who would do anything for you.
1999
01:40:12,600 --> 01:40:15,930
Ryan, the four of us would die for you.
2000
01:40:15,930 --> 01:40:18,270
Fuck your dad, he's not your dad.
2001
01:40:18,270 --> 01:40:19,440
Evan's your dad.
2002
01:40:19,440 --> 01:40:23,130
And us, we're the rest
of your fucked up family.
2003
01:40:23,130 --> 01:40:25,863
- I'm just so confused.
2004
01:40:27,330 --> 01:40:28,713
Everything hurts.
2005
01:40:30,210 --> 01:40:31,043
I'm so
2006
01:40:32,670 --> 01:40:33,503
totally
2007
01:40:34,640 --> 01:40:35,473
lost.
2008
01:40:36,350 --> 01:40:37,760
- Well,
2009
01:40:37,760 --> 01:40:38,860
with those words,
2010
01:40:38,860 --> 01:40:41,760
I officially pronounce you
2011
01:40:41,760 --> 01:40:42,803
a grownup.
2012
01:40:47,770 --> 01:40:50,190
- Did you know I always
wanted to make you coffee?
2013
01:40:50,190 --> 01:40:51,790
The way you do it with the foam.
2014
01:40:52,770 --> 01:40:54,580
I was gonna surprise you
once, you were at the museum,
2015
01:40:54,580 --> 01:40:57,080
you were gonna come home and find it.
2016
01:40:57,080 --> 01:40:58,803
I tried but I failed.
2017
01:40:59,812 --> 01:41:02,128
I threw it all out and never told you.
2018
01:41:02,128 --> 01:41:03,553
- I called an ambulance.
2019
01:41:06,458 --> 01:41:07,800
Oh, shit.
2020
01:41:07,800 --> 01:41:10,000
- I don't like doing
things I'm not good at.
2021
01:41:12,269 --> 01:41:13,620
- Evan,
2022
01:41:13,620 --> 01:41:16,983
this is for the pain.
2023
01:41:21,949 --> 01:41:23,099
Okay.
2024
01:41:23,099 --> 01:41:26,510
- Fuck, this jacket is vintage.
2025
01:41:26,510 --> 01:41:28,410
- [Trista] What the fuck happened here?
2026
01:41:28,410 --> 01:41:30,250
- [Evan] Bridget stabbed me in the back.
2027
01:41:30,250 --> 01:41:31,590
- I know, sweetie.
2028
01:41:31,590 --> 01:41:33,763
- No, this time,
2029
01:41:34,870 --> 01:41:36,380
I really did stab her.
2030
01:41:36,380 --> 01:41:38,360
(laughing)
2031
01:41:38,360 --> 01:41:39,193
- Jesus.
2032
01:41:39,193 --> 01:41:40,710
- Dov called an ambulance.
2033
01:41:40,710 --> 01:41:42,140
It should be here soon.
2034
01:41:43,630 --> 01:41:45,640
- So, Ryan tries to commit suicide
2035
01:41:45,640 --> 01:41:47,280
and you three bitches find a way
2036
01:41:47,280 --> 01:41:48,923
to make it all about yourselves.
2037
01:41:50,038 --> 01:41:52,567
- Is that one of
Bridget's ancient daggers?
2038
01:41:52,567 --> 01:41:53,840
- I believe so.
2039
01:41:53,840 --> 01:41:56,050
- If that thing is 500 years old,
2040
01:41:56,050 --> 01:41:59,290
you're gonna have one
hell of an infection.
2041
01:41:59,290 --> 01:42:01,053
- Do not forget your dying king.
2042
01:42:02,030 --> 01:42:03,160
- Is she gonna die?
2043
01:42:03,160 --> 01:42:05,760
- No, baby, but I'm about
to pass out from the pain.
2044
01:42:06,830 --> 01:42:08,283
- Goodnight, sweet prince.
2045
01:42:09,756 --> 01:42:12,863
May flights of angels
sing thee to thy rest.
2046
01:42:13,840 --> 01:42:16,768
- So what have I learned
after all this time?
2047
01:42:16,768 --> 01:42:19,520
After all the fucking and partying.
2048
01:42:19,520 --> 01:42:22,272
Lying to friends, lovers, myself.
2049
01:42:22,272 --> 01:42:25,669
Playing this sick game in this sick world,
2050
01:42:25,669 --> 01:42:29,413
filled with liars and cheaters
and depraved miscreants.
2051
01:42:31,670 --> 01:42:33,720
I'll tell you what I've learned.
2052
01:42:33,720 --> 01:42:36,390
One thing, and one thing only...
2053
01:42:37,790 --> 01:42:40,973
I fucking love being gay!
2054
01:42:43,840 --> 01:42:46,670
- Hey, Evan, are you still there?
2055
01:42:46,670 --> 01:42:48,150
- Yeah.
2056
01:42:48,150 --> 01:42:50,228
- I thought you were about
to pass out right then.
2057
01:42:50,228 --> 01:42:52,425
- Yeah, that would've been
the perfect place to do it.
2058
01:42:52,425 --> 01:42:55,283
- Yeah, yeah, right at
the end of that speech.
2059
01:42:56,141 --> 01:42:57,760
(groaning)
2060
01:42:57,760 --> 01:42:59,203
- [Trista] Now she's passed out.
2061
01:43:00,220 --> 01:43:01,663
- It's true what they say.
2062
01:43:02,560 --> 01:43:05,053
Timing really is everything.
2063
01:43:06,150 --> 01:43:07,683
- Oh, the ambulance is here.
2064
01:43:08,960 --> 01:43:10,720
- Yay.
2065
01:43:10,720 --> 01:43:11,623
Evan won't die.
2066
01:43:13,420 --> 01:43:15,980
Can I ride with her to the hospital?
2067
01:43:15,980 --> 01:43:18,313
I should probably get my stomach pumped.
2068
01:43:19,580 --> 01:43:20,521
Can I take out the knife now?
2069
01:43:20,521 --> 01:43:21,438
- [All] No!
2070
01:43:28,970 --> 01:43:30,130
- [Bridget] Where's your coffee machine?
2071
01:43:30,130 --> 01:43:32,863
Does anyone want some coffee?
2072
01:43:47,466 --> 01:43:48,860
- Bye, losers.
2073
01:43:48,860 --> 01:43:50,063
Good to see you.
2074
01:43:54,406 --> 01:43:57,770
(faint beat music)
2075
01:43:57,770 --> 01:43:59,540
- How's the shoulder?
2076
01:43:59,540 --> 01:44:00,500
Still sore?
2077
01:44:00,500 --> 01:44:01,970
- Nothing that copious amounts of alcohol
2078
01:44:01,970 --> 01:44:03,120
and Vicodin can't cure.
2079
01:44:05,210 --> 01:44:06,043
- Same old Evan.
2080
01:44:07,458 --> 01:44:08,953
- I quit my father's campaign.
2081
01:44:11,360 --> 01:44:12,860
- When were you gonna tell me?
2082
01:44:13,730 --> 01:44:16,580
- When I finally mustered
the ability to say
2083
01:44:18,740 --> 01:44:19,633
you were right.
2084
01:44:22,720 --> 01:44:23,553
You remember when I told you
2085
01:44:23,553 --> 01:44:26,607
about not liking not being good at things
2086
01:44:26,607 --> 01:44:28,257
like making coffee and saying I'm sorry?
2087
01:44:31,383 --> 01:44:35,466
But as for the coffee, I
came up with a solution.
2088
01:44:36,990 --> 01:44:38,612
Instant coffee.
2089
01:44:38,612 --> 01:44:41,695
(muffled beat music)
2090
01:44:51,934 --> 01:44:52,767
Bridget,
2091
01:44:56,621 --> 01:44:57,454
I'm sorry.
2092
01:45:13,211 --> 01:45:14,044
- Evan,
2093
01:45:18,013 --> 01:45:19,346
this is oatmeal.
2094
01:45:21,333 --> 01:45:22,166
- What?
2095
01:45:23,287 --> 01:45:24,986
(giggling)
2096
01:45:24,986 --> 01:45:26,833
- You made me oatmeal.
2097
01:45:27,826 --> 01:45:29,729
This is instant oatmeal.
2098
01:45:29,729 --> 01:45:31,979
(laughing)
2099
01:45:48,061 --> 01:45:50,478
- I'll never stop loving you.
2100
01:45:52,978 --> 01:45:53,811
- Ditto.
2101
01:45:58,840 --> 01:46:02,523
- Things are looking up for me.
2102
01:46:03,960 --> 01:46:06,860
I got promoted from writing
engagement announcements
2103
01:46:07,741 --> 01:46:08,841
to writing obituaries.
2104
01:46:09,870 --> 01:46:11,710
- That's super.
2105
01:46:11,710 --> 01:46:13,470
That's like the best news ever.
2106
01:46:13,470 --> 01:46:14,303
So great.
2107
01:46:16,440 --> 01:46:19,690
So, tell me more about
the newspaper, please.
2108
01:46:19,690 --> 01:46:20,742
Where's Trista?
2109
01:46:20,742 --> 01:46:23,340
- [Bridget] Dov, come over here.
2110
01:46:23,340 --> 01:46:25,750
- Oh my God, this conversation has to end.
2111
01:46:25,750 --> 01:46:27,856
So much suck.
2112
01:46:27,856 --> 01:46:30,939
(muffled beat music)
2113
01:46:34,490 --> 01:46:36,270
- So, I couldn't help but notice
2114
01:46:36,270 --> 01:46:39,423
you to have been avoiding
each other all night.
2115
01:46:41,180 --> 01:46:42,377
My parents pulled the same act for years.
2116
01:46:42,377 --> 01:46:45,910
- You're taking a position
at a museum in Romania.
2117
01:46:45,910 --> 01:46:47,408
Seems like you're the
one going to extremes
2118
01:46:47,408 --> 01:46:48,908
to avoid conflict.
2119
01:46:51,355 --> 01:46:52,188
- True.
2120
01:46:54,090 --> 01:46:56,183
But I am confused.
2121
01:46:57,500 --> 01:46:58,583
I love you both.
2122
01:47:02,981 --> 01:47:04,331
But I need time for myself.
2123
01:47:06,440 --> 01:47:07,273
Cliche?
2124
01:47:08,894 --> 01:47:09,727
- A little.
2125
01:47:14,790 --> 01:47:16,314
- So,
2126
01:47:16,314 --> 01:47:17,147
friends?
2127
01:47:18,588 --> 01:47:19,421
- Eh.
2128
01:47:20,414 --> 01:47:21,397
- [Dov] Okay.
2129
01:47:21,397 --> 01:47:22,230
- Fine.
2130
01:47:22,230 --> 01:47:23,813
- [Trista] Bridget?
2131
01:47:29,292 --> 01:47:30,375
- Crazy fuck!
2132
01:47:31,403 --> 01:47:33,315
- Republican bitch!
2133
01:47:33,315 --> 01:47:35,413
Jesus Christ.
2134
01:47:41,720 --> 01:47:43,160
- Well, fags, I'd stay
2135
01:47:43,160 --> 01:47:46,099
but I'm afraid you'd
as me to help clean up.
2136
01:47:46,099 --> 01:47:47,040
I'll miss you, kid.
2137
01:47:47,040 --> 01:47:48,410
- No you won't.
2138
01:47:48,410 --> 01:47:51,053
- I'll miss the excessive
drama you bring to my life.
2139
01:47:53,830 --> 01:47:55,800
Next week, Hanukkah party, my place.
2140
01:47:55,800 --> 01:47:58,110
I'm gonna bust out the Bong Mitzvah.
2141
01:47:58,110 --> 01:47:59,007
Goodnight, homos.
2142
01:48:02,080 --> 01:48:04,350
- I should probably be going too.
2143
01:48:04,350 --> 01:48:06,810
Early flight, long flight.
2144
01:48:06,810 --> 01:48:07,720
You coming, Ry?
2145
01:48:07,720 --> 01:48:09,110
- I wish I was coming?
2146
01:48:09,110 --> 01:48:10,350
Get it?
2147
01:48:10,350 --> 01:48:11,630
No?
2148
01:48:11,630 --> 01:48:13,260
No, I'm gonna stay up.
2149
01:48:13,260 --> 01:48:14,310
- I'll take her back.
2150
01:48:15,280 --> 01:48:16,113
- Okay, well,
2151
01:48:16,113 --> 01:48:19,683
I am going to go Benadryl myself to sleep.
2152
01:48:21,000 --> 01:48:21,860
See you in the morning.
2153
01:48:21,860 --> 01:48:22,910
- Bye, babe.
- Yeah.
2154
01:48:24,000 --> 01:48:27,310
- I'll walk you out.
- I'll walk you out.
2155
01:48:27,310 --> 01:48:28,660
- You did try to behead me.
2156
01:48:33,430 --> 01:48:35,720
- I'll see you in half a year.
2157
01:48:35,720 --> 01:48:37,903
- Just try to stay out of trouble.
2158
01:48:38,759 --> 01:48:43,759
- What's the fun in that?
2159
01:49:12,924 --> 01:49:15,300
- I know you have something to say.
2160
01:49:15,300 --> 01:49:16,313
- Cheeky monkey.
2161
01:49:21,123 --> 01:49:23,790
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!
2162
01:49:31,740 --> 01:49:34,380
- So not to sound arrogant
or anything, you know,
2163
01:49:34,380 --> 01:49:37,393
but I am gonna be gone for six months.
2164
01:49:38,830 --> 01:49:39,913
What I'm saying is,
2165
01:49:41,080 --> 01:49:42,413
if you meet someone.
2166
01:49:44,260 --> 01:49:45,447
- No, I get it.
2167
01:49:48,150 --> 01:49:49,343
- I packed your poem.
2168
01:49:50,340 --> 01:49:51,290
It's in my carryon.
2169
01:49:54,887 --> 01:49:56,857
"Ice-kissed frost fire."
2170
01:50:00,280 --> 01:50:01,670
I wish I could be like you
2171
01:50:03,152 --> 01:50:04,953
and have the right words.
2172
01:50:09,525 --> 01:50:12,620
- I wish I had the right words right now.
2173
01:50:51,795 --> 01:50:54,628
(engine rumbling)
2174
01:51:02,116 --> 01:51:04,366
(groaning)
2175
01:51:05,886 --> 01:51:07,197
(sighing)
2176
01:51:07,197 --> 01:51:09,270
- So I have this friend
2177
01:51:09,270 --> 01:51:12,030
and she really liked her
best friend's girlfriend
2178
01:51:12,870 --> 01:51:14,760
and she thought she'd be a much better fit
2179
01:51:14,760 --> 01:51:17,530
for her friend's girlfriends
2180
01:51:17,530 --> 01:51:19,170
than her friend
2181
01:51:20,020 --> 01:51:22,870
and so she set into motion
2182
01:51:22,870 --> 01:51:27,320
a series of events that would
lead to them breaking up
2183
01:51:28,695 --> 01:51:32,020
and it took a really long time
2184
01:51:32,020 --> 01:51:36,730
and a lot of really manipulative behavior
2185
01:51:36,730 --> 01:51:39,313
but eventually this girl's plan worked.
2186
01:51:40,430 --> 01:51:41,610
- What happened?
2187
01:51:41,610 --> 01:51:42,526
- What do you mean?
2188
01:51:42,526 --> 01:51:43,610
- What happened?
2189
01:51:43,610 --> 01:51:44,750
- What do you mean?
2190
01:51:44,750 --> 01:51:47,770
- Did your friend end up with
her best friend's girlfriend?
2191
01:51:47,770 --> 01:51:49,060
- I don't know.
2192
01:51:49,060 --> 01:51:50,833
That remains to be seen.
2193
01:51:52,790 --> 01:51:53,623
So,
2194
01:51:55,550 --> 01:51:57,810
what do you think of all that?
2195
01:51:57,810 --> 01:52:00,473
Do you think my friend is a bad person?
2196
01:52:23,430 --> 01:52:24,263
What?
2197
01:52:25,790 --> 01:52:27,141
- Survival of the fittest, right?
2198
01:52:27,141 --> 01:52:29,010
(laughing)
2199
01:52:29,010 --> 01:52:30,670
- Yeah.
2200
01:52:30,670 --> 01:52:31,503
Totally.
2201
01:53:19,745 --> 01:53:21,912
(sighing)
2202
01:53:26,440 --> 01:53:28,620
- Is there someplace you'd rather be?
2203
01:53:28,620 --> 01:53:29,670
- Than here with you?
2204
01:53:31,090 --> 01:53:31,923
Never.
2205
01:53:47,959 --> 01:53:49,626
- Why'd you do that?
2206
01:53:50,666 --> 01:53:53,897
- Because I knew you wouldn't.
2207
01:53:53,897 --> 01:53:56,093
- I imagine you want to
get back at your father.
2208
01:53:58,030 --> 01:54:00,203
I would excel in that capacity.
2209
01:54:19,363 --> 01:54:22,696
(upbeat New Wave music)
2210
01:54:25,429 --> 01:54:27,679
(knocking)
2211
01:54:44,751 --> 01:54:46,250
- Do you love me?
2212
01:54:46,250 --> 01:54:49,515
I know you'll say yes and I'll
take you at your word but I--
2213
01:54:49,515 --> 01:54:51,423
- With every beat of my wasted heart.
2214
01:54:52,823 --> 01:54:55,714
- I see it now, it's true.
2215
01:54:55,714 --> 01:54:56,547
- Yes.
2216
01:54:58,536 --> 01:55:02,840
♪ Our bodies intertwined ♪
2217
01:55:02,840 --> 01:55:05,535
♪ You're doing that thing you do ♪
2218
01:55:05,535 --> 01:55:09,379
♪ Something's on your mind ♪
2219
01:55:09,379 --> 01:55:12,585
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2220
01:55:12,585 --> 01:55:16,020
♪ A future that's unknown ♪
2221
01:55:16,020 --> 01:55:19,532
♪ But I traveled through
both space and time ♪
2222
01:55:19,532 --> 01:55:24,532
♪ To make sure you will never be alone ♪
2223
01:55:26,901 --> 01:55:31,901
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2224
01:55:34,078 --> 01:55:39,078
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2225
01:55:41,117 --> 01:55:46,117
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2226
01:55:48,056 --> 01:55:53,037
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2227
01:55:53,037 --> 01:55:55,346
♪ We head into the night ♪
2228
01:55:55,346 --> 01:55:59,497
♪ And fade into the streets ♪
2229
01:55:59,497 --> 01:56:02,395
♪ As rain on the city falls ♪
2230
01:56:02,395 --> 01:56:06,228
♪ The taste is bitter sweet ♪
2231
01:56:06,228 --> 01:56:09,473
♪ Restlessness and worries for ♪
2232
01:56:09,473 --> 01:56:12,930
♪ A future far away ♪
2233
01:56:12,930 --> 01:56:16,567
♪ I'm traveling to the unknown ♪
2234
01:56:16,567 --> 01:56:21,567
♪ To make sure you will see another day ♪
2235
01:56:23,691 --> 01:56:28,691
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2236
01:56:30,905 --> 01:56:35,905
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2237
01:56:37,984 --> 01:56:42,984
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2238
01:56:45,274 --> 01:56:49,968
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2239
01:56:49,968 --> 01:56:52,903
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2240
01:56:52,903 --> 01:56:57,159
♪ Through complication ♪
2241
01:56:57,159 --> 01:56:59,997
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2242
01:56:59,997 --> 01:57:04,283
♪ Through the unknown ♪
2243
01:57:04,283 --> 01:57:07,091
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2244
01:57:07,091 --> 01:57:10,637
♪ Determination ♪
2245
01:57:10,637 --> 01:57:14,018
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2246
01:57:14,018 --> 01:57:19,018
♪ I'll make sure you'll never be alone ♪
2247
01:57:20,750 --> 01:57:25,750
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2248
01:57:27,844 --> 01:57:32,844
♪ I would brave new frontiers for you ♪
2249
01:57:35,058 --> 01:57:40,058
♪ I would trade a thousand years for you ♪
2250
01:57:42,106 --> 01:57:46,664
♪ A thousand years, a thousand years ♪
2251
01:57:46,664 --> 01:57:49,200
(giggling)
2252
01:57:49,200 --> 01:57:54,196
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2253
01:57:54,196 --> 01:57:56,415
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2254
01:57:56,415 --> 01:58:01,184
♪ I would brave a thousand years ♪
2255
01:58:01,184 --> 01:58:03,403
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2256
01:58:03,403 --> 01:58:07,561
♪ I would wait a thousand years ♪
2257
01:58:07,561 --> 01:58:10,564
♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa ♪
2258
01:58:10,564 --> 01:58:15,564
♪ I would wait a thousand years for you ♪
2259
01:58:50,761 --> 01:58:54,094
(somber New Wave music)
2260
01:59:10,659 --> 01:59:13,326
- I'm laughing already, I can't.
2261
01:59:14,567 --> 01:59:16,380
(laughing)
2262
01:59:16,380 --> 01:59:17,989
Turn around, Mike!
2263
01:59:17,989 --> 01:59:19,905
(laughing)
2264
01:59:19,905 --> 01:59:21,788
- I think but I can see.
2265
01:59:21,788 --> 01:59:25,120
- [Woman] It looks like you're just crazy.
2266
01:59:25,120 --> 01:59:26,690
- Sweet prince
2267
01:59:26,690 --> 01:59:28,050
and flights of angels.
2268
01:59:28,050 --> 01:59:30,300
(laughing)
2269
01:59:31,340 --> 01:59:32,943
- [Woman] Welcome to Girl-Girl Scene.
2270
01:59:34,390 --> 01:59:36,518
- I just want to make
sure I'm holding it right.
2271
01:59:36,518 --> 01:59:38,768
(laughing)
2272
01:59:40,645 --> 01:59:42,895
(coughing)
2273
01:59:43,760 --> 01:59:45,850
- You're up late.
- Thanks.
2274
01:59:45,850 --> 01:59:47,900
- [Trista] My mom's freaking
out about the body slam.
2275
01:59:47,900 --> 01:59:49,250
I know we're being careful.
2276
01:59:51,909 --> 01:59:55,549
♪ There's one thing ♪
2277
01:59:55,549 --> 01:59:59,904
♪ That makes me come alive
when you're by my side ♪
2278
01:59:59,904 --> 02:00:00,737
- Fuck!
2279
02:00:03,224 --> 02:00:08,224
♪ Together with me ♪
2280
02:00:09,431 --> 02:00:11,130
♪ We don't sleep ♪
2281
02:00:11,130 --> 02:00:13,020
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2282
02:00:13,020 --> 02:00:14,438
♪ Shut out all the worries ♪
2283
02:00:14,438 --> 02:00:16,672
♪ Keep away for awhile ♪
2284
02:00:16,672 --> 02:00:19,383
♪ The look you have ♪
2285
02:00:19,383 --> 02:00:21,806
- As long as you literally
don't see my ass.
2286
02:00:21,806 --> 02:00:22,753
My ass is out.
2287
02:00:26,468 --> 02:00:28,332
♪ Make me feel like I'm whole ♪
2288
02:00:28,332 --> 02:00:32,100
♪ Take me back again to
see the look at that crow ♪
2289
02:00:32,100 --> 02:00:34,166
♪ The power of love ♪
2290
02:00:34,166 --> 02:00:35,612
♪ Is the back on the screen ♪
2291
02:00:35,612 --> 02:00:37,847
♪ I will have ♪
2292
02:00:37,847 --> 02:00:41,680
♪ 85 again ♪
2293
02:00:45,548 --> 02:00:46,381
(man laughing)
2294
02:00:46,381 --> 02:00:47,214
- [Evan] What? Let me see.
2295
02:00:47,214 --> 02:00:48,761
- [Man] I was just filming Jerry.
2296
02:00:48,761 --> 02:00:51,011
(mumbling)
2297
02:00:52,605 --> 02:00:54,873
- We got the tools and we got the knowhow.
2298
02:00:55,810 --> 02:00:57,860
- [Man] Okay, what was the next scene?
2299
02:00:57,860 --> 02:00:59,070
- [Bridget] Bedroom.
2300
02:00:59,070 --> 02:00:59,903
Me waking up.
2301
02:00:59,903 --> 02:01:00,817
(laughing)
2302
02:01:00,817 --> 02:01:02,270
- [Ryan] I got it too late.
2303
02:01:02,270 --> 02:01:04,712
Like I couldn't debut it
earlier in a different scene
2304
02:01:04,712 --> 02:01:06,567
but now it's in the movie.
2305
02:01:08,607 --> 02:01:10,857
(laughing)
2306
02:01:12,758 --> 02:01:15,925
(exciting beat music)
2307
02:01:41,643 --> 02:01:43,175
♪ Play the movie ♪
2308
02:01:43,175 --> 02:01:45,104
♪ I want you to smile ♪
2309
02:01:45,104 --> 02:01:48,871
♪ Shut out all the worries,
keep away for awhile. ♪
2310
02:01:48,871 --> 02:01:50,698
♪ The look you had ♪
2311
02:01:50,698 --> 02:01:51,948
- [Man] Action.
2312
02:01:58,220 --> 02:01:59,313
- You're still here?
2313
02:02:01,410 --> 02:02:02,793
It's over.
2314
02:02:04,800 --> 02:02:05,633
Go home?
2315
02:02:12,150 --> 02:02:12,983
Shoo.
147766
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