Original subtitles

My stomach hurts.

What's going on in here? Sounds like somebody's dying.

Tamira's stomach hurts. It's really sharp. I never had this pain before.

Oh, let me see.

Girl,

you're burning up.

Tell me when it hurts.

Uh -uh.

Uh uh.

be appendicitis gallbladder what no no no they ain't dead no i'm sure

because if they were they'd be sleeping in a manger okay now how soon can you

have an ambulance over here 20 minutes people could die in 20 minutes we're

gonna die over my dead body come on girls i'm taking you we're dead he's

at that banquet okay give me your arm am i too heavy no no don't worry in the

time of crisis superhuman strength takes over

Superheroes said kick ass.

And my neck hurts, and I'm having trouble remembering things.

Oh. Oh, well, then I guess you forgot that the doctor already saw you.

He did?

Sorry. My mistake.

Could you hurry it up? My baby's all in pain. Right, girls? Pain? Yes!

I need your health insurance card.

Health insurance?

Yes. Who do we contact for payment?

Authorization. Look, Miss Thing, if you don't admit these girls right now,

you're going to authorize me to get ugly, and I am not pretty when I get

Right, girls?

Ugly? No.

Lisa, I got here as quick as I could. What's going on?

Nurse Kevorkian here won't admit the girls.

Look, here's my health card.

Thank you, sir.

How can twins have different last names?

Look, they were separated at birth. They were adopted. They found each other at

the mall. They're broke. Now you fix them.

We'll see you then in a moment.

Ray,

about the money. You know I'm... Don't worry about it. Just pay me back

you like.

Tia Landry, Tamara Campbell? Oh, right over here. And we can get the doctor,

Tia. I am the doctor.

What?

You're kind of young, aren't you?

Oh, look, don't worry. I get that all the time.

I like to think I'm mature for my age.

Oh. How old are you?

Letting your bees wax.

Okay, that's what the problem is.

Ow!

Ow!

Mm -hmm.

You guys are having pains in your side.

Now, I'd like to see some ID.

It looked like a cute appendicitis on both of them. Well, how serious is it?

should operate right away to avoid complications.

They're going to get us open? You know, I have a big exam I have to study for.

You better hurry. She's hallucinating.

Uh, we'll just do the surgery and take them to OR3 stat. We'll take it from

here. Oh, no, no, no.

Tell me the worst. Girl, a toilet bowl overflowed.

Ray, this is torture.

I thought it was supposed to get easy as they got older.

You know, I remember bringing Tamara home from the adoption agency.

You won't believe what I bought her. A set of encyclopedia Britannics.

Oh, I believe it.

I stayed up all night reading to her about what was in Yugoslavia.

Oh, what a time we had.

I remember bringing Tia home for the first time.

I wanted to buy her a little mobile, but my money was tight, so I made her one

out of Ritz crackers.

Every morning I made it, every evening I ate it.

You know, it's nice to have someone to go through this with. It sure is.

Yeah, well, enough of that bonding, Ray.

How you feeling, girls?

Better.

Good. And don't feel bad about having that scar.

It's just proof you got your money's worth.

Let me see.

Ooh, this is fine work.

Mm -hmm.

Nice, big, thick, thin, finished off with a clean feather cross.

I didn't know what to get from the gift shop, so I got, let's see, a Waldo's

book, a book of crossword puzzles, a Wall Street Journal, ace bandage, two

stuffed animals, and a bonsai plant that reads, congratulations on your new hip.

Dad. And if you get hungry, I ran out and I got you some real food.

What is it?

Quesadillas and hot wings.

Thanks, Mom, but can you just put it over there for now?

Ray, thank you for taking care of those hospital bills. I want you to know I'll

pay you back.

No problem.

No, no, no. I can't stand being in debt.

Lisa. I insist. Just give me a day.

Ten working days.

No, no. A day from inside that fruit bag.

And could you hand me the hot sauce from that bag?

Must you think of food 24 hours a day?

Ray, when I'm nervous, I eat.

It's not like food is the center of my life.

Yeah, well, I'm sorry. You know where I can get a cup of coffee?

Down that hall right after the candy machine. Turn left. Go three doors until

you get to the sandwich machine. Hang a right past the snack bar where they're

selling the cakes with the walnuts on them. The candy machine's right next to

the only soda machine that sells Yoo -Hoo.

I don't know what's keeping him. He should be here any minute.

Hey!

What are you clapping for? You, pal, you're on.

What? No, you got the wrong guy. I'm looking for my daughter's room. Look,

kind of in a bind here. We had a singer book, but I guess he ditched the old

folks. Do you think you could help us out?

Me? I'd do it, but I'd bathe him.

Look, I'm not a singer. We got a karaoke machine.

Come on, get some use out of your rental.

Hey, pal, I own.

Ladies and gentlemen, let's give a nice, warm welcome to... What's your name?

Ray Campbell. Look, I don't want... He's played all the hospitals in the Detroit

metropolitan area. You know him. You kind of like him. Ray Campbell!

I am not a singer. I am not a professional.

I don't want to do this. I don't... Start spreading the news.

I'm leaving today.

I want to...

The new start of it.

KNO New York!

Oh, hello.

I have a surprise for two patients who are doing just fine.

Really? What is it? Your appendix is pretty cool, huh?

Look at these weird colors.

Mine look sad.

Are you okay? You look kind of pale. Oh, no, I'm fine. I just need a pale.

You know, girls here, your medical histories are amazing.

Oh, come on. You're just saying that. No, you had the same childhood disease

almost the exact same time. Except for the ringworm.

Ew, that was her.

How do you know all this, Dr. Bailey?

Oh, it's in your records. You were born right here in this hospital.

We were?

Yeah, didn't you know that? Oh, yeah.

Guess they must have painted the place.

You mean they have all of our birth information here?

Must be downstairs in the file room.

I'll see you girls later.

Oh, and, uh...

As your doctor, I want you to know that I'll always be there for you. I love my

work. Dr. Bailey, you're wanted in surgery.

Why don't they just leave me alone?

Tia, if they really have all of our birth information here, that means we

find the names of our real parents.

So?

But don't you want to know who they are?

Well, I guess I never really thought about it that much. Really?

I've always wondered what they were like. I mean, were they cool?

Were they like the Huxtables?

Were they like the Bundys?

Well, if they were like the Huxtables, they would have never put us up for

adoption. Maybe they didn't have a choice.

Look, I'm just saying we should think about this.

Tamera, in no way, shape, or form do I want to be involved.

Good. Keep an open mind.

What's it all about now?

Is it just...

In the moment we leave.

What's your name, honey?

A little nervous, huh?

That's all right. This song's for you. What's it all about when we started out?

Are we to take more than we give?

Ray, what's he doing in here?

My second encore.

Boy, they ate up my family, Davis Jr.

You know, I feel a lot of love in this room.

Yeah, a lot of liniment, too.

Thank you.

I kind of got, you know, roped into this, but, hey, they love me.

Yeah, Ray.

Yeah, Ray. Looks like you killed.

Sir, are you okay?

Do it till you drop.

You know, Ray, I think we should get out of here.

What? I haven't done my Motown medley. Let them enjoy the time they have left,

Ray.

Okay, our show's over. Drive safe. Peace out.

Come on, Ray.

Oh, Ray.

Get that woman back her drawers.

I always thought about it a lot.

They could be anybody.

I really want to know who they are.

So do I.

But I don't want to hurt my mom's feelings.

I know I know.

I've been thinking about my dad, too.

But we do have a right to know who our real parents are.

I just don't know if we should do this. I think it's illegal.

Look, all we have to do is find the file room. I know this sounds silly, but I

wish we had a sign or something.

What's it all about, Alfie?

Come on, let's go. You think that's a sign?

No. I just want to get out of here before he hits the course.

What's it all about, Mommy?

There, that's better.

I made my butt look too big.

Tea with you?

Ooh, me too.

You have to get back before they wake up, okay?

Hey! Shh!

Roger, what are you doing here?

Well, I was sitting here watching you guys. Then I fell asleep.

And the next thing I know, well, this is the next thing I know.

Roger, you can't come with us. Yeah, it doesn't concern you.

Is there any way to treat me?

I spent two hours in the gift shop picking something out for you. Really?

is it? Hey, I don't have any money.

Okay, Rogers, you're in. But don't try anything weird. Okay, before we go, we

need to synchronize our body clocks.

How do we do that?

Goop up.

Forget it.

How about one by one?

Tia, is it even going to work? No one's going to believe that this twerp works

in the hospital.

Orderly, you want it in surgery.

is performing a breast enhancement surgery. He just needs a hand.

Bye.

Roger, how can you do this?

Hey, this is what I went to medical school for.

Okay, you just gotta get to the foul room.

Okay, I got an idea.

I'll get on the gurney and you push it.

If that mockingbird don't sing, mama gonna eat your last hot wing.

Aren't they cute, right?

Are the girls all right? Mm -hmm.

How are the girls resting?

Oh, hi, Dr. Bailey. They're doing just fine. We want to thank you for

you've done. It's my pleasure.

By the way, if there's any discomfort, don't worry about it. I think I dropped

my reading glasses in one of them. What? Just kidding.

Do you think you could be serious for just one moment?

Yeah.

You know, I'd appreciate it if you were just a little bit more professional.

Oh, Ray, I don't know. You know, some people just don't take the time to stop

and smell the roses.

And now let's take a look at those new breaths.

We gotta do this. There's no time.

We did find each other. Hurry up, nurse. This poor guy has suffered severe

trauma.

Tamara, you want me to fluff up your pillow?

Thanks, Dad.

Tia, can I get you some cake or something?

Sure. Okay.

Ray, come on, let's go to the cafeteria.

Don't they need something a little healthier?

Why don't we get them some carrot cake?

Girls, I hope you know how much we love you. You're our whole world.

Yeah, we're happy you're okay. We'd be lost without you.

I don't think we need to look anymore.

Yeah.

He'd be too tough to take care of another set of parents.

You know, when I threw that cummerbund, it was in the heat of the moment.

You know, this is a very expensive tux, and I own it. And, well, you see, that's

mine.