Original subtitles

Well, I've been giving this a lot of thought. I think we need to have regular

family meetings.

What do you mean?

You know, an open forum where we can discuss our feelings in a democratic

process. Now, I have the rule and standard procedure right here.

Great idea, Ray.

Who has any new business?

Tamara?

I move we don't have any more family meetings.

I second.

All in favor?

Well, I guess that's it.

I ain't never gonna love you.

live with myself.

Tia, it's just one little history class. What difference does it make? Do you

know how much history there is?

My conscience is totally clear.

Hi, Tamara. How was school?

Okay, okay. I admit it. I did history class today. Do you have to give me the

third degree?

I am so disappointed in you. What reason could you have for ditching your

history class?

You want to know the reason?

up about getting the history class when all of a sudden i heard this crash

outside and a big ugly thump big thump yes so

i looked outside and i saw this little child on a bicycle who obviously lost

control and ran to a fire hydrant so i went out there to set his little broken

arm with a couple of rulers and a scrunchie

Oh, I believe the burrito part.

You got a guacamole stain on your blouse.

Tamir, don't you realize this will go on your permanent record?

Permanent record?

Yeah. Your permanent record is stored on a humongous computer that's kept deep

inside a huge mountain in Montana. Even if there's a nuclear war, it won't be

destroyed.

The only thing left will be your permanent record and cockroach.

Maybe I should speak with Tamara alone.

Oh, I understand.

It could be a little embarrassing.

No, we just don't want to hear any more of your goofy theories.

It's not a theory.

Tia may have overstated just a tad, but something like ditching class does go on

your permanent record.

Won't pinning to an injured child look good on my permanent record?

You didn't really do that.

Oh, yeah.

I'm still being so short -sighted. You've got to look beyond today.

Let me give you an example.

Yesterday, I got a call to drive the Secretary General of Awando and his

delegation.

Awando? Yeah. Do you know why the Secretary General of Awando called Ray's

limousine service?

He needed a limo?

Tamara, remember that little talk about rhetorical questions?

Yeah. Is that a rhetorical question?

Look.

I happen to have a reputation for being a reliable, stable individual.

That's why the Awandans call me.

Way to go, Dad!

I'm so proud of you!

Well, see ya.

Tamara, you're grounded. One week, no television.

What will I do while I'm doing my homework?

Homework? Dad, that was a rhetorical question.

Oh, all right. Oh, I'm glad you're here. I'm glad you're here. I want you to

tell me something.

Now, now tell me.

Now, how much would you pay for this?

Oh, come on, Lisa. You know I'm not really good at this.

You're a businessman. You know quality and value. Now, don't let the fact that

it's my creation influence what you say. I want you to be totally honest,

objective, and unbiased with me, okay? Okay. Now, how much?

$60.

$60?

I had Mr. Jeff's boutique.

I can't wait till I get my own place so I don't have to deal with these people.

Well, hang in there and save your money, and maybe one day you'll have your own

shop. Oh, by the way, Ray, I won't be able to swing the rent this month.

Let's see, since you've been here, that's been every month in a row.

Well, then you should be okay with that.

Hello?

Yes, this is Lisa.

Well, thank you.

Goodbye.

What's that all about?

Aunt Teresa died.

Oh, no.

It's horrible.

I can't believe this.

Wait a minute. I don't have an Aunt Teresa.

I know. I do.

Oh, Lisa, I'm sorry.

Oh, look, that's okay. It's all right. Thanks.

So, anyway, what about this one?

You don't seem too broken up about it. About what?

Your dead aunt.

Oh, well, she wasn't the easiest person to get close to, unless she were a man.

She took up collecting men after my Uncle Albert died. You heard about the

from Savannah?

This was a tramp from Savannah.

Mobile, Charleston, Tallahassee. I got it. Memphis. I got it.

I guess that means you won't be going to the funeral.

Not go. That was my Aunt Teresa. How would that look?

Honey, it was nice of you to come and pay your last respects to your great

Of course I would be your mom.

She's family.

What was her name again?

Teresa. Oh, I guess I better read up on her.

A room full of men and my aunt is horizontal.

I know I'm in the right place.

Mom, I'm trying real hard to feel sad.

Tell me something about Aunt Teresa.

Well, honey, there's really not that much to tell. She was a friendly woman.

Man, I heard Teresa had a lot of money.

Over 50 grand.

What else, Mom?

I'll tell you more later.

Wonder who she left it to. Some relative.

I think it was a nephew.

No? No.

Maybe it was a niece.

You mean the one that was always broke?

She only had one kid.

What was that woman's name?

Regina or something. No, no.

It started with an L. Leslie,

uh, Laurie.

school today.

Don't ask.

My history teacher went ballistic on me.

To make up for ditching, I have to do an extra assignment.

Well, I hope you've learned your lesson.

I sure did.

Dad, can you write me a note to get me out of this extra assignment?

You're not getting out of this one, young lady.

Now, get back to your homework.

Okay.

Why are you humming it?

Well, since you won't let me watch TV, it helps me to do my homework if I hum.

episode where Jack tries to get the girls into the hot tub, but he still has

prepare the big dinner for the restaurant critic.

Oh, I'll get it, Dad.

Commercial's on.

Hello?

Um, just a minute.

It's for you.

It's the FBI.

Dad, no matter what they say, I only ditched once.

Yeah, hello. Campbell here.

Certainly. I'll hold for a special agent. Sheldrick.

See, Tamara, I was chosen to drive the Rwandan delegation because I have a

clean... Permanent record.

Hi, Bill.

How's the prep?

Preparation.

Yeah.

I didn't clear security?

What's wrong with my record?

What is it, Dad?

I was never arrested.

Oh, come on, guys.

I told you, my friends, I'm driving the Secretary General of the Wando.

10 -4.

That means goodbye.

Right. There's a permanent record.

I gotta go.

Uh -uh -uh, not so fast, mister.

Why were you arrested?

Oh, college capsules was crazy places back in the 60s.

Were you one of those anti -war dummies? demonstrators well everybody was doing

it now does that make it all right if everybody jumped off a bridge would you

at this moment yes you're not off the hook yet mister we'll have this

talk later because my favorite show is on here's a story of a lovely lady

Why must the have -nots be so bitter?

Listen, Mom.

Honey, I got you the one thing in the whole world that you've always wanted.

A computer with a 28 .8 BBS modem and CD -ROM capability?

No, honey, a Webster lunchbox with furnace capability.

I wanted this when I was six.

I know, honey, I always felt so bad I couldn't get it for you that Christmas.

I'm just making up for lost time.

Mom, this is great, but I hope you don't expect... me to bring my lunch to

school on this, do you? No, of course not.

Good, because my friends will think I'm a geek. Not when they see this. I missed

the microphone.

No, it just keeps getting better and better. And that's not all.

Mom, please.

You don't have

Lisa, I think it's wonderful that you finally have the money to do all the

things you wanted to do, but when you get a windfall like this, you should

it wisely.

Oh, I am.

Oh, yeah.

Mr. Microphone, Barbie's Dreamboat.

I mean, what is this?

Aunt Teresa.

Sorry,

but... Other than this lovely urn, I mean, you've been spending your money on

whimsical things. You should use it to follow your dreams.

So I guess you don't want this check for all that back rent I owe.

Thank you.

Oh, you're welcome.

You know, I can't take it.

I mean, what about that dream you have of owning your own shop?

Here, take this back and use it to follow your dream.

Oh, well, thank you, Ray.

Ray. What?

You gotta let it go.

Oh.

Well, here's your opportunity.

Go for it. Yeah, well, I'm going. I am going.

When?

And like the legwork, a little demographic research, it's just not that

find a shop for rent, Ray. I know. So today when I was down at the Northland

Mall, I wrote down the number of a shop for rent.

Oh, well. Well, thank you, Ray. Well, I'll call them next week. Okay, fine.

Oh, I get it.

You think I won't do it, don't you? You think that I'm afraid.

No, I don't think anything like that.

I'll show you. I'm going to call. I'll call them right now. I can do it. Well,

good. Call them any time you like. I'll call them right now. Well.

Good night. I'm a fan. So do you. I'm a fan.

Northland Mall.

Sorry, right number.

Be quiet. Stop being so selfish. You don't need him like I do.

Hey,

hey, hey, time out. Come on, hey, stop it, stop it.

Now I know who this guy is, but he's not worth it.

The bond between two sisters is stronger than any bond with any guy.

Is that clear?

Yeah. Now, who is this clown?

You, Dad.

How sweet.

I told our history teacher that you would speak to our class about your

revolutionary activities in the 16th. It was my idea.

But I need the extra credits. It's not fair. You always need the extra credits.

Hey, that's just one of the perks.

be happy to do it, but I don't think I'll be able to make it. Oh, yes, you

Your schedule's opened up a bit since you flunked your security clearance.

So, apparently, everybody found out about your permanent record.

Oh, hi, Mom.

Oh, hey.

Hello. Hello.

Hello.

Look, did you check down in the mall about that shop?

Uh, no, no, no. But I'm going to just as soon as I can learn how to call out on

this thing.

Unbelievable. Young ladies, would you excuse us for just a moment?

Oh, sure.

I get it.

You really never intended to rent that shop, did you?

No. With a lot of talk, wasn't it?

Wasn't it?

Yeah, it sounds good in conversation, but when you get right down to it, you

don't have what it takes to pull it off, do you? Do you?

No.

Huh? Guess I do.

You were absolutely right. I'm just a fake. I'm a fraud.

No, no, no, no, no, you're not. Yes, I am. No.

I was just using reverse psychology.

It usually works. No.

Okay, okay, okay. I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Well, try it again, please. Use your

reverse psychology. I really want you to.

No, I better go.

That got rid of him.

fraud or a fake.

You will listen?

Well, sure.

When an adult tells you to leave, you gotta listen.

I remember that.

Honey, I don't know anything about running a real business. I mean, who am

fooling? Well, Mom, I think you've done quite well out of the trunk of your car.

And now with this phone in your purse, you're halfway there.

See, I'm out of my league. The idea of owning my own...

me. I was five years old the first time he taught me to face my fears head on.

Baby, I was just trying to get you in the dentist's chair. That hand pump

wasn't working. I had to come up with something.

Well, it worked. And now you have to do the same thing.

I don't know. This is a lot different.

Mr. Hand says buy a store.

There are many social acts...

How does it work here?

Man, this is really boring.

Now, that period of prosperity, if you will, ushered in the 70s. Oh, no, no,

Sorry, Mr. Campbell. Only one decade per speaker.

Any questions?

Come on, kids. Get down with me. Rap with me here.

I have a question for you. Go ahead, fire away. How much do you knock off on

stretch limo for the prom?

I'll tax you a priceless.

Dad, why are you being so modest?

You know, He was arrested during a college demonstration.

Oh, really?

Could you tell us about it? Unless that's dull, too.

I'd rather not go into that.

And the FBI still won't let him forget it. You were a radical?

Radical?

No, I wasn't exactly a radical.

Well, you were arrested, weren't you? Well, yeah, but... No buts, Dad. You

better tell them or this could get ugly.

Were you one of those hippies?

Well, I was kind of groovy.

Well, my dad said that those hippie weirdos were just trying to rip this

to shreds. I wasn't that groovy.

So, what'd you go to jail for?

Did you take over the administration building?

No, no. You blew up the ROTC building, right?

No. Well, where you are, one of those weirdos that kidnapped Patty Hearst.

My dad wouldn't do anything that terrible.

Then what'd you do, man?

What did you do?

I ran naked through the campus, all right?

They called it streaking.

I was pledging this fraternity.

I'm not proud of what I did, and I'm still paying for it.

You ran around naked, Ray?

Putting enough money away to start Tia's college fund. I had $5 ,000 left over

to fulfill my dream.

You got the shop, look.

Whoa, this is a bar. Well, actually.

Oh, this is great. You can take out that wall and put dress rooms over on the

side. No, but it's a great location.

Yeah, there's plenty of room for a nice window display.

This isn't my store.

Good.

It's too small anyway. I mean, you need a lot more room for a window display.

Besides, this end of the mall is dead.

Right, how many dress rooms can you get in there?

Besides. I do want this store when you got that stupid cart parked out in

So where's your store? This stupid cart is my store.

Better.

Oh, plenty of foot traffic here. It's nice. You don't have to worry about

space. Yeah, forget about all those dressing rooms.

You gotta admit, it's a step up from the trunk of my car. Exactly.

One step up.

with advertising, business cards, hangers, insurance, liability, and

well, this is all I could afford.

And I'm thrilled to own it.

Well, that's great, Mom.

And we're proud of you.

You're going to do great. I just know you are.

Yeah, I think so, too. I am here to stay.

Watch out!

That's a better location anyway.

Passions by Letha.

Conveniently located between the Orange Bang and the Gap.

Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you. The mall called. They moved your car to the

other side.

Oh, look, let me help you with a few of those.

Okay.