Original subtitles

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

[Moaning]

Eh...

What's up, Dex?

Dee Dee?

That's right, Dexter.

And no matter where you go,

no matter where you sleep,

no matter what you eat, I will be there,

like a stealth ninja polar bear,

waiting to pounce on its next unsuspecting victim,

for I am...

Dee Dee, snowball warrior!

[Laughing]

Oh, another winter of discontent.

First base.

You said it, brother.

Second base.

Third base.

Home...

I'm safe!

You're out!

[Ringing]

Ah, what a fine--

Dee Dee: Ha ha! Got ya!

Dad!

Yes?

I'd like to talk to you

about the aggressive behavioral patterns of your daughter.

I know I shouldn't fight back,

being that she is my sister, a girl, and the neighborhood champ,

but could you please tell Dee Dee

to stop pummeling me with snowballs?

Did you say...

Snowballs?

Uh, yeah.

They called me champ,

back when I had...

The gift.

I was a natural from day one.

[Crying]

As I grew, so did my skills.

Ow!

In high school, I was untouchable.

Hey, grow up, man!

They were just jealous,

jealous of my powers,

for I was a king,

a force of nature!

I was the ultimate snowball warrior!

Then I went to college.

I was never the same again!

No!

That was the coldest winter...

Ever.

But that's where you come in.

You can help me reclaim my title!

Wh-wh-why not just l-let Dee Dee do it?

No! Her powers are evil.

Only as father and son

can we truly carry on the legacy.

Let the training begin!

No.

No!

No! Dexter, 5 words:

Scoop, roll, throw, hit, duck.

Good job, son.

You're ready.

Boy, I hope I don't get hit with a snowball

while stupidly standing here all alone in the yard.

Sure is quiet, though...

Without...

Dee Dee!

Um...uh...uh...

Duck!

Scoop! Roll! Throw!

Hit!

No-o-o!

Atta boy, Dexter!

Hey, good job, Dexter. You finally hit me.

Thanks.

What's this?

Dexter, what do you think you're doing? Finish her!

Oh, no.

Dexter, you must reclaim my throne by defeating the enemy!

The enemy?

Your sister!

Don't you see, Dexter?

You inherit your snowball fighting genes from me,

whereas your sister received hers from...

From...

The only one ever to defeat me!

Both: You mean...

Yes!

Dexter and Dee Dee: Mom!

Put the snowball down, dear.

I don't wanna.

Wow, mom! If you beat dad,

you must be the bestest snowball warrior ever!

Oh, no! We were just kids in college...

One day I tossed a snowball at him.

Aah!

He took it really hard.

Oh, the pain.

Relax, dear.

Gosh, dad. You went crazy for all these years

just because mom threw a snowball at you?

Sounds kind of silly, doesn't it?

It does? Itdo

I'm sorry, honey.

[Laughing]

[Laughing]

Yeah, that's just as silly

as Dexter having a secret laboratory in his bedroom!

What? What?

Nothing, nothing.

Look, up in the sky! It's an eagle!

It's a rocket!

No. It's my new major glory action figure

with parachute action!

Cool!

Check out my major glory.

It's got a super-command voice module!

Brush your teeth.

Clean your plate.

Look at my muscles.

Yo, check mine out.

It has a special fighting fists of fury feature.

All: Awesome!

Three cheers for the major glory gang!

Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip, hooray!

Hip, hip--

Dexter: Hooray!

My 3 best pals in the whole world!

Oh, great.

It's dorkster.

What do you want?

What do I want? Why, to pal around

with my 3 best chums in the major glory gang.

You got to have a major glory action figure

to be in the gang.

Oh, but I do. Feast your optic orbs

on this!

[Laughing]

You call that an action figure?

That's just a lousy cardboard cutout.

Yes, I cut it out myself from my cereal box

while eating my morning bowl of glory-os.

Look! It even has super- saluting action.

You insult the glory of the glory gang!

You want to be one of us, get yourself a real action figure!

Mother?

Yes, Dexter?

I would like to formally request

that you purchase a new major glory action figure for me.

Of course, dear.

For your birthday.

But that's too far away!

Well, sweetheart, if you can't wait for your birthday,

you'll just have to share with your friends.

I'll bet you can't even fly.

Ooh! Major glory, you don't look so good.

You look a little thin.

Hi, Dexter!

Gee, Dexter, why the long face?

I have no friends, and I am totally unpopular.

Duh!

I need a new major glory action figure,

or my pals won't talk to me.

Dexter, i'm surprised at you.

Why?

Because you're too dumb to make your own doll.

I made one.

Her name is pretty Polly.

[Kiss]

Pretty Polly! Pretty Polly!

Make my own doll?

I am just a little boy!

Doll-making requires specialized tools and equipment,

high-tech machinery.

In order for me to make a doll, I would need...

A laboratory!

[Laughing maniacally]

Yes!

Yes!

Yes!

Look at my creation!

It--it is beautiful.

[Yelling]

All: Whoa!

Greetings, chums of mine!

How do you like my new action figure?

Uh...it's...uh...

It has several very astounding features

which you may find interesting.

Observe.

It has super space flight action.

Look! A piece of moon rock!

All: Whoa!

It also comes equipped with super star-spangled laser vision.

All: Whoa!

And he has super kung fu grip.

Action figure: Hi-Yah!

Cool figure, Dexter!

Thanks. I made it myself.

Just one problem.

You wouldn't mind making one of those figures

for all of us, would you?

Uh, well...

I mean, after all, we all got to be equal members, right?

I guess so.

Good! See you back here tomorrow...

If you're our true pal.

Oh, I am. I am. Don't worry!

Let's go make some friends!

Dexter: Here are your remotes!

Give them a try.

Yours has super arctic wind breath.

Kid: Cool!

Yours has super impenetrable snap-on freedom armor.

Second kid: Radical!

And yours has an all-American cloaking device.

Third kid: Outta sight!

Is that glory gang material, or what?

Kids: Mine's the coolest!

[Kids fighting]

We can't decide whose is better.

You got to give us all the same stuff.

If you're our pal, that is.

Uh, of course.

Of course I am.

Dexter: Computer, verify action figure status.

Computer: All figures possess equal amounts of all super-features.

A possibility of overload exists.

Repeat, a possibility of overload exists.

Here they are. They do everything.

Now can I be in the club?

Kids: Yeah, man. You sure can.

Watch mine!

No, watch mine!

Wait, watch mine!

Kids: Cool!

Computer: Overload. Overload. Overload.

Hey, these things are defective.

You call yourself a club member?

Let's lynch him.

Major glory: Stand fast, citizens!

Dexter: Hey, it's the real major glory.

I am saved!

Which one of you is Dexter?

That would be me.

And may I say I am your biggest fan.

Well, you have good taste, son.

Now, let's go.

Well, Dexter, what have you learned from all this?

I have learned that it was wrong

to try and buy my pals' friendship

with impressive action figures.

Whoa, we're talking about something

far more important than friendship.

We're talking about copyright infringement.

Now, Dexter, prepare to meet

someone far more powerful than I!

Who's that?

My attorney.

Whatcha doing?

Reading up on animal biology.

I bet I know more about animals than you.

Oh, you think?

Yup.

Ok, why are storks' legs so long?

So their feet can reach the ground.

Why do kangaroos only live in Australia?

So they can be near their families.

Did you know deers don't have uncles?

They just have antlers!

Cha cha cha!

[Reading to himself]

[Thinking] What a fantastic challenge.

I bet I could win a race like that.

I bet I could build a car that was faster than all the other cars,

and then I'd win.

But what about dad? He's never let me enter such a race,

and he'd fear for my safety.

And I don't blame him, but I have to enter that race no matter what!

Dad, I'm going to enter the soapbox derby.

No! No son of mine is going to race,

and for me to explain my reasons why would be a long story,

but I'll tell you anyway.

It was 2 years ago, during that very same race down volcano mountain.

Your older sister Dee Dee was one of the drivers in that race.

But what she didn't know was that the race was filled with dangers and tricks at every turn.

Any experienced driver knows how to keep an eye out for these tricks,

because if you don't pay attention, they can trick you and mess you up.

But your sister was overconfident about her driving abilities,

which sent her down a one-way road to disaster.

She was never to be heard from again.

Dad, I'm right here! Hello! Earth to dad.

Dexter, did you hear that?

Yup, sure did, dad.

It's ok for me to race as long as I don't hit any turtles. Gotcha.

No, it's not ok. I don't want you to race or even think about racing.

I'd erase any thoughts of racing

you have racing about your head right now! Hmm.

But, dad!

Oh, ok, you can race, but only on one condition.

You do it for the memory of your long-lost sister Dee Dee, ok?

Ok.

Hello! I'm right here!

There it was again. Hmm...

The first thing any successful racer needs is a car.

All the top racers drive cars, and that's what makes them go.

But cars don't grow on trees,

except for this one, because it's made of wood.

Behold the Mark-5.

Ah!

The Mark-5 is a marvel of engineering.

It's equipped with the most modern driving equipment:

Wheels.

Gosh, dad. You sure have outdone yourself,

but do you think we could slap on

some all-wheel-drive traction, supercharged- piston cam, high-octane- output torquefiers?

What? What's this? I can't believe what I'm hearing.

Outfit the Mark-5 with useless gadgets? Whatever for?

So the car would be safe and I don't crash up.

Huh! You're a very bright boy, Dexter.

Only you would know that crashing is the part I hate most about racing.

To me, crashing is bad.

So, ok. You can have your gadgets.

Narrator: And so Dexter and dad worked late into the night,

souping up the Mark-5.

[Thinking] Dad is tired.

He has been working very hard helping me modify the Mark-5,

but now it is time for him to rest.

Come on, dad. It's time for bed.

[Grumbling]

Narrator: Secretly unknown to Dexter,

a mysterious stranger is mysteriously watching.

Mandark: Excellent! Ha ha! Excellent!

Now I, mandark, know how Dexter plans to win the soapbox derby.

He plans to use this magnificent car. But how does it work?

Oh, maybe these top-secret plans will help.

They do! These top-secret plans tell me the secrets

on how the Mark-5 works. Excellent! Ha ha!

Excellent! Ha! Ha ha!

Hello!

What? Who are you?

I'm Dee Dee, Dexter's older sister who, two years ago,

crashed up in the volcano mountain race

and was never heard from again.

Except I was heard from again,

it's just that my dad likes to exaggerate,

and he got mad because I broke his car,

and he wouldn't let me race again.

Except I had to race again-- it was in my blood--

so sometimes I stow away in my brother's trunk so I can be close to the action,

and sometimes I secretly race under the disguise of "racer d,"

but I shouldn't have told you that.

I've got a monkey!

So? I don't care about monkeys.

Hey, don't you be mean, mister... Mister...

Say, who are you? I don't even know who you are!

My name is mandark, and I am Dexter's rival.

He and I have been competing in science and other things for years,

and this race is just one more of those competitions

where we try to beat each other.

Except I try and win by being sneaky and bad.

My plan this time is to sabotage the Mark-5

so it doesn't work as good as it should.

Then, when Dexter is racing, he's likely to crash up,

leaving the room for me to win.

Well, that's not very nice.

No, but giving candy to little girls and monkeys

so they can keep a secretis.

Ah!

Now, if you'll excuse me while I sabotage your brother's car...

Yum yum yum! What car? Yum yum yum!

Excellent. Ha ha!

Excellent. Ha! Ha ha!

[Laughing maniacally]

Announcer: Good morning, race fans,

and welcome to the annual soapbox derby down volcano mountain,

where some of the most skilled and talented kid racers of the day

are taking part in this high-speed challenge against mother nature.

It appears that the drivers are setting their ties for the start of the race.

Mandark: Hey, Dexter.

I just wanted to say I'm sorry

for beating you in today's race.

Boy, your dad must be ashamed of having 2 losers in the family.

You take that back, mandark, or I will...

[Rumbling]

Oh!

Announcer: Drivers, get to your cars!

Kids: Vroom, vroom.

[Snarling]

I can't watch!

Hey, Dexter, I hear your car is not only fast

but it also is very safe. Is that true?

Mm-hmm. It is. My dad and I fixed it up, and we did a good job.

Oh, yeah? Well, how good of a job can it do against this?

Ah!

Like sister, like brother.

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ah!

My turbo-jump is not working.

The Mark-5 has been sabotaged.

I'm going to crash up!

[Sighs]

Racer d!

Hi, Dexter!

Narrator: Secretly unknown to Dexter,

racer d is actually his older sister Dee Dee,

who supposedly disappeared 2 years ago, but she actually didn't.

Bye, Dexter!

[Thinking] Racer d saved my life, and that's good for me,

but I can't help wondering who she is.

[Thinking] Excellent, excellent. I'm in first place.

My sneaky ways put me in the lead.

I'd give myself a pat on the back,

but I'm driving, so I'll do it later.

What? Who is that mysterious driver coming up behind me? So, who could it be?

It's racer d,

the most beautiful racer in the world.

[Dreamily] Racer d...

[Tires squealing]

[Crash]

Oh, hello there, turtle.

Funny running into you.

Oh, there goes Dexter to win the race.

Bye, Dexter. Congratulations. Say hi to racer d for me.

Racer d...

Announcer: Here comes the first racer to cross the finish line.

It's Dexter in the Mark-5...

Crowd: Yay!

Followed by a trail of hot, molten lava.

Crowd: Yay!

Is it over yet? Did Dexter crash up?

No, no he didn't! He did just the opposite! He won!

And winning is the part I enjoy most about racing,

and I enjoy it even more when the winner is my son!

Congratulations, Dexter. You made me very proud.

Thanks, dad.

If only your... Older sister Dee Dee was here to...See this.

I'm right here, dad!

Oh, Dee Dee. Dee Dee, where have you been all these years?

Right behind you.

Oh, you know I never look back there. Ha ha!

Huh? No, monkey, no! That is not candy.

It is hot lava!

[Bell rings]

[Laughing]

Captioning made possible by Turner entertainment group and U.S. department of education

enter at your own peril,

past the vaulted door

where impossible things may happen

that the world's never seen before.

♪ In Dexter's laboratory

♪ lives the smartest boy

♪ you've ever seen

♪ but Dee Dee blows his experiments ♪

♪ to smithereens

♪ there is gloom and doom

♪ while things go boom

♪ in Dexter's lab

captioning performed by the national captioning institute, inc.

Public performance of captions prohibited without permission of national captioning institute