Original subtitles

We're planning on winning our school talent show. We just had to figure out

our best talent is.

Where do we begin?

Come on, come on, come on.

They're as bad as I think they are.

Shut up, baby. You're smiling.

I mean, bravo!

Sophie,

for you, I'm going with the purple chiffon because you're classy and

sophisticated.

And Henrietta, I think the sizzling red number is you because you a tramp.

They start talking back, run.

Oh, thanks.

They like my design so much, they want to see some samples.

Oh, that's great. I got some more good news for you. Your mom left a message.

Yeah, she's coming to visit.

Ugh.

I take it you and your mom don't get along.

Well, she never seemed to have much faith in me. Every time I tried

new, she just gave me the look.

The look?

You know, kind of like when you smell bad fish.

I'll just tell her it's not a good time.

Oh, come on. I'm sure you can put up with your mom for a few days.

Well, it's your house and all. I just hate to impose.

That's never stopped you before.

Guys, I don't mind. I mean, I'm in the family.

Oh, well, good, because I told her all about you.

Yeah? What'd you tell her?

Oh, listen to that and the other thing.

Oh, come on. What'd you say?

Oh, listen to that and you're my husband.

Excuse me. No, Ray. Now, I never actually said it. I never actually said

When I told her the story about the girls and how I moved in here, she just

assumed we were married.

As soon as I stopped choking, I was going to tell her the truth.

But, you know, for once she was so happy, so I kept putting it off. And

was finally going to tell her, then the UPS man knocked on the door with a

wedding gift one day from Mama Ray was Tupperware.

You are insane.

Oh, no, the deluxe collection, salad spinner, everything.

The subject, clothes.

Oh, come on, Ray, now it's only for a few days.

No.

Ray.

Marriages are built on communication.

How'd you do that?

I'm everywhere.

Just leave me alone.

There's no way I'm going to be your husband. Oh, come on.

No. I'll pay you. There's not enough money in the world.

I'll do all the cooking for a week. No.

Oh, Ray, come on. I'll do all the cleaning for a week. No.

I'm going to talk for a week.

I now pronounce us husband and wife.

Well, my grandma's coming to visit.

Our grandma now.

Of course, we're happy to see her. Yeah.

We can't wait to show her our mini talent.

Where do we begin?

Say something, Mom.

It's beyond words.

Well, talent show judges aren't going to know what hit them.

Sorry.

Maybe we need a little more practice.

No, no, you hit me good.

See you later, Grandma.

I'm doubly blessed.

Bye, Mom and Dad.

Our wonderful parents.

Go work on that, girl.

I can't believe I have two such beautiful granddaughters. And if you two

get busy, it could be a third.

Here's your tea, Mama, just the way you like it. Oh, thanks, baby.

Mama, did I tell you I was up for this great job?

Oh, really?

Uh -huh. Baby's selling my dresses at this really stylish boutique on Main

Street. I am so proud of you.

You finally found yourself a wonderful man.

I'm so glad my baby has a husband to take care of her.

Well, I'm happy to do it, Mrs. Landry. What's this Mrs. Landry stuff? I'm armed

to you.

Okay. Armed.

Lisa, I almost forgot. That box is for you there.

Yeah? Uh -huh. A little something for your shoe sole.

to enjoy.

Let the good times roll.

Okay, I got it.

Here's our act.

What happens to a dream differ?

Does it dry up like a rain from the sun?

Or does it heal?

A poem? What am I supposed to do?

Well...

Feed the Raven.

Bob, what other talents do we have?

You got me?

What? You're gonna be my backup singers.

Are your braids too tight?

Go ahead and laugh, but I've seen you twirl and I've seen you juggle. Even

cute little leotards aren't gonna save you.

Why can't you be more talented?

Me? At least I'm in band.

You play the triangle.

First triangle.

Talking about my girl, my girl.

Are you thinking what I'm thinking?

It is me. Pardon me. Move.

Well, unfortunately, girls, I only need two backups.

Make a real nice nursery.

So, Mama, what do you think of my creations?

They're nice.

Where's Ray?

Oh, I don't know.

He's asleep, I guess.

Well, honey,

I don't mean to get in your business, but for newlyweds, you two aren't very

affectionate.

your father mama i didn't need to know that my point is my

room is next to yours and well how do i put this i've been sleeping like a baby

oh mama we we don't want to wear out a good thing but just remember

divorce comes a knocking if the room ain't rocking

I just have to humor my mama.

Now, can we please pretend we're happily married?

that with me.

I can't get over you started with one limo and now you got a dozen. Hi, Lisa.

Hi, honey. Hi, sugar.

My heart is full.

I think we're all pretty full.

You know, that husband of yours showed me the time of my life.

Well, I don't want to spoil your day, Mama, but...

get the job.

What job?

The dress of Mama Monique. My big break.

Oh, that.

Don't get yourself all worked up over nothing.

Nothing?

Lisa, you're always chasing some crazy dream.

You are doing what is important.

You're keeping your man happy.

I know.

I heard you.

Well, thanks, Mama. I feel much better.

That's what I'm here for, baby.

That's what I'm here for.

Woo! There it is! Woo! There it is! Woo! There it is! Woo! Shaka -laka, shaka

-laka, shaka -laka. Next.

Friends world.

Party time. Excellent.

So, Wayne.

Excuse me? Who's going to be visiting us tonight?

Madonna.

Sure.

just let yourself go.

Hi. How's it?

Did you guys try out for the talent show?

Yeah, we tried and now we're out.

Thanks to Tia.

What happened?

She killed us, that's what.

Tia just stood on the stage and froze.

Even I couldn't carry her.

My mouth was wide open.

Fly flew in and flew out and she didn't even notice.

Poor Tia. Where is she?

She's on the porch. Grandma's trying to cheer her up.

You can do anything you want to do.

But I froze.

Well, all the greats had a rough start.

Look at Satchmo.

Who? Well, maybe it was a little before your time.

Take Sammy Davis Jr.

Who?

Mr. Bojangles, the candy man.

I'm older than dirt.

Forget it, Grandma.

All I'm saying is, you can be one of the greats. You're ooh. with talent.

You're just saying that because you're my grandma. No, no, no.

I know about these things.

Now, you march over there and you tell those judges to give you another chance.

And when they do, you just sing your heart out.

Don't let anything get in the way of your dreams.

Okay, I'm gonna try.

That's my girl.

Oh, hi, Mom.

You feeling better?

Yeah.

Thanks, Grandma.

That's what I'm here for.

Oh, Lisa.

Oh, Ray.

Saddle up, pony girl.

You are twisted.

I'm reading a western.

I'm just not in the mood.

Tell me, Lisa, is there somebody else?

let her get to me all right i love you if it bothered you so much why don't you

talk to her about it i shouldn't need her approval what am i five years old i

just wanted to hang one of my dresses on the refrigerator

Oh, that's nice. You're finally making a hot breakfast.

I am so proud of Tia, talking her way into another audition.

Yeah, I'm really happy for her.

I guess a little encouragement goes a long way.

Yep, it sure does.

Why are you asking me that?

You're going to add more flour, aren't you?

No, actually, honey, it's a little lumpy already.

I just want a little encouragement, okay? I encourage you? Oh, yeah?

You always chasing after some crazy dream.

I just never wanted you to be disappointed.

So you were so sure I'd fail?

You're my daughter. I was trying to protect you.

Mom, I didn't want your protection. I wanted you to be proud of me.

Of course I'm proud. of you. Mama, the only thing that you have ever been proud

of is a lie.

Now, what does that mean?

I'm not married.

What?

I said I'm not married.

Morning, Mom.

Hi, honey.

How are my two favorite ladies?

Oh, shut up. Yes, shut up.

I guess the honeymoon's over.

talent show yeah we're gonna be great i know they still got it

hey the camera's all loaded oh no ray you're not gonna be one of those

obnoxious parents blocking everybody's view with your butt yeah maybe you're

right i shouldn't take it well i'll just take mine

Take it you and your mom are still on the outs?

We're as close as we ever were.

I'm ready.

You wearing my dress?

I hope you don't mind.

I stole it off one of your mannequins. I think it looks better on me.

I think you're right.

And I'll be proud to wear it.

Oh, thank you, Mama.

I think you need to get this coat cleaned.

I know, Mama. I know, Mama.

Thank you, pony boy.

Okay, Lisa, it is time to pay the piper. Oh, fine, very fine.

A deal's a deal.

Starting now, I won't talk for a week.

Great. Now, you have a nice day. I know I will. Woo -hoo!

Yes!

Hello, Ray.

I feel like talking.

I have so much I want to tell you.

On Tuesday, I went to the fabric store and I found the most beautiful fabric, a

paisley. Lots of the burgundy and a nice kelly green.

Speaking of kelly green, you know that best you want Wednesday made you look

like a leprechaun.

On Thursday, I went to lunch with my friend Lucille, but I just had the tuna,

but it was good. Real lemony, just the way I like it. Oh, by the way, Ray, Ray,

Ray.

I went to the mall. I saw that girl, Wanda, that used to go out with, you

the one that wore the weave. You know, she looked pretty good.