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Would you like to inspect the original subtitles? These are the user uploaded subtitles that are being translated: 1 00:01:49,957 --> 00:01:52,482 The colossal Kevin O'Shea goes back to pass. 2 00:01:52,659 --> 00:01:54,957 Sees his little brother Danny downfield. 3 00:01:55,129 --> 00:01:58,963 The rush is on. The ball is in the air. The crowd is going wild. 4 00:01:59,133 --> 00:02:03,126 Danny catches the ball. He's at the 10, the 20, the 25. 5 00:02:03,303 --> 00:02:05,498 It looks like he could go all the way. 6 00:02:05,672 --> 00:02:08,664 The O'Shea brothers are about to win the championship. 7 00:02:08,842 --> 00:02:13,040 Oh, there's a fumble. Danny got it. Hey, Kevin, wait up. 8 00:02:13,213 --> 00:02:17,877 How many touchdowns you gonna throw me? I'll bet it's at least 50, maybe 100. 9 00:02:18,052 --> 00:02:21,453 - What time was Mom gonna pick you up? - She's not picking me up. 10 00:02:21,622 --> 00:02:24,989 She said I could spend the day with you. Isn't that great? 11 00:02:25,159 --> 00:02:27,184 Yeah. Great. 12 00:02:37,204 --> 00:02:39,138 - Okay, spaces or laces? - Spaces! 13 00:02:39,306 --> 00:02:42,503 - Come on! - Go! 14 00:02:43,077 --> 00:02:44,510 - Come on! - Spaces! 15 00:02:47,581 --> 00:02:50,049 - Laces. - Laces, daddy-o. 16 00:02:51,385 --> 00:02:54,980 - I'll take Butz. - Yes. It's over. 17 00:02:55,722 --> 00:02:57,383 - Stein and Rip. - Yes. 18 00:02:57,558 --> 00:02:59,583 - Pinski. - Yes. 19 00:02:59,760 --> 00:03:01,227 - McCormick. - Yeah. 20 00:03:01,395 --> 00:03:02,987 - Ralphy. - Yes. 21 00:03:03,163 --> 00:03:05,131 - Mouse. - Yes. 22 00:03:05,299 --> 00:03:07,392 - Moritti. - Yeah. 23 00:03:07,568 --> 00:03:10,059 All right. Let's play some football. 24 00:03:10,370 --> 00:03:12,497 Hey, Danny, the ball. Give me. 25 00:03:13,373 --> 00:03:16,706 I must be pretty bad if my own brother won't even pick me. 26 00:03:16,877 --> 00:03:20,176 - Danny, look at it my way. - I stink and you know it. 27 00:03:20,347 --> 00:03:23,373 You're perfect, and I stink. That's it. The end. 28 00:03:23,550 --> 00:03:24,778 No, that's not it. 29 00:03:24,952 --> 00:03:28,046 It's just that I'm so good it makes you look really bad. 30 00:03:28,222 --> 00:03:30,588 - Are you trying to cheer me up? - Yeah. 31 00:03:31,191 --> 00:03:33,955 - It's not working. - See, I stink at something too. 32 00:03:34,128 --> 00:03:37,620 Give me the ball. I'll score a couple touchdowns for you. 33 00:03:40,167 --> 00:03:42,795 We kick off. Stand back, baby. 34 00:03:45,572 --> 00:03:47,369 Hi, Danny. 35 00:03:48,442 --> 00:03:49,670 Hi, Patty. 36 00:03:49,843 --> 00:03:54,041 - Aren't you playing today? - No, I'm on the injured list. 37 00:03:56,950 --> 00:03:58,747 Hey, Danny... 38 00:03:59,453 --> 00:04:00,750 ...see that water tower? 39 00:04:01,021 --> 00:04:04,149 One day our name's gonna be up there in big letters. 40 00:04:04,324 --> 00:04:05,757 The O'Shea brothers. 41 00:04:05,926 --> 00:04:09,157 We're gonna own this town. You and me, buddy. 42 00:04:31,919 --> 00:04:35,184 Dig. Dig. Dig. Dig. Come on, people. Show me something. 43 00:04:35,355 --> 00:04:37,186 Move it! Move it! 44 00:04:37,357 --> 00:04:41,293 Are you kidding, people? It's called sweat. Show me some. Move. Move. 45 00:04:42,696 --> 00:04:45,426 Come on, gentlemen. Suck it up. Suck it up! 46 00:04:45,599 --> 00:04:47,533 - Faster. - Looking good, coach. 47 00:04:50,304 --> 00:04:52,568 - Oh, baby, now we're talking. - Yeah. 48 00:04:52,739 --> 00:04:57,267 All right. Everybody, back up. Back up. Give him room. Give him some air. 49 00:04:58,445 --> 00:05:00,140 Nice pop, Icebox. 50 00:05:01,181 --> 00:05:02,671 Thanks, Uncle Kev. 51 00:05:02,849 --> 00:05:04,714 - Is he dead? - Well, he ain't moving. 52 00:05:04,985 --> 00:05:09,752 - You killed him, Icebox. - Hey, Rudy, you okay? 53 00:05:11,625 --> 00:05:13,320 Oh, Rudy. 54 00:05:15,996 --> 00:05:19,625 Peanut butter and jelly sandwich? Are you nuts? 55 00:05:20,801 --> 00:05:21,859 It's still good. 56 00:05:22,035 --> 00:05:25,027 You'll never get anywhere treating your helmet like a lunch box. 57 00:05:25,205 --> 00:05:27,173 - What is that? - Cheetos. 58 00:05:27,341 --> 00:05:29,673 - Crunchy or puffed? - Puffed. 59 00:05:29,843 --> 00:05:30,832 Wimp. 60 00:05:31,011 --> 00:05:33,206 Everyone from here over, go with Coach Butz. 61 00:05:33,680 --> 00:05:35,910 Everyone from here over, come with me. 62 00:05:36,183 --> 00:05:38,845 - Come on! - Let's find out who's gonna make this team. 63 00:05:39,019 --> 00:05:41,647 - My mom made that! - Move it. 64 00:05:41,822 --> 00:05:43,483 Set. Go. 65 00:05:46,860 --> 00:05:48,384 Set. Go. 66 00:05:52,499 --> 00:05:53,659 Go. 67 00:05:55,802 --> 00:05:58,566 - Oh, man. - Next time. 68 00:05:58,739 --> 00:06:03,233 - Fifth one he's booted. - Hands like frying pans. Set. Go. 69 00:06:05,846 --> 00:06:08,110 Why are you doing this to me, fellas? 70 00:06:08,282 --> 00:06:12,343 I cut your nails, wash you, put gloves on you when you're cold. 71 00:06:12,519 --> 00:06:15,682 Hey, Hanon, you ever catch anything? Ever? 72 00:06:15,856 --> 00:06:18,882 Caught a cold yesterday, Murph. Here, have some. 73 00:06:19,059 --> 00:06:22,358 Gross. Gross. Get off of me, you little dork. 74 00:06:22,829 --> 00:06:24,262 Speed: 75 00:06:24,598 --> 00:06:28,728 The distance gained divided by the time of travel. 76 00:06:28,902 --> 00:06:31,962 You clowns want to play football, you gotta move. 77 00:06:32,139 --> 00:06:33,606 Ready. 78 00:06:38,779 --> 00:06:41,612 Come on, Tad. Go, Tad. Come on. Dig. 79 00:06:43,950 --> 00:06:46,942 What is this, a telethon? Ready. 80 00:06:58,098 --> 00:06:59,258 Next. 81 00:07:03,804 --> 00:07:06,932 Eight point five. Excellent, Briggs. 82 00:07:07,874 --> 00:07:10,775 - How did I do? - I don't know. I don't have a sundial. 83 00:07:10,944 --> 00:07:12,434 Back in line. 84 00:07:12,612 --> 00:07:15,103 Hey, Icebox... 85 00:07:15,282 --> 00:07:18,683 ...you look like a boy and play like a boy. 86 00:07:18,852 --> 00:07:20,217 Do you pee standing up? 87 00:07:20,387 --> 00:07:23,254 No, when she's hot to trot she's still gotta squat. 88 00:07:23,857 --> 00:07:28,590 - Get off. I can't breathe! - That's the whole point. 89 00:07:30,364 --> 00:07:32,696 - Becky, let him go. - I can't breathe. 90 00:07:32,866 --> 00:07:35,300 - Get away. Come on. Get off! - Let him go. 91 00:07:35,469 --> 00:07:37,664 - Let me go. - Please, stop. 92 00:07:38,972 --> 00:07:40,837 You're lucky my dad showed up. 93 00:07:45,178 --> 00:07:47,112 - Hi, Danny. - Hi. 94 00:07:47,280 --> 00:07:49,373 - Hey, guys. - Hi, Dan. 95 00:07:49,549 --> 00:07:53,645 Hey, guess what, Uncle Dan? I got the whole headlock thing on tape. 96 00:07:53,820 --> 00:07:56,948 - Here, wanna see? - No, that's okay. Thanks. 97 00:07:57,124 --> 00:08:00,184 - How's she doing? - She's the best one out there. 98 00:08:07,534 --> 00:08:09,263 You know... 99 00:08:10,604 --> 00:08:14,199 ...today I'm reminded of what a lucky guy I am. 100 00:08:15,709 --> 00:08:18,371 Lucky to have been born an O'Shea. 101 00:08:20,647 --> 00:08:23,207 Lucky to have been born in this great town. 102 00:08:23,383 --> 00:08:25,908 Lucky to have been blessed with abilities... 103 00:08:26,086 --> 00:08:30,216 ...that allowed me to bring something back here to Urbania... 104 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:31,755 ...my town. 105 00:08:31,925 --> 00:08:34,325 - Things like: - Three high school championships. 106 00:08:34,494 --> 00:08:37,725 - Three high school championships. - A collegiate championship. 107 00:08:37,898 --> 00:08:40,696 - A collegiate title. - An all-American title. 108 00:08:40,867 --> 00:08:43,433 An all-American title. And not to mention... 109 00:08:43,434 --> 00:08:45,600 And not to mention a Heisman Trophy. 110 00:08:46,039 --> 00:08:47,438 ...a Heisman Trophy. 111 00:08:53,880 --> 00:08:55,347 Today, I'm even more lucky... 112 00:08:55,515 --> 00:08:59,349 ...because there's one more thing I can bring back to this town: 113 00:08:59,853 --> 00:09:02,014 A Peewee State Championship. 114 00:09:02,189 --> 00:09:03,622 Yeah! 115 00:09:12,032 --> 00:09:13,522 All right. All right. 116 00:09:16,470 --> 00:09:19,030 Now, when you hear your name called... 117 00:09:19,206 --> 00:09:21,640 ...I want you to go over to Coach Butz... 118 00:09:21,808 --> 00:09:23,207 ...and pick up your jersey. 119 00:09:23,510 --> 00:09:27,310 - Those jerseys are so cool. - Dibs on Montana's number. 120 00:09:27,481 --> 00:09:30,450 I'm getting Michael Irvin's number, the big 8-8. 121 00:09:30,617 --> 00:09:32,585 I just want one of those shirts. 122 00:09:33,320 --> 00:09:35,914 - Briggs. - Yeah! 123 00:09:36,723 --> 00:09:38,691 - Patterson. - Yes! 124 00:09:38,859 --> 00:09:40,520 - Hoffs. - Yeah. 125 00:09:40,694 --> 00:09:43,458 - Lewis. - Yeah. 126 00:09:43,630 --> 00:09:45,063 Bookman. 127 00:09:46,500 --> 00:09:49,162 - Grabelski. - Grabelski! 128 00:09:49,336 --> 00:09:51,770 - Rivera. - Rivera! 129 00:09:51,972 --> 00:09:55,533 - Scanlon. - Scanlon, my man. 130 00:09:55,709 --> 00:09:58,269 - Parkhurst. - Yes. 131 00:10:00,080 --> 00:10:02,844 - Walker. - Yeah. 132 00:10:03,016 --> 00:10:05,849 - Lindemann. - Yeah. 133 00:10:06,253 --> 00:10:07,982 - Beauregard. - Yeah. 134 00:10:08,154 --> 00:10:09,815 Gibbs. 135 00:10:11,191 --> 00:10:13,989 - Grieson. - Yes! 136 00:10:16,062 --> 00:10:17,689 And last but not least... 137 00:10:18,565 --> 00:10:21,261 ...the backbone of this team... 138 00:10:22,769 --> 00:10:26,034 ...Shawn Murphy. - Yes! I knew it, Becky! 139 00:10:26,206 --> 00:10:29,835 Yes, thank you! I knew it! 140 00:10:36,583 --> 00:10:38,016 Now... 141 00:10:38,351 --> 00:10:39,818 ...for the rest of you... 142 00:10:41,421 --> 00:10:43,446 ...I'd like to say... 143 00:10:43,823 --> 00:10:45,484 Well, I just... 144 00:10:45,659 --> 00:10:48,685 I'd like to thank you for trying out. 145 00:10:48,862 --> 00:10:53,856 And I want you to remember, hey, there's always next year. 146 00:10:56,570 --> 00:10:59,198 All right. Go. 147 00:11:13,620 --> 00:11:15,087 Okay. 148 00:11:16,890 --> 00:11:20,485 Well, I think this really sucks. 149 00:11:21,761 --> 00:11:24,992 I guess there's nothing we can learn from this. Is there? 150 00:11:25,165 --> 00:11:27,963 Never try out for anything again. 151 00:11:46,987 --> 00:11:48,887 - Take her easy, coach. - Hey, Ross. 152 00:11:49,189 --> 00:11:50,713 Kevin. 153 00:11:50,890 --> 00:11:54,758 - What the hell are you doing? - I'm putting together a championship team. 154 00:11:54,928 --> 00:11:56,862 Did you see the faces of the other kids? 155 00:11:57,030 --> 00:12:00,329 Football isn't about faces. It's about speed, about talent. 156 00:12:00,500 --> 00:12:03,526 I picked the best. Besides, I only got three weeks. 157 00:12:03,703 --> 00:12:06,399 - I can't waste my time with... - Losers. 158 00:12:06,806 --> 00:12:09,639 - Butz. - Who the hell are you, Vince Lombardi? 159 00:12:10,110 --> 00:12:11,702 This is peewee football. 160 00:12:11,878 --> 00:12:15,575 - Every kid should have a chance to play. - Not on this team. 161 00:12:16,650 --> 00:12:19,244 What about Becky? She's better than those boys. 162 00:12:19,419 --> 00:12:22,115 I hate to break it to you, but Icebox is a girl. 163 00:12:22,288 --> 00:12:24,779 If you treat her like a girl, she'll act like one. 164 00:12:24,958 --> 00:12:29,292 - Don't tell me how to raise my daughter. - Don't tell me how to pick my squad. 165 00:12:29,829 --> 00:12:32,161 Way to go, Kevin. You hurt their feelings. 166 00:12:32,332 --> 00:12:34,766 - Danny... - You hurt their feelings. 167 00:12:34,934 --> 00:12:37,368 You and I both know those kids can't cut it. 168 00:12:37,537 --> 00:12:40,870 What am I supposed to do, lie to them? Build up their hopes? 169 00:12:41,041 --> 00:12:43,475 Trust me. It's better this way. 170 00:12:43,943 --> 00:12:46,571 You'll thank me tomorrow. 171 00:12:48,081 --> 00:12:50,845 I knew you'd see it my way. 172 00:13:11,438 --> 00:13:14,601 God bless family, friends... 173 00:13:14,774 --> 00:13:19,040 ...flowers, Nickelodeon, all the little kitties... 174 00:13:19,245 --> 00:13:24,706 ...PEZ, Mr. Lorenzo, the school janitor... His ears are so hairy. 175 00:13:24,884 --> 00:13:26,886 He's an unfortunate man, Priscilla. 176 00:13:26,887 --> 00:13:30,288 God bless Daddy's favorite sport, football. 177 00:13:30,457 --> 00:13:31,446 - Amen. - Amen, baby. 178 00:13:31,624 --> 00:13:33,615 - Amen. - Dig in. 179 00:13:33,893 --> 00:13:36,953 I still don't understand why you didn't pick Becky. 180 00:13:37,130 --> 00:13:39,826 - Yes, you do, Karen. - It's not good enough, Kevin. 181 00:13:39,999 --> 00:13:43,958 She's your niece, and she's one of the best players out there. 182 00:13:44,137 --> 00:13:47,834 - Yeah, and she can make boys cry. - Honey, she's a girl. 183 00:13:48,007 --> 00:13:50,271 And girls can run countries... 184 00:13:50,443 --> 00:13:53,879 ...they can sit on the Supreme Court, they can discover radium... 185 00:13:54,280 --> 00:13:56,373 ...but they can't play peewee football. 186 00:13:56,549 --> 00:13:58,676 - Correct. - Oh, Kevin. 187 00:13:58,852 --> 00:14:02,686 All right. Maybe I went a little too far. Maybe I've been a little... 188 00:14:02,856 --> 00:14:06,724 - Pigheaded? Chauvinistic, maybe. - All right. You proved your point. 189 00:14:06,893 --> 00:14:09,487 I think Becky should be involved with the team. 190 00:14:09,829 --> 00:14:11,524 - Really? - Yeah, or any girl. 191 00:14:11,698 --> 00:14:14,667 Debbie, get your friends. I need girls with spirit. 192 00:14:14,834 --> 00:14:18,326 - I need pom-poms. I need cheerleaders! - Yes! 193 00:14:22,742 --> 00:14:25,540 I hate not being picked. 194 00:14:27,714 --> 00:14:29,045 Hey, I got an idea. 195 00:14:29,215 --> 00:14:32,082 Why don't we go put some mud tires on the go-cart? 196 00:14:32,252 --> 00:14:35,483 - I don't want to. - All right. Forget the tires. 197 00:14:35,655 --> 00:14:39,591 How about if we go camping in the woods, huh? Make moose sounds? 198 00:14:40,860 --> 00:14:42,885 Forget the moose sounds. 199 00:14:43,062 --> 00:14:45,030 Listen, Beck... 200 00:14:45,598 --> 00:14:50,126 ...remember when Mom said that she was gonna have to do what was best for her? 201 00:14:51,171 --> 00:14:55,699 Well, when she chose to leave us she was kind of making a choice for us too. 202 00:14:55,875 --> 00:15:00,403 I mean, in a way, it gave us a chance to get real close, you and me. Right? 203 00:15:01,815 --> 00:15:05,080 When Uncle Kevin didn't pick you it was the same thing... 204 00:15:05,251 --> 00:15:08,243 ...because, in a way, he freed you up for something else. 205 00:15:08,588 --> 00:15:11,921 Or to do something different where you could do the picking. 206 00:15:12,091 --> 00:15:13,581 Dad... 207 00:15:13,760 --> 00:15:15,660 ...I just wanna play football. 208 00:15:17,030 --> 00:15:20,727 Hey, sweetie, if I had a football team, I'd pick you. 209 00:15:32,879 --> 00:15:35,643 We never get picked for anything. 210 00:15:35,915 --> 00:15:39,681 - Life stinks. - Yeah, there goes my shot at the pros. 211 00:15:39,853 --> 00:15:41,787 I'm gonna have to be a senator. 212 00:15:41,955 --> 00:15:45,322 Here's a kiss for Murphy and one for Patterson and Briggs. 213 00:15:54,467 --> 00:15:58,164 Zol-fart, what kind of road kill did your mom feed you last night? 214 00:15:58,338 --> 00:15:59,769 Free-range skunk. 215 00:15:59,770 --> 00:16:02,001 This is a private establishment, gentlemen. 216 00:16:02,575 --> 00:16:04,338 Yeah, scram. 217 00:16:05,612 --> 00:16:09,912 - Please? - I'm hurt. I'm really hurt. 218 00:16:10,083 --> 00:16:14,281 Yeah, we just came by to tell you guys how incredibly sorry we are... 219 00:16:14,454 --> 00:16:16,479 ...that you didn't make the team. 220 00:16:16,656 --> 00:16:18,055 Not! 221 00:16:25,498 --> 00:16:27,363 The Icebox! 222 00:16:30,136 --> 00:16:32,536 - Let's get out of here. - Go! 223 00:17:34,667 --> 00:17:36,862 Sure. Big shot on the go-cart. 224 00:17:37,503 --> 00:17:39,835 I'd give anything to get you on the field. 225 00:17:40,006 --> 00:17:42,089 Don't worry, Murph. You'll get your chance. 226 00:17:42,090 --> 00:17:43,373 Yeah, sure. 227 00:17:43,543 --> 00:17:46,307 You and your spaz patrol didn't make the team. 228 00:17:46,479 --> 00:17:48,811 Well, I got a little news flash for you. 229 00:17:48,982 --> 00:17:53,442 We started our own team, and we're gonna kick your Cowboy butts. 230 00:17:53,619 --> 00:17:56,315 If you got a team, who's your coach? 231 00:17:56,489 --> 00:17:58,252 My dad. 232 00:17:58,891 --> 00:18:01,086 Your dad? 233 00:18:12,305 --> 00:18:15,570 There are few times in a man's life when he can howl at the moon. 234 00:18:15,742 --> 00:18:19,405 When he gets married, when he scores the winning touchdown in a game... 235 00:18:19,645 --> 00:18:22,375 ...and when he buys his first Chevy. Congratulations. 236 00:18:22,548 --> 00:18:25,108 - Thanks, Mr. O'Shea. - Butz. 237 00:18:28,688 --> 00:18:31,418 - I'm going to lunch. You wanna surprise me? - Yeah. 238 00:18:31,591 --> 00:18:34,822 - Sell a car. - Okay. Sure. 239 00:18:53,613 --> 00:18:57,879 We're down by six points. It's third and goal, two seconds left. 240 00:18:58,051 --> 00:19:00,383 I've been hit so many times I can't see. 241 00:19:00,553 --> 00:19:04,353 I'm busted up. I'm bleeding. I'm so bruised I look like a code blue. 242 00:19:04,524 --> 00:19:07,322 - Two seconds? Thought it was four. - Swore it was three. 243 00:19:07,493 --> 00:19:12,453 Believe me. It was two seconds. Now the crowd in the stadium is going nuts. 244 00:19:12,632 --> 00:19:15,863 - All eyes are on me. I know... - Howdy, gents. 245 00:19:16,536 --> 00:19:17,969 Already voted, mayor. 246 00:19:19,105 --> 00:19:23,371 O'Shea, I got my tail in a trap. We gotta talk. 247 00:19:23,543 --> 00:19:26,535 Excuse me, boys. A little peewee business. 248 00:19:27,346 --> 00:19:29,246 Four seconds. 249 00:19:29,415 --> 00:19:32,407 To hell with the time, you don't know what year it is. 250 00:19:32,585 --> 00:19:33,711 No. 251 00:19:33,886 --> 00:19:37,287 I'm feeling kind of foolish, son. 252 00:19:37,457 --> 00:19:38,754 Maybe it's the tie. 253 00:19:40,193 --> 00:19:44,027 Never mind the tie. Now, we got a turd in the punch bowl. 254 00:19:44,197 --> 00:19:45,289 What? 255 00:19:45,465 --> 00:19:48,866 I got Urbania in the Pop Warner league by telling everybody... 256 00:19:49,035 --> 00:19:51,868 ...that the great Kevin O'Shea was gonna be coaching. 257 00:19:52,038 --> 00:19:54,666 - Yeah? - I just got a phone call. 258 00:19:54,841 --> 00:19:57,674 It seems there's two teams in this town. 259 00:19:57,844 --> 00:19:59,471 Who's coaching the other one? 260 00:19:59,645 --> 00:20:02,011 Hey, fellas. Good morning, Louise. 261 00:20:02,181 --> 00:20:04,240 How you doing, champ? 262 00:20:08,488 --> 00:20:09,853 - Dad. - Hi. 263 00:20:10,022 --> 00:20:11,649 I gotta tell you something. 264 00:20:11,824 --> 00:20:15,692 Me and the guys, we're forming our own football team. Love you a lot. 265 00:20:15,862 --> 00:20:18,126 You trying to make me look like an idiot? 266 00:20:18,297 --> 00:20:21,095 Where do you come off trying to put together a team? 267 00:20:21,267 --> 00:20:25,294 I mean, what makes you think that you could coach football? 268 00:20:30,476 --> 00:20:33,172 - I just heard about this... - I don't want to hear it. 269 00:20:33,346 --> 00:20:37,442 No, Danny. You can't coach football. Hell, you couldn't even play. 270 00:20:37,617 --> 00:20:40,745 - Whose fault was that? - It wasn't my fault. 271 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:43,946 Who said life was fair? Some of us run for touchdowns... 272 00:20:44,123 --> 00:20:45,886 ...some of us run the projector. 273 00:20:46,058 --> 00:20:49,789 - I ran the class projector. - I'm sure you were a great projectionist. 274 00:20:49,962 --> 00:20:52,863 Danny, listen, guys like you and kids like that... 275 00:20:53,032 --> 00:20:56,593 They can't help that they're no good, but they learn things. 276 00:20:56,769 --> 00:20:59,829 I mean they invent things. They win Nobel Prizes. 277 00:21:00,006 --> 00:21:04,602 Einstein. Could he catch? Did anybody care? No. 278 00:21:04,844 --> 00:21:07,074 Danny, listen to me. Listen to me. 279 00:21:07,246 --> 00:21:10,340 These things that you do with the kids, they're great. 280 00:21:10,516 --> 00:21:12,347 I think they're admirable. 281 00:21:12,518 --> 00:21:16,750 You want to start a chess club, a little nature walk class? This is fine. 282 00:21:18,858 --> 00:21:20,485 So let me get this straight. 283 00:21:20,660 --> 00:21:23,356 It's okay with you if I do something with the kids? 284 00:21:23,529 --> 00:21:24,962 Sure. 285 00:21:25,565 --> 00:21:28,125 - But not football. - Exactly. 286 00:21:28,734 --> 00:21:31,362 I knew you'd see it my way. 287 00:21:31,537 --> 00:21:33,004 - No, I don't. - Pardon me? 288 00:21:33,172 --> 00:21:34,696 I don't see it your way. 289 00:21:35,274 --> 00:21:39,108 I've really never seen it your way. I hate your way. 290 00:21:39,278 --> 00:21:41,838 - Now what's gotten into you? - I'll tell you. 291 00:21:42,014 --> 00:21:45,450 You've gotten into me, and I'm sick of it. 292 00:21:47,720 --> 00:21:51,588 - We're forming our own team. - League rules state: One town. One team. 293 00:21:51,757 --> 00:21:53,884 - You can't have two. - Have a playoff. 294 00:21:54,060 --> 00:21:58,224 That's a great idea, Wilbur. How about it, fellas? 295 00:21:58,397 --> 00:22:00,331 How about it? 296 00:22:00,499 --> 00:22:03,366 Two Saturdays from today, meet me at half-court. 297 00:22:03,536 --> 00:22:06,733 It's the 50-yard line, Dad. 298 00:22:09,242 --> 00:22:10,504 Danny... 299 00:22:11,677 --> 00:22:13,372 ...you don't stand a chance. 300 00:22:13,813 --> 00:22:16,213 We just want to play. 301 00:22:19,552 --> 00:22:21,577 Yeah! 302 00:22:28,394 --> 00:22:31,022 Where are we gonna find anybody for the team? 303 00:22:31,197 --> 00:22:33,791 Someone who's good, not at basketball, but like... 304 00:22:33,966 --> 00:22:36,025 Are you guys kidding me? 305 00:22:44,277 --> 00:22:46,108 Nothing but glass. 306 00:22:46,279 --> 00:22:47,746 You want to play football? 307 00:22:47,913 --> 00:22:51,007 Mr. O'Shea, I have an aversion to pain and suffering. 308 00:22:51,183 --> 00:22:53,981 Nubie, I'm not talking about setting foot on the field. 309 00:22:54,153 --> 00:22:58,954 I need somebody to help me coach, you know, to come up with some plays. 310 00:22:59,825 --> 00:23:01,292 What kind of plays? 311 00:23:02,995 --> 00:23:04,724 Creative plays. 312 00:23:05,031 --> 00:23:06,794 Anything goes? 313 00:23:09,035 --> 00:23:10,764 Use your imagination. 314 00:23:14,607 --> 00:23:15,596 I'm in. 315 00:23:20,780 --> 00:23:22,975 - You ever played football? - No. 316 00:23:23,149 --> 00:23:25,515 - Do you like football? - No. 317 00:23:25,685 --> 00:23:27,550 - You want to play football? - No. 318 00:23:27,720 --> 00:23:29,381 Great. You can be on our team. 319 00:23:36,562 --> 00:23:38,996 Yes, that's right, flight 45. 320 00:23:39,165 --> 00:23:42,134 - Dad. - I'll see you Tuesday, son. 321 00:23:42,301 --> 00:23:44,963 Yeah, the flight gets in at 9:00. Don't worry. 322 00:23:58,351 --> 00:24:00,046 What about him? 323 00:24:00,219 --> 00:24:01,743 Hey. 324 00:24:07,960 --> 00:24:10,929 Merry Christmas, everybody. 325 00:24:12,264 --> 00:24:14,232 Look at this. 326 00:24:14,433 --> 00:24:17,027 There's more stuff over here. Give me a hand. 327 00:24:19,638 --> 00:24:22,471 Careful with this. Some of these are antiques. 328 00:24:26,345 --> 00:24:29,508 Timmy, I'm not sure, but I don't think that goes there. 329 00:24:29,682 --> 00:24:32,879 Guys, a lot of this equipment has been used before. 330 00:24:37,957 --> 00:24:40,118 It's a mom! 331 00:24:44,997 --> 00:24:48,626 Excuse me, coach? Hi, Mr. O'Shea. I'm Cheryl Berman. 332 00:24:48,801 --> 00:24:52,100 I'm sorry Jake's late, but I took him to see Dr. Harding. 333 00:24:52,271 --> 00:24:55,365 He sneezed three times this morning and had me worried. 334 00:24:55,541 --> 00:24:57,031 You can't be too cautious. 335 00:24:57,209 --> 00:25:01,908 We never thought we'd have children, not after 13 years. It was me. 336 00:25:02,081 --> 00:25:04,879 When I got pregnant the doctor ordered me to bed. 337 00:25:05,050 --> 00:25:07,814 I spent nine miserable months on my back. 338 00:25:07,987 --> 00:25:12,151 If I'd rolled over, I could've lost him. And the birth, God only knows the pain. 339 00:25:12,324 --> 00:25:16,852 He weighed only 1 pound, 11 ounces. He spent six weeks in an incubator. 340 00:25:17,029 --> 00:25:20,260 And I think football is just the medicine for him. 341 00:25:23,135 --> 00:25:25,831 My shrink told her I gotta get out more. 342 00:25:27,440 --> 00:25:30,375 - I think he's gonna be fine. - Oh, okay. 343 00:25:42,221 --> 00:25:43,347 Cool. 344 00:25:45,057 --> 00:25:46,615 Thanks. I needed that. 345 00:25:49,228 --> 00:25:50,786 Let's kick some butt. 346 00:25:50,963 --> 00:25:54,660 - I don't know but I've been told - Butz's butt is green with mold 347 00:25:54,834 --> 00:25:58,895 - You say thank you, I say please - Kevin sits down when he pees 348 00:26:07,112 --> 00:26:09,603 Looking good. Real good. 349 00:26:10,916 --> 00:26:13,885 All right. Let's stretch it out. Come on. 350 00:27:02,234 --> 00:27:04,464 He throws. It's up. 351 00:27:07,139 --> 00:27:11,303 Yeah! Touchdown! 352 00:27:23,622 --> 00:27:26,785 - What a throw. - What a find. 353 00:27:26,959 --> 00:27:30,451 What a hunk. Wait a minute. 354 00:27:30,996 --> 00:27:32,861 What am I saying? 355 00:27:33,032 --> 00:27:34,966 I'm the Icebox. 356 00:27:35,134 --> 00:27:38,069 The Icebox doesn't like boys... 357 00:27:38,737 --> 00:27:40,568 ...except for that one. 358 00:27:44,877 --> 00:27:48,005 Hey, buddy, catch this. 359 00:27:48,814 --> 00:27:50,714 - He caught it. - Good catch. 360 00:27:51,116 --> 00:27:53,607 Nice arm. 361 00:27:54,386 --> 00:27:56,217 - Junior Floyd. - I'm Hanon. 362 00:27:56,388 --> 00:27:57,650 - Zolteck. - What's up? 363 00:27:57,823 --> 00:27:59,415 - I'm Tad. - Cool. 364 00:28:00,826 --> 00:28:05,160 - You wanna play some football? - Yeah, let's see that arm again. 365 00:28:11,203 --> 00:28:12,500 Where is he? 366 00:28:12,671 --> 00:28:14,502 Hey, you. 367 00:28:23,782 --> 00:28:25,215 Hi. 368 00:28:27,953 --> 00:28:31,980 Dad, don't tell jokes. You can't tell jokes. You never could tell jokes. 369 00:28:32,157 --> 00:28:34,853 I'm gonna ask his mother if he can play football. 370 00:28:35,027 --> 00:28:38,019 I can't go in there. I'd look like a geek. 371 00:28:38,197 --> 00:28:41,724 This doesn't sound like you. You got a crush on this guy? 372 00:28:41,900 --> 00:28:46,098 I'm the Icebox. I don't get crushes. 373 00:28:52,044 --> 00:28:53,705 Oh, my God. There he is. 374 00:28:53,879 --> 00:28:56,643 - He is so cute. - Relax. 375 00:29:00,019 --> 00:29:02,783 - You didn't tell me his mother's Patty Floyd. - So? What's the difference? 376 00:29:02,955 --> 00:29:05,355 I knew her when I was a kid. I had a thing... 377 00:29:05,524 --> 00:29:08,049 - Would you get a grip? - Me? You get a grip. 378 00:29:08,627 --> 00:29:11,391 - One of us has gotta knock on that door. - You. 379 00:29:11,563 --> 00:29:14,088 - We need a quarterback. Do it. - No, you do it. 380 00:29:18,103 --> 00:29:21,300 Hey. You traitor! 381 00:29:29,915 --> 00:29:32,110 Hi. Can I? 382 00:29:35,220 --> 00:29:37,347 - Danny? - Hi. 383 00:29:38,457 --> 00:29:42,257 - Danny O'Shea, how are you? - Fine. Really good. 384 00:29:42,428 --> 00:29:45,397 - Well, come on in. - Sure. 385 00:29:53,038 --> 00:29:54,665 Ready. 386 00:29:55,040 --> 00:29:56,371 Go. 387 00:30:01,947 --> 00:30:05,610 - Man, what an arm. - Ready. Go. 388 00:30:32,511 --> 00:30:36,208 Hanon, nice try. All right, guys. Let's give it another shot. 389 00:30:36,381 --> 00:30:38,542 Use your hands. 390 00:30:39,051 --> 00:30:42,987 Ready. Go! 391 00:30:45,324 --> 00:30:48,725 Oh, good catch, guys. Good catch! 392 00:30:50,062 --> 00:30:53,225 My mom says the pads you gave me weren't enough. 393 00:30:59,972 --> 00:31:01,462 Push him. 394 00:31:05,444 --> 00:31:07,503 Hey, this is great. Keep it up. 395 00:31:07,679 --> 00:31:08,703 I don't feel a... 396 00:31:11,917 --> 00:31:15,080 - Jake? - Jake? 397 00:31:25,030 --> 00:31:28,557 - He will never do it. - They've done it already. 398 00:31:28,734 --> 00:31:30,531 - Make your bet. - Make your bet. 399 00:31:30,702 --> 00:31:33,933 If these boys don't win, I sweep the shop for three weeks. 400 00:31:34,106 --> 00:31:37,371 It's gonna be a landslide, and I'll say it again. 401 00:31:37,543 --> 00:31:40,058 If they don't win, I'll sweep it for a month. 402 00:31:40,059 --> 00:31:40,944 Good. 403 00:31:41,113 --> 00:31:43,809 - You got witnesses. Understand? - Remember this. 404 00:31:43,982 --> 00:31:45,779 Stand like this. Come on in. 405 00:31:45,951 --> 00:31:49,648 It's a huddle. Huddle, Latin for round. Turn around. There you go. 406 00:31:49,822 --> 00:31:53,883 Communication is the key. I signal the quarterback with the play. 407 00:31:54,059 --> 00:31:58,758 He relates it to you in the huddle. Then, we try it on the field. Okay, let's do it. 408 00:31:59,131 --> 00:32:02,225 Okay, guys. It's a curl out to the fullback on two. 409 00:32:02,401 --> 00:32:05,632 Hey, wait a second. How come we never call a play for me? 410 00:32:05,804 --> 00:32:07,635 - You're a tackle, dip-head. - Hey! 411 00:32:07,806 --> 00:32:10,240 Nobody calls me a dip-head except my sister. 412 00:32:10,409 --> 00:32:12,400 Hey, guys. Guys. Guys, wait! 413 00:32:12,578 --> 00:32:14,603 Guys, I'll run the ball. 414 00:32:14,780 --> 00:32:17,578 You always run the ball. Why can't I run the ball? 415 00:32:17,749 --> 00:32:20,149 Because you're slow and no one likes you. 416 00:32:20,319 --> 00:32:22,287 - Says who? - Everybody says. 417 00:32:22,754 --> 00:32:24,153 - I call the play. - You suck! 418 00:32:24,323 --> 00:32:26,086 I want to run the ball. 419 00:32:26,258 --> 00:32:28,783 - You can't go to my birthday party. - So what? 420 00:32:31,597 --> 00:32:35,260 Okay, guys. That was good for a first time. Let's try it again. 421 00:32:35,434 --> 00:32:37,834 Ready. Go! 422 00:32:42,507 --> 00:32:44,338 Nice pass. Nice catch. 423 00:32:47,679 --> 00:32:48,976 Junior. 424 00:32:55,854 --> 00:32:58,846 Ready. Go! 425 00:33:04,029 --> 00:33:06,623 - Yeah! - Yes! 426 00:33:06,798 --> 00:33:08,390 All right! 427 00:33:11,570 --> 00:33:16,371 Very nice. Okay, from now on, we'll play with this. Put this in the bathroom. 428 00:33:29,154 --> 00:33:32,817 - Good job, Icebox. - Thanks. 429 00:33:32,991 --> 00:33:34,083 Anytime. 430 00:33:38,330 --> 00:33:42,357 - I'll get the quarterback. - Hut one. Hut two. 431 00:33:44,002 --> 00:33:45,993 Got you! 432 00:33:48,340 --> 00:33:51,002 Okay, Icebox. You can get off me. 433 00:33:51,176 --> 00:33:53,770 Oh, sorry. 434 00:33:58,283 --> 00:34:03,277 Gentlemen, that is your opponent. You must defeat her at all costs. 435 00:34:03,455 --> 00:34:05,685 Patterson, Becky is all they've got. 436 00:34:05,857 --> 00:34:08,621 She's strong. I want you to hit her low and hard. 437 00:34:08,794 --> 00:34:10,091 Get in your position. 438 00:34:10,262 --> 00:34:13,288 Head up, butt down. Stick and drive. 439 00:34:13,598 --> 00:34:15,031 Set. Go! 440 00:34:18,070 --> 00:34:22,769 Oh, son. Son, it's a couch cushion. It's a couch cushion, son! 441 00:34:22,941 --> 00:34:25,739 I want you to wrap your arms and drive through it. 442 00:34:25,911 --> 00:34:29,608 - Stand back. Let the master do this. - Let's go, coach! 443 00:34:29,781 --> 00:34:33,217 - Priscilla, I want you to shoot this. - Go for it, Daddy. 444 00:34:34,052 --> 00:34:38,489 Briggs, count it off. 445 00:34:42,127 --> 00:34:43,890 Ready. 446 00:34:44,129 --> 00:34:45,994 Set. Go! 447 00:34:47,566 --> 00:34:48,965 Kevin! 448 00:34:55,574 --> 00:34:58,475 Oh, doctor! 449 00:35:00,779 --> 00:35:02,644 Coach! 450 00:35:02,814 --> 00:35:04,145 Daddy! 451 00:35:09,721 --> 00:35:13,748 If there's gonna be pee wee football in Urbania, everybody's gonna play. 452 00:35:13,925 --> 00:35:19,090 Big round of applause for the Little Giants. 453 00:35:22,434 --> 00:35:24,766 She's buff. She's bad. 454 00:35:24,936 --> 00:35:29,270 She's Becky "The Icebox" O'Shea. 455 00:35:30,509 --> 00:35:35,845 All right. Let's give it up for "Rad" Tad Simpson. 456 00:35:41,019 --> 00:35:45,718 Rudy Zolteck, your neighborhood-friendly gasman. 457 00:35:48,160 --> 00:35:50,287 Gasman? I don't get it. 458 00:35:50,462 --> 00:35:51,793 Think about it. 459 00:35:51,963 --> 00:35:55,797 Here's Rasheed "Hot Hands" Hanon! 460 00:36:00,872 --> 00:36:05,639 Say hello to Timmy "I Wanna Score" Moore. 461 00:36:11,249 --> 00:36:13,046 - Thanks for coming. - That was great. 462 00:36:13,218 --> 00:36:15,652 - I want a copy of that. - You got it. 463 00:36:15,821 --> 00:36:18,984 Johnny, I thought I was gonna meet your dad tonight. 464 00:36:19,157 --> 00:36:23,150 He's got business and stuff. See you, coach. 465 00:36:23,328 --> 00:36:25,387 - I'll see you. - Bye. 466 00:36:25,564 --> 00:36:28,226 Well, the dip sucked. 467 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,164 But bottom line, you're okay, Coach O'Shea. 468 00:36:31,336 --> 00:36:33,167 Thanks, Junior. 469 00:36:33,338 --> 00:36:36,569 Do you have time to get me your brother's autograph? 470 00:36:36,741 --> 00:36:39,835 Oh, let's go. 471 00:36:40,679 --> 00:36:42,977 - This was such a blast. - It was nothing. 472 00:36:43,148 --> 00:36:46,015 No, you're doing an amazing job with those kids. 473 00:36:46,184 --> 00:36:50,245 All that time I knew you, I had no idea that you would be like this. 474 00:36:50,422 --> 00:36:52,720 - Well, I was 11. - Yeah. 475 00:36:52,891 --> 00:36:55,189 I guess I've changed. 476 00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:57,521 Yeah, I guess you're right. 477 00:36:57,696 --> 00:36:58,720 Have I changed? 478 00:36:59,197 --> 00:37:02,860 Well, you're taller, and you have your driver's license. 479 00:37:03,034 --> 00:37:08,597 And to be honest with you, your face is exactly as I remember it. 480 00:37:09,374 --> 00:37:11,774 Come on, Mom. 481 00:37:13,778 --> 00:37:15,541 Good night, Danny. 482 00:37:15,714 --> 00:37:17,614 See you, coach. 483 00:37:17,782 --> 00:37:20,615 Good night, you guys. Sleep tightly. 484 00:37:20,785 --> 00:37:22,446 Tightly? 485 00:37:22,621 --> 00:37:24,555 Dumb. 486 00:37:24,956 --> 00:37:27,754 Okay, let's clean it up. 487 00:37:30,462 --> 00:37:32,896 There he goes. 488 00:37:33,732 --> 00:37:35,791 I love this. Wait, wait, wait. 489 00:37:37,736 --> 00:37:41,968 Hey, Karen, how many times you gonna watch this? It's making me nauseous. 490 00:37:42,140 --> 00:37:43,129 You kill me. 491 00:37:43,308 --> 00:37:47,142 No, Mom. Mom, let's calm down. Let's calm down. 492 00:37:47,312 --> 00:37:51,476 You know, I was only trying to make a point that Becky's all they got... 493 00:37:51,650 --> 00:37:54,414 ...and to win, we've gotta neutralize her. 494 00:37:54,586 --> 00:37:57,111 Wait, wait, wait. What about Junior? 495 00:37:59,291 --> 00:38:00,280 Who? 496 00:38:03,161 --> 00:38:08,155 Hut one! Hut two! Hut three! 497 00:38:11,503 --> 00:38:13,971 Look at the cannon on that kid. 498 00:38:16,174 --> 00:38:17,971 He's playing for the wrong team. 499 00:38:18,143 --> 00:38:21,340 Hut one! Hut two! Hut three! 500 00:38:25,617 --> 00:38:28,643 - Yeah! - That's the way. All right. Come on back. 501 00:38:33,458 --> 00:38:36,291 That's good, Johnny. Keep your head up. 502 00:38:36,461 --> 00:38:38,622 Spies. 503 00:38:38,797 --> 00:38:42,164 - Where? - In the weeds. 504 00:38:42,867 --> 00:38:45,199 Somebody's a little scared, huh? 505 00:38:46,471 --> 00:38:50,805 Okay. Take a little break. Then, we'll start running the super-secret play. 506 00:38:50,976 --> 00:38:53,069 I'm just gonna get the diagram. 507 00:38:53,812 --> 00:38:55,973 Coach, they're gonna do the super-secret play. 508 00:38:58,141 --> 00:39:01,702 State police? Oh, thank God. This is Thelma May Rogers. 509 00:39:01,878 --> 00:39:03,641 I'm 86. I live in Urbania. 510 00:39:03,813 --> 00:39:07,112 There are two men down the bridge from the Shell station... 511 00:39:07,283 --> 00:39:10,218 ...in the bushes spying on some kids. 512 00:39:10,386 --> 00:39:11,819 We're all so upset. 513 00:39:11,988 --> 00:39:16,322 I don't think men their age should be parading around in their underwear. 514 00:39:16,492 --> 00:39:18,983 Please, hurry. 515 00:39:19,162 --> 00:39:20,424 - Nice going. - Yeah. 516 00:39:21,230 --> 00:39:24,825 This is incredible. They got the guards in the backfield. 517 00:39:25,001 --> 00:39:29,404 They... They got the center to the right, and... 518 00:39:29,572 --> 00:39:32,006 And the quarterback isn't even there. 519 00:39:32,175 --> 00:39:35,235 They're standing around, Butz. 520 00:39:39,015 --> 00:39:40,277 Oh, yeah. 521 00:39:41,584 --> 00:39:43,176 Freeze! 522 00:39:44,654 --> 00:39:47,851 - I'm on a roll, huh? - Your sandwich, dangerous one. 523 00:39:48,024 --> 00:39:51,187 Last night, I go out the window. Today, I'm arrested... 524 00:39:51,360 --> 00:39:54,193 ...handcuffed, humiliated. My own brother! 525 00:39:54,363 --> 00:39:57,025 Imagine how I feel married to a peeping Tom. 526 00:39:57,200 --> 00:39:58,792 That was a brilliant move... 527 00:39:58,968 --> 00:40:01,869 ...calling the state cops instead of the local cops. 528 00:40:02,038 --> 00:40:05,371 I didn't think Danny had it in him. I will get him back. 529 00:40:05,541 --> 00:40:08,772 This could've been avoided if you'd just formed one team. 530 00:40:08,945 --> 00:40:12,711 Don't you understand that the people of this town expect me to win? 531 00:40:12,882 --> 00:40:17,615 - Nobody buys a Chevy from a loser! - Honey, this is peewee football. Remember? 532 00:40:17,787 --> 00:40:20,278 - It's supposed to be fun. - It's not fun anymore. 533 00:40:20,456 --> 00:40:24,916 See, all the fun is gone now. See, now it's war. 534 00:40:25,795 --> 00:40:28,161 Come on. Let's go. Keep moving. 535 00:40:30,700 --> 00:40:32,759 Come on. Make that cut. 536 00:40:34,070 --> 00:40:37,335 Come on. Come on. Protect the ball. Good. Good. 537 00:40:38,741 --> 00:40:41,676 Lift them. Lift those legs. Thattaboy. 538 00:40:42,245 --> 00:40:43,678 Drive, drive, drive! 539 00:40:43,846 --> 00:40:45,814 Come on. Unload on this thing! 540 00:40:48,517 --> 00:40:50,849 Very nice. Looking good. Looking good. 541 00:40:51,020 --> 00:40:54,649 Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. Hit. 542 00:40:54,824 --> 00:40:57,258 That's right, guys. Make them pop. 543 00:40:59,929 --> 00:41:01,590 Yes! 544 00:41:55,384 --> 00:41:58,182 You'll have to put the top up if you want us to wash it. 545 00:41:58,354 --> 00:41:59,981 I didn't come for a car wash. 546 00:42:00,156 --> 00:42:04,718 You're wasting our time with this team. We should concentrate on Sutterville. 547 00:42:04,894 --> 00:42:08,762 Jeez, Dan, you don't even belong on the same field as your brother. 548 00:42:08,931 --> 00:42:11,263 One dollar for the wash, Butz. 549 00:42:11,901 --> 00:42:15,064 You'll just embarrass yourself with them dirt-balls. 550 00:42:15,338 --> 00:42:19,172 Hell, if I was a mama hen and they was my chicks... 551 00:42:19,342 --> 00:42:22,743 ...I'd lead them to water and let them drown. 552 00:42:22,912 --> 00:42:26,075 Harold, you're the tenth car that's come in here today. 553 00:42:26,248 --> 00:42:28,182 You're entitled to a free wash. 554 00:42:28,351 --> 00:42:30,410 Okay, guys. Wash it. 555 00:42:55,044 --> 00:42:58,036 Hey, Junior. 556 00:43:04,954 --> 00:43:06,888 Truce. 557 00:43:08,958 --> 00:43:10,949 No! 558 00:43:13,229 --> 00:43:16,392 Hey, Dan, we're next. 559 00:43:16,565 --> 00:43:18,055 - Hey, Uncle Dan. - Hi, Deb. 560 00:43:18,234 --> 00:43:19,462 - Hi, Junior. - Hey. 561 00:43:19,635 --> 00:43:23,332 Hey, Becky, check it out. My mom got us new uniforms for the game. 562 00:43:23,806 --> 00:43:26,138 - Cool. - I am so jealous of you... 563 00:43:26,308 --> 00:43:30,972 ...being in the huddle with Junior Floyd! Even 12-year-old girls think he's a fox. 564 00:43:31,147 --> 00:43:34,742 - Yeah, well, I really don't notice. - Well, see you. 565 00:43:34,917 --> 00:43:36,407 Yeah. 566 00:43:36,585 --> 00:43:37,745 Hey. Hi, Junior. 567 00:43:37,920 --> 00:43:38,909 What's up? 568 00:43:39,088 --> 00:43:42,489 I wanted to let you know I'm gonna be at the game Saturday. 569 00:43:42,658 --> 00:43:45,684 Hey, Icebox, maybe you should become a cheerleader. 570 00:43:47,997 --> 00:43:49,328 Bubbles and stuff. 571 00:43:53,436 --> 00:43:55,836 Junior! 572 00:43:56,005 --> 00:43:58,530 Hey, don't! 573 00:44:00,342 --> 00:44:01,536 There you go. 574 00:44:21,363 --> 00:44:24,560 Give me a J Give me a U 575 00:44:24,733 --> 00:44:27,327 - Give me an N - Becky! 576 00:44:31,874 --> 00:44:34,536 Hey, I got an idea for a whole new defense. 577 00:44:34,710 --> 00:44:38,976 I read about a monster-back thing where you run around causing destruction. 578 00:44:39,648 --> 00:44:41,980 Are you wearing lipstick? 579 00:44:42,318 --> 00:44:45,378 No. It's a cherry Tootsie Pop. 580 00:44:56,999 --> 00:44:58,432 O'Shea Chevrolet. 581 00:44:58,667 --> 00:45:01,101 I got a hot tip for you, Mr. Heisman. 582 00:45:02,238 --> 00:45:04,263 Butz! 583 00:45:04,507 --> 00:45:08,238 - Go ahead, Orville. I'm listening. - There's a new family in town. 584 00:45:08,410 --> 00:45:11,208 They got a tough 10-year-old. He's a monster. 585 00:45:11,380 --> 00:45:13,245 Now I'm talking real big. 586 00:45:13,415 --> 00:45:14,575 Oh, yeah? How big? 587 00:45:14,750 --> 00:45:16,012 Put it this way. 588 00:45:16,185 --> 00:45:19,120 If he was a trout, you wouldn't throw him back. 589 00:45:19,288 --> 00:45:23,190 - Thanks a lot, buddy. I owe you one. - Thanks. 590 00:45:32,768 --> 00:45:36,033 - Hi, big Jim. - Hey there, Kevin. 591 00:45:40,109 --> 00:45:42,373 Hey, Kev. Where you going? 592 00:45:42,545 --> 00:45:45,207 Just out for a little spin, Danny. 593 00:45:45,381 --> 00:45:46,780 What's with the go-cart? 594 00:45:47,216 --> 00:45:50,242 Becky asked me to check the compression. 595 00:46:01,564 --> 00:46:03,555 - You following me? - No. 596 00:46:05,134 --> 00:46:06,396 You following me? 597 00:46:06,569 --> 00:46:08,469 No. 598 00:46:09,572 --> 00:46:11,938 - Are you lying to me? - No. 599 00:46:13,809 --> 00:46:15,674 He's mine, Danny! Damn it! 600 00:46:15,844 --> 00:46:18,404 Here they come! Danny's in the go-cart. 601 00:46:28,924 --> 00:46:30,755 This whole town may love you... 602 00:46:30,926 --> 00:46:33,759 ...but I'm the only one who knows how sick you are. 603 00:46:33,929 --> 00:46:36,796 - I treated you like a prince. - You ignored me! 604 00:46:36,966 --> 00:46:40,868 - I took you to see the Cleveland Indians. - You left me at the stadium. 605 00:47:04,493 --> 00:47:06,222 Damn it! 606 00:47:26,982 --> 00:47:28,381 Excuse me. 607 00:47:28,550 --> 00:47:30,484 Are you...? 608 00:47:30,653 --> 00:47:33,349 Hey, don't tell me. You're Coach O'Shea. 609 00:47:34,890 --> 00:47:36,517 Yeah, I'm Coach O'Shea. 610 00:47:37,559 --> 00:47:42,053 You're Coach O'Shea! Who am I? Look at this. 611 00:47:43,832 --> 00:47:45,163 Who am I? 612 00:47:45,668 --> 00:47:48,398 Oh, you're remembering my old playing days. 613 00:47:48,570 --> 00:47:50,504 Remembering them? I treasure them. 614 00:47:50,673 --> 00:47:55,042 You're the reason we moved to this town, you and that football league. 615 00:47:55,778 --> 00:48:00,511 You... You look kind of small for a football star. 616 00:48:04,887 --> 00:48:07,412 That's what they all thought. 617 00:48:09,591 --> 00:48:11,252 Yeah. 618 00:48:11,427 --> 00:48:14,055 - So where is your? - His name's Spike. 619 00:48:14,229 --> 00:48:15,753 He's right here. 620 00:48:15,931 --> 00:48:17,364 Hang on a second. Spike! 621 00:48:17,766 --> 00:48:20,030 Come on down here. 622 00:48:21,036 --> 00:48:23,266 I want you to meet Coach O'Shea. 623 00:48:30,112 --> 00:48:33,309 Look at the boy. He was bred for football glory. 624 00:48:33,482 --> 00:48:35,882 The first skin he touched was a pigskin. 625 00:48:36,051 --> 00:48:40,044 Pushing a football across the floor with his head at four months old. 626 00:48:40,222 --> 00:48:44,158 Did his first pull-up when he was 18 months. Give me 10! 627 00:48:45,394 --> 00:48:48,886 Runs a 40 in 6.5 flat. Bench-presses twice his own weight. 628 00:48:49,298 --> 00:48:54,167 Won the 8-year-old division of the pass, punt, run when he was 5 years old. 629 00:48:54,636 --> 00:48:59,972 O'Shea, I've been cultivating him, grooming him. 630 00:49:00,142 --> 00:49:02,406 Every night, before he goes to bed... 631 00:49:02,578 --> 00:49:07,641 ...I massage his hamstrings with evaporated milk. Yeah. 632 00:49:09,752 --> 00:49:11,481 He's quite a boy. 633 00:49:12,054 --> 00:49:13,180 Play to die! 634 00:49:13,489 --> 00:49:15,821 Knees high! Knees high! 635 00:49:16,091 --> 00:49:19,492 Guys, I got great news. 636 00:49:19,928 --> 00:49:21,418 We got a new player. 637 00:49:21,830 --> 00:49:22,922 Mama! 638 00:49:23,098 --> 00:49:25,828 - Who's that? - Looks like a side of beef. 639 00:49:26,001 --> 00:49:28,765 Or a genetics experiment gone terribly wrong. 640 00:49:28,937 --> 00:49:31,167 - Where's his socks? - Where's his neck? 641 00:49:31,340 --> 00:49:32,932 He's bigger than my dad. 642 00:49:33,108 --> 00:49:39,047 Spike's in hell. Spike's in peewee hell. 643 00:49:39,214 --> 00:49:41,148 Guys, Spike's our new tailback. 644 00:49:41,316 --> 00:49:43,944 Now we can run the annexation of Puerto Rico. 645 00:49:44,119 --> 00:49:47,350 - What's that? - I don't know if we're ready for that. 646 00:49:47,523 --> 00:49:53,052 - What formation do you like to run out of? - Power-I. Now, who's Spike's lead blocker? 647 00:49:53,529 --> 00:49:54,621 The Icebox. 648 00:49:54,797 --> 00:49:57,960 - Where's he at? - Right here. 649 00:49:58,367 --> 00:50:02,030 Is Spike mistaken? Aren't you a girl? 650 00:50:02,204 --> 00:50:03,466 Gee, good eye. 651 00:50:03,639 --> 00:50:06,972 - Spike don't play with girls. - She's pretty good, Spike. 652 00:50:07,142 --> 00:50:09,702 Spike don't care. Didn't you hear? 653 00:50:10,045 --> 00:50:11,376 Spike don't play with... 654 00:50:11,980 --> 00:50:15,143 I can tackle anything, anytime, anywhere. Got that? 655 00:50:15,317 --> 00:50:18,650 Look, you berserk-o Barbie doll, when you mess with Spike... 656 00:50:18,821 --> 00:50:22,188 ...you mess with death. - Can you walk the walk? 657 00:50:22,357 --> 00:50:23,381 - Try me! - I will! 658 00:50:23,559 --> 00:50:25,186 - Let's go! - Right now! 659 00:50:25,360 --> 00:50:27,191 Somebody call 911! 660 00:50:27,496 --> 00:50:30,260 All right. Okay. Okay. Hold it. 661 00:50:32,000 --> 00:50:34,400 Becky, wanna get that car for me, please? 662 00:50:34,570 --> 00:50:37,596 Why me? So you can play with this ape? 663 00:50:38,841 --> 00:50:41,674 Can I have a little word with you, please? 664 00:50:46,348 --> 00:50:48,839 Your leg's bigger than my body. 665 00:50:49,017 --> 00:50:52,077 With this guy, we got an actual shot at winning this. 666 00:50:52,254 --> 00:50:56,190 Give me a minute to get him used to the idea of playing with a girl. 667 00:50:56,358 --> 00:50:59,350 You don't think I can take him, do you? 668 00:51:00,762 --> 00:51:03,856 This is a bunch of crap. 669 00:51:22,551 --> 00:51:25,042 - Shirley. - Hi, Kevin. 670 00:51:31,460 --> 00:51:33,951 Icebox not hungry? 671 00:51:34,129 --> 00:51:36,620 Alert the media. 672 00:51:36,965 --> 00:51:41,231 - How you doing, hotshot? - Hey, Louise. Thank you, dear. 673 00:51:44,072 --> 00:51:46,233 Good shot. 674 00:51:46,408 --> 00:51:49,639 - You still mad at me for not picking you? - No. 675 00:51:49,811 --> 00:51:53,076 - I guess you got your own team now. - It's not my team. 676 00:51:53,248 --> 00:51:56,081 It's Spike's team. 677 00:51:57,586 --> 00:52:00,146 Dad's got a big crush on him. 678 00:52:00,322 --> 00:52:02,552 Don't be so hard on the old man. 679 00:52:02,724 --> 00:52:06,251 It can't be easy on him having me as a brother... 680 00:52:06,428 --> 00:52:09,022 ...or you as a daughter. 681 00:52:09,197 --> 00:52:10,926 Very funny. 682 00:52:11,099 --> 00:52:14,000 People like you and me, we're stubborn. 683 00:52:14,169 --> 00:52:17,434 If we don't get our own way, watch out. 684 00:52:17,606 --> 00:52:21,133 When you played football you wanted to kill your coach too? 685 00:52:21,310 --> 00:52:23,972 Hey, you can't fault the guy for trying to win. 686 00:52:24,446 --> 00:52:26,846 He doesn't wanna win. 687 00:52:27,015 --> 00:52:29,449 He wants to prove he's not scared of you. 688 00:52:29,851 --> 00:52:30,943 What do you want? 689 00:52:31,353 --> 00:52:35,119 I thought I wanted to play, but now there's all this other stuff. 690 00:52:35,290 --> 00:52:37,520 What other stuff? 691 00:52:37,693 --> 00:52:40,457 Not football stuff. 692 00:52:42,798 --> 00:52:46,290 Debbie likes Junior, doesn't she? 693 00:52:46,969 --> 00:52:49,233 Does Veronica like Archie? 694 00:52:52,040 --> 00:52:55,168 She's gonna get him. I know it. 695 00:52:55,811 --> 00:52:59,713 You know, she'd probably kill me if she knew I told you this... 696 00:52:59,881 --> 00:53:05,148 ...but you wanna find a boy, you gotta figure out how boys think. 697 00:53:05,320 --> 00:53:09,984 And if this boy's a quarterback, he's probably gonna want some cute girl... 698 00:53:10,158 --> 00:53:11,716 ...not some teammate. 699 00:53:13,495 --> 00:53:15,986 But I don't know about being a cute girl. 700 00:53:16,164 --> 00:53:17,563 I'm good at sports. 701 00:53:17,733 --> 00:53:20,998 Of course you are. You're an O'Shea. 702 00:53:22,070 --> 00:53:26,166 But listen to me. You got a lot more to offer than football. 703 00:53:27,175 --> 00:53:29,109 - A lot more. - You think so? 704 00:53:29,277 --> 00:53:31,507 I know so. 705 00:53:32,347 --> 00:53:34,872 Hey, Uncle Kevin. 706 00:53:37,352 --> 00:53:39,684 Do you think I'm pretty? 707 00:53:39,855 --> 00:53:41,049 No. 708 00:53:43,692 --> 00:53:46,183 I think you're beautiful. 709 00:53:57,873 --> 00:54:00,865 Okay, guys. Let's make this power-I formation work. 710 00:54:01,043 --> 00:54:03,876 - Ready! - Break! 711 00:54:06,948 --> 00:54:09,542 Ready. Set. 712 00:54:09,718 --> 00:54:13,119 Hut one. Hut two! 713 00:54:16,892 --> 00:54:19,622 You call this a team? 714 00:54:20,962 --> 00:54:23,726 Hey, pretty boy, when you hand off to Spike... 715 00:54:23,899 --> 00:54:26,129 ...put it here. Boom! 716 00:54:26,301 --> 00:54:27,893 And you, fat lineman! 717 00:54:28,236 --> 00:54:29,897 You rang? 718 00:54:30,072 --> 00:54:32,563 Get your jellyrolls out of Spike's way... 719 00:54:32,741 --> 00:54:35,437 ...unless you want cleat marks up your fat back. 720 00:54:38,146 --> 00:54:40,137 Spike! 721 00:54:40,816 --> 00:54:43,307 Come get in the car, son. 722 00:54:43,752 --> 00:54:45,014 What's going on? 723 00:54:45,187 --> 00:54:48,645 Oh, no. 724 00:54:49,491 --> 00:54:50,822 You're a Cowboy now. 725 00:54:50,992 --> 00:54:53,358 Thank you, football god. 726 00:54:53,528 --> 00:54:54,654 Where's he going? 727 00:54:54,830 --> 00:54:56,821 So you're a Heisman Trophy winner? 728 00:54:56,998 --> 00:54:59,796 I said I was Coach O'Shea, not Kevin. 729 00:54:59,968 --> 00:55:02,300 You must think you're pretty slick, huh? 730 00:55:02,471 --> 00:55:04,496 I can't wait till tomorrow. 731 00:55:04,673 --> 00:55:07,267 One more day, baby! 732 00:55:07,843 --> 00:55:09,970 One more day. 733 00:55:18,820 --> 00:55:22,278 - Great. Now the other guys have Spike. - We got nothing. 734 00:55:22,457 --> 00:55:24,186 - We got us. - Yeah, we stink! 735 00:55:24,359 --> 00:55:27,522 - Because you can't catch. - At least he can walk. 736 00:55:27,696 --> 00:55:33,032 - Hey, Zolteck, have another Pop-Tart. - Or can't you open your mouth wide enough? 737 00:55:33,201 --> 00:55:36,637 - Come on, that's enough. - Yeah, coach is right. Break it up. 738 00:55:36,805 --> 00:55:39,501 Shut up, Junior. You're so good it makes us sick. 739 00:55:40,041 --> 00:55:45,877 Hey, you don't want me to play? No problemo. I'm out of here. 740 00:55:46,047 --> 00:55:48,880 If it wasn't for him, we wouldn't even have a team. 741 00:55:49,050 --> 00:55:53,578 If it wasn't for him, maybe you'd stop drooling and play a little more football. 742 00:55:53,755 --> 00:55:54,983 Yeah, he's right! 743 00:55:56,124 --> 00:55:58,115 Why can't we all play together? 744 00:55:58,293 --> 00:56:02,161 Oh, shut up, dipstick! You're probably the main reason Spike quit. 745 00:56:02,330 --> 00:56:04,230 Yeah, quit bawling, you big baby. 746 00:56:04,399 --> 00:56:08,665 I can cry if I want. It's a free country. I can even do this. 747 00:56:10,405 --> 00:56:12,373 Nice kick! 748 00:56:15,010 --> 00:56:17,001 Hey, guys, practice isn't over yet. 749 00:56:17,179 --> 00:56:20,012 Who cares? 750 00:56:33,795 --> 00:56:39,529 What's the use? I am a dipstick. I'll never get to play. 751 00:56:41,369 --> 00:56:42,893 Hey, kid, you got a second? 752 00:56:43,071 --> 00:56:46,871 We have to get to a banquet in Canton, where the Hall of Fame is. 753 00:56:47,042 --> 00:56:51,376 And we took a wrong turn somewhere. Look, we started out here on I-7 east. 754 00:56:51,546 --> 00:56:53,912 We're coming across here. We went up 104. 755 00:56:54,082 --> 00:56:58,382 We took the 49. Then we were gonna take shortcuts. We go 10, 12, 48. Hut. 756 00:56:58,553 --> 00:57:01,545 And we have to hit Canton, and we have to hit it hard. 757 00:57:01,723 --> 00:57:03,623 And I don't know where we are! 758 00:57:06,561 --> 00:57:08,552 Guys? 759 00:57:09,397 --> 00:57:10,591 Now what? 760 00:57:10,966 --> 00:57:13,901 Let's play some ball. 761 00:57:17,305 --> 00:57:19,330 - Steve Emtman. - Emmitt Smith. 762 00:57:19,507 --> 00:57:20,997 Tim Brown. 763 00:57:21,176 --> 00:57:23,770 - Bruce Smith. - Emmitt Smith. 764 00:57:29,284 --> 00:57:31,149 Take a shot. Just block me. 765 00:57:33,154 --> 00:57:34,781 Come on. You can do it. 766 00:57:36,258 --> 00:57:37,748 - No way. - Don't be scared. 767 00:57:37,926 --> 00:57:40,224 Run through me. Run through me. Come on. 768 00:57:40,395 --> 00:57:43,421 Get the fear out of your eyes! Let's go! Come on! 769 00:57:49,271 --> 00:57:50,966 Yeah! 770 00:57:53,608 --> 00:57:55,667 All right. All right now. Good job. 771 00:57:55,844 --> 00:58:00,440 Just remember, football's 80%% mental, 40%% physical. 772 00:58:00,782 --> 00:58:02,841 - Right. - Right. 773 00:58:04,352 --> 00:58:05,341 What? 774 00:58:05,687 --> 00:58:08,884 I wasn't always the biggest. I wasn't always the fastest. 775 00:58:09,457 --> 00:58:12,858 I wasn't always the smartest. But I believed within myself... 776 00:58:13,194 --> 00:58:14,684 ...that I was a giant. 777 00:58:14,963 --> 00:58:18,694 He pivots, fakes, chucks the big bomb halfway down the field... 778 00:58:18,867 --> 00:58:21,631 ...to our, hopefully, still wide-open tailback. 779 00:58:21,803 --> 00:58:24,294 I call it the annexation of Puerto Rico. 780 00:58:24,472 --> 00:58:26,303 - Not bad. - Really? 781 00:58:26,474 --> 00:58:28,305 I kind of stole it from you. 782 00:58:28,476 --> 00:58:30,876 Raiders-Vikings, Super Bowl XI. 783 00:58:31,046 --> 00:58:33,139 Hey, you are a genius. 784 00:58:33,315 --> 00:58:37,547 Thanks. Problem is we don't have a tailback. 785 00:58:39,321 --> 00:58:42,518 Listen, what if you tried this? 786 00:58:42,691 --> 00:58:44,886 You know what this is called? 787 00:58:46,895 --> 00:58:48,487 Intimidation. 788 00:58:48,830 --> 00:58:49,990 Cool. 789 00:58:50,999 --> 00:58:53,490 Now, tomorrow, when you go to the game... 790 00:58:53,668 --> 00:58:57,502 ...you don't want to be intimidated. So let me see your game faces. 791 00:58:59,674 --> 00:59:02,074 No, no. You can do better than that. 792 00:59:02,243 --> 00:59:04,074 Let me see your game faces. 793 00:59:07,015 --> 00:59:08,846 Try this. 794 00:59:10,318 --> 00:59:11,945 You're getting it. 795 00:59:12,187 --> 00:59:14,348 That's it, guys. Now come and get me. 796 00:59:22,864 --> 00:59:24,923 - Mind if I ask you something? - Yeah. 797 00:59:25,100 --> 00:59:28,592 I got kind of a big game coming up. You got any advice? 798 00:59:28,770 --> 00:59:31,534 - Good luck. - What, that's it? 799 00:59:31,706 --> 00:59:34,038 - Later. - See you, Steve. Bye, Emmitt. 800 00:59:34,209 --> 00:59:35,699 - Have a good trip. - Thanks. 801 00:59:35,877 --> 00:59:40,871 There's no big secret to winning football. It's doing what these guys do every game. 802 00:59:41,116 --> 00:59:43,380 Just go out and give it your best. 803 00:59:43,885 --> 00:59:47,446 Bottom line, I took a team to a Super Bowl, and we won. 804 00:59:47,622 --> 00:59:50,989 I even had some guys on that team that nobody wanted. 805 00:59:51,226 --> 00:59:53,956 But we were a team, and that's what you guys are. 806 00:59:54,129 --> 00:59:58,623 You're a football team. That's like a family, except you get to hit each other. 807 00:59:58,800 --> 01:00:03,260 But you have to stick together. Do that, and you'll be fine. 808 01:00:03,438 --> 01:00:04,769 Thanks, Mr. Madden. 809 01:00:04,939 --> 01:00:07,407 - Thanks, Mr. Madden. - See you! 810 01:00:07,575 --> 01:00:10,305 Let me tell you people something. 811 01:00:10,478 --> 01:00:12,912 This ain't just a football. 812 01:00:13,415 --> 01:00:18,478 This is your hopes, your dreams, your ambitions, your soul in a roll. 813 01:00:18,653 --> 01:00:20,484 It's your life. 814 01:00:20,655 --> 01:00:25,524 Tomorrow on that field, it's do or die. Win or cry! 815 01:00:25,693 --> 01:00:27,752 Go, baby! Go! 816 01:00:28,663 --> 01:00:32,656 Men, tonight when you go home, I want you to brush your little teeth. 817 01:00:32,834 --> 01:00:34,927 I want you to wash your little faces. 818 01:00:35,103 --> 01:00:38,095 And I want you to dream of football glory... 819 01:00:38,273 --> 01:00:43,267 ...because tomorrow, we're gonna crush the Little Giants into smithereens. 820 01:00:43,445 --> 01:00:45,345 - What do you say, men? - Yeah! 821 01:00:45,513 --> 01:00:46,502 Yeah! 822 01:01:08,203 --> 01:01:09,500 - Guess who. - Who? 823 01:01:09,671 --> 01:01:10,865 - Me. - Hey, Junior. 824 01:01:11,039 --> 01:01:14,037 Hey, that's disgusting. 825 01:01:14,038 --> 01:01:16,636 It looks like they're trying to swallow each other's heads. 826 01:01:16,811 --> 01:01:18,403 They're doing it all wrong. 827 01:01:18,580 --> 01:01:23,176 You have to move your head dramatic, like Kevin Costner in Robin Hood. Like this. 828 01:01:23,351 --> 01:01:27,219 No. In movies, they do that chicken-pecking, mouth half-open thing. 829 01:01:27,388 --> 01:01:30,152 Like this. "Hey, baby". 830 01:01:31,159 --> 01:01:33,150 No. 831 01:01:33,328 --> 01:01:38,527 Check this out. My cousin told me that her and her boyfriend use their tongues. 832 01:01:39,234 --> 01:01:42,067 - That's disgusting. - I know. Spit swappers. 833 01:01:42,237 --> 01:01:46,230 - Yeah, kind of like them. - Tonsil hockey. 834 01:01:49,744 --> 01:01:53,009 You know the only problem with kissing your own hand is? 835 01:01:53,181 --> 01:01:54,170 What? 836 01:01:54,349 --> 01:01:57,580 - It doesn't kiss back. - You wanna learn how to kiss? 837 01:01:57,752 --> 01:02:01,347 - I didn't say that. Do you? - No. I just got that vomit taste. 838 01:02:01,523 --> 01:02:04,185 Hey, we'll have to learn how sooner or later... 839 01:02:04,359 --> 01:02:07,260 ...I mean, if you wanna have kids and get a job. 840 01:02:07,428 --> 01:02:10,625 - You can have kids without kissing. - You can't get a job. 841 01:02:10,798 --> 01:02:14,029 Well, I'll become a teacher. 842 01:02:14,369 --> 01:02:18,965 But what if you were forced to? Wouldn't it be good to learn with a friend? 843 01:02:19,541 --> 01:02:22,374 You know, for scientific purposes. 844 01:02:22,544 --> 01:02:27,447 No way! If I had to learn how to kiss, and I mean absolutely, positively... 845 01:02:27,615 --> 01:02:33,110 ...no way out of it, no matter what, can't get out of it, I had to learn how to kiss... 846 01:02:33,288 --> 01:02:37,122 Well then, I think I'd want to learn with... 847 01:02:37,292 --> 01:02:39,624 Let me guess. 848 01:02:40,295 --> 01:02:43,389 - Debbie. - I don't know. 849 01:02:43,565 --> 01:02:47,968 But if not her, definitely another cheerleader-type, right? 850 01:02:48,136 --> 01:02:51,401 Maybe. I don't know. 851 01:02:51,573 --> 01:02:53,803 Look, this is really weird. 852 01:02:54,576 --> 01:02:56,737 Hey, Junior. 853 01:02:57,579 --> 01:03:00,639 If I was like a cheerleader, you'd wanna learn with me. 854 01:03:00,982 --> 01:03:03,974 But you're not. You're different. 855 01:03:04,152 --> 01:03:06,450 You're cool. You're the Icebox. 856 01:03:06,621 --> 01:03:10,921 Come on, you're probably the only girl I've met that can beat up my dad. 857 01:03:12,994 --> 01:03:15,588 Anyways, I'll see you later. 858 01:03:36,017 --> 01:03:38,508 - Hey. - Hey, Uncle Kev. 859 01:03:38,686 --> 01:03:42,053 Is Aunt Karen home? 860 01:03:48,963 --> 01:03:50,828 Come on in, buddy. 861 01:03:54,969 --> 01:03:56,596 Oh, no, you don't. You can't. 862 01:03:56,771 --> 01:04:00,070 This team has come too far to be shot down on a lousy call. 863 01:04:00,375 --> 01:04:03,742 Watch the grabbing, zebra. They're giving him the business. 864 01:04:03,911 --> 01:04:06,812 What? You're throwing me out? I'll throw you out. 865 01:04:06,981 --> 01:04:08,881 I'll throw your mother out. 866 01:04:09,050 --> 01:04:11,541 - Hi, Dad. - Hey. 867 01:04:11,719 --> 01:04:14,688 - Bye, Dad. - Hang on. What do you got, a victory cake? 868 01:04:14,856 --> 01:04:17,723 - Half that team's allergic to chocolate. - It's not a cake. 869 01:04:17,892 --> 01:04:20,827 You can't sneak away without telling me what it is. 870 01:04:20,995 --> 01:04:22,394 It's nothing. 871 01:04:22,563 --> 01:04:25,498 Okay. If my little fullback wants to surprise me... 872 01:04:25,667 --> 01:04:28,158 ...that's all right with me. 873 01:04:29,337 --> 01:04:31,396 Little fullback? 874 01:04:31,572 --> 01:04:33,563 Your little fullback? 875 01:04:33,908 --> 01:04:37,275 That's all I am to you, isn't it? Your little fullback. 876 01:04:38,179 --> 01:04:41,080 Your ticket to beating Kevin and winning the game. 877 01:04:41,416 --> 01:04:42,747 Becky, what's wrong? 878 01:04:43,251 --> 01:04:45,845 What's wrong? Everything's wrong. 879 01:04:46,020 --> 01:04:49,717 Do you know what Mom used to call me? Her little princess. 880 01:04:49,891 --> 01:04:53,224 When she tucked me in she'd go, "Good night, little princess". 881 01:04:53,394 --> 01:04:55,658 Then she'd kiss me on my cheeks. 882 01:04:55,830 --> 01:04:59,027 Then she'd pull the covers all around me. 883 01:04:59,701 --> 01:05:01,566 And you remember that? 884 01:05:02,103 --> 01:05:03,263 Yeah. 885 01:05:03,438 --> 01:05:05,531 She wouldn't let me play football. 886 01:05:05,707 --> 01:05:09,040 She wouldn't call me her little fullback either. 887 01:05:09,711 --> 01:05:13,977 Becky, look, Mom's not here anymore. She left us. 888 01:05:14,282 --> 01:05:16,716 - She quit. - No! 889 01:05:16,884 --> 01:05:20,047 She didn't quit. She just found a better team. 890 01:05:20,421 --> 01:05:22,548 I'm not playing tomorrow. 891 01:05:22,724 --> 01:05:27,388 This was your idea. This game was the most important thing in the world to you. 892 01:05:27,562 --> 01:05:33,057 No, Dad, this game means everything in the world to you. 893 01:06:02,830 --> 01:06:06,266 Come on, Dad. Throw it in here. 894 01:06:17,845 --> 01:06:21,679 Come on, fellas. Tomorrow's the big one. Don't let me down. 895 01:06:21,849 --> 01:06:25,649 You want intimidation? I'll show you intimidation. 896 01:06:48,976 --> 01:06:51,809 I'll be back in a few days. 897 01:06:51,979 --> 01:06:54,140 Be good. 898 01:07:03,324 --> 01:07:06,657 - You get a good night's sleep. - Don't think about football. 899 01:07:06,828 --> 01:07:09,388 I won't, Daddy. 900 01:07:15,236 --> 01:07:17,329 Three. 901 01:07:18,339 --> 01:07:20,739 Four. 902 01:07:21,342 --> 01:07:23,742 Five. 903 01:07:24,245 --> 01:07:26,577 Six. 904 01:07:27,081 --> 01:07:30,016 Seven. Eight. 905 01:07:36,757 --> 01:07:39,954 I want to pump you up. 906 01:08:09,724 --> 01:08:16,129 Good night, Urbania. And a special good luck to all tomorrow's players. 907 01:08:45,426 --> 01:08:47,485 Well, hello again, everybody. 908 01:08:47,662 --> 01:08:51,098 This is Cliff Parson, your play-by-play announcer. 909 01:08:51,265 --> 01:08:54,098 What a day it is. We're at Kevin O'Shea Stadium... 910 01:08:54,268 --> 01:08:56,463 ...located in pastoral Urbania, Ohio... 911 01:08:56,637 --> 01:08:59,697 ...scene of what's become known as "Mania in Urbania". 912 01:09:01,142 --> 01:09:03,269 Yeah, let's go. 913 01:09:05,513 --> 01:09:07,811 Now shake it up. 914 01:09:08,349 --> 01:09:11,113 Guys, quiet down! Hold it. 915 01:09:11,285 --> 01:09:15,187 Father Kelly is kind enough to say a prayer for our victory today. 916 01:09:15,356 --> 01:09:16,448 Yeah! 917 01:09:16,624 --> 01:09:17,784 Pipe down! 918 01:09:17,959 --> 01:09:20,894 All right. Quiet down for chrissake! 919 01:09:22,196 --> 01:09:23,959 Hey, shut up! 920 01:09:26,467 --> 01:09:28,298 Go ahead, Father. 921 01:09:28,469 --> 01:09:34,533 As we are about to embark on this journey of athletic competition... 922 01:09:34,709 --> 01:09:38,201 ...we pause to reflect. It is not whether you win or lose... 923 01:09:38,379 --> 01:09:40,711 Giants! Giants! Giants! 924 01:09:40,881 --> 01:09:41,905 What the hell? 925 01:09:42,083 --> 01:09:45,678 Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants! 926 01:09:45,853 --> 01:09:49,516 Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants! 927 01:09:49,991 --> 01:09:51,891 Let's kill them! Come on! 928 01:09:52,059 --> 01:09:53,356 They don't respect you! 929 01:09:55,563 --> 01:09:58,726 Hey, Briggs, you big snot-ball, I'll eat you for lunch! 930 01:10:01,669 --> 01:10:04,502 All right. All right. All right. Guys, cool it. 931 01:10:04,672 --> 01:10:08,506 One sec, coach. Paging Spike the putz! 932 01:10:08,676 --> 01:10:11,167 Hey, hey! Hang on, son. What's the matter? 933 01:10:11,345 --> 01:10:14,712 That's right, Spike! Icebox is gonna defrost you! 934 01:10:14,882 --> 01:10:17,180 You're getting fired up? 935 01:10:17,351 --> 01:10:19,080 Yeah, there you go, son. 936 01:10:19,253 --> 01:10:22,222 Save that rage! Uncork it on the first person you hit. 937 01:10:23,724 --> 01:10:26,522 All right. All right. All right. Enough of that. 938 01:10:26,694 --> 01:10:29,254 - Relax, coach. - We're unstoppable! 939 01:10:29,430 --> 01:10:30,954 Yeah! 940 01:10:31,866 --> 01:10:32,958 Hi, guys. 941 01:10:35,102 --> 01:10:36,694 Becky? 942 01:10:36,871 --> 01:10:40,773 Look, I just came by to wish you good luck and have a great game. 943 01:10:41,375 --> 01:10:43,707 I'll be rooting for you. 944 01:10:48,282 --> 01:10:50,477 All right. Everything's gonna be okay. 945 01:10:50,651 --> 01:10:52,744 - Let's talk strategy, guys. - Strategy? 946 01:10:52,920 --> 01:10:55,548 Without Becky, we're gonna be Cream of Wheat. 947 01:10:55,723 --> 01:10:59,887 Without Icebox, Spike's gonna rip off my face and wear it on Halloween. 948 01:11:00,061 --> 01:11:03,963 I'm leaving the country. I'm going to New Mexico. 949 01:11:04,799 --> 01:11:07,063 Guys, wait. I got something to show you. 950 01:11:07,234 --> 01:11:08,496 - What? - What is it? 951 01:11:13,074 --> 01:11:14,405 Death shrouds. 952 01:11:16,077 --> 01:11:17,601 Your name's on the back. 953 01:11:17,778 --> 01:11:22,909 So the guys at the morgue can identify the bodies. 954 01:11:35,930 --> 01:11:40,162 Hold up! Gentlemen... 955 01:11:41,001 --> 01:11:42,764 ...this ain't just a football. 956 01:11:42,937 --> 01:11:44,268 It's our lives! 957 01:11:44,438 --> 01:11:46,463 Show them what we have! 958 01:11:46,674 --> 01:11:49,837 Here come the Cowboys! 959 01:11:53,114 --> 01:11:55,639 Let's go, guys. Come on. 960 01:11:55,816 --> 01:11:58,307 Okay? Here we go. All right! 961 01:12:11,132 --> 01:12:14,795 Okay. Remember, guys, this is just a football... 962 01:12:14,969 --> 01:12:16,903 ...just air and pig intestines. 963 01:12:18,572 --> 01:12:20,802 All right. Come on. Let's get out there. 964 01:12:34,655 --> 01:12:37,522 I can't see with this thing on! 965 01:12:43,964 --> 01:12:46,228 Is this on? Is this...? 966 01:12:46,400 --> 01:12:48,891 Great to see you, folks. Welcome to the park. 967 01:12:49,069 --> 01:12:54,097 Today, Kevin's peewee Cowboys are gonna test their mini-muscles... 968 01:12:54,275 --> 01:12:56,368 ...against Danny's Little Giants. 969 01:12:56,544 --> 01:12:58,136 Little Giants, nice touch. 970 01:12:58,312 --> 01:13:00,177 - I thought you'd like that. - Guys. 971 01:13:00,347 --> 01:13:01,473 Kevin, you call it. 972 01:13:01,649 --> 01:13:04,311 - Heads. - Excuse me. How come he gets to call it? 973 01:13:04,485 --> 01:13:08,080 What's the difference? You kick off, we ram it down your throat. 974 01:13:08,255 --> 01:13:11,713 We kick off, take it from you, then ram it down your throat. 975 01:13:11,892 --> 01:13:15,350 You've been bossing me around since we were kids. Stop it. 976 01:13:15,529 --> 01:13:17,963 You don't ask for things. You take them. 977 01:13:18,132 --> 01:13:20,726 Like you took my ticket to that World Series? 978 01:13:20,901 --> 01:13:23,096 Guys, cut it out. You're brothers. 979 01:13:23,270 --> 01:13:26,034 - Not by choice. - I don't have to take that... 980 01:13:26,207 --> 01:13:29,699 ...from a guy who sunk his last dime into a broken gas station. 981 01:13:29,877 --> 01:13:33,404 It's been servicing this community for over 40 years. 982 01:13:33,581 --> 01:13:36,448 - It's a landmark. - Ought to be a landfill. 983 01:13:36,617 --> 01:13:39,780 You don't know anything about loyalty or heart. 984 01:13:39,954 --> 01:13:43,720 I would put that gas station up against any business in this town. 985 01:13:43,891 --> 01:13:45,222 - You sure? - Yes, I am. 986 01:13:45,392 --> 01:13:47,792 - Okay, fine. - Okay, fine. 987 01:13:47,962 --> 01:13:49,486 What are we talking about? 988 01:13:49,964 --> 01:13:54,298 My car dealership against your gas station, winner of this game takes it all. 989 01:13:54,468 --> 01:13:55,958 - You're on. - Fine. 990 01:13:56,136 --> 01:13:59,299 I'll even let you call it. Open up your fist. 991 01:13:59,473 --> 01:14:01,964 - Heads. - Tails. 992 01:14:02,142 --> 01:14:06,442 - This will be the longest day of your life. - We'll see about that. 993 01:14:06,981 --> 01:14:08,073 What am I doing? 994 01:14:08,249 --> 01:14:11,412 Cowboys! Cowboys! Win, win, win! 995 01:14:11,585 --> 01:14:15,180 - Giants! Giants! - Help us, God! 996 01:14:17,958 --> 01:14:19,926 Let's make something happen. 997 01:14:22,963 --> 01:14:27,491 Giants kicking off. They'll defend the western goal to my right, your left. 998 01:14:50,324 --> 01:14:51,313 Go! 999 01:14:51,492 --> 01:14:54,950 All right, guys. All right. Kicking is the key to this game. 1000 01:15:01,468 --> 01:15:05,029 Somebody's holding a pound of Aunt Betty's nut butter. It's a live ball! 1001 01:15:05,205 --> 01:15:07,298 Cowboys recover. 1002 01:15:16,016 --> 01:15:17,984 That was easy. 1003 01:15:20,354 --> 01:15:22,254 I-formation right, 32 dive on go. 1004 01:15:22,423 --> 01:15:24,152 Ready. Break! 1005 01:15:24,325 --> 01:15:26,316 When I get finished with you... 1006 01:15:26,493 --> 01:15:29,428 ...you'll fart out your mouth and talk out your butt. 1007 01:15:29,830 --> 01:15:31,491 Is that physically possible? 1008 01:15:31,665 --> 01:15:32,723 Down! 1009 01:15:33,834 --> 01:15:34,892 Set! 1010 01:15:35,069 --> 01:15:36,263 Go! 1011 01:15:42,009 --> 01:15:45,103 - All right. All right. - That's my boy! 1012 01:15:48,582 --> 01:15:50,049 Are you all right? 1013 01:15:50,250 --> 01:15:51,274 I think so. 1014 01:15:51,585 --> 01:15:54,213 I guess it is possible. 1015 01:15:54,388 --> 01:15:56,083 Go! 1016 01:16:04,999 --> 01:16:07,331 Way to hold him. 1017 01:16:13,374 --> 01:16:15,535 Dead meat. 1018 01:16:17,177 --> 01:16:18,439 Go! 1019 01:16:25,719 --> 01:16:27,482 Stay with him. Come on. 1020 01:16:34,628 --> 01:16:37,461 Touchdown, Cowboys! 1021 01:16:40,934 --> 01:16:44,097 This isn't American Gladiators. That was a cheap shot. 1022 01:16:44,304 --> 01:16:46,135 No penalty. No penalty. 1023 01:16:50,344 --> 01:16:54,508 Did I pass the spelling test, Mrs. Greely? 1024 01:16:54,882 --> 01:16:59,512 Wow. Spike knocked him all the way back to second grade. 1025 01:17:10,497 --> 01:17:13,728 - Okay, three little pigs on go. Ready. - Wait. 1026 01:17:13,901 --> 01:17:17,098 - What's the three little pigs? - Here. 1027 01:17:17,271 --> 01:17:22,368 Look. We're lined up strong left. Zolteck, watch Murphy coming through the hole. 1028 01:17:22,709 --> 01:17:24,973 - Ready. - Break! 1029 01:17:29,917 --> 01:17:32,147 Down! 1030 01:17:32,319 --> 01:17:35,345 Set! Go! 1031 01:17:38,225 --> 01:17:41,160 Blow the whistle! Blow the whistle! 1032 01:17:41,328 --> 01:17:45,492 Blow the whistle! Come on. Blow it! Blow it! 1033 01:17:46,200 --> 01:17:49,067 Tad, you're going the wrong way. 1034 01:17:49,303 --> 01:17:52,466 Blow the whistle! Come on! Blow the whistle! Blow it. 1035 01:17:52,639 --> 01:17:54,197 Blow it! 1036 01:17:57,778 --> 01:17:58,904 All right. 1037 01:17:59,179 --> 01:18:00,806 Down! 1038 01:18:01,415 --> 01:18:04,145 Set! Hut! 1039 01:18:18,332 --> 01:18:21,358 I should have gone to summer school. 1040 01:18:46,860 --> 01:18:49,795 Okay. Hanon, I want you to run a bear trap curl... 1041 01:18:49,963 --> 01:18:52,932 ...and try to catch the ball. - No problem. 1042 01:18:53,100 --> 01:18:56,900 - Okay, guys. On two. Ready. - Break! 1043 01:19:05,212 --> 01:19:06,873 Down! 1044 01:19:08,148 --> 01:19:11,640 Set! Go! Go! Go! 1045 01:19:24,932 --> 01:19:28,095 Hey, Hot Hands. You're the best player on our team. 1046 01:19:31,471 --> 01:19:33,598 - Ready. - Break! 1047 01:19:34,942 --> 01:19:36,307 Gonna rip your head off. 1048 01:19:38,545 --> 01:19:40,206 Down! 1049 01:19:41,348 --> 01:19:42,838 Set! 1050 01:19:43,350 --> 01:19:45,750 Go! Go! Go! Go! 1051 01:19:49,590 --> 01:19:55,256 Hammersmith dives on the ball in the end zone. Touchdown, Cowboys! 1052 01:19:55,896 --> 01:19:58,490 I can't see with this thing on! 1053 01:19:58,665 --> 01:20:03,466 That's the end of your first half. The score: Cowboys 21, Giants nothing. 1054 01:20:03,637 --> 01:20:07,801 - I'm not finished with you, Zol-fart. - Have a nice halftime, girls. 1055 01:20:07,975 --> 01:20:11,172 Look at my back. Is my spine sticking out through my uniform? 1056 01:20:11,511 --> 01:20:15,379 - It's hard to tell. - I've lost feeling in the back of my leg. 1057 01:20:15,549 --> 01:20:17,608 - Maybe it's asleep. - Nobody wake it. 1058 01:20:17,784 --> 01:20:22,187 - Hanon, call 911. - I can't. My fingers are stuck together. 1059 01:20:22,389 --> 01:20:26,792 Hey, Danny, this thing's gone far enough. Let's call it off, huh? 1060 01:20:26,960 --> 01:20:29,520 - It's not over. - It's not over. You're sure? 1061 01:20:29,696 --> 01:20:30,993 It's halftime. 1062 01:20:31,164 --> 01:20:36,067 Okay, kid. Hey, there'll always be a job for you at the full-service pumps. 1063 01:20:48,615 --> 01:20:51,049 Okay, guys. Listen up. We still got a shot. 1064 01:20:51,218 --> 01:20:53,880 A couple things go differently for us, we're in it. 1065 01:20:54,388 --> 01:20:57,152 - We can do it. - We really creamed them by showing up. 1066 01:20:57,324 --> 01:21:01,351 We quit. So call us if you decide to coach softball. 1067 01:21:01,928 --> 01:21:05,329 - What about the second half? - Tell them we can't come out. 1068 01:21:07,234 --> 01:21:10,795 - Put us on the injured list. - Yeah. 1069 01:21:23,717 --> 01:21:27,551 You know, there's something you guys should know. 1070 01:21:27,721 --> 01:21:31,623 When I was 10 years old, I put myself on the injured list. 1071 01:21:33,827 --> 01:21:37,285 - I never got off. - Why? 1072 01:21:37,464 --> 01:21:42,026 Because I didn't get picked a few times. So I started hiding under the bleachers. 1073 01:21:42,336 --> 01:21:44,804 That's where we belong, under the bleachers. 1074 01:21:44,971 --> 01:21:46,370 No, you don't. 1075 01:21:46,540 --> 01:21:49,134 You guys belong out there with those Cowboys. 1076 01:21:49,309 --> 01:21:52,972 You know how I know that? Because I belong out there with my brother. 1077 01:21:53,146 --> 01:21:56,479 Give us a break. You couldn't beat Kevin O'Shea at anything. 1078 01:21:56,650 --> 01:22:00,609 - No, that's not true. I did beat him once. - When? 1079 01:22:01,421 --> 01:22:05,755 When we were kids. We used to race our bikes down Cherry Hill after school. 1080 01:22:05,926 --> 01:22:08,520 We'd race every day, and he always beat me. 1081 01:22:08,695 --> 01:22:12,290 But one time, one time, I beat him. 1082 01:22:12,499 --> 01:22:17,459 - You beat Kevin down Cherry Hill? - Yes, I did. He ate my dust. 1083 01:22:17,904 --> 01:22:20,998 - Big deal. One time. - You know... 1084 01:22:21,174 --> 01:22:25,668 ...one time, at Randy Cooper's swim party, I did a back flip off the high dive. 1085 01:22:25,846 --> 01:22:30,783 - And my brother chickened out. - Roger chickened out? He's a Marine. 1086 01:22:30,951 --> 01:22:33,943 Oh, that's nothing. One time, at a Spring Carnival... 1087 01:22:34,121 --> 01:22:36,783 ...I beat both my brothers in the cow-dung toss. 1088 01:22:36,957 --> 01:22:39,687 You beat Matt and Brad in the turd toss? 1089 01:22:39,926 --> 01:22:42,520 One time, I went fishing with my entire family. 1090 01:22:42,696 --> 01:22:45,221 I was the only one that didn't throw up. 1091 01:22:45,399 --> 01:22:48,368 So what? That doesn't make us good football players. 1092 01:22:48,668 --> 01:22:52,502 Wait a second, guys. Who said you had to be good to play football? 1093 01:22:52,672 --> 01:22:54,867 You play football because you want to. 1094 01:22:55,175 --> 01:22:56,972 You play because it's fun. 1095 01:22:57,177 --> 01:23:00,169 You play so you can pretend you're Joe Montana... 1096 01:23:00,347 --> 01:23:04,306 ...throwing a touchdown pass or Emmitt Smith going for a long run. 1097 01:23:04,484 --> 01:23:07,476 And even if those Cowboys are better than you guys... 1098 01:23:07,654 --> 01:23:11,522 ...even if they beat you 99 times out of 100... 1099 01:23:11,691 --> 01:23:14,387 ...that still leaves... - One time. 1100 01:23:14,761 --> 01:23:18,925 - One time. - Yeah. One time. 1101 01:23:22,068 --> 01:23:26,368 - Stop! Who are we? - Giants! 1102 01:23:33,480 --> 01:23:37,541 - I just told the mayor you forfeited. - You give the mayor a message for me. 1103 01:23:37,717 --> 01:23:39,981 Tell him not to bet on the Cowboys. 1104 01:23:40,153 --> 01:23:41,415 - You forget one thing. - What? 1105 01:23:41,588 --> 01:23:45,422 - That's my field. - Yeah, well, we got the ball. 1106 01:23:46,726 --> 01:23:49,092 Come on. All right. 1107 01:23:58,972 --> 01:24:01,304 Okay, guys. All right. Here we go. 1108 01:24:01,508 --> 01:24:03,874 - Go, Spike. - All right. Let's hit somebody. 1109 01:24:04,044 --> 01:24:05,978 Break! 1110 01:24:08,281 --> 01:24:10,841 They're gonna have to put you in a body bag. 1111 01:24:11,251 --> 01:24:14,743 - Prepare to eat grass. - Pig breath, you're in big trouble. 1112 01:24:14,955 --> 01:24:20,120 - How come? - Football's 80%% mental and 40%% physical. 1113 01:24:20,293 --> 01:24:21,920 - Set. Go! - What? 1114 01:24:32,772 --> 01:24:34,797 Hey, guys, look! 1115 01:24:35,942 --> 01:24:39,070 - Second and nine. - They gained a yard! 1116 01:24:41,615 --> 01:24:43,776 We got one yard. 1117 01:24:46,820 --> 01:24:48,481 One yard. 1118 01:24:48,889 --> 01:24:50,447 Don't mean nothing. 1119 01:24:50,857 --> 01:24:52,586 Down! 1120 01:24:52,759 --> 01:24:55,159 Set! Go! 1121 01:25:00,567 --> 01:25:04,264 Flea-flicker to Floyd. He's got room up the sideline, the 45, the 50. 1122 01:25:10,176 --> 01:25:14,135 First down, Giants, on their longest gain of the afternoon. 1123 01:25:14,347 --> 01:25:16,406 What kind of defense is that? Come on. 1124 01:25:16,583 --> 01:25:18,574 All right. Great. Great stuff. 1125 01:25:18,752 --> 01:25:23,314 Giants, Giants, first and 10 Giants, Giants 1126 01:25:23,590 --> 01:25:25,038 Okay, listen up. 1127 01:25:25,039 --> 01:25:27,287 What would be the last thing they'd expect us to do? 1128 01:25:28,161 --> 01:25:32,291 - A reverse to me? - Down! 1129 01:25:32,832 --> 01:25:36,131 Set! Go! 1130 01:25:38,371 --> 01:25:40,703 I'm gonna die. I'm gonna die. 1131 01:25:40,874 --> 01:25:43,342 - Come on, Tad! - I'm gonna die! 1132 01:25:43,510 --> 01:25:46,001 Tad! Go! Go! Run out of bounds! 1133 01:25:51,117 --> 01:25:52,641 Tad! Run! 1134 01:26:01,861 --> 01:26:03,726 Go! Go! 1135 01:26:05,799 --> 01:26:08,199 We scored! We scored a touchdown! 1136 01:26:08,401 --> 01:26:10,835 Touchdown, Giants! 1137 01:26:13,073 --> 01:26:15,837 Oh, my God! My son scored a touchdown. 1138 01:26:41,635 --> 01:26:45,662 Down. Set. Go! 1139 01:26:56,249 --> 01:26:59,184 Yes. I've done it. 1140 01:27:13,800 --> 01:27:16,564 All right, Spike. We're not taking any chances. 1141 01:27:16,736 --> 01:27:21,070 Either take Junior Floyd out of the game or you donate a kidney to Aunt Ruth. 1142 01:27:21,241 --> 01:27:24,142 - Yes, sir! - Okay. Come on. Get going. 1143 01:27:42,495 --> 01:27:47,057 - Personal foul, number 32, white. - Are you crazy? What kind of call is that? 1144 01:27:47,233 --> 01:27:50,964 Hey. That wasn't very nice, you big bully. 1145 01:27:51,137 --> 01:27:55,471 If that kid of yours pulls another stunt like that, you're both out of here. 1146 01:27:55,642 --> 01:28:00,272 - Hey, I thought you wanted to win. - Not like that. 1147 01:28:29,943 --> 01:28:32,377 - Hi. - Sure you want to do this, Becky? 1148 01:28:32,545 --> 01:28:35,480 - Call me Icebox. - Hey, Icebox. 1149 01:28:35,648 --> 01:28:37,445 Kick some butt. 1150 01:28:39,686 --> 01:28:41,176 Call me Becky. 1151 01:28:50,830 --> 01:28:54,527 - What's that cheerleader doing? - It's no cheerleader. That's my niece. 1152 01:28:54,701 --> 01:28:55,998 And she's pissed. 1153 01:28:56,169 --> 01:28:57,693 Break! 1154 01:29:00,140 --> 01:29:04,008 Keep clear, Ice Chest, or I'll have to mess up your face. 1155 01:29:05,912 --> 01:29:09,871 Two, fifty-six. Two, fifty-six. 1156 01:29:10,049 --> 01:29:13,416 Two, fifty-six. Down! 1157 01:29:13,686 --> 01:29:16,655 Set! Go! 1158 01:29:27,500 --> 01:29:29,417 What a hit by Becky O'Shea. 1159 01:29:29,418 --> 01:29:32,335 The ball is loose. Hanon tightly covers it up. 1160 01:29:32,539 --> 01:29:35,064 Yes! All right! That's my girl! 1161 01:29:35,241 --> 01:29:37,072 Yeah. 1162 01:29:37,243 --> 01:29:38,733 No! 1163 01:29:41,614 --> 01:29:43,343 - Let it go, man. - Get away. 1164 01:29:44,150 --> 01:29:47,586 I got it! I got it! I got it! 1165 01:29:57,630 --> 01:29:59,723 Zolteck! Come here. 1166 01:30:00,233 --> 01:30:02,131 You rang? 1167 01:30:02,132 --> 01:30:05,830 Chicken little flea-flicker on two. Take it. 1168 01:30:07,640 --> 01:30:11,371 - Okay. Chicken little flea-flicker on two. - What's that? 1169 01:30:11,644 --> 01:30:13,043 It's a pitch to Johnny. 1170 01:30:13,546 --> 01:30:17,949 Pitch to Johnny? You can't pitch to Johnny. I'm Johnny! 1171 01:30:18,117 --> 01:30:20,711 Zolteck, he's gonna need some running room. 1172 01:30:21,020 --> 01:30:22,385 Got you. 1173 01:30:22,555 --> 01:30:25,991 - Break! - Excuse me, guys! Guys, come on! 1174 01:30:27,660 --> 01:30:32,757 Excuse me. Maybe you can help me. I'm trying to remember what I had for lunch. 1175 01:30:32,999 --> 01:30:36,662 - How can we do that? - By taking a whiff of this. 1176 01:30:38,905 --> 01:30:40,463 Hut. Hut two. 1177 01:30:42,609 --> 01:30:45,840 - Now what? - Just run to him. 1178 01:30:47,280 --> 01:30:49,145 Dad? 1179 01:30:49,716 --> 01:30:51,809 Dad! 1180 01:30:51,985 --> 01:30:53,247 Dad! 1181 01:30:59,459 --> 01:31:01,290 Dad! 1182 01:31:02,428 --> 01:31:04,555 Dad! 1183 01:31:08,201 --> 01:31:09,498 Dad! 1184 01:31:10,403 --> 01:31:13,531 Touchdown! The Giants deficit is cut in half... 1185 01:31:13,706 --> 01:31:16,300 ...on brilliant running by Johnny Vennaro. 1186 01:31:18,945 --> 01:31:23,507 - Line up. Let's go. Get the guys over here. - We're out there. Let's go to kick off. 1187 01:31:26,119 --> 01:31:27,677 Down! 1188 01:31:27,854 --> 01:31:30,846 Set! Go! 1189 01:31:37,330 --> 01:31:41,357 - Clear it out. Let's go. - All right, guys. Way to go. 1190 01:31:41,534 --> 01:31:43,832 What's the matter, four-eyes? 1191 01:31:44,003 --> 01:31:46,164 Want your mama? 1192 01:31:46,839 --> 01:31:49,171 Don't be talking about my mama. 1193 01:31:50,410 --> 01:31:54,403 Watching Jake play football has really been great for my family. 1194 01:31:54,580 --> 01:31:55,638 Yeah. 1195 01:31:55,815 --> 01:31:58,682 Down. Set. Go! 1196 01:32:03,957 --> 01:32:07,393 Rip their filthy ears off, Jakester! 1197 01:32:09,529 --> 01:32:11,793 Yes! Yes! 1198 01:32:18,705 --> 01:32:23,506 - I use these for acid indigestion. - So what are we gonna use these for? 1199 01:32:23,676 --> 01:32:25,371 Intimidation. 1200 01:32:28,348 --> 01:32:29,838 Break! 1201 01:32:42,195 --> 01:32:43,924 Go. 1202 01:32:47,200 --> 01:32:50,294 What's the matter with you? You gonna play or what? 1203 01:32:50,803 --> 01:32:54,933 Okay. I've got the play. Silver streak to Hanon on two. 1204 01:32:55,108 --> 01:32:56,370 Are you sure? 1205 01:32:56,542 --> 01:32:58,874 - Ready. - Break! 1206 01:33:00,013 --> 01:33:02,504 - Oh, crud. - Come on. 1207 01:33:03,449 --> 01:33:05,576 Set! Go! 1208 01:33:10,123 --> 01:33:12,148 Pass! Pass! Pass! 1209 01:33:25,972 --> 01:33:27,599 Yeah! That's my boy! 1210 01:33:35,515 --> 01:33:37,244 All right, Hanon! 1211 01:33:37,417 --> 01:33:38,679 Touchdown! 1212 01:33:38,851 --> 01:33:41,149 - Wrong defense! - I didn't call the blitz! 1213 01:33:46,159 --> 01:33:49,026 With 1:45 left and the score tied 21 to 21... 1214 01:33:49,195 --> 01:33:53,188 ...it looks like Mr. Momentum may be changing his address. 1215 01:33:53,366 --> 01:33:54,697 All right, men. Let's go. 1216 01:33:56,035 --> 01:33:57,832 Down! 1217 01:33:58,171 --> 01:33:59,832 Set! 1218 01:34:00,339 --> 01:34:02,136 Go! 1219 01:34:07,780 --> 01:34:10,613 - Get off of me. - You're mine. 1220 01:34:12,785 --> 01:34:14,912 All right. All right. 1221 01:34:17,490 --> 01:34:21,756 With less than a minute to play, the Cowboys are heading for that end zone. 1222 01:34:21,928 --> 01:34:23,691 Set! Go! 1223 01:34:29,502 --> 01:34:31,333 Stick a fork in them. They're done! 1224 01:34:33,439 --> 01:34:35,634 Easy! Easy! One more! 1225 01:34:35,975 --> 01:34:37,135 Come here, son. 1226 01:34:37,310 --> 01:34:40,905 Thirty-eight toss. You understand? Thirty-eight toss. Let's go. 1227 01:34:44,117 --> 01:34:47,086 Do you remember that championship game with Sutterville? 1228 01:34:47,253 --> 01:34:50,347 The one where Kevin scored the winning touchdown? 1229 01:34:51,491 --> 01:34:52,753 Time-out. 1230 01:34:52,925 --> 01:34:57,362 The Giants call a time-out with 10 seconds left and the ball on the one-yard line. 1231 01:34:58,064 --> 01:35:00,055 Come on, guys. Huddle up. 1232 01:35:00,233 --> 01:35:03,760 Look, no one thought we'd make it this far. 1233 01:35:03,936 --> 01:35:07,929 But now it's time to really dig in. They're gonna give the ball to Spike. 1234 01:35:08,107 --> 01:35:11,008 - We've gotta stop him. - He's too strong. 1235 01:35:11,177 --> 01:35:13,543 We can do it together. 1236 01:35:15,214 --> 01:35:17,739 - Ready. - Break! 1237 01:35:18,551 --> 01:35:22,351 Hold that line! Hold that line! Hold that line! 1238 01:35:23,823 --> 01:35:25,256 Set! 1239 01:35:27,894 --> 01:35:29,452 They know the play. 1240 01:35:29,629 --> 01:35:31,722 They know the play. 1241 01:35:34,800 --> 01:35:37,200 Set! 1242 01:35:37,436 --> 01:35:39,461 Go! 1243 01:36:08,201 --> 01:36:10,192 Turn it up! 1244 01:36:16,342 --> 01:36:18,742 - Yes! We're in! Touchdown! - Yeah! 1245 01:36:18,911 --> 01:36:20,674 - It was over! - No. We stopped him. 1246 01:36:20,846 --> 01:36:22,404 - He was in. - No way. 1247 01:36:22,715 --> 01:36:24,979 Move it back. Everybody, off the ball. 1248 01:36:25,151 --> 01:36:26,812 Move back. 1249 01:36:27,320 --> 01:36:28,514 Giants' ball! 1250 01:36:29,121 --> 01:36:30,782 No! No! 1251 01:36:30,957 --> 01:36:32,982 Giants' ball! 1252 01:36:33,159 --> 01:36:34,626 Told you. 1253 01:36:34,794 --> 01:36:36,659 Time-out. 1254 01:36:41,033 --> 01:36:44,127 You did it, guys. You stopped him. I'm real proud of you. 1255 01:36:44,303 --> 01:36:48,171 - Coach, there's still four seconds left. - We can beat these guys. 1256 01:36:50,343 --> 01:36:53,073 Put me in, coach! I wanna kick some butt! 1257 01:36:53,246 --> 01:36:55,544 What kind of play you got for this? 1258 01:36:55,948 --> 01:36:58,610 How about the annexation of Puerto Rico? 1259 01:36:58,784 --> 01:37:03,153 With four seconds left, the Giants trot onto the field for the final play. 1260 01:37:06,325 --> 01:37:08,987 - Ready. - One time. 1261 01:37:11,864 --> 01:37:13,627 - Ready. - Break! 1262 01:37:14,867 --> 01:37:17,199 You're mine, pom-pom. 1263 01:37:18,704 --> 01:37:21,730 - All right. - Let's go, baby. One more play, baby. 1264 01:37:21,907 --> 01:37:24,102 Watch the wingman. 1265 01:37:29,849 --> 01:37:31,476 Down! 1266 01:37:31,651 --> 01:37:34,211 - Don't let anybody behind you! - Set! 1267 01:37:39,025 --> 01:37:40,788 Go! 1268 01:37:45,231 --> 01:37:47,995 Reverse! Reverse! 1269 01:37:51,270 --> 01:37:54,706 She doesn't have the ball. Fumblerooski! Fumblerooski! 1270 01:37:58,177 --> 01:38:02,443 - Yeah! No mercy! - No ball. 1271 01:38:07,787 --> 01:38:10,085 - Get him! - He's got the ball! 1272 01:38:22,735 --> 01:38:25,363 I got it. I got it. 1273 01:38:25,538 --> 01:38:27,096 Come on! Come on! 1274 01:38:27,573 --> 01:38:30,974 I'm gonna score a touchdown. I'm gonna score a touchdown! 1275 01:38:31,143 --> 01:38:33,111 No, you're not. 1276 01:38:38,818 --> 01:38:40,046 Yeah! 1277 01:38:43,389 --> 01:38:46,290 - We won! - We won! 1278 01:39:06,312 --> 01:39:08,177 We did it! We won! 1279 01:39:08,714 --> 01:39:11,945 - We won! We won! We won! - We did it! 1280 01:39:12,118 --> 01:39:13,847 We won! 1281 01:39:14,954 --> 01:39:18,014 We won! We won! 1282 01:39:19,024 --> 01:39:20,252 We won! 1283 01:39:23,662 --> 01:39:25,721 Patty Floyd... 1284 01:39:26,365 --> 01:39:30,131 ...I was wondering if you'd be interested in having dinner with me? 1285 01:39:34,039 --> 01:39:36,633 Fine, if you'd like to think about it. 1286 01:39:39,612 --> 01:39:41,705 Get a grip, Dad. 1287 01:39:43,949 --> 01:39:46,679 Yeah! Oh, yeah! 1288 01:39:47,453 --> 01:39:48,886 Yes! 1289 01:39:52,091 --> 01:39:56,994 Giants! Giants! Giants! Giants! 1290 01:39:58,030 --> 01:40:01,227 Congratulations, Danny. Looks like you're the new head coach. 1291 01:40:01,400 --> 01:40:04,665 If you're pissed at me, don't be. If I wasn't tough on you... 1292 01:40:04,837 --> 01:40:07,772 ...when we were kids, you never would've beat me today. 1293 01:40:07,940 --> 01:40:10,723 Okay. Listen, Kev, my guys are wondering... 1294 01:40:10,724 --> 01:40:12,707 They want to tar and feather me in public? 1295 01:40:12,945 --> 01:40:16,813 No. They're wondering if your team wants to join the Little Giants. 1296 01:40:16,982 --> 01:40:19,212 One town. One team. 1297 01:40:20,186 --> 01:40:22,711 - All right. I'll tell my boys. - Hey, Kev. 1298 01:40:22,888 --> 01:40:26,085 - Is it possible to have two head coaches? - No. 1299 01:40:26,258 --> 01:40:30,490 In case the head coach doesn't know as much about football as the other coach? 1300 01:40:35,901 --> 01:40:38,131 Let me think about it. All right? 1301 01:40:38,304 --> 01:40:40,898 - Deal. - Danny. 1302 01:40:41,507 --> 01:40:43,941 That bet we made, you're not holding me to it? 1303 01:40:44,510 --> 01:40:49,538 Kevin, am I the kind of guy that's gonna throw his own brother out on the street? 1304 01:40:49,849 --> 01:40:52,044 - No. - There's always a job for you... 1305 01:40:52,218 --> 01:40:55,551 ...at Danny O'Shea Chevrolet. I'll start you on commission... 1306 01:40:55,721 --> 01:41:00,351 Danny, look, there's gotta be some way we can work this out. What do you want? 1307 01:41:00,526 --> 01:41:03,723 Well, there is one thing. 1308 01:41:03,896 --> 01:41:05,420 What? 106373

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