Original subtitles

Mir, I've got great news. Me too. What's your news? I signed up to be a tutor.

I'll get extra credit and it'll help me earn points toward the student abroad

program. You think that's good? I put money in the vending machine and I got

extra bag of chips.

Hey! Hey,

there's that new guy, L .J. Lamar. Is he hot or what?

Hi, L .J.

I'm Roger, jock guy.

What team do you play on?

No, I'm not a jock.

I'm the jock guy.

I hand them out.

Equipment manager.

He's only been here for a week, and he's already captain of the football team.

He doesn't even know you exist.

I know, but I'm going to make him notice me.

Tamir, please, not the old, gee, I dropped my lunch move. That is so lame.

It is, huh?

Watch and learn, my sister.

Do you feel stupid?

Not really.

This is your lunch.

Do you think a woman who showed up at our high school reunion in this dress

would just make all the other women there just die of envy?

Class reunions. Isn't it pathetic that some loser's gonna wear that just to

delude people into thinking she's done something with her sad little life?

When in fact, her natural beauty alone is enough to make those jerks eat their

hearts out.

Look, just because I'm wearing this dress and I haven't eaten anything but

cakes and lettuce for the last two weeks, it doesn't mean I'm trying to

a bunch of old girlfriends.

I'm sorry, Lisa. I'm trying to impress a guy.

Right. Not just any guy, either. Right, right. Uh -huh.

David Johnson.

Ooh.

Oh, he was cute and smart. He had a crush on me all during high school. I

did anything about it.

You know, I think I understand.

When I was in high school, there was this girl. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I show you

sit -down. This is my moment.

You know, Lisa, you don't have to make a dress or lose weight just to impress a

man.

Really?

Oh, well, that's bad. What you need is a limo.

You know that's a good idea?

Can you let me use one of your limos for the night?

I own a company, Donna.

When's the reunion?

Friday night.

Consider it done.

Oh, Ray.

Oh, Ray, this is really nice of you. Well, you know, it's because you're a,

well, you're a friend.

Yeah, well, anyway, thanks.

It's funny, isn't it, how sometimes a terrific guy, somebody sensitive,

responsible, intelligent, can be right up on your nose and you never even

him. You mean that David Johnson guy, huh? No, no, I'm talking about somebody

else.

Elisa, stop right there. If you mean what I think you mean... Howard Feeney.

Marching band.

That boy could work a sousaphone.

Who'd you think I meant?

Huh?

Mom, I've got an English test tomorrow and I'm going to go study down at the

library. Well, what's wrong with your room?

Tamir... doing Jim Carrey impressions and playing hacky sack with the soda

Oh, Tia, please.

I'm okay.

Bye, Mom. Bye -bye.

Ooh, if I'm going to lose 12 pounds in 72 hours, I better go jog or something.

Tamara, aren't you and Tia's English class?

All righty then, Dad.

Don't you have an English test tomorrow?

I think so.

Yeah, I'm pretty sure. You know, you're right.

Don't you have to pull your grades up?

Boy, I'll say, ooh, somebody stop me.

All right, I will. Why are you watching Goof Troop?

Because Baywatch isn't on yet. Hello?

Tamara, start studying. No TV.

All righty then.

What's up?

I'm LJ Lamar.

Coach Kelly gave me your name from the list of tutors.

I'm supposed to set up a time with you to help me study.

You're Tia Landry, right?

Unless there's somebody else walking around with this face.

Great.

Because I've got one week to get my grades up or Coach won't let me play in

first game.

So when can you start tutoring me?

Well, how about right now?

Cool.

Somebody stop me.

Okay. Now, the most important thing about learning good study habits, LJ, is

create the proper work environment. For an example, we need the right kind of

light to study by.

And a little music to help us concentrate.

Studying is kind of fun.

You know, I always thought you smart girls were, I don't know, real serious.

Yeah, that's a con -mis -con -stru -ization.

Why don't we start by quizzing you on some of the questions at the end of the

chapter? Cool.

Okay.

Number one.

A common rally calls the American... Revolution was no taxation without...

Receipts?

Correct!

Okay,

um... Number two.

Compare and contrast the causes and results of the American Revolution with

those of the French Revolution.

No clue.

What's the answer?

started when the English king placed a tax on tea and coffee and

orange juice, pretty much all the breakfast drinks.

And the French Revolution, however, started when Marie Antoinette

and her husband, King Antoinette, said, let them

eat cake.

You see the difference? Tea, cake, food, beverages.

if I'm going to be able to keep up to you.

Don't worry.

I'll go slow.

What's going on here?

Hello, sir. I'm L .J. Lamar. I'm here for tutoring.

Oh, I see.

May I speak with you a minute?

Excuse us.

Honey, I didn't know you were going to have a tutor. That's great.

How hard is it for you to, you know, admit that you need help?

Hey, no use pretending you're something you're not, right?

Exactly.

Well, uh, keep up the good work.

I'm doing my best, sir.

Check out Tamir and Elgin. Unbelievable.

Just a few days ago, she threw my lunch in front of him, and he stepped on it.

Dasty on how to hook a hunk.

Hey, guys.

Have you met my tutor?

You're gonna need a tutor, man.

I hear Lindstrom's giving us a pop quiz today.

No problem.

She taught me everything she knows about the American Revolution.

Yeah, and it only took me ten minutes.

Wow.

Oh, you coming over to study again tonight?

I'll bring my steak and jaguar this time.

Cool.

I got three of them right.

Yes!

That team really helped, huh? Helped? I got five right on the last quiz.

She's making me dumber.

What's up, LJ?

Thanks to Tia Landry, I'm not going to be able to play this season. That's

Hey, you and LJ are looking pretty tight there, Tamara.

Yeah, couldn't you just die, Tia? I'm seeing the most...

Hey,

Denise, bite me.

Denise, that was harsh.

I'm sorry, Tia, but if you're going to tutor somebody... You should take the

a little more seriously.

What are you talking about?

If LG's won history, he won't be able to play all season.

high school whip that's gonna lie awake tonight tormenting himself because he

let you slip away and reduce his life to a meaningless joke.

Hooray. You sure know what to say to a woman.

Well, I said pretty much the same thing to Tamara when she got her first zit.

Thanks. Is the limo here yet?

The limo?

Yeah. I mean, no. I mean, any minute now.

Oh, good.

Did you get me a stretch or a town car?

Uh, a stretch.

Of course.

You know, full bar, TV, moonroof. You did want a moonroof. You know, a lot of

women don't like moonroofs because the wind messes up their hair. Better cancel

that moonroof.

You forgot to order my limo, didn't you?

I feel real terrible about this.

I'm very sorry.

That's okay. Don't worry about it.

Oh, okay.

Well, I'm sure David Johnson will be just as impressed when I pull up in

White on Ruston, white broken down 75 Eldorado.

I'm all my way through the cellophane on the broken window side and scratch my

way and hurl myself up over... All right, all right.

As much as I'd like to see that.

I promise you a limousine and you're going to get one.

Hello, Todd, this is Ray.

Can you have the Regency stretch over my house in five minutes?

Yeah, have Jimmy drive it.

Oh, yeah, that's right, he's got a booking, yeah.

Uh, Donna, then.

Oh, uh, how about Larry?

How about you, Todd?

Come on, Todd. You're going to have other children, and the obstetrician can

the camcorder.

Okay.

And?

And I'm Raymond, your limousine driver.

Oh, I really appreciate this, Ray.

Well, I know you do, and I want you to know you should feel free and treat me

like you would any other chauffeur.

How's the pupil?

Lousy. Well, you know, she had so much potential.

Everybody, touch up!

Hi, L .J., come on in.

Look, I know you must be upset right now, but I talked to your history

and he said if you get a C on your test tomorrow, you'll be able to pull up your

grade enough to play.

So far, I've gotten F -minus, Tia.

Am I ever going to get a C?

Hey, if anybody can pull this off, it's Tia Lamb.

Let them play it.

Hi, Tia.

You still mad at me? What do you think, Tamira?

Because of you, even the chess club hates me.

They chase me three blocks.

And they run pretty fast for guys wearing hush puppies.

What can I say, Tia?

I open the door and LJ was...

Yes, my brain was still working on, I wonder what he looks like in bicycle

pants.

Tia, I know you won't forgive me. And there's no reason why you should forgive

me. Will you forgive me?

No.

What, Tia? I'm sorry.

It's just that when LJ thought I was smart, it felt sort of good.

But from now on, I'll be honest.

Please?

Okay, I forgive you. Great!

Okay. Here's the plan.

LJ's downstairs right now, and you have to help him ace the test.

No way. Either that, or you're going to have to transfer to another school.

All right.

What do I have to do?

It's simple, really.

All you have to do is be you, pretending to be me, pretending to be you.

What happened to honesty?

I'll start tomorrow.

get this over with, okay?

And I'll take those.

Not so fast.

I don't think I trust you anymore, Benedict Alexander.

I think you mean Benedict Arnold.

Not according to you.

Benedict Arnold was the American trader who attempted to sell West Point to the

British. Or perhaps you mean Alexander Hamilton, the first secretary of the

treasury.

Why aren't you taking notes?

Oh. Uh, uh, just back.

What are you doing?

You know, to help us concentrate.

How are we supposed to study with that racket? Turn it off!

Sit down! Open your book, chapter three.

Man, you smart girls got some nasty mood swings.

Let's go, let's go, let's go!

Really, I own the limo company.

I'm only driving as a favor to the woman I live with.

I mean, I live with her because, you see, she is the mother of my daughter's

twin sister.

They were separated at birth.

They found each other at the mall.

You're right.

I'm just a driver.

Finally, only two hours later than she said she'd be.

Yeah, they think they're so much better than us, huh?

Hey, a limo.

I'm impressed.

It's about time, Lisa.

Are you going to let that clown talk to you like that?

Oh, don't worry, Dave. That's just Raymond, my driver.

Harris Raymond, we're going to get a drink.

Yes, ma 'am.

I'm sure glad you came over to me at the reunion.

I must admit, I never would have recognized you, Lisa. Oh, David, you

changed one bit.

I forgot to mention this, but behind the panel on the left is a fine Bordeaux,

macadamia nuts, and some chilled guava nectar.

What? No beer or corn nuts?

I thought these things were supposed to be classy.

Hey, pull over here at this party store.

Stop, stop!

It's none of my business, Lisa, but I think you're too good for this guy.

I know he isn't quite what I described, but everybody changes a little.

It's your life. All I'm saying is maybe the reality is not living up to your

fantasy.

I know David Ray, and deep down, he's a fine, decent, sensitive man.

Step on it.

The guy messed up on the change gave me three extra dollars.

Hurry!

all those years ago?

Oh, no.

Just now.

I seen you here. We were sitting in your car. Remember?

Mm -hmm.

And I was telling you I couldn't go out with you because I was seeing Lonnie

Baxter. Mm -hmm.

Who's Lonnie Baxter?

Oh, you remember. The boy in Mrs. Brayman's class.

Who's Mrs. Brayman?

teacher. You know, she was only the best teacher they had, Ford High.

Ford High?

I went to Denby.

You what?

Denby High's reunion was in the antelope room. Ford High's was in the Wolverine

room.

No kidding.

Ain't no wonder I didn't recognize anyone.

I must be really sloshed.

Union, Miss Landry?

No, thank you. Let's go home, Ray.

As you wish, madam.

Oh, you can cut that out now, Ray.

Sorry. The hat.

So, how'd you do?

Terrible. I got worse than enough.

I got a G.

Not a G.

That's a C -.

Oh, that's what those look like.

You did.

That's great.

Come on. Let's go celebrate together.

Sure, Tia.

Um, wait.

I've got to be honest with you, LJ.

I'm not Tia.

I'm Tia's twin sister, Tamara.

I just pretended to be Tia so I could tutor you. But that was really Tia who

tutored you yesterday. Not me, Tamara.

Huh?

I'm Tamera, not Tia.

I just pretended to be Tia so I can go out with you.

Okay, okay, I got it.

So where do you want to go, Tia?

I'm here to start my tutor session.

I need a little help going over my anatomy.

You don't even take anatomy, Roger.

No, but I have one.