Original subtitles

Goodbye,

Mr. Barkley.

When my boss told you to throw the game, maybe you should have thrown it. It was

game seven of the championship series.

Look, maybe we can negotiate.

Maybe Mr. Barkley can throw another baseball game or something.

It's a basketball game.

Oh, I'm sorry.

Eat lead, Dirtbags!

Wow, you hear them all?

Guess not.

Look, see if we can get to Nicky's car. Hold this and pretend there's more

bullets in it.

Oh, no, she took the keys.

Nikki. Nikki.

Nikki. But Sir Charles and I are in deep crap.

We're not going to make it there in time. I left some goodies for you in the

mustang.

Don't make it up.

Val, just one thing, okay?

Don't use the grenade launcher.

I armed it to blow up an aircraft carrier.

Val, that's the one your friend said not to use.

I just came to California to get some rays.

This is crazy.

You guys don't understand. I got my lucky punch. I'm not a bodyguard. But we

are. You have to be a figurehead. A name on the door. You'll probably never even

leave the office.

You'll help us pull in the rich and famous.

We'll do the rest. We're professionals.

We'll take care of all the tough stuff. I'll never be in any danger.

Never. Never. Never.

We'll be right back.

Hey, hey, hey. You want to double that easy money? You want to double that?

Hey, whatever.

It's your dog, Kirby.

Mr. Future NBA.

Come on, right here.

Slam -a -jam -a -ding -dong, baby.

There you go.

That's right. Bring it out.

Oh,

that's right.

What are they? They can't fade us. They can't fade you, man. What's up?

You about to get your girl something?

What's up?

You guys want to play a game?

Two on two?

Got some advice for you, Kirby.

Stay out of the draft.

And lay off my man.

NBA.

No way. Understand?

I've come a long way since my first car.

Yeah, what were you riding?

I was riding a 77 Nova.

What do you expect? Nova in Spanish means doesn't go.

Doesn't go in English either.

You know, the only gear that works with cars.

Well, it has, so that's the only gear you need.

The figurehead has been summoned.

to devote all my time to Kirby.

I think that Greg Stone isn't too happy with that.

Greg Stone's bad news.

He's got the FBI all over his book.

He's got dozens and dozens of clients. He wouldn't know how to handle a special

kid like Kirby too soon.

Very

generous of you

to take on a client who hasn't officially come out for the NBA draft.

The draft deadline's out for another three days.

Isn't he supposed to go to college first?

He's going to the Oscars.

There's a $30 million payday waiting for this kid.

I think he's got to get it.

He needs to be in the NBA now.

What?

It's the third one this week.

This one's getting more and more creative every time. Join the NBA equals

Let's go on with some people. It's only a game.

A game with a lot of money at stake.

His parents are out of town this week.

Until the police can determine where that came from, I want him to get the

protection available 24 -7.

You got that with VIP.

It's definitely got a lot of heat on him right now.

He's going to go number one at the end of the draft.

MMA? A couple of young guys like us?

We're going to make the league fresh next season.

Could be really nice how to take it to the hall.

Of course, I'll loan him on the court next year.

Yet he's out there while you're sitting in the big country ass running your

mouth.

Maybe I'll go practice a couple free throws.

That's my boy. Go fill it up.

What do you think, Mr. Brakestone?

Jimmy's got major talent, but he's no Kirby Tucson.

You know how much I hate being number two.

Especially to Phil Sherman.

My boys paid him a little visit on his home court.

Scared him a little bit.

That was before Sherman put Valerie Irons on the cape.

I'll take care of it.

Oh, I need to hear.

You look great out there. You got fun, huh? Nice, baby. You know it. You know

it.

He's the babysitter you were telling me about, Mr. Sherman.

Elite bodyguard.

VIP. You work with her?

Rough life, bruh.

What's happening, man? Good to see you. You too, dog. Good game.

Thanks, man. You look like you know what you're doing out there. Come on, man.

But I can show you.

All right.

Hey, let me go. I need to talk to Kirby.

You know this guy? I'm a product rep to G4 Shoes.

Doesn't surprise me.

We get losers like him all the time trolling for endorsements.

Guy's got to make a living, right?

Hey, Kirby, we're going to make your bash Saturday night near Gotham Hall in

Santa Monica. All right, all right, all right. Get out of here. Get the heck out

of here.

Beat it.

So you guys got to go, like, everywhere I go?

Everywhere.

I'm your new best friend.

What, what, what?

You

know

what? This bodyguard work isn't so bad.

There's a million people, Val. We gotta stay sharp.

Okay, what do you want me to do?

Josh and Quick have the perimeter locked.

We back -tell the client back to the rendezvous point, SOP.

Oh, sure, SOP.

Standard operating procedure.

Of course, it'd work a lot better with a Gamma Point operative.

You know, undercover.

No.

Yo, Flint, they got some new Jordans. Let's check them out.

Hey, I found you.

What are you doing here?

I need you to sign this lease transfer.

Come on, you are on the ball.

GPO, let's put Kay undercover.

New chick, Val.

Ooh, hot.

Val Gal.

What's going on?

Oh, I was just signing an autograph for a fan.

You're a bigot. One of those special, um, gamma point autographs.

Yeah, that's right.

K just graduated from Birmingham High in Van Nuys.

Oh, that's cool.

I shattered a backboard there my junior year.

So what's up? You just out here killing for the summer?

Yeah.

Yeah.

I'm just killing.

Uh, excuse me for a second.

A high schooler? No, you graduated.

Just go with me.

You're a gamma -point operative.

Hey, listen, I was, um, wondering, maybe you'd like to go to a cool party

tonight?

Really?

Yeah.

Yeah, that'd be... Well,

why don't you give her the address? I'll keep these guys moving.

Let her go.

An undercover operative? This is so cool!

Come

on

guys, let's go check out the party.

What's up, baby?

Hey,

Matthew, you gonna join the show this season or what?

Man, I don't even know yet.

Who's the posse? Oh, them?

Those are my bodyguards. I got round -the -clock protection.

Real pros.

They're right.

This is all the protection I need.

Peace.

Charles Sally.

Kirby Tucson.

Man, you've been winning championships since I was a little kid.

That wasn't long ago. You're still a kid.

Hey, Spider.

How's it going, handsome?

I'm all right. What's up?

Best hoops commentator on TV.

Are you getting taller?

Just prettier.

Matter of fact, if the network doesn't do something about my fans, I may have

call on you guys again.

Hang with good people, Tucson.

Cool.

Hey,

Hodges.

What's up, man?

Clutch three against Phoenix in the finals.

Got to say, little man, trying to maintain my scoring record.

Scoring record?

The season hasn't even started yet.

This is what I'm talking about.

Got a season that lasts all year long.

Hey, Jimmy.

Kirby Tucson.

What's up, baby?

How you doing, buddy? You got to meet my friends over here.

So you're Kirby's protection.

You got a problem with that? I've lost my teeth with your arms, little girl.

Maybe you should consider orthodontics.

Wow, isn't this cool?

A couple of press guys like us getting to hang out with the real pros.

It's your first time, man?

Hopefully I don't keep you past your bedtime.

Please, I'll be the one putting you to sleep if I step up this season.

Ooh, already talking trash.

Nah, I let my game do that. Yeah, that's my style, too.

All right, man, stay cool.

Jimmy.

Jimmy, don't give me a mistake.

California smoking laws drive me nuts.

Come on.

We can have some fun with this tonight, okay?

Because by Thursday, he's gone anyway.

She's going to be OK.

I don't think she's the one you can worry about. That's right, Sasha. Just

I should.

Yeah, yeah, that was good.

This is Ken Bredstone's work. I know it.

He's not finished.

Relax, Mr. Sherman.

Right now, your boy's safe and sound with two of our associates.

This is Kirby's time to shine. You know that, right? We're handling the

situation, and we are very good at what we do.

Let's hope so.

Kay overheard some of Bredstone's goons yapping about Kirby's career being

deaded by Tuesday.

The NBA draft deadline.

Packford again?

Or Salino.

It's the type of hat the head of the agency used to wear. What's up?

FBI's got a tap on Bridgestone. I thought we'd check it out.

You connected with the FBI?

With another agency that monitors the FBI.

What the FBI doesn't know won't hurt them.

The package got delayed, Mr. B.

Just a little delay.

Damage report?

Sorry, but the package is still intact.

Doesn't matter.

Our primary delivery service is going to send it to the dead letter office.

You're breaking up. I'll call you back.

I think Herbie's in trouble.

Breakstone's up to something heavy. We have to put someone inside his agency.

You don't have to be 21.

That's cool that all the girls have little cute accents like you.

Hey, Kerbaleshi. Hey, Valgal.

Really? No clothes, huh?

I like that.

Who are you talking to? Hold on.

I'm doing research on nude beaches at the 2000 Summer Olympic Games. The 2000

Games? In Australia?

Hey! You know who's paying for that?

Relax, Max.

What?

Brickley's going to own the phone company.

He's going to go pro at the NBA.

$15 million with endorsements.

For real?

Yep. Good over.

I got some ideas for you. Here you go. Let me open that for you.

Have you ever thought about investing in masterminds and sportswear?

I have a nice catalog for you. She knows.

I'll show you some of my designs.

So, who's going to be our eyes and ears undercover?

Who can I do a little recon work?

Yeah, Breakstone's agency consistently hires a certain type of office temp.

And who fits into that group?

It's it.

It's the only one person I know.

Wow. Who are these girls eating for breakfast?

Same thing about us.

I can hear you guys looking at me.

Why did you leave your last job?

Oh, uh, it was much too slow.

I craved more action.

I see.

More action?

How many words do you type a minute?

I'm pretty fast.

How many words do you type?

Eighty -five.

Not bad.

I can type a hundred. A hundred and twenty if I really concentrate.

Sell all my shares.

Yeah, all of them.

Uh -huh.

Whatever.

Look, you're my broker. I trust you.

Do whatever you want with the cash. Look, I'm really busy.

and another thing when i was slicing onions at this hot dog stand i must have

been immune or something because i never cried you're hired

i am oh okay that was easy when do i start about a minute

ago cool

Well, I hope this doesn't put me to sleep like my last job.

You know, Kirby, once you start playing, you'll fit right in.

I'm not really sure about that.

Oh, come on.

You, you've got all the moves.

Slam -a -jam -a -ding -dong.

Yeah, I mean, my hoop skills are pro, but it's the other stuff I'm not so sure

about. It's like sometimes I think, maybe I should go to college first, but

don't even know what that's like.

Oh, college is a blast.

Spring fling dances, pulling all -nighters in the library stacks,

Bascom Hill on a cafeteria lunch tray.

Wow. How do you know about all that?

Oh, I, um, I read about it in Seventeen magazine.

Kirby, have you ever discussed this with anyone else?

Yeah, but it's like everyone wants to put in their two cents. I got my parents

telling me one thing.

Flip telling me another.

I just don't want to let down Mr. Sherman.

Kirby, this is your decision, not his.

Whatever. Hey, you want to go hit the fierce wheel at the pier?

Yeah, that sounds fun.

Something just came up. I got to get you to Malibu this afternoon.

No can do, Mr. Sherman. Kay and I have plans. Kirby, this is a must.

This is a showcase for the sports stars of tomorrow. But, Mr. Sherman, I was

just going to go... Look, this is all about you. That's what you wanted, isn't

it? Well, yeah, but I wanted to go... Listen, VIP will take you over there.

Here's an itinerary. I need you to wear something sharp, baby.

Okay? Mr. Sherman, I'm not sure about all this.

Kirby, relax, okay?

A little extra exposure might just drive your pride up.

Have some fun.

That's not what I meant.

CK, everyone wants a piece of me for something.

Except you.

Brake stone, can you help me?

Brake stone, can you help me?

Excuse me.

Oh, that's your brake stone.

They're on voicemail.

I just wanted to say hello in person.

Oh, you're very busy.

You've been in your office all day.

Yeah, just taking care of some important business.

Usually it has me bopping all over the place.

Really?

Bopping anywhere special today?

Yeah. I have this really boring thing to do at lunch.

I can imagine anything you do as being boring.

Oh, it happens.

But maybe you can spice up my day when I get back.

I can dictate a letter.

I hear you're some typist.

Well, quick thing to do in the family.

I love genetics.

What are you doing?

Making you look good.

Thanks.

There you go. All clear. No tail.

Enough action here for you? Yeah, yeah.

I love it here.

It doesn't really get busy until after lunch. Oh, yeah.

Where is this stupid person?

Malibu, Zuma Beach.

There could be some cute little beach buddies bopping around.

That's something that I want.

I need a destination calling me.

I wish every time I could go.

I need a destination.

Thank you.

Daryl, where are you from?

Omaha, Nebraska.

Cornhusker country.

Go Big Red.

Jimmy, how do you feel about competing with Kirby Tucson?

We've played against each other for years. I think we respect each other's

I just think he respects my game a little more.

Any last words, Jimmy?

Freestand, done, fun.

What more can you ask for? You know, I'm just glad to be here. All right, guys.

Thanks a lot, everybody.

Hey, hey, good job, Jimmy. That was great.

Hey, listen, can you come by the office today?

Kirby! Hi, Julie White, KLB News. How you doing?

Kirby Tucson, you enjoying yourself?

Yeah, you know, just chilling.

What about the NBA draft?

Have you decided what you're going to do this fall?

Kirby will announce his decision soon. Right now, I'd like the NBA to get ready

for a one -of -a -kind superstar.

That's all, thank you. Thank you.

Hi. Daryl. Daryl Wilcox.

NFL Rookie of the Year.

You're tied in, too.

Actually, I'm a defensive end.

Touch me like that again and I'll dropkick you to Omaha.

Daryl.

How's life in my shadow, Bill?

You adjusting to it okay?

Kirby and I are just fine, thank you, Kent.

Oh, yeah. I forgot.

He needs special attention.

You're a loser, Phil.

I really hope you enjoy number two, Kent, because that kid right over there

taking me to the number one spot.

Kirby's got the moves, but no gut.

The league's going to eat him up, and you're going right down with him.

What, kiddo?

I don't know what you're talking about.

Come on, that was a perfect Kareem Skyhook.

Yeah, whatever.

You gonna walk all the way to Baja?

Maybe.

When I'm bummed, I usually like to blow something up.

Look, are you my bodyguard or my shrink?

Easy, pixie stick. I'm just trying to help.

I just need to take a stroll, you know?

Kirby! Hey.

I'm sorry about that jerk Braxton. I shouldn't have let him get to me like

You say you want what's best for me. I do.

I do. Whatever you need, I'm behind you 100%. How do I know?

Kirby, if you told me right now that you wanted to skip the draft and go to

college, I'd still be proud to be your agent.

I will wait for you if that's what it takes.

All right.

Everything you requested is ready.

Perfect.

Kirby Tucson will soon be yesterday's news.

You want me to make the approach? You'll never know what hit him.

You're efficient, Cross, but you lack elegance.

I have to have someone Kirby trusts get the ball rolling.

You know, when I was in my wig, I noticed there was a whole file on Kirby

bunch of made -up stuff.

Breakstone's got his fall from grace all planned out.

It's thick.

Take a break, Starbar.

It's official.

Kirby's signing with the NBA.

Oh, you're going to make a great throw, Kirby. I can tell.

Hey, congratulations, man.

You're going to be huge with a capital H.

I'm dedicating my first pro dunk to you guys.

Clam -a -jam -a -ding -dong.

Kirby and Sherman are going to make the announcement from his office in

Brantwood.

We've got to make sure we get him there tomorrow by the new deadline.

Why do you guys have a picture of Kay?

And who are these other people with you?

That picture came with the plane.

This is your desk. You work with these guys, don't you? Kirby, let me explain.

I can't believe this.

I wanted to tell you earlier. Really, I did. I just... I couldn't. I trusted

you. All those things you said to me, they meant nothing.

Kirby, you know that is not true.

I care about you. I do. What people say and do are not the same things.

Everyone wants a piece of me. I'm sick of this.

Kirby.

Kirby.

I can't go first. I don't want to scare him.

He went downstairs.

Everybody back to your offices. It was a false alarm.

Garvey, what's going on?

Jimmy. Jimmy, I need a ride, man.

You don't look so good. What's up?

I just... Things are so messed up right now, man.

It's okay. There's a lot of pressure right now.

Come on. Let's blow off some steam.

Don't worry. Everything's going to be cool.

Hey,

Kirby.

What's going on, Jimmy?

It's business, understand?

Just business.

Get him out.

Jimmy, how could you do this to me?

Jimmy, what's up, man?

Good work, kid.

all my fault okay don't bust yourself huh not easy being an undercover

like me that's where the phone pole run off to anyway i don't know there was no

answer at his home what about his boy flip i just talked to him he has no idea

where kirby is i know kirby and if he's trying to blow off some steam he's out

shooting baskets come on man hey man what you doing man get off me man get

me

I let my clients use this place to get away.

Something else you're losing out on. What are you going to do, kill me?

You can't hold me here forever.

The cops are going to find you so pumped full of drugs, you'll be lucky if you

can blink.

No way, man. I don't touch that stuff.

Sure you do.

All that money being thrown your way, you couldn't handle it without a little

occasional help.

I can't believe Jimmy King set me up.

Jimmy's got what it takes.

Gut. Man, you weren't who you think you were.

You're mine.

And if you're not mine, you're sure as hell not Phil Sherman's.

I got some business to take care of.

You know what to do.

No good to me.

Going somewhere?

Where's Kirby?

We've been looking for him all night.

Look, I don't know anything.

I can snap every bone in your body and still keep you alive.

I've seen her do it. It's kind of ugly.

You know where Kirby is, don't you?

Didn't know they were going to hurt him.

Any last words before your permanent vacation to Timothy Lurieland?

Man, go to hell.

I will.

Not today.

Get him out of here!

Boy, am I glad to see you guys.

You want to die?

You hear me?

Frost went that way. Follow me. Come on. Move, move, move.

I have been waiting for a piece of you. Got it.

Change of heart?

I didn't know what I was getting into a breakdown.

Sorry, Kirby.

All right, cut the sap. You're making me gag.

You've got to get Kirby to draft sign up. Clock's ticking.

Is he on the hardwood string beam?

Okay,

people, we've got seven minutes.

You think we'll get him there in time?

I only need five.

Big tail.

I'll try and lose him.

Ready? Hang on.

It's breakstone.

Let's burn some fossil fuel.

What kind of an agent is this guy?

He's a brick.

Take him out.

Kirby, Kirby, just give me the ball.

Give me the ball.

Okay.

Ram -a -jam -a -bing -dong.

Yeah, baby.

Let's get Kirby inside.

We're running out of time for the draft sign -up.

13 seconds is there.

What's up with the gamma whatchamacallit? Is that like a college

something? The gamma point operative?

Oh, yeah.

Real exclusive.

You've got to bring him to come see me play.

I'd love to see you, Kirby.

I'm not much of a cheerleader, though.

Come on. You?

Not even in high school?

You would have been awesome.

Afraid not.

I don't know a layup from a touchdown.

I'm not playing you here, Kay.

What do you think, Valgal?

Very hard being Val on a day -to -day basis.

This wasn't all work between you and me, was it?

No, Kirby.

The only reason I helped out on this case was because it was you.

Do I still have a chance?

Kirby, you are so sweet.

If I was only two years younger... Three years younger.

Okay.

Several years younger.